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I win taffyland comes with a 231yearold rule book that is the foundation of the game, which you can interpret any way you want. Its my turn. Where are the dice . You cant feed the dice to the dog. Who says . Ill see you in court taffyland stop the game edition, because playing by the rules is a lesson you never have to learn announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, keep calm and count on. Plus stephen welcomes Larry Wilmore and musical guest Laura Benanti, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Im here with my friends mark and chris. Scotts over there. Evies right over there. Were taping this just a little while after donald trump walked into the White House Briefing room and tried to poison american democracy. Thats why im not sitting down yet. I just dont feel like it yet. Thats also why im dressed for a funeral. Because donald trump tried really hard to kill something tonight. Around 7 00, the president came out into the White House Briefing room and lied for 15 minutes. Just nonsense about illegal vote dumps and corrupt Election Officials and secret democratic cabals and, i dont know longform birth certificates, probably. Its all the same. If you didnt know that it that joe biden was getting close to 270, donald trump just provided all the proof you will ever need. True story im wearing black, because i was getting dressed this afternoon and i thought, he might try some shenanigans and it might be fitting to tell jokes while wearing something somber if he goes down that dark path. And im no prophet. Its just, hes so predictable. For weeks, weve been talking about how thered be a red mirage, then how the outstanding biden mailin ballots would maybe let joe catch up. And that trump would then come out probably thursday around the evening news and pretend that he won and accuse everyone of cheating. The guy doesnt have another gear. Get a new act i mean, he said this stuff back in 2016 i will totally accept the results of this great and historic president ial election. If i win. Stephen so, we all knew he would do this. What i did not know is how much it would hurt. I didnt expect this to break my heart. For him to cast a dark shadow on our most sacred right. From the Briefing Room in the white house our house, not his that is devastating. This is heartbreaking for the same reason that i didnt want him to get covid, certainly why i wanted him to survive, because he is the president of the united states. That office means something and that office should have some shred of decency. Now, we knew he would leave a stain there and not just from his butt bronzer because everything he did is now president ial behavior. Including this. Unless unless every Single Person rejects what he just did. And hat means, for all the predictable behavior of the las few days and the last four years, right now something unpredictable needs to happen republicans have to speak up all of them. Because for evil to succeed, all thatis necessary is for good men to do nothing. So Say Something right now, republicans. Not later, not after youve stuck your finger up in the wind or wherever you want to put it. Right now, its in your best interest. You only survived this up until now because a lot of voters didnt want to believe everything that was obvious to so many of us that donald trump is a fascist. And when it comes to democracy versus fascism, there are not fine people on both sides. So you need to choose donald trump or the American People . This is the time to get off the trump train. Because he just told you where the train is going, and its not a passenger train, but hell load you on it, too, someday. In absence of good men, how about Mitch Mcconell . Has he said anything . What does he say . He declined to comment. Stephen he declined to comment. Okay, Mitch Mcconnell has declined to comment. The maxim of the law is qui tacet consentire. Who is silent, gives consent. So, mitch was loud and clear. Hes okay with this. Its not even a hard call. This is in your self interest to support votes being counted. Thats how you got your jobs. I guess Mitch Mcconnell is saying he was reelected through fraudulent votes as well . And hes holding onto the senate because of fraudulent elections in other states, and republicans picked up seats in the house because of fraudulent elections . So, cast them all out . Is that what your silence is saying, Mitch Mcconnell . So americas going to count Something Else right now. Who is willing to speak up. Who is going to speak up against donald trump trying to kill democracy, and who will stay silent in the face of this desperate attack on the Bedrock Institution of this great nation. Because he just attacked the thing that most makes us great. Its time to mean what all your hats have been yelling. By the way, if donald trump is right and joe biden pulled the strings behind the scenes in republican states like arizona and georgia, while coordinating with democratic states like pennsylvania and nevada, and wisconsin and michigan, and throwing in the red herring of letting the republicans keep the senate and gain seats in the house, while just barely removing donald trump . Wow i mean, kudos to that level of interstate coordination i mean, anyone who could accomplish that many things at once would really be the president we need during a global pandemic. This is when i really wish i could swear. But ill just say this were not going to show you a second of what that sad, frightened fraud said. Because it is poison, and i like you. He can suck silence. And he can suck my frosted yumnut. That reference is going to make sense later. Stay with me. And instead, i want to show you someone doing the right thing. This happened yesterday in nevada. As i mentioned, we are not prepared the biden crime familys stealing the election the medias covering up joe biden crime familys stealing this election the medias covering up joe bidens covering up this election. Joe biden is covering up this election hes stealing it where were we . What was the last question . laughter that guy out in front of the mics i joe gloria, the registrar of clark county, nevada. He let that guy spew his crazy till he was tired, watched him walk away, and then joe gloria took a deep breath, and did his job. Which is what we should all do. Stay cool. Okay, now lets do the monologue. Biden crime family, biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Biden crime family. Thats all i got. laughter stephen okay, where were we . Even before il douchie lumbered to the podium, america was experiencing some highlyrefined, weaponsgrade anxiety because, while things were looking good for biden, as of 8 30 p. M. , the race remains on a razors edge. So, not only is it stressful, its irresponsible. America should be nowhere near sharp objects. They should take away our shoelaces and our belt. A reminder to win the presidency, a candidate needs 270 electoral votes. As i record tonights zoetrope, biden has 253. Biden is so close to victory, he can smell its hair. One key state is arizona. Biden is ahead. In fact, several news organizations have already called the state for him. The trump folks still insist they have a chance, but even republicanfriendly estimates say trump has a steep uphill battle to close the gap. And the only thing more challenging than a steep uphill battle for trump would be a steep downhill waddle. Then theres nevada, where bidens ahead, but not by much. He currently leads by about 12,000 votes, with the majority of the votes left from the las vegas area. But its no surprise that trump didnt take vegas. Whenever trump is near a casino, he loses everything. Another state were waiting on is georgia, which awards 16 electoral votes. Now its a tossup. Per the Georgia State constitution, their election cannot be ultimately decided until all mailin votes are tabulated and one candidate has defeated the devil in a fiddle contest. But the key race is the keystone state, pennsylvania. Bidens home state. Right now, trump leads, but as they count the mailin ballots, biden is rapidly closing the gap. If biden wins, hell receive an electiondeciding 20 electoral votes. Per the pennsylvania constitution, thats one for every car theyll flip over in philly, no matter who wins. But no surprise, trump is already claiming he won pennsylvania, among other states, tweeting, we have claimed, for electoral vote purposes, the commonwealth of pennsylvania which wont allow legal observers the state of georgia, and the state of north carolina, each one of which has a big trump lead. Additionally, we hereby claim the state of michigan if, in fact, there was a large number of secretly dumped ballots as has been widely reported you cant make something official just by using fancysounding words like hereby. For electoral vote purposes, i forthwith, heretofore, hitherto, and twobyfour, call the last chocolate donut. My lawyers are coming in to lick it. Speaking of lawyers who can lick it, yesterday, trump sent a specialops team to philadelphia second first son and man getting dumped over zoom, eric trump, and attorney to the president and man asking a rat if its going to finish that cockroach, rudy giuliani. And eric revealed the trump campaigns master plan we are going to file suit in pennsylvania. Its a shame have to do that. Its the last thing that we wanted to do, its the las thing my father wanted to to. Stephen technically, the last thing your father wanted do is go to your birthday party. But if this was the last thing he wanted to do, why was it the first thing he said . Were going to go in the night of, as soon as that elections over, were going in with our lawyers. Stephen and since your lawyer is rudy, i assume by going in, you mean prison. Then, rudy got testy. The ultimate result is, President Trump has won pennsylvania. Ive never heard of a count where youre headed by 400,000 with 80 plus counted and they havent called it for you yet. Do you think were stupid . Do you think we are fools . P stephen is that a trick question . Beause. Yes . You buttdialed reporters, twice you voluntarily appeared on a Television Show that i executive produce that is anchored by cartoons. Twice you were duped by sacha baron cohen, once i think, because judging by your lower teeth, your dentist trained in kazakhstan, as a veterinarian. Trump needs help anywhere he can get it, including divine intervention. And he has the support of his spiritual adviser and Real Estate Agent saying, before we go upstairs, you should know that the previous owner had a just a little murder problem. Watch where you step, paula white. To support the president , yesterday, paula led a marathon Prayer Service in orlando, and she was feeling the spirit. Strike and strike and strike and strike and strike and strike and strike and strike and strike and strike until you have victory. I hear a sound of shouting and singing i hear a sound of victory. I hear a sound of an abundance of rain, i hear a sound of victory. Victory, victory, victory, victory, victory, victory, victory. Stephen dont you hate it when your preacher starts skipping . Tell you what, try wiping her off with a clean, damp cloth, or unplug her and plug her back in. White also summoned some very special poll watchers. Angels are being released right now, angels are being dispatched right now. For angels have even been dispatched from africa right now, africa right now, africa right now, from africa right now. Theyre coming here. Theyre coming here. In the name of jesus from south america theyre coming here. Stephen hold on, trumps asking for election interference from foreign angels . Thats clearly committing collusion in broad daylight rudy, help me out do they think were stupid . Do they think were fools . Stephen and what is the deal with the guy who keeps passing through the shot behind her . Is that her roommate, Walking Around with a rolledup new yorker . Hey, dont mind me. Keep going with your work thing. But id stay out of the bathroom for a while. Lets just say more than angels just dropped in. laughter at one point, she started speaking in tongues. speaking in tongues stephen all right. Maybe its me, maybe im a connoisseur of the mystical, but those arent very impressive tongues. It sounds like shes on level two of duolingo holy spirit edition. Of course, like king david, whites message to the lord can only be fully appreciated in song. singing in tongues i hear a sound of victory, i hear a sound of victory singing in tongues and strike, strike, strike, strike. The bidens are stealing this election tongue speaking in tongues we want freedom for the world. Until you have victory. Stephen where were we . Okay, so thats the monolog that we planned on. When we come back, you might notice that my emotional tone might have simmered down a bit, because we recorded that part first. But i got to tell you, it is a fantastic show youre going to want to stick around. Tonight, Larry Wilmore is here. But when we come back, an amazing meanwhile its got the whole yumnut thing in it. Youre going to want to know what i meant. Stick around. This week on the upper hands. Special guest flo challenges the hand models to show off the ease of comparing rates with progressives home quote explorer. International hand model jonjon gets personal. Your wayward pinky is grotesque. Then a high stakes pattycake Battle Royale ends in triumph. You have the upper hands its a race to the lowest rate, and so much more. Only on the upper hands. Its a race to the lowest rate, and so much more. Got the whole fam rockin hejingle jammays olidays our 18th time watchin love actuallay we gon have the best holiday here at old navay shop jingle jammies from head to toe to tail. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com my psorii had enough s pain . Its not getting in my way. Joint pain, swelling, tenderness. Much better. My psoriasis, clearer. Cosentyx works on all of this. Four years and counting. So watch out. I got this watch me. Real people with active Psoriatic Arthritis look and feel better with cosentyx. Cosentyx works fast for results that can last. It treats the multiple symptoms of Psoriatic Arthritis, like joint pain and tenderness, back pain, and helps stop further joint damage. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine, or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. I just look and feel better. I got real relief with cosentyx. Watch me feel real relief. Ask your rheumatologist about cosentyx. vo command hooks are easy to apply and remove cleanly so you can go all out this holiday. Command. Do. No harm. Stephen you know, ladies and gentlemen, i spend a lot of time framing the most informative panoramic shots, awaiting the topical golden hour to capture the most breathtaking story vistas, and assembling it all into the david attenboroughnarrated news documentary that is my monologue. But once in a while, i grab an old camcorder, a sixpack of natty ice, and run around the woods halfnaked and hammered to create the blurry, foundfootage sasquatch video of news that is my segment quarantinewhile quarantinewhile, another restaurant quhain has closed, friendlies. Quarantine while, Disney Research just unveiled a skinless humanoid robot with creepy life like eyes. Jimmy, can we see it . Oh, god im sorry, thats the new c. E. O. Of disney. Bob chaypek. Can we look for the robot photo . While were waiting, disney engineers say theyre working toward the development of a system for lifelike gaze, because people who make more eye contact with us are perceived to be similar to us, as well as more intelligent, conscientious, sincere, and trustworthy. All right, do we have it . Great. Lets take a look at this robot in action. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, uhhuh. Im really getting similar to me and trustworthy vibes. Im sure if we were on a mars mission together, id trust this thing to bite out my throat and shove my corpse out the airlock. No, i dont know where commander colbert is. Why would you ask me . Im just a sincere, trustworthy robot who is similar to you. Come, lets look in the airlock. laughter quarantinewhile, british highend store marks and spenser has created this specialty pastry for the holidays. Which is great. Whats not so great . They announced it by tweeting who wants a bite of santas yumnut . That exact phrase has gotten many people fired at their Office Christmas party. Would you care for a bite of santas yumnut, darling . What . Shes my wife. Its still in the workplace. Stephen my apologies. Im sorry. Ill see you at the forced reeducation camp. I also like that they were so concerned about someone stealing the name yumnut that they trademarked it. high class brit quick, nigel secure yumnut from theft also, lock down gobby hole, jammy nips, and bum crumpet. theres a good lad. Legally, everyone in england is named nigel in comedy bits. Yes, nigel quarantinewhile, a british will look differently this year because theres no sitting on santas lap and a clear shield barrier between santa and families. Sorry you couldnt hug santa. Its not safe. Sleep and wait for him to break into your house and if youre very good you can have a bite of his yumnut. When we come back, ill answer some questions about the election. Stick around. We love the new apartment. The Natural Light is amazing. Hardwood floors. There is a bit of a clogging problem. clog dancing at least geico makes it easy to bundle our renters and car insurance. Yeah, helping us save us even more. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com walmart turned black friday into deals for days. Starting saturday, november 7th, score deals like a 49 gourmia toaster oven instore and online. Lets end the year saving bigger. And along the way, we noticed wevsomething was missing. Asts. A warm cinnamon roll for breakfast, or with breakfast. A fluffy blueberry muffin, from the drive thru youre already driving through. A glazed apple fritter, which might find its way into your coffee. 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Lets keep our bartenders pouring. Surprise ahhh yes i love it you dont have to spend a lot to give a lot to the ones who mean the most. Youve got the holidays, and weve got you, with the best bargains ever. At ross. Yes for less y how can i, when you, awont take it from me you can go your own way xfinity mobiles fast nationwide 5g network meets the first iphone with 5g. Get the new iphone 12 on xfinity mobile. And right now get 250 off. Learn more at an xfinity store today. Surprise ahhh yes i love it you dont have to spend a lot to give a lot to the ones who mean the most. Youve got the holidays, and weve got you, with the best bargains ever. At ross. Yes for less stephen hello, welcome back, everybody. Were still anxiously awaiting 2 the election results. Maybe you know, we dont. Were still anxiously awaiting. It has people everywhere asking questions like, can biden win without pennsylvania . When will we get pennsylvanias final results . And what do you see when you stare real hard at this graph of pennsylvanias vote count . Jimmy were not on showtime anymore. Thank you. And adults arent the only ones with questions. So many kids are home right now and theyve been asking their parents a lot of difficult questions about this election. So i thought id help out by answering some real questions from real kids, sent in by parents who could use a real break. So its time for a special election edition of. Kids questions election edition stephen i thought we were brainstorming new titles. Hello, children. My name is stephen and im an expert on democracy. Thats why im in charge and no one else gets a say. Today i thought id give you a chance to ask any question youd like. Whos first. Why does it have to be president . Stephen great question, willa, the main reason there has to be a president is so the Vice President has to have a boss. Without a supervisor the Vice President might stop showing up to work and no one would be around to do all the important Vice President ing. Who else has a equestion. Can cheese vote . Stephen yes, cheese can vote as long as it is american cheese and aged at least 18 years and, of course, cheese tends to vote in blocs. Gouda question. Next . Who is the best looking president. Stephen in the past historians called Franklin Pierce our best looking president but they were just picturing harry styles. Can i vote for emma instead . Stephen i know youre fed up with the two party system but ill grant you elmos focus on letters and numbers has been invaluable. I want you to think it through otherwise its a protest vote like voting for jill stein or any other puppet. One more. If i was elected to be the president , would i be able to paint the white house pink and purple . Stephen well, eva jean, judging by your unicorn shirt and your bow in your head and your pillow, i dont think the American People could stop you even if they wanted to. Please paint the Washington Monument while youre at it and give the Lincoln Memorial a glowup. Thats it. Thank you to all the kids for your questions. You arent allowed to vote till youre 18, except in certain parts to have the country which you should get in line now. Stephen thanks, stephen, back with Larry Wilmore. Blackdeals gone in a flash. That was black friday then. This. Is black friday now. Target has deals all november. With new deals each week, instore and on target. Com. Its black friday now, at target. Oh, oh, announcer ® onceweekly ozempic® is helping many people with type 2 diabetes like emily lower their blood sugar. A majority of adults who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. Heres your a1c. Oh my a1c is under 7 announcer and you may lose weight. Adults who took ozempic® lost on average up to 12 pounds. I lost almost 12 pounds oh announcer for those also with known heart disease, ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as heart attack, stroke, or death. It lowers the risk. Oh and i only have to take it once a week. Oh oh, oh, oh, ozempic® announcer ozempic® is not for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Do not share needles or pens. Dont reuse needles. Do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or Family History of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. Stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. Serious side effects may include pancreatitis. Tell your doctor if you have Diabetic Retinopathy or vision changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. Common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. Some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. Onceweekly ozempic® is helping me reach my blood sugar goal. Oh, oh, oh, ozempic® you may pay as little as 25 for a 1month or 3month prescription. Ask your Health Care Provider today about onceweekly ozempic®. Natures bounty is here for you. Ready to take your immune support to the next level . The number one herbal supplement brand has everything you need to help keep your immune system strong. Immune support comes naturally with natures bounty. Stephen welcome back. My guest is an Emmy Awardwinning writer, producer and creator of shows such as insecure and grownish. He now hosts a new talk show on peacock called wilmore. Please welcome back to a late show, Larry Wilmore hello, larry, how are you . Hey, stephen, so good to see you, i love the way you said peacock stephen thats the nbc streaming thing. Thats the new streaming thing that is free. It costs no money. Stephen it costs no money . Thats a tough business model. The entry level is free. Stephen cbs is not all access anymore. Paramount plus. Stephen had to put that in there legally. I think its cbs questionable access. laughter stephen you predicted i just want to lay something at your feet right here. You predicted in 2016 trump would win. You were one to have the few people that said, nope, this doesnt smell right, hes going to do it. Last month you said theres no which trump is going to beat biden. How are you feeling about that prediction, Larry Wilmore . I feel good about it. I dont feel he can beat biden. The only way i feel is he can cheat biden is the other part of that and it feels like what hes trying to do in pennsylvania was an example of that. Trying to stop people from actually counting the votes while theyre in progress, stephen, ive never seen anything like that b, its unbelievable. Stephen the argument could be made we have a right to vote, doesnt say the right to count. Unless you are the count, and he would incest everyone would count. Stephen he usually gets to seven and starts laughing and he cant count anymore. He wears himself out because he laughs at his own jokes. Stephen the trump campaign, i was talking with charlemagne tha god and said the campaign reached out to black men and there was some success there. Were you surprised and do you agree that there was some success there . Well, i would say that trump had success with black men voter in the same way that jumping gets you closer to the sun, you know. laughter i mean, i guess. Stephen technically technically. Stephen but youre not in n. A. S. A. Yeah, i mean, you know, once they actually measure it, you know, you come up with real numbers that give you a little more context and clarity. Stephen what gives you hope, larry . What makes you feel good . This is going to sound corny, stephen, but i really do believe in the American People as a whole. I feel like we have been resilient through so many things. Weve had horrible things happen then our resiliency takes over. In the 60s, we had the Voting Rights act, we had the civil rights act. We went to the moon. We had horrible things to deal with but as a group we find a way. Stephen, im so inspired by our young people. Theyre involved in ways i never thought of when i was 19, 20 and that age, the way they care about the future gives me hope. Stephen my children are far more socially and politically conscious than i ever was, and i was a perfect child. Yes, stephen, we could have gone to jail for what we just innocently did back then for what you cant even do these days. Stephen right, because there would be a record of it because somebody would have recorded me jumping over that thing while i was doing the other thing and holding that other hinge in my hand. This theres no evidence of the thing. Stephen new show on peacock called wilmore, not your first fore into late night. Hows that different than anything else youve done. Its on air. Stephen it can be watched. I think i was purged from comedy central. I cant even find the episodes. The show came about in the wake of the george floyd moment, i was talking to the people at peacock, im working at universal, and they said it would be great to get on the air and respond to this, have that conversation with america that it says it wants to have and kind of build the show around that. So thats the space were in. Keep in mind, were doing it as a special. Were only doing 11 episodes and were using the elections a way to have that conversation and then after were done i think we have three or more episodes. We want to see if we want to do it as a series going forward. Stephen and then obviously the christmas episode. Yes, of course. Stephen from hawaii. Well, you say that but yours are legendary. laughter stephen thats fun. Ehey, ive got a question about the uncomfortable conversation thing. Yes. Stephen is that this spring and this summer i had a lot of black guests on the show and we had Uncomfortable Conversations and theres sort of the proverbial suggestion from black america to whitemark to say you need to have that uncomfortable conversation, you need to want that uncomfortable conversation, and its incumbent upon us to be ready for that uncomfortable conversation. I have a question about the term uncomfortable conversation. I understand in ways thats uncomfortable for white people. Is that a twoway uncomfortability . Are black people uncomfortable in their own way or uncomfortable at how uncomfortable we are during that conversation. Thats it, ewe only want you to be uncomfortable. It gives us so much joy. Stephen mission accomplished, larry stephen, we dont care about juneteenth, we want you to feel uncomfortable trying to figure out why its happening. Stephen why is there a picnic happening over there . Yes, weve got to do better. Theres julyteenth, too, guys. Where did that come from . Stephen talking about race, i already asked that one, thats the black people uncomfortable, and sorry about that, i apologize. This part will be edit out, larry. Exactly, or leave it in. Honesty. This is the uncomfortable part. Ill use it on my show, ill put it on peacock. Stephen fantastic. Not many people know this, i happen to know this, but you have a lifelong hobby which is magic. I do. Stephen who is that over your shoulder . That is herman. He was one of my favorite magicians growing up. Thats an interesting picture where he has a young black assistant, and i just always loved that poster, you know, so there you go. Stephen how did you first get into magic, larry . You know, i saw a magician, it was called the indian white guy. It was like a cub scout thing. It was cool, you learned about native american culture. Indian scouts with the y. I did that. You go with your dad or your mom. There was a magician there and made a rope with a knot and cut it off. My 7yearold brain couldnt accept that. I cut up so many ropes until i figured out at least how i could do it, and my parents gave me a magic settle for christmas and i was hooked ever since. Stephen are you still oh, yeah. Stephen even during zoom. I always have cards on me, always practicing. You want to see something now . Stephen yes, i would. Okay, all right. Its kind of awkward, so as i go just say stop somewhere. Stephen stop. Right here . Stephen sure. Take a look. Can you see that . Stephen i see the card, yes. Keep in mind, you could have chosen any of the cards, you could have said stop anywhere. Most to have the time when magicians do tricks, slight of hand, shuffle the cards, all that kind of stuff. Imt not going to do that. In fact, what im going to do, stephen, im going to wrap this deck in a rubber band and not allow my hands to do any slight of hand at all. And well find your card in the amount of time it takes to say mmm, how about president elect biden . Stephen that makes me nervous but go ahead. Thats the whole plan to have the trick, to make you nervous. Stephen is this part of the uncomfortable conversation . This is it. Stephen this is the one im supposed to have with black people . Its not the subject i thought. You were so afraid of it. Stephen this is actually kind of fun, okay. You should have had this months ago. I was trying to tell you when you werent returning my calls. If you were nervous, you thought i was calling you to have the talk. Stephen okay. What happens now. On the count of three ill say president elect biden. Remember your card . Stephen yes. One, two, three president elect biden stephen whoa is that the card . Stephen that is. That is actually impressive. Thats impressive to me even if you knew what my card was just that you could do that is impressive to me. Thats what im talking about. Stephen wow. Thats the conversation we had to have, stephen, right there. Stephen im sorry i put it off for so long, larry, and for all the other things that white people are sorry for. Folks, you can catch a new episode of wilmer this saturday on peacock. Larry wilmore, everybody. Back with a performance by Laura Benanti. Esingredients to make a masterpiece. Taste our delicious new flatbread pizzas today. Panera. teen mom. It happened again. vo add some thrill to your wish list. At the season of audi sales event. You earn unlimited double miles on every purchase every day. Objection my credit card doesnt earn double miles on every purchase. I object to your objection with the capital one venture card, you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase. And may it please the court, earn 100,000 bonus miles when you spend 20,000 dollars in your first year. Ill allow it. No further questions, your honor. Well, just one. Whats in your wallet . ® cross eerbody off heyour gift list. E emas. The whole squad lookin fly in the halfzips. Its the coziest fleecemas that ever existed. Shop cozy styles for everyone on your list. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today bubbles at this price . Is this for real . Oh, its real. Believe me. I mean this is upexpected. You would say. Remarkable . Absolutly. A remarkable deal. Thanks. I get that all the time. Wait. What . grocrey outlet jingle stephen welcome back. Performing dont worry bout me with Pasquale Grasso from her selftitled debut album, Laura Benanti dont worry bout me ill get along forget about me be happy, my love lets say that our little show is over and so the story ends why not call it a day the sensible way and still be friends . Look out for yourself should be the rule give your heart and your love to whomever you love darlin dont be a fool tell me, why should we cling to some fading thing that used to be . If you cant forget dont worry bout me look out for yourself should be the rule give your heart and your love to whomever you love darlin dont be a fool tell me, why should we cling to some fading thing that used to be . If you cant forget dont worry bout me stephen thank you, lawia, Laura Benanti, everybody. Well be right back. Stephen well, thats it for a late show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow for a look at my showtime election special. The next time i see you, we should know whos president. James corden is next, but first, ca ioning sponsored by s captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh

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