>> outrageous and very very funny. >> i'm going to crawl over the table and try to seduce you in a few minutes. >> tonight, rosie o'donnell tells all. >> i think i have an image of me being like a bossy tiger, soprano, you get over here and you don't say anything. no, i'm a little cuddly hug me love me. >> proper lin love. >> i've been properly in love, i'd say three times. >> donald trump. >> i made fun of him and it seemed to upset him in a very very intense way. >> rosie or don't for the hour. this is the piers morgan interview and it will be outrageou outrageous. >> for the last year, i've waged a relentless twitter war with o rosie o'donnell. she always vowed never to come on this show because she said if she ever did, i would stare her in the eye and say what i always say, how many times have you been properly in love? she has, like most women, finally succumbed to my advances and here tonight. i suppose the most obvious opening question, how many times have you been properly in love? >> only with you and like chels sea handler and kathy griffin, i will crawl over and try to seduce you in a few minutes. >> why have you succumbed to coming here? >> when you banned madonna, i felt like it was a misuse of your power, now, i will ban you. now, here i am because everybody comes around. >> what changed your mind? >> i watched your show since day one and been admiring it. at the beginning, i was quite annoyed when you asked that horrible question to everyone as if you just thought of it. it was bad enough you asked it of every one. >> now, they want me to ask, how many times have you been properly in love? >> i've been properly in love three times. fascinating? >> who with? >> the one i'd like to talk about, my fiance, i'm actually engaged. >> your ex-wife would be the second. who would the third be? >> someone when i was much younger. she knows who she is. you have one relationship in your life that's kind of crazy and out of control a little bit that usually doesn't last very long but takes you into the deep water, into the rough waves. >> the first time your heart really breaks. you remember it? >> well. i almost have remote control in my brain and hit the dvr and hit play and remember the feeling. >> who broke whose heart? >> i was always the heart -- the first one, got it my heartbroken badly. it was the first time. that allows the light in, right? when you crack something, the light can get in. you have an idealism when you're a kid what romance and family and forever means. at 28, 29 years old, you're ready to step into a mature kind of love. that's what got me there was having a broken heart at 28. >> what did getting your heartbroken at 28 do to you? how did it change you emotionally? >> first of all, it opened me up. i was not as afraid as i was before, falling in love. i realized i was capable of risk taking, which -- people have thought that i had a wild kind of personal life and that i was out there with -- tomcatting around, not really. i could count on both hands all of the relationships i've had in my life. >> isn't the reality -- you've been such a huge iconic star on television for many different reasons, isn't the reality when you scale those different height s however fun a lot of it is, it can be a lonely existence? >> totally. you climb to the top of mt. everest, when you plant your flag, you come back down. there's no air up there when you're by yourself. you climb and be entertainer and passion and art and be accepted and love and have success and you get there and this is nothing like i thought it would be. it's also hard to explain to the audience, they, too, believe there is some utopia you arrive at, some destination of success and stardom that will fill you up emotionally and it doesn't. that was a shocking revelation for me. >> present company acce excepte have you ever been in love with a man? yes. >> who? >> his name is mike and i've been in love with him two years. >> you didn't cite him as proper lin love. >> i loved him very much and he was very helpful in my life. when i was with him a lot of stuff about my childhood was revealed. he was quite helpful in kind of mending my -- a lot of wounds from my childhood. he's a guy that i have very close feelings about inside but i don't know, i think i knew i was gay my whole life. there was a brief period i fell in love with him, i thought maybe i'm not gay. i hadn't had a lot of relationships before i'd met him. i'd only had two. i met him, okay, this was it. there was something really glorious about being in a relationship at the supermarket with your partner getting stuff for the football game on sunday and having the cashier say, how long have you guys been dating. when you're there with a woman, your same sex partner, no one asks, no one assume, it may be different today, in the '80s, when i was in my 20s, there was something very intoxicating about -- >> conventional relationships? >> about the societal approval that you got to have just by virtue of the fact that it was a heterosexual relationship. >> even now, is having a lesbian relationship, is it -- does it lead to constant conflict on a daily basis? do you always -- are you always aware of an element disapproving of you? do you feel defensive more than you would normally? >> not for me, i don't think. when i see the presidential candidates using it as a platform, i am kind of stunned. that hurts in a way i think that the politicians don't really realize. i don't feel it personally because many people in the country probably all the people in the country know that i'm gay. when i came out, it was in such a large way, it's not as though ever people are surprised. >> it is a weird thing. you mentioned politics there. in britain, my home country overseas, no politician right or left would ever come out with anti-gay comments. >> right. >> here in this election race, quite a few of the republicans at various stages have been transpare transparently anti-homosexuals. >> yes. the three top ones are no longer in the race, right? >> interesting to me they're not. i was quite shocked by the kind of virulence of their rhetoric, that today that can happen in a country i guess they're doing it because they believe a lot of their core conservative vote would want them to say that. i was quite taken aback. there aren't many countries actually, certainly not in europe where a politician can say those kind of things and get away with it. >> we're a backward nation in many ways. that's one of the ways most evident nowadays especially with the election. to think you can turn on the presidential debate and you can have people actually say they think being gay is wrong is shocking in 2012. it's shocking to me. >> what do you make of the gop race generally? >> you know, it's a sad lot of contenders. it's not the republican ra race -- the republican party that, you know, i grew up believing was one of the two viable ways to lead the nation in america. it just seems to be almost too much entertainment and no one qualified. that's the saddest thing. there doesn't seem to be any qualified. i wish that there would be a real contender so there could be real issues brought up and not everyone sidetracked with these absurd anti-gay rhetoric or whether or not evolution is real. >> let's play a clip from your show on oprah's own network, about politics. >> nobody would choose to be gay. you get ostracized. presidential hopefuls tell you they're not worthy, in their ads. can you imagine that? can you imagine, people who want to be the president saying how da dare you want to marry the person you love. >> from the rosie show, great to have you back doing that. >> thank you. >> i think a lot of people missed it. before the show started, you were like, i don't really want go political on this show and then you did because you felt this pressing need to do so. >> yeah. >> because you felt so affronted by what the politicians were saying. >> especially the rick perry ad. that was the day after the rick perry ad and i remember being at home and announced we were engaged and being in chicago and getting overwhelming support from everyone and watching this ad saying i don't believe you people have the same rights as other people in this country. that's not what america was founded on. it was hurtful and shocking. in the wake of teen suicides and gay bullying, i don't understand why politicians or anybody thinks they can get away with that. >> despite the rhetoric of some politicians, since i've been in america, new york has now sanctioned same sex marriage and joining a number of other sta states, these are big big moments for america in the same way barack obama became the first black president. >> when you think where we have come in 20 years as a nati nation -- even when my show started in '96, no one even asked me if i was gay. there was no internet perez hilton, no tmz, a whole different culture and homosexuality was something you didn't talk about. people knew you were gay in show business and you knew they were gay and it wasn't spoken of. to see we have come from here where celebrities are starring in sitcoms. when ellen did that, her show crashed and burned and she knocked down the door for many people, including me and hosting number one show, it's changed a lot. we have to catch up as a society really to how quickly rights for gay people have come into fashion in america. >> there's still a lot of big stars who are in the closet and everybody knows that. why do you feel there's still this fear of being open about sexuality in modern america? >> i don't know. i think that there aren't any -- a lot of people have said to me, you know so-and-so, you know so-and-so, are they gay? i personally don't know a star who i have come to know intimately friendly with in my life who is living a false -- i don't. i really don't. >> really? >> i don't. >> i'm surprised by that. >> people say to me all the time tom cruise is gay. i've been around tom cruise a lot. tom cruise drives race cars, i have never thought tom cruise is gay. >> he drive as race car. >> who he is in his life is not -- >> do you think mythology building up about certainly celebrities? >> i do. i don't know. i haven't seen it is all i can say. i know there are some people in my life who are not famous who have a very hard time dealing with their sexuality internally, whether or not that's religion they were raised in would choose have a life not "inside politics" consistent with their feelings they feel would be easier with the feelings from the catholic church from some elements of society to tell you you are less worthy, that's hard thing to take on. >> let's take a break. let's talk about family. we have something in common, our fathers both born in southern ireland and both raised as catholics and both impossibly good looking. óómógwgó what makes the sleep number store different? the sleep number bed. with the sleep number bed, it's not about soft or firm. it's about support where you find it most comfortable. the magic of this bed is that you're sleeping on something that conforms to your individual shape. on a traditional mattress, there is no adjustment. you get what you're buying that day. with our bed, you change the setting to something you like. this way, if you change your mind once you get home you can adjust it. wow! that feels really good. it's hugging my body. you can adjust it to whatever your needs are. your body changes over time. the bed can adapt with you. not only does it work for you today, but it's going to work for you 20 years from now. so whatever you feel like, the sleep number bed's going to provide it for you. and now, the company that redefined sleep is redefining memory foam. save $400 on our all-new memory foam bed - the only bed that combines cool, contouring gel foam with sleep number adjustability. and stock up and save on our exclusive bedding collection at our white sale. only at the sleep number store, where queen mattresses start at just $699. gy you know what these things are? when we got written up in a review in london. they have an annoying habit of shooting harry rubber bands at her audience members. if you're here in the u.s., it's a foosball. >> they are rubber bands. that's a terrible english accent you had. >> i thought it was pretty good. i tried to get on harry potter with that. >> i can do my rosie accent. >> sometimes you hear a british person speak no matter what they say, you're actually moved because there is something eloquent about your phraseology. >> tell me about your oprah network. she gave me a massive break. i know about the pressure of launching a new network. that was a completely different pressure into the unknown. nobody knew where this network would go. you've taken flak and gotten blahh plaudits. what's your overview now that you've been in there a few months. >> any new cable start-up takes 5 to 10 years to make it. including cnn. when oprah said she was going to do it. my initial deal was nbc and i said, please call and let them know i was interested. i didn't know she would want me and didn't want to assume she would want me. i gave a call and came over and i signed the deal and thrilled to be there. >> when you came over, titans of american television, trailblazer, what has the relationship like between you? >> i feel like she's the smarter prettier older sister you want to be like. she's intimidating to be around her. the most powerful woman in our lifetime, most successful woman in the history of media. >> why? >> she has a reach unbelievable. she has a satellite everyone receives and her authenticity and truthfulness is unparalleled. >> i found her completely real. i was stunned how nice she was to me, had no reason to be. it's my variananniversary week week, you're a great guest to have. oprah didn't just give me an interview, went out and sold the interview and told people it was great. i thought, why are you doing this? i couldn't do anything for her, really, but i appreciated it. >> gayle is a big supporter of yours, big fan and they're very good friends. she said, do him a favor. that's how it went down. she's a nice person. to be on her team and have her say, i choose you in the kickball at the school is a big thing. i wasn't sure i could do it again. i'm going to be 50 in march. i don't know. i don't have the hunger i had at 33 and had a newborn baby. let me do this so i can stay home. i don't have that hunger or i don't have it the way did. or at least it's switched in a different way. >> are you enjoying it? >> a lot. it's been a challenge. i want to succeed for myself and her and everyone. i really want to do well for her. >> when the heat is on, as it has been, a lot of stake for her reputation and for you indeed, what is she like under pressure? that's always a test of people when their leader is under pressure. >> i've never seen her under pressure. she has said from the beginning follow your instinct. you know what to do, go do it. >> ur ever expanding family. four children. >> yes. >> parker, chelsea sea, blake, vivian. how are they all? >> they're good. teenage years is much different than i expected. you have teenagers, i know. you have boys i think are easier than girls. >> my brother has four girls and my sister has three, definitely true. a much simpler thing. you basically talk about sport, all you have to do. >> which for you works well. >> my 18-year-old and 14 message me all day long about football, i know you love because you follow me on twitter. >> i unfollow you when the games are on because you're so annoying. you get so upset. how about when you threaten to kill yourself, will jump out this window. >> i threatened to throw myself off sanita monica pier. it was more shocking the number of people encouraging me to do that. >> don't listen to those people. >> do you like twitter? >> i do. i think it's a great way to interact with friends and fans. >> let's talk about you as a mother and you as a wife. you're about to become a wife again. >> yes. >> i want to know whether you think you're good at either. i suspect you are. >> i think i am. my special guest, rosie o'donnell. you've been behaving quite well so far. >> have i? what were you expecting? >> i think you were expecting mayhem. >> i think you like the female comics to flirt but being i'm a lesbian, i don't think it could turn. >> i do think under different circumstances, you and i could be a hot couple. >> i think that's when you began to melt towards me. >> i met your pregnant wife and that's when we began to cuddle. >> it was a nice cuddle. but not as cuddly as you were. you're disappearing. how much weight have you lost? >> 16 pounds. is that a stone? >> that's a stone. >> november 6th. no. >> two months, 16 pounds. >> working out and eating healthy. it was my fiance, michelle saying, i love you, i do want to marry you, i want you to live. every other day, has me do the treadmill as long as i could do. initially, i could only do 20 minutes and now i can do 45 minutes. >> that's good. >> for me. and resistance with the weights. honestly, she makes a healthy dinner. let's say we go out to dinner, i look at something and think, i'll have the cheeseburger deluxe. i say to her, honey, what do you think would be -- i would get this kind of fish and i do it. >> you're obedient. >> it is kind of shocking but i am. >> have you learned to be obedient in a relationship? >> i am always sort of obedient in a relationship. i am not the aggressor, much more submissive than any would ever believe. i really do follow orders, i do. it's shocking. i think i have an image of me being a bossy tiger like a tony soprano, you get over here, don't say good-bye to nobody. no. i'm a little cuddly love me hug me hold me. >> you are? >> i am. michelle was shocked as well. we had a long courtship via e-mail. i was in chicago working and away. >> you met in a restaurant? >> in a starbucks. she was holding a puppy and i was about to get a puppy. >> you capitalist. >> i didn't think she was gay in a million years. have you seen her? >> she's very attractive. >> i didn't know a lot of lesbians that wore high heel pradas. i saw them on the l world and thought it was fantasy. i thought she was very very beautiful. she looked to me like ann margaret or julian moore, and very smart and fun and very w l well-dress well-dressed. snow she is a cracker? she's beautiful. >> you've done well. >> thank you? i don't know how. i do say that to her often, are you sure, honey? are you sure? i didn't know whether to believe it or not. i thought to myself. i looked to ashton kutcher freshmfrom punked. i got her e-mail and she got my e-mail and we started e-mailing. about three weeks later, we went out on a date and then a second date and then we had a few months apart where we really actually fell in love, so the first time we ever spent the night together we were already in love, it was sort of a beautiful way to do it. i had never been in a relationship in that kind of way before. >> who proposed to who? >>. >> we talked about it getting married but i actually bought the ring and asked the question. was quite nervous and had never imagined doing it. if you grow up a gay girl, i knew i was gay when i was little, definitely not going to have a marriage, not going to have a wedding, you don't ever put that image in your head. sometimes going to weddings of friends you almost feel cheated you can't have that dream. when marriage was legal in new york and my brother danny is the state assemblyman who proposed that bill, i'm very proud of him for that. i want to do it and do it right. she's a girl that loves jewelry. i bought her a ring and i asked her she said abso-freaking-luteally. best answer in the world. i tried, i'm a baby a wuss. >> i bet you are pretty emotional. >> my kids, they can't stand it. they can't do anything, i love you so much. if i tell my children i love you, their reply, i know. i say to my son, blake, i love you, i know, mom. almost over it. >> do either of them have any problems with you being gay you picked up on or has it all worked out in a better way you can imagine? >> i think it's better because i'm a public figure and didn't have to tell their friends, everybody knew. when parker wayss a little boy, you're gay because your mom is gay. what do i say, mom. when say tell you, you're gay, ask them if they're looking for a date. i think it's a challenge to have parents who are gay in a society not accepting but i think it's easier because of my fame and they will have stories to tell about. >> you're a catholic and you went through this big high profile marriage before that didn't work out. is it a big regret to you it wasn't successful. obviously, you've moved to a very happy place. when you split up and divorced, after all the high profile attention it received, it must have been a bit of a blow to you? >> it was humiliating and probably the most difficult thing i ever went through in my adult life. i don't know how you felt when you got divorced, i felt shame. >> i bet you felt horrible emotions. >> horrible. i never thought it would happen. the o'donnell family on the whole, no one's been divorced, even cousins. when you get married, it's forever, and you stay, even if you're miserable. you've seen those old irish couples miserable and will go to mass on sunday. that's what i was raised with. >> when was it you realized it was irretrievable, you would split up? >> when she said what she said. i was the one saying let's work through it. it's difficult when you're in the public eye to have a marriage go south and try to work it out and have the publicity come in while you're in that stage of can we make this work? but we realized neither of us were as happy as we should be and the children even have said in hindsight, i hear sometimes vivvy talking to michelle and she'll say, this is better because mommy kelly is happy with ann and you are happy with mommy and everybody is always laughing in both houses. it is better. i was the type of person who wanted to hold on. >> how do you get along with kelly now? >> she's happy. with a lovely woman who's a singer in the new york cabaret and still doing her cruise line. >> did you invite her to your wedding? >> i probably would invite her. i think it's good for us to have separate lives. when she has the children, i try not to call and interfere. when i have the kids, she tries to do that same thing. i would invite her. i don't know it would feel right for either of us, in the same when she and ann get married, i don't think it would be right for me to be there. i love her, will always love her, i don't know if you know this, most lesbians i know are friends with all their exes, a cultural thing. you go to a party -- how do you guys know each other? i was with her for three years, they stay connected in each other's lives. we'll always be a family in that way. >> let's take another break. i want to talk to you about your upbringing. the most extraordinary thing, tragic loss of your mother when you were very young and your dad that had to bring up five kids and all that followed on from that. back with my special guest, rosie o'donnell. four days before your 11th birthday, you lost your mother to breast cancer. your father wasn't really geared up to bring up five kids on his own. a kacataclysmic moment in your life. take me back to that period from what you remember now. >> i remember she got sick around thanksgiving. they told us she had hepahepati. i looked it up in the scho schooldictions rare and it said a disease you get from needles. i thought she got it from a sewing machine. didn't know what it was. i knew something was happening. she was home for christmas, very thin. the beginning of march in the hospital. i was at my neighbors play, the mother went into the other room and said, roseanne, you have to go home. she never told me to go home. i practically lived there at my friend, jackie's house. i went in and there was cars of people i didn't recognize. my father sat us down at the kitchen table and said, mommy passed away. i remember saying, what does that mean? i didn't know what passed away was. mommy died. then it was just like screaming and yelling and the story that they tell, i don't remember this too well was i locked myself in my room for a couple of days. i don't remember that but my brother, danny, says that's what happened. the sad thing was the funeral was on my birthday. all the people that came to the funeral brought gifts. my brother, timmy was born the day before me. everybody walked in with presents. to this day, i'm very adverse to gifts. it feels odd, like it was almost ruined in a way. >> what do you remember about your mother? >> she was any president of the pta, she was very funny, head of the parish council at church. she used to make waves. the preach used to say to her, rose roseanne, don't make waves and she was adamant about justice and civil rights. we would talk about civil rights at the dinner table, about politics, george mcgovern, nixon and water gate. i do have very specific memories about her as a passionate involved woman who loved john kennedy in a big way and loved the democratic party, was a diehard irish -- you know, she was so proud of being irish. >> what do you think she would have made of how you have grown up? >> i don't know. i often think that my life would be totally different had she not died. but i don't know in what way. when someone die, you tend to sanctity fi them and they become in your memory almost like a movie. i think if she were alive today, we'd be great friends and going out to events. i don't know. many of my friends have turbulent relationships with their parents, most of us, right? when a parent is gone for whatever reason, you can make up something in your head about her. >> you haven't seen your mother in 40 years now. >> yes. >> amazing statistic when you get it down to that. when you see people who have very close relationships with their mothers, do you feel like you've had this huge void in your life? >> always. >> my friends always say to me, you're such a suck up to my mom. i'm so solicitous to my friend's parental approval. i was in school as well. after my mom died, when i was in school, i wanted to make the teachers laugh, especially female teachers. didn't want to make the other students laugh. i won class clown and i didn't try to make them laugh at their expense. and they take care of me and raise me as their own kids because public school teachers don't get the kind of credit they deserve for saving little children one at a time, as they did me. i know when i turned 40, i'm about to be 50. when i turned 40, every time i would catch myself in the mirror, i would see her face because that's the last image i had of her is at 39. >> really? >> i didn't have a plan how to live the second part of my life because i never had a template. >> you said this really poignant thing. you said, when i first held parker, it hit me the most, my god, she felt this, put your hand on your heart and knew she was dying, five children with a man she realized was-inch capable in many way, what must that have felt like for her. >> yes. >> it's an agonizing thing to have to contemplate. >> she did know she was dying so she taught us to make one meal. taught me to make london broil and taught my brother to make spaghetti. when she died, each of us had to cook one night for the whole family. >> really? >> she was aware. as an adult woman to be her age and know that she knew that, have my son placed in my arms and have that overwhelming amount of maternal love that happens, i can't fathom what she was going through. >> can you still cook it? >> yes, i do. it was with viva italian dressing, the marinade. you stick the fork in. funny, the four meals each kid cooked. my little brother, timmy, was only 5, i don't like to have them now as an adult. >> brings back too many painful memories? >> i don't like anything that reminds me of my childhood really around in my life. >> that's sad, isn't it? >> it is sad. >> how did your father deal with it in reality? >> not very well. he had his own issues and demons. he had a very tough childhood, alcoholic abusive father and never really got the help i think every person needs when they have lived through that as a child. the worst thing that can happen to any is to become what you loathe. and i think that he had a lot of problems to deal with in his own life, never mind being faced with raising these five small children. he did get a lot of empathy or sympathy from the local people in the town. like, we'd go to church and they would all be like, there's that o'donnell, such a good man he's doing -- he got a little bit heralded, you know, as this widower doing this great job raising the kids. >> now that you've had four kids yourself, have you been able to look back on him in a more favorable light given the enormity of what was suddenly thrust upon him? >> in some ways, i do. there's some unforgivable things i think as a child, the statute of limitations, i think, has to wear off, right? you get to be 50 years old, you can't still be angry at what your father did in 1970. you have to work it out yourself and find a place in your own life and not rehash it forever. >> that have you reached that place? >> i have. and he knows it and i told him that. he's still alive. i think he's still suffering. that's a sad thing to me. no matter what at the end of the day, every child loves their dad and mom, they do. it's innate. i would go to clairen hall, a place open in l.a. for abused children in protective custody. the first time i went there, a little boy, his hand was bandaged. i said, how are you doing? he was 6, what do you want tor christmas. he said, only to see my mommy. i said, i'm sure you will. one of the social workers said his mother held his hand to the stove and burned his fingers off. what that child wanted was his moth mother. no matter what, every child wants their parents to love them and be in their life. it's a very hard thing when stuff occurs to make that almost impossible. >> let's lighten the load a little bit. >> all right. >> after the break. i want to talk to you about two men i think you'll have strong opinions on. ricky gervais and donald trump. >> okay. >> here we go, cheer, cheers, piers. >> piers morgan, congratulations, the idea after a year you're retiring and getting out of the busine business -- i'm sorry. congratulations on your year anniversary. that's fantastic. i'm so thrilled that you're going to be continuing this fine broadcast tradition. mid grade dark roast forest fresh full tank brain freeze cake donettes rolling hot dogs bag of ice anti-freeze wash and dry diesel self-serve fix a flat jumper cables 5% cashback right now, get 5% cashback at gas stations. it pays to discover. the sleep number bed. the magic of this bed is that you're sleeping on something that conforms to your individual shape. you can adjust it to whatever your needs are. so whatever you feel like, the sleep number bed's going to provide it for you. and now, the company that redefined sleep is redefining memory foam. save $400 on our all-new memory foam bed. and at our white sale, stock up and save on our exclusive bedding collection. only at the sleep number store, where queen mattresses start at just $699. golly, that is deep snow! yeah, can you get me out of it? of course. travelocity? that's how i got here! that's amazing! but i'm still stuck. come on man, dig it! [ female announcer ] travelocity. get great deals on all kinds of beach vacations. let's see if oprah left a car under here. >> i have a daughter and i know you sometimes say [ bleep ] things to her. >> you have no idea. >> excuse me. she doesn't exactly have a [ bleep ] halo over her head. >> some of these celebrity guests from the "rosie show." the osbournes, you have to love them. >> i love them. from day one. >> when that show went on the air, people were like, that's horrible. i was like, this is the greatest gift to everyone. you couldn't understand one word he said. i thought the love you saw there in spite of the dysfunction was inspiring. in the most brilliantly dysfunctioning families. >> i agree. >> and loving. >> there's no cookie cutter how it's supposed to be and how they do it. everybody loves each other and a beautiful thing. >> absolutely. talking about loving each other, ricky gervais at the globes. what do you think of this new yorky brit standing there basically causing offense to all of hollywood. >> i shocked only because you don't see that comedy at an awards show. having hosted the grammys and the tonys, it's not an easy gig. it's terrifying, and you look out and there's all these luminaries. it took a tremendous amount of chutzpah. >> are you surprised they invited him back? >> shocked, and i was so happy he said yes, i thought it's going to be the most amazing thing you ever saw in your life. >> a great interview, but what i find fascinating, when he watched himself, he didn't laugh at the jokes, he laughed about a second before because he knew what was coming. in other words, for him, all the excitement came from that moment just before the offense itself. which i find hilarious to watch. >> it's so hard to be funny on those shows. it's three hours, a thankless job. you get ripped to shreds the next day. he did better than everyone had done it. we have seen comedic legends die on those shows, a horrible det, right? so i'm impressed by him. he makes me laugh. >> someone who makes you laugh and impressive, let's turn to donald trump. >> if we must. >> i love donald trump. he's done me a lot of favors. i wouldn't say a bad word against him, and you're probably not the best person to talk donald trump with, but i'm going to give you a chance. >> listen, i seem to upset him no matter what i say, so it's probably better not to go into it, but i don't juan to avoid it. i made fun of him on the show, which is what we're supposed to do, and i made fun of him, and things upset him in a very, very intense way. he's held onto it since 2006. and he said horrible things about me every chance he gets. >> i asked him on the show about me. >> i remember, i saw it. >> he said nice things about you. >> but then, again, it all chang changed. >> he did try. donald watching, and i'm sure he will be. he watches religiously. >> he does? >> look in the camera and say something nice. >> i think you were wonderful on the oprah winfrey show when your whole family was there, and it was an enjoyable hour to watch. is that all right? i don't have a lot of thought about him. >> i feel like i'm helping here. >> is there a surprise. there could be peace in the mideast and you could bring it to everyone. >> i expect there will be peace in the mideast. >> i need to get really thin so he can't call me fat, so he can say she's low-class and not fat. >> we'll talk about a moment you probably wish you could forget. i'm not going to let you. >> i can't even imagine. >> had to be humiliating. >> one year on the show. you're a rock star, been such a great year. congratulations, larry. look! the phillips' lady! we have to thank you for the advice on phillips' caplets. magnesium, right? you bet! phillips' caplets use magnesium. works more naturally than stimulant laxatives... for gentle relief of occasional constipation. can i get an autograph? [ female announcer ] live the regular life. phillips'. my high school science teacher made me what i am today. our science teacher helped us build it. ♪ now i'm a geologist at chevron, and i get to help science teachers. it has four servo motors and a wireless microcontroller. over the last three years we've put nearly 100 million dollars into american education. that's thousands of kids learning to love science. ♪ isn't that cool? and that's pretty cool. ♪ for you today ? we gave people right off the street a script and had them read it. no, sorry, i can't help you with that. i'm not authorized to access that transaction. that's not in our policy. i will transfer you now. my supervisor is currently not available. would you like to hold ? that department is currently closed. have i helped you with everything you needed ? if your bank doesn't give you knowledgeable customer service 24/7, you need an ally. ally bank. no nonsense. just people sense. a confirmation? >> yes, a confirmation? >> no, i wasn't given one. >> i was, your loss. get with the program. you with me now. get up. take off the robe. walk tall. come here and look gorgeous for me. >> 1994 film, exit to eden, which has taken $7 million and a lifetime gross. gross is the appropriate word because it was one of the worst movies i saw in my entire life. >> i think you're right. >> how do you feel about being in one of the most appalling movies made? >> i'm happy. one, it's gary marshall. he's the greatest guys and one of the most successful moviemakers, and he first wanted sharon stone for that part, and she said no, so they offered it to me. when i heard that, i thought, i'm taking this role. when is the chance that is ever going to happen again. let's get gilligan. i don't know how that happens. i was hap hae to do it just for that. i will tell you, it helped me a lot in terms of my body image. that was as thin as i had been as an adult, and had that outfit on, and the first day, i took it off and the guys were like, you look good in that. all of a sudden, i was like, i do? they're like, we're not shooting that scene today, and i was like, i know, just in case. it helped in terms of my body image. >> it wouldn't be right if i didn't end it asking my other favorite question. >> which is? >> if i could let you relive one moment in your life, what would it be? >> this interview, piers. >> no what would you say? >> i don't know. i have heard you ask it a million times before? >> you like it. >> it would have to be when my mother was home. i remember driving home from rainbow ranch where she would take my nana and herself to get dresses on sale. her foot was on my foot, and i didn't tell her because she wasn't overly affectionate like irish generally are not, but i loved the closeness of her foot being on my foot. when we got home, she said, why didn't you tell me? and i was like, i liked it. it was a moment where we sort of looked at each other. i was about 8 years old. i don't know, it's one of the sweetest memories i have of her. >> think he would have been proud of you. the way you have