That got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died. The amazing adventures of worm in brain man. Look out, hes got a worming brain. Check out his new campaign announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight. Worm in brain. First, stephen welcomes. Jen psaki and eliana. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert. [cheers and applause] stephen welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Okay, enough chitchat r. F. K. , jr. Says a worm ate part of his brain this explains everything and nothing. Though having a worm in his brain might explain why he says stuff like this. I knew harvey weinstein. O. J. Simpson came to my house. Bill cosby came to my house. Stephen worm came to my brain. Lets dig in, just like that worm did in r. F. K. , jr. s delicious frontal lobe. Today, the New York Times published some newly discovered Health Records for the independent candidate. Turns out, back in 2010, r. F. K. , jr. Went to a doctor because he was experiencing some cognitive symptoms, like memory loss and mental fogginess, as well as a tiny voice in his head going, lets see, what wine pairs best with cerebellum . [laughter] so, bobby junior got a brain scan, which showed an abnormality, that his doctor said was caused by a worm that got into his brain and ate a portion of it and then died. Cause of death starvation. [laughter] but you know whats really suspicious . Right before it died, that worm was vaccinated. Up until then, perfectly healthy, ran marathons. Suddenly dead. You do the math. Heres the thing. The dead worm is still in there medical experts arent sure exactly what kind of parasite it was, but they suspect it was pork tapeworm larva. Which raises the disturbing question how long has r. F. K. , jr. Been porking tapeworms . [laughter] all of this initially came out in a 2012 deposition from Divorce Proceedings where r. F. K. , jr. Was arguing that his earning power had been diminished by his cognitive struggles. A classic Divorce Court argument. Your honor, my client is entitled to cmon brenda, be reasonable, you know a worm ate my brain how about joint custody of the worm . In the deposition, r. F. K. , jr. Revealed i have shortterm memory loss, and i have longerterm memory loss. Adding and i also have shortterm memory loss. [cheers and applause] now, you might be thinking, yes, r. F. K. , jr. Is a tad insane in the membrane, but that cant just be because a worm ate his brain, right . Right. It could also be due to the fact that he was diagnosed with mercury poisoning, likely from ingesting too much fish. Well, of course. Those fish were just jumpin in his mouth, trying to get the worm [applause] now, dont worry, because r. F. K. Says that he has recovered from the memory loss and there are no aftereffects from the parasite. Adding i, human person, r. F. K. , jr. , have never felt better and am definitely not controlled ratatouillestyle by a worm who lives in my skull. Cross my five hearts, hope to die on a sidewalk after a rainstorm. Oh no, a robin [applause] but any r. F. K. , jr. Fans watching, do not despair. Just because he admitted in a sworn deposition that he has parasitic brain damage doesnt mean that hes gonna drop out. Because Bobby Kennedy junior does not know the meaning of the word quit because that information was in the part of the brain the worm ate. [applause] speaking of lightskulled americans, federal judge aileen cannon, seen here as the cover model for dead eye monthly. Yesterday, cannon announced that trumps federal classified documents trial date would be postponed indefinitely, meaning it is unlikely that the classified documents trial will end before the 2024 president ial election. No i was counting on judge aileen cannon to save us from trump thats why i got that big aileen cannon back tattoo to cover up my its mueller time tattoo we have to vote . Again . The trump trial that is happening here in new york was off today, so the bailiff could refill their supply of febreeze. But everyones still talking about yesterdas aggressive crossxamination of Stormy Daniels by trumps defense attorney what was her name again . Susan necklace. Susan necklace. Susan necklace. Stephen are we sure thats her name and not just how trump describes her . Okay, todd glasses does the opening statement, susan necklace does the cross, johnny bowtie brings me my big mac, and uh, oh, judge big black muumuu is mad at me again. Yesterday was primary day in indiana, a fact i totally knew before i read it in the prompter right now. And there was a warning in the results for trump. Cuz despite dropping out of the race two months ago, nikki haley still pulled in nearly 22 of the vote. Thats gotta sting for trump. Thats like your boss telling you sorry, were passing you up for the promotion and giving it to mark, may he rest in peace. Now, indiana is crucial for any republican seeking the white house. In fact, a few years ago, trump said of indiana, its called importantville. Thats why they called the movie importantville jones and the temple of doom. Starring the incredible han solo. His wife was a big furry dog, but boy could she fly that spaceship. Since trumps criminal trial is off today, cnn finally had the bandwidth to cover the secondmost important story in america informational video goes viral ahead of cicada invasion. Makes sense. It is the cicada news network. We all remember those old ads. This is [cicada noises]. Stephen of course, ive seen my fair share of informational cicada videos. Im an adult. So, this one must be pretty special to go viral. Roll it. Where we are, the cicadas are hiding below the soil surface. It is roughly around 64 degrees. They will come out, crawl up trees or other objects like garages and stuff and they will crawl out of their xo skeletal shell, the show they were in. Stephen oh, to be a winged insect on the wall during that production meeting. Okay, we need to film an informational video about cicadas. Im gonna need 4 improv students, some cargo pants, and 3 tabs of acid what . Use footage of actual bugs . Youre a cretin this video was made by famed director the Forest Preserve District of dupage county, illinois. And let me just say, when i was a struggling actor in illinois, i wouldve killed for the part of cicada in larval stage. But just like everything else, the part wouldve gone to steve carell. He just has a certain je ne saiscada. There was also some interesting local political news this week involving new york governor and fourth grader who got lost on the factory field trip and was found 53 years later, kathy hochul. Hochul was speaking at a conference on monday when, unfortunately, she said this right now we have young black kids growing up in the bronx who dont know what the word computer is. They dont know these things. Stephen that was not good. Evidently, kathy hochul thinks the best buys in the bronx have a section labeled wha . Everyone instantly knew this was a bad take, even the sign language interpreter. Take a look at her face. [laughter] but regardless of hochuls terrible gaffe, access to computers is a real issue in america right now, and its something we should all john hey stephen im sorry. Its my writer, john thibodeaux. Whats wrong, john . John im confused, steve whats a computer . Stephen john, theres no way you dont know what a computer is. John theres that word again compoother . Stephen john, i happen to know you have a degree in mechanical engineering. Howd you do that without a computer . John i used a pencil stephen well then, how do you do this job . You wrote the script of this sketch were doing right now you have a computer right there john oh, this thing . This is my tortilla warmer. [laughter and applause] i got this at a place called the apple store, not a single piece of fruit in the whole joint stephen well, john, if you dont mind, im gonna finish doing the tv show. John whats a tv . Stephen john thibodeaux, everybody. Weve got a great show for you tonight, my guest is msnbcs jen psaki. But when we come back, a great idea for the perfect mothers day gift. Announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by. Allstate, you are in hands. Stephen l louis cato and the late show band. Tonight, my guest is going to be from inside with jen psaki on msnbc. We have a podcast here, the late show podshow. We do seven days a week, exclusive material that is not on tv, audience questions, how did we get Stephen Colbert . He is expensive. Check it out. It is made. You have one month to wear capris. Im not saying you should. Im just saying you can. It also means that mothers day is coming up. Its that magical time of year when a tiny waiter drops the worst breakfast youve ever had right on your duvet. But every time mothers day rolls around, so does the impossible question what do you get mom for a gift . Dads are simple. All they need is a wallet made out of old baseballs or a baseball made out of old wallets. And this eternal question is the reason why, every year, theres a spike in gift guides for moms who are hard to shop for, moms who say they dont want anything, and the mom who pretends she doesnt want anything. Really . We all know the only thing moms pretend they dont want is paul rudd. Oh, you want to see ghostbusters frozen empire for the story . Youre not fooling anyone, evie but you dont need to read through any of those gift guides, because we here at the late show have found the perfect gift for any and all of the moms in your life. There is no one like moms. They lift us up. It is time to go. Have you seen my keys, my work bag, my shoes, my wallet . This mothers day, instead of the same present, treat your mom to the gift she wants. 24 hours alone at the bottom of a well. It includes everything a busy mom could want. Silence, quiet, lack of sound. All natural darkness from our technology. Plus, a complete mothers day brunch. Activities, fantasizing about leaving it all to backpack through france. Remember andre . Do you think he remembers you . Or even just using the bathroom in peace. I dont mean to bug you, but your mother is here for dinner. Everyone will be saying mom, are you okay . I am more than okay. I am well. Stephen we will be right back with jen psaki. oldest girl someday, ill be the first female president. Of the universe. middle boy someday, im gonna marry my baseball glove. Probably in vegas. youngest girl someday, ill help all balloon animals roam free. vo there are a lot of miles between today and someday. 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So the five blades can get virtually every hair in one stroke. For the ultimate gillette shaving experience. The best a man can get is gillettelabs. Stephen welcome back. My guest tonight is the former press secretary for President Biden, former Communications Director for president obama, and current host of inside with jen psaki on msnbc. Shes just written her first book, say more. Please welcome back to the late show, jen psaki. [applause] hello. Nice to have you back. It is great to be here. Stephen you look like a hip angel. I love the outfit. The new book is seymore. In march, you celebrated your first year as host of inside with jen psaki. How do you perceive your job . They are different jobs in the news industry. All of the above. What my job is is to inform the public. I dont know how you can define that. I consider myself at times a journalist, and anchorbecause i am behind a desk, but hosting a show is a privilege and an opportunity to provide people with information and contacts and hel them understand things. Stephen and jokes about the worm in rfk jr. s brain. How much of a president s brain can be eaten by a worm before it impacts their ability . Hopefully that is not something we are dealing with as a country. I cannot speak to that from experience. Stephen how has it been having to balance your own vo voice, what you want to have happen with the job of informing the public. There has to be attention there. Right now, and i watch your show. I watch your monologue last night. What we are looking at are significant stakes for the country about the future of our democracy. I dont think anybody should be hiding from that or talking around that. I dont try to be anything other than who i am or present what my point of view is in an informed way. I do it with facts. I worked for President Biden. Bringing to the show and the country my experience of how he thinks about things, what he cares about and doesnt care about is informing them. Stephen i watch your show and enjoy it. As we get closer to the election, that tension is going to be greater for you to stay objective, even if you believe in the objectives of the president of the United States. I dont think my views of donald trump are a secret. I dont think yours are, either. Stephen i am not a journalist. I am a professional clown. You are informing the public. Stephen i am not doing my job well. People who are watching my show, do people come away with a better understanding of a person . Maybe it is joe biden, someone running for office, and or an issue. Is there an issue misconstrued that i can help explain . I dont try to make it a secret. I worked for joe biden and barack obama. I have worked on three president ial campaigns. I can bring insight to how these things work and what is at stake in this election. Stephen is there something you could inform the audience about that the Biden Administration is not doing well right now . Something they would not mind hearing from you. How about outreach to his young people now. Voters are turned off to President Biden, especially in light of his continued support of netanyahu with the tragedy going on in gaza right now. I havent been in there in two years but i have worked in diplomacy, work for the former secretary of state. There is some leverage we are seeing being used. Should it have been used ear earlier . Yes. They are pulling back on the sending of weapons and that is a significant sign given that they have a longstanding connection on military support. Stephen has the United States done that before . Not many times. It is a significant step. Prime minister netanyahu is someone who joe biden has had a challenging relationship with for some time. People dont always see that. To go back to your original question about what they could be doing differently, it is difficult to explain the nature of diplomacy. It is hard to talk about what is happening because sometimes if you do, you were when the diplomatic talks. Outreach and connection and listening to young people and hearing from them is an important part of that. He is going to talk to morehouse university, he is going to do the commencement address. That is a good step. They could be doing more of that. Stephen we have to take a quick break. Well be right back with more jen psaki. new herbal essences is packed with naturally derived plant based ingredients your hair will love and none of the stuff it wont. Our sulfate free collections smell incredible and leave your hair touchably soft and smooth. New herbal essences. Thank you agent state farm. Like a good neighbaaa, state farm is there. Cut its neighbor. thats what i said, neighbaaa. 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With new pronamel repair mouthwash you can enhance that repair beyond brushing. They work great together. Im gonna hold you forever. Ill be there. You dont. You dont have to worry. Feeling sluggish or weighed down . You dont. Could be a sign that your digestive system isnt at its best. But a little metamucil everyday can help. Metamucils psyllium fiber gels to trap and remove the waste that weighs you down. So you can lighten every day the metamucil way. Stephen were back with the author of say more, jen psaki. The book say more is available lets talk about the unfolding election interference case. It is falsifying Business Records case. What is the most important thing for you to be reporting on so the audience can understand what the stakes of the case are . This is a case where the former president tried to withhold information from the American Public that would have been damaging to his candidacy. He did that through a coordinated effort with the national enquirer. That is not something you are supposed to do. Doesnt it seem like they put out false stories about his opponents . Would it be enough to derail any other normal candidate . It feels like it should be. Stephen that is up there with warm eight part of my br brain. That is up there. It bends the mind that this election is so close. Having watched and consumed a lot of information, Stormy Daniels is a former adult film star, there is lots of salacious myths about what she talked about, but here is a detail i keep thinking about. She is a woman the former president had with who said she blacked out and her hands were shaking so much she barely knew what to do. There is a character or aspect here. I am not talking about the legal case. That tells you about the character. That is something the public can make their own decisions but it is important for people to understand the details of what we are learning about who he is as a person. Stephen just a plain scandal would derail gary hart should have this type of luck. Remember the tan suit with barack obama . Stephen that was a sca scandal. We also heard from the Communications Director, what was she . Who picks. I dont know what her title was. What was that handoff like . We were in a shellshocked place then. President obama said the bush team welcomed us with grace. They gave us books and briefing books and helped us through the transition and we were expected to do the same. You want the country to succeed and there is a history for good reason about the transition of power. We had all of these binders. We were so nerdy about the things we wanted to prepare them with. We sat down. She was probably a little shellshocked but one of the Big Questions she asked was how do you get president obama to approve every statement. We said we dont. You dont get the president to improve it. You just break the statement. If it is controversial or you want to get his brainpower on it, you talk to him about it. She said mr. Trump wants to approve everything. I didnt think it was going to the basis of a testimony during a criminal trial. What it told me at the time and when i was watching friday, if he cares about small details, he cares about the big details, like how much you are reimbursing your former lawyer. There is no way he doesnt care about the details. Stephen he is signing the check on the resolute details. Think about all the things that have happened in that oval office. George bush gave a speech to the country on the night of 9 11. You can hate him or not or whatever. There were moments of every president in that room. Stephen memo line, sex with porn star. Trump is on trial and that is taking his time and President Biden is on the trail right now. How hard is it for President Biden to get attention, even though he is the only one campaigning now because all of the oxygen is being sucked up in that courtroom. Biden talked about something. Infrastructure. Stephen i heard that happens and i could not tell you where. And i care and not everybody does. How can he get the attention . It is about six states, may be seven. No pressure, wisconsin, georgia, nevada, arizona. That is where it is going to be won or lost. Wisconsin is a state that the margin of victory was less than 1 in the last two president ial elections. If he can get on the front page of the milwaukee journal sentinel, that is a big win. You are almost there. But it is a unique challenge for them. The criminal trials, we struggle with this. We struggle with how much you should cover these trials, how much we should talk about these trials. Stephen i dont have a choice. We dont decide the news. We are a shadow of the news. We talk about what people were talking about today. If you talk about it, we are going to talk about it, so it is really your fault if i am going to talk about it. That was a bit of a round about. Sometimes i am tired of talking about it because i am a human being. I am tired of talking about the trump trials but it is important for people to hear about it and be informed. The stakes are that vital. There has never been a former president facing criminal trial in a court room. We have to talk about it. Stephen hang out right there. Dont go away. We will be back with more jen psaki. When you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion upset stomach, diarrhea pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief when you need it most. Zyrtec allergy relief works fast and lasts a full 24 hours so dave can be the. Deliverer of dance. Ok, dave lets be more than our allergies. Zeize the day with zyrtec. Detect this living with hiv, craig learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. 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Ask your doctor about dovato. Is you with me now . Then biggiebiggiebounce i know you dig the way i swswswitch my style holla people sing around now people gather round now people jump around go, get ur freak on go, get ur freak on go, get ur freak on ok, someone just did laundry. No, i add downy light so the freshness really lasts. Yeah, most scented stuff gives me a headache, but this is just right. And i dont like anything. But i like this. Get a light scent that lasts with no heavy perfumes or dyes. [ em beiholds good day begins ] with meet the newfumes target circle, the easiest way to get more target. That means automatic deals when you join for free. Thats the new target circle. gasp more cookies yeah [ good day ends ] that grimy film on your teeth . Dr. G . its actually the buildup of plaque bacteria which can cause cavities. Most toothpastes quit working in minutes. But crest prohealths antibacterial fluoride protects all day. It stops cavities before they start. Crest. you made a cow actually its a piggy bank. My inspiration to start saving. How about a more solid way to save . Im listening. Well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward every month you save. Both cash reward . And theres a cash bonus when you open a new Checking Account to get you started. Wow. Anything you cant do . mugs. Bmo stephen we are back with the author of the new book, say more, jen psaki. It is sort of a memoir but also stories and advice in here. Why not a memoir . Why give advice . I am so young. I have a lot of time left. In all seriousness, i thought a lot about things i wish i would have known when i was in my 20s, graduating from college, starting my career. A lot of that, i talk about moments i was there for her history, mistakes i made. I wish i had done something differently, times i was under attack from bullies, not just fox news, also the kremlin. Back in 2014, when the russians invaded ukraine the first time around, shall we say, i was with the state department, the spokesperson, and i was in the face the administration. Making clear to russia this was illegal. The kremlin started doing their state run media, they did a nightly show about me, made up verbs, psaking, making up news that wasnt true. I have experienced that. If anyone wonders how it feels to be the victim of russian propaganda, not good. Stephen i am not allowed to go to russia. You said mistakes you made early on. Anything particularly memorable . I have a few. I dont know if anything has put something in email they didnt want to put in email and then it is exposed. When youre in the government, your emails are subject to the freedom of information act. If you email between the white house and treasury department, there was a time we hired in 2009, a person overseeing the money that ceos would get. He was ken feinberg. It was a controversial hiring. Part of the bank bailout. There was criticism, go figure. We did interviews. Fox news was displeased that there was accountability. Someone who was going to do accountability for the business industy. After a long day i sent an email that said i just watched bret beyers piece but he is a lunatic and i said i am going to put a dead fish in the fox news cubbyhole. A year later of those came out. They dont translate well when they come out in public. What i learned from this, the dead fish was based on a running joke in the white house. What i learned from this is, what would my mother think . What would she think when she sees these emails. She is not going to be happy with me. I sent him an email. I did not know him. I said i dont know you but you may not believe this, this is not how i behave. I just wanted to apologize. He could have replied and said screw you or thank you. He did not. He invited me to lunch. We had lunch and talked about our families. I disagree with him plenty of times, with fox news, but that was handled with grace and it reminded me that when people make mistakes, that is what you should do. Handle them with grace. [applause] stephen thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Stephen the book say more is available now. Jen psaki, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by elyanna. Stephen making her medley debut making her television debut. [applause] im callin you with all my goal my very soul aint falling through in need of you to trust in my faith, my tears and my ways is drownin so i cannot always show it but dont doubt my love [translated from arabic] im callin you with all my goal my very soul aint falling through in need of you to trust in my faith, my tears and my ways is drownin so i cannot always show it but dont doubt my love i dont need nobody i dont fear nobody i dont call nobody but you my one and only [translated from arabic] my love, i miss you my eyes always call you even if im surrounded by the entire universe ill still need you, my love im callin you with all my goals my very soul aint falling through in need of you to trust in my faith, my tears and my ways is drownin so i cannot always show it but dont doubt my love [translated from arabic] i am yours and you are mine i dont want anything expensive from you, my bag is a gift from okhtein so tell me where is this even going . My styling is insane and requires a lot of money all the girls wear elyanna hoops if you want to please me, put in some effort can you the love in my eyes shine for you . How i loved you how i understood you i dont want anyone else you are mine and i am yours cut a take, i dont want a break mama, what, mama, mama, what, mama, mama what do i do, mama what mama, mama, mama mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, oh. Why does luck come and go . It wraps around me, come to me, and then goes your standing beside me is the best thing in existence a lot of the times we had to go low, to be able to reach the stars my styling is insane and requires a lot of money all the girls wear elyanna hoops if you want to please me, put in some effort can you the love in my eyes shine for you . How i loved you how i understood you i dont want anyone else you are mine and i am yours cut a take, i dont want a break mama, what, mama, mama, what, mama, mama what do i do, mama what mama, mama, mama mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, oh mama, what, mama, mama, what, mama, mama what do i do, mama what mama, mama, mama mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, oh [cheers and applause] stephen her debut album is out now. That is it for the late show. Stick around for taylor tomlinson. Good night