tightness relaxes a little bit. we know that in mourning there is despair and there is anger. but those are things that are part of the process. they're not to be acted on until we come to the end of the mourning period. and the end of the mourning period is a time where we reach shalom. shalom is a lot more nuanced than the word peace. it really is a word that means inclusivity. shalom is related to the word shalude which means wholeness. in wholeness, every voice is included. that sense that we are all in this together and that we need to look and see ourselves in the eyes of other people and feel this -- one of the flaws in our assumptions is the idea that rugged individualism is the way that people should behave.