That all started with a big bang bang a 100 beef burger melted cheddar with crispy hash browns and an egg your way. Now thats a burg explosion you want that to go again sweetie . The thing burger. Welcome to dennys. Fantastic 4, only in theaters. Okay, first order of physics bowl business we need a truly kickass team name. Suggestions . How about the perpetual motion squad . Its beyond the laws of physics, plus a little headsup for the ladies. The ladies . Perpetual motion squad we can go all night. I like it. I dont. Teams are traditionally named after Fierce Creatures thus intimidating ones opponent. Then we could be the bengal tigers. Poor choice. Gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant. Maybe so but you cant incinerate a bengal tiger with a magnifying glass. Lets put it to a vote. All those in favor. Point of order. I move that any vote on team names must be unanimous. No man should be forced to emblazon his chest with a bengal tiger when common sense dictates it should be an army ant. Will the gentleman from the great state of denial yield for a question . I will yield. After we go through the exercise of an annoying series of votes, all of which the gentleman will lose, does he then intend to threaten to quit if he does not get his way . He does. I move we are the army ants. All those in favor . Good afternoon and welcome to todays physics bowl practice round. Im penny, and ill be your host because apparently i didnt have anything else to do on a saturday afternoon, and isnt that just a little sad . Gentlemen, are you ready . Yes. Of course. Fire away. You know, its none of my business but isnt a guy who cant speak in front of women going to hold you back a little . Oh, hell be okay once the women are mixed into the crowd. He only has a problem when theyre oneonone and smell nice. Aw, thanks, raj. Its vanilla oil. I was actually the one who noticed. Okay, lets just start. Okay, the first question is on the topic of optics. What is the shortest light pulse ever produced . buzzer dr. Cooper. And of course the answer is 130 attoseconds. That is correct. I knew that, too. Good for you, sweetie. Okay, next question what is the quantum mechanical effect used to encode data on harddisk drives . buzzer howard . And of course the answer is giant magnetoresistance. Right. Hey, i buzzed in. And i answered. Its called teamwork. Dont you think i should answer the engineering questions . I am an engineer. By that logic i should answer all the anthropology questions because im a mammal. Just ask another one. Okay. What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of einsteins predicted frame dragging . buzzer and of course, its gravity probe b. Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer. Why . Because its polite. What do manners have to do with it . This is war. Were the romans polite when they salted the ground of carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again . Leonard, you said i only had to ask questions. The objective of the competition is to give correct answers. If i know them why shouldnt i give them . Some of us might have the correct answers, too. Oh, please. You dont even have a phd. All right, thats it howard, sit down. Okay. Maybe we should take a little break. Good idea. I need my wrist brace. All this buttonpushing is aggravating my old nintendo injury. I agree. What did he say . He compared sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summers eve. Yeah, and the bag it came in. Leonard, excellent. I want to show you something. Can it wait . I need to talk to you. Just look. Ive designed the perfect uniforms for our team. The colors are based on star trek the original series. The three of you will wear support red, and i will wear command gold. Why do they say aa . Army ants. Isnt that confusing . Aa might mean Something Else to certain people. Why would a physics bowl team be called anodized aluminum . No, i meant. Never mind. Hey, check it out, i got you a batman cookie jar. Oh, neat whats the occasion . Well, youre a friend, and you like batman and cookies, and youre off the team. What . Howard, raj and i just had a team meeting. No, you didnt. Yes, we did. I just came from there. Okay, i dont know where you just came from but it couldnt have have been a team meeting because im on the team and i wasnt there. Ergo, the team did not meet. Okay, let me try it this way i was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends and one thing led to another and it turns out youre off the team. Why . Because youre taking all the fun out of it. Im sorry, is the winner of the physics bowl the team that has the most fun . Okay, let me try it this way youre annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore. I see. Well, at this point i should inform you that i intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears. Thanks for the headsup. Youre welcome. One more thing. Yes . Its on, bitch. At subway, we bring layers of enticingly tender turkey irresistibly crispy bacon, and deliciously rich guacamole together on freshly baked bread for one truly amazing sandwich the new subway turkey bacon guacamole. Only at subway. Southwest is having a sale because when theres a reunion every cent should go to a killer dress. Never gonna get it by en vogue and heels. And a blowout. Mani pedi. Three weeks of tanning. Facial. A backup dress. Bronzer, lip gloss. Book for as low as 73 dollars oneway now at southwest. Com. Closed captioning and other consideration for the Big Bang Theory provided by. Irresistible moments deserve irresistibles treats. New from meow mix with real salmon chicken or tuna. The only treat cats ask for by name. My new summer meals got ten pieces of chicken, a large coleslaw, baked beans with pulled chicken, four biscuits and a free half gallon of dole classic lemonade. You see what im talking about . [laughing] its still Finger Lickin good. So whod he get to be on his team . He wont say. He just smiles and eats macaroons out of his bat jar. Hes using psychological warfare. We must reply in kind. I say we wait until he looks at us then laugh like, yes, you are a smart and strong competitor, but we are also smart and strong and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you. How exactly would that laugh go . highpitched evil laughter that sounds more like, we are a tall thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your dalmatians. Gentlemen. highpitched evil laughter okay, were going to need a strong fourth for our team. You know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played tvs blossom. She got a phd. In neuroscience or something. Raj, were not getting tvs blossom to join our physics bowl team. How about the girl from the wonder years . Gentlemen, i believe ive found the solution to all our problems. We cant ask leslie winkle. Why . Because you slept together and when she was done with you she discarded you like last nights chutney . Yes. Sometimes youve got to take one for the team. Yeah, sack up, dude. Fine. Here i go, taking one for the team. In the sack. Hey, leslie. Hi, guys. So, leslie, i have a question for you and it might be a little awkward, you know, given that i. Hit that thang. Leonard, there is no reason to feel uncomfortable just because weve seen each others faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus. Theres not . Gee, cause it sure sounds like there should be. Rest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences your idiosyncrasies, your performance are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom. Thats all very comforting but if its okay id like to get on to my question now. Proceed. We are entering the physics bowl and we need a fourth for our team. No, thanks. Im really busy with my likesign dilepton supersymmetry search. Dilepton, shmilepton. We need you. Sorry. Well, we tried. Well just have to face sheldon mano y mano y mano a mano. Wait, youre going up against Sheldon Cooper . Yes. That arrogant, misogynistic, east texas doorknob that told me i should abandon my work with highenergy particles for laundry and childbearing . Shes in. Gentlemen. Sheldon. Sheldon. laughs evilly sheldon. Im just gonna sit down. So, is that your team . Actually, i dont need a team. I could easily defeat you singlehandedly, but the rules require four. So, may i introduce the thirdfloor janitor, the lady from the lunch room and my spanish is not good either her son or her butcher. And what about your team . What rat have you recruited to the s. S. Sinking ship . Leslie hello, sheldon. Leslie winkle. Yeah, leslie winkle. The answer to the question who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl . Yes, well, im polymerized tree sap and youre an inorganic adhesive. So whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you. Oh, ouch. Okay, if everyone could please take your seats. Heres your tshirt. Pms . Its a couple days early. No. It stands for perpetual motion squad. Oh, right, of course. What was i thinking . Good afternoon, everyone and welcome to this years physics bowl. Todays preliminary match features two great teams. Aa versus. Pms. All night long, yall okay, well, lets jump right in. First question for ten points what is the isospin singlet partner of the pizero meson . buzzers sound pms . The eta meson. Correct. Formal protest. On what grounds . The velcro on my wrist brace caught on my shirt. Denied. All right, for ten points, what is the lightest element on earth with no stable isotope . Aa . And of course, the answer is technetium. Terrific. applause next question what is the force between two uncharged plates due to quantum vacuum fluctuation . Pms . Sheldon can suck on. The casimir effect. Correct. How does a quantum computer factor large numbers . Pms . Shorts algorithm. Correct 4. 1855 times ten to the seventh ergs per calorie. Prevosts theory of exchanges. Lambda equals one over pi r squared n. Yes, assuming the hypothetical planet has a mass greater than the earth. Host correct. Ladies and gentlemen, i hold in my hand the final question. The score now stands aa 1,150, pms 1,175. So, for 100 points and the match, please turn your attention to the formula on the screens. Solve the equation. Holy crap. What the hell is that . Looks like something they found on the ship at roswell. Come on. Think. Leslie . Leonard, its not gonna work if you rush me. You have to let me get there. You are never going to let that go, are you . Ten seconds. Pms . Sorry, i panicked. Then guess. Um. Eight. 4 im sorry, thats incorrect. Aa if you can answer correctly, the match is yours. He doesnt have it. Hes got squat. Aa, i need your answer. russian accent the answer is minus eight pi alpha. Hang on. Hang on a second. Thats not our answer. What are you doing . Answering question. Winning physics bowl. How do you know anything about physics . Here i am janitor. In former soviet union i am physicist. Leningrad politechnika. Go, polar bears. Well, thats a delightful little story, but our arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything i answer the questions. You didnt answer question. Hey, look, now maybe you have democracy now in your beloved russia but on this physics bowl team, i rule with an iron fist. Ow aa, i need your official answer. Well, its not what he said. Then what is it . I want a different question. You cant have a different question. Formal protest. Denied. Informal protest. Denied. I need your official answer. No. I decline to provide one. Well, thats too bad because the answer your teammate gave was correct. Thats your opinion. All right, the winner of the match is. Hang on. Sheldon, is proving that you are singlehandedly smarter than everyone else so important that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team . I dont understand the question. Go ahead. The winner is pms. We are the champions, my friends and well keep on fighting till the end we are the champions we are the champions no time for losers cause we are the champions of the world. For over 60,000 california foster children, having Necessary School supplies can mean the difference between success and failure. The day i start, im already behind. I never know what im gonna need. New school new classes, new kids. Its hard starting over. 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I know someone who would disagree. Who . My physics bowl trophy. high voice leonard is so smart. Sheldon who . All right, that is very immature. Youre right. Im sorry. high voice im not okay, new contest. Leonard what are you doing . I am settling once and for all who is the smartest around here, okay . Are you ready . Absolutely. Bring it on. Okay. Marsha, jan and cindy were the three daughters in what tv family . The brady bunch. Okay. Sammy hagar replaced David Lee Roth as the lead singer in what group . The brady bunch . Van halen. All right. Madonna was married to this ridgemont high alum. Oh, my god sean penn how do you know these things . I go outside and i talk to people. Okay, here. What actor holds the record for being named people magazines sexiest man alive . William shatner. Wait. I dont think its shatner. Then its got to be patrick stewart. No. Formal protest. All right. Singer who sang oops, i did it again . Okay. Tweetie bird tought he taw a what . Romulan. Yes. 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