We've all got stories if you have call 87 to 40000 can I thank all of you seriously your calls your e-mails were just brilliant today sank you and the table Lisa Kennedy producing a preacher assisting We'll be back tomorrow here's Fiona with the traffic. Paper image Cherry b.b.c. Radio London travel Here's the latest and take a look at the roads the m 25 anticlockwise of the dart for Tunnel the right hand or is close stop to recent x. Density you expect he's to be building it's very slow still the m $25.00 clockwise after breakdown between junctions $24.25 although all lanes are now reopened the queues but junction $22.00 and Chadwell Heath Welborn lane north and 12 stays closed both ways at the $812.00 maybe tick that's because the traffic lights are all out and there's no right turns on the $812.00 traffic is very slow in the approaches and indeed in the area to update us on our 2007 double 240000 or treaters at b.c. Travelling with a train see to see services are to stand pushing east hoping Stanford we hope exhibits he serves as incident there are 20 minutes laser Thameslink between 7 x. And so on Li and 20 minutes of a society Western Railway train from Waterloo to McKinnon b.b.c. Radio London next updates in half an hour. Digital radio when she was going to college in this crazy station. B.b.c. Radio monitor. Commons news form I'm Catherine White the Metropolitan Police and the c.p.s. Have apologised to a man accused of rape after a review found that mistakes were made in the disclosure of evidence which resulted in the trial against him collapsing Liam Allen who's 22 you had been accused of rape and sexual assault but his trial was halted the police were ordered to hand over phone records summon Armstrong is an aide to the conservative m.p. Craig McKinley He was. Of raping a woman in December after evidence was handed over just before his trial he thinks disclosure is sometimes treated as an afterthought this isn't just about defendants the c.p.s. Getting this wrong again and again and again will make it harder for genuine victims in the future to be believed it's a twin risk really firstly you're jeopardizing the accused and secondly you're jeopardizing future victims by not treating disclosure justice seriously as it deserves the leader of Haringey council Labour's Claire Coburn is to step down following a row with the party's momentum group about a new housing development she says sexism bullying and undemocratic behavior have left her disappointed and disillusioned Ms Kober told our political reporter Susanna Mendonsa the Labor Party has changed the h.g.v. Has become highly contentious this year I think it's symptomatic of the wider issues that we've seen and I've described locally in the Labor party and not just in hiring elsewhere in London and in the country we've heard similar reports of the Labor Party not providing the sort of welcoming environment that it has for the vast majority vast bulk of my adult life a Colombian man extradited from Mexico is to stand trial for a double murder in Clapper which happened a decade ago Gonzalo I rebel leader who's 35 is accused of stabbing 2 Colombian men to death in June 2007 he appeared at the Old Bailey earlier today via video link from wood scrubs who remain on remand until his trial in July. A man accused of driving a van into a group of Muslim men in north London last year has denied he was behind the wheel at the time Derren also Baldpate denies one count of murder and one of attempted murder told the court he had not planned to attack a March taking place the previous afternoon with 2 other men but couldn't because of heightened security Mr Osborne said they wanted to cause as much damage as possible he claims one of the other men who he only knew as Dave was driving the trial continues. The government's playing down the significance of a leaked report which suggests that leaving the European Union would result in slower economic growth ministers say the research is incomplete and more work needs to be down pro Europeans say it makes the case for staying in Labor's Bracks spokesman the hope and surprise paisa kiss Dharma told the Commons the findings should be published in full is this the only report that's been prepared on the bricks scenarios if not what other analysis has been Dom does this new analysis model the government's approach if not why not if so will it lead to changes in government policy. I'm less man who stole from victims of the Manchester Arena bomb attack has been sentenced to 4 and a quarter years in jail Christopher Parker took a phone from a badly hurt teenager and a person injured woman whose granddaughter was killed Parker has also been banned from Manchester city center for 10 years the director general of the b.b.c. Lord Hall has said some high profile journalists at the corporation will see substantial pay cuts while some women and men will be paid more he was speaking as a review of the B.B.C.'s pyrite Moncef on air presenters editors and correspondents found no evidence of gender bias a group of women at the b.b.c. Campaigning for pay equality said they had no confidence in their view the broadcaster Jane Garvey is among the b.b.c. Women has had to reject this report because we were really hoping to be consulted on its scope and on its methodology that did not happen and it's hard to reach any other conclusion other than the conclusion that this report has reached the conclusion the b.b.c. Wanted it to reach Paul Simon has announced that he is to play his final u.k. Show in London the American singer songwriter who 76 will take to the stage in Britain for the last time this July as the final headline act at the British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park now with underside of his cake and Salah following today's sunshine we see the cloud. I mean from the West Dave and I Tom becoming quite thick as one our sports of rain it fires within that cloud but the wind starts to strengthen through the early hours of tomorrow morning we'll see some heavy amounts of rain arriving so what end to the night in a white start to morrow morning but it means the temperatures are going to be as low as nasty night we're looking at a minimum of 5 to 6 Celsius now the rain tomorrow morning will clear away south and east with quite quickly behind it we'll see some sunshine it's going to feel quite chilly want to isolate the shots but most places staying dry temperatures tomorrow around 8 Celsius. B.b.c. Radio 6 minutes past fall. East b.b.c. Radio announcer asked in London this means he missed his drive time weekdays from full b.b.c. Radio one to get off in a worker and you just heard them on him said with a guest as Matthew Chris to finish their 1st born son of 2 Dominique ins I'm hand today bringing in London News in London talking points truly everything is well the ice was when the wind it was cold they say I am hopeful it is off to get an oyster world thanks to Gerry good for the last 3 hours and Joe of course will be back tomorrow from 1 pm so I say London stories and I couldn't point Briggs's understand what is slavery do because there's a report that says whatever happened to me through Briggs it were going to be worse awful when and if you believe it and I so want to know even if you don't believe it or if there are more jobs for you immigrants if you go stand with a n a some people have strong opinions and it will get to that later on 1st part of the show something I've always wanted to interview actually probably on a late tonight show I wanted to get into more of a business but. I'll do it here and now she's done a few shows and they station will know who she is. For a number of years and we've lived her life too but don't miss parts of it namely stray shell tell you more about our intimate almost being you about life after divorce now often we hear about the children how they saw fire how to fights about money so that a book but let's say you are now before that piece of paper has now come through that relationship is over and you all say all the nay What's it like what happens you back on the dating scene do you get your wraps out take a picture of the self put it on some website and my hope that somebody now. It's a new form for a what is the dating scene like have you have been out there did you have to go to your children so they taught you what to do and what not to do I want to know what it's like oh life often divorce very special guest but you know particularly your stories I would say 7 I would say 40000 takes that one triple 3 Start your message with the word London in emails to any dot net store at b.b.c. Dot code or Jean King a b.b.c. Radio. 7 double to 2000 text h one triple for a start your message with the web long b.b.c. Radio and I'm going into Were you and what have you to thank very much so this person is more experienced than me been on telly more to me more money more fans on Twitter Facebook leads in every single department or why she sat opposite me looking absolutely terrified. I had a very. Good God she's been on our t.v. Screens for a number of years she's been on this radio station too she's given an interview to Hello magazine about her divorce of the 20 year is being married to a pizza. It's over. But what now. Sure sure is no 30 anymore. Or 33 So what's it like I had you move on and what's that like a love to your stories to let me say I thank you very much for coming in you're welcome really. Appreciate you accepting the invitation how painful is divorce. Oh horribly but by I think for a lot of people by the time you actually go through with it you've been through my severe pain. And you know about still it's weird I mean I wore my wedding ring for a long time afterwards. And I didn't see my divorce a secret it was just the of would this ring for 20 something you know 20 years and it just felt weird and I didn't want to talk about I couldn't talk about it I couldn't talk about it even with my children didn't know when I was you know before the divorce they didn't know when I was going through all the pain there was a good 2 years when I just didn't tell a couldn't tell anyone I couldn't it was it's like you but what is there to tell the people who were murdered Mary's is no easy I knew go through difficult times times where one person is more or less than the other in your body as crazy ideas and lots of more friends get to the precipice and one of them pulls back and then you realize in quite a lot of these situations what you would lose if you didn't get that person yet when you got to the person who's Why didn't you poor Oh I can't go to the precipice got pulled back went again pull back and I think it gets to the stage oh it got to the stage with me where I was not willing to sacrifice my mental health because as a mother and even you know I just couldn't do it anymore I'm we're talking about 3 is the I mean I 4 we worked at it for 3 years and then eventually I decided I can't I just can't do this anymore and I telling my I didn't even mean to tell my daughters there was one particular situation where I broke down and confessed to my older daughter which I still. Really guilty about even though she's an adult. But they did they knew that something was wrong with with mom I mean you know you think you're holding it together and I think many parents think they're think they appear to be holding it together but that you're not you're clearly not the person that you normally were I mean my daughter's noticed I would had been dieting anyway but suddenly it went from being a healthy way to you know I'm what I'm 5 just over 56 and I got down to an American spake 117 pounds which was. You know I went from 11 and a half stone to back just over 8 stone and you know but I thought I looked fantastic you know I wasn't sleeping I was drinking probably a bit more than I should. Because I was such a low way it was having more of an effect and you know it was just it gets to the stage I think where one person often with that precipice says you know why are can't keep being pushed to the edge and dragged back pushed to the edge and drive back. Over I got I mean I know you wanted to talk about life after divorce but you know you mentioned your mental health it's been a part of you yeah you've worked towards and develop for a long time tell us a little bit about how you maintain what would call a balance kind of mental diet. For me and it's different for everybody for me it involves things like what I call mindful running I I I'm a cross-country runner and since my breast cancer diagnosis which I'm just coming out for the 10 year mark I stopped just running nonstop and I I run and I take photographs of what I see and actually on Instagram I've ended up supporting a lot of other women who've gone through the mental health issues or and or breast cancer and saying to them you know encouraging them and we share our photos of where we've gone that's a really important thing because it makes me literally stop and smell the roses Another thing I do every day is my daily Oscars which is thanking people and it could be the person on the tube who smile that made it could be the person who told me I couldn't or I shouldn't because then hell I'm going to go out and do that it involves healthy diet getting enough sleep making sure I keep an eye on how much I drink. And saying no to a lot of things and I don't always get is that I thought the one you're most scared of. Is that is that where you go when things because a drink does help doesn't it when things go is that where you go. Over it really because it's part it becomes I'm really quite obsessive like with my running but I can I have you know all through my marriage I had this thing where I had a small bottle of champagne every night or you know a phase with some orange juice and I was quite obsessive I stuck to that and then if I went on. Over it that's when I flagged up a member of the family flagged up hey you know you've gone I have your kind of obsession it's not really where I'd say where I don't know when I'm struggling mentally is running I know if I have run normally I run about I don't know between $7.00 and $9.00 k. Every day I know if I've hit 10 k. And I want to do another 5 for another 10 days I'm sorry I'm dealing with sometimes to yeah yeah yeah I'm talking to Trisha Goddard you know who she is she's had a program or had a program on or t.v. So regular t.v. And has been on this radio station she's given an interview to Hello magazine about life of divorce and we're talking about people mature people people of an age how do you move on what do you do we've laid the foundation I think now for this conversation but they want you are home to get involved to get a 1st term cool pool Trish or you get those headphones over there put those on for me and you know I can do this together Paula good afternoon to you good afternoon how are you I'm very well thank you right so this precipice Tricia 1st of all hi Paula. Did you did you hear us talk about the precipice that when you're you know I don't feel comfortable in this I haven't been happy for a wab what's out there the fair of the unknown Do you remember that before any divorce. Not really before my divorce it was all it would. Take you through that. Well no it's just I just felt once I had a very messy divorce 'd there was a lot illness and bolt and to this day I get on with him well I was afraid and on the top of my to go I needed to bring him back in so I was at the base of it. Well I just felt as soon as I was out there saying go everyone expects me to go on to online dating Oh God yes. I did I did I did but. How young how young are you Paula I'm 16 so we were. Going Ok right I can't so we're all in and you got your free you got your freedom yeah you shoveling free grub on our truck on our transport system. I have no idea but it's at the end of the year Ok Ok. Ok All right so 59 in 2 months right so you are now free and you're in your fifty's. It's scary Well you know at that age you should be locked up should. You should be doing meeting you shouldn't be thinking of anything else really knowing. That's how anything else is it is an expectation yes so I trust her she will probably know and actually I felt I had to do it in the beginning. So I went on you only live have copy date normally right. It's not awful when you when you reply to baseball they sort of have an interest in you you have to be why cool copy guy did you did you look at the pictures did you go in the pictures fast and think why they all so old before you realize that the same age and. I mean come on I had a big wake up call called The ones that were on the search. Taking So I would then on another one I never paid I never paid that I just used to be in and out but the coffee date or. Sorry I shouldn't I don't want to. Hold on I mean I'm gay I'm getting a few more hands a scratching and usually they scratch me plan something slightly odd is happening how long have you been divorced. Oh I have been well thought I'd be. Ok so. Right so you've been divorced for 5 years right 4 years 4 Yeah he divorced Yeah how many coffee dates have you been. About 15 of and how many of them have go more sugar and. One on. One for you and I get to that let me tell you I get to the point I mean you've been on those states where you've been to the loo and you've looked at the loo window and thought damn if it was because I could get through. What. I want I try to run away from the didn't look anything like you said. I mean cool mate. What did you say and what did you say. Contrarily So if you didn't really resemble your current what taking a long time ago so you didn't even make an experience of the pick something up with a dollar or something you just said I'm going and I'm going. No I'm not I know I'm aware Lee open minded. And I don't like it when people aren't honest yet I'm sorry on this I think that and you know what are you looking a little poorer let's cut to the chase because clearly haven't found it what are you looking. For tide at the up have enough of a poor soul or don't don't don't listen I tell you what I found out because my girlfriends put me on online dating I'm one of those ones where it tells you if the person is passing nearby Trust me I've hidden in move. But not going away but now here's the thing this is what I think you should do I'm sorry to talk against online dating but I agree with Paul especially when you've been through a divorce you want truth and honesty because you haven't had it in your long time so I accepted invitations to everything with girlfriends the things that I would normally have never gone through I joined clubs I would normally never even look twice at I got involved with 2 big charities and I went to everything I worked with everyone and that I did so and somebody took pity on you know that's how I met the chapter I'm currently dating he and I were both at something we didn't want to be at and we sat next and for my girlfriend it set him up with another woman and I said to him by the way that's your intended and he was like oh good heavens can I do a runner and we started laughing and that's how we met so that I think for our age we're. Going to think when what you share an interest is better than swipe left or right just saying agree more well out of the media but we haven't yet you're still swiping. No I'm not retired from all of that and what do you what do your children say well I've got 2 girls one is nearly aching want me 20 they say you're very lucky Yes but I would mark 2 very good looking men. Another saying I mean it's very hard when you have someone who goes to cover you get what you deserve then you get because you're going for the aesthetics you're not going for the kindness the heart the generosity. Of a book Men do that yeah but we don't we don't pretend to be anything but. Sorry so sorry I didn't mean to say that about did he said look I was talking about you. Know I just have expectation. And I don't mess around if it's not going to if it's not going to be a Macall there's no point in stringing along a conflict in a date because after about a day oh yeah something well yes and we know what that is going to happen so can I just ask you one more question your partner has he moved on no he quite a serious illness so he probably won't now. And you've retired. You know from the day you can find a job in the dating I plan to do 2 jobs. Home and. Maybe that you haven't got time but you do your job no I think yeah no I get that but I do suggest that Trish is ways probably that you go to places you meet people you should have shared interests and then at least you start from a basis where you have something in common and you know somebody who makes you laugh actually much more instead Paul thanks for took lovely I hope you understood now I was only joking if you have this way of offending people true Sure I said that. It's an excellent you want to be happy you're not on a dating scene with an attitude like that young lady. Let it go dating is funny video age of 50 says Helena use your experience of life and common sense to avoid the players and idiots and the nice grow cold Lady I haven't yet but I'm going to and meanwhile I'm happy in my own skin and enjoying single life looking after yourself escape eat well and exercise and make yourself a good catch Ellen I thank you very much another one here a name not quite life after divorce but lost after being widowed I was widowed young spent 16 years alone looking after the children then they had had enough I was getting on their nerves and they'd grown up but I was still being too mumsy they decided it was time for me to me they encouraged me to go and lawyer and gave me all lead gems of advice any now new partner for 5 years now and very very very happy but still a bit mumsy they will never escape that much love and so when the divorce let the divorce divorce is legal official and it doesn't have to actually be divorce but when the decision is made Yeah Trisha we are not going to be together. Anymore with all due respect at your age is there an element of. Verse 20 years on I am worried that I will not find somebody I might be 60 but actually I'm 40 and I don't want anybody you know who is an enabler and how much of that went through your head well when I decided to call an end to the marriage when I did that I I genuinely thought I was going to be on my own I really did for the end of your telly and yes and I I've actually spoken to quite a few guys on the dating scene and you know one fear and it sounds very morbid is the fear of dying alone I know it sounds awful but I mean you do you think am I going to be it's very different from when you're a teenager when you're dating because the world's your oyster and you've got careers new everything else to think about when you're this age you've done a lot of that stuff and you think along the terms of whoever I get with now let's say I haven't the My next relationship last 20 years that's more likely to be an end of life relationship do I wouldn't want to go through what I've just been through in 20 or you know 15 years or something so you do because I'm not going to do it for fear of being hurt but I didn't think I did didn't think I was ever going to die because I felt so ugly and because I had a body with scars and what have you which are probably bigger re my head and because I you know like I've said before when you're younger you might fall into bed with someone of course using safe sex and everything else we knew this age and you've got any kind of medical condition and this goes for men as well you can't just say it's not all good stuff lights music and it's jumping to bed it's like gotta take my medications going to put my my preciously we all know I've got to do this I've got to do that I've got to do this and the other says I'm no sure if come back after a drink and we have to take you medication and put your preciously boy and put your head toy or no yes that's not sexy. But it's necessary in order to stay alive if you're wrong because it's a red occasion for door you know you know where you I don't want to die during you do I don't know what do you. Know because I live in the States so that's the great thing is they this social economic group amount monks which I'm most likely today she says picking their words carefully don't know it's me and it's been on the dating scene or the I've heard some horror stories I have to tell you on this one guy a girlfriend and I were having dinner he texted her and she said he said she said oh I'm having dinner with a friend of mine she's single like you are yada yada yada so she put us together by text. The 3rd text this guy I live in an area I guess is very wealthy 3rd guy this Texas guy sends me is his company's fiscal report or 105 pages yet and then follows it up with what are my thoughts he wanted to draw my attention to how single Paul was doing the absolute numbers hold on a minute because he's more interested in just your body he's interested in your mind he wants to know that you are. It was but I don't want and then I said I got to keep hassling me what are you doing I'm running 5 minutes late What are you doing still running and then he sensibly sends me this text I love going to the gym I too am fit I've had to cut back on bench pressing because my suits are getting too small for me so we've got this new ways but. Even if you don't get it pressing while waving a fiscal report it's not my idea of sex is Ok just citing just less interest cannot you keep it for 5 or so moments because I just got a couple more questions because I want to know you talked about your body too about I want to know how illness impacts on relationships and maybe if that was a strain we're talking about dating over 50 we're talking about life of the divorce Trisha got on scene with me I'd love to hear your stories we heard a few of the stories what's it like have you had to do this were you and what have you discovered over 2007 double 240000 text 81 trip or 3 Start your message with the word London in emails to any dot Nestore at b.b.c. Doc or u.k. Turner for 30 Let's get a headline shall we from Catherine White. Fang said he London's headlines the Metropolitan Police and the Crown Prosecution Service have apologised her man accused of right after a few found that mistakes were made in the disclosure of evidence which resulted in the trial against him collapsing 20. Allen had been accused of rape and sexual assault but his trial was halted after police were ordered to Hyundai over phone records a man accused of driving a van into a group of Muslim men in Finsbury Park last year has denied he was behind the wheel at the time down on board who denies one count of murder one of attempted murder told the court a guy called Dave was driving a Colombian man extradited from Mexico is to stand trial for a double murder and Clapper which happened a decade ago Gonzales a rebel leader who's $35.00 is accused of stepping to Colombia meant to death in June 2007 The Labor leader of Haringey council is to step down after a row with the party's momentum group about a new housing development Klecko beset she was disappointed by sexism bullying and undemocratic behavior blunders whether a cloudy evening ahead with the chance of some rain or drizzle tonight temperatures will be higher than they have been during the day which is around 10 degrees Celsius that's $50000.00 light now at the b.b.c. Radio allowed to travel has Fiona McCann. Thanks very much b.b.c. Radio London travelling is the latest in take a look at our camera still very slow for the m 25 anticlockwise in Kent now from Junction 3 up to the dark tunnel after an accident early in a previous closure of the east bore also slow clockwise the m 25 from Junction 29 to the key to bridge and clockwise on the m 25 there are delays from Junction 22 to 24 hour after a breakdown earlier yes 3 coming into London is restricted between junction 3 at light water into at the m 2510 the inside lane is closed because of a breakdown Chadwell Heath 1112 well bone lane north has now reopened at the a 2 hour after the traffic lights failed traffic is still rather slow in the area and across western eastern slope the a $4088.00 for Duggan Hill lane by Norman the road because the road works nearby to update us on a 207 double 240000 or drops a tweet at the b.b.c. Trust. It with a train see to see services are to stand between East hope and sadly hope is a might see says instant resumes in an hour for East Baton trains or from St Pancras but the Deborah in the line and their 20 minutes allays a southwest around way between work in Richmond Virginia MacKinnon b.b.c. Radio London next update is just before 5 this is love to our favorite and when appropriate is it to commemorate the battle of old stressed out cyclists hill stations arm of the old actually wish to assure you it's a girl you'll love it when you're in one of my guessing perhaps you know when they come about a subject annoyed her 4 to 976 soon to. See Islam to fix it's e.d.c. Radio London. God is my special guest to see Radio Nowhere to read about life of the eating after 50 life of divorce it's something you either Actually it isn't the 1st one you've got going through the isn't there a you went out with a former politician now sadly no longer with us who turned out to be gay Well I can surmise he probably was yeah and then I divorced my children's father and that that 1st time of day that dating men I had 2 little ones I had a baby and. A toddler and it was much feel like it was more difficult in many ways and easier and other ways because it's Trust me it's a lot more difficult when you've got grown up children because of course they always have an opinion and obviously they're stuck in the middle and you know still how important is it to you that your children like whoever you are dating or in an ideal world yes but I don't think I'm pretty sure they're not ready to even hear about my dates you know because to them it's relatively new not for me I know I was struggling for the last 3 years and every To them it's relatively new. They've got their own issues it's difficult for them I mean my my older daughter wanted me to go public and do something about it for a long long time and I just I couldn't I felt physically sick even talking about it until she is a p.r. Person actually arranged it took care of that scientifically it has been proven it is a statement of fact though not politically correct that I am going to make Now the when men are real yet street women are more likely to stay nurture and look after and marriages relationships struggle more when the woman is ill Yes And the man has to do the looking after us how much did that play a part because that's certainly this is this is through your breast I thought you had it no I was just recovering from mine and then I read about your so so yeah 10 years or so more mine was 10 years in September so how much did that play for. For he was very very of in fact far more traumatized than I realized and the thing is is that when you go through something like breast cancer everything's focused on the woman I mean you know I actually think personally it's more difficult seeing someone go through it then when you're in the middle are believe that now I don't know that I thought that then but now you can think of anything no exit surviving or is really the next is thinking about it you're absolutely right yeah moment actually to my wife goodness it must be worse for them because they call Croy they call do anything because now the focus is on the person who's ill and especially if it's a man with breast cancer if it's a man and the wife's got breast cancer it's even I'm not saying it's even more difficult but you know I say to Peter do you want to talk to anybody about it he couldn't articulate how he he felt he did it through photographs which are so sensitive bokes of our I think would still find it hard to look at I know it's still difficult for him to even think about talk about did you cut him any slack for what he must have been going through thinking that he might be losing it you know yeah yeah yeah absolutely oh my gosh and that's probably a large reason why I hung on and hung on and was and he had his issues and his health issues as well and I hung on and I supported him I will never forget that he was my backbone he and Mike my daughters Whoa I mean to see someone go through that is hellish both my girls and my husband were Oh my God I can't even begin to think what would have how I would have been and yes I worked all the way through Iran I did everything else but they were Blimey they're in the background propping me up and I think it still affects all of them to this day so I know this is slightly more wide reaching than we had planned but you spirit me this weekend is World Cancer Day Sunday I think it is. What psychological impact cancer have on you I wouldn't put it in the past tense id I'd say now really I was doing a program and somebody you know these. The researches. Bless them young and full of Health said Of course you remember there's no such thing as cure from cancer we're going to do a discussion about remission I refuse to talk about remission I don't talk about cure but every year coming up now I'm just about to go up to Norfolk 2 to Norwich to have my 10 year battery of tests every year I get in a state I mean it's not the same for everyone but I had a very aggressive fast moving cancer and I thought I had Stage 2 when I went to apply for my green card I found out I had actually had stage 3 so thank God I didn't know then but every year I have I sit in the hospital and wait for the results of each test the mammogram the radio you know the radiogram the and then they'll do things like bone density there because I've been kept on the medication past the 5 year mark so I run in between each test. My veins are still collapsed you know and I had I had prayed for side effects so yeah I go back to the same hospital to have the tests and whoosh it all comes back to me the nurse is a fantastic but when they come up and say hello and hug me one part of me is so happy to see them the other part I could happily vomit over their shoulder because of the memories a whole year of my life and I've still got issues now they're still physically do you issues do you think I mean I totally accept the 1st piece you know where support it will develop or not is probably not catered for properly. The mental power of the callers will know the listeners will know because in September we did with 10 year cancer verse 3 which nearly took me another game Year 8 leagues every single day we dealt with people for Didn't know do you think it is underestimated the psychological impact of people who see you when you hear the news you do think you're going to deliver Yes yes it is it is. And you still occasionally you know it does come back I mean the chap I'm dating now lost his beloved 1st wife to what she hung on through breast cancer and then she she went to another cancer he nursed then he stayed with her right to Lee end and it was a single dad to I think they were like 9 and 11 year old and really didn't get into a long term relationship until they were university so. He knows if he knows stuff ahead of me he will he will talk he will bring up the subject of my tests coming up whereas before it got to such a stage with Peter that we would either have arguments before my tests or or anxiety. I mean if you're in me it's different. I can't go Ok I can't say more than I could understand it but it was story from so yes psychologically it has a huge huge impact on you and that is that part of the conversation is ahead of World Cancer Day which I imagine will mark in some way shape or form the way it is on Sunday. If come in for a few minutes and I kept you going to talk about life after 50 life after divorce and whatever Stella often settle for keeping you waiting that's all and then I get off today and she said hello to Trisha. Now tell me about being 50 or over and divorced tell me your story place and when I was. There. Quite a few die quite. Well because do it like that when you listen to this. You know I'm going to pull you out of it if no no no no the 1st date you went on off the divorce what did you how we. How did it get Come on I mean it sounds very nervous. You know when you. Think. Yeah it was very difficult but even so I didn't quite friendly and why and. So I went on the. But he wasn't so may. Have you made any friends out of the people that are have made a very good friend my old friend but it's not going away now which I feel even a lot made but. You know and. So I guess you don't want any low hanging fruit. What exactly oh you looking Stella I'm looking for a long. No no. No I can I tell you. But there are decent men out there looking for a long term relationship with a decent fellow What does that mean from a given some of the people in the creeps and Mr Random they just haven't seen you Michelle then stand out back then. I know Justin is. Also a great signal. On the dates you can count on the dice but obviously you know you've got. To on. Things like somebody like. Oh I wanted the usual Yeah what do you mind I. View their home phone number people give me their. Phone I own. Stella's write the time line and I'll read it and I'm quite willing to give back some of them are some of the mom really single one of them said one of them sent me a photograph of his fault because I said it was cold and he sent me a photo graph of his fireplace saying oh he's my fireplace I'd love to be rolling around in front of the fire with you except I looked at the 5 there was no way that that was in a single man's fireplace I don't put stuff like that I think. I both know I'm not nice and the fact remains that are better than your great thank you. And then you think maybe. Say we're not as stupid as they think I'm not that I know may not think. So well we're all we now if we go somewhere we go to preserve is provided with what are we doing. What even exactly the same for Apply that everywhere are where are we with this thing now where of you given up what are you pulling of you retard it would tie it up is it look where all you have you found somebody I have actually found in my very very life and you're quoting. What I don't like that we're all. Still do you coolly knew of what you couldn't because you did that well. What did I mean you should be married what do you. Think it's well do you call him a girlfriend because you feel stupid being cool talking about your boyfriend when he's 16. Your bloke. So I'm comparing him to the one before. Nothing moving now on yet if you'd like to be able. To your husband oh no. You do a space. That's part of that study you've made us use made a smile today good on that you have the last word that I'm I just now I mean I think it's beneath you know like thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so much look after yourself stand penny Good afternoon to you oh good often a good thank you when did you get divorced when did I get I cut people off about 30 years ago actually. Like I have some I have really yes I think at the moment but when I rang to say was I am a coach and I help women to rebuild their lives to divorce and there are many aspects of divorce that people don't really think about I've been not feeling good enough about them so take their life or would they get stuck in this mindset. And I get I just to apply work a 3 phase program to help them to move themselves full stop to me self-love they have said many women don't feel that they deserve to love themselves and them then they will not attract the right type of love I work with clients but divorce that's not good enough went out and got a new partner straight away I wondered why to bloke out became a habit we sold so many issues from day to full and it's so simple even if you don't love and respect yourself in a particular way to how can anybody else and then that's be you may live free email wrong trying to make it so they see as it will go you because from what I'm reading there are few people your client base should be quite what it is applied to is quite wide to me is quite varied and I don't actually what was I mean necessarily needy Tivo sed i live to be 56 months a year old what's been set she went the self-doubt comes in when life isn't going as 8th they think it should the not coping very well with that managing the bills money can they lie. Maybe for the 1st time they've been on their own they found their way in and so there's lots of different issues coming up now listen penny lovely So you go Facebook page website or anything on the website I go and go unmentioned so I can get in trouble again i k p w w don't live your dream life coach and don't because the u.k. Let you dream life coaching don't code u.k. Penny thank you and I want one final question thank you for being so patient with me today and thank you for serving to cool are you skated as being on you Ron. No no no no no no Penny thank you Penny I'm talking to Trish I don't treat him as a lover Well no no no no no I don't she doesn't know I mean I tell you that because you have actually been on your own for very long yes I thought of you yes yes yes I had when I was a single mum. I really got to enjoy being on my own being hurt 60. This time this time around did you yeah because it was 3 years of coming back with unfortunate essentially I was kind of living on my own now I got to enjoy it is the thing I was the major wage and I always have been in my relationships and so I've had to be mum dad financially now you know you do and it's difficult for it's difficult for a man I don't care what you say however new age we're meant to be when it comes down to it if you're the major wage earner it's a really difficult one and you still be 6 months ago in this program and we've asked to take an hour of calls where people were telling me to order some sort of caveman You know you know. It's difficult for guys to because we live in a world where you have to say what's politically correct not what's true that it is true and I think the more we have that conversation the less of an issue it's going to be but I enjoyed living on my own and I've enjoyed meeting somebody who earns more than me and I realized I'm sorry let me sexist but for me personally it makes a big difference no it no no I was I'm not going to wearing the can I finally I'm not not offering for that because we've come to the end of our time and you've opened up Pandora's Box we'll have to next time you're in a country come back with a red or enjoyed it very much I've wanted to do it for some 2 I seriously thank you so much for coming in. This is law and ladies and gentlemen of the Big Easy to see that is the way to go. Before. The women stand in a fight listening to wind up in Southeast 5 amazing based multicultural city in the world we do more fairly I would say that's it. Islam to be is b.b.c. Radio one to. Have a great continue their conversation if you like life after divorce particularly dating in your fifty's and all of that will keep that going through the program just like to take a breath of right now and to have our story to a movie avoid if I'm honest with you do normally avoid it because it makes me itch and but I do appreciate that it is singularly the most important thing that's going on anyway it impacts on my life my children's life my grandchildren's life and it will and has probably impacted upon your ministers who sought to play down the leak of a government document predicting an economic downturn as a result of Bragg's it now according to Buzz Feed The report concluded growth would be lower in each of these 3 different breaks outcomes than if the u.k. Had stayed in a Briggs it Minister State Baker told M.P.'s The document was at a preliminary stage and required further work conservative m.p. Nigel Evans thinks the report and its methodology should be published but he's not worried Boyd So clearly it's been leaked by somebody who thinks that it to post is the softest possible brags that I'm very buoyant about the possibilities for the United Kingdom post preg said I think the potential for absolutely massive Labor m.p. For stratum Drucker Muna campaigned and continues to campaign for Remain people deserve to know what the govern. And things will happen as a result of its decisions and every step of the way has been trying to hoodwink the British people and keep from public view their own assessments as to what will happen as a result of their decisions that's because nobody knows for certain how many for course of we had any predictions how many of them have actually come through so no I do appreciate this story this subject and come across as a bit of an Iraqi but if now we know that in any any outcomes access to the single market you know of going to world trade rules if any of the outcomes means that we will be worse off in the next 15 years as a result of break would you change your mind do you care if this report is true does it impact in any way shape or form as to how you Thiel about Briggs I mean interesting because certainly you know we know the value of the pound coming up such as gone we are increasing increasingly reliant upon the Americans and doing some kind of deal with their otherwise we really will be as we say in Hackney in a problem what does it all mean we're poor skellies conservative m.p. For certain and part of the verb leave campaign group Paul thank you for talking to me asininity So how do you react to the report Well I think we got so put it in the stuff in context he talked about an economic downturn. And people being worse off. The reports he talks about. It's quotes would be slower so economy would still be coming in all of the situations talks about you would not do as well as if we did not leave the European Union No I understand and as I accept that I said I just think it's a bit it's a subtle distinction but it's an important distinction for and what I want to scare people no no no and I accept that would you accept that what the report says is that we will not be doing. As well and I'm just trying to clarify for usual holiday that we would not be doing as well in the 15 years after we leave the European Union would you accept that I think there's a couple of things to look at 1st of all it doesn't actually take in even the model the spoke deal that we were all a chat attempting to trying to look for existing deals that were in place with other countries less runway and they and they saw things but it's not actually looking at the exact type of deal that So Canada plus plus plus as described by David Davis in his saying so I think that that's really important when you when you say when you want to have a situation it's actually using the same sort of Treasury model that was wrong in the referendum So if you're using the wrong model doesn't really matter that I support and it's going to come up with some good Here's the model if there were 350000000 pounds a week for the n.h.s. Well it was a model as he said we were going to be. Economy would shrink by 2 percent last year which it didn't and actually it's only when you're looking at g.d.p. Figures we're only now able to tell what the g.d.p. Was last year because it takes 12 months to. 2 So work through the system so any child kind of model in the most perfect multichannel 15 years in advance is incredibly well let's establish that you accept the findings do you accept this for cost that Britain would not be doing as well outside the European Union over the next 15 years. But that's something that has not been finished the work that has been for the last thing if you swept the floor no no not necessarily because because they were proved to be wrong before we using the same model so I just think looking 15 years into the future using the same model is just too much and the minister only saw the thing this morning so it's just it's really I think fanciful to say that this is a definitive government was no one I found out that you know your skew what is it about what he's seen with Mrs. Made and agreements with the European Union's in our interventions the negotiating skills of David Davies the interruptions of perhaps the chancellor of the Exchequer or the foreign secretary there indicates the Britain is in a position to come out with this Canada plus plus Bill 1st of all in the 1st phase of negotiations both sides both a year and the u.k. Maybe it's a negotiation both sides are going to compromise Secondly in terms of what the chancellor says it much like a brief mock set of the weekend of these kind of things if you look at the the the exact wording of what I said rather than the source spin around it says that they're actually not that far different in many ways to what the government. Promises Lancaster House speeches I mean Philip Hammond talking about the fact that we want to be closely aligned to the single markets possible and and have function as a child as possible is something that actually I can accept but not just within the give the plea deal he was slapped down by Number 10 and he slapped down the foreign policy before we can even agree in Cabinet because of the context around I think this is the problem because you know what's happening at the moment is that a us coming up is coming up with its own negotiating position which issue just yesterday and whilst nothing is really going on in terms of direct negotiations there is always a hole to fill and people just think the position exactly the same stages we did and the phase one the Goetia actions everybody was sort of posturing to straw and to to get our position as it were and that's really the same stage that we're in now when we get our state out I think it'll be a different picture islands are running out of time but I just have to ask are you still as confident that leaving the European Union is the correct decision as you were when we had the referendum Yeah absolutely I'm very optimistic I think we shouldn't just talk down chances and and our economy. Thank you so much Paul for talking to us Paul Scully the conservative m.p. For certain shape maybe your except using any of the 3 counts that with you so for Britain would be worse over the next 15 years do you accept and even if we are is it something that you still would have voted for every continue a conversation about dating in your fifty's life of to divorce 02007 double truthful 2000 get the headlines from Catherine But 1st let's find out what's happening on those roads from Fionn. They said b.b.c. Radio London travel Here's the latest and take a look at the roads on the m $25.00 anticlockwise at Junction 8 at Reigate all traffic is being held because of an accident there and the keys are building very slow for the m 25 clockwise still from Junction 21 age 24 that it's off to break down earlier and there's been another breakdown within the keys need to junction 22 the 2 outside lanes the current block that that can't be adding spittle is already present and it's slow anticlockwise through Kent on the m $25.00 from Junction 2 to the dark tunnel after next entirely pass truck clockwise delays from 29 to the queue to reach him 3 coming into London meeting junction 3 and 2 has inside lane close because of a breakdown and Neeson it's slow for doesn't heal lane the a 4088 approach in the norm of the road because the works there to update us are 2007 double 240000 tweets his ads b.b.c. Traveller with a train see to see artists damaging is starkly held and there are delays to se in services between St and watch star here in the Mackinnon b.b.c. Radio London next updates in 15 minutes. On digital radio when she. Was London's radio station. Radio lounger. London's News song. I'm Catherine White a series of errors by the Metropolitan police and Crown Prosecution Service have been blamed for the collapse of a rape trial involving a 22 year old student the case against Liam Allen was thrown out after 3 days when thousands of undisclosed text messages were discovered which proved his innocence our home affairs correspondent Danny sure has seen the refute conclusions what it is found is that the officer who was in charge of the investigation didn't properly examine some 57 files and records on the alleged victim's mobile phone he didn't record how he had done searches on that phone and as a result he didn't find the key evidence that led to the case against Liam Allen being dropped the Crown Prosecution Service also made mistakes because the prosecutor didn't ask enough questions of the police the Labor leader of Haringey council is stepping down after a round with the party's momentum great battle new housing development best cited bullying and undemocratic behavior after Labor's ruling body the any say stepped in to try to halt the plans but the shadow transport secretary Andy McDonald says the party just wanted to ensure a full discussion of the proposals remember the e.c. Is the governing body of the Labor Party and it's the custodian of our rules and our policy so it's got to ensure that what is done of a member of the Labor Party is consistent with the policies that we we develop we pass a conference a man has been charged with a double murder and Clapper 10 years after it happened Gonzalo Remlinger who's $35.00 is charged with stabbing 2 Columbia men to death in June 2007 he appeared at the Old Bailey earlier today via video link from Wildwood scrubs after Bay extradited from Mexico will face try.