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If using Tinder, Bumble and Hinge all at once wasn’t working for you, it’s your fault for thinking that some campus computer science club could do the trick. But you had nothing left to lose, so you handed over your recreational drug use patterns, your three words of insincere self-description and your shitty sleep schedule to a student-run AI system — as if it could actually locate your soulmate among the countless other sleep-deprived “formal to-do list” keepers at Cornell sharing your passion for “art.”

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