But in the hospital in West Sussex as well as at 2 clinics Here's our health reporter Catherine Burns the doctors were infected on a skiing holiday in France but didn't realize it when they came home they both carried on going to work between them they did shifts in 4 different places including the emergency departments where the hospital is open as usual they also visited and nursing home and 2 g.p. Surgeries it's thought that they saw about a dozen patients health officials are now tracing them more than 1300 people have been tested for the infection in the u.k. Now so far only 8 have been positive the media regulator Ofcom is set to become Britain's 1st Internet watchdog with the power to penalize tech companies which expose users to harmful or illegal material it's not yet known what penalties off calm would be able to impose on those who fail to comply Pope Francis has decided against allowing married men to serve as priests in remote areas of South America he's been considering whether to relax the Catholic Church's rules on celibacy after bishops from the Amazon region called for the change to help deal with the shortage of priests there's been a rise of 4 percent in the annual number of drink drive cache crashes on Britain's roads according to new figures 5900 accidents involved at least one driver over the alcohol limit in 201-8200 more than during the previous 12 months residents of flats overlooked by Tate Modern in London have lost the latest round of their legal battle with the gallery the called for appeal has rejected their request for an injunction in a bid to stop hundreds of thousands of visitors looking into their homes from the tapes viewing platform b.b.c. News. Now radio for 22 year old image and Rhodes makes had in our 1st person narrative series My name is. Come out of the. Pay packet. So I will write in the thick of things because that's why the story begins . To get. You to list a remarkable but still a close a true. McCarley waiting for the 66 bus because that's where the story begins. No sign of the box. I'm with my O's a producer who is carrying all the care Ok I'm a newbie and I've never presented a radio program before. It can be like 10 minutes before it comes on a 3 piece but they're not convinced that way back when I. Get that. I'm a name to me I'm 22 years old I live with my mom vibrate and no face London and I'm obsessed with housing. One day free some of the guys I was on the bus on my way to walk as I looked out the window I saw something which free me and shocks me . So we're on the top deck of the 66 bus which is important because it meant that I could lead straight on to the floor of the new breed house tell me what neighboring houses were just coming up to a new breed house is a office block both in the sixty's it's about 7 storeys high and it sits on the side of the 12 and what did you see when you were up at the top that you're looking in so when I looked over I could see people spaying and people's toiletries sitting on the windowsill and I realize that people living on the 1st floor but not just living on the. Living up. 7 storeys of the building boy did that strike you as remarkable. The thing about sitting on the top deck of the bus if I was able to look into the real house and I knew it was being used as temporary accommodation because they how. Much ng net curtains and so at that point I put $2.00 and $2.00 together I knew the state of housing him. Because in 1909 my family were made homeless we lived in temporary commendation for 10 years until we moved into social housing and I knew that this was probably being used by one company or one landlord to house people. As a prince or venture to housing because. Selling the house that we were privately renting and it was me my mom and I my Freo distance took 4 to 5.5 hot cocoa. And my mom my dad had split up a few months before the time what was the 1st accommodation you went into I went into b. And b. And. I want to point out we're going to go. Back to spring to look at the. Back door if you want to play pen from the outside even if you could do you know. My mom wasn't going to complain about the. Risk of being kicked out. I still feel quite in secure I still even though we live in secure combinational I'm really in social housing I still worry about being made high miss which might sound a bit old. But how do I get free to middle class people. Live in vulnerable position I have a phrase that very well. And you know that night. Is when I listen back in him then I'm on the list but. I'm not. Sure that you need to go to one of the speech for think rid of it. I don't think so I don't think you know I think that I feel that you don't have to get my mom for you to say she's that you don't have a good right if. She doesn't like my list so we get back to the story maybe house this is the office block I look to do from the bus they used to be regulations that have buildings like this since of Plath and they are tiny Some of them just one 3rd of the government's minimum space stand it and when we stepped off the bus to recall something on top and. So we're standing outside maybe house it's pretty grim it's a very gray it's facing away from the sunlight. But I don't know when to record in the building. We're not. Yet here I want to move away. But we're just standing on the pavement. It is a pavement is a clear pavement. What's your name. So just tell me very quickly. Because listeners go. So we were standing outside recording and 2 guys came out and said that we can't be here and that we need to get off because it's private property. Did you feel threatened I did feel frightened I felt like immediately like why are you here with you doing what are you recording it makes me wonder what they got to hide because we were only outside that building for maybe a minute under under a minute before somebody came out and told us the maid. That was there. And there's now a guy outside who's making a phone call and staring at. My fellow incredibly lucky that we were made high miss when we were which sounds like a very bizarre statement to make but I just think that since austerity has come in and with the welfare reforms have come in I realize that our situation could have been so much well it's an unusual thing to say you know you're kind of lucky but we were lucky we were lucky that when we made homeless in the ninety's I really can imagine the amazed time is now it would just be. So now you know why these are the office block has thought to obsess me I see every day I've still never been inside it so I don't really know what it's like but we know the iron is our company registered in the British Virgin Islands I'm a copy of the floor plan from a friendly architect. So we just act like I could be a threat is fine. My name is Julia park to tell you what I do I'm currently head of housing research lab at Bernstein So that means I do quite a lot of writing and research mainly about housing. I'd like to tell you how I came across the ouse and why it worried me so much it was actually pure accident I found myself in the area looked across the road at this looming office block and it was very disturbing it's quite hard to explain why but it was a baking hot day and I heard tents voices. Lots of rubbish at the base of the building so I actually thought it was gutted I thought about trying to get in but it didn't feel safe so I discovered how it's being used I went back to my office and checked the planning records you can see how buildings have changed over the years online Yeah one of the things I found out through the planning portal but it had been converted through permitted event rights to make it development rights or Pedia it's an essential part of the story what they do is allow certain building types to be changed in particular ways without needing planning permission for many years it really really applied to homeowner extensions but in the last few years it's kind of grown into something much bigger and many more building types are involved now and could be subject to p.d. Are and the conversion of office blocks to residential use is one of those new uses so the right to being abused essentially well you can see why it came about the building already exists we're short of housing it's not a totally mad idea but the problem is there are just 4 criteria which the local authority can comment on so it bypasses the normal planning process and it's that process that would normally check an awful lot of important things to do with how housing works for quality area they can comment about traffic. Contamination noise from nearby buildings and flood risk so what they're not able what the planning authority can't do is insist on things like space standards we have one but but it only applies where planning happens where the full planning process takes place play areas it happens to be close to traffic slowing down starting up again is one of the worst set of conditions just because I've lived in a neighbor house for several years now and I passed it so much on my way to work kind of it doesn't matter what the weather is ever it's freezing whether it's boiling they've always got the windows open which to me suggests that they have really poor ventilation Well that's that's a great point to me and they would check the location is suitable and in the case of new pre house you know that's the 1st thing you notice So there are lots of things that had it gone through the normal planning process would have undoubtedly meant the conversion wouldn't have gone ahead. According to the floor plan Julia showed me the smallish today unit in the building is just bad 100 square meters. The government's own minimum space standard it's back to 7 square meters you know I genuinely think when the government 1st came up with this idea in 2011 I think it was I don't think they imagined that we would ever see homes as small as 13 square meters which is the smallest one in New Breed house so when you say 500 square meters can you explain how big that if I stand up and I'm and everything after all there I found on my arms out. How far my vote is going to meet this is I think an idea it would be roughly to review top to bottom on all sides yes I'm guessing the same size may just under 6 foot Yeah so it's 3 metres by 4 metres it's a very common size for the main bedroom in modern houses the main better method kitchen and the bar fairly well bed yeah absolutely I mean it is where the person sleeps but it's also where they do everything else and that's what makes it so shocking when you nibble off or sizeable corner for a shower with a toilet in a wash basin and you have to have by law a basic kitchen and that's another piece of space used up you've really only got room for a bed maybe a bedside table and that's before you start bringing in your stuff somewhere to sit somewhere to eat and we've seen in so many of these newspaper stories people say I do everything on my bed I sleep in my bed I eat on my bed I sit on my bed it's all I've got room for. So this is where you live now where I live now. We just passed through some very big gates and now where in my little state there are really no it's really you know I. Very beautiful and weaker than the house. We're heading that's. My religion it's like we don't hardly. Know I Love How do. You get. Through it can I feel it yet. But you see great for the environment looks like goodness. If it keeps building down money dollar value is cruel. What if. You want to use them on. The beach and bone in. His calf kissin flooring on the floor. Bench a. Living room on which is pretty messy in my view but thank you very. Good but to my house in a minute but he need to nice something else when I 1st nights his neighbour's house I began to go off a spot housing back then very few results came up even when the media did report on office blocks being used as temper combination the reports has failed to mention methods if. I wanted to find out how many of the office blocks were being developed in this way so I sent out the Freedom of Information requests. I send them to every London council and councils outside of London so here or of my Freedom of Information requests all 80 of them where where where they come from because they're not just that one building we've just looked No they are from all London Councils you wrote to every London council I went to every London council toy asking them asking them how many units combated on that permitted development roles they were accusing as temporary accommodation and nobody said why is a 20 year old asking for this information and they didn't ask me about how many people wrote back to only a handful of bars very but probably the best one I got was from Lewisham council because they aren't that every single question I asked And what did they tell you that they were using free form office blocks as temporary accommodation. And they gave me their brand breakdown so parea Kovan house as the 265 b. $27.00 units total weekly cost $5609.00 pounds 90 pence. So that's how much money they are paying my private landlord to how is homeless families lot of people listening to this will think so people are living in converted office blocks what's wrong with that I mean there's a housing crisis it seems a sensible thing to do would you want to live in an office book. Because they called Temper combination for most people that live in Tempe accommodation no no that isn't temporary I lived in temporary accommodation for 10 years that wasn't temporary we moved out of there in 2009 since then the housing crisis has only been exacerbated so people are spending prolonged periods of time living in these buildings and when we consider that children live in these buildings I would really consider how does that impact their development how does that impact their self-confidence. I've written to to Secretary of State to housing ministers I've contacted my local m.p. . I have had responses from civil servants asked to reply on behalf of ministers. Some of them have been quite sympathetic. But I've been fucked off by the fact that building regulations apply so I needn't worry too much you know these people are safe and I've written back my normal stop in way and said yes but actually building regulations don't cover this this this and this so spaced out for example could easily go into building regulations you know particularly fate imported standards they've already got into regulation difficult Why do you think I think knowledge or I think the numbers are just too tempting. I think we can all probably agree that we could manage here for a while and we've all got different levels of resilience but I think it would take a toll on most people within months just the things you can't do just the feeling of claustrophobia and also the feeling of living in the worst housing you know somehow I want to what does it feel to be living in one room when you know that everyone around you has 5 rooms you know a church and if I go up it's like when I was younger I went to sleep with them thanks you could never do that could you you can never take your friends back to your high. And I like I wonder if children if their asses go where do you live I wonder what that that what they say I live they are what they just lie because you must know as a child that that's not know what So no motive in the law Yeah I wonder if there is I wonder if there's ever a case of like a child going into that office block and being worried that their school friends might see them and then realize that that is where they live Yeah I think about that a lot and it kind of really depressing and that's the thing. And that's partly what makes you care about this so much isn't it and I've been a housing up to it for 30 something years now I do it because I absolutely believe in the difference that decent housing makes to people's lives so when I see housing like this this is some of our newest housing and it's the smallest housing I've ever seen or that I even know Wolf currently in London there are over 56000 households live in an attempt accommodation up to fads since 2010. So here we go another interview 3 pm It says here comes the main office you will be directed from the ground floor steps and to the podium level I mean the moment you use an excellent candidate and. We're always there and with rain in London. The London Virenque I. Am the person we've come to see is council leader Joseph edge of all our minds Joseph virtue for Joseph 8 year for leader of Haringey council a leader of having a council called Joseph age of 4 who gets really upset when you misspell his name is just that sort of like coverage area now I die and it was worth every journalist Yes so maybe I can change the world in my own little way only and we can start with this documentary or we can start talking about how the housing in the housing crisis is a crisis and I think personally I think it's the role of council to provide social housing a lot of landlords neglect their responsibilities one of the biggest crimes I think is the fact that people can pour all of that money from around the world into the London housing market and there's no regulation of it I don't know how much you know but I lived in temporary housing I did not but I've kind of heard of this new thing a few years ago who committed development housing being used to house. Families in temp accommodation and I've become a bit obsessed by the idea and I'm slightly nervous of that I think that at the time permitted development this so a permit if I 1st came in there was a lot of issues with lots of empty office blocks and I have to say until recently I thought that this saw a payday was only available for empty office blocks now the real problem is that developers can buy an office block if it's all of businesses within a office block and in turn into low quality high density housing and the issue there is that the council itself loses the business rights from those businesses also as a town sends a loses the income generated by people coming into the town center who work has a lot of business rights and there's a loss of the viability in the town center itself can you tell me about a specific build and whether in your council district Well we have an issue with a building called Alexandra house a 10 storey office block in the heart of worker in town center the building itself is full of businesses they provide secure a stable employment for lots of people and they provide the council with a substantial income through business raised up the problem here is that the you owners are seeking to use permitted to develop rights to evict all of the businesses from the building and to turn the building into very small accommodation 219 units over 10 floors and I'm loath to call them homes because where the floor space is smaller than I have told room and used to have a path through the toilet and some kitchen space that's not a home and particular if you don't have any natural light but the law allows these to be called Homes and I just think that's wrong so we've had 86 different applications as a council we lose. The ability to have a clear say on the type of accommodation that is actually built out of those 86 do you know how many were going to be temporary accommodation not suitable as I can't explain can't tell you how many were proposed to be used to type accommodation what I can say is just looking at the last that were built within permitted to Veltman actually cost the residence of hiring I $60.00 affordable homes where we have permitted development you lose affordable homes because not done through the appropriate planning function. Can you stop the. Questions. One second. With my decisions on. A. New stock adamant. Stocks around contaminated lines risk noise or transport impacts Now these are very limited criteria However our current funding officer believes that this particular pairing up the question does not meet that criteria and as at the moment the timing application has been refused. Which means that right now Alexandra house a building described back in November as a potential human warehouse be developed on the pedia Arad triumph for the council . What did you think of Joseph I thought he was really nice stuff and he's very insightful. But he was too kind of p.r. Which is understandable because he's a council leader but it just becomes fresh I think. I feel guilty saying that because he was saying I think you did you learn anything I did learn anything that wasn't already aware of I like to afterwards when you said that you'd made a Freedom of Information request to her. To say in my Freedom of Information question. I made to Freedom of Information requests to Haringey council and I didn't get a response to them but having brought up with Jason he just gave me all the information I had asked for did you not think it was interesting that there was a financial as well as maybe you would say a moral case for not allowing these blocks to be transformed into temporary housing I feel like it sounds like bad but I always feel like when you like a make a financial case of something that will always take President I have a saying well isn't it awful that these vulnerable people live in these terrible conditions as soon as we bring in the financial argument people like oh. Well maybe it's terrible that the local council is losing money and that's a and I mean obviously that's great and it's important to make those points about so depressing isn't it don't have to make a financial point rather than a moral point over a humane point. To kind of make progress. That might be the most interesting thing was Yeah well maybe you've said yeah. Here's why I learned from all my Freedom of Information requests in 2019 ever fed upon the counsel's. Office as temporary accommodation one of my successful if I was recording Council they told me in November that combative branch and 29 units from 3 buildings Windsor house Sycamore House and House and that there were 198 children living in them so I went to go and see what they were like. Building Number one is when the house that I purchase ation directly beneath it and across the right is a bias station and there's constant sirens coming out of the time. We try to get inside when South as soon as we approach the building somebody immediately came out and asked us what we were doing just like they did at Newbury house just like they did it maybe how. According to one newspaper The fire brigade have raised concerns about this book so I went to ask but as soon as I mentioned this to the head of the fire station opposite he immediately very safe hands and said I have to stop. Building number to a sycamore house. It's on the say it's not as bad as when the house and Stefano spot is new. But it does still resemble an office block the red pen I am one of these books is at least $29.00 pounds $99.00 for a bedsit That's $893.00 pounds a month. Voting member afraid is come out and it's a lot. Of the stuff. And it's being used by the council as temporary commendation from my f I why we know that there. 82 children living in the field and we spoke to a few people coming out called House one was a camera the full the building was like a real size by 2 young women who had free children who said have room was really small had bed bugs and she didn't like the NY visitors group there was a sign in the door No visitors allowed off to 10 pm as without in here what the government of recently said namely the permitted development rights are subject to a review they also say that there are examples of poor practice but that p.t.o. Have contributed to getting the homes built that this country desperately needs. So when I was in primary school I remember us been asked to join us and I j my temper accommodation which back then was a fuck of normal house and I think about children who live in these office blocks if they were asked to join the House at school what with they draw. When a family is my time s. They have run out of choices is all of their autonomy and their lives are completely in the hands of the local council they have run out of options and have never asked a guy I believe that we should be able to do better than this. My name is Amy was presented by image in roads and produced in Bristol by Miles Ward our very entertaining married couple played by Roger Joanna Lumley go on a lengthy car Jenny and reminisce about their 1st meeting house conversations from a long marriage in a moment and after last weekend's storm you and yours later hails from some people who are still doing battle with insurance companies as a result of the bad weather in November pass a 1215. Every And if he left that way. But never has someone to. Intimate correspondence people are intimidated by the craft an hour of waiting just. To stay think they can't do it on your behalf and that anyone else who has such precious time Cathy Fitzgerald meets the love letter ghostwriters I had to very much treat the women on the other end a very specific way that made me feel very uncomfortable a lot of the time serranos. Reduced her to more concerted. Radio for Joanna Lumley and Roger play a couple who've been together for a very long time in conversations for a long marriage. Just hold. These. Conversations from a long marriage a 3 time starring John alumnae and Roger Allen episode 4 let's spend the night together. Morning. Do you know what day it is but yes I also know the name of the prime minister in the capital of Italy do you want me to list animals beginning with all recite the alphabet backwards this is not a memory test Well it's sort of it's February the 14th I can't eat when the car insurance is due hilarious look I know it's Valentine's Day and if I have forgotten your heart shaped toast is a bit of a clue isn't your inside pocket watch the card I don't seem to see one about your person very perceptive there isn't one why I don't ask for much you make more demands on a chair Massy kind to be romantic for one day I am Inc Your a b. Remember it has zip top story commercially constipated way the strong silent type that's me Behind every strong and silent type is an awful lot of quiet do you want noisy declarations of love Off course I do we go through this every year we're married we're not illicit lovers nor are we yearn in with unrequited passion sometimes I am when you are up all night watching cricket Valentine's Day cards are anonymous expressions of desire and we know each other to an unattainable love object which you are not of sent mostly by spotting losers which is not me you forgot to get a card didn't you I don't need my thoughts expressed in a commercialized saccharin sentiment created by an algorithm in some factory in slouch I'm perfectly capable of telling you how I feel without shelling out 350 the whole marker on then Ok. Whenever I see the sound fails my tongue falters sin fire steals through my limbs and in our roar and darkness clouds my ears and eyes sounds like you're coming down with flu I'm parched by passion it has similar symptoms is that how you feel about me intermittently or is it how Catullus feels about Lesbia steal from the best by golly who did. This payment for you just the 11 move new design Who can it be from try and work you don't vote carry in the greengrocer's winked at me the other day she has a detached retina. Perhaps writing familiar. Who's the bird on the front Dorothy Parker of course. Oh life is a glorious cycle of song a medley of extemporaneous and love is a thing that can never go wrong and I am memory of remaining very. Thank you right as Valentine's Day done then conflict not so fast where my roses in the garage we're going to bring them in the garage on the bypass. I'm off well you know I'm on the phone I'm sorry yes I will get the paperwork to you I promise I'm just trying to find all the receipts no I didn't want it right thanks so much but I love you it was that Tony Watson our new accountant Yes who we've only met once in his office nervous cough button think that's him and yet you signed off with love you. Fought to our accountant you said by Love You did not yes you did I didn't even know my point so obvious is that again my point but you said to most people maybe people I know and like but not afraid so you've turned a corner your not only complete strangers you love them it's just automatic I don't really think about when you put a stop because right now he's staring at the phone wondering if you want him for more than just his spreadsheet move that'll be here he said to think he's going to try his luck and ask you out to lunch notably Sally wanting to come round because the christening today and hello oh hi. Well thank you but no I can't today because. Now I must go and just see my husband off good bye and thank you for calling. Oh really you know I was try giving of the brush over the belated formality but it's too late the flame is left I thought I was quite firm exactly better come on treat a main keep on Cain just makes you more desirable look at me I'm still hanging in there determined to win your affection you might have had more chance of success if you'd got me a card yesterday and you shouldn't have said you were seeing me off it sounded like you were telling him you'd be alone He'll be round with his calculators talk it can't be rude can I because I might lose it hasn't stopped you being rude to me what you can always get another husband but a good accountant is hard to find and on that bombshell I'm outta here so you mater Ok you could plead with me to stay and protect your you know the Oregon further you've got to show up at the christening come with me don't want to you sure yes very sure you've known Peter even longer than I have but you shouldn't be going either he's my friend was when he left his wife our friend you have to move on he's got a new family now and baby is unite people Sally wants to kill him I'm sorry I should be round soon and I'll spend the day listening to the many ways Peter is broken our heart ruined our life let you go and have a nice time with the cheating right back she seems to have moved on actually how do you know I was behind her while she was getting petrol yesterday. When you have to get my bruises she was in this van from the garden center sitting in the passenger seat the driver got out and leaned in her window and gave her a kiss and then went to the checkout she saw me in the wing mirror jumped out gave me a massive heart and hope she was loved up who. Was quick she was sobbing on the phone to me on Wednesday saying her life was over he sent her an m boys apparently inside a valentine her heart might try that next year I knew for services rendered What's he like Tor beefy man of the soil dungarees muddy boots light stoop called Ted apparently he cleaned out her pond and then offered to landscape her boarders can you do the carry on innuendo is did she see what you did there did you talk to him no she wouldn't let me said it was early days why didn't you tell me this when you got home she asked me not to say anything she think she wanted to prove she would not told me if I hadn't seen him kiss or wrote I'm coming with you went to the christening why I was boycotting is in solidarity with my jilted friend but she obviously doesn't need me anymore now she's got Gabriel quite interesting here and have lunch with your forming financial advisors another 5 minutes I'm not waiting make it 15 I've got to show her I'm leaving now really are you happy with that stimulus lead Well it's own taxi it's vintage and well worn like me talk buttons about to come out only to talk but mum up wearing a turn I have to wear a tie and Cherelle you don't Peter said it's very informal his whole life inform remember when he was cycling shorts to the opera. Those your gardening sizes I could easily wear them for light weeding duties on something proper These are proper just baggy jeans I want them blue so I have some air around my saw leaning on is fixed I still get twinges it's a long drive don't go there and I'm definitely going to this christening you look as if you're going to a barbecue maybe I am there's a do afterwards could be in the garden it's February Oh those trainers you've had plenty of time to verbal abuse my. Wardrobe Why are you suddenly having a go just as I'm walking out of the door because you'll be with me and I want you to look as if you've made an effort trust me it'll be an effort to come up stairs in me no time for that I want you to get my box down after you've changed. Oh. Maybe me wanting to work your way Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you're not off to driving something that come here you get my ear drums of the all right turn it down then I don't mind much. How you doing at all or most ways is so dull it's not proper driving is it like being on a conveyor belt where you hurt along and then get splashed out at intervals same game same view backside of a Highland. I need a travel sweet Roger. Do you know orange ones keep your eye on the road I am on the view hasn't changed for 54.8 miles do you get it with my mouth you don't it's green didn't say no green ones only red ones left you wait the more when we went to one of those it's your job to replace the sugar free government the travel suites travel suites aren't empty they are if there are no bread What do you want to scream when I'm not sure you have it I don't want it we're pretty certain he really did matter to us that eats them. I'll get some more when we get off the motorway only get the tin was all the red ones I think that cool fruits of the forest doesn't entertain down there somewhere you can you can check watch out everything slowing down right could see it break down something but a lease is moving you know it's not over the brake lights are counting car. Where no in a car the dog if only you'd let me make some sandwiches I want to take another half hour it's your fault we're stuck we left and I want to do with this trial. No that was the Satmar say about this traffic congestion they had to leave at the next exit and that ladies and gentlemen is the winner of this week's award for State of the bleedin obvious next exit is a point 6. Acres. Maybe more than nothing in town while moving totally not to come unless you can find a new bed suites don't speak to an upset you. Don't try but a soothing Radio 3 note. It's a nice touch that they have pens and drawing paper for the children not just the children. Push you to making a few corrections to the menu here comes the apostrophe police it's not the apostrophe is it's more lies and lies it says here and we believe them fresh roast chicken a garden vegetable wrap and delicious source but in fact it's this if you can. Polish fella wraps in one paper. One white I've been to can't be the on the menu. Someone else you defacing cafe property down to in 15 minutes to notice we were here that it's better show me vomit incased an Amazon packaging. Me an accurate description of what I just sent back to what's lawfully called the kitchen 3 microwaves in a stack of frozen boxes I'm gonna just have the cheese sandwich one of them a day when ordering. At the time we really shouldn't have stopped I had to get you off the road you turn into Dick docilely when you're hungry thank you muchly Let's get it over should we get a Christmas present here the choice is a 3 foot mic out or a neon Poundland cool isn't our proper joiners oddly cause his research showed there wasn't a huge demand for a branch of placket line services we should take something it's Ok I've open a savings account for and you didn't tell me you weren't remotely interested in anything to do with this baby. Oh Peta sent me a picture of Hermes at the giggles when they say that in church he's captioned waiting for my grandfather he smiled the hood. Was. Just the matter. He would have made it wonderful to have. Him says her it didn't happen. Given the keys. Are you feeling all right I should be asking you that I meant Are you Ok well it really got food poisoning but to drive is your knee holding up soon find out oh there's the chance I'll just nip it again in case we hit more traffic as you're back at the car by by Love You was. You heard. What now. There's a tractor up ahead and a caravan behind it I just see them going around the bend over our Mensa sat nav can suggest a quicker route and says you are on the fastest route and arrival to fortify if it's too late it will be over we prefer no point will be the church already sorting things out can't believe there's so much traffic on these little roads probably tourists it is an area of outstanding natural beauty just past a sign the sorry who knows how. The matter of just I'm just having a moment of it seem familiar we've been here before haven't we yes but not so not since we came back from India 40 years ago and the rest nearer 50. I was such a special time us and our surprise you can remember any of it please we'll look see that sign we walked up to the top and there's a kind of course of that and it was so cool up there after India so fresh having German look oh so my hero this is the silent poo you took we just had. I didn't when we were there you tripped officer admitting you complete being cut into and smelt so different from India to suck you compared to the heavy perfume from hundreds of flowers around the must. The She's platform and I think that was the smell of flowers everyone was not of that happy and so happy especially the Maharishi not surprise with all those superstars booking him the b. And b. Don't you love talking about those days we have many times think back and come back to that nights not again come on come what is lovely remembering better than playing I spy. I was sitting on the veranda you were lying down with that Moody Welsh poet us quick Kilty cousinly declaiming all over the place he was very influenced by Dylan Thomas it was like Terry Thomas after he fell over the incense burner not his teeth. And you suddenly walked out of the darkness towards me I thought I was loose facing which was a definite possibility I had been doing a lot of heavy meditating and strangely I was thinking about you so I wanted if my mind is just pain tricks and you were a mere hours like Shareef in Lawrence of Arabia but you were attached to a flame had Jordi who said she was your girlfriend she was and we were just on the same flight she was hanging on your arm very possessively too vain to wear glasses I was a guide dog I hadn't seen or spoken to you since that happening on High Island. 2 years no mobiles or social media and then those last. Seemed like forever your fault after 5 days together you up and said you were going to San Francisco which I didn't take personally as all everyone went to San Francisco that year now everyone didn't just hit his with trust funds and no work ethic who could swan about in cheesecloth and bangles while the rest of us under weren't a living you could come with me I just got a job on the paper it would have been a good story I was a sports reporter anyway you did not ask me to come with you you know why I was much too young to make a commitment to us or got out thank you very much but you might have told me instead of leaving a note saying it. Been grooving please if I had said I thought I loved you that would have been a commitment is specially if you'd said you felt the same witnessing we would teenagers then the idea of us wanted that at the time we usually have this dangling conversation after 2 bottles of wine and we never remember it the next day nice to see things from your side by side in a car what things did you want to take your hand off my knee Madam did you feel the same from the beginning you know I did I was sorry you left certainly very sorry and I had a feeling of complete joy when I saw you at Rishikesh you didn't look joyful you look slightly cheesed off and you just said Of all the Jen joins and I know you said Have I missed the Beatles and you said I think John's meditating somewhere and half the Beach Boys a mere Pharaoh is still here quite briskly like an information desk but sight in muffled as he was still underneath the Welshman I couldn't tell if you a priest to see me I wasn't sure I was that was to come again it would have been a complete tragedy if we never got back together on the plus side I might have spent my life happily shopping bags for life in the drawer without being told to fold them. Oh gosh that was a long week wasn't it you hardly spirit was much to say was there you spent most of your days curled up on the raggedy tow rope sandaled prehensile feet of Tom Jones or whatever his name was however Yes and he did at the moon mostly in Welsh you were making a lot of noise with that girl just trying to make you jealous were you we were releasing our shack crews It took a while in that heat remember that couple who wanted to take them a hurry she backed away breech I think that might have been George Harrison and Patty boy who he was the captain of a golf club and he wanted the yogi to hand out the cups at the at your prize giving us I know I mentioned that in my copy you did write about me and you Dispatches from the ashram I did. Good there was this gorgeous bird who I dreamed of even when I was awake but who ignored me and maybe cry my sleep I didn't see that because I didn't find it I wanted to stay on but I had to get back to my mom and dad's silver wedding anniversary so you said to how oh and a very loud voice so I don't ever hear it works you suddenly have to go back to it only had a week to get the story that you really are. Oh did you just say that so we could fly back together why would I do that when you barely looked at me for a week where you said they didn't see just next to each other on the plane no I told them not to I said we weren't together I don't want to sit next to you for 9 hours because I would have found it impossible to resist the urge to drop back the seat drag you into my lap and ravage you until the bloke behind complained that he wanted to put up his tray table. Why didn't you say that at the time and would that have helped us get through the flight I thought I'd lost you at Heathrow but you're waiting for me I was waiting for my baggage I was so excited when you asked me if I wanted to lift a town actually you said I've got my money I don't know how I'm going to get back you had that kinky Morgan car beautiful ashtray hysterectomies every bump but you didn't head from London no sense of direction you went down the 8th s.c. We started winding around this country verge through beautiful villages going nowhere for hours you didn't object I was very very happy. Every time I looked at you you were smiling your hair blowing all over the place like a golden storm that was when I realized because you didn't ask for the hold up or rummage around for a scarf like most girls believe me I wanted to I was channeling my inner Foster how do you that explains the go and you had that Zippo lighter and was deep down your jeans till it struck so sexy so achingly Kumar just can't help myself I want to just stand that car with if ever the sun assessing we're just on the spooky road with the tree roots spilling out and branches arching overhead like a tree be heard and there's a hot tub I can't stop there's a car behind what is this lay by because. This is Egypt this is was this is why we will. Go back go back down that route. I think I'll wait a bit not the easiest place to do or you know turn in this traffic. Oh my gosh. I can see the scary trees it's all still here so remarkably are we I 6 true Mary how is just how time to part did really just happen upon it or did you arrange to bring me here as a wonderful surprise I think you might be confusing me with a romantic event planner you didn't you were are I was Valentine's Day recently did you ever intend to go to the christening Yes I did until you decided to come I knew that was not a good idea I wouldn't of course to see you might when I showed you the baby picture you were very upset couldn't risk it so I called Peter when when I went to look like it services I said the traffic was appalling and I wouldn't make it you're right. Started me thinking about what might have been if I had run away to San Francisco you laugh so fast it was scorch marks on the carpet I told you I had arranged to meet everyone there I couldn't let them down you just let me down I was very confused when it was all over the place a mantra of the cereal bowl so I was hoping that I could forget you by banging someone else in box someone else well not for nearly a year because I realized I was pregnant 7 weeks after I'd left here you were pregnant with my baby as Sampras was saying yes and what happened to it to get rid of it now I had a horrible miscarriage you know. You had a miscarriage but I thought that was much much later a year maybe some random Lama the timeline. You could have told me when we met in India. Who really it's hard to chat up line is it oh hi I was pregnant with your baby but I miscarried nice to see you. I'm so sorry. Look when I was told we were both told that the complications of the miscarriage meant I could never have told her. I couldn't tell you then because. Years later and I was afraid you'd hate me. I don't hate you. I'm just desperately sad you carried this with you all this time we could have. Grieved together I was a long way from you from home and I felt so guilty because it was my fault I left you and I wanted to stay with you and I parted like crazy in California I didn't look after myself like castrated can stay if you don't have cavity was it that does not drinking and she had a beautiful healthy baby and I didn't she did all the things I should have done but you didn't know you were pregnant no excuse I was just a reckless stupid teenager if you'd known you were pregnant with my baby would you or wanted to keep it honestly. Possibly not because I thought I had years and years to have babies when I was older when I lost everything shut down for months I could hardly speak I did a terrible thing you wouldn't ever be a father if you stayed with me. Because of his baby made you want to tell me yes because it feels like we're going back somehow to where we were. And you have a right to know which is more important than me being scared of telling you oddly I think I don't know or least suspected but. I didn't think it would help to question you about it and I was so docile by you we would buy each other. Nothing else mattered or even kids or I wanted was you I should thank you not to leave which is what I wanted to do with it's my fault as well it's your fault I ruined your life don't be ridiculous of course you didn't. Try to govern the traffic I'm turning around. If I could time travel back I would have stayed here. You have stayed with me. And having no children means we give all our love to each other. Although I think percentage wise I've always been the major in a while you not so much that nothing would take take take. Like it have you because you bloody are. Doomed to go home now no but you know recognize this part of course this is our place where we really began that was our room over the porch . Is that the amorous ordered. A things your home alone. I can't accept the cold and let him hear us talking in a pub car park no thanks put me down. Suppose sport. Don't go in for drink got a better idea. That spend the night together that's exactly what you said to me in 1968 and I fancy a spot of deja vu. In . The. Reddest. There to. Conversations from a long marriage was written by John every time it starred Joanna Lumley and Roger Allen it was produced by Claire Jones and was a b.b.c. Studios production and. Their. Dance to the yeah. That was the last in the current series perhaps Lee can catch up with earlier episodes on b.b.c. Sounds our historical adventure the secret gas continues after the news the officers assigned to protect the 2 Princesses who've been evacuated to island finds their mission increasingly treacherous but now his Louise Cooper with news of today's Money Box Live Fast reliable board band has become essential for so much in our lives but how speedy is your service and how much are you paying nice and fast with pick fast they say oh no it was rather expensive though 60 pounds a moment 40 percent of all British households are overpaying for their broadband on average 100 pounds a year according to the regulator so how do you get a better deal please email money box at b.b.c. Dock u.k. Or call us in an hours time on over 37010444. B.b.c. New.