Transcripts for BBC Radio Scotland FM BBC Radio Scotland FM 20191002 090000

It was a sales these were offset by increased prices the policy the 1st in the world was designed to increase the cost of cheap high strength drinks seemed to cause the most harm and hundreds of thousands of Scots could be denied the right to vote if a snub general election is called that's a warning this morning in the wake of a major study which suggests that close to a 3rd of the entries would she be on the electoral roll are either missing or inaccurate Daryn uses a chief executive of the Electoral Reform Society what we've got here with this system of registering to vote is a very clunky out of date system in a lot of countries you can answer your question by simply going online typing a new name and you'd be told where your original to divide and make and confirm the details are correct but part of our system well you can never do is input your name the 1st time but never check it or change it or updated in an easy easy to track way and that becomes confusing Watson is no sport with I want to thank you Craig Andy Murray has beaten Cameron already at the China Open the former world number one secured victory 766761 just under 3 hours money could now play top seeds Dominic t.m. And the 3rd round after his call up to the Scotland squad a lot of Shanklin has been back this morning to score for the national site former boss Ian McCall has told us the Dungy United striker will successfully make the jump from a Scottish Championship to the national site the former Tottenham midfielder Rafael van der Vaart has told the b.b.c. That the spars players aren't as good as they think they are and they need to focus on improving their recent perform He's been speaking after they were thrashed 72 at home to Byron Munich in the Champions League and at the world of Latics championships and Doha. Goes for gold tonight in the final of the women's 200 meters Ashley Smith is aiming to become the 1st British woman to win a global sprint title for sport at her website. And Mary Watson has the travel Cheers Iowa not looking to the bridge routine cleaning on the bridge today between Up us 9 and Top us 12 so that will be temperately in restrictions for short periods. Stilling the m. 9. On the slip because of a breakdown junction 9 barn. On the m 19 north by and conjunction junction 9 a bridge. From Junction 12. To 14 the 5th market and the m $74.00 north and junction 2. That's b.b.c. . Weather central and southern mainly dry and bright today with spells of sunshine the afternoon. With still largely fine with temperatures around 12 Celsius but northern areas will be windy were scattered showers and sunny Belles the shores will be heavy with sleet or snow over the highest margin peaks of the b.b.c. Radio thank you very much Craig. It's a tricky one. Because. By the tabloids. The newspapers. Only want. To the public is that. Desperate to try and change the culture but I suspect. I think. So yes C. Spending too much. Drinking. Well that's the question this morning that will be considering us a Considering she's already considered. But she also wants to know what you think 8 to 95 Helen says maybe. 7 years ago I had an inkling that my husband was going to turn into a part of his shed. Had a pre-nup. And what do you think. Hollywood star Reese Witherspoon is all over we will give you the lowdown. With my youngest last night it didn't go well I have to say but a little bit later on like any other business the funeral market is changing to meet consumer demand on the way apparently or traditional religious services only 10 percent will for those I'm amazed by that what is a theme fireworks and even live streaming to keep us up to date I'm joined this morning by a humanist celebrant. Good morning holiday Good morning very well indeed director of undertakers and Dominic Good morning Dominic Good morning good morning joining me in the studio I was staggered by that only 10 percent of the traditional religious. As I really I'm staggered by Israel cable used. Because certainly that is not reflected in the volume of funerals or the breakdown in the volume of funerals which we or most other funeral directors in classical would conduct there certainly has been a market a marked increase in the number of non-religious humanists are secular if you're not but I certainly wouldn't put it at 90 percent of all that's what they say I don't know where the representative sample comes from but it's certainly not reflect labels in the city of Glasgow is it the direction of travel though do you think I certainly think it is the direction of travel personalization of funerals and celebration of life is something which as a form of farewell or goodbye is becoming increasingly prevalent the families wanting more input into the funeral the choice of music even the type of coffin for example we're getting an increased request for a colorful coffins or a coffin which something that reflects something of maybe the hobby or the lifestyle or the personality of the deceased that said you know it's a small movement it's not something which is exploded overnight I often think for example that the choice of music at funerals I have seen a big sea change since the funeral of Princess Diana where the Elton John candle in the wind after that people realized that they did not necessarily have to stick with the conventional sort of church the 23rd Psalm or 5 and 6 abide with me that they could have really whatever they wanted and so some of the examples I mean that we talked about this in the show before and there can be some fairly irreverent choices there could also be some some beautiful souls that are not headends as well as well I mean what the ones that stick in you know there are quite a few of the Robbie Williams song is quite quite popular and usually songs which are you know man. Logic and may be romantic I've often heard families choosing a song which was of great significance to the deceased and probably his or her partner. Or it's a family song or something which you know will recall the pleasant memories for the family there are also some more humorous ones you know you know great balls of fire by Jerry Lee Lewis for someone who wants to leave or one which may be true 3 years ago I conducted were at the end of the funeral everyone was asked to stand up and sing. Went to town and said goodbye to the circus you know you get things like there's an area where the Nelly the elephant every left the crematorium laughing and smiling because it reflected something of the individual in the character of the person that they gathered to say goodbye to so you're saying that perhaps you know you're a bit surprised too that only 10 percent of the. Formal funerals not your experience but it is that directs the travel is a good thing to think in your opinion is this a good stereo of travel Well I think at the end of the day we are here as funeral directors to status by people's wishes the guideline which we have similar to the guidelines for the Advertising Standards Authority provided it's legal almost decent and is still we will do it we won't do anything that's a reverent but by the c.m. Token. We're there to try and create a meaningful farewell for people so that when they leave the ceremony and when the funeral is all over and on and never chance to sit back and reflect that they think right we got that right said something about him or her there was lovely little touches which were very important to them and it could be anything as I say from the coffin even the way in which they were dressed 40 years ago most people were dressed in a shroud or some sort of burial rule today the overwhelming majority of people. Are dressed in some form of the rule on clothing it may be a bold top for example it could be in their goal fight for it but perhaps something which you know the family are used to seeing them in quite recently I know what family who the deceased would be dressed in a boiler suit because you know legal kingly said that all his life even in retirement they never seen him out of our borders that because he was always he was a mechanic during his life and retired he was always doing d.i.y. Stuff and printing and decorating and he always had a boy so the important thing is that when that family come to pay their last respects and see that person in their coffin the see someone with whom they are familiar not someone you know Elian to them dressed in a form of funeral gear which really meant nothing to them as opposed to how they this sort of. Thing is a move towards personalize ation Anna said to me that that means something to the people that are there it is we're kind of you come in and we're human as celebrants come in because people who don't have a religious faith want to have that representation Yeah absolutely fantastic points made there one big thing that I'm seeing these days is people are talking more about it. You know death even in the Western culture in some respects used to be almost a bit of a taboo talking about death you know you see suddenly during the street you ask our heroes your day to day or as a funeral or your heads day nothing you go on to another subject almost But these days a lot more people are speaking more boat if everyone's having these conversations then but it is a sad occasion isn't. At. For me that the whole the whole grief process is such a personal aspect am when some to pass' a way people might be grieving on the funeral people might not even have started grieving some people won't grieve some people will never stop grieving soul to be soul generalize to say a funeral is going to be a sod occasion. For some it will be but I always try and get again with a point was made I was trying to fair reflection of that person so if you're there at the funeral and you're hearing some amazing stories about that person who you loved you're in some amazing tales you cue in the crowd you're hearing some music that reminds you of them why wouldn't you sit back and enjoy hearing about the person that he that you loved and spent time with during your life so I mean ideally you would like to have a funeral that people enjoy It was a funny thing and one of the 1st few photos I dead in the family were coming after shaking hands with a few body and then they would come to me and say oh thank you so much I really enjoyed it and then you would see them they would check themselves think and I can't say that I can't say enjoy the funeral for meals are really cool moment because yeah you can enjoy if you know obviously it's going to be very challenging and in some respects it's going to be a very tragic circumstance that it will be a challenge to make it as positive us fun but that's what my job as and in any job as a celebrant or anyone who comes to fashion a funeral you have to reflect that person fairly f. In life they lived out amazing life then you have to make that funeral I mean is if you know of the same respects of something lived quite quiet reserved and content life then you reflect that also and what you do in the ceremony I mean is it was because challenge for you how that because in most instances of course you won't have met that person and I imagine and then you have to go in and some Lehren enough and gather enough information and soft information is supposed to be able to to represent how do you go about it Well absolutely I mean sometimes I am. Enough to have met the person and life or maybe towards the end of their life I'll get the the honor to go and sit with them and just get the Cracow of a cup of coffee or cup of tea and I would just talk about things but yes of us mature the times I don't get the opportunity so is about me rocking out to the house and that's just for my personal way of doing it I like to go dressed as I am you know I don't want a suit and tie because I think that will put people bring on a front straight away so I'll go nice in a law school and sit down and I will just talk and I don't go on going. Sorry about your loss and I don't put on this voice that some people tend to do when you're talking 3 funerals I'll just go Vox Yeah I'm all it's that they write let's let's do it I will talk about through ideas at me all through ideas at them we're always working on the funeral directors at the same time so together we just get that fair reflection always respectful always always meaningful but has to be a fair reflection of the parson and you know themes it isn't just about us it's you Domenic you know to be honest I need to change this is terrible of me exactly the source of this study that I am talking about so let me just say this is a study from another funeral directors so and this was their conclusions here and then they're talking about theme and. Life streaming even in extreme says circumstances I mean are you seeing that whole day yet the the last treatment certainly come in and more prevail in these days it's an option there for the families where there are many families actually taken up as another as another thing was more so because the way I've seen it as if you have relatives in Australia or New Zealand or America and they can't make it so they'll be given a live stream link to be able to watch the funeral and people who can't make it through ill health then again they could be given this live link many times I'll have the funeral be recorded even just on a voice recorder so then they can turn that into the m p 3 and then the same not to loved. Once because. It is these days especially with the humorous ceremonies it's like oh this is your life for most kind of thing so it's really lovely to hear and for me to be oh it's an honor for me to sit and speak and and hear stories about people from all different ways on the spectrum minutes as a real honor and I have to say one thing that occurs to me don't I and I totally or not to the fact that this is my own kind of passionate feelings a better and what's important about any few known on the ship with you and how they would say this is that the people the family and the loved ones are comfortable with that and there's going to be a range but when you have this kind of move direction of travel towards and less formality and you know more of a celebration and opening up to different kind of ways of representing the person and does that leave behind the people who actually want formality. Or not at all and that kind of experience is not a toll. When we arrange a funeral today what we have is rather than a sort of a formalized arrangement conference what we have is a conversation and b. Try to elicit from the family something about the person you also you know and this is probably just done to experience you get to New within a matter of minutes the sort of people that you're dealing with you nor if they are people who want to have a fairly conventional type funeral and you also equally learn by experience if you're sitting talking with a family who are much more along the lines of having a celebration you know what some Porton does this that the central theme of any funeral is the act of saying goodbye or farewell and that is done with all the emotion and with all the solemnity etc that's required the celebration aspect can go on afterwards when they go to have a week in a hotel or a restaurant or a pub or whatever but we're also noticing an increase in the number of different locations for funerals for example people having what's often referred to by funeral directors as an upside down and funeral in other words the committal takes place at the crematorium when maybe only immediate family are present and they would have a ceremony maybe a couple of days or a week later for example at the golf club that they are in with the ashes would be there with a photograph of the deceased and the friends would gather there and then after the ceremony is over they would disperse the ashes somewhere probably on the golf course you know we have an increasing number of funerals like that are funeral ceremonies being held in hotels or in pubs but no matter what is provided it's of relevance and it strikes Oh no but people I buy I personally have been involved in a number of. Fairly high profile funerals in the last 6 months with the Nicolaus Ury and the opportunity it was given to people who would have had some indirect sporting connection with the deceased and the opportunity was given for those people to come along to very unusual and pay their respects and then a lot of the family to have the privacy of a family service and I could not allow afterwards as all of this I mean everything you thought about years have you I have I thought about mine I happy enough I thought about it at night suppose a time goes on and you realize that you're getting closer and closer to getting a vote lined in very general terms what I want. Something that's just fairly family ish. Fairly modern and something which as I say but reflects something of the individual that I am alone a funeral director I am anything but morbid believe me and a thing but and I've long since learned that every day as important and to get as much out of every day as you possibly can any unconventional music choices are often choices something that prize anyone no not particularly you know like my mate my coffin choice might be will not surprising but I would prefer to have one of those sort of basket type things as opposed to you know the conventional style coffin and that's one of the things we see Israel k. Where the market leads to some degree is when you see soap operas and there's a funeral on them or deal or a car or some of these things and they have something on usual you can bet your bottom dollar within the next month we will probably in most funeral directors will have requests there may be the horse hairs and you'll get requests for the horse hairs there may be a cardboard coffin and you'll get requests for the cardboard coffin these things prompt people to think that things can be done differently from what they think a conventional funeral ought to be. They have you thought about it a person every time every few Where do you my kind of minds he was to change. My my last wish will be to get married to get buried in the central Murrayfield pitch . For the church my helper can't go so actually at the moment school my helper goes . Every time I speak to families I get it's incredible job I love it and I get inspired by literally every family after Sam and I do so my mind changes the whole time for yourself care of you for going to no no no I haven't I have to say I'm going to sever a few little plan here at the moment. Where you go so print your feel. Good have a good day you know what i gave us guys. Thanks very much said. If you want to hang around till 12 I'll give you my signature and how they put it in who's been a human a celebrant for 5 years and we do have some people with some ideas as Scott from shows the same Would the gentleman be happy I think is addressing this you don't need to play you get to the final cut from my favorite farewell song as my corpse is committed for commission you get the final cut absolutely not a problem if there's nothing just tears to fill about and told me from Lynn says prop me up to say that if I die but she would defeat a good laugh get a spin of my farewell party by Tina Watson so they go so that. Thanks very much a whole day and Dominic if you have saw a boat you would perish the lies I would you passed in lies your funeral who would you design it in such a way that when people walk today over where ever it was they would think yeah that was the person that I knew $8.00 to $95.00 I'm Jenny McPherson from Inverness I love to eat all sorts of crazy from the police and to be perfectly honest there is nothing I don't like the new series. The kitchen cafe people are everywhere and we really want to. Want to try a. Really vibrant food scene in Scotland enthusing people to think that we can keep anything we want to. Have fact we want to give you something that you can take a we. Agree I can eat the kitchen cafe with. A nice dinner with a group of friends starts tomorrow at 130 on b.b.c. Radio Scotland as long as I'm not doing the cooking there's nothing better than sitting day with a group of friends. It's 1025 this is chaotic mess with the on b.b.c. Radio Scotland still to come this morning the court of cabinet will be opening its doors and she wants to know what would you do would you call a few wedding if you feel so they asked you for a pre-nup you can text on $8.00 to $95.00 and we will have a lesson from Korea in reading it's called she got something to say text to 95 Sunday. Mornings with key b.b.c. Radio. There are lots of people are saying that this is a perfect example of fishing when I was 14 I couldn't reach as many people as I can now now that I'm 22 and I have this hall thing behind me I can I can speak to so many people and just feel like I can help you know and it's Ok and ever and I experience a very normal. That is Kendall Jenner There she is sharing her teenage was about. It does appear that there was also a commercial. But this isn't just a celebrity thing a lot of young people are following suit they're sharing their problems online in the hope of receiving positive attention not surprisingly it doesn't always work the way that they hope joining me in a. As the c.e.o. Of gets a phone line to need good morning to Tony good morning again came I speak to lovely to speak to you and clinical research or of human behavior online Catherine nebs Good morning Catherine good morning Catherine good morning. I don't know how these things surely evolve I mean Tony or Catherine do you do you Norman and suddenly it's got a name is a thing it's recognizable You know how did this come about sad fishing I think what what we see is every week a new issue click comes up for me internet a new buzzword and this is the salacious buzzword but it's a very frightening buzzword because it's sad in so many different ways but I think the media and social media are always looking for these new buzz words to so even this is just a new word but it is quite a scary one right I mean Catherine how do you understand it explain to me to be honest Ok so this is. I've noticed actually both just get reported in the media and on how shall media is in inverted commas trials and that's why we're talking about normative child and adolescent development in terms of what they're doing and they have a different medium in which to do this on the telly said they are often given those words all behavior which is quite normal it's just the environment in which it takes extra lives nowadays is the online media and so what is the behavior the normal behavior a feeling insecure feeling inadequate expressing that hoping that they're going to get some bolstering and support yeah. Well I'm going to underpin it all Eat Eat kind of have to have a look at attachment and trauma but actually giving adolescents it's very telling almost all young people to reach out to that pay as to get some feedback because that's what processes of growing help is to move away from the adult such. Parents to have a coherent conversation with their tails and hopefully moving towards a place where they become adults in their own right which autonomy and I wouldn't say so I mean that as you say a normal part of childhood development you know quite touching really. In the developing their own emotional truth files but when you give a name like so that. Quite cynical. I actually find it quite derogatory Now I know that some tears now you may have come up with. Where I think the phrases confront some of the research it harks back to where we tend to say all that child's attention now if we change the language of tension we actually get quite a comprehensive understanding of what children are are engaging in and it's about saying hey I'm here. I'd like somebody to have a conversation with on of Salt Lake they have fallen in which they were if. You know a high level of risk of. Behavior being groomed by perpetrators that's what I've been working with in terms of the last decade and in fact Ok Well listen really want to get into that because that of course in terms of parents that what they want to understand a little bit more about we just need to just approaching 1030 catch up with travel if you don't mind. Every morning. Stop Go boards and roadworks on the 80 near the local paid caravan park at the $16.00 junction still ahead for there was but little bridge routine gully cleaning on the bridge today started off 9 to finish it off 12 there will be temporary lean restrictions for short periods of time and I had a call to report an accident on the northbound just after hikes in the fast lane just around the thanks for the heads up for that one and do. Be mindful of potential delays because that's b.b.c. Radio Scott traffic thanks very much Ann Marie I knew when I said to people who would you person lies your funeral what would you do hope would you stage or in such a way that people left saying Ha was that was the person I knew. Response to that being 5 says my song would be open up the pearly gates ashes Oh open up the pearly gates and the ashes would be scattered muddy field all blew up into the opposition eyes when attempting a conversion nor And for 1st says my choice of music is run rigs going home and Forever Young by June but because you make me to not know nor for goodness sake and Jean for nights where it would be all my case to dance to it for this trashy woman Confederate railroad our love country music let a watching if you play that funeral they will walk I think can see. Today 5 you can keep those coming we're talking about social media trend that we can call it called sad fishing and there seems to be 2 elements to it a kind of celebrity element which has a kind of cynical kind of commercial undertone where they are sharing their lives with you your anxieties and I'm just like you. And then we have younger more innocent people who are doing a very natural thing as our guest Catherine obsess telling us as they grew up in to addle hood of trying to sort of reach out to friends and just sort of check in with them and get some feedback on the things that they find a very difficult very natural thing to do as you say Catherine but unfortunately can make them vulnerable when they're doing this online but just before we get into that I mean Tony has this been my right to say that there is a kind of slightly more cynical celebrity element to this because it's often where these trends start isn't it is. But I've got a 100 percent agree with Catherine I mean if what this is this is come out Cindy highlighted by the heads of private schools who said it's a growing behavior trend where people make exaggerated claims about that it is emotional problems Well that's a cry for help you know that's why I said at the very beginning this is got a multitude of factors against it it's found in so many ways and we can't be dismissive of oh this is just people exaggerating and kids are exaggerated they might be a bit of effort let's look at it in a positive way that we've got to help these people one way or the other and we know the influences are there they get to do anything to get more hits on my website but when not talking I don't think Kathy and I about the celebrities we're talking about children children who now find themselves in social media bound into social media tallied up into it and feel they've got to get more hits than anybody else and we've got to be aware of that we've got to speak to the parents and let the parents know it's gets a following week this week and we can some research and those children the general said this is a cold they want to talk to parents as much as parents probably would like to talk to them so I mean you're saying that it's not just about expressing feelings but it's also there is an awareness in the back of your mind that this kind of content my old to bring more followers a night is of course a good thing well i can happen yes but we mustn't miss out the fact that some of these people are crying out for help which is what Katherine not well I'm concerned about you know we will get the celebrities the people who are influences who are looking to get a 1000000 hits on their channels we I understand all that but we've got to see through the fog and look at the dangers that this comes comes with and I think that's really important and I think it's I've always said for years that it's important for chill. Speak to their parents for parents to speak to their children and cetaceans not to put their head in the sand and say oh well this is such a complicated my children know far more than than I do we might be the case in some areas but at the end of the day the parents of the grandparents know life more they know about risk and threats and that's the sort of things they can share with their children so Katherine was the dangers as you see them. I know well you know we have some risks to danger you know you know most Again it's normal adolescent behavior to type but full of a number of the children I've actually worked with in charité one of the things that they have done is they've spoken about how they fail to pay us and they might do that on several media platforms gaining top films if Bale full runs those is Elton's them up to a predication you know the fact that predators can use this information to have a conversation with a phone. Television can they almost used in a really quite classic way by all the pages in terms of you know young I don't feel nice I am feeling really upset I haven't really got much time to talk to my parents somehow you know I'm a carer home and then what happens is they might be changed they might decide to violate and again that's a phenomena and it doesn't right but it can be used by the perpetrators to then say Hey I'm here I'm listening and actually in terms of when children are groomed. This is the entirety of the process is it about being sane saved size and secure which normally they're looking for from parents and if you can get it from your parents you will go and say California who would do you say to those young people who come to you that. I'm usually I'm working with them the stage where I have tried being good and so is the process of doing some repeated with Pat but also taking away some of the blame and shame which is often attributed to the media that actually that the behavior they engaged in wasn't and I'm going to put the hash tag wrong but it was it was a behavior that Di engaged in because they were in a place of crisis you know that stops what we call to remember is in crisis and distress children of. Vulnerable the legal definition of vulnerability and online anybody is vulnerable in terms of what they just pay today when Yeah I mean it's interesting though I eat often a Suppose that older generation will tend to kind of blame technology for a lot of the sort of social ills that we currently see but I mean as you put it. There Catherine I mean young people have always felt kind of. Vulnerable and secure these difficult feelings that they wrestled with and in a number of different ways I guess what the technology does is it can place those feelings into a potentially dangerous environment as a right yes absolutely So the advice to. Either parents or young people I mean Tony you're very keen on sort of making sure that the dialogue between parent and child continues and so when you're in your regular household and as a parent you hear the expression sad session what kind of conversations do you think should into well I would recommend anyone traveling together it's online websites there's lots of information but. The research that we've literally for this week is saying that that Jen's a. $16.00 to $24.00 euros they want to have conversations with their peers their parents and their grandchildren a mom I'd like to add as well is that Stephan and the Internet is a fantastic place now I've got 3 children I've got 4 grandchildren and I think it's awesome there are millions of successful interactions and transactions every single day but there are also the horror stories we hear about our story we don't hear about the good stories but let's turn all of these into good stories let's go away and speak to our children the grandparents speak to their grandchildren about all the things it doesn't always work it's not a perfect life is it with children you know. Children will talk to reprimand some children won't but find a way of getting your children educated no matter how it is but I suppose that is the pendant on the family environment you know and to bring you in again Catherine I mean I suppose you could say to your children look as Tony says you know the online world is a fabulous world there's lots of things that you can do that are fun and interesting and stimulating except for but when you're talking about you know your very personal and private and difficult feelings then that's not the place to go come to me be you know go to your uncle go to your friends whatever but some kids feel pretty lonely and actually their parents don't speak to them and they don't have those positive kind of rule models and adult contacts in their lives and so it's the only place they can go they feel. Absolutely and to think you really believe the issues around trauma you know that as a talked earlier the distrust of early childhood this is where the conversations really need to begin in terms of building what we call emotional intelligence showing they've been supported to you know provide an environment where children can speak to their parents but also we've really got to get over they start rolling a safety conversation that seems to happen in terms of when I speak with parents that are very strong and by the whole concept of technology any size Day Children will the where I was a size dating you know it's kind of well I know I understand that but actually this you know about conversations and communication that goes right the way back to you know early childhood and early intervention parenting and being there for your child in a way that they can feel that control shame but also day in a way that during adolescence that connection is going to create you know there's going to be normal to scold a normal disconnect because that is the very process of adolescence safe understanding how children develop that really really good helped us have these conversations. Catherine thank you very much indeed Catherine's a clinical center of human behavior online Nice to speak to this morning Tony can I hold on to you just for a take if you don't mind and this is something I just noticed one of the scanning through of the various news sites yesterday about wireless security cameras these are becoming ever more popular on the you know attached to a fancy doorbell either side the house or indeed lots of people have them inside the hose maybe to watch the baby as a sort of upgraded baby monitor or their pay it says they're all they and their pets alone and it appears there's some concern over some of them in the could be. There is. This is something called the Internet of Things and now you can buy a kettle which you can turn on by your mobile phone over the Internet you can you can have an Internet related fridge which will monitor what you've got in the fridge tell you what you need to buy and sell you what you can make as a result of it but all of these of going to be you've got to be aware can be hacked if you don't take the reasonable steps but of course the big one is surveillance cameras this is not just the home this is business as well and we know from research that over 50 percent of these cameras still have the default password Well if 50 percent is is a default password that means any criminal can get into 50 percent of those of very weak passwords and we've got to be aware of it you think of a control with some criminal can have if he knows what you doing in your house what you do in any business what time you leave your business so on and what soft money this is to like go basic with me here so if you have a security camera in your house late as a baby monitor or indeed the pet monitor or a security measure what you thing is that potentially. Hackers could get into that and basically be watching your house be watching will is going on they could they could be what that's why what you've got to do the 1st thing it tells you when instructions or all of them will not even let you go online without changing the default password so make you have the password because if someone sees that maybe looking looking outside your house monitoring what's going on see what's wireless connectivity is available and they see a house without security they said we see camera one and they try a couple of default passwords they're in and they're looking at it so we can be that way again I don't want to scare people you know these security devices are fantastic as long as you set them up and configure them right and it's not difficult. It's not hard but just one of the things that I would ask people who are looking at today go have a look at your camera that you've got how do you change the password is it something that's really secure that you can know where you're going to be safe and no one is going to have access your information right Ok so the cameras are the main problem here if you happen to have. A wireless connected kettle did you say yes you can get that you would have that so he watching your favorite soap just before the break comes on you can push it on your cattle will turn on it's a place fridge stays washing machines you name it he chain in the home all something called the Internet of Things and you know you've got to secure your Modi'in and you've got to secure your individual develops as it would to be a threat to that I can see a threat so that the somebody comes along and turns your catalog I've always sort of smiled at that with its Way of the things it puts on the security related and of course if they break into your modem because you've got a weak password they have access to other things at the cattle be in the least what do you have to worry about. Because I was going about what he did because I've got one of those fancy plugs that I can I can switch my electric blanket on from downstairs if you're giving away secrets maybe you don't want to give away here can really is that bad. I think for those reasons. Tony thank you very much indeed to need as a c.e.o. Of get save on line he said is it safe online week this week thank you very much Tony listening to b.b.c. Radio Scotland with me k. Adams Still to come this morning this is really important I brought you here because that question for you here is. What do you think. That Hollywood thought wreath whether spring sees all over it we will give you the look. Down on talk and should we be eating trash fish or will be revealed get in touch with b.b.c. Radio Scotland you can call our free phone number on Oh wait 085-9295 you can text a tone to 95 standard message rates apply this is b.b.c. Radio Scotland. The court of Mack is back. With all due respect interfering busybody appendixes you know. Obviously not going to be treated really as real no vendor day when there is a bad day you know. Callan is here which of course means that the court of Katherine is open but listen just before we go into. This week which is an interesting one we were speaking earlier about how you would personalize a funeral so I thought you would quite enjoy some of these texts here my husband who died 8 years ago requested the laughing policeman we played a kind of a jury and everyone was going to be less likely to think that a silly infectiousness not laugh because then you'd start laughing as well as I think it's nice to get one bit Ok with it but if you're a bit poignant You know I'm not a fan of the burn baby burn No that's a bit I think it's a bit out there but you know to store and stew in a cult is at my funeral I will have Scottish felt legend he mission in life version of the 42 a beautiful song. But could you think of a piece of music. From a few no I would have not only next one I'm not sure which track I did that online survey talked to bait. And it came up with some. What was going on and somebody has some life I had no ideas on life I've no idea either today you know idea what I do think that's the one for you that's going to be personalised as it. I said go for it Annie Lennox she's got a generous math. Ok what is the conundrum we are putting to people that we hear a recording let's hear those here am I in the wrong for calling off my waiting because my soon to be husband asked for a prenup he makes close to $200.00 k. a Year while I make 50 k. Year my family is basically broke and his family is loaded he's the one who wants to pay for everything and gets mad at me if I pay a bill using my money we even argued about when we have kids he wants me to stay home while I want to work he says it's common and not parson ill but I find it insulting and makes me feel like he's using me in some way I understand someone wanting to protect themselves but he wants me to give up my career to be a have spice and leave me in a situation where he can divorce me and leave me out to dry Did I make the right call. Was this is a tricky one. Asking you call off you're waiting if your fiance asked you for. Your thoughts. I think she was wrong this woman in particular is wrong for calling off the wedding I think there's other issues there frankly Yeah because I mean she said in that takes there the said day he's asked me to give up my career to be a housewife. Really do you know once they have kids. You sense of you get controlling I think there's some issues there you know that conversation she was right to call off the wedding but not because of the pre-nup you well yeah that's right that she I mean she's I think there are other reasons that she's called off this wedding and it's not the prenup right okey dokey So where do we stand on prenup so while in terror I think peanuts are becoming a bit of a train no days and I think you know in error dig. And you know when people got married or went straight from living with their parents in to manage and we didn't have property your assets or whatever so peanuts who are nothing then I don't think and they do something younger people younger people and they're probably looking at that modest maybe doesn't last as long as it did because I think 40 percent of managers end in divorce when your daughter is getting married if she said to you mom he wants a prenup or indeed mom I'm going to ask for a prenup which I think I support is really yeah I would actually yeah yeah in the way that I think probably yeah I think younger people are going into it because I think marriage is sadly managers aren't lasting and they might have a little bit of inheritance and I think that's fine you go into marriage and you're protecting your own I think older people may be insane Malcolm towards Main is yours and yours mine and all that stuff baggage. But to me. Well I think in their ideas I was seeing. Placing you at least 9 months older than me. I. Should know when I am. I think people were good in it for the long term then but now it is I think young people realize that actually I mean not because intermarriage thinking they're going to come out of it but I think realistically that is what's happening and people are just protecting themselves so I think it's a good thing and if the love is strong and is there then you know what's a prenup is just another contract and is just protecting you don't ask is really realistically yes if you think it's a good thing but of course it's interesting that this particular woman says that she feels that she's going to be disadvantaged and she is being practical and realistic you know if her husband says well if we have children then you should be the one to stay home so she's not going to have any earning capacity she's not going to build up any assets and so therefore she risks as she said it being dumped to the door in 10 years time with nothing. I know but I don't know how you and I will prohibit this lead to who a how firmly the stand ups I mean I think the are something there that will maybe help us if it's a discussion you have before you get married and you have a pre-nup and you end up getting a divorce then maybe it makes the conversation easier because you've all got it you know you've got it in place right Ok I get it I think she's So you know so to this point a finger at as you usually are and I have to say I think we need to get to and Bernie and again you know you. Know I think this woman here year she's been sold something bad I mean if he's seen give up your job give up your kid you have my kids and then dump you then you know I would hope that the separation or the divorce settlement would come into effect then we should you know should get some peel off then well let me know it's unfair Let's see what people saying this morning I think for once people Karen needs a bit of helping Gejdenson you know on this I'm just missing you I'm just listening to you. I'm gathering all my thoughts here so you're kind of. You know against pre-nup she can see in a modern world that trying not are the place yeah you're for them you're a pre-nup so I think it's a precaution I mean basically for older people as well not put you in this one because you're for myself but if I was going into 2nd marriage right I have a house and you know I was going to marry somebody and perhaps they didn't you know they moved in with me then I would want to leave my house to my children. That I made. There I thought would going to. Going on I don't think they're. The marriage proposals are withering on the vine. Want to protect yourself or you want to protect your children but if you look a t. B. C. To be continued to be continued What do you think Scouting wants to hear 295 so the big question is if you're feelin say for a prenup do you then call off the whole thing and be warned that if you're in a position of perhaps Priss suggesting a marriage proposal to she will be asking for a prenup really they filter that in her decision making but if you love me. She wants always. To 95 talking about funeral says after a friend's funeral parlor were discussing funeral songs and I said I will not believe Joel song at my funeral meaning she's always a woman you know said Oh you can see how about. I don't know. Get it on from the b.b.c. Radio Scotland. On tonight's get on it songs that feature mom. We've enjoyed the heat of July. The alarm for September. The month saw. Found a calendar with all 12 of them on tonight's On the Web you. Me shiver. You want to hear from 630 on b.b.c. Radio Scotland. Now one of the great upsize of retiring. Time on your hands but it seems that one of the Danes is much day when you hand to be sticking your hand in the biscuit tin according to the time and Planning Council of Ireland it is old too easy for retirees to overindulge when the structure of the working life goes so here to tell us if this is a choice we have packed Gillespie former teacher who's been retired for 12 years morning to pat. Warren a have with us from 8 Scotland. And a nutritionist. Morning to you both as well Adam and Rana and all eyes on you. No pressure at all obviously a very hard working teacher for many many years and then you took retirement. Easy just to let it go and be a bit more indulgent. Absolutely absolutely precisely Jay self that will offer to all these years thank you. But you really do yes I know but some kind of used to be on that fact I think it was really suggestive but. Stayed a Jenks to wait for say a while and then I got rain you have a cup of tea you have to have a base. I guess I just fail and and because I was a kid. The only anymore a cup of tea and just believe that. By leaving going you know c. For a to cheat myself when I see a habits definitely change that they. Like it and it just you know it just lets. No one but know me. Very often we go for afternoon tea right till afternoon tea is not just coffee or your teen son cookies but you've got all the. Key. Love Away Yes. I feel I should go for lunch. Ok. Let me bring in Adam here from a school that selling this to me I'm not sure this is a bad thing I think more like I think of having many biscuits every single day this is actually a fascinating topic and I think the Irish report. Tells a Story which is actually too surprising here you know we know that as soon as someone retires it's a massive and radical change to their to their lifestyle and we conducted through each inclusive workplaces and workshops and we've spoken to before half those in people 250 employers particularly one of the big things are planning for the future workshops. Where a big chunk of this is about health and well being in retirement looking at what you eat what you drink what you spend your time doing because of the change in lifestyle it can be all too easy to Ken I've been enjoying things particularly the beginning of retirement when it's like you're on holiday for a while and then it will never end for the bad habits kind of set in and then green to see you say bad habits you know they were casting this in a negative light but you know if somebody is a bit more relaxed or if they're enjoying the good things in life if they're getting pleasure of it you know I mean unless it goes to an absolute stream. I mean I don't know I don't know if it is a bad thing well I don't think is there so a big can of putting a kybosh on a little bits and pieces but the point of the bad habit is as I what point you realize has gone too far back to then. I thought of all the people with drinking problems sort of developed them for the 1st time in later life and so at what point have the not realize that there's a there's a problem here the part of this is just about understanding before you going to retirement kind of what will this mean for my lifestyle and to think about balance as best you can All right well listen if we're going to speak to Riyadh and after the news is going to what does all into shape on this one lucky for you Pat we're coming up to the news I'm not going to be able to come and ask if you let it go a little bit. After the news unlike the saint of it frankly. To talk radio medium wave b.b.c. Sound b.b.c. Radio. Derek Ferguson has a news good morning Johnson is preparing to make his speech to the conservative conference telling his party we must all have a braggart because voters feel like they are being taken for fools by politicians the prime minister says he will then said So details of an offer to the e.u. Trying to end years of. Deadlock he has described the proposals as fear and reasonable but has said this is his final offer a correspondent in Brussels Adam Fleming says that has not gone down well with the e.u. And one senior official close the negotiations said Surely the historic achievement of the Belfast Good Friday Agreement and the peace process deserves better than a 1st and final offer although having said that having said that the e.u. Having rejected this take or leave approach I can totally imagine Michel Barnier saying we disagree with lots of us but let's keep talking that will be up to Boris Johnson to decide whether he's pulling the plug or not the Mail on Sunday has said it will defend vigorously and a lawsuit brought by the Duchess of Sussex for publishing one of her private letters and a statement Prince Harry said he and his wife had been driven to take action by the pin full impact of interests of media coverage shelter Scotland has started legal action against City Council over what it claims are failings in its homelessness service says it follows concerns over gate keeping with a homeless person is denied access to services the Council says it pieces significant perhaps unique pressures compared to other parts of Scotland Graeme Brown is that actively housing charity we understand the local authorities across the whole of Scotland are under pressure we all know this follows their 72 home defeat to Byron Munich in the Champions League last night and France have beaten the USA 33 points tonight at the Rugby World Cup. Travel now it's Good morning to Victoria loves them good morning and Aberdeen in 1006 that Bucks Byrne has heavier than usual traffic spines in full character delays on the m 80 north by and between junction 8 and junction 9 panic buying there had been a breakdown blocking one lane but all lanes that are open in main feature the a 737 north by North Point on slip to Lynwood route is blocked by a breakdown and in Edinburgh there's heavy traffic on a $720.00 city bypass East by and at the share full reign to bite. B.b.c. Radio Scotland travel and Scotland's weather central and southern parts of the country will stay mainly drying unberth right today with lengthy spells of sunshine this afternoon will bring at times but still largely fine but temperatures near 12 Celsius but across Northern Isles it will be windy Wisconsin showers and sunny spells on slightest b.b.c. Radio Scotland news thanks a lot Atika. It's 11 o 5 k. Adams here on b.b.c. Radio Scotland still to come before 12 would you call a few wedding if they asked you for a prenup McCarron need some help on this one this week 82295 is the takes number this is very important right here because a question for you here Joy he.

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