Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen that was a first that was a first cheers and applause thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen ive got to say, your enthusiasm tonight, what you just did almost led to a first on the show i almost started chanting stephen, stephen myself, but then i caught myself cheering i only do that when im shaving in the morning. laughter folks, theres no bigger defender of the Second Amendment than faceyface right here. laughter ive always said, the best defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy hoarding guns in a backwoods shack muttering to himself about the coming race war. Which is why i support the opencarry movement, where patriots stand up for the Second Amendment by proudly displaying their guns in public places, like a patriot fest last month where these two buddies posted photos of themselves with their guns at a chipotle. laughter theyre telling the world theyre not ashamed of their gun love. They are out and proud. Were here, weve got gear, get used to it. laughter but im so sad to report that the response to this chipotle chiprotest was for chipotle and a whole slough of other restaurants to oppress gun lovers. Chipotle is asking customers not to bring guns in its restaurants. More restaurants are jumping on the nogunsallowed bandwagon. Sonic and chilis telling customers to leave their guns at home. Guns also not welcomed at starbucks, wendys, jack in the box and applebees. Look at that, its a domino effect. I just hope this ban doesnt spread to dominoes laughter i like to have a gun on hand because, after i eat one, i feel like killing myself. cheers and applause nation, these restaurants are forcing patriots to make the hardest choice any patriot can face between highpowered weaponry and fried food. Both are deadly, but only one of them comes with melted cheese. And its already becoming a wedge issue. A wedge of cheese issue. Because now our Second Amendment rights are under attack by the liberal whackos at the National Rifle association, who on their web site slandered these good men, saying. It is a rare sight to see someone sidle up next to you in line for lunch with a 7. 62 rifle slung across his chest. Lets not mince words, not only is it rare, its downright weird. Well, a 7. 62 is weird. Why would you wear a 7. 62 after memorial day . Its summer. You wanna wear something more light and kicky. Maybe an uzi with a folding stock. You know, fun. laughter something that says im ready for the beach, and if the right guy comes along, a firefight. But by not unconditionally supporting these men, the n. R. A. Is stabbing all gun lovers in the back, when it should be shooting us in the front. Thats why the Organization Behind the chipotle photos opencarry texas is firing back. On their facebook site, they challenged the n. R. A. Saying, if they do not retract their disgusting and disrespectful comments, o. C. T. Will have no choice but to withdraw its full support of the n. R. A. And establish relationships with other gun rights organizations that fight for all gun rights. Yes, all gun rights. Do you know some guns arent even allowed to vote . laughter and o. C. T. Has plenty of other progun groups to join like texas carry, gun rights across america, and come and take it texas. laughter great group, by the way. Dont try to come and take it. Nation, ive long warned you about the dangers of global warming. Melting ice caps, rising seas, reusable grocery bags. laughter now whats gonna get caught in trees . And folks, yesterday, we got one step closer to the nightmare scenario of doing something. Jim . The Obama Administration announcing strict new standards for Carbon Emissions. Proposing new e. P. A. Relations to take his strongest action yet against climate change. Its very much sort of obamacare for the air. Stephen yes, obamacare for the air get ready for breathe panels. laughter the proposed regulations would require states to cut Carbon Dioxide emissions from coal plants 30 by 2030. The good news is theres going to be a 2030. No surprise, the liberal media love this more even more than they love Barbara Streisands glutenfree quinoa winter solstice drum circle cleanse. laughter chris hayes . Today, historically speaking, has a chance to be the most important day in the presidency of barack obama, and todays huge announcement was why. The most significant effort by any american president ever to curb Carbon Emissions in this country. Stephen yes, its the most significant effort any president has ever taken to combat global warming. Second place, of course. Second place is a 43way tie for nothing. laughter applause purely platonic. laughter now, folks, obama claims hes doing this to help the environment, but we all know what this really is. Obama has made no secret that he hates coal and he wants to destroy that industry. If youre going to have to reduce Greenhouse Gas emissions by 30 , that probably means were going to see a lot of switching from coal to natural gas. We could see many as half of existing coalfired plants retired. President obamas war on coal. The war on coal. War on coal. Stephen yes, obamas launched a war on coal its the most vicious attack on an irreplaceable fuel source since james k. Polks blitzkrieg on kindling. laughter what is obama thinking . Cole generates 40 of americas electricity. The rest comes from traditional sources like oil, natural gas and radio shack plasma balls. laughter weve caged the lightning we cannot lose the coal industry. What will we give to naughty kids on christmas . A stocking full of wind . Come on. laughter so there isnt a single reason to support these new regulations. Here to give me multiple reasons to support these new regulations, please welcome yale professor of environmental law and policy, and the former commissioner of the Connecticut Department of energy and environmental protection, dan esty dan, thanks so much for coming back cheers and applause dan why on earth . You explain to me, mr. Environmental studies yale smarty pants, why is obama declaring war on coal and is he going to draw the troops out of afghanistan and send them straight into West Virginia . Stephen, im afraid to tell you theres no war. Stephen war on coal. No war on coal. Stephen its a modest first step. A funny faction against coal. Like kennedy took a modest step in vietnam. Hes done common sense things to begin transition to an clean energy future. Stephen why not clean coal, it has the word clean in it. It could be we will have clean coal but we need a broader portfolio and we have a chance to ship toward cheaper and cleaner natural gas. Stephen so youre for fracking, contaminating the bed bedrock with unknown chemicals. There is need for regulations stephen here we go, regulations. Wont regulations and closing the coal plants, wont that cost americans jobs . Not necessarily. There will be some transition. Stephen yeah . There is also a huge potential if you look for example what we did in the state of connecticut, where weve begun the transition, ramping up renewable energy, sorely, wind and a variety of stephen the sunshines in connecticut . The biggest sorely power country in the world is germany, which is less sunny than connecticut. There are places that made this transition begin to happen and youre seeing job growth in deployment of the renewable resources, delivering energy for every house and its lower cost and greater competitiveness. Stephen but in the mean time, till we get there, there will be jobs lost. Some transition. Stephen transition . Transition. Stephen how many people will be in the transition bread line . laughter you know, if there were really a serious effort to make this work across the country, you would probably want to invest in West Virginia as a Research Center for wind power, sorely power and some of the new technologies. Stephen obama is letting every state do this in their own way. Theres a standard but every state gets to set up their own carbon e exchanges. There is strategy, but stephen flows state to state . Flows state to state and global warming. The Greenhouse Gases black et the earth so theres a need to get a global picture. You start in each country but to get it on the ground, state level makes sense. Stephen you people put your faith in global warming. You tell me when i breathe out im breathing out co2. So do i have to breathe 30 less by 2030, or can i do Carbon Offsets by smothering a poor person with a pillow . laughter its okay obama wants me to hold still obama wants me to i thin i think there will be alternatives to the pillow knot smothering technique. Stephen well wait and see. Dan, thank you so much for joining me applause dan esty, Yale University well be right back cheers and applause boring yeah if you want to see old faithful dont be such a couch potato yeah just go check out the thing for yourself highlander we aint got no room for boring ferdy gerdy ferdy ger boom [ cluck, cluck ] no, we aint got no room for boring for boring, we aint got no room ahh [ male announcer ] the 2014 highlander. Toyota. Lets go places. [ male announcer ] the 2014 highlander. Hey you wont believe how much good stuff is in the pizza hut dinner box and you wont believe the price. T a pizza, 5 breadsticks, and 10 cinnamon sticks thats 17 bucks worth of food for 8. 99 when you carry out. But ycan believe it, because im telling you its true. And im a celebrity can i help you . We just wanted to find out about your family plan. Sure, you get 10 gigs of data to share with unlimited talk and xt. And for a family of four, thats 160 dollars a month. Sounds great. Sounds like a slam dunk. Oh you a basketball fan . Yeah, i played a little. Hmmm, me too. Lily adams. Point guard. High school jv. Grant hill. Small forward. College and professional. Oh, good for you. Introducing our bestever family pricing. For instance, a family of four gets 10 gigs of data, with unlimited talk text, for 160 dollars a month. Only from at t sorry, guys, private party. All right. No. Hey, eh, eh, eh, eh hey, eh, eh, eh lets go. [ male announcer ] summer just wouldnt be summer without the refreshing taste of pepsi, and youre all invited [ man on phone ] hows the pool party . Just got better. What art thou drinking isaac . Giveth me a redds apple ale gravity whats that . I have no idea. Redds apple ale. Crisp like an apple. Brewed like an ale. Hi. So whatcha in the mood for . Steakhouse . Steakhouse. steakhouse your bill, sir. screams no, no, no how much will you give me . screams as in like, steakhouse cheeseburger from wendys . Awesome. So you got change for the bus . Wendys new steakhouse jr. Cheeseburger deluxe is just 1. 49. With fresh steakhouseseasoned beef and garlic aioli. Your dollars more delicious here. Now thats better. Stephen welcome back, everybody folks, i dont know about you, folks, but i for one grew up in a time when the genders were clearly defined. One was the breadwinner, pantwearer and channelchangerhaver. The other was the nurturer, emotionhaver, and was triangleshaped. laughter but now men are becoming women, women are becoming men, and my inbox is becoming full of your angry letters every time i talk about it. I know. I know. Im cishetero nazie scum. I accept your judgment. But now the transgenders are transforming a new segment of america. Medicare patients may now apply to have sex change operations funded by you, the taxpayer. An appeals board for the department of health and Human Services says there is no justification for a threedecadeold rule excluding the procedure. Medicare covers 49 million senior citizens. Its not clear how many might be affected by the ruling. laughter stephen no, no. Could be all 49 million. Now its gonna be the lgbt aarp. applause the department of health and Human Services ruled that the surgery is safe and effective and can no longer be considered experimental. But i say this ruling is just a slippery slope to all of us paying for grandmas Human Centipede surgery, which is just a scam to score a Group Discount to lion king. But even more disturbing than the idea of nana and peepop playing mr. Potatohead downtown. Is that it violates the tacit agreement weve reached with the transgender community. I agree to be totally cool with it. Which i clearly am. Which Time Magazine clearly is and which all the people lobbying for this transgendered woman to be a victorias secret model clearly are. As long as youre hot. But now you want me to accept unattractive transgendered people . where does it end . Will i have to accept unattractive nontransgendered people . What am i, made of humanity . I besides, medicare paying for this is just another example of government waste. Because lets face it, after a certain age, who can really tell men and women apart . laughter they have equal amounts of ear hair, the same papery skin, even the same cologne. laughter so instead of taxpayers springing for some expensive surgery to turn a man into a woman, just give him a floralprint muumuu. Watch, jimmy, put up an old man. Now the muumuu. laughter tadaa applause youre welcome well be right back. Hey, long time. Thank you. Heres to that friend youve known since forever. The one whos been through it all with you. From playoff wins. To girlfriends lost. A guy you know better than anyone. Even if youve never called him by his real name. Hey, dad. Buddy. Hey there can i help you . whispering sorry. whispering hi, uh we need a new family plan. whispering how about 10 gigs of data to share and unlimited talk and text. whispering oh ten gigs sounds pretty good. whispering yeah really good whispering yeah and for a family of 4 its a 160 a month. What get outta here whispering im sorry are we still doing the whisper thing . Or . whispering o sorry yes yes whispering well take it. The was a truly amazing day. Without angies list, i dont know if we could have found all the services we needed for our riley. For over 18 years weve helped people take care of the things that matter most. Join today at angieslist. Com a. M. Crunchwraps over here. Cinnabon delights over there looks like a morning rave is about to go down. Whats a rave . [ male announcer ] the next generation of breakfast is here. The waffle taco, a. M. Crunchwrap, and cinnabon delights. Bees do it even educated fleas do it [ female announcer ] bring ky into your love nest. Lets fall in love [ female announcer ] is your morning trying to tell you something . Maybe we should have gotten him one . [ female announcer ] sweet, creamy iced coffee from mcdonalds. Another reason to love mccafe. Welcome back, everybody my guest tonight is an Award Winning actor cheers and applause please welcome Morgan Freeman cheers and applause mr. Freeman, thank you so much for joining me again good seeing you nice to have you thank you stephen listen to the people love their Morgan Freeman. Yes, i also like the way they love their Stephen Colbert stephen i agree, i agree tephen, i have to get this off my chest before its too late. I find your idiocy brilliant, and im very happy you let me come back on your show before youre fired. laughter applause stephen let me know when that is, please. Okay . Because when i am fired, i want to do some crazy bleep the night before as soon as i know, you will know. Stephen all right. All right. Stephen thank you very much. Now, obviously, the people love you. They know youre the awardwinning actor and producer. Some films include shaw shank, milliondollar baby, dark trilogy, also the secondhighest grossing actor of all time just behind tom hanks. What the bleep . applause what a jerk that guy is what a jerk tom hanks is for beating you on that one thats all right, i can talk to him. Stephen really . You talk to him about that. All right . Tell him im mad. All right. Stephen youre also the host of the emmy nominated show through the wormhole on the science channel, new episodes of season 5 start tomorrow. Okay. Why would you host a science show . Youre the voice of god why would you applause cheering um. Its interesting that you invoke the almighty. laughter because if you remember your history, he can do anything he wants. Stephen thats true. With god all things are possible. All things. Stephen yes. O its okay for me to host a science show. Actually stephen are you saying god is so powerful he can create a show so good even he will watch himself disprove his own existence . See what i mean about your brilliance . Exactly. Stephen have you always been interested in science . No, no, i how many actors do you know have the brain power to deal with science . Stephen thats true, actors are dumb. Very shallow, you cannot get your ankles wet in actors. I think scientists are all leftbrained primarily, actors are all rightbrained . Stephen im all heart, im all gut, okay . Right from here, okay . Secondary organs. laughter we love you. Stephen thank you very much, love you, too. A good friend of the show has a science show called cosmos, going to be up against you guys in a fight. We have each others backs. laughter stephen all right, fair enough. Now, we have a little clip of the show. Lets take a look at what were talking about. Shameful behavior is in the eye of the beholder. Most of the super rich would argue theyre not breaking any social rules. In fact, their investments create jobs and make the entire economy thrive and grow. But there will always be people at any income level who are willing to cheat to make a profit. When those people are called out by name in front of a crowd, shame can be effective. Okay, is that an attack on rich people i . laughter because, if im not mistaken, you are a rich man. No, it is not an attack on rich people. Stephen okay. But it is lets call it an examination of the possibility of leveling the field a little bit more. Stephen the episode is every show starts with a question. This one is poverty genetic . Who would ask that question . I mean, you would ask that question. I would ask it, yeah. Stephen is it genetic . No, cant possibly be. Stephen thats a very short show. Its a very short show. There are a lot of people who are examining the idea of genetics involved with wealth. Stephen as a star of stage and screen and radio. Stephen and radio, is there a field you havent conquered yet that youd like to . No. Stephen no . No. I think im pretty complete by now. Stephen youre complete . Yeah laughter im almost at the apex of life. Stephen how does that feel . Awesome stephen i cant wait to get there applause Morgan Freeman, through the wormhole on the science channel well be right back cheers and applause hey you wont believe how much good stuff is in the pizza hut dinner box and you wont believe the price. T a pizza, 5 breadsticks, and 10 cinnamon sticks thats 17 bucks worth of food for 8. 99 when you carry out. But ycan believe it, because im telling you its true. And im a celebrity when Francois Thibault said he with spring water and the n best french wheat. Everyone here said. Non, non but little by little, the world got to love what he had made. Grey goose, francois . 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When everyone and everything works together, business just sings. The exquisite Toyota Highlander booooriiiing hit it guys its got a bin for your chickens, a computer from the future and some giant freaky room for eight. Ooh, yeah but it aint got no room for boring im spacing out on all this space, too no, we aint got no room for boring. Whee for boring, we aint got no room the 2014 highlander. Toyota. Lets go places. What . Thjust got cooler withwn creamy avocado. Packed with tender turkey, black forest ham, lean roast beef and every veggie you can dream up. All on freshly baked bread. Stephen that the it for the report, everybody g sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org uncer june 3rd. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the show. Im jon stewart. Man, do we have a good show tonight. My guest tonight on this very night we have you want to hear this. My guest tonight is richard gervais. He is a comedian of note from