Why not tell the truth . Yes well, older teenagers will lose any trust in their parents for lying and then it will be very difficult to simply establish contact with the teenager. Is there a certain age among children, arthur, when you need to be careful when introducing a new member . Any family true well, that is, if a child is in acute puberty, it is just as risky as if the child is six years old, just different risks, wait, the teenager is already used to 14 years. Heres to a certain model of the world. Everything is already settled for him. Actually his mom, right . Yeah, it seems like this is the line that runs here. Uh, direct collisions are very common. This is another kind of jealousy. In general, a teenager, maybe, well, yes, but again, its not the end of the world if the child is made to understand that mom is not going anywhere. Well that is mom also pays attention, moreover, teenagers, especially older ones, do not always require attention. They are already slowly beginning to separate from their parents. Here they are in general, dear. I will endure less. Your brain. Yes, he says, the mother of a teenage son, and in general, even the teenager is not lying. Eh, just happy with this information in general, again. Yes, if everything is fine with him, everything is fine, he is already glad to have a little distance, because teenagers still love freedom, gifts should be given. Heres a new family member. Or will it already be such, but bargaining, bribery with sad consequences, gifts can be given as long as it does not turn into direct. Well, in return, that is, i wont Pay Attention to you. Ill just give you a gift. This is what you can do. Well, that is , a gift should not be a substitute for attention and warmth; if there is attention, if there is warmth, if there is a good relationship, then the gift will definitely not spoil anything. And if the person milena meets understands that you are her person, they will also have children of their own. Well, that is, with previous marriages, then at what point should you introduce the children or at least talk about the fact that these are now yours . In general, somewhere dear relatives. Girl, if this happens before they become related. Well, that is, even at the stage of some joint trips. Yes, there, uh , trains to nature or on the way to the cinema, that is, the territory, of course, of course, are welcome. I just know them. Yes, thats better. This is neutral territory and naturally not when on now we all bear the same surname not at this moment. This is a psyche podcast , and you can watch all podcasts on the website of channel one 1tv. Ru what pin code, if a simple question became a quiz, it can help for lunch, it helps restore memory and attention to the object so that the head works. Start earning more with the tinkov investor card let your money work for you. 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The psyche and our heroine milena, who came to us with her question, how to properly meet a man and bring him into the house when hes already behind you . Mmm, a few not very successful experiences. Well, milena, do you still have questions for the psychologist . Right now at this moment we are here raised the topic of the biological father, and i remembered just such a situation that since the baby had a biological father. Basically, she didnt see it, she doesnt know, and i didnt raise this topic with her due to her age. But when we broke up, there had been a 3year relationship. I just, well, in a playful way, i asked her, im your mommy. whos your daddy . Well, its just Something Like this, and without a shadow of a doubt, she told me this was our man, who was the one who accepted and was not allowed through. Well, essentially, yes he is, and it was its just such a heartbreak, because im so confused, because i dont want to feel like this. Well, that is, let me have the thought that, well, its good that you think that this is your dad, because, well, the person really deserved it with everything, both trust and actions. Well, then at some point she began to grow up and actually. Just after five years, when all the moms and dads there, she had this question and her brother joined in, who already understands. And he said this illusion, that is, no. This is actually its not yours, dad. Well, how would i admit it . Well , as she admitted, she told the story that your dad is also your brothers dad. Here. Well, im not sure that she somehow understood it then, and thats what, but most likely, she will return to this issue. Well, its good that she already has it. Uh, realistic picture, huh. She will probably want to complete this picture somehow. Here, maybe a little older. Yes, that may be a little later. She will want, and then you can really tell the story of the relationship, you can show photographs a and if photographs of the biological father have been preserved, including telling the story of that relationship, again so that the children can imagine. But how did this relationship with my biological dad develop . That is, why this man appeared, and this included this, that is, it is clear that, as i said, the sharp edges can be smoothed out. Well, its better if this story is for children. Eh, well, as honestly as possible, then they will have enough of everything in their heads. Smooth, stable. Its clear that everything is on its own shelves, but one day they may ask mom, why . You and your dad dont communicate with our real biological one. For some reason you dont bring him to us, and you did in general that i cant influence a person to take him and bring him, then Something Like violence, probably, but the biological dad knows where we live, knows our phone numbers. Periodically, also once a year, i remind you before birthdays that we have birthdays soon, if you want. Call us somehow to congratulate us. That is, all phones are in direct access, he knows all the numbers, his relatives know them, who, by the way, also dont manifest themselves from the word completely, so i did what i could. Well, i dont see the point in trying to force someone to somehow bring them together. That is , if a person doesnt want to, yes, that is, the person has a new family there, he switched. Well, okay, at some point it was difficult and unpleasantly painful, but i accepted it, that is , at some point it will just be nicer to tell this truth too, yes, thats about how the relationship with the biological one developed the father may be without such details, if the children do not have questions, if they arise yes, of course, its worth answering them. If they dont arise, then you can make the story a little, shorter. That is, naturally, it can indicate the separation. There may be some reasons why they diverged and now outline the position that dad has another family, so he doesnt see you. Well, yes, the child will say, im probably bad. We are probably such bad children that the pub doesnt want to communicate with us , and naturally this can happen. If you give it to children, well, some kind of negative picture, so the responsibility is definitely needs to be shifted towards the father. Well, this is objectively true, and the responsibility there is not on the fathers children. Well, that is, uh, dad decided to leave, he decided to leave there or start another family. He left, yes, it was his choice. Well, its just soso, to be honest , it would be funny if they were sad there, in any case, you dont need to send too much of a pill. It doesnt matter if we try somehow. Well, if we sweeten this situation and make it something more idealistic, then most likely the children, on the contrary, will have even more questions and a feeling of some unrealistic understatement. Something like that . What kind of complexes . Yes, therefore, after all , even if it is not a very pleasant story. What is important is that the child as a whole will be able to perceive it. Eh, he will have someone to rely on, and he will not feel that he left there or is somehow unworthy. This is what is important to wait for the new dad. Let it be milena, i think that uh, you really do a lot of things for your children. Are you generally doing the right thing . Yes from what we talked, so it seems to me that you are on the way to complement yourself, that it is really worth remembering that life is a holistic thing and it is good when there are all areas in this life. Yes, there is some ideal picture that you need to strive for, but at the same time do not forget about the rest of your life. This was a psychic podcast, where today we discussed it with our expert clinical psychologist, candidate of Psychological Sciences arthur timofey and our heroine milena. How to find a man in a family where the father is not . How to properly meet children . What are the risks . Well, where is the prospect of happiness . It is always there. Hi all. This is a free program podcast. Im maxim tronkov. And today i have a special guest singer. Presenter and the only one with whom i cheated on Tatyana Volosozhar yuliana karaulova good evening friends, please explain yourself, i wasnt on the ice for myself, because the fans of our couple with tatyana call me a traitor, because i joined the Village Guard couple during ice age project. Yes, but tanya was in excellent position. You needed to keep yourself busy with something or someone, so i saved you from obesity. That is, you are right, remember how i was groaning under you there, i remember. Yes, i remember, especially the first time , when you lifted me up, i was so, yes, i tried to make such an inspired face, because we were rolling there some number, i heard it from behind. Well, that was fun. Tell us how figure skating came into your life. It came with you, dear. Maxim was invited to the glacier project period. As a child, you never even thought you were skating. But i skated, i had literally a couple of classes, so when i was offered to participate in the project. My dad thought i was just a professional. I can do everything. He said, you had three classes as a child, what do you know all about . Well, but i knew how to drive straight and i knew how to do some sideways. I dont think i noticed all this. But okay, thank you very much. And then you taught me something. Thats when the project ended. Maxim told me that he would grant me status unofficially. I have his candidate master of sports, but at the same time he told me that you havent learned anything to talk about you. Its like your partner. I dont know how these two things are compatible, apparently they are. Well , actually, ill tell you honestly. At some point i just gave up and told myself that i will just accompany you on the ice, protect you, lift you up and take on more responsibility, and i wont do anything special to you. Yes, but i want to say that it is really for nonprofessionals. This is a very complex project. And when i was offered to participate in it. I i understood that it would be difficult, but i, probably, being an addicted person. I romanticized this whole process throughout this project. I understood that it would be difficult, but i didnt think that it would be so difficult, because in my professional activity. This also overlapped with a huge number of events there, including my first big solo concert and the release of an album. I was on it, and there was a large amount of promo from all sorts of different tours, and literally during the period of the project i didnt have a single day off at all, then available from august to december. Of course, i m quite tired, but this is a cool memory. Its a cool experience. The experience is very interesting. Of course, im very upset that i cant skate now like i did then, because after all. Spordov, who are very important and need this regular skill. Eh, constant training. Now it seems to me that i cant even do anything. If i go out on a raid, but if youre nearby, maybe something will work out, but in general its difficult. It seems to me that when the gum skating rink opens, every winter, there comes, uh, various girls who even participated in the same project with us, for example, uh Yulia Baranovskaya and so, as soon as she sees me, she immediately grabs on and says, lets go , lets go, and i, looking with a sad look at my wife, am forced to go in pairs. Shes into you. Lets call a spade a spade. She clung to you and so on at the moment when your partner is taken away by other partners. No, but, i periodically clung in the same way in marina, for example, because maxim explained it very well. You didnt really explain this to me. I was driving, let me go showed. But wait, its connected, another story, because marina was advised by your friend with your partner. Natasha podolskaya advised me when i was offered to participate in the project. I called natasha because she took part in it before me and she said, go for a ride, either with spovilons or with marinin, but they offered you to me. You were fresh, and fresh blood, so to speak, and in general, no one else was offered to me. You and i tried and somehow they immediately put us in the spotlight, but they told me that the champion is fresh, stunning, charismatic, textured, but harmful. This is what i wanted to start with. Uh, now raise your right hand up. On what i swear on your shoes. Just swear with your right hand, he says, only the truth are you sure that you want this. Come on, tell us about your ice age partner. Everyone knows the truth, but in fact, max is an incredible figure skater. Since youre asking me to talk about my partner, ill talk about you in the third person. Yes, you will be so comfortable, and i wont be so embarrassed hmm well, come on, ill try to justify you right away. As far as i know, i was the first professional person you skated with, and, in my opinion, the last. Yes, i completely discouraged you from doing such things. Thats the truth. Well, at most it was just difficult to explain to me, he didnt understand how i didnt understand it. Why, if it worked once it didnt work out the second time at all does this happen . Thats it, of course. Max is a very temperamental person, passionate, lets call it that , and therefore highly emotional. And y you beat me, well, you didnt beat me, you didnt even kick me, but once you pushed me just a little. Come on, just imagine, and i remember, yes and i imagine, i remember, it seemed to me that i was saying, in general the best couple was with korulova. Thats how we got there. In general, she and i didnt fight, we were friends, we rode in perfect harmony with each other, and for the first one and a half to two months. Probably, you and i really became friends right away, somehow we immediately found a common language and chatted a lot. And then, about two months later, the result analysis began some first conflicts. Its just that when i stayed with you as a couple, they told me, listen, he generally mocks his wife , shouts at her, behaves. Dont understand how you imagine how he will behave with you, lies. I looked at this for the first two months. Just the lamb of god i thought. Well, what vile people tell all sorts of gossip, thats it. Then i understood what they were talking about, but then we made up and everything was fine in the end, and for me they didnt talk, like, then not even for days , but for me it was very an indicative story when you and i didnt talk, didnt say hello, but we still came to training every day and worked out in one of the uh, skating rinks. We had a wonderful challenger. Now i wont name him who offended me and maxim just stood up for me. The raid ran out, it wasnt on the air, i almost tore my shirt, i said, either i or this man is leaving here and apologizes to yuliana, in short, i repeat, this was cut from the air, but i was very pleased. I think, well, what a great man. I only remember good, unlike yulianna karaulova, therefore, i will say that i had a very cool guy that i tell everyone this, because really, if i had someone else, i knew others there, but you and how wide is everything i probably wouldnt be able to ride in pairs there with anyone else. And this, of course, is not pointblank to other girls. Just to please my temperament. I know it would be hard for me. I remember very funny moments from the broadcasts of lednikovy when, in my opinion, well, one of some of the first, probably, numbers, well, not the first one, but somewhere at the beginning of the project, when i played a blind girl, my hobby got stuck in your tweed jacket. At the beginning , a flower fell, which you were supposed to give me at the end. And you, that means we skate there in support. Im any girl. With an inspired expression on your face and you say in my ear, damn, the flower has fallen, what should i do . And in general, you re in my ear all the way. You say all this, then my skate got stuck. And youre a fucking horse, everythings gone, what should i do . Well, yes, i softened it a lot and i continue everything is to listen with such a face. I remember that at the end of the rental. I say maxim, please, could you not comment on what is happening in my ear . It confuses me a little, but there is something to remember, its very fun. By the way, in my opinion, you and i were almost the only couple who did high support. Yes, you did, i did, we did, you understood me, but i wasnt afraid, and everyone asked me how you werent afraid. I really wasnt scared. I trusted you 100 in this regard. I was sure that you didnt want me youll drop it. For some reason. This is exactly what i wasnt afraid of, but i remember that when we skated the last number it was already the final and there you usually lifted me up. Uh, well, it turns out you were holding me by the back, upstairs. Like this, and then you lifted me up, either sideways or downwards, and i saw how really high it was. You know, i looked down. I remember i was so scared. I realized that this is really very high. That is, firstly, you are tall , plus skates, plus outstretched arms, in short, it was scary, but i can say that then during the ice age. I was simply at my best. And if i had a daughter, it seems to me that she is in better shape now. Thank you so much. Well, i was soso there. Thanks a lot. And so, and so, with this toxic, every day the abuser and toxic, if with love, now again in all the public pages, the user hits him with fire. No. By the way, he doesnt hit at all; max will develop a touching attitude. And in general, tanya is simply the best great woman, i told you, then i told you, you tell her, this is now for everyone tanya is simply amazing, amazing woman, amazing figure skater. Well, you can figure it out for yourself there. But yes, you are a super harmonious couple. Thanks a lot. I think that you and andryukho, thank you too, and tanya came through, came to our training , helped and even tried to explain something to me , she went out on the ice a couple of times already with such a big belly. It was very touching. Well, look, the ice age is over. And with that, figure skating is over for you, or whatever. Maybe you once watched the olympics, maybe you were sick for someone. Maybe you know some of our sensational olympic champions who are now wellknown. You know, uh. Of course, i watched and was sick. I remember that when i came to skate in one of the shows , girls came up to me to take pictures and among them was sasha trusova. So i recently crossed paths with her somewhere, and i she says i have a photo with you. And i, in my opinion, it was even broadcast somewhere and i was retagged in this photo. I saw that i had a photo with little sasha and i was like wow class. Wow, what a cool photo . I was very pleased, but in general, of course, this is the most beautiful sport, one of the most difficult, the most spectacular, and its great that its connected to music. That is, this is art and sport and thats it. With such a knowhow, and a delivery with such energy, in short, well, for me this is probably one of my favorite sports. And if we talk specifically about olympic sports, then, probably, figure skating is the only thing i watch, perhaps, with rare exceptions, and, in principle, our country. To me seems to like figure skating most of all. Our country. You love figure skating, just as yulianna karov loves it. It seems to me that this is true, because, uh, this is the most beautiful, brightest, one of the most difficult sports and im just amazing that the level is growing so much every year, yes, that is , look at what the olympic champions were doing there, even 10 years ago there for a decade back. And i have no idea whats happening now. What is it like to be an athlete relevant in this sport, because the level just grows from year to year. What keep up with these new records, new achievements in the number of elements. This is simply unrealistic on the one hand. This is cool. From that point of view exactly. How the sport is developing. I think figure skating. This is probably one of the Fastest Growing sports in this regard, well, recently. Yes, he has become very progressive, and such a colossal improvement in this sport has occurred over the past 5 years, on the one hand and on the other, of course. This is associated with a large number of, probably, some kind of psychological trauma, because there are a large number of examples when people go. From a distance, this, of course, affects their mental state in their future lives. And this, of course, is what raises questions when you think about whether, for example, to send your child to big sports, including figure skating. Well, by the way, i remember your story. You once told us about the need. We all have a Little Something to tell about athletes. By the way, uh alexa yes sport is the son of yulianna karaulova. Yes we have. Uh, by the way, andrey cherny. Yes, the difference between our children is quite small, a week. Yes, there is a very big difference between our son and our son. Yes, alexsov of sports, figure skating, hardly. Well, thank you for this, i didnt want the figurine for myself either. In general, i know that maxim and his son always wanted to be a footballer. I also want to be in the hospital, but it happened at my mothers request, mom, thank you, eh. And what about maxim becoming a figure skater, and now we have such a wonderful champion, by the way , on the channel, well, youre the presenter on channel one, and i am the host of a podcast, for example, the host on channel one is a free program podcast. Im maxim tronkov and my guest is a singer. Tv presenter yuliana karaulova is a juliana, not only a tv presenter and an athlete. And also, and above all, a wonderful successful singer and have you heard anything . Ill be honest, i havent heard these tracks, but i dont mind. Why not . You take competition calmly. Well, no, to the fact that people who are you because you graduated from gnesinka, you are a singer by training. I said in the ice age project, too, it turns out that she was practically a figure skater, so it seems to me that if a person has a desire , he has the opportunity to try himself in something new and he enjoys it. Why not . And another question. If over time a person understands that it does not find a certain response, that it is not for him, then it means that he simply does not go further along this path, but at least he knows that he tried. You know, like in that famous book and film, that at least i will know that i tried, if i really wanted to. If a person had such a dream, i dont mind, im not a prude, and it seems to me that on the one hand, certainly. Everything should always be professional, but we all started somewhere. We all went through a certain path. And well, we probably need to be more lenient in some things, including many of our people. Figure skaters try themselves and skaters too. If, damn it, im trying to be a tv presenter, its become popular now, so like figure skating, channel one, uh, broadcasts and thank them very much for that, and our girls are trying themselves , uh, tv presenters, maybe, you, as already a professional tv presenter, will give them a couple of tips and at the same time , i wouldnt say that theyre a professional tv presenter, but thank you very much, first of all. Lets start with the fact that the athletes age is professional. Its very short and you imagine it like no other, there really arent many sports. And yes, in which athletes in our country will stop as stars why i said football player, because they are mostly figure skaters. Who else tell me, well, rhythmic gymnastics, maybe synchronized swimming is less common in gymnastics . Okay well, just a few. And it turns out that a person has a lot of media weight, but his professional path in sports is over, but at the same time he feels strong. He feels potential confidence. And most importantly, he has a desire to develop further, and he knows what to say, what to say, why not. I dont see anything wrong with this. Them more so, if we talk about the girls you just mentioned. Again, you talk great. Do you feel free in this . Why not. You have commented on a huge number of competitions. You communicate well with people. You easily find a common language, and you can joke on the edge in a timely, relevant and cool way and quite daringly. You know, on such a right edge, so this is also something great. Everything here is just like that. Thank you, but in fact, this is what the ice age did not give. A lot of athletes. More precisely, almost everyone who participates in it. They say its all great, so much. There are so many things and its so cool, the only plus for me that i got was meeting you with the stars and very amazing interesting people. I think that this is the main thing in general for the ice age thing, because it helps you develop, because when you see how easily the stars communicate there, well, mine are there, naturally, my partner, elena karaulova, my friend anzhelika kakashirina, and so on with that , with whom i talked, katya varnavy is there and so further, with whom we are finally alla mikheev. Yes, with whom we hung out, were friends, spent time together, it gave me a lot. I actually thought, why not, that it seems like theyre all simple people, nothing like that, the supernatural doesnt exist there , i definitely didnt want to ride. Yes, i remember how maxim said. I hate figure skating. I just cant believe what im hearing. How this is possible, i dont know. I looked at all this from the side, physically it is very difficult when you are not a professional athlete to compete on ravnya with professional athletes it is quite a ruthless world that should be noted. Because during the project i first had a crack on one side in the rib. And a week later, on the other side, maybe there was a fracture, i dont know, i didnt do it. But i didnt take a second photo. Because the difference between the xrays was a couple of days. I didnt want to be irradiated again. The fact is that i repeat, it was maxims first time skating with a nonprofessional. And you squeezed me very hard, because naturally i dont have such a muscular corset as tanya. Yes, like professional athletes. So, basically, we broke two of my ribs. And i remember that at some point i felt like this. Its a pity i came for training. Everything hurts. I just cant help but sit, and, well, it hurts to move. I remember this moment and breathe and laugh, would you have anything to do with such nonsense . Absolutely yes, and you just wont take me there . With my hand it hurt everywhere, and in the end they injected me with painkillers and applied special tapes. And at some point i just felt endlessly myself. Im sorry i remember sitting and crying in the locker room. Im still tired, you know, chronic lack of sleep , all this has accumulated. So at that moment you understood what sport is . Yes, i realized that he absolutely ran away from high achievements, and at some moments he was absolutely not focused on your personal feelings, because there is a certain path that you have to go through, regardless of everything, and you cannot stop. You cant quit the race. You cant lose face. You cant let people down, you cant, in the end let yourself down i i thought. Okay, listen, so many people were riding. Eh, so many people were injured and its okay, perhaps, you know, it was a little different time, because the project was 7 years ago, in my opinion, there was or eight, and now its hype time. And perhaps by now some kind of story would have been exaggerated