Usa. Usa ole ole ole . Usa ole ole ole welcome to the report. Thank you so much. Welcome to the report. Folks, i want to start off tonight by saying hello and gracias for joining us or however brazilians say gracias in portuguese because last night in brazil at the world cup america won a soccer. A world cup victory for team u. S. A. The dramatic game that had the whole nation cheering. Team u. S. A. Defeating ghana 21. Millions of americans are celebrating this morning. We have soccer fever. Stephen yes, we have soccer fever, and one of the symptoms of soccer fever is victory foot. Usa ole ole ole . Folks, this is a huge day for americas sports fan, who have been excited about the world cup ever since they noticed it was happening, which was shortly after the nba finals ended on sunday. [laughter] now, its no secret, i have always been a soccer fan. And i know that i have said soccer is as exciting as watching drying paint play manila envelopes to a 00 tie, but i was just being hard on soccer because i love it. I wanted it to get better and it did. Youre welcome. Folks, this was a thriller of match. Team u. S. A. s Clint Dempsey stunned ghana with a goal in the opening 29 seconds, which is good, because most americans Attention Span for soccer is 30 seconds. Ole, ole, ole, ole unfortunately, due to copyright issues, i cannot show you more than 15 seconds of world cup video, but weve done our best to bring you all the excitement of the big moment. That pitch looks superb. Its a bit hard, though, isnt it . The players were talking about how if it is going to rain tonight, they were watering this before the game, and its very difficult to pick the right footwear because its so hard that its wet on top. Dempsey. Great shot. Dempsey scores [cheering] stephen great moment. What an incredible moment for dempsey. Sadly he forgot about it seven seconds later. Now, that goal was followed by an incredible lategame header by substitute john brooks to win it. What about that . Its john brooks. Incredible. He couldnt even have dreamt that. [laughter] stephen oh, no, english accent guy . I had a dream like two days before that i scored in the 88th minute, and now its the 86th minute. You had a dream about that . I had a dream. Stephen he had a dream. He is the Martin Luther king of soccer. Free kick at, last free kick last, thank god almighty, free kick last. After the victory, fans across america went wild, and of course the team celebrated the traditional soccer way by loading into moms minivan and heading to pizza hut where john brooks continued his hot streak on mrs. Pacman. Go, u. S. A. now, nation, my soccer team isnt the only reason im feeling like a winner. One week ago today House Majority leader and lenscrafters model understudy eric cantor lost his primary race to an unknown tea partier, david brat. Now that cantor is out as majority leader, conservatives have already started the race to replace him. My predictions for that race white. But, folks, cantors downfall highlights a problem for the rnc. His support for Immigration Reform is the key reason behind his defeat. Voters understood that if eric cantor went back to washington, that was a green light for Immigration Reform. Eric cantor was accused of rushing towards a Reform Program that his opponent labeled amnesty. Stephen yes, he supported amnesty. You mess with the bull, you get the horns, and i want to be clear, thats a rodeo bull metaphor, not a bullfighting metaphor. I want to keep my job. Sadly, it turns out a lot of the matadors have been voting. You have hispanics, you know, voting in larger and larger numbers. If the Republican Party is going to be successful in electing a president ial candidate in 2016, theyre going to have to find a way to appeal to hispanic voters. Stephen okay. What about a president ial ticket with hispanic appeal, like ted cruz and somebody appealing . Well work on it. Well work on it. [applause] fortunately, folks, there is a way for the grand old party to win over hispanics without becoming un grande el pollo. And its the subject of tonights word. [cheering and applause] shade of pale. Republican candidates may not poll well with hispanics, but there is one group who has always given them support. And that group is white guys. In fact, in 2012, 62 of white men voted for mitt romney. Those kind of numbers should have led to an awkward, regrettable victory dance, but there is some good news for the g. O. P. It turns out that a study by the Pew Research Center of the last u. S. Census analyzed the responses to two key questions one, are you of hispanic, latino or spanish origin, and, two, what is your race . Now, those two questions might seem really similar, so the answers are kind of tricky. So when the pew people studied the answers, they noticed something interesting. 2. 5 million americans who identified themselves as hispanic and some other race in 2000, ten years later, identified themselves as hispanic and white, meaning hispanics are voluntarily becoming white. Theyre saying, adios, cinco de myyo, and hello, cinco de mayo. And i do not blame hispanics. Ladies and gentlemen, i do not blame hispanics for becoming white. You see, white people, white people get to live in the best neighborhoods, get the best jobs, appropriate the best music. And i believe this proves that being white is a choice. One i make every day. It shows in the way i dress, the way i dance, the way i own a boat. So i speak for all people. [cheering and applause] i believe i speak for all white people when i say, welcome, transcaucasians. I myself am ciswhite. Ive always been comfortable with my birth race, but there is room for all of you in the white community. And heres the thing, you are not alone. Hispanics are just the latest immigrant group to become white. I mean, these days many people even consider italians to be white. But we cannot. I believe as nation we cannot stop at hispanics. The g. O. P. Is a tent big enough for anyone willing to call themselves white asians, indians, blacks, whatever bruno mars is. [laughter and applause] of course, when you get down to it, republicans dont struggle only with ethnic minorities. They also struggle with gender majorities. Like in 2012 when 55 of women voted for obama. So, ladies, you are welcome to join us, too. All you have do is identify as male, which, of course, is the white of genders. And once everyone starts seeing themselves as white males, conservatives can appeal to them by pointing out that they are under attack from the people they used to be. Theyll know which side their bread is buttered on. So please, join us, hispanics, because once everyone is white, there wont be anything to fight over. And thats the word. Well be right back. Introducing new Johnny Appleseed hard apple cider. Refreshingly sweet and intense. And bursting with a crisp apple bite. So try a Johnny Appleseed hard apple cider tonight and let the stories flow. Berry pomegranate mio. Do i just squirt a little . Or you can squirt a lot. Really changes your water. It changes everything. [ male announcer ] mio. Squirt some. It changes everything. They challenge us. They take us to worlds full of heroes and titans. For respawn, building the best Interactive Entertainment begins with the cloud. This is titanfall. The first multiplayer game for xbox one built and run on microsoft azure. Letting gamers around the world interact in ways they never thought possible. This cloud turns data into excitement. This is the microsoft cloud. We wake up thinking about it. And bake it fresh instore, every day. Its a pretty good job. With some nice fringe benefits. But we know youve been thinking about it, too. cause its the very foundation of your sandwich. We dont take that lightly. So were always trying to make it even better. Thats why we added some ingredients and took others out. We think its our best bread yet. But come in and see for yourself. Bread is on the rise at subway. [cheering and applause] welcome back, everybody. Nation, folks, if youve been watching the show for the past eight and a half years, you know there is one moral evil ive crusade against since this show began. Its bow bow tie pass. Also gay marriage. Despite my firm belief that marriage is meant to be between one man, one woman, support for samesex marriage has spread like dysentery through a cruise ship. Jim . A new gallup poll finds support for Marriage Equality has hit an alltime high. 5 of americans now say 5 of americans say samesex marriage marriages should be legally valid with the same rights as traditional marriages. Lets look how quickly attitudes change. In 2004, an abc Washington Post poll found gay marriage was opposed by 59 of americans. Just ten years later, supported by 59 . Steep gay icon john stossel is right. Ever since the Supreme Court ruled that the defense of marriage act was unconstitutional, more and more states have run their own samesex bans through the grinder. [laughter] day people are winning this war, folks. At last count gay marriages are now fully recognized in 19 states and the district of columbia. So a warning to all those congressmen who share an apartment to help save money. You are teetering on the edge of a common law gay flophouse. And the latest state to get trampled by the gay pride parade, wisconsin. Just two weeks ago federal judge overturned the states ban on samesex marriage. Not surprising. I mean, that whole state is literally a sausagefest. Thankfully, wisconsin conservatives are fighting back. Wedding bells will not be ringing just yet for samesex couples in wisconsin. The same judge who just last week overturned the states ban on samesex marriage now says couples will have to wait while the states attorney general appeals the ruling. Stephen yes, over 550 samesex couples with marriage licenses are stuck in legal limbo, which i believe is also the name of one of their bars, but it may be loosing fight, folks, because there are hints that wisconsin governor and president ial hopeful scott walker is reconsidering his stance on samesex marriage. Governor scott walker, who has gone on record opposing samesex marriage, but since the ban was lifted, his opinion on the issue no longer matters. It doesnt matter what i think now. Are you rethinking your position on samesex marriage . Im just not stating one. Stephen yes. Hes just not stating one at all. I believe we must all respect walkers privacy at this difficult time to be against gay marriage. This is a personal matter between him and his pollster. It is none of the publics business what walker decides in the privacy of his own governors mansion. In fact, i too have felt the changing tides and so tonight in solidarity with scott walker, i Stephen Colbert am officially taking no stand on gay marriage. [cheering and applause] where do i find the indifference . Yes, i may have some said some crisp things about it in the past, like 90 seconds ago, but i have take harden look at public opinion, and ive decided to set the record straight. Or gay. It may or may not matter to me. The point is i am passionate about my unwillingness to express ore even say the words. Of my opinion. The point is, the point is im here, theyre queer, lets talk about something else. When we return,ly talk about the very same thing with my guest david boies and ted olson. Well be right back. [sound of rain. ] lets get redds strawberry ale. Just what i was thinking. Redds strawberry ale. Fresh like a strawberry; brewed like an ale. [sound of rain. ] touch down. Every morning. Ten times not just. Now and then. Once more on the rise. Nuts to the flabby guys go, you chicken fat, go away go, you chicken fat, go run, two, run running like a tortoise okay too far, and too slow. now double up, ready run two three four. running run two three four. like a hare run two three four. Ow you are run two three four. Etting there n two three four. O you are run two three four. N two three four. chicken fat, n twerybody sing . O away re , you chicken fat, go go go go dismissed padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. Helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. Advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. We wake up thinking about it. And bake it fresh instore, every day. Its a pretty good job. With some nice fringe benefits. But we know youve been thinking about it, too. cause its the very foundation of your sandwich. We dont take that lightly. So were always trying to make it even better. Thats why we added some ingredients and took others out. We think its our best bread yet. But come in and see for yourself. Bread is on the rise at subway. Stephen welcome back, everybody. My gusts tonight are the legal team who fought to strike down californias samesex marriage ban. Great. Now San Francisco will seem totally gay. Please welcome david boies and ted olson. [cheering and applause] good to see you. Mr. Olson. Mr. Boies, good to have you back. David, good to have you back. Ted, wonderful to have you on for the first time. I want to have you on for a long time. Now glad to be here finally. Stephen now you two, i have a bone to pick with you two gentlemen. Your free rise is over on this gay issue. Tell the people who you are. Lets see, david boies, theodore olson, prominent lawyers in the country. Youve argued over 70 cases before the Supreme Court, including the United States v. Microsoft, the Citizens United case, bush v. Gore and on opposite sides. Youre traditionally considered a liberal. Youre considered a conservative. Now, you two have got a new book called redeeming the dream the case for Marriage Equality. This describes the battle to get Marriage Equality all across the United States, but for you guys specifically the prop 8 case was the linchpin. Exactly. Stephen how can the two of you be friends . [laughter] you fought on either side of bush v. Gore. All right. You fought for gore. You fought for bush. And he accepted the outcome graciously. Im a very forgiving person. Stephen i got a question on that one. A bush v. Gore, great Supreme Court decision or the greatest Supreme Court decision . Ted, ill let you answer. What do you think . Well, the Supreme Court decides it, and they decided that bush won that case and won that election. And i think it was a very solid decision. Of course, i may be a little bit biased, but i think david agrees actually. Stephen im afraid we dont have time for his answer, but. Thats exactly what the court said. [cheering and applause] stephen you came together to fight for gay or samesex marriage rights. And youve won every case so far. [cheering and applause] what is so compelling about your argument that you would come together from different sides of the political spectrum to fight for this . The thing that influenced david and me the most i think is that were in a country discriminating against our fellow citizens. Our neighbors and our children and our coworkers, were discriminating against them. Were telling them that theyre not entitled to be treated the same and to have the same rights and privileges and disadvantages. Stephen we treat them the same. None of them can get married to each other. Thats called equal protection. Are you familiar with that clause . Thats exactly. We want them to be equal to us. Stephen is whole reason i got married was as a taunt to gay people, that they could not get married. It harms my marriage. It harms my marriage. Every state this spreads to gets closer and closer to my house. In your neighborhood, theyre already. There theyre already living next to your house. Are you making a list prosm innocent gay people . They are your neighbors. They are your friends. They are your coworkers. There are people who work for you here who wish to have the same rights and opportunities that the rest of us do. Stephen but doesnt society get to create moral standards . Dont we as a society get to create our own moral standards, and havent gay people, you know, nice people or not nice people, because not all of them are nice, lets face it. Theyre just people. Stephen except the rest of us are obeying a western moral standard. Whats immoral about being married . Married to another guy. We had a section on the show talking about how gay marriage is spreading and even scott walker is willing to express his opinion. Now youre on. Okay. That fits together like a male socket and female socket, okay. But a male socket and male socket together, no electricity. You understand . Does that make sense in do you understand how electricity works . Not a lot, but, you see, if it wasnt electricity, then they wouldnt want to get married. Were only talking about people who are in love, committed couples who have been together in some cases 10, 20, 30 years. People who are raising families. And people who simply want to have the same recognition for those unions, the same recognition for their children that theyre raising that everybody else has. All they want is the opportunity to have the same family values, the same openness, the same recognition in their community that everybody, gay, straight, black, white, republican, democrat, everybody wants that. Thats all that theyre asking for. Stephen is this the argument being made before the Supreme Court . I dont know what the hell youre cheering for. Whose side are you on . The argument we made before the Supreme Court is exactly that. In this country, we believe that all citizens are created equal, that they have equal opportunities. They have equal responsibilities. And gay and lesbian people, who consistent of large part of our population, are treated differently in california and the places we were talking about before we won in the Supreme Court. To change the chiewls in california. They were perceived as secondglass citizens. Their relationships didnt count. It was damaging to them and damaging to their children. And its not something thats trivial. It matters a great deal and everyones life all of the time. Stephen youre a conservative. Youre a liberal. The two of you have different political opinions and yet youre friends, but at the same time, you have different political opinions and are still friends. Thats unnatural in america these days. Its like someone who loves coffee tolerating someone who drinks tea. Where is your middle ground . Were trying to start a trend that would require for involved people actually listening to somebody who has a different opinion, especially over fine wine. Stephen oh, not in a difference of opinion other fine wine but drinking enough that the differences dont matter. Yes. Stephen dave, thank you so much. Ted, thank you so much. David boies and theodore olson, redeeming the dream. Well be right back. What art thou drinking isaac . Giveth me a redds apple ale gravity whats that . I have no idea. Redds apple ale. Crisp like an apple. Brewed like an ale. Stephen thats it for the report, everybody. Good night. Whew captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org its 11 59 and 59 seconds. This happened on giphy. Com. Today it was twenty years ago today sergeant pepper taught o. J. Simpson to kill nicole his wife and herb friend and try to flee to mexico in a white bronco. It was the twiel of last century. Heres footage of the event in gif form so modern viewers can understand what happened. Thats what it looked like. O. J. Simpson, star of the Monster Smash capricorn one and author of wifekilling book, if i did it, was hiding in the back of the infamous white bronco with cash, a gun, and a fake moustache, while his buddy, a. J. Accessory to double homicide cowlings, became the