i mean, she was always double checking and making sure that everyone was doing the right thing. so i remember she would record every show that she did and she would watch it and critique herself. and she was constantly trying to be better. when i found out it was dawn, i was shocked. that could have been me. i could have been the spotter. what if i was there and i could have saved her? you know, all these things go through your mind. >> john sillick was the guy who in 1987 was crushed between two whales at seaworld of san diego. now even though i had been working at seaworld for six months, i had no idea that had even happened. i never heard the story. and the seaworld party line would say it was a trainer error. >> it was john's fault.