cheers and applause stephen welcome stott report, everybody, good to have you with us. Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. cheers and applause just hearing you chant like that just hearing you chrant chant like that is i got to say, your chanting, your adulation that just felt like a cork being tossed around in a typhoon of love. Folks if you watch the news you know the conflicts continue to rage all around the world an tonight im sad to report yet another International Another international dispute. Justin bieber and Orlando Bloom in a heated argument. That is actor Orlando Bloom arguing with pop star Justin Bieber. Overnight at a restaurant in ibiza spain. A clubgoer telling that bloom had thrown a punch at bieber. Stephen early reports reports indicate that Justin Bieber had his first hit in years. The roots of this conflict cheers and applause stephen folks, the roots of this conflict are, of course, byzantine and ancient. In 2012 Orlando Bloom was married to australian model miranda kerr, collectively they were known as morlando blur. Then in november of 2012 kerr who had long been suspectsed of being a radical belieber was seen with justin after a Victoria Secret fashion show. From the looks of this picture, she was either canooling with or babysitting him. From that moment from that moment Justin Bieber and miranda kir were known as mustin keebler. Well, not long after the formation of the mustin keebler alliance, morlando blur broke up. God knows what they are called now, im not sure who dot got custody of the original name. Of course at the time bieber had his own bilateral relationship with disney hatchling selena gomez. Their couple group el name was i believe jelusty gobbler. Confirm that, judges, that is correct. Then possibly in retaliation to biebers alleged aggression into the disputed territory of Miranda Kerrs fertile crescent, in april of 2014 Orlando Bloom established close ties with selena gomez seen here, apparently, after his mom said he had to take her to see frozen again. Their collective name, sorlena blom blomez, tensions were running high hen late last night in the no mans lan of ibiza Justin Bieber crossed into hostile territory by walking past blooms table. Bloom deployed defensive measures when he refused to shake biebers hand. Traumatized witnesses report that bieber then launched a short range ballistic, she was good. So bloom threw a punch at him. Now as a journalist its my job to report on atrocities like this, but to be clear i do not condone this type of violence. Because bloom missed biebers face. A defiant bieber then released a statement, whats up, bitch, and fled the restaurant. applause nation, nation, i know you all join me in joining pope francis in his el consequent plea eloquent plea for peace in the foam pits of ibiza. That was uncool, justin. In the words of ezekiel, bros before hoes. Stephen beautifully said. Folks, ive always said there nothing more american than our corporation. Its right there in their slogan, american runs on dunkin, chevrolet, the heartbeat of america, sears where america shops. Radio shack where america loudly asks where the hearing aid batterees are. laughter and i just hope that americas corporations cannot hear the attacks coming from the c. E. O. Of socialism. Theres small but growing group of big corporations that are fleeing the country to get out of paying taxes. Well, hold on, theyre not actually going anywhere, theyre keeping most of their business here, theyre technically renouncing their u. S. Citizenship. Theyre declaring their base someplace else even though most of their operations are here. You know some people are calling these Companies Corporate deserters. Corporate deserters. So they like dessert. laughter hes not only attacking corporate profit, now hes fat shaming. Folks, what this skinny bitch is talking about cheers and applause is a hot new Business Innovation known as inversion, where to escape americas brutal Corporate TaxRate Companies renounce their u. S. Citizenship by buying a foreign Subsidiary Company and then declaring that its u. S. Operations are owned by its new foreign subsidiary, not the other way around. Its like me adopting an african child, then claiming myself as his dependent. laughter i love you, daddy. This strategy is called the strategy is called inversion because afterwards the c. E. O. Celebrates paying no taxes with keg stands. And folks, inversion is all the rage these days. For instance, americas chiquita corporation has decided to be own by fivest fyffes a much smaller fruit producer from wellknown banana producer ireland. Thats why bananas start out green. I believe, i believe they are leprechaun penises. And laughter stephen thats what i believe. Thats what i believe. cheers and applause and folks, corporations have a clear duty to invert. The management of the company has a fiduciary legal obligation to produce a profit. And they are obligated to do that. They owe it to their shareholders to get the greatest profit pbl possible. There is nothing wrong with t inversions are legal, simp elevator as that. Stephen yes, and if something is legal, you should always do it. Thats why im going to japan on my next vacation to hunt dolphins. Im going to coming to get you, yes i am, im going to get you. laughter they love t they like it. Give them a little head start. Give them a head start. So, as the head of a corporation myself with the fiduciary responsibility to my shareholder, tonight i regretfully announce that the colbert report incorporated has purchased an alphorn repair shop in switzerland, for tax purposes this show will now be known as the colbert riiiicolaaaa. And no one but no one can tell me that that is unamerican. Here to tell me that that is unamerican, is Senior Editor at large at fortune magazine, author of the recent article positively unamerican tax dodges, allan sloan, allan, thank you so much for being here. Good to see you. applause there it is, positively unamerican tax dodges, fortune magazine. Okay, al, what is the big deal . This is just a corporation exercising its fiduciary responsibility to return the greatest profit for its investors. When did fortune become a socialist magazine. Well, actually were a capitalist magazine. Stephen got a funny way of showing it, al. Well, more so than they are. Because we actually worry about things like the longterm future of the united states, the longterm future of business, and the longterm future of corporate america. And if you go and talk to people, you will discover people are enraged by there. Stephen okay, you call this positively unamerican. Why unamerican. These companies are still patriotic. Because whether theyre paying taxes or not in the united states, im sure they will still use all their corporate money to help elect officials who approve of their behavior. applause so thats very touching. laughter but we have this idea, or i have this idea that to be american you should act like a citizen. You shouldnt just take stuff from the country, which these companies have done, then decide you dont want to pay for it, but by the way were actually all going to stay here. Well just pay a lot less than we used to, or maybe nothing, but well have all the benefits of being here. In the last president ial election, people talked about makers and takers. But i guess being a taker is okay, if you have 9 right set of lawyers and cannot pay tax in the united states. applause stephen you recently testified before congress about this issue. And you have said that congress can do something about these inversions. Is that your way of saying that nothing can be done about these inversions . cheers and applause something can be done. The question is whether something will be done is another question. And part of the problem, i have to say, is that the republicans and democrats, many of whom are not actually bad people, were sort of talking to each other and suddenly president obama, i have to say, taking lies that we had and not paying any royalty, he turned it into a big political issue. So now you have to wonder if any republican can actually do this. Stephen oh, because obama got his obamaness on it. They got to hose that thing off and get it back to congress. Well, allan, thank you so much for joining me. Fortune magazines Senior Editor at large, allan sloan. Well be right back, everybody. Thank you. When Francois Thibault said he was going to make vodka in cognac, with spring water and the best french wheat. Everyone here said. Non, non but little by little, the world got to love what he had made. Grey goose, francois . The extraordinary belongs to those who make it. Its the ultimate joy ride. Test drive tmobiles network free for 7 days on the oneandonly iphone 5s. Use the ultimate phone to see how much you can download, post, and stream on the Network Designed Data strong. Get the thrill of iphone 5s with the power of the Tmobile Network free for 7 days. Sign up for your free tmobile test drive at tmobile. Com testdrive a mint flavor that hointensifies as you chew. 5 ascent gum. Stimulate your senses. We discover it. Risk it. The quicker. The gutsier. Reebok zjet to blast you forward. Are you following . If not, catch up. Reebok zjet. 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Being naked pushes participants to truly open up about how naked they are. Being naked on this challenge is not a problem. Im comfortable in my own skin. My biggest concern is that i burn easy and i dont want my personal private parts to get fried and burned. Sadly later in the same episode his personal private parts suffered a severe blurring. Then theres vh1s dating naked which i also believe was the original title of girls. Dating naked takes the traditional dating show format and asks the eternal question s there anything that could get people to watch vh1 . The answer boobies. This is a radical dating experience but it will allow to you date in the most honest way possible. I didnt even get to buy you a drink yet. I felt an insanity connection with him and i think he felt it too. Stephen she thinks so, shes not sure. If only there was some way a naked man could indicate he was interested in a woman. applause maybe run the old flag up the old pole there. But my favorite nude reality show of all is tlcs buying naked in which nudist goes house hunting with a fully clothed broker. Weve been looking for houses in nudist communities. We have to find one. Who is this fine lady here. This is alex. He will take very good care of you today. Here is all the information about the property, guys. Thank you. Oh, here hes a bit of a fixerupper but he does provide a beautiful view out the back door. Because naked tv is such a huge hit i believe its only a matter of time until all tv is naked. Personally i look forward to ice roads naked. Naked cosmos and fox nude sunday. Naked cosmos and fox nude sunday. Well be right back. Aland feel proud of that, get out of the way. Because Peanut Butter is about to give it 125 . Snickers Peanut Butter squared. Now with 25 more Peanut Butter. Have the protein and fuel to fire you up. 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I voted cheers and applause stephen my guest tonight has starred in such films at 127 hours, milk and spring breakers. Being type cast as a good actor. Please welcome james franco. cheers and applause james, good to see you again, how are you. Great. Stephen nice to see you. Its always nice. Its always really nice to have you here. I love being here well, james, youre an Academy Award nominated actor, director. Poet, author, photographer, painter, conceptual artist. Teacher. Were so much alike. Yeah, yeah with. Renaissance man. Yeah. Stephen now youre currently a ph. D candidate, correct. Yes. Stephen what are you going to do once you get your ph. D and are you dr. James franco. Are you going to go back to General Hospital . laughter i would be a doctor of english but but i till might go back to General Hospital. Stephen you could diagnose peoples diaries, correct their grammer. Is there a form of i will teach but im already teaching it it wont really change, it actually wont change that much other than i could be tenured at the university. But i teach at unc and ucla and call arts already so theres not much more teaching i can kind of manage. You know, buddy, do you have. Stephen what what dow teach. Stephen i teach the nation. cheers and applause stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen this is what worries me. Do you have time, you know, for a family life, you know, youre a good looking guy, im told. I done know, im not into that seen but im told are you a good looking guy am you have to settle down, you are so busy, when are you going to have kids can, you know, life is short. I mean 40 is like the average age for people that i know to have kids. Yeah. Stephen wow, okay. So i got four more years. Stephen by the way, speaking of relationships, where do you come down on this whole bieber Orlando Bloom situation, where do you think . You know those guys. Im team bloom, i got to say. Now you have a new movie out, an adaptation of a mccarthy novel called child of god. Yes,. Stephen tell the good people what the story is about, its a cheerful little tale i would say that the tight sell ironic. Its about a man who is cast out of Civilized Society and goes and lives in the woods. In fact, deep down, there is a line in the book, hes a child of god much like you or me, perhaps. Stephen and what does he do, james. So he becomes a murderer and hes a necrophiliac. Its really an exploration of what it is to be human and need intimacy with another person so badly, and that if you are a person who is incapable of doing that because of because are you so strange or you are an outsider. Stephen because are you so busy teaching and doing movies and books and that kind of thing, that you cant actually allow yourself to have a relationship and get married and have children, then perhaps, go on. It not a selfportrait of me. Stephen really . Lets tack a look. We have a little clip right here,. Im going to let you make this easy on yourself. You tell us where you put them bodies so we can give them a proper burial. And well put you back in the hospital, let you take your chances with the law. Wheres them bodies, ballard. I dont know nothing about no bodies. cheers and applause stephen that is a fairly dark tale. What inspired you to make this. Can we relate to this guy k we relate to this guy. Yes. Stephen the child of god as you an i perhaps. That is the point. Not condone what he does in any way or to or to. But i think it is brave to say im going to take this on and im going to take the challenge this guy is doing some of the worst things possible, and make a watchable movie. Make a movie where the audience is not repelled. Stephen are there forms of expression or things that you havent had a chance to do that you would like to, macrame, experimental orth orthodonture. I have a very good life and get to do whatever i want. Stephen are you everywhere, sometimes are you places and you dont even know. Let me show you my Christmas Card it is a to the we took of my family in venice, thought it would be a nice Christmas Card. After we printed them, we realized this, zoom in, thats franco on an ad in the background. applause youre the franco that stole christmas. Thats it. As if i had any say that my picture would go up in san marco. Stephen no exactly, you have to take some responsibility for what you do to the world. Well, great seeing you again man. Wait, no. Stephen we got to go. You are i enjoy t i enjoy it,. Well see you on the new show. Stephen what . Are you going to go democrat when you go to this new show. Stephen now heres the interesting thing, i dont know what the [bleep] youre talking about james franco, child of god. Well be right back a piece of cheese. A simple act can forge a connection with the barkeep. And im making a metaphor for you. 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