then there could well be grounds for admitting in order to prevent him actually from completing suicide. in spring 2020, covid restrictions gripped most of the globe. sean had moved to his grandfather's farm outside newry to try and get clean. but his mum was alarmed to find he had continued to self harm. my daddy was there. he was dying to feed the cattle. and i said, we're showing. and he says, i haven't seen sean and i'm here an hour. well, i had this awful feeling and i went into the house and i went up the stairs and i went over to her. the room was that he was standing and i knocked the door and he answered, i think, relief. oh, thank god. i'll never forget that. oh, thank god. and then i was sort of getting angry.