i think that's something that comes along with being an amputee. it's so funny i picked a sport where every day i'm going to be so challenged, in pain, feeling the burn in my shoulders. but at the same time i think to me it's such a comfort. just that pushing through to know that no matter what i go through, i can overcome it. >> you've talked about being just exhausted after the rio olympics. what happened there and how did you bounce back? >> i was totally burned out. i had two shoulder injuries. i had a really bad eating disorder. i'd never really dealt with that before. i lost about 20 pounds. i was really sick, i was really weak. mentally, physically, emotionally. it was something that i felt i had to get through it but so incredibly challenging. when i got back, it was the first time i truly felt depressed, sad. i didn't like the word depressed. back then it felt like such a bad word. we talk a lot about the post-olympic blues. but after six months, i was