I like to, you know, mix it up. Tagging down the texas one time. Mhm. Sorry ufo down there. Was about 1976. Thats right, joined with what was called the ufo called. But anyway, i didnt. I didnt have any sex with aliens or anything like that. In other parts of that i can keep on talking about but. I dont want to feed people out. And see here. This book was written by didnt know. The cover says how and when heavens gate and the biggest letters the door to the physical kingdom level above human maybe entered. As the two older members put out a statement. Held Public Meetings over about a nine month period in 1975 76. To bring their crew together. The media tagged them the ufo cult. Because of their expectation of leaving aboard spacecraft. The two older members then went into seclusion with their crew. After that nine month period. Of Holding Meetings around the country. T and i felt like we had instruction to call the students together. And to begin an intensive or in depth classroom training program. The numbers started dwindling cut about 50 to somewhere in the forties or fifties. And then we started. Really getting down to the nitty gritty. The point that i want to stress mostly, yes. That you are in a classroom 24 hours a day. Everything that happens to you. Is to see how you can respond as a member of the next level, not as a human, everything timely thing you do alone or with someone else is a test. In other words, you are striving to be perfect. There are no teachers in the next one. Were your teachers now. They said it was going to be the most difficult process that a human could bark upon. And its not likely that we would all make it. They put this together out of everything they thought was important. This is a list of their their behavioral guidelines. These were distributed in november. 1976 read is very extreme. If youre not a member, it is sped. These are the guidelines of how next level members if you dont want to do those, then youre not welcome. The first one is can you follow instructions without adding your own interpretation to can you deliver instructions as you receive them, or do they change according to your programming three. Do you participate in inconsiderate conversation before you physically clumsy break five. Do you halfway complete a task because six put tasks off. Procrastinate strict obedience and accuracy were demanded for entry to the next level, so every task was regulated. You were not to come up with. Well im going to make the pancakes this big. There was a mixture a size. How many person got how the syrup was poured on it. Everything. Im staying in my own head having private thoughts, taking any action without using my Check Partner. Heavens gate practiced the system called the czech partner system Check Partner would be assigned to you to make sure that you are following the rules. Carry up with the person youre least likely want to be with. And i didnt have a lot of rough street edges, so they gave me this really crazy, hyper speed freak. Street person guy that was like hard to be around. Major offenses. Lying to my teachers or any of my classmates , breaking any instruction or procedure knowingly. Sensuality permitting, arouse and thought or an action. Whats left, right . Right . Someone would think if i followed all these things, 100. Then i would be a robot. I didnt like what i saw because the rigidity and the was a turn off to me, i would never submit to anything. That was controlled. I dont anything that controls people. Thats why i became a hippie. I did not like control. And those two things. I just thought, thats you know. I dont want to be involved anymore. As people left the group for one reason or another got spun off the energy inside the group would actually increase because everybody really wants to be there, and youre getting rid of the people that have doubts. Questions kind of still too much into their own personal habits. Those people kind of fall to the wayside. Sunday nights. Were trying something a little different story. Startling is the sheer number of migrants on track. One whole hour worlds best journalists dig deeper is san francisco, a failed city into the stories they cant ignore. Godzilla get mad and go kill that thing. Go in depth every sunday night. If there are people willing to take risks. Then theyre gonna be people that left behind. The whole story with anderson. Cooper premieres next sunday at eight on cnn. Here we go. Remember mom as a kayak denier, so please dont bring it up. Bring water kayak. Excuse me. Do the research tied. Listen to me. 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Everyone interprets the truth at his own level of understanding. This is like alternate facts, right . This is very relevant to today. These people were very ahead of time. Yeah. Reality is not something you escape from. Reality is something you escaped to. So that means youre not really living in reality. What cults need to do is to turn you into a conformist, you know, to get you hopefully to become a true believer. They need to break down you and create a new you. When youre in the process of overcoming this vehicle, it loses its identity loses the consciousness of who it was. The deepest part of the indoctrination came when they were convinced that they were not human beings. They were convinced that they were actually these beings from the next level above and that they were essentially living inside these human shells, which they called vehicles. Well use the term of vehicle when we speak of this body that were wearing this flesh and bones. Because they dont relate to it. Its not me. Its just a suit of clothes that i bear any religious group has its own terminology. As you join the group. You have to learn the language. Its sort of an unofficial initiation process. They didnt explain it when they changed the terminology. But all these terms terminology changes also changed the way we thought about things so it didnt stimulate memories. One of the things that helps you and this is this was kind of adopted in a way and the catholic church. When nuns and monks that isolate themselves and thoughtful studying conditions. They take another name. It helps distance associate them with the family tree. Around 1977 members of heavens gate effectively became monks and nuns. They became monastics whatever they were selling bits. They were living exclusively for trying to achieve this sort of this entrance to the heaven to the next level, and they were given new names. The system that eventually was was used by t. Endo was to use a single syllable, effectively a first name and then a shared last name, which always ended in od. T. Endo said that the next level was adopting us. Into their family. So the family name was o d. Y if i were in the group, and my name was rob, i would be rather body. Three continents always capitalized rbb. And then o d y all the names were six letters. And so i became soyo tea. Hi dave od. Theres a load e g od even t v, you know the golden notice we call him tall od because hes a little taller than logo. T od is a diminutive certain means a little member and that followed your star od were little members of the Kingdom Of Heaven. Its like the diminutive for god, and theyre all on their way to becoming gods. And that when we became adults, and they would drop the y so wed be the family of odd. Which is like a little next level humor because we were kind of odd. They began wearing uniforms and they had a unisex look very short hair woman wore no makeup. They had Slacks Tenis Church that they wore button clear to the top long sleeved. If you had a look that you were attached to if youd worn a beard, you know, for years and years should get rid of all that and adopt a new appearance in the same way that she took a new name, because those were all things that symbolize your identity as a human. Before clear choice. Dental health was so bad i would be in a lot of pain wasnt able to eat. It was very hard. Kimberly came to clear choice with a bunch of missing teeth struggling with pain with dental disease. Clear choice dental implants solved her dental issues. I feel so much better feel energized to go outside and play with my daughter. I can eat anything like i dont have to worry. Clear choice changed my life. Yeah im jill and ive lost £56 on goal. Oh barry and ive lost £42. Jill and i were a team is she tells me to do something i usually jump on board was doable. Its realistic and its something we can do the rest of our lives. 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Lows knows the biggest savings are found in spring fest, so hurry up and get top deals on the top brands online and in store, you can make the most of the season on any budget backed by lows, price promise when the regular season ends, drama built playing tournament on tnt, four teams in each go to babble. Com and try it for free. This is cnn. The worlds news network. Members of heavens gate didnt see themselves as robotic or having to live with an oppressive system. They really saw themselves as living and enjoying it. Remember i talked to 11 x member who said actually, it was a the best part of my life was when i was with the class. I had the most had the greatest growth and i think they even used the word fun. Its not that i enjoy being the instrument of giving up these procedures. But these students love it. Theyve seen the value. It does not restrict them. Freeze them. But you have to have been there to know what were talking about. Otherwise you can easily doubt it. One thing you have to consider what we as individuals wanted to become. I think everyone in this class wanted something more than the Human World Head offer they were seeking some type of goodness, some type of rightness that they did not feel in this world. Im seeing people actually develop into what i always wanted to believe. Develop into ad. Its like i want to go out and put headlines on all the newspapers, saying its possible to overcome the humanist because im seeing it happen. Having that kind of discipline and struggling through it, and knowing that youre all struggling through it together creates a sense of family, which is part of what binds people to these groups. And when you think about years and years and years of that, um that thats what makes it so difficult for people to leave. This is the only world they know. So hard not to get choked up when you talk about this, but i met the people that are here. I met my teachers, tendo and i knew that i knew all of them and that they were my family. And, uh, ive been happy ever since. I mean, its been tough. Anybody whos been honest like she said, you get hit with everything but the kitchen. Same. Trying to turn your way, but its been wonderful. And making the decision that we made to do this. We know that we broke hearts. We know that we hurt people dont take that lightly. We didnt want to hurt anyone. Unfortunately its the individuals that these vehicles cared for the most. That are actually the greatest threat to us. Endo were almost paranoid, the extent that they were afraid they were being tracked by ex members, family members. One of the repercussions is they were constantly on the move. During the late seventies, they moved from campground to campground and campground. They never quit camping entirely. But in 1978, they finally had to move into houses. Apparently some members had inherited some money and one of the ex members who was close to bo and peep estimated that it was somewhere between 305 100,000. And at that point, they began renting mansions. My cousin david, his dad was the president of the new england fun company. And for the 1st seven years old, we lived off of his trust fund. They liked upscale suburban neighborhoods. Nice houses, big houses in quiet upper middle class areas. They would move people in and none of the neighbors would know. We would live 15 people in a house and there was designated people that could go outside. And the same people were seen outside all the time. So it appeared as though there was just a few People Living in a house. We didnt tell our currents, but we were doing baby. Just dad was well off lots of resources and connections. The fbi and even traveling country. Fbi agents looking for us. This is Marshall Herff Applewhites fbi report. Theres a letter from a concerned parent, which was sent to a congressman. Forwarded to the fbi. Um and the fbi. Beautifully responded and said, theres really not much we can do about this group through consenting adults. There wasnt worried about the government so much as family members, um, intervening. The magnetism of tea and does 19 year old David Nancy Browns son. I couldnt believe that he was really going off to do this, and i had to have some knowledge of why . I mean, after all, youve spent 18 years raising a child. He was now 19 and he said, you know, i cant ever picture myself just living a kind of life that most people take to be normal. He left and 75. This was now in 1980. Apparently some parents and people have tried hired private investigators and nobodys been able to find out anything about them. There was a formation of a Parents Network by the late seventies, led by a woman named nancy brown. So any time there was any news that the heavens gate members are part of heavens gate was in a certain location she would notify, folks. And this is a newsletter from from that network. There were many years. Friends. This is just what. As the years passed with no word from David Nancy Brown feared for his safety. Reached the Pit Of Despair when the jonestown news broken 79. I remember sitting there watching this horrifying sight of bodies scattered around the compound like crumpled leaves. It was just this little message in my heart all the time. Where is he . Is he all right . Is he alive . Will i ever see him again . Getting back to the newsletter. I dont even know what ill fuss is about that has been made out of nothing really. Because it isnt unusual for Sons And Daughters to leave home and do what they want to do. Thank all of your families are not with the network. You got any to it . Dont any of you who arent with them . Tell them about. 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The exact thing that can change the world. Some say its what they were born to do. Its what they live to do. Trinet serves small and medium sized businesses. So they can do more of what matters. Benefits. Payroll. Compliance. Trinet. People matter. Hidden subscriptions and you can cancel the ones you dont want with one tap joined rocket money today. Melanies nana in washington, and this is cnn. Just 74 75. My mom wrote me once a month. My mom did all the things that they werent allowed to do. But she never talked about the group. All she wants to do is talk about what i was doing my life. And um, i wanted to know what was going on, obviously in her life. We even talked to occasionally on the phone, but the thing that i didnt like what she mentioned that any time she called me her was on the other line. I received a letter on august 13th 1982. She said, terry, if you are with others, please do not let them know that who this is from specially that network woman, nancy brown, she is not to be trusted. I am well and safe as of now. Sure i have to be so secretive, but thats the way it is at this time. I just didnt know what that meant. Um are you trying to tell me something . Is something going on . He had been sick. One else hadnt six. Has she been diagnosed with cancer, and she was exhibiting on this. She had cancer grove. Yeah, i she had her eye removed a prosthetic pretty she never talked about. Never mentioned that never heard. About it. They went back to the hospital, and she had an examination. And they said that the cancer was in a liver and that she only had a short time to live and they couldnt do anything for her isnt really like two or three weeks from finding out to her parents. We were wrong. Devastated. Most of all. Oh, how could this happen . News wasnt supposed were all supposed to do graduate together. When i didnt hear from her for a while, i was going every single day looking for a letter from her. I came home from school one day and, uh, i got this phone call from members in the group. A couple named living dick, jocelyn. They want to come talk to me about my mom. When they showed up live, said something about my mom. Going to the doctor. Shes talked about my moms i and then she was having trouble with it, and, uh out of the blue. I just looked up at her and i said moms dad, isnt she and um, she said yes. At first. I mean, you know you have the first few seconds. Youre in denial, you know, and its just one of those rooms im having, or its just a reality. I just felt like somebody had ripped my skeleton out of me. You know, i just i just want to live. I was a total basket case. I mean, i was in shock. And i remember going to bed that night and, uh, when i woke up the next morning, my pillow was soaked. My hair was wet. My face was wet, had cried all night long. These are the Death Certificates and this is the first time i ever saw. When my mom died. She died June 19th 1985 i found out March 22nd 1986 9 months after the fact his last wishes were not tell terry about um. Her dad, but she was able to talk some during that time, too, so she could have called terry. But she didnt. I know terry has a hard time with that. I understand that. Im sorry for that. Im sure thats very painful. But tia was not the same person as her mother. The same vehicle. But another mind came into that vehicle. I wanted to know more about my mom. I tried to contact her of apple white. And uh, he wouldnt return any of my calls. He wouldnt respond to anything. I was constantly fighting to get answers. And then all of a sudden he sent me a audio cassette. And he talked about everything but what i wanted to hear. Terry, this is dough. Im a bit embarrassed and awkward about the fact that i didnt contact you when t. Left her vehicle or died. Or however you want to look at it. I was so torn between trying to comply with her wishes. I guess in honesty. I was so awkward that i might have been chicken and not just taking it into my hands and talking to you. This task and her mission. For the Kingdom Of Heaven was everything to her cheap felt that this was the only consistent way to even end her part of the task. I think if you think about that you can understand it and certainly dont grieve and thinking that she didnt want you to know because of lack of love for you or anything, because that certainly wasnt true. Im going to pray for your release from this suffering. Suffering isnt as been very great for me, and, uh, i want you to, uh. I know that i love you and i wish i could do more for you. It hurt me to hear the emotion in his voice. Because i understood it. But at the same time this was my mother. This was a friend to him. A spiritual partner or whatever you wanna call it. Its just not the same thing. I found out later that my mom lived in dallas, not far from where i was staying at the time. I had moved To Huntsville for college. I was four hours away. I should have been there when she was sick to hold her hand. To tell her. I loved her. Whatever i need to say. Yeah you took all that away from me. For you are able to happen. You and your dad or anybody else. Your family. Did you have a ceremony or anything . No nobody seemed to be interested. Like that, anyway. You having any closure . Well my doctor wanted me to see a psychiatrist because i was having to stop for a second. When you have Chronic Kidney Disease, there are places youd like to be. Like here and here and here. Not so much here. If youve been diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease for cigarette deuces, the risk of Kidney Failure which can lead to dialysis. Farcical can cause serious side effects, including dehydration, Urinary Tract or genital Yeast Infections in women and men and low blood sugar. 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Com Higher Closed Captioning brought to you by meso book. Com. We proudly help veterans with mesothelioma. Call for a free book 1 808 220400 go to Missouri Book dot com. Good morning, everyone we do begin with Breaking News this morning. His response was deep hurt break. Reef. And does it point where he he questioned. Whether he should continue. Class. Oh work house continue with the tour. He looked well, of course it was absolutely marvelous. Seeing him. Phone calls are nice letters are nice, but the actually. Just to see and hug him. Um and talk to him and spend it couple of days together was very, very important to me and to all of us. And these parents literally didnt know if their kids were dead or alive because they had not heard anything from them since 75. One woman i talked to described her son when he came back on mothers day. She said she was shocked because he was clean cut. He was polite. He was really helpful around the house called up, his old friends went out with them stuck around for two weeks, and then all of a sudden said, well, its time to go. I cant tell you where im going to go what im going to be doing and ill be back in touch again sometime and then. He damaged. Mm hmm. I think that t left when she did, because it was my time to assume the responsibility that yes, more difficult for me, but i hope that i can rise to the occasion for whatever time there is left for this task. If they were really these other beings that werent werent really in this body. Um this body had nothing to do with them. Why then did she die . Very human death of cancer. So this is one of the snafus that that dough had to deal with. That was a very tough one. For me. Because he and i thought that we just knew it seemed that we would both be here for the full duration of the task, and it didnt occur to us that one. Might leave prior to the other one. Leaving one of the most powerful forces in religion suddenly reared its head there. Thats what we call cognitive dissonance, the moment in which an event occurs that seems to undermine your very theology. Youre very doctrine. The basic idea of heavens gate up to that moment was that you would chemically and biologically transform your body from being a human being into becoming a next level alien. And then you would physically get on board the ufo which would sail off into heaven. What happens when Bonnie Lou Nettles when t dies, vehicle broke down and humans would say was the vehicle died. And so how can you say she left her vehicle . The explanation which is given to members is that it looked to us like she was suffering from cancer. But in fact her next level of consciousness burnt up her human body. Cognitive dissonance comes in your faith system shifts. To make room for the event tested me tested the class and were all 10 ft. Taller. Because of it. There is a parallel here with jesus and the jesus movement. Jesus followers believed that jesus was the messiah, according to the jewish definition of the messiah. But there was a huge problem. A dead messiah is, by definition no longer the messiah. And so christianity didnt just go away. They fundamentally redefine. What messiah means. Messiah is not an earthly king. Its a heavenly king. The kingdom that the messiah creates isnt on this world. Its on the next world understand that no one had ever said these things before and for heavens gate. That big shift would be the idea that if it happened to her, it might happen to others as well. These thinking was if thats what you have in mind for me, and if thats what you have in mind for dough. And for the class, then thats thats what we want. When nettles dies, it undermines the entire point of the bodily transformation. And now its a spiritual transformation. Were going to leave our bodies behind. So in a strange way, the tragedy of heavens gay the suicide of all those people. Is a direct result. Of the unexpected death. Of one of the co founders. What it meant to me. Even though it still breaks my heart. To recall the experience. It very swiftly. And very solidly. Put me on firmer ground. In relationship to my heavenly father. It put me in a better relationship with t. Then i had before she left her vehicle. I know this tea is still to this day. My primary, if not my total link with our heavenly father. During her lifetime. She is called the older member. He deferred to her and dough also said that his connection to the next level went through t after her death. Dough looks to her. As still guiding him. But now from outer space is my older member. T is my heavenly father. And in fact , its no more than a decade after her death that dope publicly declares himself jesus returned to earth and declares that t was the one notice god. The father. Even though she was raised as a baptist, bonnie was involved in metaphysical teaching. Shes involved in new age ideas. All of this stuff that must have just driven dough crazy. Because Marshall Herff Applewhite sr was a very prominent Presbyterian Minister , and by all accounts, her really wanted to emulate him and become a minister, just like he had done and if you read the heavens gate book came out much later does like really harsh on the new age and new age is like thats one of the big ways that lucifer is trying to get his hooks and humans. After t dies, the message becomes much more biblical, moving away from tys ideas to more does thinking. We see the world. We see the world as the anti truth the antichrist. The world will see us as anti truth. Anti christ. We know that that is inevitable. These must have cost a fortune. Nope it was actually less than we expected. Old floors at home. Love your floors. 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T gave us instructions before she died, of course to make our commitment to dough. He trusted no 100. Came to a meeting maybe the second or third or Fourth Meeting after tea left. And uh, he said, theres Something Different about me. I want to play a little game. Dont called everybody together one day and says, well, ive got a little test for you. If you had 100 that you can spend for something for yourself. What would you buy . Apparently it just drove everybody absolutely bonkers. Here theyve been in the process of giving everything up. They have no personal possessions and all. And all of a sudden 100 to buy something only for yourself. What would it be . When you become a candidate. For our fathers kingdom. Our father then says, im a jealous god. For a period of time. You might have thought you loved me more than you loved those other things. But if youre going to get into my house, you have to love only me. What it was. The answer was very simple. Gold band cheap 100 gold ban a wedding ring. In one sign. I knew it once you needed me. Mm doesnt have bonnie as a Support System anymore, so the class itself becomes his Support System. No even more obsessed with control. She passed on. She had a little ceremony to where we were marrying him. Needs me needs me needs me needs me. He needs me. The instruction was to come up one by one, when i got to be the one to talk to him. He was sweating confers. Now i can see the sweat on the brow and he kissed me on the forehead. And he was weeping. Couldnt diamond dance. Ill take a chance. Was he needs . He was giving birth. Its because hes so alone. In birthing, maybe students into the next level home. He needs me. He needs me. Needs me needs me. Up until this point, the focus was on the message or the process of overcoming. But what happens with this Marriage Ceremony is now the loyalty is shifting from the message to the messenger. That is why were after that when you see people in the group that says picture that shows their hands, theyll have wedding rooms. Aw, it is a question that will not go away. What kind of messenger could convince 38 followers to commit suicide alongside of him . Joe was a wonderful person. He was very helpful, very good teacher. And we had a lot of reverence for him. Heres the problem. Once peoples lives are conformed to predictable patterns through peer pressure, and you saw the people that were dressed the same way the support of the same kinds of haircuts. Virtually anything is possible. Tn dough never were out to con anybody. If they can anybody they can themselves first. Let me start with you. Do you believe this was suicide or murder . I believe it was murder. You dont know. Only just one of your reddit are done on me. I cant go with. What to say. Done. Ll