Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, if you will, look right here. [cheers and applause] announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight talking smack. Plus stephen welcomes Chris Wallace, and Wilmer Valderrama. Featuring jon baptiste and dave shuman. And to live on tape from. Sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen oh, hey [cheers and applause] whats going on . Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen thank you. You are too kind. Please, please have a seat, my friend. Welcome one and all to the late show, i am your host Stephen Colbert. It is monday unless you are chris rock. Because im pretty sure he got slapped into next week. For those of you who missed it, last night chris was presenting the oscar for best documentary, and he made an unflattering joke about Jada Pinkett Smith that her husband, will, apparently did not like. What makes me think that . This. [laughs] oh, wow. Wow will smith just smacked the [bleep] out of me. Stephen wow, indeed. Thats the worst thing will smith has ever done. Wait, i forgot about wild, wild west. [cheers and applause] hes not here, is he . [laughter] im kidding, obviously. The worst thing hes ever done is gemini man. Someone should slap both of the guys in that movie. This is going to go down in Oscar History as one of the most chaotic moments. Up there with the streaker behind david niven in 74, brando sending up Sacheen Littlefeather in 73, and 1959 when tony curtis sacktapped bob hope. Objective observer its never ok to punch a comedian. Now, will smith was offended by where do i find the courage . Ive got to say now, will smith was offended by the joke and wanted to stand up for his wife. Fine. Challenge chris to a duel or, if you really want to hurt a comedian dont laugh. It hurts more than a punch. I promise you. It does. But this does prove one thing. Chris rock can take a punch. Were the same age hes a 57 year old comedian. Look at this. Pap. Chris just shakes it off with one step. Will smith trained for months to play mohammed ali. I have met will smith. Ive spoken to him right over there. Hes got a hand like a flank steak if will wanted to hit somebody, he should have picked somebody more appropriate, like jason momoa or liza minnell. At this point, shes unkillable. She is going to live forever. Today we learned that chris isnt pressing charges. But of course, this is hollywood, and there are rules. You cant just storm a stage, physically assault someone on camera, and then go back to your seat. There have to be consequences like winning the oscar for best actor and receiving a staning ovation, then partying all night. Who says hollywood sends a bad message to our kids . You see that johnny. You see that . You solve your problems with violence, everyone will love you and give you golden statues. Now, off to the afterparty mister youve got a lot of your own music to dance to you go get jiggy with it water so clear you go straight to the bottom we are going to miami but however you feel about celebrityoncelebrity violence, apparently you love it, because the oscars ratings showed a 56 improvement. So get ready for next years 95th Academy Award oscar slaptacular death match. Five nominees enter, one exits. Across the globe in ukraine, putins criminal war continues to grind ahead, but for russia, it hasnt been a cakewalk. Or as they call it, a turnip jog. Over the past few weeks, Russian Forces have suffered heavy losses and have been thwarted in their primary objectives to control the countrys main cities, including kyiv. So, the Russian Military annunced a change of strategy. Over the weekend, russia said the first phase of the war is over everythings going according to plan. That plan . Phase one we lose. Phase two war is over. We win [cheers and applause] i dont have the knees for it. Instead of toppling kyiv, experts believe that russias new objective is to split the country between regions it controls and regions it does not. You know youre starting to scare the school bully when he goes from gimmie your lunch money to tell ya what, you keep your lunch money, ill keep my lunch money, and ill limit my wedgies to your butts eastern regions this weekend, President Biden traveled to europe to show support for ukraine and rally world allies. The president gave a stirring speech in warsaw, then ended it with a little adlib, a freeball, a lil make em up that was 100 pure scrappy scranton ukraine will never be a victory for russia. For people refuse to live in heartlessness and darkness, for god sake, this man cannot remain in power. Stephen come on, jack, i know im not supposed to say it. Lets just im not supposed to say it. Putin has to hop the next choochoo to goodbye junction im shootin straight from the hip replacement and im not afraid to say other stuff were all thinkin chris rock was outta line if he made a crack about doctor jill, id have jumped up on that stage and given his finger a good chomp down to knuckle number 2 then id win the oscar for most teeth. Cmon, wanda now, officially american policy is not to call for regime change, so this was a bit of a gaffe. But when youve already called someone a butcher and a war criminal, it would seem weird if you also thought they should keep their job. Theres a reason Winston Church hill never said this. We shall fight them on the beaches and the landing ground, but lets pump the brakes on replacing hitler as chancellor, everyone deserves them all again. Stephen on sunday on sunday, secretary of state Antony Blinken tried to walk back the president s remarks. As you know and as you have heard him say repeatedly we do not have a regime change in russia or anywhere else for that matter. Stephen we do not have a strategy in regime change in russia or anywhere else. Interesting point. Here with a rebuttal is saddam husseins head in a box. President hussein, anything youd like to say . [applause] there whether or not were officially are some exceptions. Trying to replace putin, america and its allies continue to sanction his nipples down to the nub. And hes pushing back. Over the weekend, he gave a speech in which he took up the conservative talking point that opposing his war is cancel culture. They will cancel mother russia just like they did mr. Potato heads beautiful penis. His penis is potato. Disturbing the look of that box for too long. Putin also compared himself to harry potter author j. K. Rowling, whos come under fire for repeatedly tweeting antitrans sentiments. Vlad said not so long ago, they canceled childrens author j. K. Rowling whose books were spread all over the world in the hundreds of millions of copies, because she did not please fans of socalled gender freedoms. Today they are trying to abolish an entire 1,000yearold country, our people. No surprise putin likes rowling. Hes indebted to her ever since she gave him the sock that set him free. That was a long walk, but worth it. [applause] closer to home, theres more dumb stuff coming out of the mouth of North Carolina republican and frat bro telling the pledges where to shove that wriggling goldfish, madison cawthorn. Cawthorn recently appeared on something called the warrior poet society. Sounds ridiculous, but i have a lot of respect for warrior poets. Do you have any idea how long it takes to write a sonnet with an ar15 . Shall. I. Compare. On the society, cawthorn explained why you should never meet your heroes. Speak of the e sexual perveversn in washihington, over thee age f 60 or 7070, and i l look at allf ththese people andnd a lot off m iive looked up to you, always pay attentionon to politics, thn they get invited to like oh, hey,y, we are gogoing t to havea sesexual gettogether at one of our homes, you shohould come. What did you just asked me to come to . And then you realize they are asking you to come to a orgy. Stephen yeah. It took him a second to realize it was an orgy because sexual gettogether is so subtle. Come naked and ready for sex with your penis. Now, cawthorn doesnt name names. But hes a staunch maga republican, so i doubt hes getting invited to the democratic orgies. And the strangely folksy nature of sexual gettogether means he must be talking about the famed republican flesh Chuck Grassleys ass jamboree. Welcome to the sexual gettogether. Therell be some screwing and chewing, some poking and stroking; some yanking and spanking. Theres gonna be various jellies on bellies. And a platter of fishsticks. So grab a name tag and some nipple clamps and go right in. Im chuck grassley, and i approve this massage. Weve got a great show for you tonight, my guests are Chris Wallace and ncis Wilmer Valderrama. But when we come back, somebodys in trouble with the january 6 committee. Can you guess who . Announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by 24hour heartburn detection with pririlosec otc. Blocksks heartburnrn fofor a full 2 24 hours. For onone and donene heartbun rerelief, prililosec otc. One pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. Whwhat do we a always say,y, . Libertrty mutual c customizes your c car insuranance. So y you only papay for r what you n need. Ththats my boboy. Stay off t the freewayays onlyly pay for w what you nee. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. L liberty. New emergenc crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. And who doesnt love a good throwback . [sfx video game] emergenc crystals. 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It absorbs 25times its weight and features dryshield™ technology, that protects better than pads and keeps you 2times drier. Try depend®. vo ultimate endless shrimp is here with a limited time flavor drop. New crispy dragon shrimp. One of seven endless choices for just 20. Right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining. Ugh, i ill deal with thihis tomorrowow. You wowont. Its r ripe in herere. My e eyes are wawatering. Look howow crusty ththis is. Ugh, its s just too m much. Not with t this. Good advdvice. When stainins and odorors pile, itss got to bebe tide. At cretors, we handcraft every batch of our delicious popcorn. Like our cretors cheese and caramel mix. Great on their own, even better together. Try cretors, handcrafted smallbatch popcorn. [cheers and applause] stephen give it up for the band, everybody right there [cheers and applause] luis kato, everybody. On the guitar, and two fantastic guests tonight. Friend of the show and new resident of cnn of all places Chris Wallace is here tonight and more alphabet soup from ncis Wilmer Valderrama is here tonight. Louis, lets talk about the elephant not in the room. Where is jon . 11 grammy nominees. Stephen they are weak from, is it monday or sunday . With that many nominations you have to start giving them out ahead of time. On the installment plan. Did you watch the oscars last night . I did not. I woke up to it this morning. Stephen you know who woke up. Chris rock. Will smith slapped him, do you think it was real . Louis i think it was real. Stephen will is not a good enough actor to do it otherwise. Louis will [laughter] stephen bam. The january 6th select committee continues to do their work, and today, they got some good news that spells trouble for former president , don con jovi. Because a federal judge ruled that the former president more likely than not committed a crime in trying to block the confirmation of bidens win. I believe he cited the legal precedent of no [bleep] v. Sherlock. The bombshell is part of the Ongoing Investigation into disgraced lawyer, john eastman, seen here at the stagedreading of his oneman dr. Who musical. Eastman was the law professor who believed that former Vice President mike pence could just reject individual states Electoral College votes. First of all, no. Second of all, you want to give somebody unlimited power, and you pick mike pence . He doesnt even have the power to be in a room with a woman whos not his wife. The committee has been trying to get eastmans records and emails for months. Hes been claiming attorneyclient privilege, but that doesnt apply to lawyers who help their clients commit a crime, and in this case, the judge found that the illegality of the plan was obvious. Yes hell yes. Say it. Yeah, eastman probably shouldnt have labeled the folder crime ideas keep out the judge added that every american and certainly the president of the United States knows that in a democracy, leaders are elected, not installed. Normally this would be a great point, but the former president doesnt know too much about the american government. He thinks the Supreme Court is just a regular court with extra sour cream and guac. Thanks to this new ruling, eastman has been ordered to turn over 100 emails. Hell yes theyre getting his emails now the committees going to know whether the former president tried to turn our country into a Banana Republic and theyll know if Banana Republic offered eastman 40 percent off selected mens separates another person in the jan 6th committee is interested in talking to is the wife of Supreme CourtJustice Clarence thomas, conservative activist and woman dreaming of an even more aggressive scarf, ginni thomas. Thomas is an extreme Election Fraud truther, and last thursday, we found out that after the election, she sent a barrage of Text Messages imploring the former president s chief of staff, mark meadows, to take steps to overturn the vote. That is huge. The wife of a sitting Supreme Court justice conspired with the president s chief of staff to throw out the results of a free and fair election. And she never even invented a pillow. How hard can it be to invent a pillow . Put something on Something Else and lie on it. In one message, thomas urged meadows to save us from the left taking america down and to release the kraken, a reference to the bmovie, clash of the titans. We should have known the sound of treason would be a random movie quote. Who can forget the words of John Wilkes Booth . Sic semper tyrannis. This is sparta you cant handle the truth my wiiiiife [applause] my wiiiiife not all of thomass texts were succinct, because she also quoted language from random websites that said, Biden Crime Family ballot fraud coconspirators fake stream media reporters, etc are being arrested detained for ballot fraud right now over coming days, and will be living in barges off gitmo to face military tribunals for sedition, and then added i hope this is true. [laughter] what . You cant put out that much information and then undercut it with a huh . Darwin didnt end the origin of the species with huge if true. Well be right back with chris wawallace. [cheerers and applplause] type 2 diaiabetes . Discovover the ozezempic® trir. I got the e power of 3 3. I lowewered my a1c1c, cv ris, and lolost some weweight. In studieses, the majority o of people reached anan a1c underer 7 and d maintaineded it. Im under r 7. 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But has now come to his senses and join the new streaming service cnn plus. His new show whos talking to Chris Wallace . Premieres tomorrow night. Please welcome back to the late show, Chris Wallace [cheers and applause] Stephen Lovely to have you back, thank you for having me here. Chris so stephen, i have a question. Stephen i ask the questions. I also have an editor, so go ahead and ask. Chris some people would say you are sort of a comedian . Stephen it depends on the crowd, yes. Chris has anyone come up out of the crowd and giving you a smack right across the face . Stephen no, because i have a good security team. Chris so they come out, but they get stephen 100 , true story, people asked me when i did the old character on the colbert report, we would talk to president s and say he is terrible things to them, they would say how do you keep a straight face . And i said obviously im afraid theyre going to punch me and it has a sobering effect on a comedian. Now sir, its always good having oncoming annoy like talking to you, i respect you as a journalist. You have integrity, and i have ripped you over the years a few times about why would he want to be at fox news given the fact chris you have worn me out on this idea. Stephen you seem to think that it is not a fair alley of inquiry. Chris no, i just think you have flogged this horse gear after year. Stephen but you only recently have admitted i was right. A[applause] chris so i think you should take yes for an answer and we will move on to my new show. Stephen we will definitely move on to your new show, and i accept your apology. Lets talk about your new show who is talking to Chris Wallace . I will bite, who . Chris we launch tomorrow, cnn plus. Stephen thats exciting. Chris very exciting. My first guest will be one of the great americans, admiral william mcraven, he was a man who brought down bin laden, the man who captured capt captain phillips, or rescued captain Phil Phillips and arrested saddam hussein, and i cant think of anybody better to talk about what is going on in ukraine and how we face the challenges we face, because as you well know, he is an expert on leadership on wednesday nights we have mila kunis and ashton kutcher, they have spent a lot of time raising money for over 30 million ukraine. On thursday we are going to talk to robert iger, the former head of disney. So its going to be a mix of guests. In one of the reasons i wanted to make this move, i love streaming, you know, youve got to go to a commercial, i dont. I can just go have a conversation for 45 minutes. Stephen wow. Chris seriously. Stephen thats a pretty hostile thing for you to say just there. Chris you can dish it out, but you cant take it . Stephen im not going to slap you, because i am a gentleman. I have a question, you are great at asking the right question at the right moment, what would you ask will smith if you could fit let matt sit down with him . What were the question be . Chris you have spent with your team of writers all day coming up with the right question stephen you i really have not. Chris youre going atop me. Stephen what would your question be . Chris i thought about this, because you do if you interview people for a living, you think to yourself, what would i ask . Why what the hell were you thinking . And when he woke up at 3 00 this morning, and i know you did, what did you think . Stephen im not sure he had gone to bed yet. Chris as i found out, you see stephen i would say, is that the hardest you can punch . Because he has a small guy coming have to at least find inches on chris rock probably 8. Chris this is the third time, youre really impressed with the fact that chris rock took the punch. C stephen have you ever bn punched in the face, Chris Wallace . Chris have you seen this face . Of course not. Have you been punched in the face . Stephen i have been punched in the face. Have you heard the expression you talk like a guy who has never been punched in the face . Chris yeah. Stephen you do . Chris so what does it feel like . Stephen its completely disorienting. Chris i hear if its a really good punch you dont feel it. Stephen i guess i did not get a really good punch, because i felt it. Mike tysons vote to let matt quote about everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face. Its completely true, the fact that chris remembered english words is surprising to me. Chris he handled it pretty well. Stephen we have to take a quick break, but when we come back i will ask chris what it is like to sit down and interview Vladimir Putin. Stick k around. Thats n not gonna f fit. Those e are the pepeople who o know to chchoose allst. Thatats not gononna fit. Whatss that . Yoyou need anonother four r in . Do you worork here . Nonope, i justst saw you t te and i ththought id sasave you thehe trouble. Nanana shes a a human measasuring t. And d she knows s allstate is the rigight fit foror he. Itss not gonnana fit. Thats notot gonna fitit. Whatat . Steveven . Some p people justst know. Well playeyed. Wellll played, m my friend. Those e are the pepeople who kw youure in goodod hands withth allstate. E. [s[stomach grorowling] itits nothingng. Sounds l like someththing. Whwhen you havave nausea, heartbururn, indigesestion upset t stomach, d diarrhea pepto bismsmol cocoats and sosoothes for fastst relief whwn yoyou need it most. Hi, im norma, and i lostst 53 poundsds on go. sofoft music pepto bismsmol cocoats and sosoothes a lot of people expect to fall apart as they age, but since taking release, my e energys imimproved, my skinns improveded. Ive neverer felt betttter. Inez, let t me ask youou, yoyoure usingng head and shshoulders, r right . Ononly when i i see flakese. Then i i switch baback to my regugular shampopoo you shouldld use it evevery w, otherwisise the flakakes willll come backck. Hes r right, you u know. Is t that tiny t troy . Ththe ingredieients in head d and shouldlders keep t the microbebes that causese flakes atat. Microbeses, really . . Theyre e always onn yoyour scalp. Little rascal. But goodod news, therees no itchihiness, dryness oror flakes dodown i lolove tiny trtroy. Hes the b best. Mamake every w wash count little h help, pleasase. Stephen turn it off hey, everybody we are back here with a host of whos talking to Chris Wallace on cnn plus, mr. Chris wallace. Chris wallace, there is been a lot of talk about loss of trust trust in the american government. If you had a magic wand, what would you change either presently or historically about the media to try to restore the trust . Chris thats a good question. Stephen its what i do, baby. Chris so here is what i would say. And a funny way i blame my father for this, mike wallace and 60 minutes. You knew that my father was mike wallace. Stephen no, when a guy comes in and throws his dad under the bus during the question. Chris i think the biggest problem with the news is that used to be in the old days and i can remember growing up with my father in the 70s that news did not make money. It was a public service. And the networks viewed it as a public service. And then 60 minutes came along and showed you could make a phenomenal amounts of money. Stephen and still be news. Chris yes, but what goes on everywhere, probably particularly cable and the left as well as the right people are chasing audiences. So i think if there was not if people would just accept that we are not trying to make money, we are just trying to perform a public service, i think we would have better news. [applause] stephen i think you are right. Good luck. Good luck. Chris we are going to play it straight on thats what i always do with whos talking to Chris Wallace. We did an interview with the author of the 1619th project. And she said she enjoyed it, but i challenge her, some of the things that she says in the 1619 project. So there will be times when i come at things from the left, sometimes i come at it from the right, the whole point is to get people talking and thats what you do. You want to get people talking and hopefully, hopefully there will be imminent where people were forget about the audience, we wont have an audience, we can afford it. But forget about the cameras on the lights and you have a real moment of interaction, and people at home will sit there and go, man, i dont see that on tv. Stephen i want to talk about somebody you have spoken straight to, ask challenging questions in your own way. And its this interview with Vladimir Putin in 2018. And first of all, whats it like to be in a room with him . Chris its funny, when he comes in the room at first, he kind of does this. He kind of slouches back like this. Like the bored kid in the back of the room and he is not really paying much attention to you and does not give you much eye contact, but at one point, seriously in the Russian Embassy in helsinki right after the summit with donald trump, i said why is it, president putin, that so many people who oppose you end up dead . And from that moment on i should ask that will smith too. From that moment on i had his undivided attention, those ice blue eyes piercing into you. And i would say that his sense of grievance that he feels the west has pushed russia around, i got that from the interview. His toughness when i asked him that question about why so many people end up dead, he said we all have our domestic problems. Literally, that was his answer. I thought it was a rational actor and thats not what ive seen this last month. Stephen how has it changed your view . Chris i dont know how it ends. I dont know where he thinks if he wins he loses, and if he loses, he loses. And he is a paria, how does he go back to meeting with World Leaders . How does russia as long as he is in power go back to having an economy . So what is his end game . Stephen would that be your question if you had the same will smith situation . If you had one question . Chris i think it would be. How does this end . Stephen im going to guess poorly. Chris for me or for russia . Stephen depends on whether or not you ask him in person. Chris, lovely to see you. Hope that its the first of many trips over from cnn plus. Chris i would love that. As bill and thats a booking. Chris can i say one thing . There is one person i would love to have on the show. Stephen thats all we have time for. Chris this is absolutely scouts honor, so we have been asking his agent, we have been asking his executive producer, and what we keep being told is his production schedule does not permit it, you know who that is . Jon batiste. You said this is a booking, so sit down and talk to Chris Wallace . Stephen well i talked to Chris Wallace . What is the one question you want to ask me . Chris when he woke up at 3 00 this morning stephen its a deal. Chris all right. Whos talking to Chris Wallace, me evidently. Premieres tomorrow night on cnn plus its Chris Wallace, everybody we will be back with the star of ncis Wilmer Valderrama ultimate endless shrimp is here with a limited time flavor drop. New crispy dragon shrimp. One of seven endless choices for just 20. Right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining. Fofor your mosost brillianant , crest has s you coverered. laughghing nicece smile, brbrad. Ninice thananks . Crest 3d whihite. 100 morore stain reremoval. Crcrest. 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Dadayquil honeney, the daytytime, coughghing, achihing, stuffyfy head, f, hohoneylicious, power through your day, medicine. Ya know,w, if you wewere cashbackining you coululdn on everyrything with j just one cacard. Chase frfreedom unlilimited. So, if y youre off f the racking. G. Or crabab cracking,g, yoyoure cashbhbacking. Cashbaback on flapapjacks, baby b backs, or t tacos at ththe taco shah. Nanah, im wororking onon my six papack. Switchch to a kingng suite, or b book a silelent retreat. Silent r retreat . Hold u up yeeerprp . I i cant talklk right nowo, im m at a silenent retreat. Cashback on everything y you by with chahase freedomom unlimd wiwith no annunual fee. How do y you cashbacack . Chase. Make morore of whatts you. [cheers and applause] stephen hey, everybody welcome back to the show program, the broadcast. Folks, my next guest tonight is an actor you know from that 70s show, ncis, and encanto. Please welcome to the late show, Wilmer Valderrama [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] stephen thank you so much for being here wilmer am so proud to be here and in new york city its so good to be back here. I have not been back since the whole thing. Stephen i know it was not easy for you to be here. You are at the oscars last night, because encanto was nominated. Anything interesting happen . Last night, wilmer . Wilmer i guess this is interesting, so i watched i was taking the redeye last night to come here, so i waited and watched the we dont talk about brbruno performance. Everybody talked about bruno and thats on. By the way. And i was like okay, got to get to the airport. And as soon as the car man goes, were you there . And i was like what happened, what happened . Ultimately i missed the entire thing. Just because i was coming to see you. [laughter] stephen well, i am grateful. Now you can say i was in no way involved in that situation. Wilmer thats right. Stephen your film encanto, it won the oscar, congratulations wilmer thank you very much [applause] stephen you have a young daughter . How old . Wilmer she is 14 months. Stephen issue old enough to play the encanto soun soundtrack . Wilmer she did not have to be old enough, we will play it regardless. Every single morning since the soundtrack released, we will play it for. Now she can stand up, and claps her hands. Its very funny, because it is getting to the point where you know, she is starting to kind of identified dancing, so shes bouncing a little bit and like last week she started making some really suspect moves. Stephen what do you mean . Wilmer you know, she would do one of these and then she would do wanted to use. And i was like that is stephen may be hold it right there. Wilmer i think, no more encanto soundtrack. Its too early, too close to a twerk. Stephen youre storing in an upcoming series zorro for disney, the original was before you were born, how familiar were you were with zorro when you grew up . Wilmer very familiar, its the dream of my lifetime to be zorro, since i was seven years old. Stephen so here we are, this is is this . Right here . Wilmer that is not me right there, the reason why that is not me. I was so so heres the backstory on this. To really tell a picture. So when i lived in venezuela, when you go to carnaval coming out of school and dress up. I used to dress up like zorro every single year and then my friend called me said im going to be zorro tomorrow. And i did not like it. So i wanted to send him a message, you know . And i wore that costume and followed him everywhere in the school. [laughter] stephen watch out who is this . Wilmer thats my little sister marilyn. Stephen thats fantastic, we are both part of the cbs family here, you joined ncis in season 14. Now its on season 19, that is a lot of naval crime. I dont know why there is so much naval crime. How much crime is they are around boats . But having done that for five seasons and in the fifth season, do you think you could solve a crime . Have you picked it up through osmosis . Wilmer at such a loaded question, because us actors think we could do it. Stephen everybody on greys anatomy they think they are doctors. It wilmer god forbid there is a real situation at a restaurant. Im not a doctor, but i play one on tv. But obviously, the thing about ncis as i feel i would be pretty good. At solving crimes, but unfortunately, i think the crime has to be ridiculously weird and twisted, because thats the only cases we have on the show. Stephen no simple crimes. It wilmer like a weird clown who steals sweaty clothes. But i would be really good at that. Stephen well, the new ncis is ncis hawaii and there is crossover tonight . I cannot watch it, because im here interviewing you. But we have a clip do you want to tell me what is happening . Wilmer yes, so we are walking through this sacred ground, and we rolled up on someone and we do cop stuff. Stephen dont to get too technical. Wilmer i dont want to give a anything awaway, but i ia fake badad guy. [laughter]r] t to thehe right. Specicial agent torres, w wet at last. T. Im sorryry. I hahave no ideaea who you are. Reallyy . . I do need you to lower that webcam. And thank you. Stephen cop stuff. Wilmer cop stuff, very polite. Stephen wilmer, thank you for being here. Wilmer thank you for having me. Stephen ncis airs mondays at 9 00 p. M. On cbs we will be right back, Wilmer Valderrama, everybody. [cheers and applause] goli, taste your goals. Stephen good night, yall. [cheers and applause] coming to you from hollyod, almost live, its comics unleashed, with your host, byron allen. Tonight, byron welcomes hal sparks