Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight its more moore. Plus, stephen welcomes mark hamill and bobby flay featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause . Stephen thank you very much. Thank you all good . Excellent. Hey, everybody jon batiste as i live and breathe. Hows itin it going . Good to see you. cheers and applause welcome, everybody. Please, sit down youre very kind. Sit down please, enjoy the seats what do i have there . Thank you, sit down. Please. Sit, sit, sit welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Is it off . Did i get it off . I came to the station tonight crawling through the steam tunnel. I got dust on me. Its friday, a big weekend ahead. Everybody is everyone is gearing up for tuesdays special election in alabama to decide the fate of Senate Candidate and billythelikeskids, roy moore. Eight women have accused moore of Sexual Misconduct while they were young teenagers, but donald trump still supports him, so tonight, trumps holding a giant rally, in a different state florida. Pensacola, in fact, because it turns out, pensacola is in the same media market as areas such mobile, alabama. So to campaign for moore, trump is crossing state lines, something moore legally cant do with his dates. laughter and if you had any doubt about trumps intentions, trumps daughterinlaw, lara recorded a robocall for moore supporters inviting them to the president s appearance in pensacola. They also got a handwritten letter from her husband, eric. Come see my daddy, haha penis. True story. We didnt make that picture up. Thats a real picture. laughter but my favorite part of the rally is the video that came with trumps announcement. Jim . Make America Great again make America Great again lift the torch of freedom all across the land stephen by the way, i lost my virginity to that song. laughter then, on saturday, trump will be in mississippi, attending the opening of the states civil rights museum. Awkward in fact, the president of the n. A. A. C. P. Called trumps appearance an affront to the veterans of the civil rights movement. Well, an affront applause yeah. Jon yeah, uhhuh. Stephen now, people in mississippi are dreading that trump will speak at the Museum Opening with one editorial saying, if trump is handed a microphone, he will undoubtedly fumble a trotted out speech, embarrassing and infuriating mississippiians everywhere. Look, look, there were very fine people on both sides of that lunch counter, okay . Hey, fun fact did you know theres also a Vice President . Its former indiana governor and man who thinks seltzer water is too spicy, mike pence. Laugh well, the atlantic just published an indepth profile on pence, and theres all kinds of juicy nuggets in there. For instance, pence was a fat little kid or, as he put it, the real pumpkin in the pickle patch. That is the folksiest way to describe childhood sadness ive ever heard. Yep, i was a pumpkin in a pickle patch, a lemon in the ol mellon bowl, a real weeping loner at the freshman formal. Whoops, that wasnt a metaphor. laughter they also include some of mike pences Crazy College shenanigans. Sigh are sue, bation thulg, see, back then, his College Fraternity threw a keg party, which attracted the attention of one of the deans. So his frat brothers scrambled to hide the kegs and plastic cups, but then pence met the administrator at the door, and led the dean straight to the kegs and admitted that they belonged to the fraternity. The resulting punishment was severe. Yes, the frat was never allowed to hold another frat party. Is what they told mike pence. laughter cant do it, mike. Sorry. No. Were going to stay in and study, too the piece also profiles pences term in congress, where pence didnt have a reputation for legislative acumen, and some of his colleagues called him a nickname behind his back mike dense. Haha ha and i hope soon hell be president dense. But what really comes through in this piece is pences belief that hes doing the lords work. As the article puts it, what critics should worry about is not that pence believes in god, but that he seems so certain god believes in him. And i, for one, cant help but wonder if god really does believe in pence. Well, then, why dont you ask him, you dingus . Stephen hey its god, everybody hey, everybody stephen i gotta say i didnt expect to see you again, lord. Oh, you never know where im going to show up sometimes in a sunset, sometimes on a Grilled Cheese sandwich. Not anymore, though. Im lactose intolerant. Stephen i didnt know that. Oh, yeah, thats where thunder comes from. laughter stephen so, lord, i have to ask you something, is it true do you believe in mike pence . Of course i do. He talks to me every day. Every day, its god give me strength to be a good man and not lust after the harlots in the l. L. Bean catalogue. Some of those khaki pants are pretty flattering. Stephen so, have you always had faith in mike sense . Yeah, though i had a phase in college. Sometimes id stay up late with my dorm buddies and debate the existence of mike pence. I mean, an old guy with white hair silently judging everyone . Kinda farfetched. laughter stephen how about now . I mean, do you think mike pence should be president . None of my business. My vote doesnt count. Im registered in heaven, not ohio. Also, im a convicted felon. Stephen what . laughter what yeah, i told a guy to stab his son. Turns out, thats illegal. Who knew . Sorry, isaac. Stephen god, everyone thank you. Stop by any time. Thank you, stephen. Good to see you. Stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Mark hamill is here. But when we return, ive got an exclusive new scene from a galaxy far, far away. Stick around, everybody. applause un poquito mas rapido, no . [instrumental music playing hthroughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. Ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] Carlos Carlos dr. Brad needs to see you in room 3. [wheel squeaking] [heart monitor beeping] if you could see your cough, youd see all the sickness youre spreading. Robitussin cf max. Nothing lasts longer and treats more symptoms for your cough, cold and flu. elevator bell ringing robitussin cf max severe. Because its never just a cough. Robitussin cf max severe. At tmobile, when you holiday together, great things come in twos. Like tmobile and netflix. Right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. Ho ho ho tmobile covers your netflix subscription. 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Now only 29. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Jon batiste and stay human right there wooo oh, my goodness jon, im so excited. Its the weekend. Im going to get the final shopping done. Its all going to be great. Jon friday stephen everybody is going to get new pillows from that my pillow guy. Everybody in my life. Theyreally gutting pillows. Were all sleepy these days. Jon we need to lay down a little bit. Stephen you canital im a lit candle right now, and the reason im so excited is we have mark hamill here tonight to talk about the last jedi. Luke skywalker, himself ive been a fan of his for so long. Because unlike most people, i didnt jump on the bandwagon when he became a jedi. I was into him way back when he was just a moisture farmer, in fact, before it was cool. Obviously, the original movies are classics, and im loving the new trilogy just as much. But because there was a 30year gap between them, we have no idea what luke was up to during that time. We missed out on so many exciting adventures because those movies were never made. But, fortunately, we do have a clip tonight from those nonexistant films. Jim . laughter sniffs stephen emilio, a bantha, crapped in the parking lot, ill call you back. Is that blaster loaded . Go on in. Remember our policy. Always shoot first cheers and applause excuse me. cheers and applause excuse me, sir, sir. Stephen ahah yes . Im being followed by soldiers of the first order. I need get into the cantina stephen were all trying to get somewhere, sir. laughter its a big galaxy. Lots of things are far, far away. Okay . Just a moment. Im coming off my break. Welcome to the mos eisley cantina, a wretched hive of scum and villainy, live music nightly. How i can help you . Finally. Will you let me in now . Stephen in your jammies . Okay. Lets see if youre on the list. Last name . Skywalker. Stephen lets see. Hmmm. I dont see a sky walter. No. Sky walker. Luke skywalker. Stephen luke, luke, luke, okay. Ive got a luke starkiller. Is that close . Well, thats a dumb name. Let me see that list. These are all fake names general grievous . Count dooku . Jarjar binks . Now that ones got to be a mistake. Laugh stephen well, youre one to talk, okay. applause you are one to talk, mr. Space jogger. laughter i said its skywalker seriously, youve never heard of me . I blew up the death star twice stephen im not really into scifi. laughter well, its not fi it actually happened. And its not really sci its more like kind of a space western. Stephen that will never work. I did not want to do this, but, you will let me into the cantina. Stephen no, i wont. I already told you that. I just said that a second ago. You will let me in the cantina. Stephen what are you weaving at . Are you tring to do this thing . Nanu, nanu. Look, i didnt want to do this, but do you know who my father is . laughter stephen im gonna guess Dave Skywalker . Laugh its. whispers darth vader. Supreme commander of the imperial forces. Stephen well, my dad is regional manager of raymour flanagans, but you dont see me throwing that around. Right this way. Go on in. Go on in. Good to see you, doikk. Oh, come on youre letting them in . Stephen hes with the band. I hope they play my Favorite Song bopbop, doddelydaaaaahdoo bopbop please, stop thats their only song. Doodoodoo, doodobat go ahead. Look im being chased by stormtroopers and i know the last thing you want to hear is somebody whining about their day, but i have to pick up some power converters. And i havent had a drink in twelve parsecs stephen thats not a unit of time. Youre going to let me in to the cantina, you stuckup, halfwitted, scruffylooking nerf herder stephen whoa look who dropped the nh word. Oh, come on. Ive got to get out of sight. The stormtroopers are going to be here any minute stephen im sorry. Youll just have to try the cantina across the street. All right, fine. I guess ill just go over to the dark side. Stephen okay, good luck. Try the fried porg. Its amazing. Stephen well be right back with mark hamill cheers and applause guess what i just got . Hello again. Hi. Get up to 400 towards a galaxy note8 or s8 with qualifying tradein. Only on samsung. Com wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin band playing cheers and applause stephen hey welcome back to the show, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, i am i am literally giddy my first guest is an iconic actor whose career spans over four decades and is the guest im looking for. Please welcome mark hamill applause stephen look at that you know, its nice to have you here. Oh, my gosh. Im out here promoting a movie were not supposed to talk about. laughter . Stephen we dont have to talk about it, if you dont want. We dont have to talk about it. A lot of people think of you as luke skywalker. But to me you will always be Gordon Miller from room service. You saw that stephen in 1986, you were on broadway it was in the roundabout theater, direct by alan arkin. He had all his second city buddies i idolized for years. I just dont want to start in. They were all fantastic. Stephen i was a senior in college and i had come to new york to actually interview to be an intern on David Lettermans show, and a friend of mine said, i can get us a job as ushers for one night to see this play. And i said, sure, that will be fun. And i walked in, and you were on the stage doing the groucho mark. The critics came in thinking i would play the innocent midwestern playwright golee. I have never been in the city before. And instead was a sleazy Gordon Miller. They were shocked. Plut of plus it didnt look like me. I had pants up to here, a half jar of pomaid and the brilliantine mistash, and people said thats not mark. Thats Gordon Miller. Thats why whati like about character actors. If in voiceovers they cast with the ears and not the eyes and you get a lot of parts you wouldnt get on camera. Stephen many have said of all the jockers, yourself is the greatest of all time. applause . Stephen there was a recent ranking. There was a recent ranking. You come in number one. I have fun. I love the joker because, i mean, to get behind the wheel of that crazy car. I mean, youre not in every episode, but when you show up, you just create chaos, and its a fantastic cast. Kevin conroys been my batman since 92. Were celebrating our 25th year. And you know, i have my batman family, i have my star wars family. I just cant believe how much fun im zg all this. You guys, im telling you, i never expected that wed come back. If they did another trilogy that they would bring back our characters. And it was really intimidating and scary. But im really appreciating it now because in your 20s you sort of take it for granted, and its so much more enjoyable now that im in my early 80s. laughter and thats a tip, by the way if youre going to fudge your age, lie up, because people will say, boy, he really looks good for 83 stephen you do. He really took care of himself. Stephen you really look great for 83. I do. Thank you. Stephen i can be in your star wars family . , of course,. Stephen the 13yearold in me is going insane right now. And please forgive this is 40 years coming this conversation with you, because and ive told people some of this and i dont know if you know this but three weeks before this movie was released anywhere around the country, for whatever reason, my own state of South Carolina was a test market, and i won tickets from wtma and saw it before anybody else. Stephen three weeks before any of my friends and how do you explain that everything is different now. Yeah. Stephen did you guys who were making the film, did you know it was really going to change everything . Oh, of course, not. I thought it was unique in the sense that it had great humor. And it had such as fantastic as all the situations and characters were, it was so relatable. I mean, here we risk our lives to save the princess, the first thing she complains about is, you came in that . Stephen arent you kind of short for a stormtrooper. Exactly. All of that stuff. That was just so relatable and human. And, you know, i knew it wasnt science fiction. I got the part from a screen test. I didnt read the whole script until they said, youre going to be luke. And when i i still remember the chair i was sitting in and where i was when i started reading this thing. I go, oh, my gosh. This is more like wizard of oz with a gender switch, where luke gets swept off into this fantastic adventure. But i couldnt believe my eyes. Because i was a fan as a kid. I read famous monsters magazines and built the monster model kits. I was the biggest enthusiast. I remember i would get really excited and go, harrison were a pez dispenser now. And hes like, whatever floas floets your boat. laughter applause stephen thats just like him. Ive interviewed him. Yeah, you know. Thats the perfect sort of i dont know, we just had a stephen when did you know it was Something Special . Well, listen, it was so interesting, because we went off its three of us i call them carison and harry andy we would get on the plane inge van tiewfer, first. And the movie opened when we were on tour, and by the time we got to, which i looked out the window as we landed and there were mobs of people. Stephen at the airport . At the airport i said, hey, you guys, i think theres somebody famous on the plane. And im looking around fair celebrity. And as we got closer, i went, carrie, theres a little girl out there with your furry headphones. And harrison, theres a guy with your vest. There were kids out there with signs may the force be with you. They were dressed like us. And we were like stephen it was me. laughter cheers and applause it was it was kind of me. I was one of those kids i was one of those kids who, like, at night, when no one was around would do this. Thinking if i could just concentrate enough. I still do it at supermarkets. Stephen really . Yeah, when the doors open. laughter stephen oh really well, you know, its one of those things. I mean, im enjoying like i say, its just so wonderful to be associated with something that makes people so happy. This cop stopped me to say, do you know how fast you were going . Im so scared of the cops you know, like the mirrored glasses in psycho. I said, no, officer. Im always really polite. Im sorry. You try to talk years out. Im going to let you go with a warning. When light cyber do you use in the movie, green or blue. And you see this 40yearold guy turn into an eightyearold right before your pipes what a treat its been. Stephen which color lightsaber. I know you cant tell us anything so tell us everything in the force awakens you show up at the last minute in there. The most elaborate entrance in the history of cinema. laughter . Stephen its a twoandahalfhour forplay. And everybody is talking about me for two hours. Stephen yeah. The sword of skywalker is too powerful. Skywalker must be stopped. Im going, oh, good. Im writing all this stuff down. I remember thinking when i got to the scene i hope everybody has seen it when the light saber jiggles in the forest and flies out of the snow, im like, oh, baby, here i am it goes to rey. I said she didnt gone fn do any training. Whats going on here. Stephen what is going on. She didnt do training. How can she stand up. Fans point out, you quit your training, young man. Dont get so mouthy. There was the original, there was the prequel, and this is the next generation. Luke is no longer the protagonist, its rey, and its not my story anymore. Its just so fun to be invited back to the party, especially when you didnt think it was going to happen. Stephen i know you cant clear much up for us. But can we what can we infer from the photo im about to show . Have you seen this at all. Okay, so, star wars you can sell anything with star wars, including fruits and vegetables. And if you look on this photo of dole products, youve got darth vader on apples, yoda on grapes naturally, green. Youve got r2d2 on a head of cauliflower, and luke is on a bag of iceberg lettuce. laughter does that mean youre going back to the ice planet of hoff . What can we discern from you being on iceberg lettuce . Well, if you go to hamill shamelessly pandering for more follow ears you can see my tweets on that. I said we love star wars fruits and veggiies. But yoda and vader had it much easier because who doesnt like fruits and vegetables. Luke had it harder. Poor r2d2, no matter how adorable he is on that cover, its still cauliflower no kid is going to be fooled by that. They want it to be m ms. Stephen i think this means your character dies and ill tell you why. Because if you eat only iceberg lettuce, you will die of malnutrition. I got a lot of backlash from people who love cauliflower, so, please, no more hate tweets. Stephen there are people who hate tweet over cauliflower . Yes. No, im not kidding. They said, whats your problem . Have you ever had it roasted with garlic . I mean, its only a joke, you know. Dont take me seriously. Im just another crank on twitter. laughter applause cheers listen, if youve played the trickster and the joker, as i have, for so many years, the upside is nobody takes anything you say seriously, and thats a good thing, because its liberating, you know. Youre just youre a jester. Youre there for fun. Im having so much fun, and to me, thats the most important thing, you know. Im in the business of escapism. And everybody wants to go to hogwarts or middle earth, or wherever oz, the land of oz, or to a galaxy far, far away because its therapeutic. Real life is really unpleasant at times. And this is a good way for you to, you know, forget about your problems for two hours. Oh, in this case, this is the longest star wars film. This is two and a half hours, which youll find out in about a week. applause i know, i know. Stephen quick question about escaping. Do you ever wish you could have seen star wars . I know what you mean. Because what happened was when i knew it was george lukas who had done american graffiti and even from that one scene i said, i cant wait to see this. I would have been there first day, first show, regardless of stephen again, little me. Yeah, yeah. Stephen totally changed my what i wanted for my entertainment. So many people come to me and say, i became this or that because of the film. People in the business, lighting people, makeup people. You know, there are certain films that just inspire people in a way that they cant explain. Stephen has the film does done that for you . Well, what i find more inspiring is the reaction of the fans, the people that love it. I mean, i i stipulate that its not for everybody. Not Everybody Loves star wars. But the people who do, i call u. P. F. S ultrapassionate fans. And they love this thing to the point where they relate stories of how it got them through their mothers illness or they met their life online or they it just its become such a fabric of their lives. Its truly moving. I dont see it on a daytoday basis, but when giout in public or to these celebrations and so forth, its just astonishing how passionate they really are. And i dont take it for granted. And, you know, if it werent for the fans, i wouldnt be sitting here talking to Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause stephen thank you. Thank you. Stephen for your movies. Thank you for coming back to do this. Thank you for being here. My pleasure. Stephen mark hamill, everybody. The last jedi is in theaters december 15. Well be right back its red lobsters new ultimate surf turf event. Get ready these 5 pairings are gonna floor ya. Like our new feast with lobsterwrapped scallops and a juicy sirloin, plus a savory lobsterandshrimp smashed potato. 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Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest tonight is one of the most wellknown chefs in america. Bobby flay, everybody i understand you have a new cookbook. Whats the name of this thing . Its called bobby flay fit. Stephen because the recipes are all foods you can fit in your mouth, correct . Exact he right. Stephen why fit . Because as a chef a lot of people ask me, how do you stay in shape when youre around food so much . So i wrote the book. People wanted to know so i wrote it. Stephen youre not going to tell us. You have to bate book. Exactly. Its the Holiday Season stephen fitness and the Holiday Season, thats an oxymoron, they dont go together at all. This is a totally bad idea right now. Stephen are these recipes from the book . Yes, theyre from the book, and we have liquor. Stephen oh, well, thats my diet. laughter should you trust a fit chef . Yes, you should. Stephen come on you have to trust this one. Listen, it takes a lot of work to stay fit. You just have to you have to be thoughtful about what you eat. Stephen okay. The kind of things you eat, the type you eat it. There are a lot of things to think about, but you still get to eat. Stephen when should you eat food . What time . Not at 2 00 in the morning, like i used to do. Stephen okay, all right. That was way more fun, though. Stephen what are we making today. Stephen okay, so lets have some champagne. Stephen oh, sure. Lets have a glass of were going to make a cocktail. Tangerine juice, because citrus is in season, blood orange, pomegranates. Which one would you like, sir . pop applause pomegranate, why not. Ill porit first. And finish it there. Ill take tangerine juice. Stephen is there any difference between a tangerine and orange or is it a fancy orange. Theres definitely a difference. Tangerine is a little more tart. Heres a trick. Okay upon. Dont start drinking yet, sir. Stephen okay. Were going to get pomegranate seeds out. You cut the pomegranate in half, squeeze it, and whack it with the you just whack it with the wooden spoon and the pomegranate seeds come right out and heres your garnish. Stephen and do you recommend spanking your pomegranate . Yes, sir, every single day. Stephen do we have to wait. Happy holiday s. Stephen happy holidays, everybody. Stephen oh, thats really tasty. And thats it. Stephen thats it . Thats the whole book right there. Stephen so what would you would you start off with this . You start off with a cocktail because for the holidays you want everybody in the mood. Stephen this is an aperteef to get everybody ready for the drinking later on . Exactly. We have spiced nuts. Stephen oh bobby flay spiced nuts. Maple syrup. A little bit the brown sugar, and some spices. We just put that in there. And then were going to take we have a exwing of different nuts pecans, almonds,ica shoes. You want to give that a toss. It will hurt you if you get it on you. Stephen dont worry about me. All right stephen i got that. I got that. Mr. Colbert. Stephen come on, feel me do you cook for your family . Do you have to cook for the holidays . When youre the chef of the family, people dont want to know if youre cooking. They want to know what theyre eating. Thats it. Thats the way it works. Stephen that looks flaming hot. I shouldnt eat that . Have some of these. A little spicy, a little sweet. Stephen is it a problem if i have a nut allergy . Nope, youll be totally fine. laughter . Stephen whats this down here . That looks fun. We have pears, and chocolate bark, and we have qui, in oia. You put that on there and everybody is fit. Stephen this is like throwing shards of glass at thize of our audience right now. I hope were insure forward that. All right, so poached, pears. Were insured for, that right . We have poached pears, mulled wine, some alcohol, a couple nuts, go back to some more liquor. We have red wine, cinnamon stick. Some star anis, cloves, all the holiday flavors, and we let the pears poach in that mulled wine and a little bit of sugar and some orange. Heres a really cool idea stephen now poached pears seems leak a very oldfashioned kind of christmas meal, dickensian. Exactly what i was going to say. Stephen like charles dickens, like a christmas carol. What did you think dickensian was. What did you think i meant . Obviously i never used that word before. Stephen you learn something new every day. Its amazing. Heres some coconut milk whoops. Heres some coconut milk, and instead of using whipped cream, well take the top of the coconut milk and whip it. Stephen if youre lactose intolerant you can used the whipped coconut milk. Absolutely, and its so delicious. Well plate this up. Stephen wouldnt you stir that . Because now this is mixed in. Sure, there you go, stir away. Well attack a pear. Stephen one pear. A pear at a time, whipped coconut milk. And, here, youre going to do this. Youre going to just stephen uhhuh. Mr. Colbert . Stephen yup. laughter cheers and applause stephen okay. What is that, bourbon . Thats bourbon. Stephen i can put the bourbon on the nuts . Sure, put some right in. Here you go. Stephen thats nice. Give them a toss, totally fine. And well take some of our those juices just reduce down a little bit, and we put this on there, and you have delicious and very healthful holiday stephen going in. There you go. Stephen oh say it loud, sir say it loud. Stephen damn, girl, thats good. cheers and applause cheers. Stephen bobby flay. Hes fit, the book is fit. Its available now. Give it up for the flay, everybody im not kidding. Give it up for the flay, everybody im not kidding. That is sweet h twinkling lights mixed with the scent of spruce. And now, my chance to relive it all. Magic. We have a fragrance for that. Glade limited edition fragrances. [firewor[ ]xploding] hurry in to old navy get gifting with up to 60 off the entire store. 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Its fine. Hey hi arent you hot . Eczema again . Its fine. I saw something the other day. Eczema exposed. Your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. Maybe you should ask your doctor . Go to eczemaexposed. Com to learn more. You know how you dont talk like this. forces to enunciate slowly play the peter bjorn and john song called young folks on spotify. You talk like this hey google, play that hipster song with whistling. young folks plays its google home mini. Now only 29. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she had to buy lots of groceries. While she was shopping for organic fruits and veggies, burglars broke into her shoe. They stole her kids Mountain Bikes and tablets along with her new juice press. Luckily the Geico Insurance agency had helped her with Homeowners Insurance. She got full replacement on the stolen goods and started a Mountain Bike juice delivery service. Call geico and see how affordable Homeowners Insurance can be. Call geico dog growls named after a star. Crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. Host one to remember. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. Wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target applause . Stephen welcome back to the show, everybody. So, there you have it. There you have it. Weve finished another week of 2017, which i think makes it a million . Anyway, lets take a fond look back at the best of this weeks late show. Well, it feels like christmas is here, courtesy of Robert Mueller coming down the chimney with a sack full of subpoenas. cheers and applause mr. President , i got you an early Christmas Gift, too. I just hope theyre not too big on you. cheers and applause flynn could avoid jail time by participating in covert Law Enforcement activities, such as wearing a wire. Michael flynn, a very good guy, great listener. Sometimes laughter sometimes he asks me to say things two or three times directly into his corsage. Very nice. So thought. Theres so much Sexual Harassment happening over the past couple of centuries laughter just all these brandnew allegations from the beginning of time. I think its actually in the bible. They were like, and on the third day, god was like hey, sugar bleep . Kirsten jillen brand is calling on senator al franken to resign. Up to eight. Nine or 10. 28,. 30. Stephen i do have 31, 32, 33 sold to make room for the gentleman from alabama. cheers and applause we dont want to have a liberal democrat in alabama, believe me. We want strong borders. We want stopping crime. Stephen yes, we want stopping crime. We just not want stopping sexual assault. laughter cheers and applause moore thank you. Thank you. I would also like to say thats not me on the bus. laughter you dont get to say that. Because i was there. And the last 14 months of my life i have been dealing with it, and you dealt with it for 14 minutes and went on to be the president. Stephen okay, all right. Dont give away the ending. laughter it is time to officially recognize jerusalem as the capital of israel. Stephen yes. He recognized it in a speech, but im still pretty sure he couldnt troiz on a map cheers and applause which one is it . Is it the little one . I think that were in a situation where you have a president of the United States who just doesnt believe in the first amendment. He doesnt believe he has like a peanut allergy to facts and ive never seen anything like it. So, literally, if you just say things that are true, he gets mad. Stephen cnn should have a label before every show that says, processed in a factory that also processes information. I adored lady bird. T has everything us artistic types love smoking, drinking, and an actress with an unpronouncable name. I remember a few years ago i was in the airport and being picked up by someone and they have your names on the board and i was scanning through and i thought i cant find my name anywhere. Its as you misspelled and i was looking for this massive typo. And i looked through, and i scanned again, and i saw a board that just said, shelly ronan. And i said, thats me. Shelly it is. I miss going into a room and begging them to hire me. Stephen really . You miss auditions. Because i was a young actor at one point, and auditions are terrible. I love them stephen really . Yes stephen about let me give you a taste. You dont get these anymore . I havent been one to a while, right. Stephen great, thanks, is it susan. Its sarah. Stephen that was great, that was wonderful. Id like to go again. Stephen i think we got it. Id like to go again. Stephen you made some really, so super specific choices. Im not leaving. Stephen really, great . Hold on one second. Security. cheers and applause stephen well be right back, everybody. Its time, america. Theres work to be done. Its not going to be easy. But theres grit inside of you. And if you need extra motivation, the grad fund at Strayer University can help push you forward. Because up to your last year of classes could be on us. Thats right. On. Us. Today is the day. Strayer university. Lets get it. My dbut now, i take used tometamucil every day. Sh it traps and removes the waste that weighs me down, so i feel lighter. Try metamucil, and begin to feel what lighter feels like. Breathe freely fast wmy congestions gone. I can breathe again i can breathe again vicks sinex. Breathe on. Late show. Join me next week when ill be joined by matt damon, tom hanks, and jodi foster. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from michigan, michigan, give it up for your