Toughasnails investigator. announcer people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of onceweekly ozempic®. The other is adam schiff. In a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c they are pelosi, schiff and macgyver. Of less than 7 and maintained it. Finally, a sitcom about a oh under 7 . President raising his two announcer and you may lose weight. Halfwitted sons while in the same oneyear study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. Oh up to 12 pounds . announcer a twoyear study showed that ozempic® does not violating the constitution two increase the risk of major cardiovascular events and a half brains. Its all happening reet here on cbs. And local ukranian affiliates. Like heart attack, stroke, or death. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Oh no increased risk . announcer ozempic® should not be the first medicine tonight ukraine wreck. For treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Plus, stephen welcomes Jennifer Aniston. Do not share needles or pens. Dont reuse needles. And Thomas Middleditch do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or Family History of medullary thyroid cancer, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. And now, le he suln theater in new york stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away city, its Stephen Colbert if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, raorle bathing. cheers and applause serious side effects may happen, stephen come on including pancreatitis. Hey tell your doctor if you have Diabetic Retinopathy how are you . Or vision changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin how are you . May increase the risk for low blood sugar. Common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, cheers and applause hey thanks, everybody. Stomach pain, and constipation. Delightful. Thank you. Please, have a seat. Some side effects can lead to dehydration, youre too kind. Which may worsen kidney problems. Thank you very much. Welcome, one and all to the i discovered the potential with ozempic®. Late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Oh oh oh ozempic® regardless folks, regardless announcer if eligible, you may pay as of the endless roadblocks, little as 25 per prescription. Ask your Health Care Provider today about onceweekly ozempic®. The president and his axis of allies are trying to throw in front of it, the impeachment inquiry keeps moving forward. And the republicans keep sinking lower. They hit rock bottom a while ago, but in the last 24 hours, theyve gotten out the blasting caps, and theyre fracking americas moral bedrock. Ill tell you all about it in tonights installment of don and the giant impeach. The peevment of your president is a scam. Stephen trump has constantly complained that all the evidence about his ukrainian phone call r 0 bucks starter, tree and dk anytime, anywhere tap to get it togo, tap to get it delivered was hearsay. But today, the house heard your home is now chilis, your phone is a waiter testimony from a firsthand witness director of european just a few taps, baby, taps, baby, taps affairs at the National Security mmmmhmmm council, and military john together we chilis, oh yeah, baby, yeah hodgman, colonel alexander vindman. Now, during trumps ukraine phone call, vindman was listening in from the situation room, so it wasnt hearsay. Vindman could actually hear the bad stuff trump say. Vindman explained, i listened in on the call in the situation room with colleagues from the n. S. C. And the office of the vice president. As the transcript is in the public record, we are all aware of what was said. Yes, we all are. Ukraine said they were ready for more military aid. Then trump said, i want you to do us a favor, though, and then asked for dirt on the bidens and the d. N. C. Pretty bald. Its like if the sixth sense were called bruce willis doesnt know hes dead. laughter . Jon spoiler aletter there. Stephen spoiler alert. Jon yeah. Stephen now, vindmans testimony directly contradicts that of ambassador to the e. U. And jeandouche picard, gordon sondland. Ambassador sondland told house investigators that no one had raised concerns about the president s actions. Yes, vindman did not raise concerns. All he did was convey certain concerns, share his concerns, reported his concerns, and again reported his concerns. Lawr lawr its a classic case of he said, he said, he said, he said. laughter vindman complained at least the holidays begin here twice . At the disneyland resort. Twice, to the National Security council lawyer. Once, he even went in person to speak with him, accompanied by his identical twin brother, yevgeny, who is a lawyer on the National Security council. cheers and applause wait the what stephen hey, everybody, were back with jennifer he has a twin brother who also serves on the n. S. C. . Aniston. Star of the morning show. On apple tvplus. Lets check him out. Ohhhh congratulations. I just found out that on october 15, you broke the Guinness World its so cute when twins dress alike. Laugh record for the fastest time to their dramatic story is reach one million followers on chronicled in the new kids movie, the president trap. Vindmans record is sterling. According to his opening instagram. Statement, for more than two cheers and applause decades, it has been my honor to serve as an officer in the United States army. That time, for those of you i served multiple overseas tours in iraq. I was wounded in an i. E. D. Keeping score at home, five hours 16 minutes to reach one million, beating prince harry. Attack and awarded the purple and, you know, suck it, harry. Heart. The privilege of serving my suck it, harry. Country is not only rooted in my military service but also in my personal history. You gotta have goals, guys. I sit here as a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States you know what i mean . Army, an immigrant. Wow, tast p stephen with this cheers and applause photograph applause crazy. That last part m how often does this happen . How often do you get together . That gathering . It happens a couple once a huge shock to donald trump. as trump every two years. But girls all the time. What do you mean, hes an immigrant . I didnt know those came in stephen yeah. Schwimmer lives here. White you know what, he must be it must be some sort of manlania. meat works. Its hard to get us all in the same place. Stephen people are always clamoring for a reunion. laughter now, i think its fair to say always. Stephen and the other day on ellen you made noises this might happen. I just made noise s. Stephen what is that, unlike donald trump, vindmans character is happening. I said, something is unimpeachable. But that didnt stop all the happening. Stephen what is happening . President s toadies from questioning his loyalty. I dont know. He is from the soviet union. Something is happening. Stephen did you say that toned the question . He emgraiptd here and has an im saying it now to end it. Affinity to the ukranian people. Nothing is happening, maybe something is happening. Mr. Vindman, hes an adviser stephen you can confirm to the president. He is a former ukrainian. Something is happening. Something is happening. cheers and applause he has an affinity, i think, for the ukraine. He speaks ukrainian. He came from the country. Stephen thats official. Senoesnt im of irish descent. I still love the irish, and he has an affinity probably for his homeland. Matter. But something is better than stephen yes, my family are nothing. I agree with you. 100 . Stephen now, this is i think this is truly a milestone in anyones career. I have not achieved this yet unless i have. All from ireland, too. I always had a great affinity i dont know. For the irish, until i found out you are now a lego. This bleep was one. Because this past summer, lego i wonder i wonder applause made a friendsthemed set in i wonder if the scots will take me. Honor of the shows 20th todays hearings were secret, anniversary. I think its central park, they but pretty soon, were going to know everything, because last did the central park set. Night Speaker Nancy Pelosi sent a letter to House Democrats announcing that the house will your friend Matthew Perry made vote to formalize the procedures in the ongoing impeachment this bold claim. He said, you can clearly see inquiry of president trump. Chandler is the most attractive. She even sent out postcards such a Matthew Perry thing to save the date and our democracy. Say. Stephen i question that. laughter applause pelosi cheers i dont know what to wear. I dont know what to wear, jon cheers and applause jon oh, man you got to find something stephen yeah, its even Stephen Pelosi insists that got its got the hair. No formal vote is necessary to its got the hair. Im not sure what season this impeach a president but says that trump and his supporters is, because ive not had that argue that, because the house kind of an angled bob. Has not taken a vote, they may simply pretend the impeachment but Chris Mcmillan would know. Inquiry does not exist. Hes here. Yeah, trumps strategy on a lot this is you could go let go of my lego. Of things is just to pretend it i dont know why i stephen you can do this, too. Doesnt exist the popular vote, or dear. But fall over. The constitution, salad, eric. Thats what happens when you laughter thats what happens when we take the wig off. Stephen look. Oh, no now, pelosi promises that the thats a little thats an resolution creates hearings that are open to the american people. That means live televised exorcist stephen angry. Hearings. And heres Matthew Perry. Its going be the highest ratings for cspan since Matthew Perry right there. Watergate, when Congress Heard we can take his hair off. Testimony from the fonz. Oh, yes. laughter equal wl now. Mr. Fonz rely, do you wear to applause well, im now im clearly the tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . Most attractive friend. as fonz stephen heres the thing . Yes, sir. Stephen i dont want this ayyyyyy to end. Why does it have to. Because theres wait, whats his name . Stephen please say that again. It will make him feel so good. Wow. Ayyyyyy trump reacted on twitter to the whats his name has to come looming Impeachment Vote nervous nancy pelosi is doing out. I didnt read it. Everything possible to destroy i just heard the last name. The republican party. Stephen its a hard name. Our polls show that it is going Thomas Middleditch. To be just the oppidite. That guy. Stephen is he waiting in the wings . He left. Thomas middleditch left. cheers and applause yes. Now we have more time. The oppidite. All the time in the world. Stephen lets keep going. The oppidite, my friends. What do you want to talk about . Whats on your mind . Before we go, do you mind do well, mr. Pepsident, you are clearly you mind . The vote to formalize the this dress is absolutely impeachment inquiry will be held beautiful. I can point something out to the people at home. You can do whatever you want. Stephen do you mind on thursday, and that very standing up. Not at all. Night, my guest will be Nancy Stephen what i like about pelosi. This dress, its fantastic. This dress has something you yes. cheers and applause boom come on rare rarely see in any dress i dont want to get too familiar here. Fancy nancy. You can unlook this right here and it unhooks from the back, that night, that night, of course, is also halloween. Too. And you have a cape. So were calling it nancy peghostys Haunted House screampeachment sinquiry into applause youre a youre a superhero. The president s quid pro crow with bookraine cheers and applause applause youre a super hero. Or there are a lot of things we can do with this toy. We should call it that. We should call it that. Stephen in a pifn, like, in a pinch, you hansomeith that. I sure could. Vindman is not the only veteran coming forward with harrowing stories from the white house, stephen i can see that . Because we just got some new you look you are so dish from former white house appropriate in a cape. Chief of staff and man embodying the phrase what the hell oh, first of all, cheers and applause general john kelly. Key left tten you have to wear this i wish i had my camera. January of. Im going to guess its really good. Stephen listen, im 1852. Keeping this now. At an event, last weekend . Okay. Ive of im off to another event. Last weekend, he revealed a warning he gave trump while he was looking for a new chief of stephen the morning show staff. Begins this friday on apple tv we were still in the process plus. Of trying to find someone to Jennifer Aniston, everybody well be right back with take my place. Silicon valleys Thomas Middleditch. I said, whatever you do, dont dont hire a yes man, someone thats going to tell you wont tell you the truth. Dont do that. I had psoriasis everywhere. Head to toe. Because if you do, i believe you will be impeached. People were afraid i was contagious. Stephen yes, john kelly has alright, ill be back in one hour. Psychic powers. My skin hurt. laughter . I felt gross. He can foretell the obvious. Whats up jay . Hows everything . Whats up man . Hope youve been practicing . Hes nostradumbass. But then i started cosentyx. And i havent really had to think about it. laughter trump responded to kellys see me. Criticism in a statement saying, cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. John kelly never said that. Th real people with psoriasis. Look and feel better with cosentyx. If he would have said that, i would have thrown him out of the office. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. He just wants to come back io the action like everybody else before starting, get checked. Does. For tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Kelly just misses the action . And lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection. Or symptoms. If your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop. I mean, just look at how much. Or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine. Or plan to. Serious allergic reactions. Fun he had . May occur. I just look and feel better. Trump wasnt the only one see me. Yeah, like gum in my moight. Ask your dermatologist if cosentyx could help you move past the pain of psoriasis. Trump wasnt the only one who had harsh words for kelly. So did White House Press secretary and stepford full of flavor. Spokesman, stephanie grisham, color. Full of. Who said, i worked with john woo full of good. Kelly, and he was totally so you can be too. Unequipped to handle the genius try our new warm grain bowls today. Of our great president. Order now on grubhub. Audience oooh try our new warm grain bowls today. Boo stephen yeah, yeah. They Work Together doing important stuff. That was a slow build. The hitch . Like you, your cells get hungry. Feed them. Now, sounds like trumps buddy,. With centrum® micronutrients. Kim jongun, has really rubbed off on him. Restoring your awesome. Daily. As a matter of fact, north centrum® feed your cells. Koreas news leader has also been reporting this story. Kes unequied to handle the genius of glorious leader donald johntrump, he of the perfect phone call. He whose birth was heralded by a flock of starlings that gathered to spell hamberder across the heavens. Even the cruel sorceress bette midler wept with joy when the newborn trump leapt from his mothers womb into a firetruck and hit a thousand holes in one at trump doral. Seasonal rates available now. laughter applause . Stephen thats a good deal. Theyve got great deals going on. Fantastic deals going on. applause no last night,sint its kin oute. In keepingh tradition, trumpwelr families, ell asal a soky experience for those children as kid its that big, creepy house on the end of the block. They say the old man who lives there wears hair made from dead people laughter he looks like hes wearing somebody elses skin laughter to kick things off, the president and the first lady walked out to the Addams Family theme song. Take a look. 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No on prop c. Yes for less. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody my next guest stars in silicon valley, which just started its sixth and final season. Please welcome back to the late show, Thomas Middleditch and you get first dibs on that brand. At that price . Thats yes for less. Seriously, get the fall brands and styles you love applause and save 20 to 60 off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Man. Stephen whats up, tom. Yo. Who was that . laughter before . Stephen i dont know. She seemed very nice. Yeah, she was great. Stephen anybody call you tom . Tom, tommy, tim bells. Stephen does anybody call you thomas or is it strictly welcome back give it up for the band, jon professional . People call me all the batiste and stay human right varieties of thomas and tom. Stephen to your family there cheers and applause what are you . Tom. Very nice. Very nice. Hello, tom. Stephen are you english . Im not, but they are. Jon, very excited. Im lit. My impressions of my father eye have about only a couple of things i can get right. One, when hes mad. Hell be like trying to get thank you very much photo, and hell just say like, im just as excited as you guys put on a proper smile, tom are, because, jon, Jennifer Aniston is going to be out here. Because ill be like. You jon Jennifer Aniston. Know . Stephen ive got good news laughter to share with all of you. And then stephen whats the other. When i havent done that, it turns out and i did not know this, you are extremely hell just say oh, sod it kind and generous. Reed and the last one is, hands off your penis, tom you about chefe annd his organization, world central kitchen, handing out over a million and a half meals to laughter and thats not a jeek. Stephen youre like, im trying to give you a proper smile. Yeah. laughter applause cheers hurricane victims down in the bahamas. Well done, colbert we at the late show are pitching in with proceeds from our book made up of dumb stuff stephen sixth and final season of silicon valley. Here we are. You guys have already you already finished, right . Trump said, whose boat is this boat . You finished the damn thing. And today, thanks to you, our book has rocketed to number we shot the damn thing. Three on amazon you did it stephen what does that feel like, by the way, going all proceeds all proceeds of into the season, this is it. I better act pressey hard this this book will go to hurricane year. I better act the stuffing out of this thing. Relief. Keep it going. Stephen yeah. Honestly, i dont want to get you can go to www. Wck. Org and too cheesy, but its been a show give generously, or you can go buy the book. With your help, i know we can thats totally changed my life, get to number one. And ive loved telling the were already at the top of the story. So it was kind of it was sad charts in Atmospheric Sciences take that, clouds to say goodbye to it. We literally ended the night of laughter shooting with a group hug of cast and crew, everybody, like, arm in arm shedding a tear. Stephen thats lovely. It was really sweet. Sorry. It was a special experience, really. Stephen have you gone hollywood in any way . I mean, other than my 40foot clouds. Yacht and my eagle that i ride folks, you know i spend a lot of time over there, knitting the fine mongolian wool of the big news stories into the luxurious to work. laughter cashmere scarf that is my stephen nice. Yeah. Monologue. But the eagles, like, small. But sometimes i like to swing by joannes, grab a fistful of felt, some pipe cleaners, its me, go its its a regularsized bird. Macaroni, and glitter and glue, stephen wow, sure, sure. But she hauls. She hauls. And toss back an entire box wine, and slap together the confusing holiday sweater of news that is my segment no, im kind of embarrassed to say, but weve already meanwhile. Prearranged to say it. laughter cheers and applause yeah, okay, were talking about this. Okay, and talking about my teeth. Stephen anything new . There it is. Yeah, when i first got to meanwhile, according to new l. A. , i got this new dentist. Research, implanting false memories in a birds brain and shes russian. Changes its tune. And she looked at my mouth, and she said, uhm, have you ever thought about having veneers. Okay. What are we doing . Honestly, at and i was like, no, not long last, have we no decency . Really. She was like, you might want t. I look forward to these same scientists giving us headlines your teeth are so wild at the like koalas make brand new facial expressions when you bottom and narrow at the top, it threaten their children in front of them, and if you hook up a looks like you have a car battery to a rainbows condition. Nipples, it turns all red. And i was like. Tell it to me yes. Straight, doc rainbows have nipples. And eventually, yeah, we figure out that, you know, okay lets some day, they found the rainbow do some veneers on my top two connection. Front week. Really . Stephen those are applications the appliques thats where you draw the line . That go on the front of your at the idea of rainbows having teeth, right . You be, it wasnt fully explained to me. In hindsight i know what they nipples . Shame on you laughter are now, but going into it, i just assumed they kind of shape meanwhile, its halloween, which it and put some caps on. Means, just for tonight, meanwhile is dressing up as oh, they shape it. They shape it down to, like, halloweenwhile. Triangles. If you have never had veneers, a cautionary tale. I mean, they look great. Halloweenwhile, in spooky they look great right now. Fastfood news, burger king is super proud of them. Stephen they look selling a ghost whopper for beautiful and real. laughter stephen yes. Halloween, because, as we know, they turn them into shark teeth . The spirits of murdered whoppers they numb them up, and they never rest. File them here i am im halloweenwhile, in other scary thinking, wow, theyre really food news taco bell. r taking their time making sure theyre perfectly in shape. They take a break at one point and the guy its guy who would not stop telling me about his applause oh theres more . Web series. Okay. Hey, man, dont look in the taco bell has recalled 2. 3 Million Pounds of beef for mirror, and then he left. Containing metal shavings. I was like, what . What do you mean, sir yes, they discovered the metal and i didnt. Shavings the first time a sober i took his advice. Person ate taco bell. Because i was like, oh, no, that means something bad. laughter but then i sort of glincherly like like touched my teeth with my tongue. And sure enough i had been applause turned into snake man. Halloweenwhile, a giant pumpkin i was temporarily dracule. Weighing 2,175 pounds has set a california record and was grown and stephen you needed a cape by Leonardo Urena of napa, who and for a second, i got so says he enjoys the pumpkin growing community. Sad. And i started crying. Or, as they call it, the im a grown man crying in the lifestyle. laughter dentist chair. Well be right back with Jennifer Aniston. And she came back in, the dentist, whats wrong . And i chose the spark cash card from capital one nothing, nothing, nothing. With unlimited 2 cash back on everything i buy and in my mind, this is what made me cry. Why wouldnt i get this card . okay, cut to, you know, 30 years i redeemed 115,000 in cash back, from now its a mad max which doubled our Marketing Budget last summer. Apocalypse scenario, im driving whats in your wallet . Around in my dirt bike being mad max. And bail and bash my veneers out. And now theres no dentist. So now im dragon tooth forever. And how am i going it meet girls now its like its like thats i was, like, crying this future mad max brokenhearts the holidays are here. Welc audience cheering ight. Scenario. Stephen sure, sure and im habitually cool. I love your material. So warm and cozy. Stephen so anxiety is an and festive. Issue . Yeaoo. Whats up, bro . What material are you talking about . And were out of time go mad for plaid with up to fifty percent off storewide. Thats up to fifty percent off. At old navy. How do you gaveeno® happy 24 7 . Silicon valley airs sundays on with prebiotic oat. Hbo. It hydrates and softens skin. Its the final season. So it looks like this. Go watch it, and you feel like this. Aveeno® daily moisturizer get skin healthy™ paul sprintern at special time its iphone season at sprint. paul switch and get. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. And now you can get iphone 11 paul . For zerodollars a month when you trade in your iphone7 or newer in any condition. sprintern seriously, any condition paul and with sprints 100 total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. sprintern can i get a. [air horn beep] its iphone season. Hey paul, do you love it . paul yeah. sprintern do you love it . paul i do. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. Late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be norman reedus, Cynthia Erivo and musical guest miranda lambert. Now stick around for james corden. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, folks, this is a treat for you. Our next guest is a treat for me. You know my first guest from friends, office space, horrible bosses and cake. Her new series is the morning show. Its just an event. Really just an event only with the worst timing ever. Id rather stick daggers into my eyeballs. Alex. What how about you pretend to have Food Poisoning and just dont go . I cannot do that everyone in there will know that im lying, know that im uncomfortable and afraid, that im afraid of whats going to happen to me on the show in the wake of mitch. Everyone in there is press. They think they know everything. Half of them hate me because im too successful, and the other half hate me, i dont know, because their hearts are at home bleep and theyre dark oh, god oh, i cant cry stephen please welcome, Jennifer Aniston applause cheers stephen lovely. Hi stephen so nice to see you. Its so nice to see you oh, im so happy to be here. Hi stephen im so happy to meet you. As i was telling you backs,i bt before. I cant believe it, either. Stephen i cant believe its taken so long for your first appearance on the show. What kept us apart for so long. Stephen you live in los angeles. We have a agreement mutual friend, dave swimmer. We went to college and you worked with him for a few years. A couple. I vaguely remember that. Hes a great guy. But i actually was on the show once, but i got bumped, and stephen i would remember bumping Jennifer Aniston. I promise. We want to thank Jennifer Aniston for stopping by. Well it wasnt i wasnt actually on. Our other mutual friend tig nanotaro was on. Stephen i think i know what youre talking about. She texted me. Stephen she said she was a friend of yours. And she is. And i said, do you have your number on your phone . And sheed is d. Sheed is d. And and you said, lets text her now. And i said, did i make it . And she said, no, they cut it. I think we have a clip. Jim. She is a friend. I have to say that on national television. She is absolutely a friend. A very good fren. Stephen can i ask you something about jen . Yeah. Stephen she does a commercial where she has the lotion, and she drinks smart water, and the dry eye wheres she does the drops. Why does she lack moisture . Why do you lack moisture . laughter colbert here. Did you get that . I sure did. laughter . Stephen did you have any idea what was going on . I sure did not. Stephen what did you think when that came through . I thought tig was having a moment. By the way, not much of that was spelled correctly, which was if i read it back hey, you gotta you gotta get good with the thumbs. Anyway, it was a pleasure it was still a pleasure to be there, kind of. At least i got to have a text from you. That was exciting. Once she said it was actually you. Stephen im sorry we cut it. Thats all right. We just got it back. Stephen most of this will make it to air tonight, i think. Im fairly sure. Im pretty sure. Stephen would you like a card of yu own . No, but i do like this. Stephen last night, congratulations, you had the premiere of your new show, the morning show. Yes, big premiere. Stephen here in new york. Where did you guys hold it . It was at lincoln center. Stephen thats fancy, it was really, it was amazing right, it was so fancy. Stephen that must have felt very special. It was so special and it was also personally very special to me. It was in the david geffen hall, which used to be avery fisher haul. Stephen sure, sure. And i graduated from high school in that exact room where the show was aired. Stephen wow. applause . Stephen what high school. Performing arts. Permanenting arts. La guardia now. Performing arts. Yes applause wow. See how its worth the scream like that. Where are you . Stephen its like a fight song, isnt it la guardia. It terrifies you every day when people yell that. Stephen now yes. Stephen you lived in new york when you were first an actress. I lived from age six to 20. I cant say i worked as an actress except for offoffoffoff broadway. And i did a bobs big boy commercial. Stephen you did a bobs big boy. I did. That was my first job. Thats when i got my sag card. Stephen do you remember your line . I said, the shrimp is ready or something. I wasnt even bobs big boy pitches the competition of was not to go and get for fast food. Stephen sure purp not as good as a bobs big boy. Exactly. Stephen you waited table . Where did you wait tables . Jackson hall hamburgers on 82th andolumbus, which, sadly, just closed. Stephen did you work the sunday bruhes there . Oh, yeah. Stephen theyre like the fall of saigon. You cant believe how unbelievably crowded it is there. I know. The lines stephen were you a good waitress . No, i was a terrible waitress. I was a hostess, then they finally allowed me to be a waitress. Stephen because hostesses make no money. No, you just get a lot of business cards. Stephen not all hostesses do. Well, thats maybe. So, yes, but i was i had slippery fingers as a waitress was the problem. Stephen you were stealing from people . What does that mean . Yes, i stole from people. Stephen you were drong trays . I would yes. Things would sort of i tripped. Im very klutzy. Stephen how long did you do it . Two and a half years. Stephen wow, thats a long time to not be a good waitress. Stephen thats a lot of broken plates. I got better eventually. Stephen and now you appreciate good service. I sure do. And i always tip very, very well because i priesht it. applause . Stephen now, the shows plot revolves around a beloved morning show host who gets fired for sexual misconduct. Uhhuh. Stephen where on earth did you dream u this fantasy world that youre inhabiting . Yeah. It was an inspired idea. I just kind of woke up with it one day and thought, what have we not heard yet . Yeah. No. Stephen was this actually created, like, postme, too. Yes, this was a book top of the morning. And we basically the Michael Ellen berg bought the rights to the book, came to reese and myself, said would we come and produce it . Stephen because you and Reese Witherspoon are also executive producers. Were executive producers on it as well. Thats right. applause and it was just no question, lets get in and do this. And its been a ball ever since. Then me, too happened and the world change gld yes. As you know. Stephen for the better. For the boston. Stephen yes, so far. applause i know, at least we got a little bit of a silver lining. Stephen did you do a ridealong or anything . Did you visit any of the morning shows . We dwe shadowed g. M. A. Yes, 5 00 in the morning until 7 00 in the morning. Twohour window. Stephen i was a guest anchor over there for one day. And i thought it would break me. Yes, i dont know how they actually do it and have sanity. Stephen i have Great Respect as a lot of your wonderful people here. Stephen i have agreement respect. I do, too. Stephen for them but the speed at which they have to do that show is insane. New stuff goes to the prompter, theyve never seen it, they read it, and go on to the next story. Theyre doing it phonetically. You worry about their nervous system sometimes. And then theyre on air and its as if nothing ever happened. Its just, like, smooth as silk. Stephen have you ever worked a job where you had to get up go ahead and take it. Go ahead and take it. I just like doing this. Stephen you can have Thomas Middleditchs, isnt it . You know. I just like it. Stephen you know what sound guys