Announcer march 15th, 2016. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. [ cheers and applause ] trevor welcome to the daily show. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you so much. Tc our guest tonight, im really excited for this, the New York Times columnist and coauthor of the book indentured, joe nocera is joining us, people [ cheers and applause ] so, tonight, were going to talk about unforced errors. Also known as whoopsies. Goofemups, or one Great American philosopher puts it [ laughter ] did i do that . You see, sometimes you get so in your head about winning, that you psych yourself out. It happens a lot to athletes under pressure. Like when shaq would miss his freethrows or Peyton Manning threw that pass over the fence into oldman witherbees yard, yeah, remember that, and they had to end the game in the third quarter, because that place is haunted, yo. Unforced errors, also a big hazard in politics, especially for president ial politics. For example, democratic frontrunner, Hillary Clinton. Here she is yesterday defending her run in the ousting of moammar gadhafi. Is libya perfect . It isnt. But did they have two elections that were free and fair where they voted for moderates, yes, they did. Yes, i mean, libya was a different kind of calculation. And we didnt lose a Single Person. Trevor yes, libya may be a disaster. But according to hillary, one major upside is that no american soldiers were killed overthrowing gadhafi. Or because clinton said, we didnt lose a Single Person in libya, it allows an opening for this to happen. Did you catch this, Hillary Clinton says no americans have died in libya. Hmm. Really . Ooh. How could you forget about these four americans murdered in benghazi . Trevor hmm, really, hmm, ah, hmm. [ laughter ] hillary you walked right into that trap. How could you not see it coming . Conservatives love blaming hillary for benghazi. They push benghazi like an italian waiter pushes parmesan. Thats enough. Thats enough. Im good. [ laughter ] yeah, i said when. I said when, like, long no, like, no, thank you no, thank you. Im really done. Yeah, thats yes, thats no, i dont want no, thank you, im fine. [ laughter ] no, i dont want pepper, thank you. Now, luckily for clinton, benghazi is not an issue that will hurt you with democratic voters. But she still has to be careful about making that type of unforced error on issues that her supporters actually care more about. You know, and avoiding those mistakes should be very easy. So easy, in fact, we turn it into a new segment. Welcome to this it should be easy, people, where it seems easy, because it is [ laughter ] our contestant tonight is the candidate for president and exfirst lady, making voters around the country say, ah, fine. Give it up for Hillary Rodham clinton [ cheers and applause ] whew so, lets start the game off with an easy round. Demographic at stake passionate young liberals. They back Bernie Sanders now. But if you want to keep them come general election time, you need to show them that youre honest and authentic. I always get a little chuckle when i hear my opponent talking about doing it. Well, i dont know where he was when i was trying to get healthcare in 93 and 94, standing up against the insurance companies, standing up against the drug companies. Trevor yeah where was bernie in 1993 . Smoking the daoob . Show me where hillary was on healthcare in 1993 . It took the Sanders Campaign less than five minutes to tweet a link from 1993 of clinton thanking Bernie Sanders for his support on healthcare. And im grateful that congressman sanders would join us today from vermont. [ buzzer sound ] [ laughter ] trevor ahhhh where was bernie in 1993 . Standing right behind you, hillary [ laughter ] now, now, now, in hillarys defense, people, it was 23 years ago, so maybe Bernie Sanders look different back then. [ laughter ] there is a [ laughter ] no. No, nope, nope. Looks exactly the same. Bernie sanders, somehow discovered the secret to eternal old age. [ laughter ] i dont know how hes done that. Hes benjamin without the button. [ laughter ] so lets move on to the next round. And now, that means it gets easier. [ laughter ] its last friday, and youre at Nancy Reagans funeral, because she has died. You need to Say Something respectful about the former first lady without upsetting your democratic voters. It may be hard for your viewers to remember how difficult it was for people to talk about hiv aids back in the 1980s. And because of both president and mrs. Reagan, in particular mr. Reagan, we started a National Conversation [ buzzer sound ] when before nobody would talk about it [ buzzer ] nobody wanted to do anything about it [ buzzer ] and, you know, that, too, is something that i really appreciate with her, very effective, lowkey advocacy. [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] trevor no, hillary the correct answer was any other combination of words. [ laughter ] the record is that the reagans did not act quickly enough. Ronald reagan led tens of thousands of people die of aids and hiv before he uttered a word about the crisis. Trevor there were so many things so many nice things hillary could have said about nancy reagan, but for some reason, she brought up the worst thing. Its almost like on the way to the funeral, just dont bring up aids. Just dont bring up aids. And so, hillary aids ahhhh [ laughter and applause ] hillary, you need the lgbt community. Theyre the people who started the discussion around aids, and because theyre active democratic voters, they should be your natural alie, so you cant say the reagans were good on aids. If you were making a movie about aids and you had to cast the bad guy well, you cast aids, but the reagans would get supporting roles. All right. [ laughter ] so, hillary losing more points. And time for the final round. The easiest one yet. The demographic is white, workingclass, swingstate voters who you probably cant win the white house without. They work tough, bluecollar jobs like coal mining and manufacturing, and theyre particularly worried about their job security. Secretary clinton, youre in ohio last sunday. All you have to do is im the only candidate which has a policy about how to bring economic opportunity, using clean renewable injury as the key into coal country, because were going to put a lot of coal miners and Coal Companies out of business. [ buzzer ] trevor right . [ laughter ] its so funny, out there, like, right, tim . And you know, tim is in the audience saying, i dont know who this woman is. Personally, i love coal. Yeah, i love coal. All coal. Charcoal, nat king cole. This lady is on her own. Im so sorry, hillary. What you were trying to say was people with coal jobs will get better jobs in the Renewable Energy industry, but instead, completely unnecessarily, it felt like you said this you are so [ bleep ] fired [ laughter ] trevor so weve come to the end of the game, and at the end of the game, hillary has scored zero points [ cheers and applause ] thats right and yet she is still moving on to the next round [ laughter ] thats all we have time for, Hillary Clinton this should have been easy well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] this is the allnew 20wow, its nice. Lets check it out. Do any of you have kids . I do yes. This car has a feature built in called teen driver technology, which lets parents see how their teens are driving. Oh, thats smart. It even mutes the radio until the seat belt is fastened. Will it keep track of how many boys get it in the car . laughter cause that could be useful. This is ahead of what my audi has for sure. Wish my beamer had that. I didnt even know that technology existed. Im not in the market for a car but now i may be. 3d so you can do a ton ofponds tstuff in a lot less time. Nger. Like look at a site without going to it. Or watch a video without opening it. You can do pretty much everything faster. Shooting stuff. Music stuff. Couch shopping. Shoe shopping. Running. Kind of. Checking a flight from an email. Im peeking my flight. Im not peeking my flight. Im peeking my. Wait, i missed my flight. Owl photos. Desert photos. Photos of. Dolphins a highstepping man. Pizza gifs. Its all faster with 3d touch on iphone 6s. But directv has been number one in Customer Satisfaction son pa, i know we settle for cable. Over cable for 15 years. father how bout over 15 satisfying years with that woman over there boiling your clothes. Her layers and layers of. Layers. Hair that ive rarely seen because its always under that bonnet. And how she fought off that grizzly and made him into these slippers. Thats satisfaction son. vo dont be a settler, get a 100 reward card when you switch to directv. Being hacked and intellectual property being stolen. That is cybercrime and it affects each and every one of us. Microsoft created the digital crimes unit to fight cybercrime. We use the microsoft cloud to visualize information so we can track down the criminals. When it comes to the cloud, trust and security are paramount. Were building what we learn back into the cloud to make people and organizations safer. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. Yesterday, we talked a little about the violence that has been breaking out at Donald Trumps rallies. Now, its gotten everyone a little on edge, including donald trump. In dayton, this dramatic moment. The secret service jumping on stage to surround trump, blocking him from a man trying to rush him. [ laughter ] trevor how much do you want to bet, just a split second, trump thought that that was jeb bush . [ laughter ] for a split second, he was, like, i knew hed be coming im sorry, jeb, i was just playing. [ laughter ] so what kind of person rushes the stage at a donald trump rally . Well, to donald trump, the answer was obvious. One of my people said, wow, they found his name. And it was probably isis or isisrelated. From the internet, if you look at the clips, he was playing arabic music. He was dragging the flag along the ground. Hes dragging the flag the American Flag yeah, you cant drag the American Flag on the ground. Every trump supporter knows youve got to treat the flag with respect. And thats why you wear it as a tanktop. [ laughter ] yeah you know, theres just one problem with Donald Trumps isis theory. Law enforcement officials from two different federal agencies tell nbc news they know of no isis connection, adding theres nothing to indicate any tie. That turned out to be video of a guy a total hoax. Trevor okay, just, look, well, was it a hoax hes dragging the flag . Was that him . I dont know. What do i know about it . All i know is whats on the internet. [ laughter ] trevor all i know is whats on the internet . [ laughter ] really . All i know is whats on the internet . That is literally worth the not knowing anything. [ laughter ] america, america has to build a wall to keep out slenderman and make sure that we can afford medicine for our sneezing panda [ laughter ] like, whoever that guy was who rushed the stage, you know, secret service stopped him. And most antitrump protesters dont get such professional courtesies. Cameras captured Trump Supporters shoving and yelling at this demonstrator. One trump supporter actually spitting in the face of this protester. Heres a man with a bloody face, at a trump event in st. Louis. People could be heard saying, shut his ass, shoot him. Some yelling, light him on fire. Trevor light the [ bleep ] on fire . [ groans ] good lord, man. I wonder in those instances, three hours later, that man is at dinner with his wife, and shes, like, i still cant believe you screamed light the [ bleep ] on fire. He was, like, yeah, i got carried away. All of this is terrible to watch. But the Silver Lining is, its creating good new jobs. Attention have you been injured in the flood of violence otherwise known as a donald trump rally . If so, you might be the victim of a condition known as assholethelioma, and were the law firm of klepper and wood, and were the team who fights for you. I was at a trump rally when a guy punched me for not cheering loud enough, and i was, like, hey, listen, im here to support donald trump, and he grabbed me and punched me harder. I was walking in a parking lot when someone in a trump hat headbutted me. I used to be a hat model. If you suffer from eyeblackening. Or blindness from overexposure to white skin. Call klepper and wood. Weve got your back [ laughter ] trevor thats going to be a useful service. [ applause ] really useful service. You know, one person who might need it well, you have probably seen this one. We have new video, what it shows is a black protester being escorted out of the building on his way out, a white man in the crowd jumps up and punches him in the face. Trevor i dont know how that old dude got away with it. He must be one charming gentleman. You bet i liked it. Yeah. What did you like about it . Knock the hell out of that big mouth. We dont know who he is. But we know hes not acting like an american. The next time we see him, we might have to kill him. [ groans ] trevor holy [ bleep ] you know, on Comedy Central offered me a job in america, they didnt tell me about this guy. [ laughter ] because if they did, i would have come sooner. [ laughter ] [ applause ] of course [ applause ] the other reason this guy might have thought he could get away with throwing a punch was something donald trump has been saying. Yeah, get em out. Try not to hurt em. If you do, ill defend you in court. Dont worry about it. If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of em, would you . Seriously. [ cheers ] okay . Just knock the hell i promise you, i will pay for the legal fees. I promise. Trevor i promise you i will pay for the legal fees. Oh, youve got soft, trump. Old donald would make the mexicans pay for the legal fees. [ laughter ] so, donald trump may be paying legal fees of his supporters who heard protesters, which, again, is good news for the lawyers. Attention have you or anyone you known lost control and injured someone at a donald trump rally . Were the law firm of klepper and wood. And were the team to fight for you i dont know what happened, one minute i was chanting mexico, mexico the next, some college kid was running his face into my fist the little whore in the bernie shirt was looking at me funny, so, yeah. If you suffer from bruised fists, sudden loss of country. Rage elbow. Or muslim, call the law firm of klepper and woods. The best part is i will pay for the legal fees, i promise. There are literally no consequences. Call now. [ laughter ] trevor well be right back [ cheers and applause ] hi here for our 1 for everyone event . Yep, and i brought everyone. Everyone . Kamiko is my bff, darren is her boyfriend. Jilliam is my sister, shes dating liam who used to date theresa, but theyre still friends. Well, kamiko and darren could get 0 apr financing. Low Monthly Payments for jillian. Amazing lease deals for liam and tons of inventory for his friend theresa. Nice. During toyotas 1 for everyone sales event get 0 apr financing on a 2016 rav4. Offer ends april 4th. For great deals on other toyotas visit toyota. Com got room for one more . Toyota. Lets go places. I got minds to twist and alrivalues to warp. His. Mr. Tyler, your skittles portrait. That is e to the z oh twiddly deesgusting you havent heard me sing diddlyding yet. Dream on higher. Dream on i think a little higher dreammmm onnnnnnnn dreammm onnnn rock the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. You may think its a result of brushing too hard. Its not. Its a sign of early gum disease which you can help reverse by using listerine® added to your brushing routine listerine® kills up to 99. 9 of germs and helps reverse early gum disease in just two weeks. Listerine® power to your mouth™ also try listerine® floss. Its advanced Technology Removes more plaque. We belong together we belong together yes we do announcer the best deserves the best. Activate or upgrade now to the new Samsung Galaxy s7 edge and get 24 bonus gigs a year. On verizon, americas 1 network. Which has that one scene you forgot about. So you use your goto parental blocking device. Which also happens to be your goto snack. Baked with real ingredients. No artificial flavors or colors. Introducing good thins. Your goto good. [ cheers and applause ] trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is the columnist for the New York Times and the coauthor of the book indentured the inside story of the rebellion against the ncaa. Please welcome joe nocera. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. My pleasure. Trevor what a fascinating book. Lets get into it immediately, because, i mean, were at the start of march madness. We are. Trevor were talking about college basketball, and the book i mean, that title, indentured. Is it safe to say you are say ing that the ncaa treats its players like slaves . Indentured servants. I dont go all the way to slaves. I dont. But indentured servants. Trevor you go along to slave but not all the way to slave. [ laughter ] not all the way, not all the way, no. Trevor they could leave. They can leave. Of course, it wrecks their career, they cant get an education, they dont have a good life. So they can leave. Trevor so slaves. Got it. [ laughter ] its such a fascinating book, because, i mean, a lot of people love college basketball. Its so exciting. Its huge in america. But, i mean, the things that you read about in this book are so powerful in terms of how you feel the ncaas treating the players. Do you really believe that the change needs to come in the form of them paying the players . I do. I think they need more rights. I think they need due process. And i think they need money. They get a scholarship, but they often dont get an education. Theyre making billions of dollars trevor what does that mean, they get a scholarship but they dont get an education . Well, they take classes that are designed to keep them on the field as opposed to getting having a normal major like every other student. A lot of them arent prepared for college work. Trevor yeah. A lot of them, you know, they get they finish their four years, theyre not ready to graduate, theyre done. They get tossed out. Trevor heres heres the problem, i mean, from the ncaas side. They say the reason College Players shouldnt be paid is because i mean, they list many reasons one of the biggest ones is that, that no longer means theyre amateurs. It will spoil the game. Thats correct. It no longer means theyre amateurs. So . [ laughter ] whats their point . [ applause ] trevor well, the point theyre making the point theyre making is theyre saying without the game being about amateurs, it loses the thrill. Part of the thrill is that theyre not professionals. Part of the thrill is these are college kids and that makes it exciting and has a rawness to it. Well, where does it say that you cant get paid if youre in college . Trevor in the ncaa rules. [ applause ] no, no, no, i mean every student. You work in the photo lab. You work in the cafeteria. Lots of students get paid. The only ones that dont get paid are athletes. [ applause ] who, by the way, work 50, 60 hours. Their education is way secondary to being on the practice field. Trevor yeah. And oh, by the way, the coach makes 5 million. You know why he makes 5 million . Because they dont have any they dont have anyplace else to put the money. Trevor that is insane. That sin san insane. Its truly fascinating. Lets say theres a middle ground. Its easy to say they should pay them. They dont want to pay them. What are the things that can improve . You have rich suggestions in the book, which i appreciated. For instance, talking about the healthcare. Why is healthcare and insurance so important for these players . Well, a lot of them, you know, they end their careers with injuries, with pain. That theyre going to have for the rest of their lives. I think the universities have a moral responsibility to give players lifetime scholarships and Lifetime Health insurance. [ cheers and applause ] trevor if a player becomes a huge nba star, though, isnt that a little unfair . How many of them become huge nba stars . Five percent of College Athletes join the professional ranks. 5 . Were talking really about 95 , their one window of athletic opportunity is when theyre in college. And, you know, a lot of dont graduate. Ten years later, they say, you know, i really should have gotten my degree. Trevor yeah. I think they should be able to do that. But i also think while they have this little window of opportunity, they should get some money. Trevor the ncaa, they do not play around. [ laughter ] like, how you think . Trevor how do you get this Going Forward . Heres heres the problem. The courts havent done a whole lot. Congress is never going to do anything. The ncaa is never going to reform itself. But there is a way. There is a way. If one team at the final four decided not to come out and just stayed in the locker room, youd change the system in an hour. [ laughter ] trevor can you tell me which team that would be . [ laughter ] i just need to change my bracket. Thats all im saying. I just need to adjust my bracket. That is an interesting challenge. Do you think any players would have the heart to do that . Five years ago, i thought that was completely impossible. But then, the Missouri Football Team last fall said, if we dont do something about the racism for students on campus, were going on strike, and we wont play next sunday. [ applause ] and think about what happened. Think about what happened. Trevor yeah. The president of the university resigned within 36 hours. Trevor thats powerful. Players have power. Trevor so final four, one hour, stay in the locker room. Stay in the locker room. Trevor which team would you like to stay in the locker room . [ laughter ] [ laughter ] all hey there, can i help you with anything . Hey siri, whats at ts latest offer . Oh, i dont think that siri can. Right now, switch to at t for an iphone and get one free. Wow, is that right . Yeah, its basically. Yes. That is the current offer from at t. Okay siri, you dont know everything. Well, i know you asked me to call you the at t hostess with the mostest. Okay, shut her down. Turn it off. Right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. Noor a wall of mountains. S. Nothing would get between him and what he was after. Some called him obsessed. We call him mister coors. And the pure Rocky Mountain water he hunted down is still used to brew the beer that bears his name. Coors. The banquet beer. Only those who dare. Drive the world forward. Introducing the firstever cadillac ct6. When the thirst is real. Theres no substitute for that classic, crisp, lemonlime flavor. Those bubbles cut right through. To give you exactly what you need. Nothing else comes close. You want the real eddie huang you better keep up because no matter where im going, im obey my thirst. Obey your thirst. Trevor thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is, your moment of zen. I mean, come on, you know thats, like, some 5 wine [ laughter ] they slap a label on it. Theyre charging 50. [ laughter ] saying, this is the greatest wine ever come on by Comedy Central [ ] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. Thank you so much. Such a great job. Please, thank you so much. Thank you very much