comparemela.com

In the golden age of jet travel when you could light up a cigarette on the plane, trim your nails with a pocket knife, share a cocktail with the pilot. Watch ask the pilot why hes not flying the plane. No, no, the good news is that the tsa has just come up with something toate least make the security process a little less of a hassle for everyone. The bad news is what they came up with. The tsa under fire for spending about 47,000 on an app called the randomizer app. All it does is points left or right to determine where passengers are going to stand, in which line. Trevor im sorry, wait, let me get this straight. The government basically spent 47,000 on tsa tinder . Think about it, that is all they have made. Its an app that just goes left, right, left, right, left, right. And some creepy guy gropes you and you will probably never see him again. That saul it is. That is all it is. And the one thing everyone says about the tsa is yeah, i mean its a pain in the ass but at least theyre keeping us safe. O so you think. The tsa tries to recover from a series of highprofile embarrass ams. In a damning Inspector General audit where screeners failed to get results out of 67 out of 70. They missed 67 out of 70 . Let me ask just one question. Why the [bleep] am i taking my shoes off . No, because i feel i feel like im working harder than the tsa at that point. Like why, why are they even bothering to search us at all if tey miss 67 out of statisticically they do better an an horror sphm. They should be just be like, sir, do you have a bomb. Maybe . But lets turn to a quick check in on the 2016 race. Now this weekend was an impressive weekend. Bernie sanders won wyoming. cheers and applause . Trevor yes. Yup. Ted cruz won the delegates of colorado and somewhere in coral gables. Oh, you guys dont oh, okay, okay. Jeb bush won the biggest stuffed animal at skeeball, yeah. We miss you every day, jeb. And as everyone sets their sights on new york primary, one candidate is already losing votes among his own base. Two of done all trumps own children wont be voting for their father. Trump admitted today that eric and ivanka both missed the deadline to register as republicans in time to vote in the april 19th primary. Trevor really . You guys couldnt take five minutes to put your name on a form . All your family does is put your name on things and you couldnt find five minutes to just five minutes . And what should have been just another weekend of candidates pandering to the locals quickly, very quickly descended into chaos. In new york the race for president turning into a subway series. How are you . Hillary clinton opting for the 4 train where she struggled with hermet ro card, swiping it five times before it worked. That is so awkward for clinton. I feel like the turn style was like im going with bernie, man. Im going with bernie. Yeah. Just kept saying try again, try again. Which is funny because that is the same message voters gave her back in 2008. Was that thunder . What was that. Now while hillary was slumming it in the subway Bernie Sanders was going a little more 1 . Sanders spent some time in manhattan at the broadway musical, the phenomenon hamilton after hosting a Campaign Rally in brooklyn. He walked in, got a standing ovation. Trevor of course Bernie Sanders got a standing ovation in hamilton. Everyone in the audience thought he was a founding father. Oh my god, its him oh my god and by the way, bernie, if you are trying to meet every day new yorkers, hamilton is not the place to do it, my friend it sim possible to get tickets, some of them sell as high as 2,000, that is oh, wait a minute, oh, what is this whole running for president thing. Was this a sham . That bernie planned to get hamilton tickets . That would be so slick. The whole thing was a sham. And after the show he walks out, great show. And now im dropping out of the race. By the way, i love the banks. It must be night it must be nice now not to be outdone, the republicans also got into an empire state of mind. For john kasich, that meant sampling the new york cuisine. All of it. John kasich loves to eat. He dug into spaghetti bolognese, pasta fagioli and italian subs at mikes deli on arthur avenue. He washed it all down with a few sips of red wine. He has a got app tied. Appetite, that is a good sign. Trevor no, it is not a good sign. John kasich is eating like a man who knows his campaign is almost over. And hes not going to get free food much longer, like, thats how hes eating. No wonder kasich hasnt dropped out. Hes on a literal gravy train. Im sorry, i have to go now and talk about jobs at the cheese cake factory. Kasich in that picture, he looks like a squirrel with a mouthful of nuts for the winter. For a guy who wants to stay in the race, kasich really isnt doing himself any favors. Thats what it is all about here in the bronx. We are who we are. We are not changing for anybody. We need help in new york. We need help in the united states. I think you need a right fielder. Trevor what are you doing . Yours campaigning. A voter asks you for help, and you [bleep] on his baseball skills. Governor kasich, my daughter cant afford health insurance. Who cares, you cant cure ugly. What are you doing. Lets get another plate of lasagna over here. Who are you . Now after a week of watching the campaign circus come to town, because new york has been crazy. That is something that has been bugging me. It is that the news spends so much time on what candidates eat and the jokes they tell and if they seem fun to hang out with. But why does any of that matter. I dont understand. Like who cares if hillary knows how to use a metro card. If she becomes the president , its literally never going to come up, never. Shes never going to be like oh no, im wait for the new clear negotiations. Come on, come on, i will just take a cab. She is never going to use that and you know what, i think this is the problem america finds it self in. Voters need a brilliant policy mind who can address Serious Problems but at the same time americans just kind of want a leader who is i a fun best friend. And i get that. But maybe, maybe we shouldnt deman that these two be the same person. And thats why we here at the daily show have a suggestion. This november, america must elect both a president and a mascot. laughter . Trevor think about it. Think about it. The president will go on policy, sign the bills, order the drone strikes, the boring grown up stuff and the mascot rides around in a drop top eating local foods, kissing babies, dancing for our ent tainlt. Because in the mascot does their job then the candidates dont have to do this. Watch my whip, whip, watch me nae nae. Watch me whip. applause . Trevor that is so embarrassing. And by the way, we dont have any footage of ted cruz dancing because music doesnt play when ted cruz is around. It is science, its sciences guys. Its science. You know who got the mascot thing right . The british. Theyve always had a mascot. The queens whole job is just to live in a palace, drink tea and be the britishest person around. Like her people love it and that frees up their Prime Minister to be a perfectly money dain politician who runs the country and hides his money in panama. Thats what it does. And that could happen here, people. Every four years america elects a policy wonk and also a superfun side kick. Could be like a bald eagle driving a monster truck tank. It would be so much fun. I know what you are thinking, trevor, where would we find a mascot like that. You know, some brightly colored cartoon character who pumps up the crowd with a giant head and weirdsized hands as he comes on to the stage, which is by the way, his real intro music. Yall ready for this. America, i give you your new mascot, and your new national anthem. Yall ready for this . Well be right back. Well be right back. 7 tmobile does data differently. While the other guys gouge you for every bit of data you use. Now, tmobile lets you stream all the video and music that you want from your favorite services. Free without using one bit of your lte data. Plus, you can roll your unused data forward. Nobody does data like tmobile. Get four lines. With ten gigs of 4g lte data each. For just thirtyfive bucks per line. From tmobile. Is that the famous food critic perfectly thin and crispy. Freshly roasted chipotle peppers. Um. Mild smokey taste. He knows this isnt a restaurant right . New tostitos cantina chipotle thins. Tostitos. Bring the party. This is violet. Shes been waiting for this moment for awhile. A moment other kids wouldnt think twice about. Her first bowl of cheerios. Because now that cheerios are gluten free, violet, and many others are enjoying their first bowl today. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. Im going to take things a little more serious now. Lets talk about japan. For decades theyve been at the forefront of Technical Innovation from the walkman to the play station, to whatever this is. Do you get superin your hair. Not any more. But now japanese innovation has really outdone itself. If you are interested in having Virtual Reality sex, well, turns out there is a special gadget for you. According to rice digital, the sex suit named the full body virtual interface will soon be available. Trevor yeah, thats a real thing, my friends. The virtual full body interface, its called. Now theres a title that really puts you in the mood. I guess balldrainatron 3,000 was already taken. Now if you are like me, you probably want to see how this machine works. U m, this is news. Now if you guys are not familiar with that sexual position, its called the reverse stormtrooper. And nice work, japan, youve managed to combine Virtual Reality with full body sensors to create what can only be described as motion capture for pervs. I guess now we know how andy circus gets off. And by the way, like why are the breasts perp particular perpendicular to the waste. Like has the inventor of the suit ever had sex with an actual female . This may be the first time where a woman might need to step in and say im sorry, but my boobs are up here. And another thing, did you sigh the guys mouth . Its like look at his mouth and how he was moving around. Watch it again. Watch it again. He looks like Stevie Wonder learned how to play the boobs. Like what is laughter what is he doing . Can we just talk for a second about why anyone would want to use that suit . Because first off, look how hard that thing is to get into. You cant just knock one out in the suit. You got to plan it out ahead in tiesm, you know, you have to cancel [bleep] to wear this. And the worst part is after you are done you have to take the suit off. Its like 20 minutes of shame. Thats all it is. 20 minutes of vell yoa vell row making that ksshkshh and you have to wash it out, scrubbing it in the sink, hanging it on the clothes line outside to dry. Yeah. Next door to other dudes suit like its just but you know, i love, i love that japan is making stuff like this. You know. And when you think north korea is testing missiles right next door and yet japanese science biggest priority is how do we bang a robot. It must be so hard to be an inventor in japan. If you want to invent anything than sex toys it must be horrible. I have created an alarm clock that also makes smoothies. Thats great. How do we [bleep] it . Look, people, look, jokes aside. Ive got to be honest. This is a little troubling. Technology is already isolating people from one another. This will not help. Who does this even appeal to, you know . I could see some really troubled and frankly inherently sad. Loving it, loving it, yes, yes yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. Trevor oh. Yep, yep. Trevor jordan what are you doing, were taping the show. This is so real, its like ons on the set right now. Trevor jordan, jordan, you are on the set. Are you doing this in front of a whole audience. Turn it off right now. I cant turn it off, i cant turn it off it is completely locked in. Oh, there it is. Whooo im going to need your laundry card. Trevor jordan klepper, everyone, well be right back. Before earning enough cash back from bank of america to buy a new gym bag. Before earning 1 cash back everywhere, every time and 2 back at the grocery store. Even before he got 3 back on gas. Kenny used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to join the wednesday night league. Because he loves to play hoops. Not jump through them. Thats the excitement of rewarding connections. Apply online or at a bank of america near you. The Gillette Mach 3 turbo still feels better after 10 shaves than a disposable on its first. Mach 3 blades have twice the coatings. For a closer shave with zero redness. Get an incredible experience shave after shave after shave. Gillette. The best a man can get. Thope to see you again soon. Whoa, whoa, i got this. Just gotta get the check. Almost there. I cant reach it. If you have alligator arms, you avoid picking up the check. What . Its what you do. I got this. Thanks, dennis if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Growwwlph. Its what you do. Oh that is good crispy duck. Case in point our handcrafted at skydiving chamber. Lways down for more. Refueling be hungry for more. Just never be hungry. With premium pepperoni and 100 real cheese. Ding hot pockets why are you so tired . Ts. Ahh, the after lunch food coma. Weve all been there. You had planned on ordering the salad, but the pasta and fries looked so good. Now, youre trying to find a place to catch a few zzzs. Without the boss catching you. Next time, grab a great tasting 5hour energy® shot. Itll help you stay alert and productive. No matter whats on the menu. Now is the time for 5hour energy®. Thank you so much. Did you say honey . Hey, try some . You know im always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios. Well youve come to the right place. Mind if i have another taste . Not at all mmm part of a complete breakfast well koj welcome back. My geses tonight is a singer and actor starring on broadway is in the color purple and in hbos confirmation. When thomas made comments about my anatomy, can you say ive got five women on my staff, i remember him saying that one woman had a big ass. He commented on a dress that i was wearing and asked what size my boobs were. Clarence thomas came by my house at night, uninvited but then tried to move the conversation over to the prospect of me dating him. Were talking about a thing that, you know, pretty much popped out of Clarence Thomas mouth whenever the hell he feels like saying it. Trevor please welcome Jennifer Hudson. applause i am never not excited to see you. Oh i see you in so many places and im never not excited. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for having me. Trevor you are doing so much right now. I mean lets just talk about it. Its it must have been emotional for you. I mean the idol finale is sort of where it all started. Yeah. Its kind of creepy because first of all, i was 22 when i started on idol. Now im 34, so that was like 12 years ago. And to still be here. Like i felt when i started idol i will do this for the experience. And because of that im sitting here talking to you today, you know what i mean. Trevor its really an amazing journey that you have gone through. You have done so much, beautiful voice, and acting, oscar, grammy, going for an and let me tell you, before we get to the movie, i have seen you in the color purple if you havent seen it t is a beautiful story. It really say beautiful story. What was interesting to me is you wouldnt seem like a su g avery type of person. No, at least i didnt think so. Su g is very glamorous, she is the sex kitten of it all. When they called me o to play that role, i was like me as su g, i thought i would be sophia or somebody, but not surks, g avery. But i think i found my inner su g, i would say. Trevor what is really fascinating for me about the story is the fact that you know its very rare that you watch a story like the color purple where the women are running the story. There is no savior, there is no man who comes and saves, there is no white person who comes and saves. It say beautiful story from beginning to end of a journey of trial and triblation. Was that important for you in playing the story. Definitely, it has to be. In portraying a role like sug with other powerful women, sov yoo, sophia, i think that is what inspired all of us the most is seeing that power amongst the women in it. And to see us lift each other up throughout the story. And finding things in each of our characters that is like no, thats me, that is something i would do. And to be able to see that in a character, to keep it in the character and to portray it in that way, if that makes any sense. Trevor you know what it is funny, there were moments in the story, it reminded me of my mom. St a powerful story about black women. That is all it was. Lets to see you playing in that role, you were once working on Disney Cruises. I was. Trevor did you ever see yourself what was your Favorite Song when you worked on the Disney Cruise . I have to go with starts with my life. That is one of my Favorite Songs of all time, to be honest, yeah. Of all time. Trevor can you sing a teeny bit of it. Ooh, okay. cheers and applause from the day we arrived on the planet thinking to the sun there is more to see than can be ever be found more do than can ever be done cheers and applause . Trevor how do you not why do you bother talking . Well, lately everyone makes me sing everything. Trevor why do you bother i feel like you have achieved a higher level of communication. And you waste time with us mere more tales speaking. Thank you, thank you, thank you forever. Trevor. Thank you, thank you. Trevor thats how it is supposed to be. Wow. Wow. Okay. Lets talk about confirmation. Again, a powerful story, a black woman, this seems like are you going for this. Yes t is very powerful, women, of telling of that story, to play angela, i thought she had a bit of spiceiness in her as well. But just to be able to be her voice because she never got her say or chance to tell her side of the story. Of her experiences with Clarence Thomas and so that is why i portrayed it. Trevor it is a powerful story. I love the fact that you are not just doing what are you doing but you are doing more to give back to others. Tell us a bit about your foundation. My sister and i started the july julian King Foundation in honor of my late nephew. Not only acknowledging just positive, but children trying. Where we come from, positivity is never acknowledged. So we made a point to acknowledge the positive that children do. So we have the Gift Foundation which we give toys to unfortunate kids at christmas. And then we also have a dinner for them and during school we give them their School Supplies and all their school needs so they dont have to worry about where they will get their school needs from when school rolls around. Trevor beautiful, thanks so much. Thank you for gferring back. Thank you for gifing to us. You can currently see Jennifer Hudson in the color purple and confirmation premiers april 16th at 8 p. M. On hbo. Jennifer hudson, everybody. cheers and applause im savin you five hundred coming soon from progressive, its savin u, the new hit single from the dizzcounts. Cash money the Biggest Discount and understand. The dizzcounts. Safe driver, paperless, paidinfull, multicar and joey fatone. Savin you five hundred im savin you five hundred we have autotune, right . Oh, yeah. Thats a hit all yeah are you eating lucky charms . No. This is a dream. Theyre magically delicious. Thats like my grandma the kcooked, my mom cooked. I make a lot of banana bread because the baby likes bananas. laughs whatever home means to you, well help you find it. Zillow. Case in point our handcrafted at skydiving chamber. Lways down for more. Refueling be hungry for more. Just never be hungry. With premium pepperoni and 100 real cheese. Ding hot pockets i would like three two is standard. Im not standard. Three weeks. Ok. Do you have the courage to stay up all night . Because this is our time the greatest tv week of our lives ladies and gentlemen, in the business of bingewatching, sleep is for the week so i want you ready to order takeout, every single night now are you with me . To awesomeness to watchathon big is back. Xfinity watchathon week starts april 18. The greatest collection of shows free with xfinity on demand. Trevor thats our show for tonight, thank you so much for tuning in. Here it is your moment of zen. How come youre not eating . I eat all day long. Mama mia. We now return to 20 20, barbara walterss exclusive interview with martha stewart. Martha, why do you think everyone hates you . I dont think people hate me. They may envy my lifestyle. Oh, no, no, no, martha. People hate you. I think the people you think hate me dont actually know me. Oh, they know you and they hate you. Im not just talking about your employees, either

© 2024 Vimarsana

comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.