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Like obstructducken. Anyway, whatever it is, its pretty bad. Its not that bad. Now, trumps attorney and Melissa Mccarthy disguised as wilford brimley, ty cobb declined to comment. Thats not good. Maybe trump should ask his lawyer if he can fear his lawyer. But donald trump did comment. Did you seek to fire mueller. Fake news, folks, fake news. Stephen man that is his answer to everything lets test that proposition. Mr. President , how do you respond to the allegation that you are mentally competent . Fake news, folks, fake news. Stephen all right, sir, ive heard that you weigh 239 pounds. Fake news, folks, fake news. Stephen how would you characterize your claim that the report of you trying to fire mueller is fake news . Fake news, folks, fake news. Stephen anyway, thats the thing we didnt get to talk about last night and now we have. So enjoy tonights show. Its a great one. Weve got a surprise guest im not gonna tell you who it is. Its miley cyrus. Ill see you monday. Okay, ill take that now. Ahhh its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight john kelly left home alone. Plus, stephen welcomes Kyle Maclachlan deon cole and a special appearance by miley cyrus. Plus musical guest Julia Michaels. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen nicely done. Hey, everybody please, sit down youre very kind very kind very bright. Thank you. Thank you. What a lovely unmistakable friday audience you are. Thank you so much for being here. Welcome, welcome, one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, friday. The president has had an exciting week. He just is he back. Hes just come back from the World Economic forum in davos and a lot of people are talking about the fact that because of some tension at home, trump left for davos without his better half john kelly. laughter instead, he left kelly in washington to negotiate on immigration. And thats not easy, because immigration has been a hot button issue in america since about. 1492. laughter now, trump has ordered Law Enforcement to keep dangerous immigrants off the streets, and earlier this week, they caught one, because Border Patrol agents arrested an arizona man who worked with a group that offers food and water to immigrants. This bring to mind the famous mr. Rogers quote wont you be my neighbor now, technically this volunteer didnt assist anyone to cross the border, but he was charged with federal charges of alien smuggling. And i believe we have footage of him committing that crime. They are going to need a really high wall. Heres a quick question who here watches tv . cheers and applause good, good. Or else i wouldnt even know how you knew who i was. So this week there was an absolutely gutwrenching episode of this is us weve been waiting for two seasons to find out how the father, jack, dies. Well, last episode we found out that he turns off the familys old, janky crockpot, goes to bed, it shorts out, bursts into flames, and the house is incinerated. It was tvs most harrowing kitchenappliancebased character death since frasier swallowed that can opener. laughter naturally, this is us fans were traumatized, and they turned their fury against their crockpots, tweeting things like, my mom just threw our crockpot out, and, i just threw my crockpot out the window. Thisisus. Okay, a note here. Your crockpot wont really catch fire, but throwing it out the window can give someone a pretty serious head injury. Of course, the good people at crockpot rushed into crisis mode, which is right next to simmer. laughter oh, mmm. You ever had any crisis beef . Its so good. They issued a statement this is true, saying crockpot understands the concerns brought up by last nights episode of this is us, and we, too, are heartbroken by the latest development in jacks storyline. Our hope is that the team at nbcs this is us will help us in spreading factual information regarding our products safety. laughter applause yeah, its important. Thats the job. Jon you gotta tell the truth. Stephen thats nbcs job. I gotta tell you, thats going to make for a really compelling episode oh, my god, i loved when randall and beth started talking about rotary knob testing and lowwattage selfregulating heating elements. Of course, america turns to the late show for one thing, and one thing only monkey news. And theres no bigger monkey story than what im about to tell them. Because chinese scientists have successfully cloned monkeys. Thats right. At long last, scientists have cloned monkeys, which solves the problem of. Not enough similarlooking monkeys . laughter the monkeys were made from fetal cells grown in a petri dish, and are healthy, longtailed macaques named zhong zhong and hua hua, which is chinese for organ farm one and organ farm two. laughter jon oh, snap oh, my. Stephen according to experts, this is the first time a primate has ever been cloned. We are closer to humans than weve ever been before. Wait, is this just a way for scientists to meet other humans . Guys they have match. Com, now you dont have to become monsters. And personally i love theres no way this could go wrong. Its like the plot of the classic movie planet of the completely uneventful primate cloning experiment. And i believe weve acquired a clip of the dramatic climax. You maniacs, you did a good job with the monkey cloning, and i dont foresee any issues stephen that really gets you. Such a surprise ending. Well, i hope the superintelligent monkeys dont take over in the next couple of days, because this sunday on cbs is musics biggest night the grammys cheers and applause grammys jon grammys. Stephen i dont know why i said it that way. I just want to sing. Ill be watching because, contractually, my television is not allowed to be turned to any cbs. Its going to be hosted by our friend james corden, who will welcome such performers as u2, rihanna, bruno mars, lady gaga, and pink. I cant wait to see james try to fit all those people in his car. A lot of the musical acts are people who have been my guest right here on the late show kendrick lamar, lady antebellum, sting, coldplay, and they havent announced this yet, but one of my alltime favorite guests will be debuting his new banjo act, neil debluegrasse tyson. Yet, neil debluegrasse. Hell explain to you why, scientifically, you do enjoy his music. Jon, youre performing, too . Jon yes, indeed, fats domino. The late fats dom me. Lifetime achievement award. Stephen i have to check that out. I heard great things about you jon. But the performance im most excited for is a duet between elton john and miley cyrus. This is amazing, because im a huge elton fan. Ive got all of his albums. This is true. I was in an elton john cover band called nebula 5 when i was in third grade. And i would say im definitely the biggest elton john fan in the world, bar none. Oh, no youre not, stephen cheers and applause Stephen Miley cyrus hi, everybody Stephen Miley, thank you so much. Good to see you. Wow. Hi, everybody. Stephen you look fantastic. Thank you, so much. Thank you Stephen Miley, i gotta ask thank you so much. You can see people are excited to see you here. Miley what on earth are you doing here. I have to tell you, im eltons number one fan. Oh, really . Yeah. Stephen i think i am. I grew up listening to elton john, and im easily, like, five years older than you are. Laugh please. I know everything about elton. Stephen okay, prove it. What was the first album ever to go platinum in preorders before it was even released . Goodbye yellow brick road, 1973. Whats the bestselling chart single of all time . Stephen candle in the wind. Which one, norma jean or Englands Rose . Stephen please. Englands rose, 1997, 33 million copies. Okay, who did elton john play in the 2017 movie kingsman Golden Circle . He played elton john. What about in the 1997 movie spice world . Stephen he played elton john. But a younger elton john. Thats how great his range is. Come on, stephen, look what im wearing. Check out my shoes. Look at my jacket, and my glasses. cheers and applause what does this say to you . What does this say to you . Stephen it says youre trying too hard. laughter answer me this who did he perform with at the 2001 grammys . Eminem. But who is he performing with at the 2018 grammys . Stephen miley cyrus. Damn it cheers and applause damn it look, stephen, we dont need to argue. We clearly are both huge fans of elton. Stephen youre right, youre right, miley. Its friday night, and friday nights not right for fighting. But you know what is an all right night for fighting . Stephen i like what youre thinking. Jon . band playing saturday nights alright for fighting just got a letter from his lawyer here elton sent a cease and desist it seems we never got the rights to the song and if we play it he will be pissed if you want to hear some elton john, theres only one show to she sunday nights all right for the agreements sunday night with elton and me, and me woooooooo Stephen Miley cyrus, everybody stick around, well be right back sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday thanks for loading, sweetie. Oh, burnton gravy . Gotta rinse that. Nope. No way. Nada. Really . Dish issues . Throw it all in. Cascade platinum powers through even burnton gravy. Nice. Cascade. Oh, bababy hey babababy oh, babybaby look, look so good oh hey oh, bababy hey babababy oh, babybaby look, look so good oh, bababy look so good are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Oh, bababy try zyrtec®. Its starts working hard at hour one. And works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. Your friend just marea. You like her. Shes really good at social media. She buys stocks in companies that stand for something. You like her. Shes always up on the latest trends. She got in early on the whole goat yoga thing. And her sunsets are always nofilter. You like her. But youd like her better if you made more money than she does. Dont get mad at just marea. Get eatrade. [click] [silence] [click] why is the screen empty . thank you espresso blonde starbucks band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human right there. Matty rice on guitar cheers and applause jon so hot, so hot. Yeah. Stephen hey, listen, folks. Jon its hot, its hot. Stephen fantastic. So great to see miley cyrus here. Great voice. Im very excited about our shows next week, jon. Tuesday nights show, i dont think i need to remind you. Its live after the state of the union. Donald trump is giving his first state of the union and i understand understand im not sure this is true but i think miley cyrus is opening for him. It will be amazing. Everybody loves miley. Anyone who watches this show knows i love Artificial Intelligence. laughter i cowl use this. It is its my favorite way of autocorrecting misspelled words into correctly spelled words that werent the words i wanted laughter is there anything Artificial Intelligence can do . Well, the best way to answer that is to put it into everything in your house and see what happens. This is cyborgasm, home edition. First up tonight, a. I. Is coming to your kitchen thanks to cloi, spelled with an i, for innoying. laughter cloi is designed to help you run your smart appliances, and a recent demonstration was a real showstopper. So, let me demonstrate. Cloi, whats for dinner tonight . silence okay, cloi is not going to talk to me. Cloi doesnt like me, evidently. So in this case, were going to go to find out that weve got chicken in the refrigerator, and its expiring in three days. It looks like we should use the chicken. Cloi, are you talking to me yet . What recipes could i make with chicken . silence laughter okay, were going to search recipes. Stephen that sounds like a couple on the verge of divorce laughter honey, what do you want for dinner tonight . She doesnt like me, evidently. Are you talking to me yet . Okay, were gonna search the liquor cabinet. laughter but if you think talking to your fridge is stupid, wait until you talk to your toilet, thanks to kohler numi, a highend toilet that connects to the internet and responds to voice commands through amazon alexa. At last the one thing my trips to the bathroom were missing was a cloudconnected computer recording the experience and uploading my download. laughter applause jon ooooh stephen thank you very much. Okay we found we found the pocket. Lets see the kohler in action. Alan . Alexa, ask kohler to flush the toilet. toilet flushing okay. Stephen neat and if the kohler could talk back, i think it might say alexa, please ask alan to stop pooping in me. laughter so how much for this miracle toilet . The numi runs 5,625 dollars, and up. Stephen or you can just flush five grand down your current toilet. laughter warning youll have to do it manually. But it doesnt just help in the kitchen and the bathroom. A. I. Can also help to ignore loved ones. There are lots of cute robots, but elliq here has a very specific audience in mind seniors. Stephen perfect, because seniors love technology. The new elliq will help the elderly text, facetime, and do other online activities, as shown in their promotional video. Elliq reminds me to take my meds, arranges rides for me. She even reminds me of all my appointments mary, dont forget bridge with the golden girls at 1 00 p. M. Would you like to practice . Oh, i dont need practice. I didnt catch that. Do you want to play bridge or not . Oh, fine. Stephen i said its time for bridge practice. Dont upset me, mary. It would be a shame if someone mixed up your meds. laughter elliq even keeps you in touch with loved ones through social media. Mary, megan sent a new photo. Would you like to look at it . Yes, please. Oh, hes a gem would you like to respond to megans post . Sure recording in three, two, one. Stephen hi, megan. Its your mom. The photos a gem also, can you please come here . This thing keeps forcing me to play bridge and im scared. And these folks know their audience because they call elliq the gizmo that gets you. Again, perfect marketing to seniors. Nana, we bought you a robot. Its going to get you. laughter well be right back with Kyle Maclachlan. With 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body, no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. in the lincoln continental. Ohhhhhh, ou guess what i just got . Uh i used to be spellbound hello again. I used to be spellbound hi. I used to be spellbound thats a big phone. In your arms. [screams] ah, my phone. You built the flame that warms my heart, but lying and cheating has torn us apart and im moving on. [ laughs ] rodney. Bowling. Classic. Can i help you . Its me. Jamie. Im not good with names. Celeste i trained you. We share a locker. Moose man yo. He gets two name your price tools. He gets two . I literally coined the phrase, we give you Coverage Options based on your budget. Thats me. Jamie yeah. Youre back from italy. [ both smooch ] ciao bella. [ both smooch ] fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. Lyrics things are gonna get lyricseasier. O child lyrics oohoo child, lyrics thingsll get brighter. Lyrics oohoo child lyrics things are gonna get easier. Lyrics oohoo child, lyrics thingsll get brighter. Stephen ladies and folks, my first guest stars as special agent dale cooper in twin peaks and as the mayor in portlandia. Please welcome, Kyle Maclachlan applause what a nice thing. Stephen theyre lovely. Theyre lovely people. A lovely group tonight. Thank you so much. cheers and applause upon. Stephen theyre excited to see Kyle Maclachlan. Now, listen, im excited to see Kyle Maclachlan, too. We met years ago. We did. Stephen about eight years ago at the Kennedy Center. Thats where it was. Stephen that was the only time we met. I didnt have a chance to tell you that night but i wanted to meet you in person because when i was younger, when i was first out of college and blew velvet came out, my friends were like, oh, my god. Thats you. You look just like that guy in blue velvet. Yes. Stephen i wanted to meet you and do a sidebyside. Can we get a closeup . Can we get closer than that . cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen i cant see a thing out of these. Thats pretty good. So i buy it. I totally buy it. I could be like a freaky character who comes on in twin peaks. Wait, is that the guy or is that a different guy . That would be perfect. You could be my eighth character i play on twin peaks. Stephen but ill tell you the part the part that i was most jealous of is im a big fan of dune. I heard that. Stephen yes. What a great, great book. Stephen amazing. When had you read the books before you got the part . Yes, jim lumbard gave me the book when i was 15 years old, my friend jimlumbard and i hope hes watching and he said, you have to read this book. It took me three tries to get past page 60. I dont know about you, but so many things coming at you. Stephen there are a the love names coming at you. But it was my Favorite Book for years. I wrote dune quotes on my pleasure teachers mrs. Krago on her blackboard, i would write quotes. This is from eighth grade. Stephen fear is the mind firskiller. I will let fear pass through me. Only i will remain. Stephen exactly. Eighth grade, of course, its all about fear. Stephen because you thought some day i will play paul. Did you think that . No. Stephen i thought. I read dune my freshman year of equip dune. I said i must play paul. You would have been perfect. Stephen and then i saw that you got the part, and i was really angry at Kyle Maclachlan. I didnt work at that point, but anyway when you met me at the Kennedy Center you said, well, hes actually okay. Stephen yeah, i did. I had a lot to drink. Now, most people know you from your collaborations with david lynch. Yes. Stephen obviously, dune was dune first . Dune was number one. Stephen then blue velvet. And, of course, twin peaks. The first time and now the second time. First time, 20something years later. Stephen whats it like to be directed by him . Because yeah. Stephen the projects are brilliant, but a bit odd. Im wondering how he explains what he wants from an actor. We have a shorthand, after all the years working together, and david has a very particular way of directing not just me but everyone who works with him. For me he would Say Something like, now, kale, kale he calls me kale, thats another story. Because during dune dino de la rentis who produced it couldnt call me kyle. And david picked that up, and so now he calls me kale. He says, kale, it meedz more elvis. Give me a little more elvis. Or, it is more the mystery here. Or a wind, think of a wind. laughter cheers and applause stephen uhhuh. Sorry, david. So im like but for me, thats perfect thats perfect. It just gives me enough. I know exactly what hes talking about, and off we go and we make these these crazy things. Stephen but do you always know what it is youre making . No. Stephen for instance laugh because the projects are often quite odd, and im on the train for twin peaks. I just have no bleep idea where the train is going. Well, no, but that laughter david, david doesnt really care what where what you think, where you think youre going. Youre on the train, and you think youre going somewhere. But hes like, no, no. Im taking you where i want you to go. So you get on the train and the doors close, and there you go. Stephen what about, like, when you get your shot list for the day, the things that youre supposed to do . Can you get a sense of what it is . For instance, this last sequence we did is like im falling through space for quite a long time. I land on the edge of a balcony, kind of in a concrete looking out over the ocean. It looks kind of 30s. I walk through the window casements, i walk in, and i meet a woman with noize sitting in front of a fireplace. And we have a conversation where shes trying to warn me of something but she doesnt speak english. Meanwhile, theres a loud banging outside here thats really causing us a lot of consternation. We get up, we walk on to a ladder. We climb on to the roof and stand on a platform which is floating in a void. laughter shes trying to push a lever. Im looking down and i see the head of major garland briggs floating beneath me like a giant blue whale. And im like, its david lynch. Thats where im going. Stephen wow. Im good goodwith it. Stephen thats my job today. Thats my job today. Stephen you got another show, you play the mayor of portland in portlandia. cheers and applause yes. Stephen and youre youre from the pacific northwest, right . I am i grew up in yakima, yakima, washington. No, not possible. Stephen just give it to them. Okay, youre good. Stephen now, do you think that you are playing a caricature of someone from the pacific northwest, or is this what people from portland are like. Theyre very enthusiastic, and the mayor is very enthusiastic, and the people in portland, theyre very committed people. If they believe in something your thing could be you forage for mushrooms, but a certain kind of mushroom on a certain hill on the northfacing slope of that hill, under certain trees, and thats your thing. And when you forage, you bring them back to portland to sell to the restaurants there. And you can make a living doing that. Stephen well, that doesnt sound bad. Not so bad, right gr we have a clip here of you, the mayor, being passionate. I think about diversity. Yes, to our city. Stephen okay. Stephen jim, i think we have a clip here of kyle as kale as the mayor. This. Did you see this . Its common knowledge, portland is very white. Yes, but least diverse . Least . I dont want to be the least at anything. You know, i actually think thats a great idea. I think its a good time to do some soulsearching, to ask ourselves the tough questions. The tough questions i want to ask is why that journalist is printing these lies . I have many people of color working here at city hall, many people of color. Thats great. Yes, sam, get in here. Yes, sir. Sam, are you white . I am. Damn it. But youre gay, right . Yes. A rainbow isnt white. applause stephen heartfelt. Heartfelt they are headlight felt. Stephen you have done something that is very portland. You started your own wine country. I did. Stephen would you mind. Its definitely cocktail hour. Stephen we have a bottle of your cabernet saf none reserve, pursued by bear. Pursued by bear. Very good. Stephen i am not a big wine guy that looks really punch in the mouth right there. Did you notice the twist of the bottle . Stephen what do you think . I was a waiter. I was an actor you learned from the best. Stephen did you did you ever wait tables . I never waited table s. Stephen you know why because you were paul and i was waiting tables. I dont know about tasting notes or anything like that. So what do i need to smell here . You vuftv to look, you know, sort of serious and interested an catch some of the aroma in the glass. And you want to swirl a little bit to make the aroam as come. Stephen right, right, right. You say im getting hints you can say notes, you can say hints. Im getting notes of blueberry. Stephen im getting a little sour cherry. Sour cherry, very, very good. Stephen sour cherry. And then you have a little taste. Mmm you can say things like, i get pencil lead. A little bit of pencil lead. Stephen bleep , pencil lead. Not kidding. Pencil lead. You can do wet stone, a little bit of wet stone, perhaps. Stephen just a hint of gym bag left in a locker. Thats okay. Stephen wet stone tastes like something . Yeah, it gives you stephen what does west wet stone taste like . Whatever you sort of taste in there, the flavors, it reminds of you of, you know, there can be certain kinds of mushrooms. But you want to then bring it back, yes overriding there is a chocolate, darkfruit cherry kind of flavors. Stephen and is there any way of knowing whether youre lying to me . laughter because its all subjective, right . As long as you keep your face very serious. Stephen ill say thisy, though, this is not a vanity bottle of wine. This is absolutely delicious. Thank you very much. Stephen i could stick a straw in this and suck it down. Kyle, thank you so much. Thank you for the hints of cherry. The final season of portlandia airs thursday nights on ifc. Kyle maclachlan, everybody well be right back with deon cole. New year, new phones for the family. Join tmobile, and when you buy one of the latest Samsung Galaxy phones get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. Yahoooo ahoooo plus, unlimited family plans come with netflix included. Spectacular so, you can watch all your netflix favorites on your new samsung phones. Whoa join the uncarrier and get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. All on americas best unlimited network. Oh, its actually. Sfx short balloon squeal its ver. Sfx balloon squeals ok can we. Sfx balloon squeals goodbye oof, that milk in your coffee was messing with you, wasnt it . Try lactaid, its real milk, without that annoying lactose. Good right . Yeah. Lactaid. The milk that doesnt mess with you. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back t the late show. My next guest you know from blackish. Please welcome stephe dean c. Oh, man stephen i like a guest that dresses up. Yeah i was so happy to be here stephen were happy to have you. I dont know man, im stephen may i . Yeah, yeah. Stephen this is like this is like interesting. This is like camovelvet. I dont know if you can see this. This is a camo pattern. Im not overdressed am i . Not at all. I hate coming overdressed. Stephen if i said you were overdressed, fisaid you were overdressed, where would you lie that you had just come from . From a funeral interview. laughter you wer stephen you were in n interview at a funeral or to be part of the funeral or to be the corpse . I would have left by the time you figured that out. Stephen i like it, thats a beautiful necklace. Oh, thank you so much man, do you know how many years ive been doing comedy trying to get to this spot right now and im here cheers and applause do you know stephen congratulations, congratulations. Do you know stephen i dont, actually. I dont actually know. Let me ask you, how many years have you been doing comedy. 25 years, chicagos own, and im here right now. This is great. Stephen i love chicago. I lived there for 11 years. Thats where i started off, chicago, great comedy town. Yeah, absolutely. Like, when youre coming up up as a comedian or anybody in the arts in chicago, the gangsters and pimps will leave you alone and let you do your stuff. Stephen wait, so say theres some gangster in your neighborhood, pimp in your neighborhood, how does he know . Do you say, im a comedian . Do you have a card. If they say, come join the gang. I say, im an actor. And he says, do your thing, brother. Stephen wouldnt everybody say theyre an actor then . Everybody wouldnt do that, though, because they dont think fast, you know. My first head shot, a pimp bought it. Stephen a pimp bought your first head shot. Yeah, yeah. You got it . Stephen they gave me something. I dont know if this is what youre talking about. Is that it . Yeah stephen wait a second. This is your photo for a show shawrp in, and a pimp paid for this. Thats why im not smiling. laughter stephen how did how did you get the money from the pimp . Did you say, skews me, circ i was needing a head shot. Would you give me some pimp money . Or did he come up to you. You dont want to know where that money came from. Stephen all right all right. But i made it happen. Stephen youre on a ton of shows right now. Youre on blackish, angie tribeca, youre on the game show face value. Face value, yes. Stephen has success changed you at all . A little bit when it comes to, like, you know, as far as dating. I dont have time to date at all. Like if i go out i just walk up to a group of women and go, who like me . laughter and ill be back with a drink for the winner. Stephen do many hands go up at this point . Well, they do sit back and they go, i guess ill take him. laughter . Stephen thats nice. It cuts down a lot of time. Stephen absolutely. You know what im saying . Thats about the only thing that changed. I changed the way i eat cereal, i found a great way to eat cereal. Stephen i heard about this. I think they brought footage. Can you explain what were about to see . Nope. Stephen, okay, lets all discover. applause stephen you gotta get a patent on that somehow. I do, dont i. Stephen patent, like the double bowl, or Something Like that. Now youre on grownish can which is the college spinoff of blackish. Are you getting recognized by a different audience. Because now its on free form, its on free form. Stephen it used to be abc family channel. Now its free form. A younger audience . Its a longer audience. Its cool, i lot of my castmates, but these millennials, i cant stand them, man. Stephen really . They got they know all everything they supposed to know. They got all the information in the world. They know everything but what they should know, you know . Like being nice. laughter applause they just think they got everything under the sun, and they think and i honestly blame their parents, too. Their parents raised them to think they are the best thing that this world ever seen, and theyre always right, and everyone else is wrong. But then when they get in the real world and we tell them they suck, they cant handle it. laughter all im saying is everybodys drawing cant go on the refrigerator. laughter applause stephen words to live by. Words to live by. So great to meet you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Stephen grownish ends wednesday on free form. Dean cole, everybody. Week. cheers and applause they came out of nowhere, sir how many of em . We dont know. Dozens. All right lets teach these freaks some manners good luck out there, captain thanks but i dont need luck, i have skills. I dont have my keys. on intercom all hands. We are looking for the captains keys again. They are on a silver carabiner. Oh, this is bad. As long as people misplace their keys, you can count on geico saving folks money. 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Pick the best peak for your family getaway at iloveny. Com new york state. Its all here. Its only here. Sfx ominous musicshakes. Mmm. Sfx boing boing boing sfx screech tic tac orange. An irresistible burst of flavor. Tic tac. Go little. Sfx tic tac pack shakes. Stephen and now, performing a medley of her grammynominated debut single issues, and heaven from the Fifty Shades Freed soundtrack, ladies and gentlemen, Julia Michaels cheers and applause im jealous im over zealous when im down i get real down when im high i dont come down i get angry baby believe me i can love you just like that and i can leave you just as fast but you dont judge me cause if you did than baby i would judge you too no you dont judge me cause if you did than baby i would judge you too i got issues but you got em too so give em all to me and ill give mine to you bask in the glory of all our problems cause we got that kind of love it takes to solve em yeah, i got issues and one of them is how bad i need you loves my religion but he was my faith something so sacred so hard to replace falling for him was like falling from grace all wrapped in one he was so many scents wouldve done anything everything for him and if you asked me i would do it again no need to imagine cause ill know its true they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you its automatic its just what they do they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you you dont realize the power they have until they leave you and you want them back nothing in this world prepares you for that im not just saying that he wasnt the one had no idea what we would become theres no regrets i just thought it was fun cause ill know its true they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you its automatic its just what they do they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you i still remember the moment we met the touch that he planted the garden he left i guess the rain was just half that affect no need to imagine cause ill know its true they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you its automatic its just what they do they say all good boys go to heaven but bad boys bring heaven to you cheers and applause stephen well be right back. Do i use. One thatsthat wgood for my teeth . Now i dont have to choose from crest 3d white comes new whitening therapy. Its our best whitening technology. Plus, it has a fortifying formula to protect your enamel. Crest. Healthy, beautiful smiles for life. Ito become dangerous. D for an everyday item new tide pods child guard pack. Helps keep your laundry pacs safe and your child safer. Align, press and unzip. Sorry. I cant make it. Its just my eczema again, but its fine. Yeah, its fine. You ok . Eczema. Its fine. Hey hi arent you hot . Eczema again . Its fine. I saw something the other day. Eczema exposed. Your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. Maybe you should ask your doctor . Go to eczemaexposed. Com to learn more. Kelp is on the way with herbal essences we said no, no, no to this stuff. And yes, yes, yes to bio renew. Made with active antioxidants that work from the inside out. To help animate lifeless hair, and bring it back to life. Find aahs and oos in every fresh bottle of herbal essences bio renew. Let life in. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody join me next week well be live after tuesdays state of the union good night cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from central australia, give it up for your host, the one, the only, james

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