Comedy central from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much welcome, everybody, welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you for tuning in. Our guest tonight, maker of some of the funniest comedies around, judd apatow is here with us. First, real quick, do you guys remember nigel farage, trumps b. S. S. , and the antiimglant politician against brexit, the guy who looks like a muppet and smokes . That guy . Well dont worry about him. Just watch the kid. Her majesty, its time to knight mr. Farage. If you would like to kneel there. Dont hurt me. Well, thank you. You are now sir nigel farage. Thank you very much. Im honored. My mommy said you hate foreigners. No, no, listen, girl, no, no, no. Youre not supposed to say that. Thats very naughty. Trevor no, no, no, no, no i dont normally like kids, but that one can stay. That one can stay. How did they find the only fiveyearold with a hard opinion on immigration . And look at her, shes all cute being so royal. The only difference between her and the queen is the keen keeps it inside. But thats not what the queen is thinking inside asshole. We should get that girl to come to america to speak with trump. Coming out of that new immigration order President Trump signed yesterday. The new 90day ban includes six muslimmajority companies. Iraq is off the list. Green card holders are exempt. Religious minorities are exempt. Trevor damn, donnality, back at it again with the travel plan. Look, its pretty much the same ban, right. But this time, trump just cleaned it up, you know. He took it to kinkos. Put some nice binding on it. Signed it with ink instead of blood. Its pretty much the same thing trump did with his speech last week. Same madness, just toned down. The biggest change, really, is that this revised ban doesnt include iraq. And the story behind this i find hilarious because iraqis have been helping u. S. Troops fight isis. And when the original ban came out, those iraqis were not happy because they had been promised that they could come to america. You can imagine in the middle of a mission, the troops were trying to get information, you know, and they were like, hey, iraqi gay what is the prisoner saying . And it was like, beep, beep. First you tell me what is your guy saying. I get New York Times alerts, buddy laughter its all madness. But polite bad madness but still the same. Speaking of polite madness, last week ben carson was confirmed as secretary of housing and urban development or as President Trump calls him, the secretary of blacks. Now, as is custom aircraft secretary gave his First Official speech to lay out his vision, and you know normally a ben carson speech is a bed time story in a suit, but after this speech, everybody was woke. A sharp reaction to ben carsons remarks. The housing secretary under fire for comparing slaver tow immigration. Thats what america is about. A land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even long eeven harder for less. Trevor thats one way to describe slavery. It makes them sound like they work at walmart. laughter , the problem with slavery wasnt that they were underpaid. Its that they werent paid. Its not like they got to the interview were and like, all right, now lets talk to bmy salary. And the guy was lining, oooh no one told you about that . Im not getting paid . Im leaving. Oh, no one told buthat part, either. Look, i love ben carson, but calling slaves immigrants is like saying, its not kidnapping. That person just got a free vacation in a basement so, obviously, everyone jumped on ben carson for this, and like a surgeon who forgot his sponge in someones stomach, last night, ben carson went back in. Slaves came here as involuntary immigrants. If you come from outside to inside, youre an immigrant. I think people need to actually look up the word immigrant. Trevor okay, ben carson. Challenge accepted. Lets look up the word immigrant. laughter applause cheers siri, as a slav is a slave an i no. Trevor look, the dictionary defines immigrant as a person who comes to a country to take up permanent residence. A person. Firstly, slaves werent considered people. They were considered property. Secondly, they didnt come to america. They were brought here by force. Eddie murphy came to america. laughter kunta kenta was brought. Big difference, people, big difference i get where ben carson is coming from. He grew up in the ghetto, and against all odds he went on to become one of the most respected Brain Surgeons of all time and then joined trump and surgically separated himself from his reputation. He believes you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Its seductive to believe African American can take part in the story. President obama said something similar in tbept 15. Certainly, it wasnt even for those of African Heritage who had not come here voluntarily, and yet, in their own way, were immigrants themselves. Trevor you could tell before he said that part he was thinking, damn, my speechwriter bleep up. laughter but, still, he said it. And the truth is, it doesnt matter who says it. Slaves werent immigrants because an immigrant has choice. They choose the country theyre going to because they hope it will bring them a better life. Saying that sliefs are Just Another Group of immigrants eraises how black people are uniquely oppressed in america, and justifies African Americans for their hardships. You cant ignore the deficit. Its like judging white people for bad twerking without acknowledging their asses are historically disadvantaged, people. We have to acknowledge the stain. cheers and applause look, everyone has to admit African Americans werent originally part of the american dream. And no one should deny that. Sto have a future together doesnt require us to pretend that our pasts are the same. I mean, look at beauty the beast. Shes a french peasant, and hes a lesshairy steve ban orange but theyre going to make it work. Theyre going to make it work. I will say this as much as i disagree with ben carsons philosophy on this, you must admit, it must be a wonderful way to see the world. I wish ben carson made a slave movie. I mean, why wish. We made it ourselves. From a hardscrabble village in africa, he came to america with only shackles and a dream. But he got a whole lot more than he bargained for. From the revisionary mind of consider ben carson, comes the voluntary journey of one mans selfdiscovery. I will not fall into despair because sometimes you dont get to choose your own adventure. The adventure chooses you. 12 years a new gief gooi in town. Trevor its just not the same. Well be right back. cheers and applause an unlimited data plan is only as good as the network its on. And verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. man hey, uh, whats rootmetrics . Its the nations largest independent study and it ranked verizon 1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. woman do they get a trophy . Not that i know of. But you get unlimited done right. man 2 why dont they get a trophy . man 3 they should get something. woman 2 how about a plaque . I have to drop this. My arms getting really tired. Unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. Modejane, yourerves getting a ticket. Pay. Online and on your phone nope. Its been masterpassed. For the little victories, am i right . Masterpass, the secure way to pay from your bank dont just buy it, masterpass it. sfx fan singer okay sfx chip crunch yeah sfx chip crunch hahahah. sfx knives hitting board honoo, honoo, honoo translation flame, flame, flame sfx crunch too bad woooaaa sfx tiger roar sfx slap sound sfx punch sound sfx crunch sound trevor welcome back to the daily show. When a story falls through the cracks, we do a segment we call back in black. Back in my day, getting around town was a pain in the ass. But now, you just press a button on a phone, and suddenly youre in a Dodge Caravan with tiny bottles of water too small to quench your thirst, but just big enough to ruin the environment. laughter im talking about uber. The 68 billion company that is revolutionized the car service industry, but it turns out some of their employees may have trouble keeping their hands at 10 00 and 2 00. Uber is also facing claims of Sexual Harassment. A former uber engineer, susan fowler, outlining her time at the company. My new manager sent me a string of messages over a company chat. It was clear he was trying to get me to have sex with him. Fowler says fellow women engineers told her they had experiencedly the same problem with the same supervisor. Surprise, surprise someone who works with computers in a creep around women and the only thing worse was the way the Company Reportedly handled it. Fowler says she immediately took descreen shots of the chat messages and reported him to uber resources. She says upper management called her manager a High Performer and they wouldnt feel comfortable punishing him because it was this mans first offense. Did feel comfortable about punishing him . God forbid Sexual Harassment makes upper management feel uncomfortable. I havent been this disgusted by something car related since i walked in on herbie taking a dump. laughter but its no surprise that uber didnt respond to these claims faster. It always takes these guys twice the time they say it will. I dont trust that little car icon. First its over here. Then its over there. And now its back there again tonight toy with me im late for pilates. But this type of mismanagement makes sense. Uber has been playing by their own rules for years. More trouble for uber this morning, this time accusations it is evading authorities with its technology. The New York Times reports a tool called greyball uses data from the uber app to circumvent officials. First off, greyball . Thanks for stealing my stripper name laughter so uber dismissed Sexual Harassment claims, and evaded Law Enforcement officials . Who the hell is running this thing. An uber driver got into an argument with a passenger who happened to be ubers kec. At the end of the ride, he also gets an earful from the driver. Kamel tells kalanick drastic cuts in uber rates hurt him. You keep changing every day. Hold on a second. What have i changed about black . You changed the whole business. What . What . You dropped the prices. On black . Yes, you did. It was 20. It started with 20. How much is the mile now . 2. 75. Some people dont like to take responsibility for their own actions. So the c. E. O. Of youre, who is a billionaire, on his broke employee for wanting 20 cents more per mile. Hes riding in each uber individually to tell them theyre not getting a raise. Thats thats a dip bleep who goes the extra mile. cheers and applause and by the way, youre the c. E. O. Of a 70 billion company. Why are you riding in the bitch seat . Now, in light of ubers bad publicity, a lot of people have taken to deleting the app. Thats why ive decided to offer an alternative. Introducing lewber. Were not just about convenience. We also promise you a nice, relaxing ride. Do you need an iphone charger . I guess im not just a cab. Im a bleep apple store trevor. Trevor i think he just found your first customer. Lewis black, everybody. Well be right back. Weve always been dreamers. Weve been a symbol of the future. A standard. A star. But our past is just that, past. What lies ahead is in our hands. We are pioneers. Making cars that push the limits of imagination. Cars you can drive without your hands. Cars built for tomorrow. So, our greatest achievements cant lay behind us. Because our destiny lies ahead. Thats what it means to drive the world forward. Thats what it means to dare. People spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. Gentle, nonhabit forming advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. Is microsoyeah, it is. He ipad . Just head to the app store and download it. Now, you have microsoft word on your ipad pro and it works with apple pencil. Word . Word. Word yeah, word. Wooooorrrddd. Get up. And get down at cricket wireless. Where plans start at only 30 month. And more 4g lte coverage than tmobile or sprint. Plus, when you switch now you can get a brand new smartphone for free. Cricket wireless. Something to smile about. The only thing that i was missing was on that cheek that i was kissing. We do it cause it feels right. We do it cause it feels right. We do it cause it feels right. Clearasil rapid action begins working fast for clearly visible results in as little as 12 hours. Wow but what other teen problems can it fix fast . Maybe it can quickly give this teen a thicker mustache . Doesnt look like it. Will clearasil act fast to help this teen concentrate on his math test . Darn. Can it help. Nope. No. So lets be clear clearasil works fast on teen acne, not so much on other teen things. Affordable. Visit gcu. Edu trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is a writer, director, producer, comedian and the cocreator of the Netflix Series love. How often do you think that happens, like, really happens . Women marrying old men for money . Yeah. Every 15 seconds. No you think that jerry hall married Rupert Murdoch because she loves him . Yeah. I believe she loves him. Hes living on borrowed time, and she knows it. Hes a cool guy. Uhhuh. Hes, like, smart, charming, witty. Okay, youre making a proRupert Murdoch argument right now. If Rupert Murdoch didnt exist there wouldnt the simpsons. Im willing to live with that. Trevor please welcome judd apatow. cheers and applause thank you sir. Trevor welcome to the show. Its great to be here. Trevor good to see you again. How has life been treating you, well . No problems at all in the world. Im enjoying it all. I was thinking of moving to south africa. Trevor you were . Yes, where should i move . Which section . Trevor we have a lot of fun. Its totally different from america. Even though the president is involved in corruption and his family makes money from the country and he had Sexual Assault charges against him, but, yeah, totally different. You should come visit some time. I will, i will. Trevor lets talk about the show love. Cocreated the series. Are you making a lot of shows right now, and theyre all very funny shows working with a lot of young people. What is love about in a nutshell. Well, lot is you have seen it . There are no ratings. Nept flix doesnt tell you if anyone is watching. Trevor dont you think thats better. On who level i like it because im not nervous. On another level its weird because i have to ask audiences. In my head im like were as big as the last episode of mash. Trevor do you walk around, are you watching love . People are watching love. Its a romantic comedy, and people binge it, which is weird because when i make a movie people get mad if its long. If i make a movie thats two hours and three minutes people freak out, this is 40 minutes too long. But then theyll watch 11 hours of young pope in a row. Trevor you know why . As people we believe like, you give us the choice. Like, if you gave us your movie in snippets he would watch the whole thing and not complain. People want to pee. They of want to watch two episodes, pee, three, have sex with their wives, and go back with you. My wife say crazy binger. But shell binge a show that was, like, 11 years and she wont watch any show but that show until she finish the binge. Shell be like,i think im going to binge greys anatomi. Trevor is this what life is like inside a comedians household . I feel like theyre telling jokes all the time. My daughter, if i try any joke on her, shes like, are you going to do that . And then she gets mad at me, dad, all those things you think are fun renot funny, so could you not say them. Trevor thats what makes a good comedian. You need a Family Member to reign you in. In love its about a young couple struggling to make things work. One works in radio, the other work as a tutor. What i found interesting in love and this is something people criticize you for. They go, why do you always have geeky guys getting beautiful women . People are like, that is not realistic judd . Why do you do that . Well, my wife married me, so it happened once. We got one i feel like all women are kind of pretty and all guys are kind of ugly. laughter if i look at your crowd cheers i mean, that makes sense trevor i remember the biggest backlash was seth rogue an and Catherine Heigl. And people are like why would seth rogan be with Catherine Heigl . Was that realistic. Seth would get mad at me. Oh, yeah, its so unrealistic that heigl would go up on the with me that you couldnt make a movie out of it. Trevor thats a pretty good seth rogan by the way. Thats a pretty good seth rogan. Lets talk about whats going on now, because in between make films and tv shows, you are also a standup comedian. I dont know where you find the time to be doing this stuff, but you do it nonetheless. With everything that you are seeing right now, like, what is what is the craziest part everyone i talk to goes like,this is what i think the craziest part about trump is. Do you have a unique thing that you look at and go, is this it for me . The thing i think is weird is that republicans try to convince people that rich people want people who arent rich to be rich. I dont think rich people want other people to be rich. I think they want to be the only rich people. Its not fun if everybody is rich. Its like if you have a big bleep , you dont walk around going, i wish everybody had a big bleep like this. The world would be better. You want everyone to have a small one so youre the king. Right . laughter if everyone had a big one, theyd awbl the same size. Then it wouldnt even be big. It would be regular. laughter trevor i just pictured now, republicans in concerning like, riding bulls and using that as an analogy because they would. We just want americans to have a big bleep . Every single american out there to have a big bleep . Its like the lie from rich people, give us more money and well create jobs. But rich people dont want to create jobs. I have eight employees. I wish it could be one weird dude, okay. No one wants to create jobs. People want robots because youll work 24 hours a a day. You can sexually harass them. You can grab their robot pussy. Trevor for now, robot rights are coming up. You can do that for now. Let me ask you this, as a rich person because you have made a lot of money shouldnt you be a republican . Wouldnt you want your taxes cut . You want more money so you can buy things . I dont think theres anything to buy. I feel like once you have a house and you can pay for your kids to go to school, theres nothing really to get. When i first made some money from the 40yearold virgin i lease aid porsche. It was a threeyear lease, and i got it. Im like,i deserve a porsche. I make people happy. And i took it on the road and it drove like crap unless youre driving worn 45 miles per hour. So i got scared of it and left it in the driveway for three years because i realized money doesnt make you happy. Its free things that make you happy. Things that are free make you happy. You ever been driving and someone is right up on your butt and tailgating you, so you slow down, you kind of block them in so they cant get by you. That was better than having the porsche. laughter applause . Trevor love premieres march 10 and judd will be performing live april 21. Performing live april 21. Arntiojudd apat nobody does unlimited like tmobile. While the other guys gouge for unlimited data. Tmobile one save you hundreds a year. Right now get two lines of data for 100 dollars. With taxes and fees included. Thats right 2 unlimited lines for just 100 bucks. All in. And right now, pair up those two lines with two free Samsung Galaxy s7 when you switch. Yup free. So switch and save hundreds when you go all unlimited with tmobile. Hes got the cash. Hes got a condo. Hes got a car. Hes got a career. But that still doesnt mean he gets you. Time to shine. Orbit. And you have to run to the printer before anyone else does. Dont print. With ipad pro and apple pencil, you can just sign and send off that secret new job offer. What new job . im not looking for a new job im very happy here will the all new kfc georgia gold chicken with its great tasting Honey Mustard barbeque sauce make you rich and successful . [thud] i dont know. Its Finger Lickin gold classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. cheers and applause . Trevor thats it for tonights show. Student for midnight which is coming up next. Here it is, your moment of zen. You come from the outside to inside, youre an immigrant. Slaves came here as involuntary immigrants. Eddie, eddie, eddie. What are we doing going to do . Occupado unlock the door this is management hold on, man im almost done if im not, youre not. Oh come here. Oh, right. [ water running ] what the hell was that . it depends. Is it still management . [ pounding on door ] alarms wheres the car . Itll be here in three. Uh, four minutes. Are you kidding me . No, looks like he took a wrong turn. Dont worry, this guys got like a fourstar rating, were good. His name is randy. Thats like one of the most trustworthy names ordering a getaway car with an app . Are you randy . Thats me awesome surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money erin saved by switching to geico. Everybody comfortable with the air temp . I could go a little cooler