All right. Apparently, in the 11 seconds darryl was part of the team, he managed to harass everyone. He did leave a statement im sorry, and then he also traced his penis. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, rex on the chopping block. Plus steven welcomes kate winslet. With a special apperance by Laura Benanti. Featuring john batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york, its Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause band playing stephen whats going on, guys . Nice to see you. Nice to see you all. Hey, welcome to late show. Nice. cheers and applause thanks so much, everybody. Oh my gosh. Wow. Please have a seat. Thank you so much. What a lovely crowd. Welcome, one and all, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Now, folks, you know, i love my job. Unlike secretary of state and man with resting kill me face, Rex Tillerson. laughter but tillersons long nightmare of National Service may soon be over because today, we learned the white house has a plan to force out secretary of state tillerson. Yes, its a complicated plan, that involves telling him he can go, and then plastering over the rexshaped hole in his office wall. Tillerson pshew tillerson was always kind of an unusual pick for secretary of state. He was a multimillionaire Oil Executive with no diplomatic experience. Though, he wasnt afraid to stand up to some of the worlds most dangerously unhinged leaders. He even called one of them a moron. laughter yeah, he has clearly cheers and applause like two rams butting heads. He has clashed with President Trump. At one point, trump even proposed an i. Q. Test faceoff against tillerson. Okay, rex, meet at dawn, bring a loaded number two pencil. This is important. Golf rules, low score wins. Okay . laughter and boom. Like that. Like that. cheers and applause but tillerson is not ready to leave just yet, because according to reports, he was intent on finishing out the year to retain whatever dignity he could. Dear santa, all i want is the dignity to work for a moron until christmas. And more delicious oil. laughter laughter there have been plenty of signs that tillerson is not happy. This is what he said last month, while looking at a statue in switzerland. laughter jon ha ha cheers and applause jon ha applause stephen yeah. Yeah. cheers and applause this does feel pretty good. Now, the white house hi. laughter we didnt time it, how long it was going to take me to stand up, did we . Now, the white house ah has denied that tillerson is on the way out, and this afternoon, in an appearance with the crown prince of bahrain, the president expressed his strong confidence in the secretary. Do you want Rex Tillerson on the job, mr. President . Hes here. Rex is here. Stephen yeah, hes fired. laughter darling, are we getting divorced . Youre here. Youre still here. cheers and applause but, still, still ive got to say, its refreshing to hear about a powerful man being fired for something other than flashing his junk. laughter as for who will now run the state department, trump apparently plans to replace tillerson with mike pompeo, the current c. I. A. Director, then replace pompeo with senator tom cotton. Then hed replace tom cotton with jared kushner, kushner with jeff sessions, and sessions with a button that fires robert mueller. laughter meanwhile, the Trump Administration is veering dangerously close to accomplishment, because the g. O. P. Tax bill looks like it will pass. Yes. After months of audience reacts i know, but after months of clenching and pushing, it looks like the republicans may finally pinch out a steaming loaf of legislation. laughter the Nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office found that the Senate Version of these cuts would create a 1. 4 trillion hole in the budget. They dont even cut everyones taxes equally. According to the c. B. O. , by 2027, people making 40,000 to 50,000 a year will pay a combined 5. 3 billion more in taxes, while the group earning 1 million or more will get a 5. 8 billion cut. Dont worry that 5. 8 billion will trickle down. To the rich, when they throw their money in the air and dance underneath it in joy woo, woo, woo woo, woo, woo cheers and applause thats actually very enjoyable. laughter the bill also provides a lucrative break for golf course owners and those who own or lease private planes. See . Just your average joe six plane. I put on my pants the same way you do, one butler at a time. Now yesterday, at a rally in missouri, trump claimed the bill was not good for him. I think my accountants are going crazy right now. This will cost me a fortune, this thing, believe me. Stephen i dont believe you. laughter you can say to believe you, i dont believe you. cheers and applause because, truth is, trump could save more than 1 billion under his new tax plan. Wow with that kind of cash, he can finally quit that deadend government job. laughter one former congressional staffer put it best when he said, this bill is not aimed at growth, its not aimed at the middle class. It is at every turn carefully engineered to deliver a kiss to the donor class. And judging by this bill, they didnt kiss them on the mouth. audience reacts and jon ugh laughter and applause stephen i speak of the butt hole. And laughter and there are a lot of things jammed in that bill that dont really have anything to do with taxes, such as the lifting of a 1954 ban on political activism by churches. So when youre at mass this christmas, expect to see jesus with a new look. laughter were all aware that yesterday, matt lauer was fired from the today show for sexual misconduct, including exposing himself and giving colleagues sex toys as gifts. You do not want matt lauer as your secret santa. laughter but no, right down the chimney. audience reacts but there is one man, there is one man dont boo me i didnt do it. laughter there was one man with the courage to defend Matt Lauer Fox news contributor, and man methinks doth mustache too much, geraldo rivera, who tweeted, sad about matt lauer. Great guy, highly skilled and empathetic with guests, and a real gentleman to my family and me. News is a flirty business. It seems like current epidemic of sex harassment allegations may be criminalizing courtship. Yes, matt lauer wasnt sexually harassing women, it was good oldfashioned courtship. Sex toy, my lady . Ooh, a puddle laughter a puddle before your feet. Allow me to lay my penis across it, so you may pass. laughter cheers and applause i look, i for your pleasure. cheers and applause what hark . What hark, i have bundled my bits and pieces into a corsage. May i pin it to your sleeve . Of course, geraldo knows that a gentleman exposes himself to her father first. Sir, id like to ask for your daughters hand in my pants. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Kate winslet is here. But when we come back, i sit down with first lady melania trump. Stick around. band playing cheers and applause this is sumiko on her birthday. She turned 83. This is her with all her friends. This is what she does on tuesdays. This is what she does on saturdays. Her dj name is sumirok. Theres a deeper story behind every picture. Question your lens. Question your lens. So allstate is giving us money back on our bill. Well, that seems fair. We didnt use it. Wish we got money back on gym memberships. Get money back hilarious. With claimfree rewards. Switching to allstate is worth it. Lobsterfest is back at red lobster. With the most lobster dishes of the year. New dueling lobster tails has two tails thatll fight to be your favorite. One topped with creamy shrimp and scallops, the other. Steamed with lemon and herbs. And no, youre not dreaming, classics like lobster lovers dream are back too, along with decadent new lobster truffle mac cheese. But enough talking about lobster lets get to eating because lobsterfest wont last. So dive in today at red lobster with advils fast relief, youll ask, what pulled muscle . What headache . Nothing works faster to make pain a distant memory. Advil liquigels and advil liquigels minis. What pain . band playing cheers and applause stephen give it up for the band, john batiste and stay human, right over there. Cmon laughter john, i notice you have a sprightly young bassist joining the band. Its your father, michael batiste. Give it up for michael, right there. Jon yes indeed stephen michael, good to see you again. I know we had you last night. Is there any chance, could i convince you to stay for friday as well . Is that possible . All right. Stephen you can stay with me. All right. Well. You know, folks, President Trump has been very tough on immigrants, but it hasnt all been deportations. Hes also detaining some foreigners against their will. For instance, melania. laughter now, im not sure that the first lady is happy in washington, d. C. Just look at this recent tweet from her communications director. Thats great. Lets take a look at the photo of the festive holiday decorations she tweeted along with it. Ugh which holiday is that for . Saint gorlons feast of human bones . laughter come, children, your christmas guests are here. Those pale young girls we all thought had died of the plague, theyre waiting for their kiss in the hall of eternal shadow. Right beneath the bleeding mistletoe. laughter now, to be fair, the first lady shared a video of that same hallway looking a lot more cheerful with the lights on, as well as a beautiful look at the white houses official christmas tree. But thats not all the first lady has to deal with. Shes also, once again, getting flack from trumps first wife, ivana trump. Last month, ivana was out promoting her new memoir and dropped this bombshell i have the direct number to white house, but i not really want to call him there because melania is there, and i dont want to cause any kind of jealousy. Im basically first trump wife, okay . Im first lady, okay . laughs stephen youch. Melania didnt like that too much, clapping right back in a statement theres clearly no substance to this statement from an ex. This is unfortunately only attentionseeking and self serving noise. Okay, though, to be fair, attentionseeking and self serving noise is the motto on the trump family crest. And sounds better in latin. laughter and, just this weekend, ivana was at it again. She said this on a talk show in ireland i mentioned this when we were talking about you earlier on, that you are the first lady. Well, i said im first trump lady. Do you think shes doing a good job as first lady . Melania . I think shes trying her best. audience oohs stephen meow wow, get that kitty a saucer of mink laughter now, with all this going on, i feel bad for the first lady, so i wanted to give her equal time to respond. Please welcome back to the late show, first lady melania trump. cheers and applause madam first lady, thank you. applause hello, steven, thank you for having me. Stephen of course, of course. I want you to feel like the late show is your home. Oh can i move in here . laughter stephen its just a saying. Now, madam first lady, youve been in the news a lot lately. Lets start with ivana trump. Thats what my husband did, but then he moved on. laughs badoomsh laughter stephen settle down, there. Were you hurt by ivanas comments . They did not affect me, stephen. In fact, i want to let mrs. Trump know i have tremendous admiration and respect for ivanka. Stephen her name is ivana. I know. laughter but the real issue here is bullying. No one should be subjected to cruel and baseless insults. Thats why, when she goes low, i go, bye, bitch. laughter stephen okay, makes a nice bumper sticker. But according to recent reports, you didnt even want to be the first lady. Is there any truth to that . Stephen, this is a fake news lie. Im very happy to be first lady. Look at me, being happy. laughter stephen well, im laughter you have a beautiful smile. cheers and applause you have a beautiful smile. Well, im so glad to hear, madam first lady, because it sounds like youre the one who convinced your husband to jump into the race in the first place. That same article said that after years of him hinting that he might run for president , you told him, your friends are tired of this strip tease. Is that true . Yes. No one can stand his strip tease. laughter i usually stop watching around the time he gets his belt buckle tangled in his giant tie. Stephen so, youre really happy . Yes in fact, i was recently treated with special white house ballet performance by wonderful ballerinas there i am, alone on my staircase of happiness, admiring their freedom of movement. Fly away, little birds fly away. laughter cheers and applause stephen i got to say, that looks lovely. And we all saw how much care you put into decorating the white house for christmas. Oh, yes, stephen. More proof of my happiness is how much i love to decorate its also merry, the stringing of the lights, the baking of the cookies. And santa claus, such an inspiration to me. Stephen really, how so . Well, if you can come down a chimney to go into a house, then you can go up a chimney to get out of a house. applause i have gotten all the family christmas stockings and tied them into a rope. Merry christmas to all, and to all a goodbye stephen melania trump, everybody. See Laura Benanti in Steve Martins meteor shower on broadway now. Well be right back with kate winslet. cheers and applause band playing its got the Google Assistant in it, so its super helpful. Watch this hey google, good morning. Gh good morning, claire. Its 52 degrees with a chance of rain, so you might want an umbrella. Oh, thats thoughtful. Itll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you. Gh your first meeting is at 9am. And you know how sometimes youre in bed and you cant get out of it until you hear that one song that gh ok, playing your get out of bed playlist. Yeah, it can do that too. Its google home mini, now only 39. avo if yand constipation,ling and youre overwhelmed its google home mini, by everything youve tried all those laxatives, daily probiotics, endless fiber it could be wearing on you. Tell your doctor what youve tried, and how long youve been at it. Linzess works differently from laxatives. Linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation or chronic constipation. It can help relieve your belly pain and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. Do not give linzess to children less than six and it should not be given to children six to less than eighteen. It may harm them. Dont take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. Get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. The most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. If its severe, stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. Other side effects include gas, stomacharea pain and swelling. Ask your doctor if 90 days of linzess may be right for you. Dont we need that cable box to watch tv . Nope. Dont we need to run . Nope. It just explodes in a high pitched yeahhh. yeahhh try directv now for 10 a month for 3 months. No satellite needed. Sorry. I cant make it. Its just my eczema again, but its fine. Yeah, its fine. You ok . Eczema. Its fine. Hey hi arent you hot . Eczema again . Its fine. I saw something the other day. Eczema exposed. Your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. Maybe you should ask your doctor . Go to eczemaexposed. Com to learn more. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an Academy Award winner you know from the reader, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, and a little movie called titanic. Please welcome kate winslet. band playing cheers and applause well, thank you so much. Thank you. cheers and applause thank you. cheers and applause thank you so much. Stephen thank you for being here. I just ate an altoid so fast, im sure i have i thought i was going to stephen i have one before the show every night. Did you . Do they make you they normally make me sneeze, which, when youve had three children, can be a bit of a problem. Stephen i dont snort them. No, i dont snort them either. They just make me sneeze. I dont know why. Anyway, im going to sip this water because i just ate this altoid. Stephen you have to hydrate. You have to hydrate. We have to be out here for about an hour. Hello stephen hello. Nice to meet you. Stephen its nice to meet you. We were talking backstage, it was like, i felt like ive met you before, but no, weve never met. Stephen im just a fan, i guess. I guess i know you from your movies. Even from way back in the day, heavenly creatures, which was your first movie . Which was the first film i ever did, yes. cheers and applause stephen 24 years ago, Something Like that . Yeah, so, since im such an old lady now, it was 25 years ago. Stephen you were literally a teenager at the time. I was 17. Yeah, i was 17. Stephen how did that come about . Because its with one of my favorites directors, peter jackson. Peter jackson. So, the film, heavenly creatures, was about two young girls. One was english and one was from new zealand. And my character was living in new zealand with her family. And so they came to england and they found a casting director in the u. K. To find someone who looked quite similar to the girl that i ended up playing. And i was up for the part. Stephen what were you doing at 17 . Like, were you an actress . So, i had finished my school exams, and you see, contrary to what people often think about me, is that, people often think that i must have all these, you know, diplomas, and you know, things, and rubber stamps next to my name, and crests and things, and training, and all this kind of pedigree. I left school at 16, and i went to work in a delicatessen, to save money to get the train to london, to go on auditions. So i was working in a delicatessen, saving money to go to london to go on auditions. Stephen you were making sandwiches when you got the call . I was making sandwiches. So i was making sandwiches and id go to london and id do the auditions, and id go back to the delicatessen, and yes. It was about three months after my first audition, theyd called me back about four times, it was really painful. And the phone rang, and it was the strangest thing, there was something about the way the phone rang. I remember thinking, oh its for me laughter and the man who owned the delicatessen, kate, phone for you and i was like, oh and im mid im literally making a turkey sandwich. Ive got turkey in one hand and mayo in the other. And i look at this guy and, im so sorry, i i im so sorry, i cant make this sandwich for you anymore. And ran to the telephone, and it was, and it was, i had this child agent, and i never really got any jobs at all, or even auditions for that matter. And she said, well done, you got the part, and i had to leave work and go home. I got the bus and went home and told my family. Stephen and this was an agent for children, not a child agent . laughter it was an agent for children. Stephen i just want to make sure. It was an agent for children. Stephen i just want to make sure. Yes, youre right, i know, they do, they do. laughter stephen so, you took the bus to new zealand, right from there. Yes, i did. I got on the bus stephen and you shot in new zealand when you were 17. Did your family come with you . Or were you, like, by yourself at 17 . No, i went all by myself and it was an amazing experience. I was quite i was probably quite grown up for my age, more than probably most, i think. Stephen what lovely people to go work for, because peter jackson, and and fran, his wife. I just was so lucky, because the film i look back on it now, and i realize, you know, extraordinary story, which i knew, of course, at the time. But the script was so incredible, and looking back at that time, you know, there was so many boxes that i was able to tick in that one first movie experience, i learned so much. And sort of became a template for me, in terms of how i try and apply myself whenever im figuring out a new character that im going to play. Because you do learn on the job as an actor and that film involved so Much Research that i carried on doing it that way. Stephen did you love new zealand . I loved it so much, i know it quite well. I have lots of friends there and i have family there believe it or not and i know you had a trip there, isnt it the most incredible place . Stephen its amazing. You want to stay and say here i will be a man. Thats exactly right. laughter stephen the whole country looks like the world was just born minutes before. It does. Its a very, very beautiful corner of the universe. Stephen and theres nothing that can kill you. Thats true, nothing. Stephen there are no predators. Thats right and they talk about that all the time. Come here, theres nothing that will kill you guys, and its true. laughter stephen youve been both in huge commercial successes, you know, like titanic, coming up on the 20th anniversary right now. Crazy. cheers and applause so strange. Stephen for more small, art house critical hits, how do you make the decision . So, you know, its the honest answer is i dont really know how i make the decision. Stephen what youre going to do . I just kind of go on instinct, really. I really do, and im lucky that i have the choice stephen its how the telephone rings thats for me i think it must be. But, sometimes, honestly it can be the sound of the title. That sounds interesting. It can be the way, you know, the title sits on the front, wow, that looks good. The name of the character, id think id quite like to play that character. Stephen so, you literally judge a book by its cover. laughter no, i dont theres lots of things like who the director is going to be, who are the other actors, and all of that. Stephen will your kids weigh in . Oh, they get very involved. My daughter is 17 and my son, joe, is about to turn 14 and the little one there is nearly four, but they do now that theyre a little bit older and we sit down we have a big family pow wow. Okay, moms read this script, its really good, would love to do it. Stephen do you have to say describe the story . I have to describe the whole story and they say, yeah, you should definitely do that or they will say, well, i dont know, you know, i dont know sort of. My middle son will say, sort of sounds like you kind of played that role before, mom, and ill be like, damn it, hes right. Okay, all right, forget it. laughter stephen youre doing the new avatar movies, arent you . Yes, with avatar, they were like, dont even read the script obviously, yes. laughter why okay. Its not even a conversation. Its not just not up for discussion, you have to do it. Stephen did they even ask, you know, are you one of the big blue creatures . No, they didnt ask any of those questions. Stephen are you one of the big blue creatures . I dont think im allowed to say. Stephen yes you are. No, i dont think i am. Stephen im going to ask. Can she say . She can say. They said you can say. laughter are you a big blue creature . cheers and applause no, he would know. I am not allowed to say. laughter stephen youre a big blue creature then, if you cant say then you are because if you say im a human, then you could just be like doing my character is so fantastic. And im so excited. Stephen all right, good. And i so cant tell you anything else. laughter and im so sorry. Stephen is that going to shoot in new zealand . No, i dont get to go to new zealand. Stephen because they shot the first one at Peter Jacksons place in new zealand. Yes they did, thats right, and i have been there and its spectacular. Stephen so have i. laughter okay, now, you worked with Justin Timberlake. Yes. Stephen he was a guest on wednesday, Justin Timberlake, and hes in wonder wheel with you. He told me, or i read, that he shared a trailer with you. Thats true. So woody allen films are typically, theyre extremely low budget. But they really are. Like its not a pretend thing, like theyre made with very little money and you just you know what to expect when you get there and youre very much sharing trailers, which i didnt mind sharing with Justin Timberlake at all. laughter stephen he kind of was intimidated by you. Well, thats ridiculous. Stephen no, because he said that what made him nervous is that because the walls are so thin. I could hear him peeing. Stephen yes. laughter its true. Its completely true. I would always be at work a little bit before justin. So i would get to work and i would put the kettle on and id make mistake myself a cup of tea, being british. Im afraid it is something that i do. And i would know he was there because i would hear this trickling sound. laughter i would go morning, darling morning laughter and id go, oh, sing me a song laughter stephen would he sing you a song while he was bleep . Yeah. laughter stephen wow. Yeah. I mean, you got come on. I had to ask him stephen that should be in the movie. It should be. Stephen now, in the movie, you play a character named ginny i do. Stephen whos ginny . So ginny, the film is called wonder wheel and its set in 1950 and ginny is an oyster bar waitress. She was once an actress, not a particularly good one, and shes living a life that she didnt really think she would be living. She lives in coney island, she lives above a shooting alley in the middle of an amusement arcade. And shes married to hunty played by jim belushi. And her life is just very run of the mill, until she meets and falls in love with mickey the lifeguard, played by Justin Timberlake. And she starts to imagine possibly a different life until her stepdaughter, carolina, who is 21 years old and beautiful turns up and also takes a shining from mickey the lifeguard, and this makes ginny slightly lose her mind. laughter and do something quite terrible. Stephen we have a scene here where i think youre revealing your practicing im practicing so because ginny really fancied herself as this great actress, which she really truly never was. She actually says in the film, oh, i was in that play, i played one of the whores. That was the level of her career. So shes rehearsing, admitting to the lifeguard, Justin Timberlake, that shes really a married woman and she shouldnt really be having this love affair with him. Stephen jim. I want to be honest with you, mickey. Im married. Im a married woman. I want to be honest with you, mickey. Im a married woman. Im married, mickey. I felt strange mentioning it. Now that you asked. I got myself into a bad situation. I got myself, i got myself into a bad situation. cheers and applause stephen how hard must that be . Can i tell a little story . Stephen yes, of course. So i actually am really glad that you showed that clip, because woody allen is a really extraordinary artist and great director to work with. But, before you start shooting, hes a man of very few words. I was quite nervous about the dialect because i thought i dont want to choose something that is going to offend him and practicing these different voices. So i thought bleep im just going to record a piece of dialogue into my iphone and ill just send it to him and say is this is what ive been working on, what do you think . And it was that piece of dialogue that i sent to him. Stephen with that accent . With that accent and the response i got back after three agonizing days was, very good, nice job. I thought laughter okay, im in. Stephen but youre an actress pretending to be an actress practicing her lines. How did you practice practicing your lines as an actress being an actress . laughter laughs actually, in terms of practicing lines, it was the summer, because we shot this movie last autumn and the summer run was quite a White Knuckle ride of preparation. And all of my lovely outofwork actor friends i phoned them all up i said, ill cook for you, it will be all expenses, ill give you train fare, just please come down and learn lines with me. Just please, please, please. Oh, five days will be great well learn the lines together, and anyone i could find to help me, so even my little toddler, i would say to him, just sit there, darling, just sit and i would try and just do the lines just at him, just so i could feel like, and hes like what are you doing those silly voices for . laughter which of course hes saying that. Stephen ill run lines with you the next time. I love running lines. Youll hate it. laughter stephen we have to take a little bit of a commercial break but dont go away, well be right back with kate winslet, everybody. cheers and applause band playing theres Nothing Better than sharing a smile. Get a lays smile bag today and well make a donation to operation smile. Oh thanks. Say, yeah, i took your advice and had geico help with renters insurance it was really easy. Easy. Thatd be nice. Phone for help with chairs, say chair. Phone for help with bookcases, say bookcase. Bookcase. I thought this was the dresser . Isnt that the bed . Phone im sorry, i didnt understand. Phone for help with chairs, say chair. Does this mean were not going out . Bookcase. See how easy renters insurance can be at geico. Com. From the worlds number one conditioner brand. New pantene lightasair foam conditioner, full of rich prov nutrients. And infused with air. For 100 conditioning, with 0 weight. Strong is beautiful. New pantene. Foam conditioner. Its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. And its softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird we all go, why not enjoy the go with charmin . band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back to the late show, already in progress. Were here with my new friend kate winslet. Kate, let me ask you this, were coming up on the 20th anniversary of titanic, its being rereleased in december. Have you seen it in the Movie Theater recently . Obviously not. Stephen i dont know. laughter of course not. Stephen there are die hard titanic fans here at the late show, in the staff. cheers and applause im feeling a little bit lovely. Stephen ive got a separate card of questions here just from my staff. Well do a lightning round. Are you ready to answer a couple of 20th anniversary questions . Little bit scared; go for it. Stephen okay, how often do you listen to celine dions my heart will go on . Absolutely never. laughter stephen lets talk about the sweaty handprint scene, the sex in the car, was that scripted and how sweaty did it get in that car . I dont think it was scripted, i think we came up with it on the day. It did get quite sweaty in the car, but we were spritzed down with spray avion bottles to make us look like we were in the throes of stephen got it, okay, good. Acting by bottle. Did you get did you really get pneumonia after filming the scene in the water . No, but i did get hypothermia. Stephen okay, really . You were really cold . Yeah, i was really bleep cold laughter stephen why was it its pretend, why did they make it so cold you get hypothermia . Why didnt they act it, boy . laughs well we did do a bit of acting. Stephen a bit of acting, yeah, but why did it have to be cold . Ill tell you why. I think this is why. Stephen because it was a big tank in time. It was a long time ago. There were lots of big tanks and lots of water and that amount of water i think honestly they couldnt heat it. It was just too much of it. Stephen okay, could you keep a straight face when you said, draw me like one of your french girls . laughter what kind of a question is that . Stephen its a regular question. Its not mine, somebody else wrote this question. Could you keep a straight face . I think i probably did. But, i should have laughed. I mean i should have laughed and gone, dont be ridiculous. Stephen have your kids seen the movie . Half of it. Stephen have they seen that part of the movie . No, i dont think so. Actually, no, i do remember covering my sons eyes. Stephen okay, or you could cover the screen. One of those two. No, because it was in a big Movie Theater, it was when it came out in 3d. I was like, oh, i forgot about this bit laughter stephen 3d . 3d that makes it a totally different scene. Exactly. laughter stephen coming at you. It was at that point when he said, mom, can we go back to the hotel and get pudding . I was like, yes, absolutely, lets leave. Were leaving, were leaving. laughter stephen did leo draw that picture . No, jim cameron actually drew it. Thats maybe no one even knows that until this moment right now. Jim cameron actually drew that picture. Stephen wow, he drew the picture and he did sketch me, but he did actually sketch me in bathing suit. In a bathing suit. Stephen paramount wanted Matthew Mcconaughey as the role of jack but cameron insisted on leo. How would that have changed things . I auditioned with matthew, isnt that weird . Stephen you auditioned with Matthew Mcconaughey . Never said that in public before yes, i did, i auditioned with matthew, which was completely fantastic. Stephen it would have been a totally different southern accent. It just wouldnt have been the whole jack and rose, kate and leo thing. Stephen in the famous line you say, ill never let you go, jack, but you do. I lied. laughter i know. Stephen you let him go. I know. applause i agree, i lie, i fully lie. I hold my hand up, i let him go. Plus, he should have just tried harder to get on that door. Stephen totally enough room, right . Because i think he could have we could reenact it now, because this door stephen hold on, hold on. laughter okay, were now running around the counter, okay. laughter stephen promise me, rose, promise me this, rose. Promise me, rose. Promise me this, rose. What . Stephen youll let me get up on that door with you. Come on, darling, theres room for two. laughter cheers and applause yes yes, we did it stephen wonder wheel is in theaters tomorrow. Kate winslet well be right back. cheers and applause band playing flat toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. avo charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Proof of less joint pain. And clearer skin. This is my body of proof that i can fight Psoriatic Arthritis with humira. Humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. Humira is the number 1 prescribed biologic for Psoriatic Arthritis. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira. Humira. Whats your body of proof . Hereand you look amazinglylook comfortable. When your vneck looks more like a uneck. , thats when you know, its halfwashed, add downy to keep your collars from stretching, unlike detergent alone, downy conditions to smooth and strengthen fibers. So next time dont halfwash it. Downy and its done. Proud partner of the olympic winter games. cheers and applause its ok that everyone ignores its fine. Drive. Because i get a safe driving bonus check every six months im accident free. And i dont share it with mom right, mom . Righttt. Safe driving bonus checks. Only from allstate. Switching to allstate is worth it. I like yours too. Hair. Can i have some . Its not cool to ask that. Thanks, captain obvious. Online dating isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Instant savings now, free nights later. Hotels. Com this new day looks nothing like yesterday. Trails are covered. Paths arent what they used to be. Roads nowhere to be found. and its exactly what youre looking for. elevator speaker going down. Oh no. Peter . Its kristy. Camp jenkins . Maybe this will jog your memory. Alexa, play my funky place. alexa playing your music. Remember our dance . Yeah, im not peter. Alexa, note to self. Take the stairs next time. Get a free moto mod with amazon alexa when you buy a moto z2. Available at major carriers. When you buy a moto z2. Powerful skincare,s now lightasair a breakthrough moisturizer delightfully whipped for instant absorption feel a lightasair finish in a flash new olay whips ageless stephen and now, performing sadboy from their new album, visions of a life, ladies and gentlemen, wolf alice cheers and applause who hurt you, sadboy . Theres a dark cloud above your head who hurt you, sadboy . You act like youre already dead but you think too much hey, you think too much who hurt you, fashion boy . Theres a dark cloud above your head who hurt you, sadboy . You act like youre already dead but you think too much hey probably drink too much hey bathe in that blue light baby cause here comes the night your truest friend i was waiting waiting for anything to happen waiting for a love i was just waiting for this not to hurt i was waiting waiting for anything to happen waiting for a love i was just waiting for this not to hurt i was waiting waiting for anything to happen waiting for a love i was just waiting for this not to hurt waiting for anything to happen waiting for a love i was just waiting for this not to hurt cheers and applause stephen catch them on tour now. Wolf alice, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause kelp is on the way with herbal essences we said no, no, no to this stuff. And yes, yes, yes to bio renew. Made with active antioxidants that work from the inside out. To help animate lifeless hair, and bring it back to life. Find aahs and oos in every fresh bottle of herbal essences bio renew. Let life in. Stephen well, thats it for the late show, everybody. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show cheers and applause reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from inside a package of tapioca pudding, give it up for youros