i have had a few, but since retiring in 2009, it has been my realjoy, being able to turn up and talk cricket on the radio and hopefully i will be able to do that in the future. do you think you can rebuild your reputation? yes, i do. is it a long road? it will take time, but i'm sure people will see the true me. michael, you said you wanted to sit down with azeem rafiq and hear his story. what would be your message to him if he was watching this now? i am sorry for the hurt he has gone through. yorkshire county cricket club, i believe, is me, it has been my life, whether i am a player or not i am a senior former player, the captain. once you have played for yorkshire, you are always a yorkshire player and i'm sorry for the hurt he has gone through.