Man vs. machine vs. suck.
Posted: Feb 27, 2021 10:36 AM
Posted By: Mike Bunge
I have written reviews for almost a thousand movies. Whether I should be proud of that or somewhat embarrassed is not entirely clear. I mention it to provide some context. Of that number of films, some of them were profoundly moving and some so awful they would make you doubt the existence of a kind and loving God. In all of them, however, this ranks as one of the more difficult reviews I’ve ever done. Robocop (1987) is, with one caveat, a frickin’ masterpiece. If its remake was terrible, I could easily and joyfully mock it. If it was good, it would be a delight to ponder the differences and similarities. But Robocop (2014) is…just…so…bleh. It is more than a mere cash grab, yet its creative vision would need a telescope just to read the top letter on an eye chart. It tries to follow its predecessor by saying something, though it never quite figures out what that is. It is made with the common technical brilliance of its era and it is all for naught because it is cold and sterile and timid everywhere the original is sharp and mischievous and bold. Writing this is like being a food critic judging between a five course meal in a four star restaurant and a bowl of unsweetened oatmeal. Where does one even begin?