On the end of a life that he loved so really was forced to search for something new a new kind of sense a path a sense of self which he did I mean he's doing some great work as you will hear this hour in about 15 or 20 minutes from now it's a really moving story a powerful story Stewart story coming up my after 11 ghastly on The Late Show set in just a while before that mystery voice night to see how we get on tonight. Good good or bad on b.b.c. Radio show. Log the good music continuing now here's Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson up for us this hour up the best things in life are free . To. Keep. Track. To. Us. Like. That. Long ago and. Trying to. Keep. Us guys. Oh yes the best things in life are free and now from now there are going to be some absolutely beautiful love songs playing on radio if you like one of our midnight love songs tonight for yourself you'd like to dedicate it to somebody for what's have a very nice in them please do get in touch one triple 3 is a text number start text message with the letters g t and then go for it tell me who you are who you'd like a song played for and if there's a reason tell me what the reason is here is some of the love songs coming up like. A savage go through my life in the. Most about 2 young women I draw on every time you go on what. I hear will start a nice midnight love song. When it takes it. And he let me take it but I'm sure. That we all as as well send me a text message get in touch with your love song dedications. Jackie Wilson I'm going to play now I get the sweetest feeling and then we'll see how you get on with Mr voice tonight. Good. News. Just meeting Jackie Wilson and it's going here hello I'm in for Graham with you until 1 am you're listening to Wednesday's like we're 9th 2 with mystery voice clip yesterday Well clearly it was quite a difficult feel to choose daily it's how you get on with same clip tonight here it is you think the better town. Any idea whose voice is thank the better town Jeff's got in touch with us tonight Jeff and tell Hill Hello hello good evening Yeah even to you Jeff how's it going. Just going to be. A Harley I don't think it's going to be Roy So I don't give. Sarah Lancashire she went on correction straight Oh Ok several you say. That's not the right answer I'm right and you said it wasn't going to be right and you were right there on what right but never Thanks Robin a guy Jeff nice nice hearing from e.j. Is jump on the line and John John. How you were just spoken we've just spoken. Lancaster Oh well not just if. That Jordan I'm so used to I'm speaking to right now and Ok that's John John from culture but passing through on the m 6 is that you. Got the right bus the Dow was right. And I just told you that you're wrong but thanks again. John I was hoping to also speak to Jeff but he's gone now Jeff I think we got your answer in the end. Those are the only 2 The got in touch in correct so Mr voice is going to now roll over tonight 3 here it is let's see if something comes to you I have a night's maybe in a dream to get in touch with us tomorrow can you think better tell if you know who that mystery voice belongs to can you think better tell. The scene. Right now this will go better half of me. And you know. Me. Don't. Call me. To be. Told it. Told. Me I'm still. Here I'm just waiting for the final to say these words face to face. Both call them just. At it to be. Told a. Whole. Battle. More a half of me 19 minutes past 11 Wednesday night you're all right it's gotten here in for Graham. From a after 11 guest to his story about going to Afghanistan and then suffering this horrific injury his rehabilitation and you hear about the great work he does now Stuart story coming up in just a bit before that uprising well right now this is called freedom. Yes coming up very very. Late to get into. If you like a dedication today on text 3 is a text number message with the letters g.-t. I does g.g. Here tonight I'm going in for crying with the it's a 1 am story coming your way in just a few minutes to. Get . I'm. In. A very good evening this is the late charge now my after 11 guests life changed forever the moment the shrapnel exploded into his brain it happened in Afghanistan left tenant Colonel Stuart Hill suffered a severe traumatic brain injury 3 years later he was medically discharged from the Army after 18 years of service and that brought the end a life that he loved. Forced to search for a new sense of self as you're about to hear he found rehabilitation and a new joy for living still but from dogs and joins me on The Late Show right now still a very good evening good evening to you Howie very well indeed thanks to you and how you yeah I'm all right I'm good thank you wonderful such instruction that I just said that your army service was a life that you loved Tell me about your army life and why you loved it so much Ok I mean to say I joined join the army and when was that thing of about 21994 I went to the Royal Military Academy scientist. Enjoy my local infantry battalion which was there all regiment so well so I moved to Pembrokeshire in West wells when I was about 12 and grew up there and say I want to join my local regiment. So Sandhurst and then I then I was in the army shutouts in Northern Ireland during the cease fire so things were fairly calm and then I had supposed that the operational top to Bosnia to Kosovo to tours to Afghanistan and what I love I just love being I love soldiering I love being with soldiers I love I love the repast ness of it the French the. The challenge the Purell essence of what leadership is because actually trying if you do have to go to war inspiring individuals to fight. At any level requires pure leadership. And that's an aspect I just loved and actually what the Army is very very good at is helping people achieve their potential and to see young soldiers joined from a lot of them from very dysfunctional families and backgrounds with no education and from quite a few you know little chance in life and actually the army you could call it a family but it gives them a really good structure. And it's all about improving the individual and any history in the family of military life where there are human women that was in the army he was in the infantry he wasn't he didn't go in as an officer he went in as a soldier many joined his local one which was. The queen's regiment of the time I think it's now called the Princess of Wales his role regiments p.w.r. So I grew up as an Army brat and I grew up so I moved around every couple of years and that was a big adventure because what was very good about that as being within the military family is because in most locations this of the 6 secure environment. Parents let you out the door and just. Do whatever just be back at a certain time and also lay off well because you were completely secure so you just as a cage you just went wild playing in woods and understanding things and you know there was no real threat from anyone or potential threat. Right so very much a military background and and years pass your career progress is and then. That day I don't mind if I. Was 820092009 is the 4th of July 2009 says my 2nd tall with the company 2 minutes in so I had this time I was with a different unit one which is which they recruits heavily around the Midlands sort of wish to share as well Darshan also share really sort of things 2nd top to Afghan we've been out there for 3 months we've been involved in a lot of heavy fighting down in a place called Garmsir which is the southernmost position of Helmand Province temperatures in Afghanistan in the summer so this is July reached would exceed 50 degrees centigrade in a hole in the hottest places in the world where because we're expected to be fighting for least 10 days so we're living you know off the ground and carrying whatever we need with us and so the average weight that we were carrying was 55 kilograms which is a and a half stone. We had to we had to clear the Syria area which was which is considered to be a sort of main that just the cob for the for the Taliban in this particular area so we were expecting to encounter about 350 insurgents fighters there I had about 160 people in my company and attachments from the Navy Afghan national army as well. We were expected hope that we would keep clearing about 3 kilometers a day. For about 6 hours we'd only cleared about 300 meters because the enemy were putting up a fight. And it was slow and it was hard work suddenly there's ruction are seen gunfire several loud explosions right you could hear rocket propelled grenades of being fired and then almost immediately I head over the radio after these explosions sort of stopped. In my right ear piece from 27 year old left handed guy Disney he said trying to remain very calm and saying contact casualties I need to Halle I think I've lost my leg. And basically an r.p.g. Round which is that which is just sort of molten slug Pallywood travels through the air at 250 miles an hour one of these penetrated his vehicle went straight through his right leg and took it off below the knee. And then what he didn't know at that time is the round then went straight through him and embedded itself in the chest of a 19 year old Private rugby laws and killed him instantly. And. His family used to live bronze grove that was hard to listen to and then must focus had to be on that the extraction of these casualties but also defending our area making sure that the enemy weren't going to try and continue to penetrate taught or to disturb us all fight so called in some helicopters a Chinook helicopter arrived and took my dead and injured soldiers away. And I by Watch a helicopter fly away and. And I remember my stomach Tyson and start to feel very hungry for some reason. And I just remember thinking of someone in a suit and tie who. Who in a few hours time from where I was would be knocking on the door of the next of kin and telling them that their son had just been or husband or whatever just being killed. Very seriously injured. I went to talk to a company saw major pull Michael and as we're doing that Lance called Dennis Hawk spy he's attached to me from like against he stands an idea improvised explosive device that we haven't been able to detect with cleared the area with metal detectors but by that time the Taliban the enemy we using no metal content i.e.d. Initiation charges. So actually we couldn't detect it anyway with equipment we had last call down and stood on this stood on the side which killed him. The shockwave smashed through both my age on the sand both of those and shrapnel then smashed through the back of my brain through my cerebellum to pieces stopping a millimeter away from a brain stem and they're still in there is too dangerous to take the mounts and then I was also thrown knocked unconscious and apparently found with my radio antenna and bedded in the back of my skull from the force of the blast it just had a radio on my back and it just smashed the entire into my brain I was expected to live and and actually a few hours after that my wife was receiving a knock on her door and being told that your husband Stuart has just suffered a very serious head injury and we don't think he's going to survive. So I was in hospital I think for about 5 maybe 6 weeks and then say once a conference I was in and just kind of came out of that and I was very confused you know part of my brain was still thought I was in Afghanistan the couldn't quite understand why I'm in this bed which I actually I thought was a prison. And I thought I had been. By the Taliban was screaming and shouting and you know crying and. Accusing everyone the nice it is for example every time he came in or the doctor I thought they were Taliban coming to. Torture me or whatever it was and so it was it was in trusting period I suppose for my family I say that I say I can say that glibly and lightly but I know that I went through a horrible time horrible that. My wife has to remind me of that every now and again when I just simplify what happened I came out of injuries came out there's horrendous time for my wife say but she said you know she spoke to me and and I asked how Robbie laws was who's a guy soldier who'd just been killed. And my wife would tell me that he had been killed and Robie was dead and I would start crying and then she said I would have to console you for the duration of a visit and then go away she said out then come back at that you know for the 2nd visit on the day and you had all 6 actually same questions short term memory is gone and I kept forgetting and so she said I had to relive that twice a day every day for about 5 days. But what is interesting though is so I find interesting is I was able to remember Robbie my love and crying for him but at the same time Melissa said it was bizarre because you thought it was the year 2001 and you thought you were living in which we were living in Cardiff at the time. And you were just completely confused but actually there was still part of you somewhere which had love for your soldiers. Even though you thought you were in a completely different world in effect. That's what I'm very proud of actually is. That inherent I suppose love for for my soldiering and soldiers and that's what I actually yeah that's what I loved about the army being with soldiers is fantastic and your rehabilitation to bat for 3 years right along I mean you know I could argue and say Actually I'm still rehabilitation if rehabilitating is still within the problem with that with that brain injury is it's an invisible injury for a start but even then you know the the let's say the most eminent neurologist in the world because it could be dealing with a patient and say actually we can predict where you might have problems but we actually won't know until you encounter those problems they thought I would have problems in the back of my brain the cerebellum which is where the shrapnel went through but I doubt a single issue there actually all my problems are in the right frontal lobe the right front of the brain which. That part of the brain is and deals with what they call executive function skills of planning and organizing problem solving making decisions always Executive know executive level but you know planning going to to the kitchen to get a glass of water because you will 1st see that is planning in organizing and solving problems and. A lot of that network of mind is being destroyed by the force of the by the bruising from the back of the brain smacked the brain forward smashes into the confines of my skull and so that's where there's a really difficult and so. An ounce of rehabilitation military and civilian for you know in terms of formal rehabilitation for 3 and a half years. And then by that time discharge from the Army in March 2012 and I continue to receive some support from Nottingham from a brain trust and not to go. But after that you know just get on with it get on with life and try and deal with life. How did that affect after you were discharged How did that affect your sense of who you were my identity then was built around my persona of being an Army officer I was so clear about who I was. What my role in my life was when that went it destroyed me and I didn't know who I was and I didn't know what to call myself and psychologically that loss of what I thought was myself was incredibly damaging I thought I was in cloud I thought I really honestly thought I was and of repast strong individual because of the pressure of being under in numerous years in the Army in campaigns in Afghanistan and the like and I thought I could handle pressure but actually I couldn't handle the impact. Oh change that sudden change in my life and I became depressed and actually what it was like one of the good things is that the day I was discharged from the Army was that they I stopped being clean shaven. Because I did not save any Well while we're going to take a break for some music on the light so right now I'm We should talk some more after this. Life. Goal. Oh. This is the light show and I'm talking. Can a student heal about finding a new sense of self and a Joyful Living really after being medically discharged from the Army after 18 years of service. You told us how the injury came about you told us about the that we long road to recovery that we have been at Station. Tell us now about what you do now your charitable work your art I mean you keeping him very busy indeed tell us tell us when when things began to change for you in terms of your recovery. This I mean this is an oxymoron but it's so you know the height of my depression it was the latter part or the end of 2010. Just over a year about 15 months after my injury and I was really struggling but I was invited over to some Yorker for profit on a holiday this lovely couple she learned David who had a villa around him Yorka. Myself and 3 other injured veterans and our partners were invited to spend the week for them at their their benevolence David happened to be an artist. And and I was I used to watch David paint and draw and see the satisfaction and enjoyment he had reminded me of when I did over level art in 1984 or whatever it was 1906 and and so I asked if I could borrow a pencil and a piece of paper and and I'm I'm certain in this me me your concern and I'm trying to remember what perspective was with the swim in Paul in the villa to my right and it's from Paul in front of me and I'm your can mountains and shades of purple eyes and violets and coal blue sky and yellow work of fields and I'm trying to draw this and I just I'm just lost her for 3 hours because my wife is you know saying C'mon Stu you got to be late for dinner and we need to shower. And so for me that was the 1st time that I had being lost or not dwelling on my own self and then one day someone offered to buy a painting or commission and I thought actually maybe a maybe maybe something here maybe I could become maybe a part time professional artist or something. I say professional it's because I wouldn't I didn't call myself that for a long time but other professional artists guy mentors would have said no no Stu you sold a painting you sold on you've been commissioned you can call yourself a professional gosh do that. Do that. So I'm starting to feel a better sense of self-worth and feeling better about myself and who I was as an individual and then did a couple other sort of talks for charities and then again someone said oh can you come speak to my my business and we'll pay you and so I had my 1st speaking engagement paid with Lockheed Martin. U.k. And then thought well maybe there's something here as well anyway so. Art and public speaking to sources of revenue for me. And I'm getting better at then and. I just I do I just love it I love talking love talking about my brain and so you know I've got a damaged brain just think that actually what you can and other people can do without a damaged brain with a very healthy brain so public speaking very much your life today and I hear you've you've you've you've made this incredible loss you've decided to paint portraits of your 4 women colleagues tell me tell me what that project's about yes so. So my 1st ever portray that I did was I was of soldier mind Kevin Elliott who was killed after I was injured and left and so I was able to go to his funeral and I met his family and I became friends with the family so I did portray of Gavin a few years ago and that was my 1st ever portray tonight then did one after that my 1st of all portrayed for his sister for his sister's 18th birthday and then the couple years later I did one for a colleague of mine that was killed in 2012 and I could see actually how beneficial that was for 'd their families it provided them with some comfort. I would say a lot of comfort but in the perspective of their own lives on the show how much but it was they just found it really helpful for them particularly from someone who had been to war and was injured and being in the same environment of their next of kin Kerry so. Late this year I sort of post on Facebook from an ex colleague saying they're going to see Dane Elson a Welsh Guard soldier who was serving with me for a couple of months I didn't know him that well because we. Only met him a couple of months and we were in the you know he's part of a big organization but he was killed the day after I was injured and I've never met his family never different unit and never got around to anywhere so this Facebook post saying it's been 10 years we're going to visit deigns grave and meet his mom Deborah and raise a toast. And so I sent. This Who's the guy who did the post and said Look actually could you I know I've never met his mom but could you offer to just say to her if she wants I'll do a portrait of thing for her and I don't want to bother she gets upset I'm sorry I apologize but anyway the officer she said yes and I've gone through that process and again she's given Shoojit comfort from that and so I thought actually this is a new this is an artist this is a sense of purpose for me this is actually what my artistic life should be for. Whether it's for the next couple of years or 10 years or for the rest of my life I don't know but at this moment in time my sense of purpose is to offer to do portraits of individuals service personnel that were killed in Afghanistan. But I have restricted that to the years 20072009 which is when I served because there's been over 450 service person killed in Afghanistan and if I thought if every family or even half of every you know 50 percent of those families that the $200.00 are portrayed to do and that would take years and I have that time but I don't know if the families would want to wait that long so I because this is new I thought Ok we'll put some restrictions on the promises on it to begin with and see what the response is so 20072009 the service person that was killed in Afghanistan doesn't matter whether the army navy or after my offer is to do a portray to free to give to them to the next of kin whoever that is and. If Yeah and so in theory if I let's say I did one a month. There were 150 people soldiers killed service persons killed in those 2 years so actually that's going to give me enough painting for unfortunately give me enough painting for you know close to 10 years. Well that's just yes yes I know I was going to say it's incredible that you've you found this this as you say power pass for now and and and and it sounds great what you're doing Thank you very much indeed for taking time out and telling us your story today we're putting up a link on our social media right now late Nygren times and Facebook page to you or your. Your your web page basically and where people can see your work as an artist and and find out more about you as a public speaker Stewart thank you very much indeed for your time tonight thank you and I just will say that the Web site is on the they will be on there thank you the Web site is probably like every other website it's been restructured it's out of date but you actually you'll see what I'm about there you see some of the quality of my work you have please be pleasant if you treat for whatever it is about it and they give us the website on the radio now as well we do have the links up on on our lost my cool bringing us. Very close to midnight now listening to The Late Show Hello it's going here I'm with you on to one I am looking after things for Graham this Wednesday night into Thursday very soon love songs coming out a.b.c. Radio show option proud to be part of your county. Thanks again to my after 11 guest tonight and an incredible story of of of of of pretty sickly rebuilding your life after after and how render Sevenzo which which you heard about there in Afghanistan to basically pick yourself up and start over again you can see the link to Stuart's. His website on our Late Night Graham tying to Facebook page you can also see there. His self-portrait which. Which is which is absolutely amazing he is saying there oh I hope you appreciate my are I hope somebody shows some love he's very very talented indeed do check out the link there on our Facebook page or if you'd like to go directly to it Stuart Hill dot co dot u.k. . Midnight enough songs. Good morning to an album with just sneaked into 1st day the 5th of December this is the Late Show Love Song is coming up I'd like a dedication 81 triple 3 is a text number start your message with the letters g d and the carpenters and running Keating Cindy Lopez true colors coming up we're going to start with Abba and Savage Garden Truly Madly Deeply shortly as well. I don't. Need. Oh it's good. It's history. And that's what. Nothing moved to say. Key. I don't want to tell. If it made super. Tuesday. Come. Along. The. Moment you choose. The boss told. Me. The Beat. The