looked outside my kitchen window and i took a mental snapshot of ben standing there smiling. that was the last time i saw him smile. almost immediately after that, jake came running in the back door and he said, mom, it's ben. i yelled at shawn to come outside, and we started doing cpr right away. shawn and i felt really alone in those moments. and i, again, just thought, all right, if this is the time, god, you can take care of him. >> i knew that he had passed away, but i didn't believe it until i heard it from my parents at the hospital. >> we had to deal with the