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My fingers trembled as I dialled, deleted and redialled the number to Distress Centre Calgary three times over. The first time I finally pressed the call button, I hung up just as the ringing began. It felt overwhelming to have to explain my feelings to a stranger and to be honest with myself how serious the despair had become.
I opened the online crisis chat instead. I thought it might be easier to talk to someone through a messaging service than have to piece together words through tears. I didn’t wait for someone to answer. What I’m sure was less than a minute felt like hours waiting for a response.

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