Perhaps the biggest scandal in the history of our country. Did the grey alien introduce gogurt technology to prepare our children for eventual tube feeding on the clone farm . They have the server. . Who are they . And what is their relationship to them . Crowdstrike or whatever its called, which is a Company Owned by a very wealthy ukrainian, and i still want to see that server. Ah, yes, the server. Wait. Hasnt that one been debunked . Fiona hills testimony was fairly compelling. Why did they give it to a Ukrainian Company . Its an american company, and they didnt give it to them. I think this goes to the highest level. Oh, it goes to the highest level. Wait, isnt that you . I want to see adam schiff testify about the whistleblower. A go. Ay. Ive got a chupacabran lets move on to something more believable. Why did the Trilateral Commission release chemtrails to make me gain weight in my 50s . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight dog day afternoon. Plus stephen welcomes Robert De Niro and j. J. Abrams, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on whoo hi there, hello welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Everybody, all our viewers and listeners around the world. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause thanksgiving is just around the corner, but impeachment is still the big story. So big, in fact, that this year at the parade, the transcript of trumps ukraine call is going to be one of the balloons. laughter yeah. Youve got to imagine this thing will not go away. It looks like its going to head to an impeachment vote. You know this has been stressful for trump. So this afternoon, trump welcomed an emotional support animal conan, the hero dog from the alaghdadi raid. Im surprised he didnt give conan his famous sports team welcome. Because a dog is really the only one whod truly appreciate a table of cold hamburgers. laughter cheers and applause but trump made sure to treat conan like a hero. We just gave conan a medal and a plaque and its really and i actually think conan knew exactly what was going on. Stephen yeah, for sure. Conan knew exactly what was going on which is why the dog has released the memoir apawlling my ruff time in the trump white house. Hes not a good boy. By conan t. Herodog cheers and applause then, it became obvious that trump didnt know what type of dog conan is. I learned a lot about this particular type of dog. A dog that is very, very special. And we could maybe say. Mike maybe you can Say Something about the type of dog . Theyre very hard to get this particular dog. This type of dog. Exactly. Because its a certain type of dog. laughter stephen as trump i love this type of dog, its a special type, a certain type, my third favorite after hot and corn. Wait, does chili count . cheers and applause and here and is a hot dog a sandwich . Thats the question. Trump even mentioned the special treatment they gave conan at the white house conan did a fantastic job. And, uh, we are very honored to have conan here and to have given conan a certificate and an award that were going to put up in the white house. Stephen as trump we also gave conan a beggin strip. Were keeping that in the white house too, cause i ate it. You know, it really does taste like bacoooon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon cheers and applause now, congresss impeachment inquiry is taking the week off. I assume to spend more time dividing your family. But theres still plenty of ukraine news and ill catch you up in tonights don and the giant impeach. cheers and applause boy, oh boy, things are not going well. Stephen one of the great things about watching the rule of law crumble is all the interesting people weve met along the way. None more interesting than Rudy Giulianis ukrainian buddies, lev parnas and igor fruman a. K. A. Tweedle dee and tweedle gonna take your thumb. On friday, we learned that parnas has some dirt on Ranking Member of the house intelligence committee, and man seen here with his only friend, chair, devin nunes. According to his lawyer, parnas is ready to testify to congress that, in late 2018, nunes flew to vienna to meet with disgraced former ukrainian prosecutor, viktor shokin, to get dirt on biden. So, according to parnas, the Top Republican investigating whether trump tried to get dirt on biden, tried to get dirt on biden. It reminds me of the childrens classic nancy drew and the case of the man murdered by nancy drew. cheers and applause now, the daily beast and cnn broke this story. When cnn asked nunes for comment he said, to be perfectly clear, i dont acknowledge any questions from you in this lifetime or the next lifetime. Wow. audience reacts did you hear that, cnn . In his next lifetime. You will not be getting any answers from nunes now or when he is reincarnated. laughter cheers and applause piano riff i want to point out that these are just allegations. We dont know whether nunes actually went to vienna is what ive been told to say by cbs lawyers. laughter because when nunes finally did comment, he threatened to sue the journalists involved, lying these demonstrably false and scandalous stories published by the daily beast and cnn are the perfect example of defamation and reckless disregard for the truth. And i ought to know. cause im the lebron james of recklessly disregarding the truth. In fact, i am lebron james. cheers and applause so to prove the story is false, nunes went on with Maria Bartiromo and almost answered a question bottom line, were you in vienna with shokin . Yeah, so, look, maria, i really want to answer all these questions, and i promise you i will come back on the show and answer these questions. Stephen methinks he doth not protesteth enough. laughter its a simple question, denoons, did you go to vienna or not . Not answering does not make you look innocent. Its like a husband coming home at 3 00 am and his wife asks, is that lipstick on your collar . Bottom line are you cheating on me . And he replies, so, look, honey, i really wantd sw anhem justs soon as this shirt comes back from the cleaners. laughter infidelity no, not me, they are. According to parnas lawyer, nunes vienna trip happened late november, early december of 2018. And in a totally unrelated story, in 2018, nunes claimed expenses for a fourday trip to europe between november 30 and december 3. Abracadumdum. How stupid do you have to be to file expense reports on a crime . Give me all the money in the vault, and could you validate my parking . laughter thank you. With all the impeachment testimony last week, trump had a ton on his plate. Also a lot to do. But he still found time to spend with his foxandfriends. On friday, he called in for an Old Fashioned 53minute conspiracy ramble, starting with debunked claims about the d. N. C. Server. They gave the server to crowdstrike or whatever its called, which is a Company Owned by a very wealthy ukrainian. And i still want to see that server. You know, the f. B. I. Has never gotten that server. Thats a big part of this whole thing. Why did they give it to a Ukrainian Company . Stephen for petes sake, its 8 00 in the morning let us at least have a cup of coffee before you start passing out the crazy pills. as trump wake up, wake up, everybody wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Look, why were there chemtrails on the grassy knoll . Did vaccines cause Jeffrey Epstein . And how did we go to the moon, when once a month the moons not even there . laughter okay . Wakeup. Heres the thing about crowdstrike and ukraine thats not a thing. Crowdstrikes an american company, not owned by a ukrainian, and theyre so trustworthy that one of their customers is the republican party. Even fox and friend steve doocy tried to get the president to reel it in a little. Why did they give it to a Ukrainian Company . Are you sure they did that . Are you sure they gave it to ukraine . Well, thats what the word is. laughter stephen okay, getting factchecked by fox and friends is like the incredible hulk telling you that he doesnt like you when youre angry. laughter trump also complained about the way republicans treated marie yovanovich, the ambassador he fired after a Smear Campaign courtesy of rudy giuliani. I said, why are you being so kind . Well, sir, shes a woman. We have to be nice. audience reacts stephen yes, the g. O. P. Is so famous for being nice to women that 500,000 of them marched on washington wearing pink thankyou hats. laughter cheers and applause there you go. Remember that . Jon i remember that stephen remember that . Jon i remember that come on, come on cheers and applause stephen of course, it wouldnt be a rambling trump phone call without some mention of nancy pelosi. I have to deal with crazy nancy. I mean, shes crazy as a bedbug. laughter piano riff stephen im going to fact check you there. Bed bugs are the opposite of crazy. They are focused on their target, and work as a team. Though it is a great analogy for nancy pelosi. Because when you get bedbugs youre the one who has to move out of the house. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Robert de niro is here. cheers and applause right now at kohls. Pick up great gifts from our best active brands. And, monday through friday get 15 kohls cash for every 50 spent save 25 on nike zip ups. And on nike shoes. Save 25 on under armour hoodies. And save on adidas find new gifts at every turn at kohls. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. 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Why not feel this good every day . Emerge and see. Hbut Mike Bloomberg became thele clasguy whoho mdid good. After building a business that created thousands of jobs he took charge of a city still reeling from 9 11 a threeterm mayor who helped bring it back from the ashes Affordable Housing units with it. After witnessing the terrible toll of gun violence. He helped create a movement to protect families across america. And stood up to the coal lobby and this administration to protect this planet from Climate Change. And now, hes taking on. Him. To rebuild a country and restore faith in the dream that defines us. Where the wealthy will pay more in taxes and the middle class get their fair share. Everyone without Health Insurance can get it and everyone who likes theirs keep it. And where jobs wont just help you get by, but get ahead. And on all those things Mike Blomberg intends to make good. Jobs creator. Leader. Problem solver. Mike bloomberg for president. Im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause folks, you know my first guest tonight is one of the greatest actors of this or any generation,noy him as tough guy, please welcome back to the late show. Robert de niro cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, tough guy. How are you . How you been . Im okay. Stephen good. Good. Good. Good. Nice to see you again. Always nice to have you on. Nice to see you. Stephen yeah, yeah. I want to talk about the irishman, the film youre doing with scorsese. Three and a half hours long, you get your moneys worth. Yes. Stephen one of his greatest films, everybody is saying. Yeah. Stephen first, i want to talk about a guy you know and i talk about him, i want to talk about the president for a second. Who . cheers and applause stephen and before i ask you any questions, keep in mind, its a family show. This is cbs. This isnt cnn over here. Youve cheers and applause oh, boy. Oh, boy. Youve played a lot of gangsters throughout the years. A lot of people who have prosecuted actual mob bosses say trump runs things like its the mob. How do you think you actually defeat a mobster . Well, thats a good question. Stephen its what i do, bob. laughter well, hes like the teflon don, you know, and giuliani, of all people, the way i understand it, he used the rico act to go after gangster families, and, so, its unusual that he, now, is representing this gangster first family, if you will. Stephen yeah. cheers and applause the whole situation is beyond understanding. It is, yeah. Kind of heartbreaking, too. People otherwise who have been heros fall. To me its more than heartbreaking. Its a really, really serious situation were in. I dont want to bring people down, but stephen no. Yeah, i think they came predown. laughter its like a pull around certain things. Its like living in an abusive household. You dont know what crazy thing is going to happen next, whats going to make you say wha what e hell is going on. Stephen because only one angry person gets to say what the truth is. Exactly. And the truth is not from him, thats for sure. cheers and applause and hes a fake president. cheers and applause stephen what do you mean by that . Well, he calls everything fake because he knows hes fake, so hes projecting. Hes projecting all the time. Accuse them of the thing that you know he did. Somewhere deep down i dont want to get all psychological. Stephen go ahead. laughter there are a lot of people who want to replace him. Youre a new yorker. Bloomberg officially announced. You know him, right . A little bit, yes. Stephen what do you think . I like bloomberg. Hes an adult. Hes a grownup. applause stephen yeah. Hes run the city for 12 years. I know there are things he did, you mentioned them on the show, but hes done good things, and he tries to do the right thing. Stephen hes put his money where his mouth is when it comes to Climate Change and certainly gun policy. Yes. Stephen thats certainly more than anybody else, i think cheers and applause thats certainly a plus on his side. Yes, yes. So, you know, we just have to get past this get over the hump into calm waters, and, so, to me, bloomberg might be the one. cheers and applause i love buttigieg, i like so many people. But its a matter of hes still young, he has time, but we need to get past this horrible situation. Stephen yeah, theres a sense of urgency right now. We need to right the ship. Yeah. Stephen well, the irishman, as i was saying before, is the new movie, three and a half hours. I would recommend maybe not the large diet coke before you go in, because you dont want to miss a minute, right . Yeah. Stephen well, this is your ninth movie with scorsese. Do you guys have a shorthand now . When youre shooting, whats the collaboration like . Its the same. It was great to get back to working with marty. We just did what we always did. Stephen give me an example of how he might direct you, how you might take a note. Do that like there. Stephen okay. laughter and if youve got an idea, like, how do you clear it with him . I go mumbling over here. Stephen go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. Stephen so chatty kathy the whole time. applause a lot was made to hav of the deg technology put in this movie. How did he explain what they were going to do when he first came to you . They had me to do a scene from good fellas, and i guess they compared e scenati did, and compared the two. Stephen and digitally made it that age. Exactly. I mean, the idea was island, they really wanted to make it the best it could be at that point, and that was exciting for us because before that we were thinking about who would play us younger and so on. Stephen who would play you younger . I dont know. We were not quite at the point of getting to naming actual people or looking for people. Stephen im right here, bob. Right here. Well, i thought of you. laughter stephen im busy. Youre busy. Stephen im busy right now. Bad timing. And the years went by, and when they all went by, it made us older, so we probably had no choice but to try to deage. Stephen i. L. M. , industrial light and magic, star wars, they could have made you a wookiee. They could have. Stephen j. J. Is backstage and still ready to go at a moments notice. Yeah. Stephen we have a clip. Tell us the story and who you play before we go to it. Well, what is it . Stephen the clip is i will tell you. I brought a clip for you. Its you and pesci, okay, and hes handing you the phone to talk to jimmy hoffa played by pacino. Okay. Stephen have you seen the movie, bob . No, i havent seen it. Stephen you havent . I hear very good things. laughter so whos your character . A guy named frank sherhan who was a teamster from jersey with the philadelphia mob, if you will, and joe pesci is a mob boss and theyre in philadelphia and he says that he knows hoffa, so he sets up an introduction to half fa for my character, and thats it. Stephen okay. Jim . Listen, i got that kid i was talking to you about here. Im going to put him on the phone and let you talk to him, okay . Hello . Is that frank . Yes. Hi ya, frank, this is jimmy hoffa. Glad to meet you. Well, im glad to meet you, too, even if its over the phone. I heard you paint houses. Yes. Yes, sir, i do, i do. And i i also do my own carpentry. Im glad to hear that. I hear youre a brother of mine. Yes, sir, local 107 since 1947. My friend speaks very highly of you. Thank you. Hes not an easy man to please. Well, i do my best. cheers and applause stephen exciting to see you three guys together out there. Yeah. Stephen we have to take a little bit of a break, but please dont go because when we come back im going to ask bob how he felt about being a talk show host in joker. Stick around. cheers and applause at jcpenney, its black friday forever well, maybe not forever. Doors open 2pm thursday. Save on sweaters. Air fryers. Diamonds. And up to 30 off nike for the family sale ends saturday jcpenney hey girls, please can you. Cmon here, here. Just watch something there or play a game. Were here . Clyde girls, in the lounge, cmon. Settle down did you guys want me to put a movie on for you . No we got it. Keep busy and dont annoy grandpa whos that . Thats grandma and grandpa. I miss her. Hey girls, just watch something. Well just be in the kitchen. Should we take a picture . Ahh moerybody its for all of you. Ha ha girls. You just tap it. Nanaell in. Ha ha girls. Oh dad look at your hair nana. [deep exhale] ahhh shes right there absolutely brilliant, both of you. 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Yes for less. With extended hours and you find a deal on cookware that makes you say. You know when youre at ross yes . Oh, yeah bring on the holidays thats yes for less. Everything you need to prep, cook and serve up the season. It feels even better when you find it for lessat ross. Yes for less. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody, were back with Robert De Niro cheers and applause its so great to have you on. Always wonderful to talk to you. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Stephen another great movie recently, joker, where you play a talk show host of a late night talk show. Yes. laughter stephen not so easy, is laertough guy,ig wh you playethearacter . What did you makehave t gig . Idu makef th gig . Well, i always thought about you. Stephen i hope not. Ive seen what happens in the movie. laughter right thank you stephen youre very kind. applause piano riff i tell you what, would you like to switch places . Why dont you be the host. cheering stephen so youre a talk show host and im your guest Robert De Niro. Well, gee, its so nice to have you on the show. Can i call you bob . Okay. laughter applause so what have you been doing lately . If i can ask. laughter stephen movie. Got a movie. I got a movie. Okay. Okay. Thats a good answer. Stephen yeah. laughter whats the movie about . Stephen which one is it . What if we got . Wha what have we got . laughter who are you what other actors did you work with . Stephen uh laughter Martin Lawrence. Martin lawrence. Stephen there is a scene with me and Martin Lawrence in big mommas house four. laughter yeah, we go to the moon in this one. Oh, you go to the moon. Stephen big momma on the moon, yeah. Okay. laughter stephen i dont know, i. Didnt see it. cheers and applause so you didnt see those scenes or you didnt see the movie yet . Stephen i dont know. I dont know which one. Good movie. Its a great movie. Its a good movie. Im glad. I cant wait to see it. Stephen yeah. Is there anything you wants to tell me about it . laughter stephen no. laughter applause you can talk. You can talk. Well, i saw the movie, and it wasnt so great, but laughter but you were great in it. Stephen what . You were great. Ughtere movie, not en okay. laughter he talks less out here put i know we talked backstage and he was giving me a whole rundown of the film and everything but for some reason, he doesnt want to talk. What do you want to talk about . I got a restaurant. Okay, what kind of restaurant do you have . Stephen i dont know. laughter applause well, we love having you on the show. laughter should we strike up a song or something . band playing cheers and applause stephen the irishman is in theaters now and on netflix wednesday. Robert de niro, everybody well be right back with the director of star wars the rise of skywalker, j. J. Abrams. cheers and applause band playing tom steyer wall street banks took advantage of millions of americans during the recession. So, my wife kat and i took action. We started a Nonprofit Community bank with a simple theory give people a fair deal and real economic power. Invest in the community, in businesses owned by women and people of color, in Affordable Housing. The difference between words and actions matters. Thats a lesson politicians in washington could use right now. Im tom steyer, and i approve this message. Depend® silhouette™ briefs feature maximum absorbency, with trusted protection for all out confidence. Beautiful colors and an improved fit for a sleek design and personal style. Lifes better when youre in it. Be there with depend®. Plaque psoriasis uncoverth clearer skin that can last. In fact, tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. Tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Tremfya®. Uncover clearer skin that can last. Janssen can help you explores. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a hollywood director best known for directing season three episode 17 of the office. Please welcome, j. J. Abrams cheers and applause band playing cheers and applause stephen there are a lot of great directors out there, even for people who know their names, there are very few who get standing ovations. Thats crazy. Thank you very much. Stephen youre a lovely man, j. J. Abrams. Thank you very much. applause stephen last time you were here, i asked you about the new star wars films the rise of skywalker, we didnt know the title of it at the time. And i said whats the status on it and you couldnt tell me anything at the time and you said we have a script. That was a big deal for us. Stephen did you shoot that script . We sort of yeah, we did. Stephen okay. You know, but as you go along, you get a better idea and you think, lets adjust this and that, but we did shoot the script. Stephen and do we have a movie . Is it locked . Yes. Stephen really . Yes. Stephen congratulations. Do you get to go to sleep now . Immediately after the show. We locked yesterday. Stephen so youre just fresh off the lock. I from flown from locking the thing to the east coast to see you, once again. Stephen thank you very much. Im honored. cheers and applause thank you. Stephen im going to ask you a question that jimmy kimmel asked you about the last star wars movie you directed four years ago. Whats the first word said in the movie . I will have no context. Stephen i dont care. laughter here it goes. Ready . Not in the crawl stephen spoken, not this. Not that. At. Stephen wow cheers and applause let the theories be spawned. And there are six or seven words that follow. Stephen here is my theory. At. At. It is someone actually, its not one of our main characters, its a new character we havent seen before describing something thats happened before setting up the moment were about the see in voiceover. Okay. Stephen im so right. Im 100 right. laughter okay. Youre ending with this film the Skywalker Saga. Was it harder to end or reboot . We always look at it as a continuation of what came before. In our minds, it wasnt really a reboot. It was stephen an invigoration. It was like chapter 7, 8 and 9, sort of one book. Ending is much, much, much harder. Its so hard to end. Stephen anything. Well, its a very its a huge responsibility. It has to work on its own for the movie, its the end of the trilogy, its the end of three trilogies. For some people, its like a religion. So to do something to do service to that story, to end it well, to tell a story that is epic and also funny and also intimate, there were so many issues and things and stephen did you ever think i cant do this . I think every day there was a moment of, oh, god, you know. But the truth, is as challenging as it was, this has by far been the most rewarding and exciting experience that ive ever had professionally. cheers and applause stephen i read theyre applauding your challenging experience. How nice. I read lieu coz intended for the third trilogy series to be leias story. Im not sure thats entirely the case. Stephen but i read it. Oh. Fake news. laughter but because of carries passing i knew her for a while before we did episode 7. Stephen heres a lovely picture of the two of you together. She was the greatest. We knew there was no way we could finish this Skywalker Saga without leia, it was impossible, and we knew we never would want to do a digital leia, and, we, of course, couldnt recast it. And then i remembered we had scenes we hadnt used because it didnt work in the movie. And weirdly, those scenes were material that we 100 realized could be used to tell her story in this film. So every time youre seeing leia this scenes with characters, its carrie in this movie, and i still cant quite believe that shes gone because we have been working on these scenes and editorial, and shes as there as anyone. Its really uncanny. Stephen i understand that, in her book, she makes an odd reference to something that actually hadnt happened by the time of her death. I wasnt supposed to work on this film, and she passed away before the last je last jedi was released. She had a book called the princess diary and she said thanks to j. J. Abrams for putting up with me twice. And i never had worked with her before and i wasnt supposed to direct episode 9, and it was a very carrie thing to write sothing like that and to somehow know, its really strange. audience reacts stephen well, tell me where do you shoot this in jordan . Some of it is in the jordan, the desert scenes. Stephen i heard you went out to the desert in jordan, and then out in the desert where you actually built this little town in the desert, you use blue screen or green screen out in the desert. Mmhmm. Why not just use the desert if youre going to go out to the desert . For some of the shots, it just wasnt the right desert, stephen. No, no, the scene and i actually brought a clip and there some of it is something you will see now, some of the shots that we needed to get required Certain Movement that was a physical impossibility to do, but the light in the desert was like, if we had shot that exact same thing anywhere else, it wouldnt have matched with any other scene. So we shot some scene. So when we started shooting in jordan, the first four days, we were literally in this sort of blue kind of cove that we created, and wed, like, look past the blue and it was the most glorious desert wed ever seen and were, like, were land. E, it was nuts. Ery segmenab for seco wa you can feel it. I cant believe it. Robert de niro. cheers and applause but, anyway, when you see the work that they did and our visual effects supervisor, who was extraordinary, we all knew this would make it look better and, hes right, it does. Stephen i hope you dont have anything more important to do because we have to take a little commercial break but stick around and when we come back ill ask j. J. Fan questions. Stick around. Oh, this is cool. Look at this. Alright, grab that pie. One more thing, you want to grab it . Sure. Here you are sir. Happy holidays. Wow alright, were gonna put all this on a plate and. Stop dancing around the pain that keeps you up again, and again. Advil pm silences pain, and you sleep the whole night. Advil pm when we were looking he wanted someone super quiet. Yeah, and he wanted someone to help out with chores. So, we got jeanpierre. But one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with renters insurance. Yeah, geico did make it easy to switch and save. Oh no. Theres a wall there now. Thats too bad. Visit geico. Com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be. Introducing new Vicks Vapopatch easy to wear with soothing vicks vapors for her, for you, for the whole family. New Vicks Vapopatch. Breathe easy. Its time for black friday at target save on hundreds of black friday doorbusters this thursday through saturday only. Doors open 5pm, thursday. Le say yes for less to gifts storewide. At 20 to 60 off Department Store prices. Most stores are open thanksgiving, 6pm to midnight. Reopening friday at 7am. With extended hours saturday and sunday. Yes for less. You know when you go to ross for a few gifts and realize. Oh yeah you shouldve gotten a cart . Thats yes for less. Get gifts for everyone on your list and save 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back. Welcome back. Were here with j. J. Abrams. We have a clip here, as you said. Does anyone want to see the clip . cheers and applause thats called tease in thebunes. Jim . Respond to the fugitives. fighting sounds stephen thats exciting. Thats exciting. Its a natural, they fly. Of course, they fly. Of course, they fly. Stephen we have to go here in just a moment. But before you do, theres going to be a lot of fan theories out there as to what happens in the film and i know you cant tell me anything. Youre going to clam up as soon as i ask any of these questions but you know as well as i do that that machine right over there, a camera is a mind reader. Yes, it is. Stephen and were going to take a closeup of you, and im going to read you fan theories, and youre going to figure out whether we can read in your eyes whether any of these are true. Oh, good. Stephen okay, all right. You just look in that camera, ill read these. Ready . Firsthand theory. The good guys decide to build a life star. laughter keep on j. J. For this one. Chewbacca gets hairy shave club for christmas and lets say he gets very busy. laughter the whole movie is count duku at the galactic d. M. V. Trying to legally change his name because, come on, duku . laughter youre loving this. I can tell how much youre loving this. I do, i love it. Stephen turns outwasaiser l. Nice to see you, get some sleevment good luck. Star wars the rise of skywalker is in theaters december 20. J. J. Abrams, everybody well be right bac cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be paul rudd and adrienne warren. Now stick around for james corden. Good night very had to get, this particular dog, its a certain type of dog. Stephen it would be inaudible . Stephen thats why, he doesnt say mellanwa. It belgian melomar. Theyre only available certain types to have the year. Thats why. We have to refrigerate this dog. In the summertime, you cant get them. laughter captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from deep inside a pod show in storage, give it up