cry. it's that constant struggle where my inner voice wants to keep going forward, and the good voice says, yeah, come on, you have that inner strength to do it. but the bad voice says no, stay here. have another shot of liquor. i was doing a dr. jeckyl and mr. hyde and her being my caregiver at the time, being with me 24 hours, she would be the one that would have to put up with the intense roller coaster ride of my feelings. so has it gotten better in the five years? yes. but do i still have the bad days that she still has to put up with? yes. >> am i heavy? no, i'm not heavy? oh, my gosh. this hurts my booty. oh, we've got to go up a hill and make a right. oh, i think i'm making the tires crunch. ♪