Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

About it. Youll not only get whats written in the book but also exclusive outtakes. So visit audible and download john boltons book as sung by michael bolton. St its a late show with tonight justice is flynnnished. Plus, stephen welcomes jon stewart featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen lets it. Okay, lets do it. Thank you, thank you for your burst of energy. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Hey, do you guys remember Michael Flynn . Its been a long, strange saga, so let me catch you up. Jim . Previously on Michael Flynn Michael Flynn resigning after the shortest tenure ever in that post. Retired general Michael Flynn pleaded guilty today to lying to the f. B. I. Flynns attorneys tonight filing a motion to withdraw his guilty plea. The other side of the Michael Flynn story, the judge proceed with possible prosecution. Dont you ever go after my bleep husband and now tonights episode of Michael Flynn. Stephen welcome to Michael Flynn, where, just like every flynn, where, just like every prestige drama these days, were not afraid to kill off beloved, characters, because in this episode, were bumping off lady justice. This morning, a federal Appeals Court ordered the the judge to dismiss the criminal case against Michael Flynn. Well im sure he learned his lesson that rich, well connected people dont have to learn lessons. The order to dismiss the case without review is called a writ of mandamus, which is also the name of a poorly received harry potter courtroom novel. as harry potter your honor, expecto objectum this comes even though Michael Flynn already twice pleaded guilty of lying to the fbi. But, in the end, it was just a case of he said. That he did it, twice. Amd the whole thing feels fishy. The two judges who ruled in flynns favor have a history of seeing eyetoeye with the trump administration. And one of them, judge neomi rao, is a former white house official whom trump appointed to the Appeals Court last year. Look, im not saying shes in trumps pocket, but i was suspicious when she gave that ramp the death penalty. This ruling means the politicization of the Justice Department has sunk to ne lows. But i guess we should have expected that. After all, it is literally run by a low barr. So congratulations, Michael Flynn. Youre off the hook. You can now go back to your day job of peddling influence to foreign powers for cash. Turns out, trumps right and maybe too fast, because the coronavirus pandemic is nowhere near over. One sure sign im still broadcasting from my den with jackson say a prayer for the pretender. If anything, the plague is getting worse. Yesterday, the number of new cases grew to their highest levels since april. What . April come on we have to have made progress since april. I dont want to go back. Five months . 10 years . Its impossible to know. You have to cut me open and count the rings in my gut. Im well marbled. The covid spikes are especially bad in three states florida reported a new daily high of 5,508 cases. Texas reported more than 5,000 cases, its largest singleday total yet. And arizona added more than 3,600 cases, also a record. Okay, that sounds bad, but remember, in arizona, its a dry death. Dark humor stephen thanks, grimy. Things are so bad in the rest of the country that new york, new jersey and connecticut will now require certain outofstate travelers to quarantine upon arrival. So if youre from out of state and want to the tristate area is not alone. With cases surging in the united states, the European Union is prepared to block americans from entering. Well, fine europe. We didnt want to go there anyway. Instead of partying in ibitha, im partying in kanthathity. As i said, one of the biggest coronavirus surges is happening in arizona. And yesterday, they introduced another wellknown disease vector donald trump. The president was there to give a speech to a tightlypacked auditorium of supporters, most of whom werent wearing masks. The only way it wouldve been more risky is if hed revved up the crowd with a hepatitis cannon. The venue for trumps event was a megachurch called dream city. Its like a regular church, but you forgot that you have a test, youre naked, and youre at your cousin louis house. But its not his house, but it is his house . And then your teeth fall out. And though it was only a crowd of 3,000, trump was jazzed. There is something going on. You feel it, right . You feel the spirit. as trump oh, yeah that crowd was feeling the spirit. It was in the air spreading like a fever. I wouldnt be surprised if their lungs were filling up with spirit juice. Trump weighed in on pandemic nomenclature. Now remember, its called covid19 because its a combination of the words coronavirus, disease, and 2019, the year it was discovered. But trump apparently has not been briefed. Covid. Covid19. Covid. I said, what is the 19 . Covid19 . Some people cant explain what the 19 give me the covid19. Stephen yes, some people who head our government cant understand why its called covid19. Just like those same people exaent explain where the word brunch, comes from. Hes heard rumors that its a combination of breakfast nd unch. Trump compared himself to the radical democrats and made an interesting contrast. While their movement is based on hate, ours is based on love. Stephen yes, trumps all about love. L. Is for the way kim looks at me. O is for the only one gcs. V is vaddy putin. Hes so rootintootin e. Is even more dictators i do adore yes, lost was made for them and me. Badada. Im loving it we saved that incredible statue. You saw it last night. And restored peace and order to the streets. And these people fought back and the Law Enforcement was much tougher, much sharper. Much better. They really had no trouble handling them. It was like handling a baby for him, was just like a baby. Stephen note to self never hire trump as a babysitter. Little johnnys finally asleep. He was difficult, but dont worry, i handled your baby like a baby. With tear gas and flash grenades, and he cried like a dog. Thats 20 an hour. Plus, trump must have been happier with his arizona rally than his catastrophic rally in tulsa over the weekend. If you recall, he ended the evening with a shamble of shame, necktie dangling like somebody who tried to turn into the hulk but got bored halfway through. Pretty sad sight. But not if you Ask Donald Trump the lesser. Because last night, don jr. Posted a photo of his father to instagram with a reposted caption that read, the left is attempting to use it as a negative. Its not. This is the look far too many of us that have worked a night shift or a 48hour shift or with. Now, i know what youre thinking but, don jr. Actually has worked a 48hour shift, just not in a row. 48 hours is his yearly average. Don juniored on this is, been working my ass off for the american people, good oldfashion exhaustion, born of love; not for what your doing, but who your doing it for. Okay, donald trump has not been working his ass off for the american people. Or anyone else. How do i know . I can prove it. Heres his ass. Its all there. Last night, there were primary elections in new york, mississippi, virginia, north carolina, and kentucky. There were huge victories, shocking upsets, and nailbiting squeakers. One imagines. Because we dont really know a lot yet. Thanks to the coronavirus, most people voted by mail, so in some states it will be at least a week until winners are known. A week . Who the hell knows what shape the country will be in by then . We could all be trading our children for scrap metal and worshipping the spice lords. No ones going to stop siphoning fuel out of a hijacked tanker truck to say, oh, look, Glenn Anderson is kentuckys new comptroller this delay in the result does not bode well for november. Because you know that feeling you had between 9 00 p. M. And midnight on Election Night 2016 . Ge ready to be that drunk for five days. The point is, this election is not going to be a sprint. Its going to be a marathon, in that, before its over, youre going to poop your pants, and your nipples are going to bleed. Things are not looking good for trump, by the way. In a new poll conducted by the New York Times Siena College doritos locos crunch wrap the president is trailing joe biden by 14 points. That is joementum hes an unstoppable force, as long as he never leaves his basement. You stay down there, joe even if you win, you stay down there. Its going to take a few months to fumigate the burger farts out of the oval office one disturbing part of this poll was the fact that 14 of voters would vote for another candidate, would not vote, or did not know. Did not know . How the hell do you live through three and half years of donald trump and have no opinion . Whats that . Whos president . Donald trump . The guy from the apprentice . Well, i missed that. I was bingewatching a marathon of kevin spacey movies. What the group that really cant stand trump is collegeeducated white women. In 2016, Hillary Clinton a collegeeducated white woman won this group by just seven percentage point. Biden wins by 39 percentage points. as trump hey, women, what did i ever do to you . And before you answer, please sign this n. D. Biden s now trump among male voters, whites, older . But thats trumps base. Jimmy, can we get a picture of those voters . Ah, there they arent. Trump still has a chance because of the electoral college. Hahahahaha stephen a little late. A plitle late. But even the people who plan to vote for him dont like him. A texas republican, whos definitely voting for trump, put it like this part of you just feels icky voting for him. Yep, voting for trump is just a dirty feeling. Thats why, in texas, democrats get voting booths, and republicans get voting showers. Gaahhh, im dirty dirty. Think about the tax cuts. Im still dirty. Weve got a great show for tonight. Jon stewart is here thats right our old friend jon. Stick around. Again . Uh, fifteen minutes could save you 15 or more on Car Insurance. I think were gonna swap over to over seventyfive years of savings and service. What, were just gonna swap over . Yep. Pump the breaks on this, swap it over to that. Pump the breaks, and, uh, swap over . Thats right. Instead of all this that ive already . Yeah. What are we gonna do with these . Keep it at your desk, and save it for next time. Geico. Over 75 years of savings and service. 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Down the road, youll be grateful you bought a volkswagen today. Stephen welcome back, everybody. Well, folks, its official scientists have declared that 2020 is the longest year on record. And as we enter summer, i think its vital we reflect on what weve gone through and begin the conversation on where we want to end up at the conclusion of this tumultuous year, discover who we are. And since it is summer, i strongly believe that conversation requires a thorough examination into the history of the corn dog, americas summertime treat. Now, bear with me, because i stayed up all night thinking about this. Minnesota state fair, 1941, because this probably goes without saying, but before we can even get to corn dogs, we must address the pronto pup. Dog. Batter. Stick so simple, but also knocking did you just hear some knocking . Do we have knocking. Thats coming hold on. This is coming from the desk. Hold on. Oh, my god its jon stewart hello . Hello. Stephen jon oh, my god stephen . Stephen oh, my god, jon, hold on. Ill take you out of the desk. Stephen, thank you so much. Stephen oh, jon. Look, oh, johnny. Jon. First of all, thank you so much stephen, it was so dark in there, and i was so scared. I didnt know what happened. Stephen im sor sorry. Im kept the drawer closed for months to keep the coronavirus away from you. I was taking ketamine, and i got in the desk, and the next thing i know, i cant see anything. Stephen jon, weve talked about your khole. I know. Stephen you got you gotta watch it, man. Im trying. The down town, baby is not good for me. Stephen how are you . How are you weathering the covid quarantining with your lovely family . Well, everybody is doing agreement. Thank you so much for asking. And stephen im required to ask. It says shiask. Oh, is that stephen thank you for thanking me. You actually knew how i was doing because i talked to you yesterday and the day before that. Stephen and today for a little bit. And today for a little bit as well, but its good to have a more formal stephen sure, but as performers, nothing means anything unless an audience sees how you feel. Thats an excellent point and i didnt even know how i was doing until you just asked me just now. Stephen so, jon, how are you doing . Stephen, look at me. Im going full Christopher Lloyd in stephen i can beat you. What do you think . Stephen i can beat you. That is a lush mane we are rocking lush manes. Stephen whats up . Im going full einstein, but i think you might be going full shining. Stephen i might be going yahoo serious. You know what is the saddest thing about this, stephen. Stephen what . You know, as someone who is just really on the dividing line of of those that the c. D. C. Would say, put yourself in a hyperbarrack chamber and dont come out until 2025. Stephen i know. Im now considered old enough that this is a preexisting condition. I wanted to read up on it, so i was reading about the 1918 pandemic. Stephen right, because we havent gone through anything like this for 100 years. Thats exactly right. Stephen well, what did they do . So, heres whats crazy about it. The 1918 pandemic, the advice that they gave was dont try and stay inside and if you dont stay inside, wear a mask and socially distance. And i was like. Stephen organization no oh, no. I was hoping it would make me feel better. I thought there was going to be some oldtimey, like, drink apple sider and mercury, and that will be the elixir for your vitality. Stephen nobody. Its 102 years. We literally just been driving in circle s. Stephen i think there are a lot of nobel prizes that should be taken away. They havent made any improvement over the last 102 years, somebody screwed up. I feel like the last big improvement was during the black death, the plague, somebody went, should we be going to the bathroom in the drinking water, or is that something we should stop in . Stephen the biggest improvement in the last one years they came up with that novelty soap that bleeds when you when you get it all soapy, that you buy in the book of a comic book. That is that is that is and xray glasses that you can bay, and you can just see through peoples clothes. Gli know. That works. These but i thought i was going to find comfort in some sort of bizarreliant 80ed lack of understanding like, you could take a drill bit and try to put it in your head. Exact same advice. Stephen what do you think of the governments response . How do you think theyve handled it so far . Jon . Im linking s. O. S. To you in morse code. I dont know if you could stephen i thought we lost the satellite feed for a secretary. Dotdotdoot, dashdask hashdash, dot, dot, dot. I think theyre doing best they can. I think the politicization of just basic hygiene has been, i think, one of the more surprising aspects that stephen like wearing a mask, where a mask has become a political statement. The dont tread on me snake is the symbol of tirny. Stephen i will not wear your covid berka. Thats exactly right. Its the garb of the authoritarian. Its the swastika arm band. Its the brown shirt. And i keep thinking to myself, they wear those in operating rooms, right . They do that not because theyre listening to npr. Im pretty sure so they dont put their i just want to say to all those people like, so the next time you get an operation, you just say to the doctor you take that liberal bleep somewhere else. You come in here with no covering. You dont wash those hands. And you stick them in my open wound, because im an american. Stephen i want to tell you my Conspiracy Theory is this entire mask thing is all just a puton. Its a conspiracy by the altoids people, because when you put that mask on and you get a big blast of your own mask breath, youre like, this would knock a buzzard off a bleep wagon. What is what have i been eating . Can i tell you something . One one of the first things i did when the mandate came down if youre going to go out you should wear a mask was apologize to my Family Opinion i put the mask on, and i drove around, and i came home and i said, guys, i just want to tell you, i had no idea. laughter and im terribly sorry. I understand now why youre in your rooms most of the time. Stephen uhhuh. And i will engage in a more socially distanced way of dealing with you until i can clarify this. Stephen jon, you know how tv works. We having to take a break. Dont go away. Well be right back with more jon stewart. Try drive up at target. Contactless delivery right to your car, designed for your day. Your moves. Your style. Your taste. So quick and easy. Just download the target app today. [shouting] [clapping balslanging]uting] room for seven. And much, much more. The firstever glb. Get 0 apr financing up to 36 months on most models, and 90day firstpayment deferral on any model. Killer attitude. Nevor hydration. Neutrogena® hydro boost. The 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer delivers 2x the hydration for supple, bouncy skin. Neutrogena®. When you think of a bank, you think of people in a place. But when you have the chase mobile app, your bank can be virtually any place. So, when you get a check. You can deposit it from here. And you can see your transactions and check your balance from here. You can detect suspicious activity on your account from here. And you can pay your friends back from here. So when someone asks you, wheres your bank . You can tell them heres my bank. Or heres my bank. Or, heres my bank. Because if you download and use the chase mobile app, your bank is virtually any place. So visit chase. Com mobile. Stephen hey, everybody, were back with americas sweetheart, jon stewart. Okay, lets talk about the incredible civil rights demonstrations that have been going on in the wake of George Floyds death and Breonna Taylors death and ahmaud arbery. Why do you think right now there has been such a powerful movement in the streets that has been so broad, like, 2,000 different towns and cities . People from all walks of life, all taking to the streets demanding change. What do you think is different now . Boy, thats such a great question. Stephen thank you. Its funny, i was thinking back when this happened to when i was still doing the show and the terrible tragedy in charleston, ferguson, eric garner, and and i dont know. Its because those i remember those moments being so chilling and feeling like such a wakeup call. But also feeling hopeless that we continue to stare at the sort of this abyss of a gaping racial wound that we never seem to do anything about. And so, in this moment, i dont know if it was i think will smith said its not that racism is worse. Its being filmed. But the others were on camera as well. In some respects, i wonder if the pandemic, because we all went into kind of a stasis, and so much of our the distractions of your daily life were removed, that it allowed the country a moment of clarity because so much of the noise its almost like in this moment of more quiet reflection, america suddenly stopped and smelled the racism. Do you know what i mean . Stephen yeah. There was that feeling that we were in a moments pause, and in that in that one breath, maybe it suddenly became clear to us. Because, look, the biggest obstacle to change has always been our inability to understand that its not just about ending segregation. Its about dismantling the barriers. I was talking to charlamagne in the morning, and it feels like black people have had to fight so hard for equality for so long, and the exhaustion of th that, and the despair of that, the anguish of that. While they were fighting for equality, white people were building equity. And the disparity then between a lack of equality and a rising of equity just exacerbated. So theyre always negotiating from this subservient position what should not be a negotiation. They had to, from the getgo, ask for humanhood, ask for those things that in our declaration of independence say, very clearly, are your inalienable rights from your creator. Theyre not, you know if god creates us all equal, the American Government somehow got to be the bouncer of that creed, and you had to ask and beg and plead and fight and take to the streets to gain an equality. But while that was going on, we still have legal boundaries to keep them from gaining equity. And i think equality will only come once the community can gain the equity thats been taken from them. bleep from the beginning. I mean, youre talking about the homestead act. You know, all the slaves were freed. They werent allowed to have their own land. They didnt get their 40 acers and a mule that was promised to them. Andrew johnson made sure of that. And we did the homestead act, white homesteaders were given millions of acres of land, which was the equity somebody was telling me. I think they were saying that 20 of the people from that of the wealth in that area can actually be traced to the homestead act, which explicitly did not include black people. Federal Housing Administration in the new deal explicitly said you cannot loan these lowcost loanses that were intended so that white people could gain equity, you cannot give them to black people. This is the most progressive piece of legislation that may have ever happened on the soil of america, explicitly excluded black people. The g. I. Bill in long island, when everybody was buying into levittown, explicitly excluded blacks. Until we address that, there is theres equality wont come. I think you have to that, to me, feels like the root. Stephen i think that is the root. I think if i would only add to that is that i think one of the reasons why this is a catalytic moment is because of all the work done by black organizers over the last five or six years, specifically black lives matter, who four years ago in the election was like, who is this radical organization . And now is generally send as having a proper goal. The understanding of what black lives matter means is more broadly accepted. The second thing would be go ahead. No, i was just going to say, you know, so still its going to be the but people. The things working against it are the but people. And, by the way, as ridiculous as it is for two old white dudes to be sitting around going, the problem with racism in this country. Stephen but i think its valid to talk about why its accepted. Right. And here is why i think its important. I believe white people can function as avatars for some reason and we used to have it some times on the show, myself and Jordan Klepper talking about one of those instances in ferguson, and she was making great points about systemic racism. And Jordan Klepper would say, i dont know, that just doesnt sound like its real. And i would say the same thing she said, slightly reformatted, and he would go, that is so deep and frofound. You are such a thought leader on race, and i really respect you on that. And shed be like, i just said that. And hed go, i dont think you did. Because i think the problem here has always been maybe twofold. One is the but people. And you see them theyll come out, you know, what happened to george floyd was awful. We watched it. And no one condones that. But. As soon as you hear but, you know theyre about to negate the reality of the situation. He wasnt an angel. Yeah, but he the criminality in that neighborhood. One of the biggest problems i think the problem is twofold. One is i think theres a large sloth of the white population and you know this as well as i do that believes somehow that the inequality in the black community is on them. Stephen theyre just not working hard enough. Correct. That there is a it is a it is a problemvirtud culture. If you just work my grandfather had to work. Right, your grandfather when he came home from world war ii, they gave hem a lowcost loan to buy a house. When a black g. I. Came home from world war ii they were not allowed to and were never allowed to built that equity. The first thing is to try to have the conversation to convince people we dont talk about entrenched white poverty in the same way. Look at the way they talk about poverty in the inner city. Somehow its the fault of the dennisons there. But white poverty is a tragedy of circumstance. Its globalism. Its jobs that go overseas. Their problems are depths of despair. Like opioids are treated differently than crack. Crack is criminalized and people put away. Opioids thaerk just sad because the jobs have gone. Well, how would you handle what has been systemically done to the black and to the black community, its always, come on, man, were not slave holders. Were not why cant you get over it . Meanwhile, look what happened to white people six weeks of quarantine, and they were like, im going to storm the government with my ak47. Stephen jon, weve got to take another break. Well be right back with more jon stewart, everybody. Guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Hey for ralphies groomingmart appointment. Safe drivers do save 40 . Whos his groomer . Uh carrie. When were you thinking . I dont know. Tuesday afternoon . Full groom for sure what . I said i just booked ralphies appointment online with carrie from petsmart for tuesday at 4. That work . Wait you what . Its that easy download the app or book online at petsmart. Com gen inl ng rndys forwao u, rlto a halt. Push us to do even more. Your generosity reminds us what matters most. And your courage inspires us to find Better Solutions for tomorrow. On behalf of all novartis employees, thank you. Stephen hey, everybody, were back with the writer and director of the new movie irresistible, jon stewart. Lets talk about changing the future. We are in an election year. Can we do that . Stephen yeah, who are you liking . Who are you liking this year, biden or trump . Is it a coin toss at this point . Its a tossup. Im going back and forth. Stephen what do you think, a recent poll, New York Times poll, 14 of voters arent sure yet. laughs i dont know. Tell me more. Look. For me, i remember thinking, when he came down the elevator, and he goes, you know stephen escalator, escalator. Esk later, sorry. I was like, okay, hes done. Grab her by the pussy. Hes done. His morality has been litigated. I didnt expect him to be moral. I think what caught me off guard was the utter incompitane. I think ive been coma surprised you know, you were sort of sold this idea that he was a disrupture and the chaos was strategic. And now you know, no, no, i think his pants are on fire, just running around a room. And he really is just mainly concerned with credit and praise. I came on your show we were like a week into his presidency. Stephen yeah. And i remember saying, i feel like hes been president for 100 years. The presidency is supposed to age the president , not the country. And i do think at some level, its like, i think bidens slogan should just be, its enough already. Like, you clearly you got one bit. Stephen biden it lieutenant colonelly biden has literally tweeted that, just that word, enough. Completely. Stephen yes. I dont feel like this election is just. And i really tried to parse this. Like, is it just anybody but trump . And i do believe that in some sense. Biden was not my guy. You know, wasnt even in the top four. I was more of a sanders, warren. Stephen you were a Tulsi Gabbard man all the way. There you go. Not my guy. But having watched him on your show and having spoken to him at other times and seeing him in other situations, im not crazy about the uncle joe character, the uncle joey i took down corn pop. Hey, how you doing, the touchyfeely. I dont like that stephen he prefers pops by the way, not urchgy joey. Pops. He told me, joe, always take the train because it always gets you there with a bagged lunch. But i feel like thats not the core of who that guy really is. And i have recently been thinking about something, and that is that we are a country in terrible anguish right now, just we are in pain. American exceptionalism the kind of. The blindfold is off, and were kind of seeing ourselves as who we really are, that american exceptionalism is not like a title that you wear like you were miss america in 1937, and youll always be miss america. Like, it takes effort and work to maintain. And if you treat it as a fait accompli, it will erode, and you will lose it. And we are seeing that erosion. And we are fearful and we are angry, and we are in pain. And when i when i see biden pass the schtich, i see a guy who knows losses. Stephen thats. Knows grief. Stephen thats it. And i think that that kind of grief humbles you. When you lose like and you know this. And weve talked about these kinds of things because its something that i appreciate about you as well. Theres a humility to the randomness of tragedy that brings about a caring that cant be faked, and it cant be contrived. And what i think in this moment this country needs is a leader of humility that understands that he doesnt understand, that understands the humanity of this experiment and the difficulty that it is in maintaining it, and that we have to connect with each other on a much deeper level without the bleep . And it gives me hope that that can bring about that maybe he is the man of the moment. Because the whole time, listen, man, trump doesnt have that gear. He just doesnt. Stephen no. Hes still in the mindset like covid was created to stop him from a second term. Stephen right, it requires you to care about something other than yourself. Right. So im not just making the negative case for biden anymore. Its not just the, welly, we gotta get rid of that bleep guy. I actually believing . His Life Experience can benefit this country at a moment where it desperately needs it. ll beight back with moret toth. Jon stewart, everybody. Begun. Ment in s tmobile and sprint are joining forces. By bringing together our two networks, tmobile will build americas largest and most reliable 5g network. With more towers, more engineers, and more coverage. Youll get the best 5g network, and the best prices. Americas largest 5g network. Cool . Drop the taco. Get in the car. Does this sentra feel like a compromise to you . Wait, what. . The handling is good, right . No compromise there. Nope watch this. Umm. Bbrie. Brie brie rear automatic braking. So if this Nissan Sentra isnt gonna compromise, why should you . Youre right atta girl. The allnew Nissan Sentra. With more standard safety features than any other car in its class. Capital one knows life doesnt update you about your credit card. So meet eno. 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Pepsi zero sugar all in the cola flavor. None of the sugar. Amazing school district. The hoa has been very involved. These shrubs arent board approved. You need to break down your cardboard. Thank you. Violation. Violation. I see youve met cynthia. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. And it does help us save a bunch of money. Two inches over regulation. Thanks, cynthia. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com when we closed our wynn committed instantly to keeping all 15,000 team members onboard. We then focused our fivestar level of service to all who needed it. We made improvements to peoples lives. We strove to be better and we made people happy. This closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore, but it couldnt take the wynn and encore out of us. Stephen folks, if youre just joining us were here with the lovely and talented mr. Jon stewart. Jon stewart, you have a wonderful new movie. Dont do you this stephen called rir. Irresistible. Onaae. Yo my fr i dont know f you have to apelty. Steen i am a talk show host, damn it. Tell me about this steve carell person. I hear good things. Is he enjoyable to work with . Enjoyable to work with . I i enjoy his work very much. Y dont accept this in any way, shape or form. I wont stand with this tom foolery. Can i tell you something, i miss you. Stephen i zoom you, too. I know we did a couple of zoom cocktail parties. We did a couple of zoom parties. First of all, tell the people you liked the movie. Stephen i loved the movie. Not only not only did i enjoy heres what i loved. I really enjoyed seeing somebody talk about the problem with our politics that doesnt involve donald trump. Thank you. Stephen because thats not different. Thats the same. And very kind of you. Stephen and i could hear your voice in that movie and i miss it so much. Thats very kind. Stephen its a tremendous performance. Its a great performance by steve carell and rose byrne. I hope people enjoy it. Can i leave ive been thinking about trump calls biden scwt qt sleepy joe so ive been trying to figure out what we could my own nickname for trump is bleep . Stephen almost none of that will make it to air, you realize, but go ahead. Stick as long as stick is in there people will understand. By the way, that phrase is in the movie as well. I was thinking we talk so much about corruption but this may be the most corrupt administration in history. This is yi cant figure out why no one has proffered this before. Hes not draining the swamp. He is the swamp. Hes donald swamp. Old swampy don. What do you think . Swampy don. Stephen i like it. Swamp ass. Old swampy don. Lets trend it. Stephen done. Done. I dont know if thats a thing. Stephen its going to happen. Youre a beautiful man. Stephen youre a wonderful man. Up here in the northeast, i feel like youre doing your show on the surface of the moon. It must be so weird not to have an audience. But stephen i have evie i have evie shes my audience. Thats lovely. Bless your hearts, and i hope i see you guys soon. Stephen i love you, jon. Love you. Stephen thanks f irresistible is in theaters and at home on demand this friday. Jon stewart, everybody well be right back. Mwah late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be author of how to be an antiracist, ibram x. Kendi and patton oswalt. Stick around for james corden, captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh its the late late show james good eni