late for robert. he was a really kindhearted person. he struggled through lockdown. two weeks afterjoanne asked for support, he took his own life. the day he killed himself, i had a phone call from the mental health team, says, "can i speak to robert ryan?" "well, he's not here no more." they went, "what do you mean?" i said to them, "i've just found him dead." i said, "you're a bit late, aren't you?" what did they say? "i'm so sorry to hear that, i wish i could have got back sooner. " and it feels like it's my fault, because i didn't get the help... it's not your fault. ..quick enough for him. and now she can't forget. and i can see the flashbacks in my head all the time. it's like, it's always reminding me, i can see him every day in my head, when i get up, when i go