And magic sprays shell keep the dark psychic forces far away well, i guess youd say what kind of candidate talks this way . Marianne williamson talkin about marianne she knows oprah sung to got to have your loving tune baby, he knows obama got to have barack obama has joe mentioned he knows obama . Yes, hes really tight with obama sung to heard it through the grapevine tune i bet youre wondering if we knew Michael Bennett was running too with some other guy named jay inslee also, whos john delaney . It was a surprise to our eyes to our eyes just who the hell are all these guys . Are these guys . Today, i saw them for the first time and of course, this moving tribute to the host of the debates, cnn. sung to abc tune cnn will these debates ever end . Your coverage i cant commend cnn please stop interrupting them announcer its the late show, live with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, dejabait. Plus, stephen welcomes rahm emanuel. And Michael Ian Black. Featuring live jon batiste and stay human and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen whoo welcome back come on wooo welcome yeah, baby wooo oh, come on oh, come on audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen perfect perfect hey, everybody, how are you . Up there. Down here. What a lovely house. What a lovely audience weve got tonight. cheers and applause please, have a seat, everybody. Thanks so much. Welcome. In here, over there. Out there. One and all. Welcome, everybody. Woo welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert, and we, right now cheers and applause we are live after night two of the second round of democratic debates that were calling democratic debate night 2 many candidates 2 remember forget harder 2 this time its not all white people. Once again cheers and applause once again, the debate was moderated by jake tapper, dana bash and don lemon or, as theyre known throughout america, wheres Anderson Cooper . laughter last night, last night, we saw Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, the two leading progressives. Tonight, it was all about the moderates, baby it was the tempest of the centrists it was the rage for incremental change laughter though it did get contentious at times tonight. And am i right about this . We have some footage of joe biden in a spirited disagreement with senators gillibrand and harris. laughter cheers and applause stephen took me by surprise. That was, of course, after joe biden broke the ice with harris right off the top. Go easy on me, kid. Stephen to which harris responded, i hope youre wearing a cup. laughter who else . Tulsi gabbard was there, too, apparently to welcome everyone to heaven. laughter the Opening Statements opened with bill de blasio. We can make change in this country. I know from personal experience it can be done. When i became the mayor of the nations largest city. Stephen the subway used to work, and now thats changed. cheers and applause its not then, Michael Bennett spoke, followed by jay inslee. Or vice versa. Its really a coin toss. Then, senator Kirsten Gillibrand shared a lofty vision for the presidency. We need a nominee who doesnt know the meaning of impossible. Stephen trumps got you beat there. He doesnt know the meaning of thousands of words. Youre really starting out behind on that one. Julian castro says he knows what the lives of Everyday Americans are like. Too many people are struggling, and i know what thats like, too. I grew up with a single mom in a poor neighborhood. Stephen growing up, we were so poor, my brother and i had to share a face. laughter sad. Hes a twin. Hes a twin, is the idea. Now, Julian Castro had his own answer to trumps slogan. Were going to make america better than its ever been in the years to come. Stephen yeah, forget maga. Julian castros going with mgtmabtiebitytc laughter now, andrew yang unveiled one of his campaigntested zingers. The opposite of donald trump is an asian man who likes math. laughter cheers and applause stephen opposite of donald trump, opposite of donald trump is an asian man who knows math. Judges . buzz oh, im so sorry. The opposite of donald trump is a black woman who has spell check. laughter so close, very close. cheers and applause youre going home youre getting our home game. Then, biden got his turn. Just look at this stage, made up of very Diverse People from diverse backgrounds, went on to be mayors, senators, governors, congresswomen, members of the cabinet, and, yes, even a Vice President. Stephen as biden i mean, just look at the diversity on this stage. How did this happen . Its like we were all bussed into this debate or something. laughter jon whoa stephen then, then its going to be its going to be a long night, ladies and gentlemen. Then wear a cup then, Tulsi Gabbard took on our broken healthcare system. The reality is, right now, we dont have a healthcare system. We have a sick care system. Stephen and i should know. I am the only one up here dressed like a doctor. laughter andrew yang made an interesting revelation. When i told my wife i was running for president , do you know the first question she asked me . Stephen who are you . laughter cheers and applause whats going through your mind . applause when biden said harriss numbers on healthcare did not add up, she shot back. Lets talk about math. Stephen to which andrew yang said, hey, thats my only thing get your own thing youve got the busing thing then, biden began to explain his healthcare plan, before he kind of ran out of steam. We immediately are able to cover everybody who wants to get off of their Insurance Plan they dont like, no matter what one it is, and buy into a medicare option. And they can buy the gold plan, and theyre not going to have to pay. Anyway. laughter stephen i dont know what i dont know what just happened. Jon he didnt finish. Stephen biden just joined the ranks of historys greatest orators. For who can forget lincolns great speech, four score and. You get the idea. What are you going to do . Were now whatever. You kids. applause even though even though biden and castro were both in the obama administration, only biden wanted to keep the same border policy. And castro swiped back. It looks like one of us has learned the lessons of the past, and one of us hasnt. Stephen hey, buster ive learned the lessons of the past i was there for most of it hell, Charles Lindbergh still owes me 20 bucks laughter later on, cory booker demanded changes to our drug laws. We have got to have far more bold action on criminal justice reform, like having true marijuana justice. Stephen yes. Coming to cbs this fall, marijuana justice high crimes just got hella blazed, bro cheers and applause id watch that. I would watch that. Jon yeah, ill check it out. Stephen biden tried to avoid answering questions about obamas deportation policy, but cory booker wasnt having any of it. Mr. Vice president , you cant have it both ways. You invoke president obama more than anybody in this campaign. You cant do it when its convenient and then dodge it when its not. Stephen oh, really . Obama said i could laughter Mister Mister come after you whippersnapper when the topic turned to criminal justice reform, cory booker sprang this on joe biden. Mr. Vice president , theres a saying in my community youre dipping into the koolaid and you dont even know the flavor. Stephen okay, okay, thats a nice rehearsed line. But really, does anyone ever know the flavor of koolaid . It all just tastes like red laughter biden shot back against his critics on that stage. You know, i find it fascinating. Everybody is talking about how terrible i am on these issues. Barack obama knew exactly who i was. Stephen as biden an insurance policy for voters who get nervous when they hear rap music. laughter and, after yet after yet jon whoa. A little bit nervous. Just a little bit nervous. cheers and applause slightly nervous. Stephen after yet another clash of the titans with harris, biden told people to look up his argument online. If you doubt me, google 1,000 prisoners freed kamala harris. Thank you. Stephen as biden then, Google Joe Biden and barack obama and just keep scrolling down. Google images. Then, senator gillibrand took a bold swipe at answering how she would beat trump. I can talk to those white women in the suburbs that voted for trump and explain to them what White Privilege actually is. Stephen as gillibrand they will accept me into their midst, for i come with offerings of chardonnay and skinny pop. We speak the same my bounty is as boundless as the sea. cheers and applause when the topic of Climate Change came up serious subject andrew yang had a blunt assessment. The last four years have been the four warmest years in recorded history. This is going to be a tough truth, but we are too late. We are ten years too late. Stephen adding, abandon all hope. Yang 2020 though, of course, we wont live that long. laughter and applause senator gillibrand was ready when asked about her priorities. The first thing that im going to do when im president is, im going to clorox the oval office. cheers and applause stephen wow. Wow. Thats harsh. Exactly right. Exactly right. That president ial slam brought to you by clorox. Clorox the commanderin bleach. laughter then, mayor bill de blasio was asked to address the issue of lead in the Drinking Water here in new york city. We have a huge problem, and its decades old in new york. Stephen yes, oh, its true, lead poisoning is a huge problem here. Its so bad, some people completely lose touch with reality and think they can be elected president. laughter cheers and applause then, then its true. Its sad. Sad. Jon i know, man. Stephen then, de blasio challenged biden on whether he would allow the Labor Movement to be part of bidens trade deals, and biden answered. Your response, sir . Yes. Thats it . He said, would i insist that labor be engaged . The answer is yes. I consider that a victory. Stephen its as close as im ever going to get new york, im coming home laughter and applause cheers and applause then, it was time for closing statements, starting with Kirsten Gillibrand, who said she knows how to take down the president. I also know how to beat donald trump. Stephen as gillibrand it involves a deep hole, a camouflage tarp, and a cold cheeseburger. laughter gotcha then but in the end, the candidates came together around a unifying message click like and subscribe please join me at michaelbennett. Com. I hope you will consider going to jayinslee. Com. Kirstengillibrand. Com. Juliancastro. Com. Kamalaharris. Org. Please go to corybooker. Com. Enter your zip code at yang2020. Com. Stephen thats so disappointing, you know . If you think we deserve more than shameless plugs from our president ial candidates, go to colbertlateshow. Com and join our movement cheers and applause now, for just 5. You could give me 5. But thats all it takes. But biden did the same thing but he couldnt quite stick the landingdotcom. If you agree with me, go to joe. 303. 30 and help me in this fight. Stephen as biden go to joe 30 330. And send an evite to scranton joe 1942 aol. Org. Then, ring up pennsylvania ring up pennsylvania 6500 and ask for lulu. Shell show you a good time. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Rahm emmanuel is here. 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We know donald trump watched because they were on the tee vee. And the president had some choice words for one of cnns moderators cnns don lemon, the dumbest man on television, insinuated last night while asking a debate question that i was a racist, when, in fact, i am the least racist person in the world. Oh yeah, that sounds like the least racist person in the world. as trump listen up, everybody. The dumb black guy thinks im a racist. Also, that least racist person in the world quote sounds familiar. Where have i heard that before . I am the least racist person there is anywhere in the world. Stephen you cant quote yourself. laughter its like that famous saying by a very wise man, you cant quote yourself. cheers and applause trump he tweeted on perhaps someone should explain to don that he is supposed to be neutral, unbiased fair comma, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot,ot or is he too dumb stupid to understand that. laughter okay, okay, but your argument would have been a little stronger if you hadnt used a parentheses and then a bracket. cheers and applause that just makes you look dumb, stupid. laughter but the candidate who made the most surprising splash last night was selfhelp author and High Priestess saying, bring me the child, Marianne Williamson. After last nights debate, williamson became the most because she said stuff like this if you think any of this wonkiness is going to deal with this dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred that this president is bringing up in this country, then im afraid that the democrats are going to see some very dark days. Stephen fun fact some very dark days is what trump calls black history month. laughter jon oh, my stephen true, true story, jon. True story. Those who did Google Williamson found some interesting stuff, for instance, williamson has controversial views on vaccines, calling them orwellian. Yeah, reminds me of George Orwells last words, hi, im george orwell. I died of tuberculosis when i was 46, and i really wish thered been a vaccine for it. cheers and applause plus that is doubleplusgood. That joke is doubleplusgood. Plus, in her book, return to love, williamson wrote, aids can be thought of as angelsin darth vadersuits. And told people with the disease to imagine the aids virus as darth vader, then unzip his suit to allow an angel to emerge. Do you mean this angel . Heres a pro tip for anybody out there seeking medical advice this is not the cure youre looking for. applause so, so there are a lot of kooky things about Marianne Williamsons past, but these days, shes trying to appear more polished and pragmatic. Lets see how that worked out for this child reporter after last nights debate. Do you have a pet . Do i have a pet . I had a cat, and the cat died. Stephen yes, yes, johnny, because you see, were all going to die you, me, your grandma and its because you didnt picture an angel inside darth vaders suit. Well be right back with rahm emanuel. cheers and applause it runs on doritos. Want to tr[dog barks]me machine . Okay. Yes [humming, thumping] this is the greatest moment of my life get out of my yard [birds chirping] jimmy . Youre so old. 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New sichuan hot chicken. For a heart breaking limited time only at panda express. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight spent three terms in congress, two terms as mayor of chicago, and is the former chief of staff to president barack obama. Please welcome to the late show, mayor rahm emanuel. cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen nice to see you again. Please have a seat. How are you doing . Stephen im doing okay. Its nice to have you here. Certainly a change from the old days. You personally shut down all democrats from talking to me on the colbert report, because you thought it was a bad idea for them to talk to me just because i would make jokes about them. Sir, have you no decency . Its not a career builder. Stephen why, is your career over now . No, i was talking about them. Stephen okay. Youre no longer mayor of chicago. Youre not Holding Public office right now, so you dont have to watch what you say. Not that you ever did that that much. I was going to say, that was not really i dont think you have to worry about that. Stephen but now you can be rahmbo again. Neutron rahm. Blow up the place. Wheres waldo . Stephen lets talk about the debate tonight. You worked for president s clinton and president obama. Im sure you did a lot of debate prep for those two guys. Yeah. Stephen who got close to their level tonight . Who impressed you on stage . You know, president obama had yes, we can. President clinton had, as you know, put people first. We have, damn it, i wrote the bill. So thats kind of the closest. Stephen you think bernie last night had the best of the two nights. Endorsing bernie. No, no, i think that will not help bernie, given his base. So heres what i think i think democrats love to fall in love. Republicans fall in line. And were not yet in love. Were still dating. And thats the process right now. There are a lot more debates and were going to still date. Stephen how many more dates before a while. Stephen really . Nobody is ready to come nobody is ready to come home and see the inlaws yet. Stephen nobody is jumping in the sack after tonight . No, no. Stephen no . I see you and i and everybody we love this every inch, were measuring every 25 yards. Its a marathon. Its a long ways to go here. Im out of metaphors. I have marriage, i got dating, i have marathons. Thats it, man. I got nothing else. Stephen what are the stakes at this stage of the campaign . Because were still 16 months away from the election. Were still six months away from the first primary. What do you think of having debates this early . Is it a good idea . Yeah, i think, first of all, like, take a look at joe biden. I think the debates are going to make him a better candidate. And if not, hes not going to be the nominee. Stephen why do you think that . Hes getting slapped around out there. He has got you think stephen they slather him in blood and throw him into a pit of pirhannas out there. Im not saying he cant hold his own. What im saying theyre going for him hard. Heres the thing you have to know they are. Thats good for joe. He can take it. Its not like trump is going to go easy on you. The second is, if you cant handle the campaign, trust me, its not going to get easier in the oval office. Stephen how you campaign is how you govern . If you cant handle the campaign, thats best preparation, because in the oval office it is all incoming 24 7. Kennedy had this great quote, when youre president , you have to choose between bad and worse. You have to be able to take it constantly. Its coming at you every way. You have to have an excellent chief of staff. A really good chief of staff. Thats number one, okay. applause and and if you got that, everything is at ease. Stephen podesta did do a great job. Unbelievable. Stephen he did a really good job. The first two years, they were easy. Stephen they really were . A recession, financial crisis, auto industry, but outside of that the two longest wars. We kind of cruised right through it. Stephen by the way between those two guys, between bill clinton and barack obama, both sharp as a tack. Whos the better debater in your opinion . Who would have won the debate between those two cats . And yes, i just called them cats, daddyo. You probably would have gotten thrown off the debate stage for that. First of all, theyre totally different. Stephen youre not going to answer that question. Thats correct. Bill clinton is the best if you want to beat bill clinton is the best tactical person i have ever seen in politics. And if you want to beat him, two things. One, start the debate at 10 00 a. M. Not happening, okay. Because the guy is still up at 3 00 in the morning making phone calls. Number two, make him answer each of the questions first. He is really good, if you go first, he can figure it out. Hes got that. President obama, i think, is hes also a very good debater, and he first of all, both made it to the oval office, and the first two democrats to get re elected since Franklin Delano roosevelt. cheers and applause stephen of the people you saw tonight again, it was 10 people both nights. Of the people you saw tonight, who should have gotten the hook halfway through . Who should have been sent a dead fish wrapped in newspaper . Who do you think really hurt themselves tonight . First of all, its going to happen because you have to score 2 in three different polls, youve got to have 150,000 contributors. Stephen you mean for the september and the next round . Yeah, in kind of what i would say the cattle round in houston. I think its going to be down to one night in houston, in fact. I think it will be cut dramatically. Stephen oh, that will be delightful, because doing these things live is killing me. laughter and applause heres what i would say. What i will say its down quickly to about five candidates. I think last night stephen who are the five . I got four and a half for you, brother. So heres what i would say. Its an inside joke that hell tell you about later. Stephen exactly. Last night i would say Bernie Sanders was robin to Elizabeth Warrens batman. Thats what happened last night. And Elizabeth Warren is just stephen i dont want to picture bernie in skintight lycra, thank you. laughter as a former ballet dancer i know what people look like in leotards and tights. The second thing i would say i think all the other candidates just never measured up. A couple of people obviously, biden, kamala harris. I think mayor pete is there. I think that cory booker is there. Stephen did a good job tonight. I think Mary Ann Stephen Marianne Williamson. Shes trying out for surgeon general. Thats what i would say, for a cabinet position. Stephen we have to take a quick break. Please stay. Youve come all this way. Well be right back with rahm emanuel and the rest of the debate. Stick around. cheers and applause i knew my son could be at risk of certain cancers later in life. From an infection, Human Papillomavirus i knew widespread hpv is and while hpv clears for most, that might not be the case for him. I knew his risk increases as he gets older. I knew a vaccine could help protect him at age 11 or 12, before he could be exposed. I knew so i talked to my childs doctor. Now that you know that hpv can lead to certain cancers, dont wait. Talk to your childs doctor today. Bowhen you want toks hakick start your day you can choose the one with the full serving of vegetables or you could go with 3 times the amount of sugar. If youre into that sort of thing. V8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. I mean, if you havent thought abfrankly, youre missing out. Uh. 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This is something bigger. G. That is big. Not as big as that. Big. Bigger. Big. Bigger. This is big. And thats bigger. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody, we are here with former obama chief of staff, his honor, former mayor of chicago, rahm emanuel. Lets talk a little bit more about the debate tonight. I want to ask one more question about biden, is that people criticize him and we made our little haha jokes about the number of times he mentioned barack obama. Do you think hes doing that too much . No, not at this point. Stephen no . That would be the simple part. Not at this point. But i think later on hes got to go into just being able to talk about himself. In the primary, early on, president obama has a 95 approval among democrats. Why would you not mention you were his Vice President not for one, but for all eight years. Stephen should he mention him more . laughter then hell have to pay a residual to the president. No, i think right now its good. Stephen now, i have one thing was really curious to me. Last night and tonight especially last night, a couple of people mentioned it tonight nobody is defending obamacare. I think biden said he wanted to improve it. Maybe cory booker or bennett, something. But for the most part, theyre not even talking about obamacare. Ill give you Something Else the number one thing about the president S Health Care plan that is obamacare, a. C. A. , is that you cannot get denied health care for preexisting conditions. Its the single most important thing. cheers and applause i like, really . We heres heres what i dont get, and i love my party, but nine months ago, we made this the central issue that allowed us to take back the house, and nine months later everybody has amnesia. Its the most important thing and its the most popular thing. Second is, President Trump ran on there will be no cuts in medicare. He actually has introduced the largest cut ever by a president in medicare. And i think we should put up a medicare cut for all by donald trump. Put it up for a vote. It will go down. I dont get this. I dont know what the democrats are doing. This whole negotiation its in section 2022. In the debate last night, pre existing conditions. Want to improve obamacare. Its very popular not only with the democrats, its very popular with the country. And ready, its working. Breaking news. Thats what legislation is supposed to be doing. I dont get it. cheers and applause stephen and it gives you an opportunity to attack donald trump while you defend it. With a lawsuit going on. Stephen you wrote a memo for tonight that you published on medium saying, dont make detroits debates a repeat of miami. You were not a fan of miami . What was wrong there . Well, what was wrong, one of the things president clinton and president obama did, they won the nomination in a way to propel them into the election. What we did in miami was foreclosed ourselves to a very important part of voters that are not democrats today but can vote for a democrat. Look, folks right now, given the economy, are not happy with trump as a person. They may think the economy is okay, not bad. But they think donald trump is worse than bad. And what we have to do is not take a set of positions lets stay with health care. Were talking about taking 150 million peopleS Health Care away, and the first thing were going to do is give it to undocumenteds who come to this country . You can make some moral argument about it. But focus on the 35 million americans who are a single illness away from financial ruin because of health care. And that to me is where we should be focused on. We have an advantage on health care, and donald trump is frantic trying to cover up for the fact the first two years all he tried to do was take away health care from people with preexisting conditions. Stephen are you done with politics . No, i love politics. Stephen are you going to run for anything again . Im thinking about running when this jobs open, im thinking about running for this job. Stephen this job . laughter heres the thing stephen its easier than being president and it pays better, too. Its much easier. applause but the good news is, in both jobs you have to stay up real late. Stephen you have to stay up late. You only have eight years as president. I can stay longer than the pope. Thats right. And i joke sometimes as both mayor and chief of staff, i started my job 62, 250, and im now 5 foot eight, 148 dripping wet. You lose a lot. Stephen you look good, you wear it well. The medication is working. Stephen mr. Mayor, thank you for being here. Rahm emanuel, everybody well be right back with Michael Ian Black. cheers and applause jimmy johns is buying someone a house so they can deliver them a sandwich. Read the legal copy below if you must, but we assure you, it will be a real house. 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Did you know you can save money by using dish soap to clean grease on more than dishes . Try dawn ultra. Dawn is for more than just dishes. With 3x more grease cleaning power per drop, it tackles tough grease on a variety of surfaces. Try dawn ultra. cat 2 fwhoa so many choices cat 1 look extra gravy cat 2 and lil soups cat 1 theres the shreds cat 2 yeah friskies has it all. cat 1 i want it all can i have it all . vo feed their fantasy. Friskies. New magnum ice cream. Doea st caramel. Carefully made to be broken. Magnum ice cream. band playing cheers and applause stephen beautiful. Hey, everybody, welcome back. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an author, actor, and a delightful comedian you know from the state and wet hot american summer. Please welcome Michael Ian Black cheers and applause stephen nice to see you again. Nice to see you. Stephen you are politically aware. Aware, sure. Stephen politically aware. Would you call yourself politically astute . No, i would never call myself astute about anything. Stephen but you care, you care . Sure, i care about all kinds of stuff. Stephen did you get a chance to watch the debates tonight . I did. Stephen what was your takeaway . I was trying to watch it as a neutral observer because i knew i was going to be on tonight and i know you have an audience that embodies all kinds of people. Stephen right, they dont take sides. These people do not take sides. laughter but there are probably people here who think donald trump is a terrible human being and a terrible president , but then theres probably also people here who, who are wrong. And so i just wanted to be as neutral as i could. cheers and applause stephen good. So, i was talking i was talking with mayor emanuel just a little while ago, are there too many of these debates . How important do you think it is to have these debates . I thought tonight was really important. I thought it was the most important democratic president ial debate since yesterday. laughter critically important. Stephen thats saying something. Did you like anybody . Uh, yeah. I mean, well, first of all, i i like everybody. I was looking to see how biden did. He came out spittin fire. When he said, malarkey on the talking radio. Stephencome on. I almost had the vapors, stephen laughter i liked Elizabeth Warren from last night. Stephen she has a plan. I can picture her in the job. I love her. I think shes my favorite. Stephen who else did you like . I like castro tonight. I liked i liked booker tonight. I like all of them. They ill vote for ill vote for stephen all of them . No. Heres the thing a lot of democrats are probably like, ill vote ill vote for any of the candidates. Not me. I have very strict purity tests for my candidates. Stephen oh, really . Yes. Stephen how do they pass your bar . Its not easy. First of all, if youre a democrat who started a Fake University and then got sued for 25 million and had to settle, youre not getting my vote. Stephen wow. If youre a democrat who paid hush money to a porn star, youre not getting my vote laughter if youre a democrat who said that mexicans are rapists and criminals. Guess what . Youre not getting my vote, Stephen Stephen okay. Does that eliminate anybody . laughter no, that doesnt eliminate anybody. Stephen what about Marianne Williamson . I love her. Stephen shes got an interesting spirit. Yes, and im not sure that i like the spirit that is speaking through her. laughter stephen you think she might be channeling, youre saying . Shes channeling something. I dont know if shes running for president. Shes running for oracle, maybe. Stephen she sits on a three legged stool heres a ticket i could get behind Marianne Williamson running with jean luc picard. That would be a ticket for the United Federation of planets or whatever it is. I could get behind that. Stephen i do like her talking about love. You dont hear about that much anymore. There is something very compelling about her. And shes right about this when she says nobody cares about policies as much as they care about the emotions and the love like youre talking about. Shes absolutely right. Like, they were talking a half hour tonight about the Health Care Plans and yelling at each other about it. I dont understand a word of it. I just want to know that my kid is going to be covered, you know. Thats all i care about. applause stephen right. That is the issue for you . cheers and applause thats a big issue for me. By the way, i have two kids. I really only care if one of them is covered. laughter stephen you have you have a book here. You wrote a Childrens Book called, im worried. Yes. Stephen this is a Childrens Book. It is a Childrens Book. Stephen and why do you write this book for children . Because i think theres a lot of panicked children out there. Stephen oh, you think so . You might be right. Heres the thing. This is the third in a series. The first and this isnt a coincidence was written before the last election. Its called im bored. The next one was written after the election. Its called, im sad. This one, were two years into the administration, its called im worried. There is one planned applause stephen you have one more . I have one planned for next year, and it is optimistically entitled im happy. Stephen oh, that would be lovely. That would be lovely. Because children, if they are worried children, because theyre getting contact anxiety from the parents. Of course. Stephen theyre very open. Theyre sponges and they can tell how we feel. Yes. Stephen thats why its important to lie to your children at all times about how you feel right now until things get better. Thats what i do i am a inveterate. Is that a word . Stephen nope. I dont know. Stephen your eldest son is about to go off to college. Do you have any advice for him . Im probably the wrong person to ask because i dropped out of college in my second year to become a teenaged mutant ninja turtle. Stephen for real. For real, yeah. I was raphael i was an advance turtle for the coming out of our shells rock n roll teenage mutant Ninja Turtles tour. cheers and applause stephen i would love to hear the end of this story. I am being told i have to wrap. Will you please come back and tell us the end of that story. Thats called a grabber. And the next time youre here, well pay it off. The book is called im worried. Check out michaelianblack. Org for his tour dates this summer and this fall. Michael ian black, everybody well be right back. Thank you, michael well well well, what have we here . A magical place. Thats lookin to get scared with bats. And ghouls. And cars in disguise. Ive cast quite a spell now. You wont believe your eyes the spell is cast. Halloween time is back with spooktacular experiences in disneyland and disney california Adventure Parks . Stephen hey everybody. That is it for the live late show. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show
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