Wait, where are you going . What are you going to do about all the senseless violence . Im going to toledo. cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight video games. Plus stephen welcomes brian cox, Hannah Gadsby, and comedian shane torres, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert n cheers and applause theme song playing stephen come on whoo hi there cheers and applause trilling have a seat, everybody. Thank you so much. Welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff you can feel it. Im glad you guys have got the energy because you can feel it ton street today. Tooth today is a very rough day, so lets start off with something from the smile file. Thanks to trumps trade war with china, the Dow Jones Industrial average lost more than 750 points today. And that was the smile file. laughter because its all downhill from here. laughter ive been watching this show on hbo chernobyl dont tell me how it ends. laughter and in the thing about the Nuclear Reactor blowing up, over and over again in it, a scientist or engineer will tell a politician, hey, weve got a real problem here. The nuclear core is going to meltdown and kill everyone. n but the politicians refuse to believe it because any acknowledgment of failure threatens their position of power, and their power is more important than saving lives. Whats that got to do with anything . Well laughter i think at this point its clear that americas gun culture is melting down, but the republicans in congress would rather maintain their power than save lives. cheers and applause the latest evidence is the two Mass Shootings in less than 24 hours one in el paso, texas, the other in dayton, ohio making four Mass Shootings in america last week alone. 255 in 2019 so far. Now, there are two bipartisan background check bills that havd passed the house but are being blocked by Senate Majority leader and this months centerfold of corruptionco monthly laughter applause mitcha laughter mconnells had the bills since february, but wont take any action. Im sure he has his reasons. Like the 1. 26 million in n. R. A. Contributions. He has received. booing you cant put a price on human life, but it doesnt stop mitch from trying. laughter after every one of these tragedies every time this happens, everybody wants sensible Gun Legislation and nothing happens. Maybe its time for senseless Gun Legislation. laughter maybe turn in your assault weapon and in exchange well give you a giant pork sausage. Okay . cheers and applause that makes no sense. That is senseless. applause give me your gun, you get a giant pork sausage. Its even more falk than your gun and its only going to hurt you. laughter applause piano riff this time its not just guns, its also overt racism. When a reporter asked el pasonative beto orourke if there was anything the president could do about the shootings, he did not hesitate to name the radioactive core of this meltdown. Is there anything in your mind that the president can do now to make this any better . What do you think . Umm, you know the bleep hes been saying. Hes been calling mexican immigrants rapists and criminals. I donk the press, what the bleep . Hold on a second. n you know, its these its these questions that you know the answers to. I mean, connect the dots about what hes been doing in this country. Hes not tolerating racism, hes promoting racism. Hes not tolerating violence, hes inciting racism and violence in this country. So, you know, i dont know what kind of question that is. Stephen well said. cheers and applause well said. Refreshing candor. Refreshing candor. Its all well and good to offer thoughts and prayers, but sometimes you need shouts and swears. cheers and applause today, trump put on his president pants and addressed the tragedies in el paso and dayton or tried to may god bless the memory of those who perished in toledo. Stephen okay. All right. Wrong city, but dont worry, sir. Its not like ohios that important in president ial elections. laughter joe biden better hope its not, because last night, he offered sympathy for the tragic events in houston and also in michigan. audience reacts holy toledo. laughter later on in his address from the white house, trump took a strong stand nr in one voice, our nation must condemn racism, bigotry, and white supremacy. Stephen i try my best every night, but youre still in office. laughter piano riff cheers and applause so cheering so whos to blame for these shootings . Trump had a, lets say, thought we must stop the glorification of violence in our society. This includes the gruesomee and grisly video games that are now commonplace. Stephen first of all, theres no link between video games and shootings. Every country has video games. But these tragedies only happen here. Secondly, i would love to hear trump try to name a single video game. laughter as trump these violent video games tetrismunch, ghost mario, grand theft pong. laughter then, in his own way, trump tried to heal a nation. Now is the time to set destructive partisanship aside, so destructive, and find the courage to answer hatred with unity, devotion, and love. Stephen as trump yes, we must set aside partisan bickering over who fired up the white nationalists in our country, and come together as one singing to kumbaya send her back, my lord send her back someones different, lord send her back im not racist lord applause not everyone was heeding trumps call to unity. Like cory booker, who heard trumps speech and texted this to his campaign manager, who then tweeted it listening to the president. Such a bull bleep soup of ineffective words. cheers and applause okay,ening i see whats happening here. Okay. I see whats happening here. So beto swears, now everyone jumps on the curse wagon. The next debate is going to be fun. as booker yknow, mr. Vice president , they have a saying in my community youre dipping your spoon in the bull bleep soup and you dont even know the taste of ass croutons cheers and applause piano riff jon is that a saying . I havent heard that one. Stephen trump defended guns on camera, but on twitter, he was more open to compromise republicans and democrats must come together and get strong background checks, perhaps marrying dot, dot, dot, dot dot, dot, dot, dot this legislation with desperately needed Immigration Reform. We must have something good, if not great, come out of these two tragic events as trump and if i know anything about marrying, it is always a tragic event. laughter applause but listen to what hes doing applause listen to what hes trying to do here, gun control and Immigration Reform have nothing to do with each other, and theyre the two hardest things to do in washington, so naturally he wants to combine them. as Trump Congress has not been able to eat fire or levitate. laughter so, they should try to do them both at the same time. laughter might make it easier to levitate with flames shooting out their butts. Trump was able to find at least one person to defend him, acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, seen here explaining how tall a pile of lies hes about to spew. laughter mulvaney went on the sunday shows and he pointed out that gun violence has nothing to do with guns. Weve had guns in this country for for hundreds of years. We havent had this until recently and we need to figure out why. Stephen oh, i know why. Its because those guns we had hundreds of years ago were slower and less powerful. Its why, during the revolutionary war, the british soldiers volunteered to wear bright red coats and stand in a Straight Line as colonial british soldier would you mind killing us more quickly . Its nearly tea time and we have to do this all over again in the crimea. laughter jon wow stephen the crimea cheers and applause mulvaneys main argument everyone is to blame except his boss. This is a serious problem. Theres no question about it. But they are sick, sick people. And the president knows that. Again, jon, i dont think its fair to try and lay this at the feet of the president. Stephen its true. You cant lay this at the feet of the president , cause thats where Mick Mulvaney sleeps. laughter piano riff weve got a great show for you tonight. Star of hbos succession brian cox is here, but when we return, another trump appointment bites the dust. Stick around. cheers and applause band playing sphwrnchts wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. That i won the best of i casweepstakes it. And i get to be in this geico commercial . Lets do the eyebrows first, just tease it a little. Slather it all over, dont hold back. Well, the squirrels followed me all the way out to california and theres a very strange badger staring at me. No, i cant believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my Car Insurance with geico. Uhhuh, wheres the camel . Mr. Big shots got his own trailer. Wheeeeeee believe it geico could save you 15 or more on Car Insurance. Just between us, you know whats better than mopping . 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We have two wonderful guests tonight. You ever see nanette, Hannah Gadsby . Yeah stephen our first guest tonight, you ever see succession on h. B. O. . Brian cox plays log logan roy ws the father of a murdoch red stone family who has a big media empire. Great show. Its the show on h. B. O. Where there isnt a nuclear meltdown. Its the other one. laughter now, weve all grownni accustomd to the huge turnover in the trump administration. At this point, if the white house was a family, wed all have given up trying to learn moms boyfriends names. Look, youre motorcycle guy number three in my book. If you last longer than two weeks, well talk. laughter 63 of trumps nominees have either had to drop out or had their nominations yanked. A name to the ash heap, trumps pick for director of National Intelligence, texas representative and Steve Carells twin who didnt get enough oxygen coming out, john ratcliffe. laughter on friday, trump abruptly dropped his plan to nominate ratcliffe, after questions about his qualifications and concern over whether he exaggerated his resume. Oh, johnny john, johnny. Oh, johnny, we hardly knew ye because ye lied about who ye were and what ye did. laughter the administration probably learned about ratcliffes lies the same time we did, because as axios put it, the white house appeared to have done no vetting of ratcliffes resume, assuming, perhaps, that if hed been elected to congress, hed been vetted. laughter pro tip voted does not mean vetted. laughter just because people pick something doesnt mean it was good. laughter the movie venom got 29 from critics on rotten tomatoes, but 81 from the audience. You cant trust people to make good decisions. I think that was actually the subtitle of the movie venom. laughter so, just why the hell did trump pick this guy . D apparently, it was ratcliffes defense of trump during the muller hearing. Jim, roll the audition tape nb donald trump is not above the law, hes not. But he damn sure shouldnt be below the law. Which is where volume two of this report puts him. G stephen and the emmy for Outstanding Achievement in shameless president ial butt kissing goes to. Jon oliver he wins everything he wins everything i dont think he deserves this one. He normally deserves it. He didnt deserve this one at all. laughter ÷u but trump wants everyone to know this Dumpster Fire of a nomination is the fault of the press, and this was the plan the whole time. You vet for me. I like when you vet. No, no, you vet. I give a name, i give it out to the press, and you vet for me. A lot of times, you do a very good job. I give out a name to the press and they vet for me. We save a lot of money that way. Stephen as trump the press is supposed to stop my bad decisions. Youre like the nanny to my two yearold. I put everything i find in my mouth, and your job is to make sure i dont choke on an unqualified lego. laughter jon oh, my goodness. piano riff stephen so ratcliffe beautifullp name ratcliffe is out and the white house proudly doesnt vet anyone. So whos next on deck for director of National Intelligence . Aaand im being told trump Just Announced a new nominee. Well be right back with brian cox. T cheers and applause band playing guys, i want you to meet someone. This is jamie. Youre going to be seeing a lot more of him now. Im not calling him dad. Oh, nno. Look, [sighs] i get it. Some new guy comes in helping your mom bundle and save with progressive, but hey, were all in this together. Right, champ . Im getting more nuggets. How about some carrots . You dont want to ruin your dinner. Youre not my dad thats fair. Overstepped. Thats fair. What shes zip lining with little jon . Its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Tlets go mets go time daddy [ giggling ] ohhhh man. Took my hat off. [ to love somebody by bee gees playing ] thats crazy [ crowd cheering ] [ screaming ] lets go mets [ cheering ] delivered to your car door so you can do more. Et. More refill. More recharge. More relax. Target run and done. vo vfundraising. Giving back. Subaru and our retailers have given over one hundred and sixtyfive Million Dollars to charity. We call it our love promise. And its why you dont even have to own a subaru to love a subaru retailer. Subaru. More than a car company. You. And mom also gets aoss shoppibacktoschool bag . Thats yes for less. Ross has the brands you want for back to school. And it feels even better when you find them for less. At ross. Yes for less. And realize you can get youeverything you need. Oss oh, yeah. Yep. Yes . To feel like a boss . Thats yes for less. 20 to 60 percent off Specialty Store prices for every room and every budget. At ross. Yes for less. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back welcome back to the late show, everybody. My first guest is an Emmy Awardwinner you know from films like manhunter, x2 and zodiac. He currently stars as patriarch logan roy in succession. Please welcome, brian cox now you step up on to the rack. Im going to pull you limb from limb like a pinata and see what falls out. Okay. So you want what . I want the game plan, what the timetable is. Capital structure, end game, what they might accept, what their weak points are. But well start at the start. When did they approach you . Um, when did they approach me . Stephen mmhmm. Did it take long or did you open your legs on the first date . Stephen please welcome brian cox rse band playing stephen nice to have you on. Nice to be on. Stephen thank you for bringing i think you bring a certain dignity, a certain gravidas to every role that you play. Yeah, its all fake. laughter stephen you played some real heavies in your time. You played the guy who made jason bourne in the jason bourne. You played the guy who made wolverine into wolverine. Then you played rupert murdoch. So do you think succession is shakespearean because i know youve done quite a few shakespeare plays. no it has very strong shakespearean elements but its like a chaucer morality tale. Theres sort9 we live in ludicrous times. Stephen sure. And i think that succession is a ludicrous show for ludicrous times. Stephen right. Its the funniest saddest show on right now. Yeah, exactly. Stephen its funny and sad at the same time. And that reflects the state that were in. Stephen because families like this actually do control our media. Thats the problem. They do control it. Theyre getting out of hand, and we demonstrate that in our show. Stephen we had one of your costars nicholas brawn who plays cousin ed, greg the egg last week. Yes. Stephen he seemed a lot like his character. laughter very sweet, very sweet i had real confusion because the first season i used to call him greg, because i got his name wrong, but that was part of the script. The second season, i kept calling him nick, when i should have been calling him greg. And they said, no, brian, its greg, not nick. I said, hes so like the character, i cant tell the difference. laughter stephen please tell me youre nothing like logan roy. Um. laughter applause stephen do you have anything in common with this media mogul . Just contempt. laughter no, no, not really. No, i have nothing in common. Its a complete creation, you know. Stephen i understand that youre from dundee. I am from dundee. Stephen scotland, and so is he. Well, yes, except he wasnt originally. Stephen oh, your character wasnt originally from dundee. No, he was originally÷n from quebec in canada. cheers and applause yes, quebec in canada, and what happened was, it was very funny, what happened was in the ninth episode of the first series, we had already done the pilot, and in the pilot Peter Freedman does my birthday, and he says born in quebec, canada. And he came back and said this is the ninth episode, theyve changed your birth place. I said what do you mean . He said, well, youre born somewhere else. I did some dubbing, and he went to his device and said, here we are, dundee, scotland. And i said, but thats where im from. laughter he said, yeah. And i went to jesse and i said, what do you mean . Why in the ninth episode are you suddenly making me from dundee, scotland . Oh, we thought it would be a nice little surprise for you. I said, well, it certainly is. laughter stephen it makes reference to families. Any member of this family come up to you and say i do or do not like how im portrayed. Have they seen themselves in this . A funny story, i spend some of my time in london, i live in primrose hill. There are lovely cafes there. I was having my coffee sitting there, and a guy from behind said, were loving your show. I said, oh, and i turned and i said, oh, thank you. He said, no, its really its really good. Its really interesting. I said, oh, thank you, thank you. He said, yeah, even my wife thinks its good. My wife likes it. I said, im happy your wife likes it. He said, yeah, she found it difficult as times, and im hoping that youre going to go easy on that character. I said what character . Well, the character to have the daughter. I said, well, who is your wife . He said, elizabeth murdoch. audience reacts stephen so she sees7sn herself. I reassured, keith tyson, an artist agent, i said, really, its nothing like elizabeth murdoch. Ahha. laughter stephen now i understand that the very first readthrough of the script in 2016 happened on an interesting , it td. Stephen when was the first read through . It was election night. This election night. Stephen november 8th, 2016. Yeah, i sort of blotted it from my memory. Stephen yes. It was very bizarre. As i say, the show is ludicrous, and it seemed to me that that night we entered a new age of ludicrousness. Stephen the new time line. The new time line, and i thought, well, this is very apt, this is what our show is about and it seems to be perfectly apt. I wasnt too happy about the election. Was anybody . Stephen i dont think he was. Well, no, i dont think he was. Stephen i think he was shocked. I dont think theres anybody more surprised oh, i won, oh, dear stephen i have to live in this dump . Unbelievable laughter you have dual citizenship. I do. Stephen so you get to vote in our next election. Do you like anybody . Yeah, i like elizabeth warren. cheers and applause stephen you want somebody with a plan. You want somebody with a plan. And you also have an intimate knowledge, now, of one of our great president s of the 20t 20th century, you are in the Vivian Beaumont theater, the great society, youre playing l. B. J. I am. Stephen what is that like . Well, its stephen hes a larger than life figure. Hes a larger than life figure, and its interesting, i have been watching the l. B. J. Tapes, the documentaries on his recordings that he made stephen sure. And there is something quite tragic about him, you know, the fact that he did get through medicare for old people, he did get through civil rights, you know, he did an extraordinary amount, a remarkable, remarkable man, but he also had the vietnam war, and the vietnam war was really his achilles heel and sort of destroyed him because i think he realized that he couldnt go on as president because he couldnt control the vietnam war, it just was getting crazier and crazier and crazier. Stephen brian, thank you so much for being here. My pleasure. Stephen succession, season two starts this sunday on h. B. O. , and soon, the great society. Well be right back with Hannah Gadsby, everybody stick around cheers and applause band playing i cant feel the heat t stop, yet dont let it catch you whoa i cant feel the heat who used expedia to book the Vacation Rental that led to the ride which took them to the place where they discovered that sometimes a little down time can lift you right up. Flights, hotels, cars, activities, Vacation Rentals. Expedia. Everything you need to go. Keep being you. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. 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Liberty. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back ladiess gentlemen, my next guest was just nominated for two emmys for her powerful netflix special nanette. Shes now performing a new show called douglas in new york. Please welcome, Hannah Gadbsy cheers and applause band playing hello. Hello. Stephen nice to have you on. Eth lovely to be here at thez laughter stephen well see how the next few minutes ive got some time. Stephen exactly. Congratulation on your two emmy nominations. Thank you cheers and applause stephen had you been nominated before . No, im not from around here. Stephen have you been nominated for anything . I won a creative writing award in grade three. Stephen thats not easy. It is where im from. Stephen yeah. And i understand youre nominated in the same category as beyonce. Yeah, but i expect jon oliver will win. Stephen yeah, he just weeps. He just weeps. I mean, am i in the same category as beyonce . Stephen yeah, technically, you are. Have you ever met her before . No. No. Stephen are you looking forward . Because she might be there. You might get a chance to meet her. Are you looking forward to that . Well, yeah, i probably wont initiate. laughter stephen youre hoping en she comes over to you. Well leave it up to beyonce, i think thats the only appropriate thing. Stephen belated congratulations on nanette. Yes. Stephen youre very famous, youre very calibrated. Yes. Stephen are you enjoying that aspect . Its new. A lot of its new. Like, i didnt expect to get fame out of nanette flicks, as i like to call it. Cut out the middle man, you know. Stephen exactly. But here it is, my life has changed quite a lot. Stephen you described it as a goodbye standup. Yeah, you dont write a show like that and go, oooh, this is going to be popular. laughter like i did not read the room. laughter stephen evidently you did, though. People were desperate for somebody to or rather they responded to someone being honest and being vulnerable and sharing their experience. It works. I waslp retreating. Beyonce and i are going to be b. F. F. S. This is how it works. Stephen the more you pull away the more she comes toward you. Good luck with that. Ill be out there and watch from a distance. Yeah, keep a distance. Stephen i will, from like a duck blind or something, ill be watching you. That doesnt sound creepy at all. laughter stephen people, as i said, responded to you being willing to share your own intimate experiences, your feelings, the trauma that you had suffered in your life, and you dont you know, about thankfulway through nanette, you lose the sense, the need i have to provide you a punchline behind everything im saying. I want to know, as a professional comedienne, were you fighting an instinct to tell the punchline in creating it, or were you possibly fighting the instinct not to tell a punchline . Which was harder, not telling the punchline or telling the punchline. I have no idea what youve just asked. laughter stephen yeah, im wondering whether you had a strong instinct to go, like, oh, m t because i wantke to try something new. That one. Thats not complicated. Stephen that was your instinct. Yeah. It was really difficult the stand on stage in front of a Live Audience and have tension in the air. When youve got tension, its really easy to make people laugh. And not, em wasting a real wicked here. Its a cricket term, that one. Stephen you lost me there. I need to correct my inferior dialect. Stephen cricket, thats the baseball game that goes on for three days. Yeah, who knew you could make baseball more boring, but you can. laughter stephen you really can. Yeah. Stephen well, now you have a show called douglas. Correct. Stephen douglas. There are punch license in this one . Its hard to say when i mean it, but people are laughing. laughter which im pleased about. Yeah, its kind of interesting for someone to im talking about myself its interestinf to me that, you know laughter im good at words. Its my job. Stephen yes. In my show, i talk about having autism, and i do do some antivax material, which is dangerous, but, so, i encourage people who dont want to vaccinate their children, that instead of having children, they should perhaps get a pet rock. cheers and applause and, so, i have been making pet rocks to sell as merchandise. laughter to sell as merchandise at overinflated prices because ive made them, ive signed them and stephen what is it . Let me do my shpeel. Im not a flexible thinker. laughter anyway, so stephen you signed them. I signed them. Im now matching them to people. So this onesq is chloe, the m. laughter so im selling them for a charity for women and girls with autism, nonbinary folk and anyone in a marginalized gender, which pretty much means everyone except you, stephen. laughter oh, thats rafael. Rafael with side eye. laughter applause thank you. So i take 100 for each, i think. You know, the materials didnt cost much. I dont think you can afford me. Stephen ill take which one would you like . Stephen id like rafael, if you like. Would you just . Stephen yes. Classic. laughter stephen i feel criticized. Oh, do you . Stephen yes. Oh, see, thats tone. I have issue with tone. laughter i meant warmth. My voice said cold. laughter delightful to meet you. Thank you for being here. Stephen douglas is at the Daryl Roth Theater until september 7. Hannah gadsby, everybody well be right back with comedian shane torres. cheers and applause band playing low battery sound. Do you want a charge . Yeah battery charging. Thank you so much. Battery charging. Were going all in thion strawberries. Ra, at their reddest, ripest, they make everything better. Like our strawberry poppyseed salad and new strawberry summer caprese salad. Order online for delivery. Panera. 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Covered by medicare and most major insurers. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a comedian who has performed on conan and comedy central. Give it up for shane torres cheers and applause band playing hello hello . How are you ed sullivan theater, yeah . All right. I know that i am getting older because i have started to make more noise laying down than standing up. laughter that happens somewhere after 30. As soon as my head hits the pillow now, i just laughter heeeeeh just get this day off of me. I turn on my side, i sound like a city bus coming to a stop. Heeeh tttsth. The nextko morning i wake up wih more pain than the night before. How are you sore from rest, fatty . Nobody told me i would be Young Forever but nobody told me it would end so damn fast. It happens quicker than you think. In my 20s, i was a lunatic. Id snort it, shoot it, drink it, screw it, and now if i have cheese i want to lay on a cold floor. laughter it affects me even like i want to go see my physician in my 20s thats a doctor laughter i would go see her and i was so care free then. She would Say Something like, youre doing pretty good, but maybe just lose a few pounds. I would be so optimistic, its okay, doc, here i come, world but i turned. But now life has beaten me pretty good. laughter your laugh is hawpting haunting. When i go see her now i take it personally. Shes, like, you need to lose some weight and im, like, i dont like your damn glasses. Were saying other . My cholesterol is high, your copay is high. How does that feel . None of these nurses like you. I drink less than i ever have. It is still a problematic amount. laughter its the kind of drinking if we went to brunch you would be like who gets scotch with a waffle . laughter i got buddies who are getting sober. You ever had someone do that to your friendship . laughter bleep what a bummer that. What i mean to say is i never had a friend whose associate was less irritating than their addiction was. laughter like, yeah, i had this buddy, hes sober, he caught a touch of christ. laughter but he was the funnest drunk id ever met in my life. Grew up with him in texas, a dude named todd. I would be, like, were going for cocktails tonight. What do you say . Hes, like, yeah, forget Child Support todd is awesome im, like, im having a barbecue. Hes, like, im going to shoot my gun in your pool yeah todd was awesome. Now todd is sober and he is a husk of a man i knew, truly just a turtle without a shell. laughter well, one of the things thats very irritating about todds associate is he now thinks hes better than everybody because he doesnt drink, a real cheeky little jerk. Well be out to dinner and hell Say Something passive aggressive are you really going to have a fifth bottle of wine for dinner . laughter yeah, todd, ill have valium with my carrot cake, im not the one with the problem at the table. All of a sund youre not parking on your neighbors lawn at 4 in the morning, youre better than everybody else. Todd, thats a dumbe dumb ass n. laughter honestly, who the hell looks at a newborn baby not yet having sinned in this world, sees their child draw its first breath and rest its head upon the bosom of its mother and thinks todd . What, do you want it to be dumb . Look, i get it, naming a kid is a bigger responsible than people make it out to be. My best friend who grew up in texas had his first little boy, he named him larry. I met an infant named larry. laughter heres my son, larry if baby. Are you kidding me right now . Is he already 100 years old . laughter my name is dumb, i get it. My name is shane torres. I got that name because my mother was from southern ireland and my father was first generation mexicanamerican. Shane irish, torres the smith of mexican last names and that makes me catholic. This year for lent im giving up hope. laughter could have been so much worse, though. Like if my dad had been irish and my mom had been mexican. Parents would have named he like juan mcdougall. laughter fernando fit fits fitzgibbon thanks you guys very much. I appreciate stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when ill be joined by amanda seyfried. Now stick around for james corden. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org i have been watching s all dal sadness and despair for all those families and people who have been feaked by whats happen affected by what has happenedment i cant imagine what it twoo be like waving at my son or daughter as they leave that day for college, and not