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There are so many things to consider when you have to tell your kids you’re going to get divorced (we have a whole guide about it here). You want to present as much of a respectful, united front as possible; you want to make sure they know they’ll still be loved and supported by both parents, and that this isn’t because of anything
they have done. But one thing you may
not think to say is also something they may need to hear: This isn’t a secret.
Even though you may be feeling some of your own guilt or shame over the impending divorce, Dr. Joanna Stern, a senior clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, says it’s important to communicate to kids that this is not something that is shameful for them and that they can seek support wherever they need it. Younger kids, in particular, may grapple with the gravity of what’s happening — but if it’s something they’ve never heard anyone