in minnesota now and not in reno. i probably wouldn't even be here. >> this is the airport where we took off on january 21st, 1985. i didn't move here to be near the crash scene. it was just more of a -- i don't know. >> do you think really deep about what you're doing with your life. and all the people that were involved with this accident that may have done more with their life. and you feel guilty that you're not using your life to do something better. >> he always talks about he's sometimes depressed about it. he's like why am i still here. like i made like a fool out of myself. i'm not even doing anything with my life. it makes me sad. >> during the course of my life,