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It will go away like things go away announcer its a late show, live with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trumpsters. Steve welcomes governor Chris Christie and musical guest gregory porter, featuring live jon batiste and stay homin, and now live from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome one and all. Monsieur and madame, mr. And mrs. America, and all the ships at sea to a late show. Im still your host Stephen Colbert, and im coming to you live after the final night of the Republican National convention. And i dont know whats going on, but ive got chills, ive got nausea. Its either the onset of covid or seeing 1,500 people with no social distancing, no masks or testing packed on to the south lawn of the white house. I knew republicans like voter suppression, i didnt know they kicked it up to voter extinction. Now, on the plus side, that was a bigger crowd than he got for the inauguration. Lets get to the predictable conclusion of dramatic music fry em like bacon. roaring be best. Im mike pence. Theres something wrong with our president dramatic music i dont feel so good, dad. Im okay don, jr. Almost snorted me. Stephen i am going to miss, i am going to miss that little opener. Oh what an emotional roller coaster we have been on this week. We laughed, we cried, we threw up a little in our mouths. I didnt watch any of last nights convention. That really was the high light of the week. Tonight, i also did not watch most of it. I did watch donald trump. He is the president , and at this point the entire Republican Party, but before they released the kraken, and remember that is a whole lot of kraken. Trump got an intro from white house senior daughter and American Girl doll just following orders, ivanka trump. Ivanka touted some of the accomplishments shed helped her dad achieve. Ive worked alongside the president as he signed into law nine pieces of legislation to combat the evil of human trafficking. Stephen and then i watched him tell one of those human traffickers that he wished her well. Ivanka summed up the last four years with a simple message. Washington has not changed donald trump. Donald trump has changed washington. Stephen shes right, actually, and thats weird. You see, the presidency proverbially changes the occupant, it matures them, it ages them. Look what eight years in the white house did to barack obama. The guy on the left looks like he should be persuading the guy on the right to give up his car keys. Youre going to like it at the home, they have golf carts. But trump doesnt do any of the stuff that matures or ages you like worrying about the American Team or feeling responsibility for protecting them or evidently anything else because just look at his 2016 and 2020 photos side by side. I guess its true what they say, taxidermy dont cracksadermy. Quick side note. In addition to being the final night to have the r. N. C. , this is the last episode of the fifth season of the late show with Stephen Colbert. Its been a great five years, and the last five months in particular have been an amazing ten years. And over the last 964 episodes, ive changed just laughs laughter just a bit. It looks like i drank from the wrong grail. laughter whispers help the last four years are like trump is dorian gray and were the picture then trump finally made his grand entrance flanked by melania in a green screen dress. That is so generous of her to provide the blank canvas, you can put anything in there. An im with stupid tshirt, joe biden, stormy daniels, the coronavirus, black lives matter, whatever i really dont care, do you . Then it came time for the president to do his official duty i profoundly accept this nomination for president of the United States. cheers and applause snap, snap stephen did i hear profoundly accept . I profoundly accept. That is a super weird choice of adverb. as trump i searchingly thank you. I will tightly work hard to abdominally earn it. Then trump reminisced about the white house of white houses past. President Abraham Lincoln looked out these very windows upon a halfcompleted washington monument. Franklin Delano Roosevelt welcomed winston churchill, and, just inside, they set our people on the course to victory in the second world war. Stephen as trump and right here at this podium, one president broke the law and used the peoples house for a grotesque campaign event. So much history. He couldnt help but make a pandemic promise. And well produce a vaccine before the end of year, or maybe even sooner. Stephen maybe even sooner, its all depending on the results of my pillow guys experiment with ginger root and black market four loko, okay. Pour it through the pillow, it gets the impurities out. He spent most of the time taking pokes at his opponent. Joe biden is not a savior of americas soul. He is the destroyer of americas jobs and if given the chance, he will be the destroyer of american greatness. Stephen wow, for a sleepy guy who doesnt leave his basement, bidey is pretty productive. Did i say bidey . Yes. Stephen laughs bidey, sure. Thats the power couple of spiderman and biden. Bidey dont point at your watch i know, Chris Christies in the wings. Oh, no laughter offscreen chatter we cant cut into the governor no, i know what youre saying, we have to get off so corden can come on or Something Like that. Now youre wasting time. Point at your watch again, big shot. laughter okay, its late . These people are wide awake. laughter the point is, i may not agree with his destroying american greatness policy, but you have to admire bidens hustle. Improbably and inaccurately trump boasted about his record on fighting covid. Thanks to advances, we have pioneered the fatality rate stephen yes, pioneered because this many people havent died since covered wagons, these people down here in the high risk rows know what im talking about, right . Trump had some weird praise for the american spirit. Americans are steeling their spines, grit in their souls and fire in their hearts. Stephen quick note, if you are experiencing soul grit or fire heart, please get tested for coronavirus. And he spoke in hushed and boring tones about americas founders. These pioneers didnt have money, they didnt have fame. Stephen as trump didnt need no credit card to ride this train. Its strong and its sudden and cruel sometimes, but if i just save your life, its a problem. laughter trump paid tribute to americas past greats. Legends were born. Wyatt earp, annie oakley, Davy Crockett and buffalo bill. Stephen he had a woman in a well, buffalo bill. She put the lotion in the basket, buffalo bill, great american, wonderful tailor. He made this suit and my face. Amid all the lies, he did get one thing right. Americans are exhausted. Stephen yes, we are after listening to you for 70 minutes, but at last its over. After four nights of bone chilling nonsense from americas top trash bags. Lets reflect on big moments in our please, never again from our segment look back at anger. There are still so many Unanswered Questions around what we witnessed this week, like how much coke did don, jr. Do before his speech on monday . Some say a lot. Others say, much more. Well, yesterday don, jr. Appeared on tv to deny that he was on cocaine which is one of the sure signs youre on cocaine. Junior i saw, the main concern was why were his eyes so glassy . They started doing this trending thing donald trump, jr. Is on cocaine when they cant attack the delivery or the substance, they have to attack something. Stephen don, based on your delivery i would say youre good at attacking the substance. But all jokes aside and many jokes ahead. Junior did have an excuse for his appearance. Well, i guess there must have been something with the lighting. laughs yes, the lighting. I think it was reflecting off the mirror under your nose. Blaming the lighting is one of the least plausible excuses ive ever heard, because no one else looked like they were trying to snort their way to a peruvian citizenship. laughter we all saw what we saw. I just want you to know that the first step is admitting that you have a lighting problem. Now, one of the highest low lights of the second night was when trump staged a tv friendly naturalization ceremony at the white house. Good for the new citizens, glad to have you, but its completely out of character for trump to welcome immigrants. Thats like Mahatma Gandhi entering a hot dog eating contest. But, theres one problem with the ceremony and its several of them. Its probably a violation of the hatch act and we just found out that the immigrants in trumps ceremony didnt know theyd appear at the r. N. C. So they were conned by donald trump. Congratulations. Now youre americans. As far as i can tell the theme to have the r. N. C. Has been for joe biden plan to come to the suburbs to hire m. S. 13 as your baby sitter to teach your children that George Washington was vegan, its spooky stuff. There was one particular video that was especially frightening. Ive seen a lot of moderates, a lot of people changing over because of everything thats been happening. This is a taste of bidens america, the rioting, the crime. Freedom is at stake now and this is going to be the most important election of our lifetime. Stephen wow, that was a frightening image. Luckily, its not from america because the r. N. C. Video showing rioters is actually showing spain. I believe its the small catalan town of kenotha, withconthin. Maybe this wasnt a blunder. Maybe this was an intentional choice by the Trump Campaign that would have explained their latest attack ad. Joe biden wants to lead our country, but joe biden wants chaos on american streets, football with no tackling. The worlds tiniest portions, and say hello to your new and upstairs neighbor. If joe biden has his way, your burger will drive through you. Joe biden doesnt know his time is up, because he melted all the clocks. Joe biden wrong for america, incorrecto para espana. Stephen ole laughter should i kill time . Do you want to point at your watch again, no . laughter we have a great show tonight. My guest is former new jersey governor Chris Christie. Stick around. Unitedhealthcare medicare plans offer so much more. So you can find just the right plan for you. Like the visit a doctor anywhere our rv takes us plan. The zero copays means more money for rumba lessons plan. And the visit my doctor while eating pancakes plan. Unitedhealthcare is the 1 medicare plan provider, so youre sure to find the right plan for you. Including the only plans with the aarp name. Get medicare with more. When you order a hotandjuicy quarter pounder. A normal amount of napkins, just wont do. Ba da ba ba ba [gas splashing in tank] [spoon clinking in mug] the Bulleit Frontier Fund is making a commitment to help bartenders keep doing what they do best. Lets keep our bartenders pouring. Im a sustainability science researcher at amazon. Climate change is the fight of our generation. The biggest obstacle right now is that were running out of time. Amazon now has a goal to be net zero carbon by 2040. We dont really know exactly how we are going to get there. Its going to be pretty hard. But one way or another were going to reduce our Carbon Footprint to net zero. I want my son to know that i tried my hardest to make things better for his generation. Guys guys safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Whether you need dinner for two. Safe drivers do save 40 . Or a room with a view. Get all your petsmart essentias carried right to your door with sameday delivery powered by doordash. Try it for free at petsmart. Com everybody felt fine. But now im super sick. Everyone is sick. I just wish we had been more careful. It would have been easier than this. So wear a mask. Do what you can outside. Stay six feet apart. Because some things you just cant take back. Do your part to lower the risk. Stephen hey, everybody welcome back to a late show. Lets check on our friend mr. Jon batiste. Hello, jon. Jon hello, stephen. I love you. How you feeling . Stephen let me turn you up here. I had you down. Sorry about that. Jon yes, yes. Stephen good to see you. Jon yes. Hey. Stephen hows everybody back home . I know youve got family back there. How are they doing in laura . Jon you know, we are blessed and im thankful but its really hard to watch how west louisiana, east texas got pummeled. I grew up there playing basketball, going to see family and friends. We have been through this before, but every single time, especially when its a category 4 and 5, its terrifying. Stephen well, listen, please, im glad your familys okay. Give my love to them and your friends down there and were about to take a break but over these two weeks lets talk about ways we can help when we come back. Jon oh, absolutely, were working on it. Stephen play us out with something hopeful, please. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen i like it. Jon a little humanism. Stephen thank you, jon. Jon batiste, everybody. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen well, ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is an abc news contributor who served as the 55th governor of new jersey, please welcome back to a late show, governor Chris Christie. Governor, welcome back to the show. Happy to be back, stephen. Difficult circumstances, but its good to see you again. Stephen well, listen, you know, when they said, hey, do you want to have Chris Christie on for the convention, i said, yeah, we always have a good time together. We always you know, theres some playful banter and some gentle disagreements over some fairly important things, but then i found out, literally, i just found out yesterday or today that youre helping the Trump Campaign. Are you helping him prep for these debates . Im sorry. I cant hear the governor. Ive lost audio on the governor. Hello, can you hear me now, stephen . Stephen i can hear you now. No, i havent done any of that yet, stephen. Stephen but are you going to . If asked, i will go in there and try to do the best i can to lend him some of my experience from before. Stephen please dont. laughter please dont because this is the fourth time you have been on the show, i think, is that right, fourth time, and, you know, every time you come on, we have a conversation, chris, my exec goes, you like him. I said its possible i might someday. Hes a great guest and its possible i might like him someday and this is seriously endangering the possibility that could happen. I have hope i could like you someday. And the feeling is mutual. I feel like i could like you someday, too. Stephen but this is your last chance now to get off the trump train, okay. Get off right now before this interview, before he loses and the truth and Reconciliation Commission drags you away to the woketopia where you have to confess your crimes. Knock wood that hes not president anymore, who knows whats going to happen. After the last four years, with where the country is now, with the dead people, where the economy is now, what he has done to International Standings and children on the border, why would you want to chain yourself to this anchor made of manure . Well, im not even going to go into responding to all of the different adjectives you used there, but i will say this, im not chained to anybody, but what i am chained to are a set of ideas that i believe are right for the country versus ideas i think are wrong for the country. Stephen what are those ideas . I believe in more conservative ideas. Stephen hes not a conservative. Hes not a conservative. Hes a trumpian. You know the republican does not exist anymore. Jared kushner said himself this is a hostile takeover and its complete. There are still principles of the Republican Party that republicans stand for. Stephen name one. Smaller government, lower taxes. Stephen spending, never had more spending. Well, of course we never had more spending now, stephen, because weve had to and i think you and i would both agree on that. In the face of the covid crisis, i dont think any of us should be wore worrying about what were suspending to support those who lost their jobs or rebuild or keep businesses open. Stephen he did not reduce the size to have the budget one year. But, it would be stephen but, but, but. No, let me finish. Its significantly less than it would be under joe biden and the democrats. Stephen well, thats borrowing a boogie man from tomorrow to make your point about what happened the last four years. Its not borrowing because elections are always about tomorrow, stephen. The elections are never about yesterday, theyre always about tomorrow. Stephen his abuse of power doesnt bother you at all . Listen, there have been things that have happened over the course of the last four years, and ive said this on your show, that i dont agree with and if i were president i would have done very differently, but now im down to a choice, im down to a choice between donald trump and republican principles or joe biden and progressive principles, and i agree more with conservative principles than progressive ones so thats the way i go. Stephen a cbs poll shows 57 of republicans find 180,000 dead americans from covid acceptable. Are you one of those 57 . No, i dont find any deaths from covid acceptable. I understand that some were unavoidable. Stephen some . Sure. I mean, listen, stephen, when you have a crisis like this, a Communicable Disease thats as aggressive and unknown as this one was, especially in the beginning, when you look at what happened in seattle, the elderly, it turns out, we have no way of knowing this til we saw the experience, but the elderly turned out to be the most Vulnerable People to this disease, so i think its unavoidable that some deaths were going to occur. But i dont find any number of deaths acceptable. Stephen but by election day it will be about a quarter of a million, by the end of the year 300,000. No other country comes close to that by multiple factors. This is a failure of historic proportions. Well, i think there have been a number of reasons for that and i think the first is that we didnt start off as aggressively as we should have and i said that. I wrote columns for the Washington Post mid march. Stephen i got your april op ed and mid march saying we need masks and testing. Right. Stephen twice you told me on the show that you would be a better president than donald trump, and i believe you based upon these opeds. Does it disgust you to see this level of death which you know was avoidable . Well, listen, as i said before, i dont think any number of increased deaths are acceptable. I would have closed down the sports leagues faster than it was done, i would have closed down all the big Public Events sooner than it was done. I would have done things differently and i think it would have avoided more deaths but, in the end, there are a certain amount of deaths associated with this disease thats unavoidable. Stephen but its not 180,000. Theres no other country thats close. I dont know the number, but there was some amount that was unavoidable. At the end now everyone gets judged on the job you did and on the vision you have for what youre going to do, and everybody is going to get judged on that and thats the way this election will be determined. Stephen how would you judge the president on his job with covid, pass or fail . I dont think he can give anybody a passfail grade on this, stephen. Stephen okay, a, b, c, d, f . I think there are some things he did well. I think getting ventilators manufactured in this country so no one had to go without a ventilator, there is no shortage of p. P. E. That was done well. I think the Paycheck Protection Program have saved a lot of businesses across this country and all the other economic steps that were taken have lessened the impact of what this was going to be this our country, when you think about shutting down our economy for two months almost completely some i think there are some things hes done well, and i think the thing he did poorly was he underreacted in the beginning. Ive gone on the record on this. You see it in front of you. I was writing on the Washington Post in early march that we should have closed things down, everyone should be Wearing Masks, social distancing, no large gatherings and i was saying that in march. I was called an alarmist by some. Turns out i was right about that. I think in the end he didnt do as well as he should have. Stephen he did that into the summer. He mocked the wearing of masks. He still said it would just go away. He had rallies. How can you not say that that is not a colossal failure . What im saying is that i dont agree with you saying into mid supper because by airplane we had the entire economy of the country shut down. Stephen but he did not change how he was treating the idea of the basics you should do like wear masks and stay away from each other. Also dr. Fauci said in the beginning and c. D. C. Said in the beginning that Wearing Masks would not help. Everybody was learning about this disease over a period of time. Stephen fauci changed that by the end of march and trump kept mocking it into june. But the instructions he gave to everybody thereafter as part of them closing down the country was including Wearing Masks when you left the house. Now, listen stephen we have to take a quick break. We can continue this when we come back, but well be back with more governor Chris Christie. Thanks for being here. Thank you, stephen. Up at 2 00am again . Tonight, try pure zzzs all night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. Go go go go go go go on a real vacation. Visit go rving. Com or your nearest rv dealer. My psoriasis. Cosentyx works on all of this. Cosentyx treats the multiple symptoms of Psoriatic Arthritis to help you look and feel better. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Watch me learn more at cosentyx. Com. And your friend says they dont want fries. Get them the fries. Or else, your fries. Will be their fries. Ba da ba ba ba who knows where that button is . I dont have silent. Everyone does right up here. It happens to all of us. We buy a new home, and we turn into our parents. What i do is help new homeowners overcome this. What is that, an adjustable spanner . Good choice, steve. Okay, dont forget youre not assisting him. You hired him. If you have nowhere to sit, you have too many. Who else reads books about submarines . My dad. Yeah. Oh, those are progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Look at that. Your shoulder seems to be healing nicely. Well, dr. Farrell, it feels really good. Thats good. And. Im sorry. Baby, dont touch that. I dont want you to play with that. singing twinkle, twinkle little star. How i wonder what you are. still singing up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Im so glad that your shoulder is feeling better. But, how are you doing . Im hanging in there. Schedule a video visit with your doctor. And get quality care with no copay. Kaiser permanente. Thrive. Stephen okay. Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Were talking to governor Chris Christie. Governor, when last we were together, we were disagreeing over whether donald trump would actually embody the principles of republican governance you seem to espouse. Tell me whats so terrifying about joe biden. Terrifying about joe biden is a hard sentence to sell, its joe biden, for petes sake. Let me start off by saying ive known joe biden for 35 years and i like him, so im not terrified by the person joe biden, but i think the Democratic Party has moved so far to the left, Stephen Stephen so far to the left that they nominated joe biden . There were people further to the left than joe biden like everybody else. Now joe biden has signed on with those left wing principles to be able to get the nomination. Stephen maybe. And, so, i understand he wanted to win the nomination and i understand how you do that to try to win the nomination, but i think the party has moved much too far left for me, stephen, and what terrifies me is not joe biden himself but joe biden in combination with a Democratic House and a Democratic Senate that i think could really hurt the countrys economy and hurt the countrys approach to the way we do business here. Stephen hes rejected medicare for all, hes adopting parts of the Green New Deal but wont embrace it. Be more specific on how joe biden will chop down the tree of our economy. A 4 trillion tax increase is a problem, increased revenue state that cost as lot of money and will be injurious to our ability to create jobs, and i dont believe him on the Green New Deal. I believe him on medicaid for all but not the Green New Deal. I think he will be especially with a Democratic House and senate that Green New Deal will be shoved on him and eventually he will sign it. Stephen the last three years of the Obama Administration the economy grew fast than the first three years of the trump administration. You know that. Were talking about two very different things, though. Obama was not proposing some of the things being proposed now. Whats being proposed now is to the left of where barack obama was and to the left of where barack obama was willing to go, stephen. So, you know, thats part of my concern about this. This is not Barack Obamas Democratic Party. Stephen does it bother you that trump lies about things like ill protect coverage for preexisting conditions while at the same time theyre in court trying to take that away. Is that offputting to you at all, considering at the heart of it is taking away healthcare from people. Separate two things. Theyre in court fighting against obamacare. Stephen including pre existing conditions. They said if they would win they would pass a stand alone bill protecting preexisting conditions. Stephen that idea has nothing behind it. There continues to be a fight over obamacare and until the fight is resolved, you wouldnt need to put in a separate bill on preexisting conditions because its covered under obamacare. The only reason you would need to do that is if you got rid of obamacare. And i think if they did, i think thats unlikely given Previous Supreme Court hearings, but if they did i believe the republicans would pass a pre existing condition bill. Stephen governor, i would love to talk to you again sometime, but i do need to make one last pitch, one last pitch please dont help this man get reelected. Will that affect my appearance on the show . Stephen well see. If i find out you got that man elected you will be on the bubble. Im the only republican that will come on your show stephen trey gowdy was on this week trey gowdy isnt like me. You dont have fun with trey gowdy. I saw that. That wasnt fun. You and i have fun together. Stephen youre overestimating what i think fun is. I think when we were drinking tequila a couple of times that was fun. Stephen i did not know you were going to help trump get reelected back then. Got to go. Got to go. Got to go pleasantly talk about steve bannon being arrested. Got to go. Chris christie, friend of Steve Bannons everybody. Come back for the smile file. Will you visit steve . Prison . I wouldnt visit steve if he lived next door to me, hes a bum. Come on in, were open. 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Youll get an extra 15 on top of what geico could already save you. Can i call you back . You know your fathers learning to make sourdough. Even though he knows i prefer rye theres never been a better time to save with geico. Switch by october seventh for an extra 15 on car and motorcycle insurance. Hey, next time lets do a face call stephen welcome back. You know what, folks . After suffering through a day of whatever this was of the Republican National convention, we deserve a refreshing dip into the smile file. Last week we got a little bit of news that couldnt help but bring a little grin to my bin concerning former white house adviser steve bannon. Bannon was arrested on fraud charges and a frame of mind the same day. Heres the courtroom sketch. Ahas take on me video did not age well. Bannons arrest means that each of the three people who led trumps 2016 campaign has now faced criminal charges. Just another way to differentiate themselves from the democrats whos Convention Theme was uniting america when republicans went with free cell block d. The alleged fraud that allegedly definitely happened was at a nonprofit dedicated to constructing trumps border wall called we build the wall and related charity we take your cash. This unusually profitable nonprofit raised 25 million from over 500,000 donors, in part because organizers promised they would not take a penny of compensation from these donations. Always a little suspicious when people tell you exactly what theyre not going to do. Your surgery is scheduled for monday, i am definitely not going to wait til you go under and carve a dong on your forehead. According to prosecutors, bannon took more than 1 million, mostly used to cover personal expenses. He and three cronies knew this was wrong because they routed payments from the campaign through a nonprofit and another Shell Company disguising them with fake invoices, seems suspicious especially since the invoices only had three items. Nothing to see here, not fraud, and fraud. One of the coconspirators brian used the boat he bought with illegally siphoned we build the wall funds to sail in the july 4th trump boat parade. as trump are you telling me all the voters who love me are drifters . They really are my people. I love you boaters choochoo bannon wasnt arrested at his home which is under a bridge where he asks his riddles three. Instead he was taken off the coast of westbrook, connecticut when aboard a megayacht owned by a chinese billionaire wanted on charges in beijing on charges of fraud, blackmail and bribery. And dont worry economically trump voters, trump was fighting the fight against the globalists to get your country back and the rooster fights. What a weird place to hide out. I know where theyll never look. Dr. Evils doom cruise. Blue man groups performing. Bannons arrest was a huge blow to we build the wall which apparently stopped accepting donations. The web site is still live, but when you hit the donate button, it said, and this is real, whoopsiedaisy, looks like something went completely wrong, but dont worry, it can happen to the best of us. Yes, but also to steve bannon. Oh. I think im having what the germans call a schadengasm. If we build the wall sounds familiar to you, i did a segment last week on how a section of wall was about to fall into the rio grande. You may not have seen it but we build the wall did. They sent out this email, Stephen Colbert lied on his show and said the wall you built is falling apart. First of all brian colfiggy, if that is your name, do not drag my name through the mud because that mud is filled with pieces of your wall. Second, i would like to point out there are three recognizable faces in your grifter email, two taken into federal custody. Ill give you a hint who isnt. Hes got two thumbs and hes live on cbs well be right back. Look limu someone out there needs help customizing their Car Insurance with liberty mutual, so they only pay for what they need. False alarm. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Sweetnsour, spicy buffalo, tangy bbq. Each mcnugget, a chance to diversify your sauce portfolio. Ba da ba ba ba my wife and daughter had been killed in an automobile crash, and lying in the bed were my two little boys. I couldnt have imagined what it wouldve been like if i didnt have insurance to cover them immediately and fully. Forty years later, one of those little boys, my son beau, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, given months to live. I cant fathom what would have happened if the Insurance Companies had the power to say, the last few months, youre on your own. 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Last week, joe biden said that no miracle is coming , but what joe doesnt seem to understand is that america is a nation of miracles. applause hey, everybody its the miracle guy. Guess what . Partys over, im not bailing you out of this one. Sure, i could turn microphones into fish or whatever, but this covid thing is tough. I tell you what i will do, im taking these fish because im hungry and i like em raw. Thats right, eats weird stuff. Got it get extra napkins when you order a hotandjuicy quarter pounder. A normal amount of napkins, just wont do. Ba da ba ba ba im a delivery Operations Manager in san diego, california. We were one of the first stations to pilot a fleet of electric vehicles. Were striving to deliver a package with zero emissions into the air. I feel really proud of the impact that has on the environment. We have two daughters and i want to do everything i can to protect the environment so hopefully they can have a great future. They will, but with accident forgiveness allstate wont raise your rates just because of an accident. Cut is that good . No you were talking about allstate and. I just. When i. Accident forgiveness from allstate. Click or call for a quote today. You either love it or you really love it. And introducing a new way to love ranch tangy restaurant inspired secret sauces. And introducing a new way to love ranch top down, the city riding with me been through the storm and the gritty do it for the mom pop on every block new day, sunshine on every block windows open, im yelling unity side by side with my community celebrate, lets have a jubilee its bigger than you and me theyve been there for us lets be there for them theyve been there for us for bathroom odors that linger try febreze small spaces. Just press firmly and it continuously eliminates odors in the air and on soft surfaces. For 45 days. Stephen welcome back. His new album, all rise, comes out tomorrow. Now performing revival, ladies and gentlemen, gregory porter. I try to run and i grow weary i try to walk and i grow faint oh, i long to soar on the wings like an eagle but i look down and im afraid im afraid but you lift me higher out of the fire out of the flames i lost the feeling you give me meaning again im singing revival, revival revival song, revival im singing revival revival song i try to find you lost my way walk in the darkness in search of day i followed your footsteps to the gates of the city i saw your face, oh im not afraid im not afraid oh, you lifted me higher out of the fire out of the flames i lost a feeling you give me meaning again oh, you lift me higher out of the fire out of the flames i lost a feeling you give me meaning again singing revival revival song im singing revival revival song im singing revival revival song oh, you give me meaning you give me meaning my revival oh, my revival i need a revival oh, whoa, oh revival oh, my revival stephen thank you, gregory well be right back. Stephen thats it for a late show. And that is the last show of our fifth season. Its been a great five years, thanks for watching. Well be back for year six in two weeks. Until then, wear a mask, wash your hands, stay safe. Vote. James corden is next, but first, lets say good night with some music from jon batiste and stay human. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh

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