Trevor really . Go back to africa . No, no, now look, if that was a tv critk saying that to me. I understand. I understand am but you cant just say go back to africa to any black person you see in america. Not every black person is fromafter oh bleep bleep denise . Oh wow, girl. I didnt know were you coming out here. Oh. Oh, its denise, you should go back to africa, girl. People are missing you. Wow small world, small world. Sorry, where were we . Where were we . Nazi salute, go back to africa. Okay, okay, the trump supporters. You know, i have to say one thing that didnt sit well with me was how some of the trump protestors did their thing. A lot of those protestors did identify as supporters of Bernie Sanders. One of the organizers told me that they turned the place into a Bernie Sanders rally. The Bernie Sanders supporters that i talked to think this was a huge victory for them. Oh, yes, trust Bernie Sanders have fans to have an unreal statistics view of what is actually happening. Sorry, was na a bern, was na a bern . Look, i will say this, it is great to see young protestors so inspired bipolar particulars that they are no longer just hashtaging their feelings but actually getting off the couch and getting involved. But at the same time youve got to be careful. Because the narrative trump tells his sim paltizer thes are under attack. The left liberal force wants to silence them. So if you come in and you actually try to silence them, it is like trying to put a fire out by putting wood on to it. You have given trump the vil and that up until now he was making up. And you are probably saying what vil an, trevor, were just a bunch of Progressive College students of various ethnicities and religeon and gender identities. Exactly. You are the vil an hes talking about. And heres how you know that you are doing exactly what trump wants. Its in his script. Go home to mommy. Go to truck you in tuck you in bed. Get them out of here. Get them out of here. Can i be honest with you, it adds to the flavor. It really does. Makes it more exciting. I mean is isnt this better than listening to a long boring speech . Trevor really . Isnt this better than yeah, it is better than listening to a long boring speech nlts your plan was to go and watch a president ial candidate. Then getting punched in the face sort of throws your day off. Yeah, that is what that does. What happened to you. I was heres the truth. Donald trump isnt is just create an atmosphere of violent, he basically engineered it as carefully and deliberately as matt damon did when he was growing potatoes on mars. There are no consequences to protesting any more. There used to be consequences. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were at a place like this, they would be carried out on a stretcher, folks. Am i allowed to rip that whistle out of the mouth. I would rip that shall when you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you, seriously. Hes walking out the big high five, smiling laughing. Like to punch him in the face, ill tell you. Part of the problem is nobody wants to hurt each other any more. Trevor are you bleep bleep part of the problem is nobody wants to hurt each other any. Are you thats into the a problem, thats civilization. Now im afraid to know how trump views trushed toilets and oh, god, were back at incest again. I dont even know how we get here. Because basically he is saying he just wants these rallies to be like hockey games. Nobody knows the rules and most of the fans are white and fighting is definitely allowed. Which is weird, given how trump has described himself so often in the past. I am a peaceloving person, folks. Well, you know, im somebody that is a thinker. Im a big thicker. We love peace, we all love peace. Of course trump loves peace, he loves peace, couldnt hurt a fly but with those tiny little elf hands. laughter who knew. Who knew donald trump was such a hippie. I guess that is why he never cuts his hair and drops acid before every speech, he must be high. How does anybody believe this crap. On one hand hes saying im an upstanding citizen who hates violence. On the other hand he is rolling up his sleeves bell owing about breaking down the system with a followers who love getting in fist fights who is this guy. This guy cant like to be president , he wants to be tyler dureden from fight club. Is he basically running political fight club. And he even knows the first rule of fight club. There is no violence, these are love fest. Trevor you do not talk about fight club. And i thought i was just imagining trumps split personality until, until, an actual medical expert of the brain, no less, gave us his diagnosis last friday during his medical endorsement. I have come to know donald trump, there are two different Donald Trumps. Theres the one you see on the stage. And theres the one who is very cerebral, sits there and considers things very carefully. You can have a very good conversation with him. Trevor yeah. Just like there are two ben carsons. The ben who is wild and crazy, and the one that you never get to see. laughter who ha who ha ha. applause . Trevor im so glad. You know, in any other world, in any other campaign, having two faces is a charge the accused would deny because they know it would immediately disqualify them from running from the highest office in the land. So donald trump, do you agree with ben carson . I probably do agree. I think there are two Donald Trumps. Yeah, and believe me there is no problem with either of thems penis. So even trump say that there are two trumps, so the question is what does the other trump say . I think there is one donald trump. applause . Trevor we laugh but its still more likely that there is only one donald trump who is a cynical manipulating man, manipulating his followers and his enemies and media without any concern for what he is doing for the country. Thats possible. That is probably the truth. But do i hope, i do hope that there are two Donald Trumps because that way he could go bleep himself. Well be right back. Only pull n peel lets you pull it, peel it, play it. Fun never tasted so good with chewy, fruity pull n peel candy from twizzlers. boy mom because weresettle settlers and thats what we do. girl but with directv and at t, you can get your tv and Wireless Service from one provider. dad are not we your providers . Do we not provide you with this succulent jackrabbit pie . This delicious graywater soup . And a single lick of the family lolli every harvest moon . vo dont be a settler, get a 100 reward card when you switch to directv. Our progressive direct rate. We let you compare great deals for reals . And our competitors rates sidebyside, so you know youre getting a great deal. Saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isnt the lowest. Not always the lowest jamie. What are you doing . Im being your hype man. Not right now. You said i was gonna be the hype man. No, we said we wouldnt do it. Im sorry, we were talking about savings. I liked his way. Chaching talking about getting that moneeeey talking about getting that moneeeey savings worth the hype. Now thats progressive. That would be the sound of your alarm going off. . Unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night. Which means youre going to be alarmingly tired at work today. Listen, the truth is as a parent youll never get enough sleep. But you can get this a great tasting 5hour energy® shot. Itll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. Now is the time for 5hour energy®. Every coconut has a dream. To come out of its shell. To show all the world its true, inner beauty. And then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. Almond joy mounds. What every coconut wants. Watching tvs get sharper, oh remotes, youve had it tough. Bigger, smugger. And you . Rubbery buttons. Enter the x1 voice remote. Now when someone says. Show me funny movies. Watch discovery. Record this. Voila. Remotes you are back. The x1 voice remote is here. X1 customers get your voice remote by visiting xfinty. Com voiceremote. Trevor welcome back. As weve discussed, america has gone mad. Its here to discuss more on this is my friend neal brennan. cheers and applause thank you, trevor, our country is clearly in turmoil and we have a very important decision to make. Are we for or against kayne and kim. Trevor kayne are you talking about kim, neal, kayne and kim are not news, im sorry. Of course they are. They are on the news all the time. Cnn, new york times, world star. Trevor world star . Its like black cspan laughter . Trevor look, lets be real. The only reason kayne west is in the news is because of the controversial things that he says. Yes, he says controversial things, trevor, like i am god and bills couldby innocent. And you may be thinking thats awful and how is he not leading the republican primary. applause but hes a musical genius, saying crazy bleep bleep doesnt make him a bad person. Trevor he does more than just say crazy things. Like the were still not over tai lore swift thing, were still not over that. You mean the greatest moment of award history. Moments like that should be built in. Imagine in dicaprio won the oscar he they released the bear from the rev nant on to the stage and they deuked it out all over again. Trevor how do i start. Okay, look, i can give you kayne, hes talented. I kund stand it but a lot of people say kim, i mean did you see the photo, the picture that kim posted last week . I saw it for like an hour and a half. And then again for like three minutes. But what i dont get is kim posted a picture and is branded a slut and amy schumer and lena dunham take offs off and youve hi otherofare you a slut up to size 6 and after that you are a brave. People are saying im heroic now but im trying to get slutty by my wedding day. Trevor so when a woman takes her clothes off, then what is she . I dont know, a person, a maked person. Look, man, the amount of pressure on women is unbelievable. Kim posts one photo of herself and sets back an entire gender, 3 billion women, as if Office Managers are going to sit women down and be like look, jennifer, we were going to give you a raise but it turns out, kim. Trevor look, i hear you. Neal, i hear you. Some people say its more than just that, its that kim doesnt do anything. She is just famous for hanging around, not smiling and getting her picture taken. Oh, you mean like the mondaya lisa . Yeah, it hurts but look man, we all have to admit it, were jealous. Yeah, shes famous for doing nothing, just like all of us want to be. Thats why there is some guy who works at chipotle with his own vien, insta gram and Youtube Channel who thinks he is going to make it in show biz even though the only thing is he good at is rolling poison bur itos. Trevor, Everyone Wants to be a star. I even heard of one guy who moved from another continent to host a show in america. Trevor oh, you are talking about jon oliver. Yes, jon ol oliver. Trevor but neal, people feel like the car dashians are so unavoidable. They are just everywhere you turn right now. No, theyre not. Theyre in three places. The internet, goes i magazines and the e network. You know where theyre not, trevor . In books. Youre never going to be reading the catcher in the rye, turn the page and be like oh crap, its khloe. Look, you can either pretend you dislike them because they are shallow and vein and youre not or be honest with yourself and get on board. I made my choice. Trevor wow. That is one heroic photo. I was going for slutty but thank you. Trevor thank you, neal brennan, everyone. Well be right back. Check out the fresh new look on Mcdonalds Mcpick 2 menu try a flaky filetofish made with sustainably sourced fish, a big mac made with 100 beef, chicken mcnuggets made with white meat, or a quarter pounder with cheese seared on the grill. Pick any 2 for 5 bucks. Lemme get a mcpick 2 i started smoking when i was 16. I thought it would make me look so cool and feel so free. Now i have end stage copd, and ive had lung surgery. And im chained to an oxygen tank. My tip is; if you keep smoking, your freedom may only go as far as your oxygen tube. announcer you can quit. For free help, call 1800quitnow. For crash survival, subaru has developed ours most revolutionary feature yet. A car that can see trouble and stop itself to avoid it. When the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety tested front crash prevention nobody beat subaru models with eyesight. Not toyota. Not ford or any other brand. Subaru eyesight. An extra set of eyes, every time you drive. Before it was honey in these honey nut cheerios, it was honey being collected. And honey getting made. And honey that was just beginning. Totally, right . Kinda reminds me of when i had it all. Highpowered job, sports car. Had to walk away from it all. Ive known you since middle school. When did all this happen . Fourth grade. With all white meat chicken on a brioche bun, the ultimate chicken club has it all. clicks hey there, starting your search for the ri am used car . You got it. Just say show me millions of used cars for sale at the all new carfax. Com. But, i don want one thats had a bunch of owners just say, show me cars with only one owner pretty cool its perfect. Thats the power of carfax® find the cars you want, avoid the ones you dont plus you get a free carfax® report with every listing start your used car search at carfax. Com toasters broken. Hats going on . Which means no eggo waffles. Something smells delicious. Eggo leggo my eggo breakfast sandwich. Its sweet, its savory, its in your microwave. Leggo my eggo breakfast sandwich. And this. Is a thlive photo of a cat. Live photos are more than just photos. They come alive when you touch them. And then they go back to still when you let go. So every time you take a picture, you get more than just a photo. You get to relive the moment. Because it teleports you through space and time. Im kidding. Time travel is dangerous. Whistle music throughout dogs barking nearly half of us will need a lawyer this year. Find the right one for you on avvo. Avvo. Legal. Easier. Everyone wants to be cthe Cadbury Bunny because only he brings delicious cadbury creme eggs. While others may keep trying, nobunny knows easter better than cadbury. 2z welcome back. My guest tonight is a political commentator for cnn and the president of the dream corps. Please welcome Ben Jones Van jones. applause . Trevor i caught you. I see are you trained in the skills of hosting. You know, i cant sit until you sit. Its a game. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. Im a fan of its weird to say that to somebody on the news. And i dont say that but im a fan of yours. I appreciate it. Im a fan of yours as well. Trevor not only do you do a great job but you have exhibited the most restraint of any human being i have ever seen. Lets go straight into that zen. So for those that dont know, you can see it on youtube. You can see it everywhere. We talked about it on the show. You had a fight or an argument. An argument, yes. Trevor with a man, i mean even the names are so like van jones versus jeff lord. It sounds like people invented these names. Yeah. Trevor and you were fighting. This is in 2016, fighting about the kkk. Yes. It would have been bad enough if we were just fighting about whether the kkk should or should not be endorsing donald trump. We were fighting about whether its a liberal organization. So you can imagine, like, if they are so liberal, why are they endorsing donald trump. How about that . Trevor here is what i dont cuz i watched you in the interview. And there was a point where you put your hand on lords shoulder and your voice went high pitched. You know as a kid i remember on the playground be afraid of the kid who shouted in the whisper because you did that. Are you like why are you saying these things, man why were you so afraid of what he was saying . And why are you so afraid of the rhetoric thats being per pet yaited. Well, i think that America Needs to wake the hell up. Wake the hell up cheers and applause this is real. This is a real thing. I think you have people, everybody says the republicans, or the establishment, like why didnt they take trump more seriously. Trevor yeah. The whole society is making the same exact mistake. I think we have the rise of a right wing author tairian movement and i think is he likely to become president of the United States if we dont quit jeuing around. At first a nice little conversation on cable tv. I started think being may kids and what it would mean. And i had to get real. Had to get real. Trevor lets talk about that piece of the media, and the people involved. You were part of that. You cannot deny that trump has been given a huge platform by the media. I mean we sit and watch the news all the time here. Donald trump gets to phone in like nobody else does. All the others have to come to shows. He gets to phone nvment i wouldnt be shocked if he gets to text at some point. I shouldnt say this because i work for a major news i have a secret. There is a way to get him off the air permanently. Destroy him in 50 states in november. Period. Lets just deal with this. Thats the way you deal with it. Thats the way you deal with it. Listen, you have an opportunity right now, look, i love the protest, thats great. Oh, my free speech rights are being impeded. Yeah. Dude, you speak all the time. You speak more than any human ever born. Okay. So but the protest, your point, it can play into his hands. Thats not the only thing we should be doing. The way these right wing authortairian movements win is they start getting more and more people on their side who are legitimate. What we should be doing is getting every preparer, an editorial board, every intlecialtion every artist on record right now saying we dont want your hate, period. We dont want your hate. We dont want it, get out of here with that. Get out of here with that. applause . Trevor lets switch gears for a second. You are doing some amazing work. Not just on the news but you are president of the dream corps. What does that mean . I know you are doing protect jects, trying to get green energy into low income neighborhoods, working to educate people. What are the things you are focusing on and why. Look, if all i did was go on tv and argue with jeffery lord i would put a gun in my mouth. So i have to do other the things. The thing i do the most is im president of the dream korms, an incubator celebrator for causes we have 14 organizations helping to get apprentices from oakland in silicon valley. Thats good. Green for all, working to get solar panels into poor communities. Cut 50 and beyond prisons working to cut the prison population in half. Were doing real stuff and frankly there are more people in america like you, like me, like the people here who are doing good stuff for america than hate mongers who are trying to rip the country apart. If we stand together we can stop trump. The way you stop him is you make sure that everybody know this guy is real. He could actually be the president of the United States or he could be humiliated in 50 states and thats what we got to do. applause . Trevor van jones, check out the dream corps. Its a beautiful cause. Well be right back. And at progressive, we let you compare our progressive direct rate. Great deals for reals . And our competitors rates sidebyside, so you know youre getting a great deal. Saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isnt the lowest. Not always the lowest jamie. What are you doing . Im being your hype man. Not right now. You said i was gonna be the hype man. No, we said we wouldnt do it. Im sorry, we were talking about savings. I liked his way. Chaching talking about getting that moneeeey talking about getting that moneeeey savings worth the hype. Now thats progressive. Now, a bull rider on a plane. Is bolder than bold. And if he jumps from that plane. Thats bolder than bolder than bold and if he jumps while eating. A butterfinger bar. In all its crispetycrunchety,. Peanutbuttery glory. Thats bolder than bolder than bolder than bold and if he eats it. Honey . Even when his mother tells him not to. Youll spoil your dinner . Thats. Bolder than bolder than bolder than bolder than bold bolder than bold. Crispety, crunchety, peanutbuttery butterfinger. Theno one surface. Out there. No one speed. No one way of driving on each and every road. But there is one car that can conquer them all. The mercedesbenz cclass. Five driving modes let you customize the steering, shift points, and suspension to fit the mood youre in. And the road youre on. The 2016 cclass. Lease the c300 for 399 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Are you eating lucky charms . No. This is a dream. Theyre magically delicious. And we are the bug chicks. And im jess we are a nanobusiness. Windows 10 really helps us get the word out about how awesome bugs are. Kids learn to be brave and curious and all kids speak the language of bug. Hey cortana, find my katydid video. Oh this is so good. laughs if youre trying to teach a kid about a proboscis just sketch it on the screen. I dont have a touch screen on my mac, im jealous of that. laughs you put a big bug in a kids hands and change their world view. laughs were gonna have some fun now now at chilis, charcrusted sizzling sirloin. Ancho chile garlic rub atop a usda choice cut. Now available as part of our 20 dinner for two. What would help is simply being able to recognize a fair price. Thats never really been possible. But along comes a radically new way to buy a car, called truecar. Now it is. Truecar has pricing data on every make and model, so all you have to do is search for the car you want, there it is. Now youre an expert in less than a minute. This is how car buying was always meant to be. This is truecar. Trevor thats it for the show. But before we go, this week marks the start of march madness. And in honor of taking that theme way too literally, the daily show has created its own nonbasketball related tournament to find out what person, issue or thing makes you the American People the maddest. We have give ten the lawsuit proof name third month mania, yeah. So you can log on now, the third month mania. Com. And fill out your bracket and then come back and then starting wednesday night to vote on which of the teams advance to the next round. Will it be donald trump or will it be having to pay extra for guac. Or donald trump, the choice is yours. Here is t is, your zen of glen. Where are we right now . Were right in the everglades in south florida. I cant hear a damn thing youre saying but i love it. Im glad you are enjoying it. Have fun. No clue what hes saying hi. Im paula abdul. What you are about to see [ cheers and applause ] listen. What you are about to see is a reenactment of some events of this weeks biggest news story. Now, all the facts have been changed to get laughs at my expense. I hope you enjoy it. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on a special edition of primetime live, the shocking followup to our fallen idol expose. Former American Idol contestant corey clark has remembered more details about his alleged relationship with American Idol judge paula abdul. Corey, you claim you had a sexual relationship with paula abdul. Yeah, me and her were like sexally active, yeah. We talked about it wednesday night on tv. Mmhmm, yeah, mmhmm. But you felt you had some more to say. Yeah, i found some more evidence. You know what im saying . Like i found this receipt from carls jr. [ laughter ] one fish sandwich paid for with cash. Whose cash . Paulas cash. I didnt have money for luxuries like that. [ laughter ] was paula abdul feeding one contestants talents while letting the others starve . In retrospect, it should have been obvious from moments like this. Theres a ribbon in the sky a ribbon in the sky theres a ribbon in the sky for our love [ cheers and applause ] corey, that was beautiful. You really blew me away. Its just like i rolled over and said to you this morning [ laughter ] you have real star quality. Ill see you at home. [ laughter ] is that right
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