Was murdered. Shell tell us what she learned while volunteering in san quentin. First well look at inmates participating in a unique program. One thats helping them tell their stories in their own words. When a person decides to change, they want everyone to know that theyve changed. So its important to get that out. Television portrays prison as this negative place where people are just running around being violent. But san quentin is actually totally opposite from that. These guys are going to college every day. Theyre going to selfhelp groups. Theyre going to religious services. Everyone here is trying to get out of prison, not stay in prison. I got to san quentin in 1984 via l. A. County jail. I was told since 2012 weve been working on a storytelling project and really the overarching idea is to tell the hidden stories of life inside told from the perspective of those who live it. As soon as i got off the bus, i got extra cold because i wasnt wearing underwear. Thats how they transported us back in the day, buck naked with a red jumpsuit. If the bus crashed and you escaped, you would be running around naked. This project was put together by the san quentin Media Production team. Im nervous, thats what this is. We helped the men edit their stories and present them. So i covered myself in in tattoos of hate and violence. It gives guys a little more courage to say, okay, i might be able to do that one day. More than anything, that really scared me. I think it also makes vulnerability look okay. Because if you can be vulnerable in front of this group and tell your story, its another way of breaking down the barrier. I didnt want to disappoint my pops and get kicked out. I took it. At that moment i turned around and walked away and a tear came out of my eye because i felt like what have i gotten myself into. I hate mornings. Theres nothing worse than waking up from your dreams to a cell whose 6x9 confines stretches to the horizon of your future. Its like waking up in a tomb. Its a reminder that to society, your friends, to your high school sweetheart, youre dead. People have their own preconceptions about what people in prison are about. I think these pieces break down the walls. Its more complex than what your prejudices are. We did a skit where i portrayed someone living an alternative lifestyle. Surprisingly enough, i really had the time of my life. I was onstage talking about, uhuh, no you didnt, hold up, hold up, hold up. Now, i am all woman, honey. And still more than a man that you will ever be. Okay . [ laughter ] people in prison are people. There are some very bad people. And there are some people who made some mistakes. But ultimately theyre people. And theyre as complex as you and i and the rest of society is. One thing i am not is some Goodie Goodie who thinks hes great guy for taking all these groups at san quentin. Because when i look at what ive done, which is commit two murders, i know i could never call myself a great guy. Ive taken lives. Ive hurt two families in ways that i can never fix. Ive hurt my family. My community. So calling myself a great guy just isnt possible. People, we work hard to change our lives. We want to be different. We dont want to be that same person that we used to be. They taught me to connect my moms cries to the cries of the victims of my families. Im here to help everybody tell their story. It put me on a path to see these painful truths about myself. But it also showed me that being able to change my life isnt just a mandatory part of my sentence. Its a blessing, which does not make me a great guy. Just the best that i can be. Thank you. [ applause ] and joining me now is someone whose family was shattered by Violent Crime yet has become a vocal supporter of the value of rehabilitation. Dionne wilson is from californians for safety and justice, welcome. Thank you. I was watching you while watching that piece, you were visibly deeply moved. You yourself are a passionate advocate for rehabilitation. How you got there, though, has been an unexpected journey. Your husband was a leandro. Ten one night you got a knock on the door. Yeah, dan was answering routine calls, guys were out in front of an apartment complex. One of them, Irving Ramirez, had a searchable probation because he had been cycling in and out of the system for some time. He had two guns and drugs on him. So instead of running or going back to jail, he decided to shoot my husband. And he shot him seven times. You made a powerful statement to the jury. What did you say about Irving Ramirez . I said he was a monster and that he deserved to die. I wanted him to burn in hell. I was so angry. I was full of rage and vengeance. And i just i didnt know want to i didnt know what to do other than just i just wanted him to suffer as much as i was suffering. And yet you became involved in working with prisoners. Why . After about 4 1 2 years of feeling that way, i became so exhausted, i couldnt do it anymore. It takes a lot of energy to hate like that. And i wore myself out. I couldnt do it anymore. And i needed a different path. And i was a lot of things happened in between, but i was introduced to insight prison project. They invited me to go inside of a prison and share my story with people who had committed murder. And i thought, ooh, this is my chance, im going to tell them, you know, that all of the consequences of their actions. And when i sat there with people who had caused this level of harm, and then told them my story, and they they cried with me, they were you could tell that there was something going on there that was so far beyond what i thought was possible. And i was looking at transformed people and their stories helped heal me. What is the single biggest life lesson which youve learned through your work with inmates . I think the biggest lesson is that people are redeemable, that were not the worst thing weve ever done, that unresolved trauma, trauma that isnt acknowledged in peoples lives from when they were very young has a profound effect on people and causes them to do things they wouldnt otherwise do. And i just believed that barring extreme mental illness, that were all, were all redeemable. And we all deserve that chance to transform our lives and do something better. There is definitely positive value in hearing their stories. What would you say to those who are reluctant to hear their stories, saying these are men who did terrible feelings . I know how you feel, is one of the things i would say. I was there. I didnt want to hear it. I didnt want to hear all the things irving had gone through in his childhood, how that had affected his life, how his mother struggled to dot be the she could for him. I didnt care. I didnt want to hear it. At some point it broke through. And i would just say, think back on your own life and how negative experiences have impacted you, and maybe made you do something that you werent that you didnt really think you were capable of doing. And how that impacts others. And just open up a little bit. Dionne wilson, we certainly are thankful you took the time to be with us today and share with us your story. I really appreciate it, thank you. Lets go for you to a few of the stories these inmates have written and performed from inside san quentin. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is azraal big ass ford. I grew up in Southern California where drugs and crime ruled the day. By the time i was 21, every one of my friends had been to prison already. It wasnt a place where a kid could grow into a good man. I covered myself with thattoos f hate and violence. In the state prison system, my world was validated. I was embraced for hating. I was embraced for being violent. I worked through the world like a dark knight, i let people know, if you mess with me, ill mess you up, because thats how life is in here. Or thats what we tell ourselves. But then i hear about the shakespeare group. San quentin shakespeare, you have to be kidding me. All right, ill check it out. Theyre like, okay, were going to pretend to be nature. Pretend to be a bee. Im 280 pounds, how am i going to be a bee, right . Just pretend. Im like, all right, ill pretend. Now ill be a butterfly. Who, me . Im not a butterfly. But i tried it. I flapped my wings. People are being rabbits and people are being rocks. Here im this butterfly flying around. I start to laugh, its like, okay, this is pretty cool, because when you laugh, you experience something that takes you beyond the negativity. I start to go, and then they give us the play they want to do, and its julius caesar, everybody is like, youll make a great julius caesar. I guess, but i dont think so, because ive never acted before. Heres my resume, ive been a bee and a butterfly, now you want me to be julius caesar. But okay. So i get cast at julius caesar. Mark antony. Caesar, my lord. And there was a guy, his name is lee, they call him maverick. He was playing mark antony, caesars best friend, almost like his brother. Lee maverick is black. Im white. Right . That usually doesnt happen in prison. So now were acting, we have to be best friends, were comrades, were you know, like brothers. So they bring in the costumes. Y i put it on. The tunic is really tight. Everything was for small people. Its riding up. All right, cool. We do the play. The senate kills caesar. Im laying there on the stage dead. Maverick comes up and heaves me on his shoulder, he gets me up there, im playing dead. When he slid me across the stage, that tight tunic pulled up. Now my butt is hanging out. I cant do anything because im supposed to be dead. Acting is an art. You have to be dead when youre do dead. Im over mavericks shoulder. I hear this laughter. Theyre not laughing at me. Theyre laughing at what were sharing with them. Its something people dont expect prisoners to do. It was at that moment that i realized, you know what, the goodness is back, i found it. I found it in myself but also found it in the community at san quentin, with the men who you know, they inspire that in each other. Theyre bent on reaching that goal. They want to be good people again, they want to give back. It was just like, i looked at the people that had acted in the shakespeare with me, i saw their beauty. I saw those roses. So if we would all just take time to nurture that rose within us, we could all be beautiful flowers. Thank you. [ applause ] my name is eric. I got to san quentin in 1984. It was told to me san quentin was one of the most violent prisons in california. All i need to know is safety first, keep me head on a civil, and as soon as i get situated, get a knife. A lot of guys tougher than me didnt make it. A lot of guys weaker than me didnt make it. A lot of guards didnt make it. After running with the fellas for so long, my bad behavior and actions, my nonhumanitarian thoughts, i got lucky. I got transferred. I made my way through the different prisons. Now im back to the 2016, the more rehabilitative san quentin. They have volunteers coming in, teaching nonviolent conflict resolutions. They taught me the word, stop, think, observe, process situations, situations that are already violent, how not to overreact. I love you white people coming in here teaching me this stuff, i love it. Now, in here, we live in a closet. A oneman closet with two men in it. A sink, a toilet. No window. We all get the guys sometimes that dont want to go nowhere, they just want to stay in the cell 24 hours a day. They moved me with this cat, he tell me, let me tell you something about myself. I said go ahead. He said, i dont do selfhelp. I dont go to the yard. I dont work. When i go eat, i come back. When i go to the doctor, i come back. When i go shower, i come back. I said, what about me . Dont i get some me time or something . He said, get it any way you can. Now, the old me, at that precise moment, i would have slapped him, i would have initiated contacted. No matter who he was, who he knew, i would have initiated the getdown. But the new me, the soft eric, i said, do you like football . He said, yeah, i like football too on sundays. But when i watch football, i watch football naked. And when im watching football, i eat nachos, naked. I call it naked nacho sunday. You should have seen his face. He looked at me like, uhoh. At that precise moment, chow time, time to eat. One of my boys was coming down, he said, eric, you moved in with that cat that dont go nowhere. I just looked in there and theres nothing in there but your stuff. I said, i guess he went somewhere. Nonviolent communication. Im so dedicated to nonviolence, the new eric, you got all those websites out there, im going to get me one. Www. Whoknowscrimebetter. Ask the convict eric. Thank you. [ applause ] ill never forget my first morning at san quentin. It was breakfast time, i step into this noisy chow hall. Im wondering, what do all these people have to talk about at 5 00 in the morning . The Correctional Officers says to me, how are you doing this morning . At first i gave him a double take, i think hes messing with me. I just dont have the precedent to process this kind act. In high desert, a maximum security prison where i did most of my time, an officer wouldnt ask me how i was doing. It didnt happen in that environment. Im looking at this guy as ive moving through the chow line. Hes nodding, hes encouraging. I realize, this guy is serious, he really wants to know how im doing. I tell him, im like, im good. You good . Hes nodding his head, thumbs up. Hes smiling. Im smiling. I move ahead in the line, move to the next section of the chow hall. The encounter ends. But the smile continues. This officer probably didnt know it. Because he took the time to connect with my humanity when he didnt have to, i suddenly felt inspired to connect with everyone around me. I asked more people that day how they were doing than i had asked since i had been incarcerated. And i learned something. The power that an individual has to change the world with something as small as how are you doing this morning. See, because his words lifted my mood, and because i was happier throughout the day, i was kinder. So i envisioned this cycle where my kindness makes someone else kinder, which lifts someone else up, until were all smiling on top of the world. Now, i dont want to represent that all Correctional Officers are humanitarians. Because theyre just not. [ laughter ] but i also think its important to note that this wasnt just like a fluke. See, i live in west block on the fourth tier. Every night i hear this officer as hes walking down the tier at last count time. The reason why i hear him is because hes stopping at guys cells, asking them about their day. Hes just doing the things that human beings do when they want each other to know that you matter. And so every night when he comes by my cell, i stop whatever im doing, watching tv, reading a book, im like, good night, brother. He continues with the count, getting ready to go home to his family. Before he leaves he says, good night, brothers, gentlemen, lady, good night. [ applause ] endo yoin ddubitably, man. Im joined now by Troy Williams who was an inmate at san quentin and was paroled in 2014, nice to have you here. Nice to be here. You know every one of those men we just saw. You were there yourself at san quentin. What is it like to watch them tell their stories . My heart goes out. I see a bunch of men who deserve a second chance, who need another second chance. And seeing so much that they can contribute out here. And you spent nearly 20 years of your life in prison. Yes. And youre getting a second chance. You participated in many rehabilitation programs while you were there. Was there a single turning point while you were on the inside . I wouldnt say a single point. I think it was a slow turning for me, being able to watch other men be examples, to see people come in and offer me a new set of tools, and watching certain people in the administration who walk with integrity, i think they were all moments that allowed me to really reflect on my life a lot deeper. What were some of the tools that the rehab programs gave you . One is really just the ability to look back, the ability to reflect on moments of my life, when i didnt make the right decision, having the courage to sit in that moment and look at it, we call it sitting in the fire, sitting in the moment and take a look at how i behaved and what i wanted to do different, and knowing that i could rewrite that. You were paroled about two years ago. What has the transition been like for you to life outside prison . Its beautiful to be home. Im so happy to be here. Its been a roller coaster ride, right . Not every day is, you know, a great day. But my worst day out here beats my best day ever inside. So i have the ability to change, to influence change. Thats what drives me, thats what pulls me every day. What are some of the challenges you face every day . I think just dealing with my own mindset, right . Overcoming the triggers, overcoming things that used to get in the way in the past, right . What would some of those things be . Im the kind of guy who it was very difficult to ask for help, to ask for support. Just having the strength to know that when something is going on with me, not to be the guy who sits up and says, oh, im good, its all good, but i can actually ask for help and know that i have a very strong support system out here. What motivates you to do this work, to tell these stories and to do outreach and to really be in a situation where there is some reconciliation and redemption. I look at all the people that i hurt. Not only just the victims of my crime or the wrongs that ive done, but i look at how i even hurt my own children, how i hurt my own mother, the things that i put them through. And how i wasted my own life. And never wanting to see another kid who at the age of 13, just because hes looking for somebody to love him, he decides to join a gang, right . That motivation, that pulls me every day. I know i cant go back and rewind the clock for me. But i can certainly try to influence want clock for somebody else. What are you up to these days . What are you doing now . I am in juvenile facilities, working with young people. I developed a program theyre utilizing there. I do media work, i continue to produce film and radio. The hope is to stay connected to san quentin and the men inside who want to tell their stories and help the formerly incarcerated to continue to tell theirs. Whats the biggest value for you in making sure their stories are made public . The public gets to see a side of life that they dont get to see. Certain media suggests fear. And thats not who we are. Were people, were human. We go through things for reason. Troy williams, thank you for your insights, thank you for being here today. Thank you. For all of kqeds news coverage, go to kqed. Org. Were going to hear dream of freedom from an inmate who is currently serving 15 years to life. Im thuy vu. Thanks for watching. This song is dedicated to everybody incarcerated now everybody worldwide, they got me dressed in a paper suit, shackled on a gray goose, looking out the window, wishing i could cut these chains california state tampers with the evidence to hang you d. A. s coaching the witnesses, no Johnny Cochran or dream team to save me praying for the man that lost his life in this tragedy praying for my son growing up without his daddy they say god talks in my dreams, im waking up trying to remember what it means i had a dream i could buy my way to freedom i had a dream i could buy my way to freedom robert President Trump ends the year defiant. But challenges loom. Im robert costa. From the russia probe to immigration, the president and Party Leaders prepare for next year, tonight on washington week. President trump we are transferring power from washington, d. C. , and giving it back to you, the people. From this day forward, its going to be only america first. Robert in the months since donald trump was sworn in, he has signed into law sweeping tax cuts, appointed a new justice to the supreme court, rolled back regulations and upended global order. As commanderinchief, hes overseen gains against isis in iraq and syria but with each passing
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