Mom dad kristi kabluey announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. In the doghouse plus, stephen welcomes jean smart and gayle rankin featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen thanks. Please have a seat come everybody. Youre very kind. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheering] we are just what are we now . Approximately six months away from the 2024 president ial election, which, if the campaign so far is any indication, is roughly three years from now. But before the general election officially kicks in, of course, trump needs to pick a running mate. Because his last one, for some reason, just didnt hang in there. One person who clearly wants this gig desperately is south dakota governor and woman who told her hair stylist, give me the whole cast of friends, kristi noem. Now, heres the thing about noem. Noem revealed something, uh, fascinating in her soontobereleased memoir. And warning if you like puppies, youre not gonna like kristi noem. Because in her new book, noem admitted to killing her dog. Now, i know that sounds terrible. [booing] look, i know it sounds terrible. But its much worse. cause this wasnt some rabid 90pound hellhound on a meth bender. It was a 14monthold wirehaired pointer named cricket. Yes, a puppy named cricket. Reminds me of stephen kings first draft of cujo, snuggles. And it is worth pointing out no one made noem confess to puppysnuffing. She volunteered this information, even saying i guess if i were a better politician, i wouldnt tell the story here. Oh, i dont know. I remember William Henry harrisons famed slogan, tippicanoe and i beat a raccoon to death with my bare hands. So why, why did cricket need to kick it . According to noem, the problem was that cricket was untrainable. Well, yeah. She was 14 months old i can only imagine kristi noem with the dog trainer. Uh, so, governor, weve evaluated cricket, and i think we should kill her . No, i was thinking a special collar that would kill her slowly . Heres what happened, according to noem, again, in a story that no one asked her to tell us, she claims that she brought cricket on a pheasant hunt, but cricket ruined the hunt, going out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life. But who among us hasnt seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought you deserve to die . [laughter] stay hydrated cause theres a lot of these jokes coming. Cricket made the fatal mistake of continuing to be a normal puppy on the way home, when, according to noem, they stopped at a local familys farm, where cricket attacked the familys chickens. Governor noem, if you dont like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, i have bad news about your partys nominee. [cheering] but noem had noem choice. Because if theres one thing no one should ever have to witness, its the loss of mans best friend, a chicken. Becaue when you have a dead chicken, what can you possibly do . Rub it with olive oil . Maybe a sprig of thyme, some lemon, salt, pepper, herbs de provence . Lightly cover in foil and roast for an hour at 425 . What . After cricket killed the chickens, noem writes, and i swear this is all from her book, cricket was the picture of pure joy, adding, i hated that dog. Okay, this book is starting to sound less like a political memoir and more like the scrawled manifesto of a guy whose neighbors said he just kinda kept to himself, you know . Something about that happy puppy clearly pushed noem over the edge. She writes, at that moment, i realized i had to put her down. So, she got her gun and led cricket to a gravel pit. No bad psycho governor no sit down bad stay. Stay away from dogs [applause] by the way, the actual title of noems book where she tells this story is no going back. Better than her first drafts, old yeller 2 he had it comin and all dogs go to gravel pit. But it did not stop there. Because shooting the dog just reminded noem that she had other animals that were shootable. According to her book, her family also owned a male goat, and noem decided to kill the goat the same way she had just killed cricket the dog. Oh, my god what kind of reverse john wick farm is she running out there . So why did she decide to kill a second innocent animal . Noem writes that the goat was nasty and mean, and smelled disgusting, musky, and rancid. So. A goat. Thats what theyre like. Theres a reason no one ever comes up to you and goes [sniffing] mmm, you smell like a goat so just to recap. Lets make sure i got this right. She killed a puppy for being happy and a goat for smelling bad. Shes just killing animals for being animals that rooster just crowed at dawn. That cat is licking its own butthole. You know what . That elephant never forgets. Hes gonna testify to the cops about how i killed these other animals. Now, noem took this goat and, you guessed it, dragged him to a gravel pit. But thats where the dead dog is we actually have footage of the goats reaction on seeing the gravel pit. [braying] so, then she shot the goat in the pit. And i dont want to get into semantics, but if theres two dead animals in there, its no longer a gravel pit. Its a dead animal pit, featuring gravel. But governor noem says that, sad or not, this is all just part of farm life that any child can learn about from the classic see n say. The cow says please i have a family im beggin you my uncle has money Stephen Donald trumps hush money trial took a break today to observe passover, but a lot happened while we were on break last week. Specifically, there were unconfirmed allegations that donald trump was actually farting in the courtroom, and he was doing so while falling asleep. Thats right. Farting while falling asleep, or, as i call it, multitasking. No, i do it a lot. Im a great multitasker. Im a great multitasker. Sometimes, when i cough, i pee a little, and when i burp, i puke just a bit. Sorry, ladies. Im married. Not that its ever mattered. Inside the courtroom, trumps lawyers argued that the former president didnt pay off Stormy Daniels to help his election campaign, which would be illegal. He was merely fighting back to protect his family. The prosecution rebutted this claim with their ke witness. Former National Enquirer publisher and divorced pringles man, david pecker. Pecker testified about how he used the National Enquirer to buy and then never publish unflattering stories about trump, a practice known as catch and kill. Which is also another early title of kristi noems book. [applause] pecker specifically testified that, when it came to the payments, trumps family was never mentioned. Instead, he explicitly and repeatedly said that he had been trying to help trumps election chances, acting as trumps eyes and ears. I gotta say, if youre gonna act as any of trumps body parts, eyes and ears are probably the safest choice. Pecker explained after catching and killing a story about trump having sex with playboy playmate karen mcdougal, peckers lawyers warned him that it was potentially a crime and that pecker may have already broken Campaign Finance law by paying mcdougal. Which of course asks the eternal question if publisher pecker payed a playboy playmate, how many playboy playmates did publisher pecker pay . I dont think i got that right. Playboy . So when it came time to pay off Stormy Daniels, pecker told trumps lawyer Michael Cohen, i am not purchasing this story. I am not going to be involved with a porn star. So instead, Michael Cohen paid 130,000 in hush money to Stormy Daniels himself, and trump later repaid him with a series of checks. Of course paying off a porn star in installments is technically called the getting laidaway plan. [cheering] if you only knew. If you only knew what we just went through to get to that joke. Beautiful people. But covering up for trumps affairs was just the tip of the pecker. He used the National Enquirer to go after Trumps Campaign rivals with headlines like its over for pervy ted. Cruzs five secret mistresses that is shocking. Also, completely unbelievable. If youre going to make up lies, about ted cruz, keep them realistic, like, ted cruz caught dumpster diving for new beard. We got a great show for you tonight my guests are jean smart and cabaret star gayle rankin. But when we come back, science [cheers and applause] announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by target. Meet the new target circle, the best way to get more target. im getting vaccinated with pfizers Pneumococcal Pneumonia vaccine. So am i. Because im at risk for Pneumococcal Pneumonia. Come on. I already got a pneumonia vaccine, but im asking about the added protection of prevnar 20®. If youre 19 or older with certain chronic conditions like asthma, diabetes, copd, or heart disease, or are 65 or older, you are at increased risk for Pneumococcal Pneumonia. Prevnar 20® is approved in adults to help prevent infections from 20 strains of the bacteria that cause Pneumococcal Pneumonia. In just one dose. Dont get prevnar 20® if youve had a severe allergic reaction to the vaccine or its ingredients. Adults with weakened immune systems may have a lower response to the vaccine. The most common side effects were pain and swelling at the injection site, muscle pain, fatigue, headache, and joint pain. I want to be able to keep my plans. I dont want to risk ending up in the hospital with Pneumococcal Pneumonia. Thats why i chose prevnar 20®. Ask your doctor or pharmacist about the Pfizer Vaccine for Pneumococcal Pneumonia. Stephen louis cato and the late show bands, everybody, right there. Right there. Now, folks, science. Science, folks. Now that thats out of the way, its time for my sciencebased science segment. The sound of science hello, science my old friend [cheers and applause] stephen it brings hope to a worry world is what it does. First up, scientists recently employed tiny treadmills to show how fruit flies walk. And also how, like humans, they eventually just use the treadmill to hang their laundry. Next up, new studies found that patients with female doctors have a lower risk of death and hospital readmission rates. To which your angriest uncle replied, i need a mandoctor who i can have a beer with before he completely misdiagnoses my myocardial infarc. [applause] next up, the moon brought a wild but precarious fish orgy to californias beaches. Okay, are we just taking headlines straight from bjork lyrics now . The moon brought a wild and precarious fish orgy to californias beaches. They whisper their secrets [whispers] ahhhhhh ahhh [laughter] i love her. Its all part of a unique mating ritual called the grunion run. Ive had the grunion runs. It is not pleasant. Next up, some bumblebees can survive underwater for up to a week, a new study has shown. Reached for comment, the bumblebees said, oh, you ran on tiny treadmills . Thats cute. For a week they tried to drown me. According to one of the studys authors, the result was surprising because, quote these are terrestrial organisms. Theyre not really designed to be underwater. Thank you. Not sure we needed science to point that out. Looking forward to the next research paper, huh, i guess koalas arent3 supposed to go in the freezer. Ahhh nex up, in sketchy medical diagnosis news, an app that claims to detect stds with photos accidentally diagnosed a penis cake. Without a doubt, the most upsetting episode of is it cake . This is a little offtopic. This is a little offtopic. But tat is not a penis cake. If you see on the side right here, that is a stick. Technically thats a penis fritter. The app is called calmara and heres how it works. First, a user concerned about their partners Sexual Health status just snaps a photo of the partners penis and uploads it to calmara. Im sure that really sets the mood. You know you light a scented candle, dim the lights, and then your junk is photographed by someone you met at a bar two hours ago and uploaded to an app youve never heard of. Diagnosis. Diagnosis. Your penis has the grunion runs. Just keep going. That is not worth going back for. Once uploaded, in seconds, the site scans the image and returns one of two messages clear no visible signs of stis spotted for now. Or hold we spotted something sus. Sus . Well, at least the app uses standard medical terminology. Uh, yo dawg, your Blood Pressure is totally goated. 210 over 123 . Holla now, notevenalittle shockingly, privacy and Public Health experts have pointed with alarm to a number of significant oversights in calmaras design. Yes, this is way beyond hackers getting your Social Security number. Uh, mr. Wilson, yes. This is chase bank. Did your testicles recently open up a credit card at Williams Sonoma . cause they just bought ten stand mixers and a 1,000 bucks worth of peppermint bark. Merry christmas. Next up, for the first time in nearly a century, physicists have identified a brandnew type of magnetic material called altermagnets, adding that they are already here with us. They were just hidden to us. Thats a little ominous. The altermagnets have always been here. Hidden, watching. And they are displeased. Evidently, materials get their magnetism from their atoms. The atoms have spin, a quantum mechanical property bestowed by the atoms electrons. In altermagnets, the atoms spins alternate. But not only are the spins of neighboring atoms opposite, but the atoms are also rotated. Thats a little hard to follow. Thankfully, the researchers have also announced the discovery in laymans terms. Water, fire, air and dirt [bleep] magnets how do they work . Until next time, this has been. The sound of science well be right back with jean smart. Im a bird stuck in larry birds attic. And im goin cuckoo. What the heck. What you got larry . May the best bird win. Brick. You may be a legend on the court but youre an amateur up here. Heads up lar. So get allstate. Save money and be protected from mayhem. Like me. Now youre the bird stuck in the attic. [ ] how you feel can be affected by the bacteria in your gut. Try new align probiotic bloating relief plus food digestion. 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Okay, youre insane. Look at this. I am. Thats the problem. Its gorgeous. The crinoline detailing alone. I dont know what to tell you. Its fugly ass. Its giving big bird. You know nothing about fashion. You can wear whatever you want. I can and i will. Everybody loves this dress. Damien, marcus, my stylist. Everyone on your payroll. Okay. All right. Im going to prove you wrong. Hi. Can you please send up a bellhop . A gay one. My god. Stephen please welcome jean smart hello, jean. [cheers and applause] its so lovely to have you on. Jean thank you. Stephen i have been a longtime fan. Jean thank you. Right back at you. To be only try to do this before but i got over that one point. We had to postpone. Very excited for hacks season three. May 2nd. You have a storied career, broadway, five emmys. I understand that you started off in more humble, homey conditions as an actress. Jean i was always the family ham. My older sister was an organizer. We would put on plays in the neighbors garage. Who would sell popcorn and sell tickets. Stephen in the neighbors garage . Jean the nextdoor neighbor garage. Stephen why there is not yours . Jean their house was bigger. Stephen did you charge for the popcorn . Did you charge for the tickets . Jean yes. We are scottish. Stephen how much would you charge . Jean 0. 25 or something. My sister was in charge. Stephen would you do originals . Or classics . Jean [laughs] streetcar. 12 angry men. Stephen your onewoman show of 12 angry men. Jean there was something, a weird one act about cinderella or something. Stephen who was the audience . Neighborhood kids or parents . Jean and parents. It was great. This was before cell phones and game boys. We would put on parades. I was a bride in one parade. My sister. I had a veil. I was pulled in a way again. Stephen so instead of santa claus at the end of the parade, the bride. Jean i wanted to marry bobby sawyer but he wanted to be the master. So i married billy ferguson. Stephen where those guys . Jean seattle. Stephen is that where you grew up . Seattle . I do know that. This season, your character Deborah Vance is vying for possibly getting a position as a host of a latenight show. Do i have that correct . Jean yours, actually. Stephen my show . [laughter] i could use a break. Did you do any ride along . What have you learned about the gig doing this part . Jean no, i havent done any ride longs but i love watching latenight shows. Guests. Pretty always expect guests. A mug or a good story, some something. Stephen if the guests bring their own mug, im pretty insulted. Jean i actually have brought you a treat. Spoon you brought me something . Very few people bring me presents. Jean its not a treat treat. Its not edible. Im going to for the First Time Ever do impressions on National Television on your show. [cheers and applause] stephen its always nice, its always nice when the guest has a bit. Impression is a bit. I do know you did impressions. Jean can you say you do impressions if you only do two . Stephen yes, impressions, plural. Jean isnt it like saying that youre a cook annually make spaghetti and toast or something . Stephen depends on how good the spaghetti is. Jean i do dame maggie smith. And woody woodpecker. [laughter] i have a wide array. [laughter] stephen you run the gamut. Which one do you want to do first . Jean oh, god, why did i say this . Dame maggie smith from downton abbey. Stephen okay. Jean oh, god. Im going to blow this. [british accent] ive never insulted anyone. Ive merely described them accurately. [cheering] stephen and now, bring it home with woody woodpecker. Jean i do this sometimes on the set. Ive done it on the set to wake everybody up like it when i am or something. Stphen everyone is trying to get the lighting right. Jean [raucous cackling] [cheers and applause] that one was not good. Ive had better ones. Stephen that is half funny and half terrifying. Thats what you dont want to hear from the dark figure rushed over your bed in the middle of the night. We have to take a quick break. Dont go away. Well be right back with more jean smart, everybody. Stick around. Feeling sluggish or weighed down . Could be a sign that your digestive system isnt at its best. But a little metamucil everyday can help. Metamucils psyllium fiber gels to trap and remove the waste that weighs you down and also helps lower cholesterol and slows sugar absorption to promote healthy blood sugar levels. So you can feel lighter and more energetic. Lighten everyday the metamucil way. Feel less sluggish weighed down after just 14 days. Sign up for the 2 week challenge at metamucil. Com oh, why leaffilter . Its well designed, efficient, i appreciate that. Leaffilters Technology Keeps debris out of your gutters for good, guaranteed. What more could you ask for . Call 833. Leaf. Filter today, or visit leaffilter. Com. Hi, im david, and i lost 92 pounds on golo. Ci noticed within a weekay, that the release supplement really knocked out my sugar cravings. I didnt feel the need to go to the store for candy, or go through the drivethru after work. I feel so much better these days, and i have golo to thank for that. [son] mom yeah. [son] i fell. Okay theres bandages in the cabinet. [son] im bleeding. Grab two. Sheba. What cats want. That grimy film on your teeth . Dr. G . its actually the buildup of plaque bacteria which can cause cavities. Most toothpastes quit working in minutes. But crest prohealths antibacterial fluoride protects all day. It stops cavities before they start. Crest. Stephen hey, look at this. We are back with the star of hacks. Its jean smart, everybody. Now, now then. Your costar in hacks is the lovely and talented hannah einbinder. She made her latenight debut on the stage. Jean that was the first time i ever saw her. The night before i was going to meet her and audition with her, i googled her and saw her on your show. I said, this is the girl. Shes got to be the one. Stephen she was on my show and you saw her. Dont you think we should get a little a little something. Jean my scottish grandmother. 5 each . 5105. Stephen daddy should get his beak wet, thats all im saying. Thats a scottish phrase, isnt it . You guys, youre always slinging insults at each other. Do you enjoy the playful confrontation between the characters . Jean i do. We do it offstage too. Im always texting her rude, awful things. Stephen and h. R. Knows nothing about this. Jean abusing her as a part of the fun of the job. Stephen its back story. I understand you had to get physical with her at one point. Jean oh, yeah, that was hard. It was season one. Now it would be easy. I had to slap her. I had to slap her hard and ive never slapped anybody in the face. So that was really upsetting. She is so dear. Of course i only made it worse by having to slap her 27 times the things i couldnt get it right. Stephen you are holding back. She had tears in her eyes. She is finally going jean, just hit me. Bam. Stephen more practice . Jean can i hit you . No im not going to hate you. Stephen what . Okay. Jean seriously. [cheers and applause] i cant hate you. Stephen you know this one, you hit here . Jean i have nails. Stephen oh jean is this mine or yours . Still mine is over here. Mine is hot. Did you ever do stand up . Jean no, too scary. Stephen i admire the people who do it but i never did. Do enjoy pretending . Jean its my favorite part of the show. We have these wonderful extras who are paid to laugh, so its fantastic. Stephen just like these people, paid to laugh. [applause] jean [laughs] all of the fun, none of the risk. Stephen you have a lovely laugh. Jean thank you. Stephen do you get that often . Jean i dont know if its lovely. Its sort of like woody woodpecker. Stephen its clear. He would stand out in the crowd. Jean my darling late husband, when i met him he was doing a play and so he invited me to come and see the play. It was a terrible romantic comedy but he was very, very good in it. I went a few times. When i would laugh, it kind of got the audience going. His producer came to me and said that i had to come every time there was a critic. So i went about seven more times. Stephen i know the feeling. Theres a seat out there, e1 in the audience and that is for evie, my wife. Thats her seat. Jean seriously . I love that stephen so i can see her. Jean and she still thinks youre funny . Stephen she does. Jean how many years has it been . Stephen still thinks im funny. The drugs are working. Edibles are amazing. Jean [laughs] stephen is a stage actress, one of the things about film as you can break and you can recover. But on stage, you cant. What you do that night is with the audience gets. Paid once the hardest . I try to be professional but i have broken hard several times. Jean its scary. Actually the only time ive gone up on stage right just didnt remember my lines, the only time. I was with another actor and all of a sudden i just stopped in the middle of the speech and i thought, your adrenaline goes in such a rush, i cant tell you the name of the play or the plot or anything. But i did note the kitchen was off stage left and my character always had a drink in her hand so i thought ill just tell him im going to go fresh in my drink and refill it. The stage manager is there. I will just walk then go back out. Im just going to get another drink and i go offstage and the stage managers playing solitaire on his laptop. He is not anywhere near the scene. [screaming] my life flashed before my eyes. Stephen have you ever fallen asleep on stage . Jean no. I know actors who have had replaying dead . Stephen no. It was the second act of the show. It was a second act of the show and it starts in darkness and the lights would come up very, very, very very slowly with soft music playing because it was supposed to be don. Lights coming up. We are just on the play in vienna for ten days and come back to chicago and i had jet lag. In my mind was like 4 00 in the morning. The lights came upon the second act and i was sitting in the middle of the stage im supposed to start during this monologue. As dawn came, the lights came up and they just went back down again. Jean [laughs] oh, my god. Did somebody kick you . Stephen jean, so lovely to have you here. Jean thank you. Pleasure. Stephen season three of hacks premieres thursday on max. Its jean smart, everybody. Well be right back with the star of cabaret on broadway, gayle rankin. Remember when i said we need to screen for colon cancer . Was that after i texted the age to screen was now 45 . [both] because i said cologuard® hey there where did he come from . Yup, with me you can screen at home. Just talk to your provider. [both] well screen with cologuard and do it my way. Cologuard is a oneofakind way to screen for colon cancer thats effective and noninvasive. Its for people 45 at average risk, not high risk. False positive and negative results may occur. Ask your provider for me, cologuard. Upbeat music not flossing well . Then add the whoa of listerine to your routine. New science shows listerine is 5x more effective than floss at reducing plaque above the gumline. For a cleaner, healthier mouth. Ahhhhh. Listerine. Feel the whoa at tj maxx, you can afford to turn your closet into a place of endless expression. With the quality, styles, and prices you love. Wanna know a secret . More than just my armpits stink. Thats why i use secret whole body deodorant. Everywhere. 4 out of 5 gynecologists would recommend whole body deodorant, which gives you 72 hour odor protection from your pits to your sfx deoderant being sprayed secret whole body deodorant. we really dont want people to think of feeding food like ours is spoiling their dogs. Good, real food is simple. It looks like food, it smells like food, its what dogs are supposed to be eating. Open talenti and raise the jar to gelato made from scratch. Raise the jar to flavors from the worlds finest ingredients. And now, from jars to bars. New talenti gelato and sorbetto mini bars. Head shoulders bare clinically proven dandruff protection with just 9 essential ingredients no sulfates, no silicones, no dyes. Dandruff protection, minimal ingredients. Job done. [cheers and applause] stephen hey, welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an actor you know from the greatest showman, glow, and perry mason. She now stars as sally bowles in cabaret at the kit kat club on broadway. Please welcome to the late show, gayle rankin. [cheers and applause] i love it. May i . The red leather, very nice. Gayle you know, its freezing out. Its 83 degrees. Stephen its always freezing in here. Comedy weather. So nice to have you on the show. Congratulations on your reception as sally bowles in cabaret. Nominated for five awards, incluing you for outstanding lead performance in a musical. How are you feeling . Gayle thank you so much. [chees and applause] i mean, its a surreal, surreal moment. I never thought this was going to happen. Im very alive, very, very alive. Stephen thats good. Gayle rather than stephen its much better than the opposite. No one wants to go to the gravel pit. Thats one of the rules of show business. Stay away from the gravel pit. You had some incredible guests come see you. Next to eddie redmayne, jewel gray. John kander next to you who wrote the music for cabaret. Isnt intimidating to sing to john kander . Gayle yes. I was not informed he was in the audience. Stephen you walked on stage and john kander is right there . Thats not fair. Gayle i have a line in the show, you you can tell my uncle here and now because hes my agent. There is john kander for the rest of the show, i was like, all i could do was sing to john. To be able to sing cabaret to john kander. And to say it to the man who is the old chum of the old chums. We had met ten years ago when i did the first production. Stephen here you are. 2014. Its very different. Gayle some armpit hair. Stephen good for you. Gayle was at . Stephen during berlin. 1930s. You already know, the music is already in your bones. How was the shift to sally . Did you always want to play sally . Gayle deep down inside of me, like a private dream that i didnt want to play sally. Stephen like a wish he cant say out loud. Otherwise it wont happen. Gayle yeah, it was quite secret. I didnt believe it was going to happen. Even after my audition i had a call back and i was flying to berlin with a friend just on a track. Stephen for this production, call back. Cgs, to play sally. I was going to berlin. On a friends trip. We ended up in a bar with a composer friend. He was like all right, here we go. Were going to play some of the songs in your biasing them. If you dont get this part of lease you will have gone to play sally bowles in berlin. I think its very good, its a good tradeoff. It was one of the more special moments in my life. Stephen went to find out you got it . Gayle a few weeks later. I got a team phone call. I was not wearing pants. I was like, stay up here, team. Stephen would sally have state appear . Did you call your composer friend and say guess what . Gayle there were so many people who were just so beautifully support of journey. I have never cried so much of my life. I am crying on stage as well. Im dehydrated. Stephen you have something to keep your energy up on stage. I have Something Back here i want you to explain to me. Your character. I did notice this, i have seen cabaret multiple times. You have a prairie oyster its called. Gayle not a Rocky Mountain oyster. Stephen thats right. Whats prairie oyster . Gayle a prairie oyster a raw egg with worcestershire sauce and it is supposed to be heaven for a hangover. Have you ever had one . Stu and i have the ingredients. Gayle we should do it. I am going to take off the hermes because we have to get comfortable. [cheers and applause] here we go. Stephen i dont know why im doing it too. Its just polite to a guest. Just plain old raw egg. I will give you your water back later. Gayle blow on it for comedy. Beautiful. I dont dare to do that. Stephen egg yolk or the whole egg . Gayle the whole egg. Youre ready. Go for a period stephen how much worse to share . Gayle however much you want. I like to make it pretty dark. And go like this. I usually use my finger. [laughter] cheers. Good, no . Do you like it . Stephen im alive gayle you are alive stephen ive never done that with a guest. Gayle with other people, not a guest. Stephen i hear the scottish accent but you went to julliard. How did you get from scotland to julliard . How did you even know about it . Gayle i didnt. Stephen they hijacked you and made you go there . Gayle kidnapped me. No, i come here on holiday with my parents and taken the uptown bus tour, which is lincoln center. Theres an amazing stephen like a doubledecker bus tour . On your left, this is times square praise be to this person when here. This turner person went there. I should go there. Stephen for those of us who didnt go there, im not angry at all. Then it just happened. Gayle i auditioned. I did a call back. My dad came st. Patrics day weekend. It snowed. It just happened. They have an International Quota to fill. [laughter] stephen your young kid living in new york. Did you like it . Did it overwhelm you . Gayle i loved it. I was so young. It kind of reminds me of glasgow, from here the architecture is similar. Sometimes they shoot new york in lascaux. They shot some of batman. Stephen in glasgow . I do not know we had glaswegian architecture here. Gayle and we are on grid system too pray kind of feels like home. Stephen welcome home. Thank you so much for being here. Lovely to meet you. You can see cabaret at the kit kat club at the August Wilson theater. Its gayle rankin, everybody. Well be right back. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody tune in tomorrow when my guests will be jeff daniels and the star of hacks, hannah einbinder. Now stick around for after midnight with our dear friend taylor tomlinson. Good night