[ cheers and applause ] stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Thank you so much, folks. [ cheers and applause ] folks, there is no secret. Please, folks, ive got to tell you. [ cheers and applause ] please, please. Sit down. Folks, ive got to tell you there is no secret why these people are happy. There is a royal baby [ cheers and applause ] and the world is in the grips of postpartum jubilation. Folks, with all the depressing stories out there that i have to report night after night, it is refreshing once in a while to be able to tell you the uplifting story that the idle rich can procreate. They do it. Still, no word on a name name for the baby. Im sure theyll have some sort of web contest to name the baby. I want stephen colbince the prince. Get ready, nation. Well have more on this story as the fontanel firms up. Tomorrow well have full Team Coverage and. Hold on one second. Get a team. But first, folks, sad news. This weekend we lost a true legend of journalism with the passing of White House Reporter and friend of the show helen thomas. Helen covered ten president s over her 60year career, and her fellow journalists are remembering her with tributes, anecdotes, and in the case of geraldo rivera, by posting a naked selfie on twitter. Though come to think of it, that might not have a tribute to helen. That might have been what killed her. Man, he looks good. He looks really good. Look how well defined down here these. Im not sure. My people have no word for that muscle. Same way to herebyians have no word for snow. The flying buttresses, i suppose. No surprise that geraldo is once again blazing trails here or, in the case of his happy trail, waxing it. And the trail hes blazing, folks, is for the sexy seniors out there. As geraldo wrote in his tweet, 70 is the new 50. Exactly. And if theres one thing people want to see on their twitter feeds, its naked 50yearold men. [ cheers and applause ] ive got one year to get my [bleep] together. And as geraldo said in his tweet, erica and family are going to be so pissed. But at my age. Yes, at his age, he has clearly lost all judgment. And also has fewer years to have to live this down. And it is great to see geraldo join the long tradition of journalistic beefcake. I mean, who could forget Walter Cronkites famous signoff, and thats the way it is. Now watch my pecs dance. Nation, ive always been suspicious of the minimum wage. Ive said it before. Minimum is a misnomer. 7. 25 . I can think of wages a lot lower. 3. 28. 1. 19. A pat on the back and a handful of mints. There are literally dozens of other things you could give them. A barn owl. And when it comes to opposing the minimum wage, im in good company with guys who own companies. For example, billionaire industrialist and my future face twin charles koch in an interview with the wichita eagle, the cute koch said he wants to eliminate the minimum wage because it creates a culture of dependency and keeps people with limited capital from starting their own business. He is right. Having to pay your employees really hurts small business. I mean, look at our nations forefathers. Many arrived with nothing but the blouse on their back but thanks to no minimum wage, they started a booming cotton industry. But just try explaining macro economics to the 10. 4 million working poor. Some of them actually think the minimum wage is too low especially the four million who work in fast food. Jim . Since early april, there have been protests by fast food workers in seven cities. We cant afford to live on what we make. A coalition of groups calling themselves d15 helped organize this protest and others at mcdonalds, burger king, dominoes and other top chains to demand 15 an hour instead of 7. 40. Stephen 15 an hour . That would make the guy at fry station the richest man in detroit. [ cheers and applause ] i say your fries are ready. I say the problem isnt that the minimum wage is too low. Its that the poors out there dont know how to handle their cash. Many of the poor will use the money irresponsibly. There is a reason for poverty in america. Its usually personal responsibility. Poverty is not just an economic problem. It is a social problem and a social responsibility problem. Personal responsibility problem. You know thats true. Stephen yes, it doesnt matter how little you are paid. If youre poor, its your fault. I get that. But then again im not poor and if i were, i wouldnt be. Because i would turn being poor into an opppoortunity okay, trademark and mcdonalds agrees with me. Instead of raising salaries theyre giving their workers something more valuable than money a website. If theres anything weve learned in these tough Economic Times its to budget and save for the future, right . Well, macdonalds thought it was helping its employees by giving them an example of how to do just that on their limited salaries. A website launched by the chain called practical money skills for life. The site breaks down on a worker can make ends meet on a mcdonalds salary snef yes not to be confused with their delicious burger recipe which makes end meat. And take a mclook at their mcnuggets of mcwisdom. Mcjim. Even small things add up to a lot of money over time. Think of it this way. Lets say you go to the Convenience Store everyday for gum or even a candy bar mple its only a dollar, right . Well, if you multiply that dollar a day times 365 days a year, youre spending 365 a year on snacks alone. Stephen hold on. One second. Let me see. 365 times. Yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] times one. It checked out. Now, folks, the heart of the program is this downloadable budget journal workers can use to track their spending. Writing down and journaling your daily spending will help you understand where your money goes. You might say its too much trouble to write down everything you spend but before you say that, give it a try. Try it for one week and see if you notice a difference in your spending. Then try it for at least a month to see that you really will spend less. Stephen then try a year. Then try a decade. Then 50 years rm then ask yourself, why am i still working at mcdonalds . Im 86 years old. All you have to do is follow their sample monthly budget. Where they estimate you will spend 600 on rent. 100 on cable and phone, and 0 on heating. No problem. Just accumulate a warming layer of fat on your body like this employee. And other parts of their sample budget are equally helpful. For Health Insurance they budget 20. Now the cheapest macdonalds health plan is 50 but for 20 you can get a tournicut, a bottle of night train and a bite stick. Now you might be saying to yourself, stephen, i cant do all this on a mcdonalds salary. Well, thats where youre right. Because the budget assumes youre working a second job. Which of course wont be easy but that does mean two christmas parties. Just be sure to fill your pockets with shrimp and maybe a can of sterno because, remember, you have no heat. After all the expenses have been paid youre still left with 800 in monthly spending money for odds and enders like clothing, food, and gas luckily your polyester mcdonalds uniform qualifies as all three. So if you work two jobs at 75 hours a week and follow this budget to the letter, mcdonalds nonbindingly promises youll have 100 for savings a month because mcdonalds says, you can have almost almost you want as long as you plan ahead and save for it. Unless the thing you want is money. So stop complaining, four million fast food workers. Macdonalds may have net a profit last quarter of 1. 39 billion. But you get a fair wage plus all the grease you can breathe. For petes sake an employee at a chicago mcdonalds makes 8. 25 an hour but the ceo of macdonalds only makes 8. 75 Million Dollars a year. I mean 8. 25, 8. 75, theyre practically the same if you dont care about math. And macdonalds budget proves they dont. Well be right [jjj4fs20r9 9 hh,xa. a. a. a. D ,x [ cheers and applause ] stephen welcome back, everybody. Folks, thank you so much. Folks, if you watch this show you know that i am no man of astrophysics. If god wanted us to know how the universe was created hed have told us about it in a book which he did. Check and mate. Your move, atheists. Still, i am a fan of frequent guests of the show astrophysicist Neil Degrasse tyson. He answers all my questions about space like whats inside a super nova . And isnt it creepy that luke and leia kissed . But, folks, i have to take issue with something my friend neil said in a video interview with Business Insider about why we havent been contacted by aliens. I wonder if in fact we have been observed by aliens and upon close examination of human conduct and human behavior, they have concluded that there is no sign of intelligent life on earth. Stephen oh, really . Theres no intelligent life on earth . Well, maybe the aliens arent interested in us for our minds, neil. Maybe they like us for our bodies. May i remind you theyre not sticking the probes in the noodle, okay. Theyre sticking them in the kaboodle. Thats why theyre called asstronauts, not brainstronauts. [ cheers and applause ] now, sadly for science, neil wasnt done talking. It forces us to think of ourselves as intelligent. We have a certain intelligence gap between us and other creatures on earth. You dont walk by the worm on the street and say, gee, i wonder what hes thinking. No, you step on the worm. This is what we do. As humans. Stephen you hear that, folks . Neil degrassetyson noted astrophysicist is a wormstomping monster. He doesnt go fishing for sport. He does it to torture the bait. And what if aliens did visit us but they looked exactly like wormed and they landed here right after a summer rainstorm and on their way to address the u. N. , they saw you and said, oh, look theres astro physicist Neil Degrassetyson let us make a gesture of peace by spelling out the periodic symbol for hydrogen on the sidewalk. Hey, hes coming toward us clearly to learn the secrets of the univ diana ahhhhh. And they get crushed under your heel de grass tyson. Besides, neil, why are you so down on worms . Recently came across a very charming worm who just might change your mind, okay . This is beatrice. Okay. I met her a few weeks ago in my kitchen. Since then weve had some wonderful conversations. Shes a great listener. In fact, i would say shes my closest friend. I love you, beatrice worm. Stephen . Tephen what is it, jimmy . Im doing the show. Thats not a thats a piece of linguini. [ cheers and applause ] stephen of course its a worm, jimmy. I found her in a bowl of spaghetti. Its their natural camouflage. Besides, what kind of name is beatrice for a piece of linguini . Hes just jealous. Anyway, aliens, we are smart. Come talk to us. Well be right back. D [ cheers and applause ] stephen welcome back, everybody. My guest tonight has a new book about body image. Id read it if it were a little thinner. Please welcome kjerstin gruys. [ cheers and applause ] thank so much. Youre welcome. Stephen all right. You have a lot of ys and js in there. Kjerstin gruys ive got that correctly. Correct. Stephen thanks for coming on a show. Thank you. Stephen you are a former fashion industry. You are a candidate where you teach. Your book is called mirror, mirror off the wall. How i learned to love my body by not looking at it for a year. What do you mean . You did not look into a mirror for a year . And other affected surfaces were out also. Stephen like the toaster . The toaster the, the knife at restaurants. Stephen did you do that before . I didnt realize. Stephen were you always checking yourself out in the knife because you have a real problem. But you were . I didnt realize i was until i couldnt anymore. When i didnt want to. Then suddenly mirrors were everywhere. Stephen could you even look down at yourself or did you have to wear one of those dog collars like a chain . I looked down at myself all the time. To see if i had cat hair on me, et cetera. Stephen did you . Usually. Stephen why did you do this . Why put yourself through the agony of not looking at yourself. It wasnt agony. Stephen it wasnt . But youre a good looking person. Thank you very much but i didnt always feel that way. Like a lot of women, i completed my looks with my entire sense of self. Stephen and that is wrong because. It is wrong because. Stephen im just curious. We have many more things to offer the world and to ourselves. I think that everyone is beautiful in their own way. Stephen okay, no. Including. laughing . [ cheers and applause ] i dont know. Stephen some people are really hot. I mean, why cant people who are really hot, who look in the mirror and go, thats great, you know, i can understand if you looked in the mirror and went this or that, irto change this. If you looked in and went, looking good, buddy, whats wrong with that . I think its great to have selfesteem and a healthy body image but at the same time we need to keep appearance in perspective. Stephen the craziest thing is is you got married during this year without mirrors. I did. Stephen what was that like . [ cheers and applause ] thats daredevil. The wedding and preparing for the wedding was the reason i had to do this project. I was really getting sucked into the industry, the wedding industry telling me that, you know,. Stephen your most Beautiful Day of your life. Most important day of my life and that the wedding was really about what i looked like and not about my marriage and all my friends and family. And i was feeling alarmed. My research at u. C. L. A. Is about body image and womens issues. I felt kind of like a body image expert with a body image problem and i wanted to change that. Stephen did you think you had a problem . As i said youre a perfectly attractive person. Whats the problem with keeping track of your weight and your hair and your skin and that thing you have up there . I think its an individual. Stephen you know that thing on your face im talking . I have no idea but im going to trust you. Stephen that thing youve got. The thing you would change. The one thing you would change about your face. We all noticed it when you sat down. You know, i really think that every person has. A point. If we all took a step back and thought, am i spending the right amount of time, money, energy, and brain power or maybe a little too much . The answer is going to be different for everyone. I think its a worthwhile question to ask. Stephen do you think there can be, you know, you say everyone has got the, you know, right to feel about themselves the way they feel about themselves. Can being too confident about your looks be a bad thing . I think it can actually. You know, looks change our lives. Thats natural. Stephen not always. Can we show a picture please. [ cheers and applause ] you know, i like that he has rosecolored glasses. Stephen he is wearing rosecolord glasses. When you finally looked in the mirror, what did you think . Who was that stranger in my bathroom . Honestly, i felt like i was seeing an old friend that i hadnt seen in a year. It was wonderful. Stephen did she say anything back to you . She winked. Tephen did she . Looking good. Stephen sounds like she was coming on to you. You know, you have to keep it in check. Stephen kjerstin gruys, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Stephen kjerstin gruys, mirror irks mirror off the wall