Said he loved it, even though he couldnt see it. Until a young boy stepped forward and said, but, emperor, theres no wall there at all. Andhe ys honesty . No. He called him a loser and immediately had him deported. laughter the end. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes trumps alabama bus. Plus stephen welcomes nick kroll. Former new york city mayor michael bloomberg. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert applause stephen thank you. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Today was a huge day for president trump. In an attempt to get everybody to forget about his recent big failures, he unveiled his next big failure tax reform. One. And in his kickoff speech, he gave a shoutout to his favorite people the forgotten ones. First, we will cut taxes for the everyday, hardworking americans, the people that work so long, so hard. And they have been forgotten. But they are not forgotten anymore. I think we proved that on november 8. Stephen true, we proved a lot on november 8. laughter i proved that one man can drink an entire bottle of bourbon and still remember everything. laughter applause now everything cheers and applause now, for those of you who think trumps new tax plan is full of cuts for the wealthy and big corporations, well, yes. laughter but, like any good reality tv star, trp insums r heme,stere h believe me. Stephen its not good for me. I mean, its about taxes. I never pay those. Nothing to do with me. Its not my bag. I dont do it. A. He dont do it he dont do stephen but trump could really use a win right now because things have not been going his way by any measure. The latest is the alabama g. O. P. Senate primary. President , fight the establishmentbacked senator and shaved hodor, luther strange. laughter trump tweeted his support for strange. He did robocalls, held a rally for him. He went all in well, remember how trump predicted wed get tired of winning . Well, i think hes already there because he lost, badly. A spanking, really. And to make it sting all the more, they lost to Steve Bannons candidate, former judge and westworld robot no one wants to have sex with, roy moore. White house aides say the presidenpresident is embarrassed pissed. Which coincidentally is replacing in god we trust on all u. S. Currency. applause sure, why not. And the proof that hes embarrassed is that trump has deleted his tweets supporting luther strange. Apparently, apparently, donald trump thinks if you delete something from the internet, it is gone. Its also what he thinks happens to john kelly when they play peekaboo. Look, mr. President , dont be ashamed that your candidate turned out to be a loser. Your supporters seem to deal with it pretty well. Nominate a statue of a confederate flag, it looks like roy moore is the next senator from alabama. So, lets get to know mr. Moore in tonights the roy you know. Roy there he is. Roy moore has waged a decadeslong fight against l. G. B. T. Rights in alabama, calling homosexuality an act so heinous that it defies ones ability to describe it. But id love to hear you try. Well, i heard the two fellas rub their junk together until a gay baby comes out. laughter and thats what he heard. Thats what he heard. Thats what he thinks happens. Even its like starting a fire applause i see smoke i see smoke get some tinder blow on it this is, obviously, a stick. This is a stick laughter and even years of will grace reruns have not softened moores position, because, earlier just this year, he suggested 9 11 might have been a punishment for the u. S. Turning away from god, saying that the almighty was upset at the u. S. Because we legitimize sodomy. You got to give him this one, gay people. We do legitimize it. Thats why every time anyone engages in sodomy, they get this cool certificate of sodomy from the franklin mint. cheers and applause ui for f. Exactly. laughter heres how roy moore describes our nations racial divide now we have blacks and whites fighting, reds and yellows fighting. Stephen blacks, whites, reds, and yellows . I hope hes talking about the power rangers. laughter uhhuh. Or jellybeans. Even if you look past the racist language of calling ethnic groups reds and yellows and you shouldnt where does he live where hes constantly seeing native americans and asians fighting each other . laughter because if thats true i got to say, the 2017 reboot of west side story sounds pretty awesome. cheers and applause jon yes applause se sems liteke a tnoroglodyte, e has the soul of a poet. In fact, he wrote this poem quick fact check no one wanders aimlessly on cocaine. laughter they have very specific, unattainable goals, okay . cheers and applause youre my best friend. I love you lets start a business. I want to dance a dancing business woo but first, lets clean the fireplace with a toothbrush laughter laughter and getting the alabama shakes is not the only thing putting trump in a bad mood. Apparently, after his rally to support strange on friday, the president was griping about the size of the crowd and wondering how his pink tie played with his audience. Look, look, guys. E goto b hnest,eom ca little selfreflection here, okay. Somethings wrong. Im achieved nothing. Im the most unpopular president in modern history. Ive deepened americas racialkf thermonuclear conflict. Its got to be the pinkie, right . Should giwith is it the stripes . Are the stripes too much . I dont know. Somebody call the pentagon and brooks brothers. I want both of these guys in here. And trumps not giving up on repeal and replace just yet. The senate has a friday deadline to pass it with 50 votes, and even though they do not have the votes, trump insists they have the votes. I just wanted to say, though, on health care, we have the votes for health care. We have the votes. We have the votes. W, kno y wha you know, were only one off, maybe two. laughter stephen then you dont have the votes thats like a baseball manager saying, you know, we have the home run. Were just one, maybe two bases short. But just hit the ball. cheers and applause so they have the votes, but theyre not going to have a vote, and theres a simple explanation we have the votes. We cant do it now because we have somebody in a hospital. And we have Great Respect for that gentleman, by the way. Hes a fantastic man. We are going to yes, thats why. Why does it matter . Because he has to come here and vote. Reporter sir, who is in the hospital . What senator are you referring to . In other words, he cant come here and vote because hes in the hospital. Stephen you dont even know his name. Theres no one in the hospital. By the way, there is no one in the hospital we checked. Theres no one in the hospital. I totally have a canadian girlfriend. I dont remember her name. Shes in the hospital because we totally had sex. Believe me. In fact, its unclear which senator in the hospital trump is referring to. Well, whoever it is, i just pray theyre not on trumpcare. We have a great show for you tonight. Nick kroll is here. And when we return, the two of us have some advice for americas teens. Ar this. Stick around. On prices so low, no coupons needed get womens tops just 14. 99 plush throws only 9. 99 and kitchen electrics are just 4. 99 after rebate plus get kohls cash wednesday through sunday only at kohls want in on the secret take the olay 28 day challenge. Millions of real women see results starting day 1. There is not a friend i have, that will not own this product visible results or your money back olay. Ageless. 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Other side effects include gas, stomacharea pain and swelling. Talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. Steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. And im an arborist with ipg e in the sierras. The drought in california has killed trees on a massive scale. Any of those trees that fail into power lines could cause a wildfire or a power outage. Public safety is the main goal of our program. Thats why were out removing these hundreds of thousands of hazard trees. Having tools and Technology Gives us a huge edge to identify hazard trees. My hope is that the work were performing allows that these forests can be sustained and enjoyed by the community in the future. Together, were building better california. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Jon batiste and stay human right there. Ladies and gentlemen, im pretted knighted because in a little while im going to be talking to nick kroll. Hes gone to be right over here. Hes got a new cartoon on netflix about the horrors of going through puberty. Its called big mouth. I for one did not realize mouth biggenning was something todays kids had to deal with. And it occurred to me that puberty is an issue i havent really dealt with on my show. And thats unfortunate, because i know that many of you consider me sort of your tv dad. So, i think its time we had the talk. Thats right, dads calling a family meeting cheers and applause hey, champ. Why dont you pop a squat there. Lets chat. How old are you now . 13 . 14 . 35 . God, they grow up so fast. Now, i know it might be a bit weird for you to hear about puberty with your dad, so i brought someone you can relate heeey haha whats up lil cousin bro im also intoon social media stephen okay, sport, i know okay, sport, i know its tough going through puberty so im going to start with the toughest part. Borne patrol. Stephen yes, your body changes. For one thing, you might start to get some hair where there wasnt any before. Yeah, long, coarse, wiry hair, growing right out of your nipples. laughter stephen nick, is that happening to you . Yeah, yeah, i can scrub a pot with my nip hair laughter stephen now, slugger laughter im glad youre here. Good to be here. Stephen so glad youre here. I love you, uncle steve i love you, uncle steve laughter stephen now, slugger, you might soon start to experience body odor. Where you used to smell fresh as a daisy, now youre going to smell like an old baseball glove covered in yogurt. Cover that up with some sick body spray. I use one that smells like Energy Drinks and d. J. Equipment scritchyscratch laughter stephen do not do not huff that. Just remember, its perfectly natural squirt it right in your eyes ui understand. Yeeeah now, champ, its perfectly natural to be ashamed of your body, okay, because whether you want it or not, your private parts may do things, even while youre asleep. Thats right nocturnal emission possible you might dream about a smoking hot babe, your mom with a lioness head. Bottom line is, whatever turns you on, youre going to wake up sticky and relaxed. laughter you know what im talking about, uncle steve . Stephen i dont know what youre talking about. Your bodys going through all these changes so that soon, you will be ready to do the act when two consenting adults get together and slam the ham against the clam. Bopbopbopbopbop. laughter yeah laughter apse wooo wooo bopbopbopbopbop applause stephen yeah, yeah, the hamtoclam slam. See, when two people love each other very much, they do a very special sweaty dance. You dont even have to be in love to make sex. Like me and my girlfriend tara, we barely like each other, and we still got to fifth base. Pow stephen nick, im trying to be good father here. Even if my brother wasnt a good father to you. Too real, uncle steve. But respect for being a figure of stability in my life. applause stephen and i dont want you to think real sex between real people is anything like what y see on the internet. Good point. It takes a lot less time, and the lighting is much worse laughter stephen and, of course, if youre going to do it, you need to have protection. So heres a little rhyme i came h y upse weltoitu p hyo wrap your penis in latex. cheers and applause . Yeah, its true, its true. No doubt. No doubt, uncle steve. Or you can save 10 and just put a tooth whitening strip on your peener. Works great laughter stephen dont do that. Do it. P hlaenugmyeras ise nr stephen really . Yeah. Stephen it works . It works. Stephen it works. You gotta see it smile. laughter stephen nick, nick, you have ever had sex before. No, but my older cousin, jaymie, told me all about it. You know what the craziest part is, that the girls stuff is underneath. Stephen what do you mean . Like, its not on the front. Its underneath. Stephen what do you mean . Our stuff is underneath, too, right . Yours heads straight down. Oh, you gottae a doctor, unclee steve. , ywteanch ayyo tu havent hit your growth spurt. Thats right. Stephen wow, that was fast. Im glad we had this talk. Me too. Hey, uncle steve, can i borrow 20 bucks and some whitening strips. Stephen nick kroll, everybody. Well be right back to talk with nick kroll. Perfect. What is this . Its the new iphone, its for our anniversary. Our anniversary . Its thirtyfour days since we first met. I didnt. Get you anything. Oh its, its fine cuz. I got myselfne t. Oo from you, for me, happy anniversary. I love it. That is very thoughtful of you. Thank you. Get the amazing new iphone 8. And with all at t unlimited plans, get hbo for life. Less than 40 per line for four lines. Only from at t. Hey. What can you tell me about your new Social Security alerts . Oh well alert you if we find your Social Security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so youll be in the know. Ooh. Sushi. Ugh. Being in the know is a good thing. Sign up online for free. Discover Social Security alerts. Cl erle. Ad of automotive excellence for generations. The one car that continually innovates and pushes technology forward. On each sclass, there lies a simple badge. And it serves as our constant reminder, to never rest on laurels, and to forever earn the star. This is the 2018 sclass from mercedesbenz. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to the program. Ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest from kroll show, the league, and oh, hello on broadway. His new netflix cartoon series is called big mouth. Please welcome nick kroll applause wow. I gotta say, i likes your outfit before with the paintsplattered sweats and the backwards hat but you look like the viceroy of india. Thank you thank you stephen not everybody can rock the double breast, man. You know, andm i k se howe g feels. laughter . Stephen nice to see you. I havent seen you since the emmys. You were at the afterparty. I was, indeed. Wonderful job at the emmys. Great job. Stephen got to be naked and everything. Yeah, it must have felt great. Stephen you live in l. A. , riert . I do. Stephen you see famous people all time. All the time. Stephen you guys are like the wall greens theres tom haifngs, jimmy stewart, and beyonce. Tom hanks getting valtrex. Stephen you say, theres a famous person. I want to met though im famous. The most exciting people i met at your party, your afterparty, was your children. I got to hang out with your kids but i was kind of drunk. And i was like, is this wrong to be drunk in front of stephens children . Stephen no, no, no. Anything goes. Anything goes at the emmy afterparty. And i might have tried to sell them coke. And i apologize about that. Stephen has to happen sometime. Exactly. Stephen i rather it comes from a friend. Thank you stephen thank you its the good stuff. Stephen thank you. Oh, my god. It was my pleasure. Stephen youre a good man youre a good man. And can i tell you they did it like pro s. Stephen good, good. Their mom would be so happy. So happy to hear this on national tv. Yeah, yeah. Stephen well, okay, your new show is called big mouth. Yes. Stephen ive got a photo here that i think is part of the inspiration. You can tell me where the idea of the show came, and then i will show the people the photo. The show is based on me and my best friend since childhood, andrew goldberg. He ended up being a writer and producer for family guy. And i was on the hit show cave men. Stephen were you one of the cave men . I was one of the cave men. Stephen i did not know you were one of the cave men . Not on the tv commercial people likes. On the tv show people hated. But stephen wow yes, but he and i created crd this show together with our friends mark levin and jen flakett. Stephen how old are you in this photo . 13 years old. If people can get a closeup on that. There we are. Stephen this is you. That is me. Im wearing the literally, exact same suit. I am wearing another doublebreasted gold suit. And so andrew, we were best friends. We really formed each others sensibilities. But andrew got ravaged by puberty. Stephen it hit him first . It hit him hard and young. Im gog say this on National Television because its on the show so i apologize. Andrew, i love you. But andrew, during a slow dance with a girl at a bar mitzvah may have. Uh ejaculated in his pantsz. Stephen now, is this a story that he tells publicly . laugh . Not anymore laughter no, its its but its on the show. Stephen really, wow . Its in the show. So i feel like its fair to say. And hes now married to a wonderful woman, has two great kids, so i think it all worked out. Stephen thats in the show . Yes, its in the show. Stephen its a cartoon, obviously gee, yes. Stephen is this a cartoon parents should sit down and watch with their children . Stephen, im going to leave that up to each individual parents. I think its very very dirty, but i also stephen and honest. And honest. Its talking about the stuff that is really hard to talk about. And i think a lot of that for me is puberty is a really scary thing, and i think most people feel like theyre going through it alone. But the truth, is every single one of us goes through puberty, and goes through this range of crazy emotions and feelings. Your body is changing. We tried to make i show that reflects that. Its kind of like the sex ed video i wish i had gotten to see. But, also, like, filthy. laughter . Stephen speak of that, we have a wem ghaoivengli to ac tell you is absolutely true. Cbs told us that the clip was too vulgar to show. So we heavily edited the clip. We, like, bleepped and blurred and everything. And they said, no, no, thats still too dirt tow show. But were going to show it anyway. Set this up for us. applause . This is our friend we were talking about our friend jessi, who is joyced by the i had clairs jessi klein, who just that day has become a woman. Stephen again, all you are about to see is all we could show you. So, did you know that blee bleep . Its really, honestly crazy. I mean what, would you do if bleep once a month judge oh, my. I dont know. Why would you put that image in my head . What would you do . One time i ate a bunch of roasted beats and then when i bleep and i thought bleep and i was like oh, no. Right. And then i was like, oh, yeah. I ate beats. So. I dont think thaentht e,. applause its still pretty good. Thank you. Stephen thats still pretty damn good, even without knowing anything. Tttend wses th banmu wt you blu srredo ch o. Stephen now, youre also trying to get other celebrities to post awkward puberty pictures of themselves. Yeah. I think its such a again, that time is so awkward, wieng we need to theres catharsis in showing who we were and what we became and i would love to encourage celebrities if you, stephen, had photos of yourself at that age. Stephen i can jump in on that . Yes, i cant wait. Stephen this is me at that age. Oh oh cheers and applause look how thick that knot is stephen well, i can tell you whats going on with this knot is i just came from the gym, which is why my hair was wet and i forgot it was photo day. And the photographer a 60yearold large man, gave me his jacket and his tie. Thats why the knot is the size of my face. laughter . Its great stephen im going to tweet this out. Ill start this with the hashtag puberme. And i encourage all other celebrities. Im shouting you out, the rock im shouting you up on the the hillary clinton. Stephen lets make this interesting, okay. Lets make this interesting. I have an ice cream fund, a charitable fund. The ar evmy ceicleebritecy onthp a puberty picture of when theyre 13 and put up puberme and ill decide what a celebrity is, thank you. laughter ill give a donationom fr americone ice cream fun and it depends how many people doll it because i only have so much money in the fund. And i will match that. Stephen and to puerto rico hurricane relie thats exactly it. Perfect, done. Stephen i dont know how much money there is. We will do our best. Big mouth is this friday on netflix, everybody. Watch this watch this watch this whatwisted ankle . L ask what muscle strain . Advil makes pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. With incredible flavors, like new Nashville Hot shrimp crispy, spicy, and drizzled with sweet amber honey. Plus the delicious classics you love, like garlic shrimp scampi. Try all the shrimp you want, however you want em. But hurry, it ends soon. Its about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. They got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. chuckling or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. laughing or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. laughing left and right twix® packs. Its time to deside. applause welcome back. Folks, my next guest is a billionaire philanthropist and the former former mayor of new york city. Hide your 20ounce sodas, and give a big welcome to michael bloomberg. applause stephen nice to see you again. And nice to see you. Stephen do you still like the mr. Mayor . Do you get that the rest of your life . My kids dont call me that. Stephen your slensy. Your honor. I told my grandson he could called me, sir. Stephen sir michael, youre founder of the bloomberg l. P. , and philanthropies. Estimated worth, 47 billion. But who, sir, is this guy . laughter cheers and applause if i had to guess, that was about five years after puberty. laughter stephen is pube dee different for further billionaires or is it just as rough . Its been a long time. Stephen now, well skip over that, then. The 2016 election, there was a lot of talk, a lot of rumors that you were thinking about running. Were you seriously considering . Yeah, sure. Stephen okay, you evidently did not see a path to victory. Well, my advisers told me that a new york billionaire whos changed parties a number of times couldnt be elected. laughter so i fired them. cheers and applause stephen do you have any regrets . Because, you know, people said that about trump, as you just alluded to. Do you have any regrets that you didnt run . No, i never look back. Stephen is it okay that we have regrets that you didnt run . laughter applause cheers my peeps. Stephen your peeps are in the house is what youre saying . Enyoebo rige th he. Er you wroh carl pope, former president of the sierra club. And it is called climate of hope. Where is the climate of hope . And what is it . Where is the hope . Well, the hope is here. We can make a difference. Its something we really should worry about. Stephen you mean climate change. Climate change, and whether or not it happens, nobody knows, but you should attack an insurance policy out. And if it looks like it might do damage, now is the teem to take steps and attack a look. The oceans are warming and rising, and you see these term storms that have kelds number of people and dones lot of damage in florida and texas and puerto rico and the crebbian. And with warmer oceans, youre going to get more of those. Stephen nowing, many of the people who deny Global Warming say that its some sort of hoax or a moneymaking scheme scheme. From a businessmans point of view, why should a businessman believe in Global Warming . Well, it doesnt matter. Theres a resk, and a business person would take appropriate protections. You dont think youre going it die, but you still buy a Life Insurance policy. And businesses have to worry about if they got flooded out, how they would continue ther business. How ther employees would get to work or get home or worry about their families and that sort of thing. So its a very serious thing. And the science says things are getting warmer, and they will continue to get warmer unless we reduce the amount of greenhouse gases. And so the federal government has decided to do nothing, the citizens, whether they areub come oft companies or individuas or local governments have saed, okay, were going to attack it into our own hands and were going to cut our greenhouse gases. And america has actually been leading the way. We have closed half of our coalfeared power plants. The sierra club went out and pected andquenced people power plants to convert to natural gats, which is much or renewables. And we are going to meet our goals that we agreed to in percent, even without the federal government. And we only have to. cheers and applause y. Stephen while no one can say for certain what create a hurricane, its too complex of a system, there is a fair amount of consensus that storms are intensifying because there is more energy in the system. Correct. Stephen oceans are warmer, which feeds these storms. Yes. Stephen theres been criticism for a slow and adequate response to whose happened in puerto rico. I know you went down to the Virgin Islands after irma went through there. Is it up to the private sector to help with natural disasters now that the government is slow to respond . I wouldnt say it is up to us. Governments are big and it takes them a while to get on the scene and start helping people. In the meantime, the private sector can do things very quickly, because they dont have all the bureaucracy. And i think its we have an obligation, as fellow human beings, and particularly, if its inhe american Virgin Islands or puerto rico, american territories, or in texas or miami or wherever, to come to an rmb 9, tshe we ad. I had the 3,000 people kid and two big buildings come down, and the potential to destroy our economy, the country in fact the world as well came to new yornewyorks aid. And i think youve seen in new york, the governor sent down National Guard troops down to help in puerto rico. I took down some medicines, which Johns Hopkins donated to st. John and st. Thomas. We have a bunch of people who worked for us in hurricane sandy, which we put on a plane and flew them down right away. One of my partners has a house down there, so on the ground we knee what was going on. We can help. And after a while the federal government comes in and takes over the big cleanup job. Stephen the new book is called climate of hope. Its out now. The man is michael bloomberg, everybody. Thanks. Well be right back with tim and eric. Its here kohls lowest prices of the season prices so low, no coupons needed get mens crew neck tops just 12. 99 girls leggings only 4. 99 and the big one bath towel is just 29 plus get kohls cash wednesday through sunday only at kohls when you drop a 603horsepower v8 biturbo engine into one of mercedesbenzs finest luxury sedans, what do you get . [ engine stalls ] you get out of the way. 0to60 in 3. 3 seconds. The mercedesamg e63 s sedan. Except for every ladies night. Vegetarian. Only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. So whatever you throw in the bag. Stays in the bag. Be happy, its glad. Steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. Tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right, netflix on us. Get four unlimited lines for just forty bucks each. And now, netflix included. So go ahead, binge on us. Another reason why tmobile is americas best unlimited network. Hi. So i just got off the phone with our allstate agent, and i know that we have accident forgiveness. R withhaout the car. Tha okay, yep. Good night. With accident forgiveness, your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Switching to allstate is worth it. Your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Behold the power of energizer® ultimate lithium™. Music the 1 longestlasting battery. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea heres pepto bismol ah. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea applause stephen welcome bark everybody. My next guests are an extremely influential comedy duo whose absurd brand of humor youve seen in countless shows on adult swim. Please wtiehmeelidm , recheke applause stephen hey. Hey, thanks so much. applause all right hello laughter . Hi hi, everybody stephen so, tim, eric, thanks for being here. Thank you. Thanks for having us. Its an honor. laughter an honor to be here. Stephen so. laughter its beautiful. Stephen whats, uh, whats with the whats with the clown stuff . Oh, well i didnt know we were going to get into this . laughter i dont know. A lot of people probably know this i dont know if you know this. Ive been going through a really tough divorce. Ive been going through sighs i didnt want to get into this. But its been a really rough couple of months with my wife and the kids. I tried treating it. I triedtoed d mioen,attie it. And when it comes down to it, the one thing in this whole world that gives me any kind of joy is clowning around with my best friend eric warheim, who is here with me tonight. Isnt that something we do it together and when i feel blue, he knows what to do. Try it. He gives me a tickle. Watch this laughing . Stephen eric, you do you get as much out of this as he does . Do you enjoy this . Well, i love my friend. I want him to feel good, but weve been doing this going on werehte its getting to the point, uh, dressing up every day its a big much, and i hope he can get over the divorce. Its not too much in my opinion. Im enjoying every minute of it, because its fun. Everyone loves a clown, right . Stephen people love clowns. Were having fun. Stephen yeah. laughter so have you guys been working on like extra clown work, like do a clown show or anything like that . Yeah. Hes sort of not into it, okay. But were basically developing a broadway show called tim and eric a clown town which will be on broadway, hopefully by next year. Stephen this is a broadway theater right here. In a way. But this is sortex lve o wf,eik one o l those showsrt that we eventually tour and take around the world and everything. Stephen uhhuh. And its a beautiful show because it mixes the myrth, and excitement and wonder of clowning around with true warwick for kids on how to deal with divorce and how to laughter and its i think its what people need right now. Because i know my wifes watching now the bitch. And i want her to i can just stephen sure, right there. This one here . Ive got the kids. Ive got the kids laughter stephen thats it . Thats all you wanted to say . Thats message. She doesnt know. She walked out about two months ago, so she doesnt know whats going on. Anyway, would you like to see a little we could probably do stephen oh, very much. Would you like to see a little clown. Tim and eric clown town. All right, everybody lets go lets hear it, everybody lets hear it oh, my gosh look at you hi its so go here to be in the big apple, the city that never sleeps. Just like my wife. She nevers. She actual she busy onlineeple g sit with every guy she meets on the internet. Thats actually i smrry, y j. Hey, hey, everyone, did you than its tims birthday today it is . I forgot i forgot youbett than last birthday. Last birthday, i went out back to my home office, shedandound wif whii osurth i a neighbor. And they were back there and. laughter well, listen, tim, we got you a birthday surprise. Me do you want a present . You got me a birthday surprise close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay, ill close my eyes. What could it be. Here it comes. Heres your birthday surprise. Everybody, one, two, three h bleep bleep . You all right . Broke my nose. What . Are you okay . Yeah, i broke are you serious . Steve, do you have a medic kit over here . Is there i have a first aid. Can we reset to one . Sorry, guys. Pause. Stephen do you guys need to do that again . We would love to start from scratch at the top of the show. Stephen do we have time for . Atlyh sorry im sorry, gu. Were going to have to bring this back to one. Hold mr. Bloomberg. I got you. Okay. I got you. I know nicks back there. You ready . Im really sorry. Stephen why dont you have a seat. Well clean this up. And you have a seat. Its really throbbing. Juaknd d ts hitill you catch your breath there for a second laughter . Its i cant see i cant see anything. Stephen your eyes your eyes are closed right now. laughter hold your head up, hold it up. Stephen you have a show called bedtime stories. Yeah, tim and erics bedtime stories. The Season Finale is on sunday. Everyone tune in to a twopart special, its called butter. Tim and i play a lesbian couple that adopt about 10 children. We churn butter and teach them about knicknacks and butter making. Stephen okay, thats great. I hope you feel good better. Waeshed go to the hospital. Stephen the Season Finale of bedtime stories airs this sunday on adult swim. Tim and eric, everybody well be right back. Are you okay . Because everyone likes easy. Sure do. Because everyone is on the go. Because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. Reaching up. Ssssh because sometimes we want it cool at night, then toasty in the mornings. Introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. E is for everyone. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be steve martin, mark feurstein, and a performance by steve martin and the steep canyon rangers. Now, stick around for james corden and his guests. Billie lourd, maggie gyllenhaal, and tim roth. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show ladies and gentlemen, all the way