Good news good news folks i know youre worried that everyone is suffering during this pandemic were lonely were scared and if i have to teach my mother how to use zoom one more time im going to throw her out a window not the real her but the laptop with her on it so she sees it as it goes down and smashes into the ground and maybe that will stick with her for a bit but no is not true not everybody is having a rough time some people are doing room only well americas billionaires have seen their wealth increase by 12. 5 percent during the lockdown period the institute for policy studies released a study thursday showing that in the 8 weeks between march 18th and may 14th the country superwealthy have added a further 368800000000. 00 to their already a norm its fortunes and besides this ridiculous state of inequality the rich are also not paying their fair share in taxes they got a giant tax cut for donald trump and the super rich hold 32. 00 trillion dollars in offshore tax havens meanwhile for average americans its. Not as good. A record 36000000. 00 americans have filed for Unemployment Insurance with millions more losing their employer based Health Care Plans and around a 3rd of the country not paying its rent so how does our society not collapsing how was it one of why why is the stock market not so low we can see up my skirt well one of the reasons is that we now have a plutonic me citi Group Analysts have used the term plutonic me. To describe an economy in which the rich are the driving forces and main beneficiaries of Economic Growth basically it only matters what the rich do what they buy what they invest in you and i dont matter we matter as much as a gnat as much as a gnat matters to another gnat. Thats not that into him its just just like totally ignore them like they have a thing and not him something happens theyre going to care and care recent estimates are that only 20 percent of people have 85 percent of the wealth so as long as the government serves those 20 percent they can almost completely ignore the bottom 80 percent of people this explains why our government has not seen the need to truly bail out average people during this crisis they said theyd send a check of 1200. 00 to average people while giving 4. 00 trillion dollars to big banks and Corporate America do you understand how much status if someone gave you a true 1000000. 00 to the mill a 1000000. 00 a year just handed years a 1000000. 00 you know long it would take for you to have 4. 00 trillion dollars it would take you 4250000 years by which time dollars will mean anything because currency will have been replaced by us and humans will have been replaced with squid like kangaroo creatures and therefore will be a far more complicated procedure that involves taxidermy human hands that the squid gurus cost 5. 00 broad 6 bombs. Anyway this idea of the pluto to me was actually leaked out in a city Group Analysts note several years ago they accidentally said the quiet part out loud to their super rich clients it read a. The world is dividing into 2 blocks the plutonium is where Economic Growth is powered by largely consumed by the wealthy few and the rest what are the common drivers of plutonic me Disruptive Technology driven person productivity gains creative financial innovation could create creative in the financial innovation what does that mean well that translates to unique new ways to steal from people lets keep going capitalist friendly cooperative governments whatever was that mean cooperative government well that translates to governments controlled by the rich designed to the people at every turn thats what who was pretty a means to citibank. And overseas conquests invigorating Wealth Creation the rule of law and patenting inventions yes overseas conquests that invigorated Wealth Creation or what does that mean that translates to invading and taking over other nations and people and then stealing their resources thats what that means its a lovely language they speak over there citibank as did i i think its scandinavian derived lets continue often these wealth waves involve great complex to be exploited best by the rich and educated of the time oh yes its too complicated for the tribal diet masses with your t. Shirts that say things and your extra long straws with a spoon on the end to get at the slaughter piece its best if you just leave it all to the rich smart people well take care of everything you just you go back to scraping the answer out of your porridge bowl that youre sharing with an unclaimed baby the fact that billionaires wealth is rising so rapidly in a period of economic collapse is a sign that the riches wealth is barely even connected to Productive Forces anymore and has more to do with how much wealth one can take from public coffers in a study covered in the proceedings of the National Academy of sciences peanuts for short researchers found that higher social class predicted increase in unethical behavior they showed that the rich are more likely to make an ethical decisions steal from others break the law while driving and cheat in contests and yes the rich are the ones who control our government and our economy not only should they be kept out of leadership positions they shouldnt be out on the streets we have our kids to think about we got to keep them safe dont we the exorbitantly rich should we put. No hold still more on an island where they can be monitored and receive the treatment they require and then while they are looking well create a sustainable egalitarianism peaceful he told positive utopian wonder world where hugs dont cause death anymore coming from washington d. C. The belle of the base is a redacted and i. Welcome cam ellis take the news from im so to start off i got to say ive been watching a lot of the c. N. N. And fox news and trump speeches and reading the New York Times and its sister publication tiger beat and those outlets have taught me that even though were in the middle of a crisis a terrible crisis our enemy is not here in america now now known as workers across this nation suffer and try to get by do not blame your corporate owners or your government officials they are doing the best they can the true enemy is isis isis is going to get us with their scary masks and pirate like flags and languages that are villainous e villainously not english all right. Im sorry that was a couple years ago not isis its russia russia is your true enemy they are led by a staff squad Jian Siberian name to that of cough cough something vox be radioactive fluid out of his because he grew up in the shadow of chair no ball and he wont. That was last year no iran iran is plans to destroy your life using their mean spirited beer thousands of years of history that isnt ours theyve been hoarding history for it on give us some let us have some but know that. Got so not iran ok i have it here its some assad syrias assad has targeted us all with surface to air toasty gathered and they may hit at any moment you never know hell get to have a low oh i swear this is out of this is that i talk to god is it china weve moved on to china china has been laying the groundwork to take over america via convenient and tasty fast food establishments theyre everywhere their greatest military commander general so even sent his chicken he said hes chicken at us hes been waging a silent war using m. S. G. Against us for years even though weve known for years that m. S. G. Isnt actually bad for you but look at all the ways china is awful they have slave laborers working in factories and its terrible all those those poor people in factories that produce our i phones china is so evil they tricked us into enjoying the forbidden fruit over there i laborers they also have a Large Company called a wild way that are our government has a tz because. Because it will. I want to spell it out for you why well you know what you did you know what you did our government has accused them of racketeering sure some of americas Biggest Companies are war profiteers that literally make billions of dollars by using bombs to separate children into many pieces but your worst while away because you created a smartphone thats quite good while away technology is the worst thing to come to our shores from china since all of our stuff check your shirt right now if youre watching this and i hope you are checking share right now says made in china doesnt it doesnt it theyve gotten us to brand all of ourselves with their mark of the beast were all Walking Around with made in china printed on our backs bulls eye was made right here in america by my parents because tequila drinks were have fought that night at t. G. I. Fridays i am not made in china and i am not machine washable either shut up shut up shut up jarrett shut stop stop saying that to make sure. And now the chinese have created the coronavirus to get ice not really but donald trump and sean hannity said so and together they are 750. 00 pounds of raw meghans up but as Richard Nixon said when the president makes stuff up its not made up as a few things that fox news and c. N. N. And n. P. R. Down from the few things they need you to do in order to effectively fight communist china 1st. Start calling them communist china scarier than that and it attaches a sinister political motive to everything but try try this sentence out china will host the olympics next year doesnt sound so bad right maybe ill go it sounds like fun but listen to this communist china will host the olympics next year oh my god my back to shut up in my stomach what are they going to do to our olympic athletes are they going to take the tiny little olympic gymnast and feed them to the weightlifters and then feed them to a tribe of rabid panda bears before those are chopped up by and im a octopus born. And yes i know and im a octopus porn is japanese plot humko and yet should pay and use a city in china ok step 2 is to take anything positive and act like its a fair reus you can do this with tone watch just change china send doctors to italy during the pandemic to china sent their doctors to italy during up chamakh. And then add on the conspiracy at the end they were probably still in the earliest medical technology and theyre delicious pastry recipes because chinas fortune cookies taste like styrofoam they make matzah seem exciting so with those 2 steps you too could be involved in creating anti china propaganda this way you want to spend your time questioning our American Government which happens to be stealing trillions of dollars from you right now while you want all their childrens of dollars while refusing to give you even basic human rights Like Health Care and paid sick leave a living wage. Transportation Public Transportation system that actually shows up and doesnt smell like 100 year old you want to farts as long as you hate other countries and other peoples your anger is not directed at the people actually ruining our lives all right its time for another moment to open awesome people make a man. Had a them as you know one of the things we need to do to deal with Climate Change and environmental collapse is plant a lot of trees thats not all we have to do we also need to stop chopping down trees in america sending the pieces to china to be assembled into an ugly table thats then shipped back to the west coast of the us that is then trucked across to the east coast where its sold into walmart then driven to the buyers are going home then falls apart in 4 months at which point the owner throws it into the garbage and buys a new ugly table while the planet breaks out into called sweat and vomiting. Now the whole process has been turned by economists death by ugly table we should probably stop doing that too. But also we need to plant trees and one group of stupid awesome people are actually doing it on land north of toronto that previously burned in a while in a wildfire drones are hovering over fields and firing seed pods into the ground planting native pine and spruce trees to help restore habitat for birds last forests of the canadian startup behind the project plans to use its technology to plant 40000 trees in the area this month they believe they will be able to plant a 1000000000 trees by drone in the next 8 years her are you going to tell them their parents are. You said im gonna go well one night it was late in the earth was look at my new factory in the moonlight mountains so sweet i cant even tell you so after some brief foreplay ive pumped her full of my sweet sweet grown seed in a naughty trysts that not even the shadows will speak. Hearing that will help that sapling for life and a way well worry about that later point is these people have found a way to plant millions of trees a year theyre taking into account the habitat and the ecology of the area and they are part of the solution ill admit its a small part. If we keep burning fossil fuels and electing politicians who have a methane spewing fracking pads where their hearts should be then it doesnt matter how many trees we plant on top of our grave blow what us splendiferous grave itll be its also nice to see Drone Technology used for good instead of evil firing tree bullets could be just the beginning but that drones firing bandages down to the injured firing jackets down to the cold fire Artificial Insemination into those seeking to have a baby probably have to be kind of careful where you aim that last one and also which kind of ammo you use as you could end up impregnating mike pence is faced with an eastern white pine sapling you have to go to a short break but if you havent downloaded arties new free app called portable t. V. Youre really missing out and get every episode of redacted tonight without all of the century ship of youtube downloaded for free a portable dot tv flash download other i bet a lot more. Of the was sick at the funeral. Well yes still its a risk but the way its always a kind it was a good story. On the leech. Not so much you know. They can trust the food at the close up. To the point. Yes. Yes but. According to several sources at least in the United States from 2 to 4 people every day. And its. One of my being arrested for a response from you know. Its just their little world. They developed just us against them its. A long history of 2525 years. I would have to shoot someone told me you know. There was a corruption inside of his police. Welcome back im still the camp the Postal Service just got a new head of appears to want to make some changes but not necessarily changes that will benefit postal workers or customers or taxpayers well the American People in general or the wildlife war plans for more on this we go to war intelligence failure and theres a way. As millions of americans patiently wait to receive their medicine and other essential items the u. S. Postal service is set to undergo some restructuring on the 6th of may North Carolina businessman louis to joy was appointed postmaster general by president try when he begins his term on june 15th joy will make history not only is the 1st postmaster general descended from chipmunks but the 1st in decades to have no experience whatsoever working in the Postal Service but he has been a reliable Customer Support countless checks in the mail over the years in his role as a top donor to President Trump and the Republican National committee who is currently in charge of fundraising for the Republican National convention in charlotte to joy is the former c. E. O. Of a company now known as x p o logistics contracts with the Postal Service considering the fact that he and his wife currently own between 25. 00 in 50 1000000. 00 and x. P. O. Stock now will be contracting with himself looks like that revolving door he ordered finally showed up for a few years now the post office has expressed interest in modernizing with just so happens to be joys specialty and especially vegan term modernization can mean anything from giving your workers new apple watches and free drones to giving them apple watches that tase them for working too slow or replacing them with drones in lewis to joyce case it refers to the science of weeding out any worker whos not super productive and super compliant regardless of seniority or humanity rather than making the lives of letter carriers easier technological innovation is often used to justify slashing their jobs and demanding more work for the same pay the Postal Service has undergone a number of restructurings over the years that have heard its bottom line including in 2006 when Congress Passed the. Bipartisan postal accountability and enhancement requiring the u. S. P. S. To prepay retiring Health Care Benefits 75 years in advance a mandate unheard of for either public agencies or private businesses 75 years thats insane how are you going supposed to know what diseases in ailments people will need to be treated for 75 years in advance i guess u. S. P. S. Retirees are lucky if they can get help with anything that isnt rubella this does put future retirees in a good position though since theyll be among the 1st to get the covert 19 vaccine when its finally released in 76 years. Postal workers have been under duress for a very long time and the coronavirus has squeezed the service even tighter since the pandemic began revenues for u. S. P. S. Have fallen by almost half theyve resorted to asking congress for an 80 9000000000. 00 aid package but instead treasury secretary Steve Minucci and has offered the agency 10000000000. 00 with numerous draconian Strings Attached including demands to hike rates on shipping and reverse games won over many years by postal workers and codified in collective bargaining agreements this dovetails nicely into loose to joys resume as a c. E. O. He oversaw companies that fired workers who complained about Sexual Harassment avoided hiring Union Members racked up 35000000. 00 in wage an hour violations and he led a warehouse in memphis that overworked its employees to such a degree that 2017 a woman died of cardiac arrest on the warehouse floor and workers around her were told to keep working lou is to joys appointment is another step in the long march of the powers that be to privatized the Postal Service a program that serves every resident of this country regardless of who they are or how much money they have thats why they want to get rid of it but its also why its worth fighting for. From a post office near you i manders only with redacted tonight thank you anders now its time to talk about some stories that flew under the radar here with me is redacted correspondent Natalie Mcgill now how are you doing. And what do you got out so house reps were supposed to vote on an amendment to the patriot act that would prohibit Law Enforcement from searching your internet browsing history without a warrant and House Intelligence Committee leader adam schiff all of that up at the last minute by adding a line that says the f. B. I. Cannot seek to obtain the Internet Activity of u. S. Persons without a warrant so basically it was that open ended sentence that screws over immigrants that screws over people who are seeking asylum and its kind of sucks because just to get to this vote you had to create this weird alliance of like progressive politicians even normally shine anything that infringes on your privacy and then like bootlicking republicans who are like the f. B. I. Interfered with. Campaign so it was like it was clear it was like a very much of a couple who also pop quiz were left on congress do anything to decrease surveillance on american citizens thats like that all goes in one direction exactly and i think its like if you hate this amendment then that means that youre cool with the f. B. I. Snooping on your they might not find something thats going to take you down but they are going to find something embarrassing. Internet searches that still vague you know sure i might be searching for you know dog having a 3 way with other dogs im sure i was researching it for a joke or not out of some sort of morbid curiosity im pretty sure one of their internet searches is like how do i get my kids to love me like thats probably. Just a cruise a search for sure i feel like ted cruz on that one the internet ad breaks the internet right there like. The end of the. Internet and of the internet. But yeah moving on you probably are aware that the e. P. A. Has already allowed high Pollution Industries to police themselves and so now the white house stake in this a step further and allow the Oil Companies to set their own rates for royalties that they pay on the money that theyre making from drilling on public lands and not only can they stop the worlds great but the pure of women with so they can apply for relief money from the royal so its basically laid its like having a toddler in your house but removing all of the child proofing and me like being learned their lesson im sure they wont touch the gas range this. Putting children in daycare run by alligators and telling the alligators please self police yourselves dont eat these children its weird because a bailout this is like a bailiff or an already highly indebted industry and whats even more messed up is that the white house is now demanding back grant from solar and wind farms that are on federal properties to the tune of 50000000. 00 these are companies that are already paying over and. So this is like theyre theyre trying to find ways to overcharge Sustainable Energy and wall theyre giving massive subsidies to big oil and big oil gets crazy amount of subsidies when it came to welfare so the republicans are all a well clear of people on welfare its like big oil is the number one person on welfare yeah and also that 50000000. 00 thats the same amount of money that fossil fuel companies are getting in loans from the paycheck protection incredible thank you so much thanks for having. Hero your headline from the future on friday youll learn. China accused of actively not fixing everything wrong with america commie bastards and on monday youll hear. This is p. R. Person cant believe c. N. N. Not even returning emails anymore still like c. N. N. And finally away from now. Minnesota Police Department develops a drone that can plant crack on 10000. 00 black men per year very excited and thats our show but dont forget to grab my free stand up comedy special elite camp american dot com and my new political comedy book book dot com until next time goodnight and good bye. So what weve got to do is identify the threats that we have its crazy confrontation let it be an arms race. Spearing dramatic developments only. I dont see how that strategy will be successful very critical time to sit down and talk. No matter if they were going underground exactly 76 years since d. Day when u. S. Troops landed on the beaches of normandy to fight fascism there are now deployed to fight selfproclaimed anti fascist anti fire on the streets of their own country coming out of the show as u. S. President threatens an occupation of his own country by the us military. Around the world for the story of the Eastern African states we ask if the only route to law and order is the end to the police and one Nobel Prize Winning biophysicist thats what Michael Leavitt thinks that Boris Johnson governments in the