The Roswell incident you can see from those how they'd be good at announcing you can yes I mean that's a lot of frogs there isn't it is a big pile of them in before me this full 1000 tons a year consumed in front to scrape dust in fairness a lot of us make right. But does that make you feel a bit squeamish Well I feel. It feels wrong now to be in them I think which is probably why I've never had them not that they go I join you I use holding out a pair of Crocs legs which he's going to throw in the in the pan. Sizzling away they look like what doesn't look like a light pole but with yeah too cold. For something like a little well that's minded Yeah exactly you know you got it right it's good to hold up so that you can write get involved I think and do you take me through eating them yeah go fast before anyone else. I don't want to do it Ok I know that and they know quite ready yet it's no good I love it that's why I say they need to know nobody round up a bit all that's really like a I'm on the back of a little man I think it is it really is I you know in the old version of mousetrap Yes a blue man that used to dive into a bucket Oh yes it looks like enough. They quit for lexically looking I think yeah for always putting garlic in now yeah that would be delish it fit you awful and stuff like that thing now what. They really rubbery looking. Oh no. Look I gritted can't believe how just like little legs they look I thought I don't know what I was thinking about it. They are just light fronts like do you think it would be do you think it would be easier to deal with if they. In Pads Yes legs there was singled while those the Hawks Yes States. Have pockets in case you have Ok problem but we. Could be implement so one of the great if things go did we get how it's all right hands if you feel contact Yeah yeah on up yeah. I look. Still Alive bounding around a little Khalfan it take the meek up oh yeah right but I was just giving you know your 1st 1st nibble there we go you can't taste anything that was it. It tastes like can't really taste you think about it I. Need stitches it's got the consistency of like a well. Yeah it's something that's what all right let me go almost Mollusca Yeah it is you know. Scallop and you if you do you love these it's taking a massive I mean I will not go on I'm on any more than about that now I'm just I'm impressed though because what you've taken the shins off yet and now you go in for the thought looks to me like you're going to finish both I'm going to both legs yeah that's terrific but yeah it is it's very you know Margaret I wouldn't choose it I want. I mark as easy as I. Like to not want Yeah you know you did yeah I was setting for you yeah. Now it's like not easy I. Know my God refer. Well I know I did I know but seeing you do it in. Reflection as I may or the like it's you the relishes injury thing that very good Johnny you've done a lovely job there are there right now that was done very well I suspect but on have another. If you're on holiday in France would you bother with it and not have snails Yeah but I think I should leave them I didn't like them particularly No now I would leave you behind what you gave it a good try anyway so I'm going to ask then you're Marks out of 10 for trying frogs legs for the 1st time. $66.00 out of 10 projects with. Ok let's talk about life skills you are capable man but I want to remind you at this point your wife is here. I think no I think I am I think I'm quite useless so yeah as a but you can make things and you are remarkably skilled with your hands yeah I said Well it depends what you you've got to define your terms I am guess very artistic and I can do that I'm very good cartoonists I don't. Pursue it as one of the I used to but I'm good model maker I could do lots of and I said I was going to pursue a career in special effects stayed with and kind of worked under him as a mentor Christopher Tucker who did the makeup for the Elephant Man you know I had been in correspondence with him because I was making my own models and special effects and then he wrote out the blue and said you want to come and apprentice with me and I felt I could not do it so I went and it was in the late 1009 stayed in his house in pound bomb and I was fed with these ladies would kind of walked around this big huge mansion and bring me my food and I would spend all day in the workshop slash molding all the masks for the all the tours all around the world of the fans for the opera so I was doing Michael Crawford's face because he did that yes I and in my room at night I slept with the head of Gregory Peck from the Boys from Brazil with a net ripped out and the elephant. No room in the room and after about a week I went to get out so I left in the middle and I run a taxi and went whoa whoa and I never knew what happened to me I was just like great story for this is just weird the am I doing and I'm being paid on my there was no talk of that ever and I was too embarrassed to say what's the arrangement. Much better in those circumstances to leave in the middle of the night I always I didn't know what to do it was kind of terrified I was young I was a little but I felt at the time when it was an opportunity how could I not do it I mean some people had it been their thing that's a dream come true which of course you asked by someone like that but yeah but the and the artistic end of things you create even if you're very capable you know you sort of more standard life skills you're not so much no interest in a call I'm maintaining the house or doing any kind of a koan in any of that you told me I was surprised that surely you told me you'd never driven a car or had a driving lesson. You know at any time now so we sent you for one. Why did you never learn to drive I don't know I mean I think when you how old can you be when you 1st got you 1717 I think I was bang on the 17th birthday I was I got a provisional license and then didn't ever do anything with it I think it might have coincided with having a really bad car crash with my granddad Ok which might subpoena me I'm not I'm never thought of this now but my wife tosspot and I thought oh yeah kind of and she would mulling over it perhaps it was a link to well I'm not driving one of these death traps ever again I mean we was a robin reliance so that might be explain why. It crashed but you know we had a really horrific crash are all fine but yeah we hit this side of the road in Rob and reliance and you literally like Dukes of Hazzard when upside down rolling on its Yeah I mean they are once they're on this side they are basically a tube Yeah. Well I don't know about the back it was quite horrible you know wow but all fine we'll jump how I now feel really bad that we sent you want to talk you know I did tell you were the one I didn't know you were reading you know of us about I was very nervous yes just the idea of because I 1st some reason didn't think it would be on roads I thought I thought it would be in like a confined I couldn't air spaces so there were lots of how much of a budget do you think. You thought you'd be taken off to it like a special truck would yes yeah it is somewhere where there's no other possibility of seeing people up all cars where we recorded it so let's just have a listen to your 1st experience of driving a car. Now we're stuck with full control so yeah yeah you know which controls which which pedals which. Brake and. For this looks pretty good on the name of the. Pretty good the wrong way round Yeah I just basic movements we're going to put away from here you know I've been on the road find a speed some point Ok now we're going to pull away where is your blind spot. And I can see is it the back left there not enough bad but right now I really do throw my seatbelt but he was so when you're ready we choose a neutral and brake here switch on the engine which we're going to turn to keep forward no not here we go. That's. All of that trick humors g.m.t. Nice engine we. Can't let it sit for you you know clutch don't gently brake to stop the thing into neutral Yeah. I was that no push to move in a parish or a 1st time in charge of a car and you faggot Yeah it was fine it was I thought the mechanics so right you know so far so good now when you're ready because of course everything would do no no again. So when I would go put in we get in 2nd gear pull in Ok if of how fast you know again only gives us much gas as you feel comfortable you know at this point. You know I stayed you know we do here on the bin before we get 2nd here yeah it was a little bit more gas no don't go for 2nd gear and don't think you would leave that no pull in just after the call she had to sing off to get. Over the really. True too. Oh and yeah you just went into much the cobra's knows who didn't know but what if. They go well congratulations you. Got your 1st lesson you got up to 2nd gear Yeah in a London street where yeah it was a lot of not all of the street some of it on the London. Admittedly have a John my source was very calm and took me 3 Yeah it was good it was a good thing I mean I wouldn't want someone who would know what you're doing. Yeah I thought I would be more panicked than I I was but it was I was alright I well I think I was quite I was my heart was pounding but it was it was just the thought of you know this is really how these people come in by me and you know it was quite scary to be in charge of out of Kabul I wasn't really in charge because he could have grabbed it but he wasn't it would he would have been grabbing the wheel and you when you know it wasn't your street that you had your 1st lesson your 1st bit of driving was you know it was down the street web Steve Pemberton lives we could. Hoping to see him he would have loved a fair No not if you could you know notice that no I just love the idea of you mounting the curb outside Steve Pemberton he was enjoying house watching me and pointing and laughing Yeah but yeah and I didn't know I was doing it I told him after the event do you think you'll do it again. Yeah I think well it will just require the doing of it that's all it takes isn't it I was able to do it and there was a thing that clicked about an hour and a half in on our 20 minutes so I just got to be bolder but if your instructor shouted Balder that might be the you're about to hit one yeah. So you know I did enjoy it and he did maybe think I actually could do it I'm not such a little old Mr Magoo might be able to do it excellent Well sounds like you know you're both back safely. Back so with your marks out of 10 please for your 1st of a driving lesson I was a 99 out of 10. Now we talked a little bit already a bit about your creative abilities. What about d.i.y. Do you do any. No. Nothing No You see I plucked out right never changed now you've never changed the place we don't need to change the game audience we don't know throw the item away you thought you were that's how they built gardening. Done some gardening you know Ok Well you've sort of already alluded to the idea you don't think of yourself as a handyman no knots no thing come quite useless actually the old time that anything goes wrong our cook a broke we have to ring a man he came out and it was 80 pound call out and he only Aegis which he only get at the mains. I'm going to charge a month going to challenge an. 80 quid to go yeah that's as good as it gets for me and so when you say anything happens spring a chap yeah somewhere very much yes all right well look I'm going to get you to do something now that I think is a useful skill All right we're going to put some wallpaper up right. Never done wallpaper I'm not Ok Yeah well this is I find this could be quite dotty I might be I might be really good at it yeah yeah yeah I think there's a good chance let's go over here now we've got to go to Wall go to white coats and a good case you get any medicine you he's like roll variety sketch. So you don't love will ever know you expert I've done some but have read a long time ago right and what I did is I had quite a white room and I had a look at it and I thought we could hang the wall paper in strips up and down yeah I knew truth the traditional method and then I looked and I thought that is going to take a very very long time and so why do I laid it horizontally. Around the road is that wrong so wrong so. We would then I would know that we were there really long talk paper goes up and down right the reason being that. Once you've glued up what turned out to be about 25 minutes a stretch. You can you can I was hopeless at it but I'm your God So let's unveil hey we've got some very tasteful well paid to look at this yeah now I quite fancy sort of it's like a dark purple with this silvery flower motif if I want you would get in that posh character and so house yes yeah absolutely out the smarts and yeah and of the square so the 1st thing is do I have to measure it what do I do yes I can do in Italy squares we should measure I mean what we haven't got I realize I'm should have is a tight measure. But what we could do is we could just hold it up yeah and there's a lot I got a lot is yeah health and safety and we got a feel it should be you that goes all over the world yeah. And there right here we go we'll mark it off by just once you do a little tear in it or fold it got a pencil No I'm hold I'm pricing the ladder Thank you. Right there we owe you could you tell me exactly how deed Somehow I think it a bit of spare and then leak and then we cut off put a bit of a fold there that will be all our indicates a right if you want one and so I've got a lot of would you be happy with me coming around doing this for you. Know I know absolutely no point simply if you know if. I try I'm going to cut the Ok I'll move it's probably like a right over. There of biggest. Tiny what you've got there are nails pulled the glue all over the floor I really. I would be like. All really have to go everywhere. See the croft stuff there with the sis is I'm not an idiot are you surprised I stood in the blue I. Stood in a did you see that in no no you're right here ah you know someone come I'm free. I'm not I'm not glued a kite right then where's the what do we do well the clues here we've got a couple of brushes that tell you we'll be on the floor of the book I think I think that's go with what's on the floor yes claims plenty there plenty that so I'm applying quite a thin amount you are going kind of going to be thick. Off realize something again I was not the only race yet this is your experience well I was slightly trying to help and I've used made it worth of snogged. Used the brush that you meant to use for tidying up the afterwards and smoothing down I've now to wrench that in there I what I should have done really is just let me get on with it I know I use my challenge and now I'm just left with the brushes with all the stuff on and I well I'm a fearing is it all going bubbly and and watery and look at the bottles in it oh yeah no a house is going to think this is too much on me too much paste Yes I think once it's on the wall what a new smooth with this I saw things covered in with that I think I'm. I think without you I would be really good at yes. Yeah nearly done good flick kid play read what Yeah I'm writing Oh I am so yeah oh god right it's curling in on itself do you think by now I could ask the lady of the house for a cup of tea. Now I do know that right because this is a long strip a oh yeah to pick it up when it's covered in the glue yes is quite tricky so there's a technique Oh that fit well what it is is you fold it over on itself no you don't you do. And then once it's up once it's up a sort of 2 thirds its normal length then you carefully unfold at the hobby write us asking for trouble well you don't have to do it we can try and pick it up as Ace but are you sure you fold on itself the glue to the blue. That says people I try to people watching is going to look at these idiots I see you really think. This is all turned a bit Pantai resinous I know you just folded the leaf I think leave some Clearly bit so we can both follow. Backward now it was steady don't fall I had I I don't know I was shot once and so on right Ok I only saw you in the blue light and then and then you lift that up right and then. The wrong end the wrong end of. The water I didn't. Run away oh the pot is the way I thought I'm going to pull out I'm good go see you know go again Godfrey said messing with the magnets I never heard the more ticks of the patterns the wrong way it's a patent I know more about through the May I'm going with it can you manage it would you want to go up the ladder not policy to you but I mean see if you let me save us Ok What's that bucket I don't why Dally part of a lap at the top shall I give the oval out all put yes it had told a little and what I people call Perry coming I and showing get it try and get it oh no no no I didn't lead with the edge of the wall about an inch over everybody yeah oh there we go Ok Is that straight there one your saw I can't say because I'm holdin the lie in the daily now cause I'm a whole stay still I I'm using this faintly Bluey brush How can it became worse as it goes down oh well we've got off lucky on the him over the thought I was be pulling before only be. Caught Oh I lie every Go sit up again Ok Right now I'm going to glue it to the top of the building do you need more i m going down the lot is yet I go to unpeel the back right far up you go to yet Ok. B b Thank you. Want to talk I can't talk tell down yeah I never paid stop words I Ok What was that from the center our friends around us and. 70 feet I thought I was but in my king. That's gone very smoothly and I think most of the credit for that must go to you Well thank you very much look it up that's not bad is it it's not about theory. I'm trying to look at it and think what it would I be happy with it. In your own heart in my own home and the answer to that yes yes I was. Hoping you got to think well I've done it myself I had to go and you look at it and always think when I least I try to do it if you think it's something you try again given the chance now night. Well out of gas please your marks out of 10 to putting it will paper for the 1st time Harry enjoyable I'll give it 10 out to Ted Ted out of. The receipt for throwing yourself in I mean you were a bit squeamish about the frogs legs I'm very very nervous about the driving like yes I was went January and all that remains for me to say is Rishis me thank you very much for being my guest I've never seen Star Wars Thank you. I've never seen Star Wars was presented by anyone anyone among you just listening yes you with the glasses that's right Marcus Brigstocke and it was produced and created by Bill day next week absolutely legend Astley Dame Kelly Holmes tries her 1st deep fried Mars Bar None What do they call that thing when you listen and watch people eating food but mac bomb No it's goal is a word isn't it not got one he's the fellow with the glasses it will come to me in a minute I promise. We're in the city of dreaming spires Oxford the comedy club is on tour to showcase Outstanding Comedy Nights around the u.k. It's got closer. It's painted black and it's going to lose a full ascension in Brighton and you just know something so it's going to happen daring and so we Lions get the backstage scoop from the comedians I think that you're a good man I said crickets and sanctions is such a magical gig and I'm not a person to use words like that comedy club extract the circuit I love to love that story come out next Tuesday night at 1030 on b.b.c. Radio 4 extra. This is. The. Most bang it's muck bang you can Google it and you can go on have a look online a promise you it's not rude I think well some of the might be rude so if they felt you find one that is rude I apologize but it's videos of people just eating lots of food and not doing it in necessarily a gross way or a competitive way you can watch them eat food I just looked at one he said over 3000000 views a woman a in a pizza incredible times anyway I digress the comedian Deborah Francis White tells the true life story of her search for her birth mother this is not only interesting it's actually really really funny it's called Tepper Frances white rolls the dice. We present Deborah from just one rolls the dice episode what kind of please welcome to the stage Deborah Francis wines. Hello hello hello for this episode I'm going to ask the audience who looks like them Mom just give us a cheer if you look like. You know southern town but. Like a mash up of the 2 like one of those i Pad apps you know. Does anyone not like anybody in the family. What you're into monster you are adopted. Well not. As far as you know I am because I'm adopted and not all parents are is almost as mine I know this because when I was 12 years old I had a pen pal set up by mutual family friend and I wrote to her and said Uncle Tom said we have something in common because we're both adopted and she wrote back and said I'm not adopted and I wrote back and said I've checked with Uncle Tom And you definitely are the other from her again the now I was adopted as a new born baby so I've never met anybody or even seen a picture of anybody biologically related to me and my parents always told me I was new that say you're special because we specially want to choose some people have children accidentally not ass we have to fill out a form the 1st and the story went that 9 months later as long as you would wait for a baby anyway the phone rang it was the hospital and they said we have a baby girl for you but you've got to come and get her right now so my mother and father got in the car and drove 45 minutes away to Redcliffe in Brisbane to collect me and the 1st time they saw me my father always used to say you were blue with the cold and so thin. That happened to tell you that for nothing I am that night we went home for the 1st time as a family and my mother had a dream that I should be called Deborah and that was the story of my adoption now my mother always said I was more like her than her biological children and this in fact is true see my sister and brother were both born the regular way that my mother and I love stories and literature my sister was good at math math was our nemesis math blighted my otherwise academic report card. My sister took 5 years of sewing at secondary school on purpose she didn't have to sew and she sewed Anyway I had to take 6 months of sewing. And at the end of that period all my samples were dirty and tear stained like my mother I had no Blue Peter skills. No I do or my sister but we are total opposites to this day she lives on a rural Australian vegetarian paradise retreat. I live in Camden Town and love. And prefer my steak medium rare. She's always stroking a duck or eating a vegetable in some ways I'm like no one else in my family for example I am the only perform my 1st performance was my interview nursery school show I was a horse. Horse number 7. And I remember very clearly there were 10 of us little horses doing a little prance see dance think Gangnam style and I was 3 years old in a white one and I remember the audience campaigning and sharing a lawful thing and I remember all the other little horses dancing off and I remember thinking this Saudi answer is not done with this dance. And the Saudi and it is not done with me so I don't stand in the audience clap more and I don't storm the audience loved more and I don't start and the teacher had to come and lead me away. Or so I was the only one in my family who really really had an obsession with living in London now I was born and raised in Australia and I know I don't sound especially Australian but I read a lot of Enid Blyton as a child and I picked up the accent from the books. So so being a bit different I couldn't help wondering if there was a biological mother or father or sister or brother like me and I don't think it matters how successful your doctrine is and my doctrine was successful you can't help wondering what's behind the curtain and in my case I wanted was there a big family of people playing games after supper laughing and if I went through the curtain would they say oh it's you we've been waiting for you there's a chair with your name on it sit down and when I was 18. I decided to find my birth mother's name I rang the adoption department in Australia and the lady said we can't tell you her name but if she then calls up we will have to give her your name do you want that oh no I'm not ready for that Never mind don't tell me well we can't tell you something's we can't tell you that she was 21 and single and your father was 30 and marriage to someone else now I knew that my my parents told me that I think parents told me that so I know she had no choice but to give me up my mother used to say she must have loved you a lot to give you away because she wouldn't have wanted to and the lady seemed almost put out that I knew this she started shouting rammed them facts at me she was 5 foot 9 did you know that. I did not say Ms Lady she had brown hair and brown eyes did you know that I did not same as me and when you were born she called you noting now I didn't know that I didn't even know she gave me a name I said thank you for telling me that's that's very helpful I went to hang up when White I can tell you her 1st name because that's not identifying But I will have to put you on hold because that information is in a more secret file. I'm sorry I can't tell you you are an exception to the rule why do you because your birth mother's 1st night is so unusual as to be identifying and I thought well there you will oh my birthmother is Jim Bain Grio. It's good she's giving me away she's done so much for the sisterhood. Within a couple of years ago I found out that my birth mother had never asked my name and I thought if she doesn't ask why now I don't think she's going to I think I can roll the dice so I said to the lady go on tell me her name and she said your birth mother's name is Devon you lately are pole. That's a name isn't it Devon you Larry Leopold now I googled that with a beating heart but. Nothing there was a long line of you lay Leopold's in Devon and Cornwall going back to the 1700s in the censuses or landed gentry big houses lots of servants sure thing we all saw that coming to an absence. But no Devon you lately or anywhere I googled once a year every year but nothing until October 23rd 2012 I did my annual search for her name not expecting to find anything and there it was someone had archived the electoral records from the time of my birth Amazingly I could see that my birth mother Devon had been living in Bruce been with her father Giles her mother all 3 her brothers Derek and Duncan and her sisters Danielle and Deborah the name my mother had dreamed for me coincidence most certainly. Now I immediately called my mother who became a Watson to my Sherlock Holmes or very least a painful to my Danger Mouse She looked at the address I'd found and said the hospital you were born in was 45 minutes away from here they were much closer hospitals find out if there was an unmarried mothers home there and I checked and there was. I went back to the archives website to look for photos and I found one of a young woman taken in 1940 like a marked the name was Henrietta and I immediately knew that this was the 1st person I'd ever see biologically related to me why. Eyebrows. Now most people's eyebrows go straight across or over not mine my eyebrows go up and out like Henrietta's eyebrows went up and out this is the 1st time I'd see my eyebrows on another human being also I have a very high forehead My forehead is actually Hof my face now I discovered is that with a sweet pea sized fringe and Henry it's a poll from 1940 new the same trick. The high forehead of women throughout the ages has understood the value of the sweet pea sized fridge. As exciting as this was after a while Henrietta did seem a bit black and white and dead. And I wanted to see somebody related to me now and I thought well look polls not a very common name and Brisbane's not a very big city pretty much anyone in Brisbane called poll will be related to me so I went on Facebook and I clicked 1st person to come up was a guy called Clint Po he kind of looked like a surfer dude and he was wearing a t. Shirt that said you know I'm going to suck itself. Oh God this is why you don't know other people do what you know you should do because I'm curious this is why you don't look at my 1st thought was that the one advantage of being related to this man would be that I would be legally obliged not to suck it either. I went to the next person he was called poll and his profile picture was of a pople boy Raissa com with a spoiler on the back and in his albums he had photos of the open empty boot and underneath one of his friends had written if you go to the pictures of that engine by my Yeah Mike can you put him up might I have my I came off Facebook discovering. The so I just googled polled response 1st person to come up was a guy called David Poe. On Linked In I thought encouraging got a job. He had the word optimized in his job description 7 times I suppose he's not going to walk to Mars itself. I'm didn't know what to do I was scared to look on but I couldn't live the rest of my life thinking I'd seen 3 people related to me and I was sucked at salvaging by optimize I didn't know what to do so I did what he would do I hired a private detective. It was 3 am my time they were all wide awake in a straight. Ahead of the guy based on his name generous Milla job done the now how did you expect to pay for a private detective to find your long lost family 150 bucks. Promises like that can you afford not to hire a private detective gage in a soap opera nobody wants. I told generous Miller I didn't want him to contact anyone I just wanted to find out which ones they were so I could have a look to be honest 150 bucks I would be pleased to be just proved I wasn't related to suck itself. And I had one more piece of information for him I found out that my grandfather joyless pole seemed to have $7000.00 in a dormant bank account according to a list published by the bank on the internet so jars got on with his private detective work and I went back to mine and all I could think about was Henrietta poll from 1914 because if she had these eyebrows and I have these eyebrows somebody else called Pole must have these eyebrows so this time I searched very differently I was just looking for people who polled in Australia and I was only interested in one thing eyebrows thick eyebrows thin eyebrows high eyebrows low eyebrows until there she was only brows that went up and out Alice and Pearl on Facebook I said to my husband's home that's my cousin at. Yes she also had a high forehead but she didn't know the flip side French trick. But I thought maybe if she had a cousin to teach her she would I started going through Allisons 52 albums and well apart from the only thing we didn't seem to have a lot in common I mean she looked fine but she was spending Christmas in a north Queensland backpackers with guys in man Katy's and girls in Ok nice to listen no judgement I get it but these were people I'd moved hemispheres to avoid you know they just weren't my gang and I thought that's because she's my cousin right it's like their cows and I probably got a sister out there somewhere I mean I must be like my sister I bet she's living here in London she's probably like a theatre designer or a fashion designer or something creative but not competitive with me. I will also accept slightly less successful comedian. Now it was at this point my private detective generous Mina called me he told me he'd found out that my birth mother's marriage name was Rinehart right this is it I thought if that's how married one that will be my sister's one I can find her I put Rinehart Australia into Facebook nothing I thought well that's because she's in London which established that why would she be in Australia but there were no Reinhart's anywhere except Germany where the name was from I had looked behind the curtain and there wasn't a big family of people playing games after supper and laughing there were no siblings at all and for the 1st time in my life I sat down on my bed and I cried about my adoption. And my husband Tom said well maybe your sister got married and changed the name and that's where you can find Oh don't be ridiculous job you don't start your fashion label up on the a married name. I couldn't accept it I knew I had a sister I stayed up all night googling I found new places to put inverted commas where no need of a put them before until it's 3 am there it was what Devon you lonely a poll had disappeared in Brisbane Australia Devon new layer Neil had popped up in New Zealand she had married Brad Neil of course she had a problem exactly like Brad Pitt. And my fashion design a system was back on so I went back to my cousin Alice and profile and I realised I could look through her friends list she had no privacy settings on Facebook at all to check yours because someone in Melbourne could be doing a show about you. She didn't have any friends called Devon but she did have a friend called Debbie Debbie rich and I thought that could be my auntie Deborah Devon system I searched for Debbie rich Brisbane and out came hundreds of entries for an incredibly famous one. Polls out some. Old champagne polls out so now that has got to be a win in the long lost family lottery. But from the photos Well they were $21.00 for the one armed world champion pole dancer and another for a middle aged picture frame in prison and the picture frame is eyebrows went up and out boom so the picture framer is my aunty but you can provide not related to the pole dancer I could still be related to the pole dancer she could be my cousin you become president. And I was at this point generous Miller called again and he confessed he was wrong about Rinehart but proudly announced that Devon had moved to New Zealand called your grandfather what I said according people are used to cover story what do you really. Are recorded. You can have the. People because. People want to hear the recording Yes yes I do. And it went like this I was to polish Gerry smell up now that is the worst cover story I've. Got a story to tell you have $70000.00 in a dormant bank account here are. Now off guard the banks were ready accordingly and gyrus who's clearly been pretending to be from the bank seems to panic a bit oh you've got it and your God You know you had it belongs you got it that's got already animal it's not having got to go along you got it you got it anyway like a devil. Good story really is very poor get really moved to New Israel and here's a guy they have an address for the good news for the jeans 90 is old shop attack so I fired my private detective because let's face it man is a loose cannon and says I start going through Debbie's friends list on Facebook Auntie Debbie the picture frame and she does know someone called Devon Devon chan but her privacy settings super high so I search Devon Charland New Zealand and there's one match on the whole of the Internet a picture of a woman the right age she's wearing can also send she's got a fringe so I can't do the only brown thing and I guess it could be my birth mother but I don't feel anything when I see her. I mean I know not everyone looks like their mother but I think if you're adopted you're short. And the weird ciggies that this photo is on a website for a primary school in rural New Zealand she lives rural and furthermore it says that she is the financial manager of the primary school so she lives Rooney and she does math for a living Surely that can't be my birthmother but then I see the same Devon child and has an account on Pinterest which is a scrapbook website where you pin pictures of things you like and her username on this site has a number at the end of it. And that number correlates with my birth mother's birthday. That's got to be her reason it's definitely my birth and I can see she's pinned 16 things on her page and I'm one click away from seeing what they are so I clicked and there they were 16 things 16 things my birth mother loved enough to put on Pinterest each and every one patchwork quilt. Saying patchwork quilt 61 patchwork quilt so she was really. Just like I have found my sister's birth mom. And she also learnt 13 things you know we have to like everything on the Internet now I clicked I mean to be honest I wasn't hoping for much and I saw something she'd liked on Pinterest that made my blood run cold. Because she'd write a quotation that read good mothers have messy kitchens sticky floors overflowing washing baskets and happy children and she couldn't give their babies to strangers . The 1st time in my life I felt angry about my adoption I mean clearly she'd been a good mother to somebody stitching them quilts to keep them or and she'd obviously forgotten about me and I thought I'm definitely not going to corner now I mean I I feel nothing when I see it we've got nothing in common and now I'm actually feeling angry about the whole thing that's it and trouble was while I had started writing the show. Was I mean you can't for show can you that would be the wrong thing to do . I mean comedians are terrible people it is the kind of thing they do all the time but you can't I mean audience is a terrible people too because you will have I did that. And suddenly I had to ring up there and then I didn't have Devon's number but I had my auntie Debbie's the picture frame I looked at the number I looked at the phone I thought well I don't get a 2nd self. So I dialed Debbie here Hi Debbie My name's Deborah before we speak I just check that your maiden name was pole Yes And do you have a sister called Devon about 10 years older Yes I don't want to shock you Debbie but I think I'm the baby that Devon gave away what makes you think that because I am to 7 ever talk about me to she says she hopes I'll call her she hopes I want to have a never gave away a baby when you're living in the house with her at the time yes but she never had a bite me back then she went to live in a flat for a while and she didn't she went to a number of others imo God she's not in the Senate she's have a sing out father he's not well he's got a heart condition it's not eternal you all go over there I'll tell it you story and a call you back in 2 hours. Hello Apparently your story does check out. About this incident. She says she's excited to talk to you she's been Widing for this phone call all. Actually we're 10 days when she gets back to New Zealand. And I was so thrown by excited in 10 days such unlikely bedfellows or I could say was Debbie can you just tell me one thing do I have a sister Cujo living in Spain. Not all. Things to die. For me to have 3 sisters and one of them lives in Scotland 10 days 10 days I could have something terminal I could have knowing in days to live I've got a good mind to leave a message on my altar in machine saying tonight oh I died yesterday. My friend Monique are staying with me don't threaten don't answer I want to come it's you can't be here it's only day 5 it's all one time I never rings about it does it does we're not going. To. Cost so I might if you call me I'm going to have a chat. Don't answer it well it can't be her again she's just left a message to come oh it's Ha 0 7 I don't you want to. Just left a message sorry sorry I was in the shower 1st thing I said to my birth mother is a lawyer. I think oh well if she'd raised me I would have lied to a 100 times by now I just want to have a chat Oh I've got to go out in about 20 minutes because I've got to go into a comedy gig Oh you're coming. To talk about me you've got no idea. How much shorter I've had a happy childhood and was having a good life and and she said Oh. I know. I know. But I realized I should probably ask a question I didn't know the answer to was it hard to give me away No I really wasn't. Too sure what was it was a bit like ringing up anyway. Random in the New Zealand phone number I'm saying please to the decisions are you nothing you regret. To my sisters know about me oh no it's never really. Going to bring it up i'll. Tell you it's just that. Debbie said I have a sister living in Scotland I got to the end refers to leverage to comedy Oh yes. I thought they you ha it's Kate who's like me she's probably like before she believes that a Brit diskette live in Edinburgh. So we agreed to speak again at the weekend and that night I looked for Kate Neil my sister living in Scotland on Facebook where it said she what for but. I clicked the link and it said National Adoption week let but not always help you I don't do child. 2 you say it's never come up about when you want to start working for but not those signs still early in. The weekend it's. Ok if you watch you are so funny you know how Arius awesome daughter has been to the doctor be funny like that part he said. She sent me pictures of herself by email while we were talking on the phone I looked a lot like Devon I look a lot more like you have I do have you in the picture on the Internet. I want to know school's website I sent to the link. Me slightly these pictures think maybe looking for their birth mothers. I cried because I felt nothing for that woman turns out I felt nothing for the Minister of assistants. The next time I had an email from Devon she wrote I'm happy you had a wonderful childhood but I am filled with loss and regret for what might have been and the sooner she said it I didn't want to feel it I wrote back and said Devon you rolled the dice for sure. But you have children and grandchildren who love you and need you and my parents were given a baby that they wanted and cherished and I am having a happy and exciting life you rolled the dice for sure but you rolled a double 6 for all of us don't be sad about that and she wrote back and said I've decided I must have made the right decision after all because if I hadn't given you away you wouldn't be the person you are and I just love you you've become. And I rang my mother and I told her that as I did I realized it was a message one mother to another. And my mother took it that way and she said well you told Devon from b. Thank you. Because you were the best present we ever got and that was it. We were out we'd done that or we would have except Devon knew I was doing this shows that she tried to help Now her husband is a genealogist he does family trees as a hobby I know it's on the nose is too much but he does so she started telling me helpful stories about the family like now I have a great great grandfather who was a highway man sent to Australia as a convict and he was a terrible highway man he held up a coach and robbed a woman who had lots of cash on her but he didn't take any of that he took 3 and 6 and 2 silver symbols I thought bloody hell even he like sewing was. This also meant I saw a card written by my grandmother Audrey now I look more like Audrey than anyone and she died in the 1990 s. And this cause that she had written what was in my handwriting so that night I couldn't sleep and it was very light and I saw that Devon was awake in New Zealand her little green light glowing on Facebook so I instant messaged her high and she said shouldn't you be asleep 20th of November 201-2324 am the 1st moment my 1st mother ever mother to me and for the 1st time I decided to trust her I asked her Do you think Audrey would have liked me and she said Oh Deborah how could anyone not like you I already love you. Then she said Your sisters are so excited about you my sisters Kate Emma and Mel but not as work at each other and a beautician who specializes in eyebrows was I phoned my sister Kate in Scotland but we were so happy you found us months are happy but do you want to me. I'd love to have a January. Christmas I'll still be there engineering will be there when you How do you think everyone feel if I can ever. Got sick can you just tell me one thing this is going to sound good do you think I'm soft show well I just play games all the time. So I bought a plane ticket to New Zealand went to the airport and rolled the dice. Using a different from the one with the 4 by difference is what you also see you go up and Alex. Juiced by a Linux user so radio production for b.b.c. Radio 4. Next week on Deborah Frances White Rose the dice the story of Deborah's teenage years as a Jehovah's witnesses I've heard that one is funny. It's also really really uncomfortable listening I really recommend it that sit that I. Am going home where I can turn my heating on the white home using my telephone I know it because I'm a celebrity thank you so much for coming in joining me this week it's been an absolute blast I have been in late this has been the comedy club on b.b.c. Radio 4 extra. It's dark it's cold it's creaky it's. Have. To be. Let me do another series of rewind a show which gives me the keys to the most exciting. In the world. The stories and themes of the week in the park strong the brick is being transformed into. The most . With me Greg James. And we journey into space next then the architect so David Chipperfield chooses the pioneer of modern architecture in great lives in half an hour later a story of intrigue betrayal rubber puppets. Heads to Moscow to see if the Russians succeeded with their puppet version spitting in Russia is at half past 1. Journey into space the world in peril broadcast in 1955 and set in the unimaginable future of 1972 today Jack Evans reveals the Martians Arthur invasion plans to let me. Journey towards. The b.b.c. Presents a jet more grounded in the. Jet Morgan and his crew were aboard a Martian asteroid which was on its way through space to join the Martian invasion fleet However jets with the aid of the recorded voice of the Martian thought to be aboard the asteroid managed to stop the asteroid flies but the diesel a Russian was so rapid that the ship sustained considerable damage to its information and patted them the oddest man who'd been a prisoner of the Martians a great many years received injuries from which he died Meanwhile Michonne lemmie wondering through the winding car doors which Honeycomb the asteroid's sudden it came upon the Martian quarters and found the door open they went inside and had a force about a familiar voice telling them to climb and what about the colony now there is no such thing now the other is no longer sending ships to the moon the place has been evacuated How about the Earth itself 100000 conditioned personnel of being landed to date they are there living among normal people just waiting for the invasion to start they know exactly what to do when it does taking over the earth will be an easy matter 90 percent of the population won't even know what has happened they'll be no bloodshed no fighting about how could you avoid it quite easily Mr Mitchel that still doesn't tell me how when you were back on Earth either of you ever watched television course we did not get away from it in every home. In every home in the Tele cinema restrooms works canteens schools hospitals restaurants don't see what this has to do with conquering the television is the most important weapon a dart is supposed What are you talking about Champ Surely you haven't forgotten the famous hypnotism incident of 6 years ago what was your name yeah bro that it gave electron hypnotic medicine as it was relayed throughout the British Commonwealth You mean they get to put people to sleep just by looking at them and talking to him from a tell us screen Yes and more likely to forget it you'll remember that Professor Brewer had incredibly strong powers as a hypnotist he had only to stare fixedly at the camera for a few minutes and speaking as soft and soothing way to have half his viewers falling asleep that's right didn't take more than a couple of seconds in some cases prefers the brute that spent some years on models . The volume was taken to the red planet he was an ordinary medical student but on me he was conditioned trained as a hypnotist and returned to Earth to practice his art and make a name for himself and he certainly made one but I wouldn't like to repeat it here his appearance on t.v. On a worldwide link up was engineered by us you mean you fixed it of course we wanted to carry out of the experiment it worked beautifully and it worked so well with a trained Earthman you don't need me to tell you how it will work when a Martian to whom hypnotism is commonplace carries out a similar telecast or law and how.