when they -- then, when they brought his body out, i -- i, i hugged him for all it was worth and the coroner tried to move me away and i'm just like -- i will be done when i am done. i'm hugging my son until i'm finished. we were really -- it was an amazing blessing to us that they were -- we were able to -- we were able to use a beanie and we were able to have an open casket and viewing for those in our family. that was a treasure. >> it was a closure for us. >> it sounds weird but -- >> no, it doesn't. >> it was a treasure to be able to see him and touch him and hold him again. >> there are more suicides annually in america now than there are from auto accidents. one every 13.7 minutes, even while we've been doing this interview, somebody else has committed suicide in america.