>> anthony: there were a lot of freakish, never could've happened at any other times, it seems to me, bands who had a readymade audience. okay, and you did the same. you can basically say, "i am a rock star." >> lydia: well hey, hey, hey. no, no, no. first of all i never said i was a [ bleep ] star. >> anthony: no, but i mean but not by word, but by deed and deportment. >> lydia: i didn't walk into any place thinking i'm a star, i walked in thinking, "i got shit to do." i wouldn't say i was a catalyst. i'd say i was a cattle prod -- to get people to do shows, booking shows, curating shows. it's just what i do. it's like, "let's go, let's do it." and when people would ask me to do things i'd be like, "yeah i want to do it, of course." people were -- beautiful -- doing things because they had to do it, not because of any other grand idea. >> anthony: so what made you happy back then? i mean, did you have any happy moments? >> lydia: happiness was not the goal, satisfaction was the goal. as it still is. my anger is on a global level, it's never on a personal level. i'm very happy. i'm happy to have octopus with