And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause band playing stephen very nice. Hey, everybody how are you . Hi, jon, good to see you audience chanting stephen piano riff stephen thanks, everybody thank you so much cheers and applause welcome to the late show. Please have a seat. Thank you so much, everybody. Well, folks, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is its russia week, and i just want to get out ahead of the story here. I recently met with a lot of russians. I cant remember why. Maybe because i was in russia. Oh, some of them worked for the government. This week, well be showing you one russian field piece. Sorry. I meant to say two russian my lawyers are telling me five russian field pieces. I didnt think youd find out. The whole week was supposed to be a secret but someone leaked it to cbss marketing department. I didnt. Anyway, russias coming up later in the show. Meanwhile, back in the United States, russia. Folks, things are not looking good for president son and storebrand billy baldwin, donald trump, jr. , because of a meeting he took last year with russian lawyer natalia veselnitskaya. And now weve learned that there was another russian at that meeting, russian lobbyist rinat akhmyetshin. Funny detail hes reportedly a former soviet counterintelligence officer. Of course, when it comes to don, jr. , theres not much intelligence to counter. Now, heres the deal cheers and applause piano riff now, akhmyetshin denies any current ties to russian spy agencies. It must be true. Remember the first rule of spy club tell everyone youre in spy club. laughter point is, thats just another lie because, last week, don, jr. Didnt mention this russian guy. No, he said this this is everything. This is everything. Stephen this is everything. Must have slipped his mind. With all that hair gel, things just slide out. piano riff laughter so there was a fifth person we didnt know about. Then we found out there was also a sixth person. Six thats more people than are currently working at trumps e. P. A. laughter who was the sixth person . We dont know. Im guessing the guy who had to keep bringing chairs into the conference room. Now, no ones saying there were seven people in the meeting because, turns out, there were at least eight people in the room. Eight and thats not even counting the other russians that are nested inside of them laughter now applause keep in mind, don, jr. s defense this entire time has been that he wanted to collude with russia but got nothing. Therefore, innocent . But you know who doesnt remember it that way . laughter cheers and applause rinat akhmyetshin. cheers and applause akhmyetshin claims that natalia, the russian lawyer, gave don a plastic folder with printedout documents that detailed what she believed was the flow of illicit funds to the democrats. Okay, they never met with russians, but turns out they did. But all they talked about was adoption, but it turns out they talked about colluding, but the one russian didnt give them any documents, but it turns she did and it wasnt one russian, it was five. This is the first time a trump has lied about having a smaller crowd size. laughter meanwhile applause meanwhile, donald trump has added another lawyer to his team, former federal prosecutor and man hiring the three stooges to move a piano, ty cobb. Yes, thats really his name. Hes related to the old baseball player. So who is trumps new lawyer and model train magazines 2010 bad boy of the year, ty cobb . Well, according to the bio on his firms website, ty cobb gets results the oldfashioned way, which, presumably, is also how he gets his mustache wax and homemade root beer. But cobb is no slouch. And by he i mean saltwater taffy mascot, ty cobb. Hes won huge legal cases including when he successfully defended a beef processor against charges of lying to investigators. That was very generous of cobb to help out a rival cattle baron. But just because hes ruthless in the court room doesnt mean that there isnt a soft side to trump lawyer and Lollipop Guild strike breaker, ty cobb. For example, he was described by cnn legal analyst Michael Zeldin as a genuinely nice man. Of course, its not surprising that youd get a nice vibe from trump lawyer and rejected westworld saloon keeper, ty cobb. Today, his new client, donald trump, unveiled made in america week. Possibly to distract from the fact that his campaign was made in russia. One of the products made in america that he highlighted was a big shiny fire truck and the president , of course, could not resist getting in. laughter wheres the fire . We havent found the fire, yet, mr. President , but theres more smoke every day. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. cheers and applause band playing al gore is here. But when we return, im in russia stick around. Introducing the new moto z with moto mods. Hello moto. 321 liftoff gasps oh cheering buy the new moto z with shattershield, and youll get a free projector mod. Hello moto. Its about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. They got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. chuckling or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. laughing or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. laughing new left and right twix® packs. Its time to deside. Poallergies . Reather. Stuffy nose . Cant sleep . Take that. 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Vo only at jack in the box. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody jon batiste and stay human right there cheers and applause well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. As you can see, its russia week here at the late show, which is part of russia four years here in america. Because ever since trumps election, everyone has been talking about russia. Its in all the papers, its on tv, its in the self incriminating emails we tweet for some reason. In fact, to get away from the russia Election Hacking story, youd have to travel all the way to whatever country produces fox and friends. But despite all the russia talk, we know almost nothing about what average russians think. So i thought, someone should go to russia and find out. And then i thought of the perfect person not me. Because, and this is true, my executive producer chris over there back in december said, hey, do you want the take a trip to russia . And i said, absolutely not. laughter and he said, what if i just found out how much it would cost to go . I said, well, that couldnt hurt anything. The next thing i knew, i was in moscow. laughter the trip was amazing. The russian people were incredibly friendly and welcoming. In fact, there were teams of them following me about a block behind wherever i went in case i needed something i guess. I talked to the people on the street, i spent a day with Russian Oligarch mikhail prokerov, i met with a Russian Security expert and putin dissident. I even stayed in the ritz carlton president ial suite. Yes, that one. laughter cheers and applause yes. Very nice. Very nice. piano riff applause i wore a hazmat suit. laughter well have all of that all this week, and tonight, our first piece from beautiful st. Petersburg. Stephen when you think of russia, you think of one thing late night comedy. Ivan urgant is russias most popular and only late night talk show host. He was gracious enough to invite me on as a guest of evening urgant. But before i took to the kremlinsanctioned airwaves of staterun television. I first wanted to hit the streets of st. Petersburg to learn a little bit about the russian sense of humor. Whats like a classic russian joke . The crow flies. Stephen the crow flies. And it smacks into the stop sign. Stephen oh, the crow smacks into the stop sign. And then it says, schlagbaum, baum baum. Its the sound of hitting the stop sign. And thats the word that indicates the stop sign itself. Stephen oh, so the stop sign makes the sound of the stop sign. Of the crow hitting the stop sign. Stephen okay. Now that ive heard from the people, i wanted to hear from my comrade in late night. So i sat down with ivan urgant himself to discuss the obstacles he faces doing comedy in russia. Okay, so lets talk about like restrictions. Are there things you can and cannot say on your show . Do you feel comfortable doing politics on your show . Nlltoy cho mu pitolics. We do some. Rot stephen do you talk about trump on your show . From time to time. Stephen because we talk about him all the time. Yeah, thats why you guys are number one now in the states. Thank you, mr. President. Stephen thank you very much. So were more close to fallon, than to john oliver. Stephen does putin watch your show . No, i dont know. Ask him about putin. Ask him about putin. Is he like to sit naked on a horse . I wont say it stephen that i know of i was finally ready to make my russian debut. Stephen introducing Stephen Colbert stephen i love the russian people. translated why do you love russian people . How come you suddenly started loving us . Stephen because theyre so friendly. Theyre so friendly, theyre so welcoming. I was out on the streets last night here in st. Petersburg. translated thats your very first visit to russia . Youve never been to russia before . Stephen this is the first time ive ever been in russia. I translated youve never been to the soviet union . Stephen id like a lawyer present before i answer that. laughter i want to tell you, i am so honored to be here right now because you are the number one show here and this is the state tv, so you are officially the employee of the state. And we agreed that i will be on the show. We whats the word for it we colluded that i would be on the show, and so i look forward to going back to america and testifying before the Senate Intelligence committee about colluding with russians. Thank you for that opportunity. translated the thing is, look, theres a lot going on between our countries. But we have to be friends. We have to be friends. But before we can be friends, here in russia, we must quarrel or to put it simply, to fight. Hit me. laughter applause now we can be friends. Please take a look what i got for you. Stephen, Stephen Stephen yes . translated this is the segment and the game called the russian russian roulette. Please. Stephen whats this . translated we spin, you take the shot that the arrow points to. And then lets toast we like to toast here in russia. You toast russia, and i will toast america. Lets try. Stephen oh, id love to, id love to. What do we do with the pickles . applause translated no, no, no, no. You will find out in the process. You will return a different man to america, a different man. Your life will change. Come on, spin. Well, go ahead. Please. Okay, easy. Thats it. Uhhuh. Well, probably this one. Please. Take it out carefully. Well, say a toast, drink, and then ill show you what to do with the pickles. Stephen to the beautiful and friendly russian people. I dont understand why no members of the Trump Administration can remember meeting you. cheers and applause stephen. And now right away, right away, right away you eat it. Thats it. Excellent. Give me this shot. Stephen is this all vodka . Well, naturally. Stephen then why do we spin it . Because its the russian russian roulette stephen so every single one of them is a bullet . Of course welcome to russia, Stephen Stephen this is suicide. translated id like to drink, id like to toast the wonderful country america, the United States, which invented internet, thanks to which we can influence the outcome of the president ial elections in the u. S. cheers and applause stephen by the way oh, you just smelled it . translated yes, yes, yes. Stephen okay, smells wonderful. Can i announce something . translated please. Stephen i am here in russia. This is not showing in the United States . translated well, it depends they show it at trump tower. laughter applause stephen okay. But he doesnt remember. laughter and i am here to announce that i am considering a run for president in 2020. cheers and applause translated stop, stop, stop. Stephen and i thought it would just be better to cut out the middle man and just tell the russians myself. If anyone would like to work on my campaign in an unofficial capacity, please just let me know. translated stephen, stephen, you have just ended the game. Since youve announced it yourself we were actually expecting you to do that after we drink all of it i cant deny myself the pleasure to drink with the future president of the United States. To you, stephen. I wish you luck. We will do Everything Possible on our end to help you become the president. Stephen spasibo a strong america, a strong russia Stephen Colbert stephen before i left, i wanted to leave my late night comrade with a cherished gift. There was a crow, a black bird, a crow. And it was flying through the sky, and as it came to land it hit a schlagbaum. And the sign made the sound baum baum baum baum baum. This is one of the most funniest jokes ive ever heard in my life. Stephen thank you. Stephen thank you, ivan well be back with Vice President al gore, stick around cheers and applause electric Light Orchestra ] sailin away on the crest of a wave, its like magic rollin and ridin and slippin and slidin its magic introducing the all new volkswagen tiguan. Higher and higher, baby the new king of the concrete jungle. With at t you can get your entertainment right here. Right now, when you get the incredible iphone 7 from at t you can get unlimited data and live tv. The channels you love. Your favorite shows and movies. Making your iphone into more of a. Oh my tv is ringing. Hey. Im in the middle of a. A second iphone from at t . Okay right now when you buy a new iphone 7 from at t youll get a second iphone 7 on us. And power both with unlimited data and live tv. How was your vacation . Hey, guys, whats this tomato doing at randys desk . [all coworkers laugh] hahahahaha. You know, that actually reminds me, steve. I got you something. Aloha mangoes can get sunburned. 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And a whole lot more. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, my first guest has won a grammy, a nobel peace prize, and the popular u. S. Vote. cheers and applause his new film is an inconvenient sequel. Youre in georgetown which is the reddest city and county in texas and im a conservative republican. Okay. But, you know, our duty to our rate payers is to provide them with the lowest possibility utility cost. Money talks. But doesnt it make sense from a common sense standpoint, the less stuff you put in the air, the better it is . Yeah. I mean, common sense. You dont need scientists to debate that. Can i use that line . Absolutely. laughter somebody get a picture of me and mr. Vice president. Now, this is not an endorsement, as you can well imagine. Stephen please welcome, former Vice President al gore. cheers and applause band playing stephen thank you so much for joining us tonight. Its great to be part of russia week. Stephen it is. It is. Speaking of which, i found out recently that youve got a very interesting history when it comes to Illicit Campaign help. laughs in 2000, you were prepping for the debates against george w. Bush yeah. Stephen and i understand you got the debate prep book or someone in your campaign did . Yeah, someone had stolen it, evidently, from the Bush Campaign and mailed it to my close friend tom downey who was going to be the bush standin and debate prep. Stephen right. It wasnt mailed from moscow, but it was mailed from texas, somebody very unhappy with the Bush Campaign. Stephen but you didnt keep it. No, we immediately turned it over to the f. B. I. cheers and applause and tom recused himself from the whole debate process. Stephen now, did you think about the option of keeping it, winning the election and then blaming the whole thing on the secret service . laughter didnt occur to me at the time, but in retrospect no. laughter stephen you met putin in the 90s . In the 90s. He was deputy mayor of st. Petersburg. The mayor was a former law professor, and Vladimir Putin was in charge of making sure all the details went right. Stephen what kind of impression did you get of the guy . Well, he seemed competent, but if somebody had told me at that point that he was going to be president of russia, i would have said, wow, im not i mean, i didnt really interact with him all that much, but he didnt immediately jump out as a future president. Stephen and if someone told you donald trump would be president of the United States, what would you reaction have been at the time . Yeah, less likely, absolutely. laughter applause stephen i want to point out here, for the younguns, we have a young demo here. 17 years ago when you did not become president of the United States, you went off alone for a while. Yes. Stephen and you changed your look. You famously grew a beard, you got hipster before hipster was hip. Yeah. Stephen would you recommend this to all of us . Should all of america just grow a beard and try to get over this . 18 of the American People really liked that look a lot, yeah. laughter stephen was there polling at the time . No, im kidding. Stephen was there polling at the time . applause but i dont want to dissuade you from trying it, stephen. Stephen ive tried it. I cant do it. Its a little patchy. laughter now you are the only other living candidate who won the popular vote and did not become president to have the United States. Did you speak to mrs. Clinton after this . I did. I spoke to her after the election. Shes going to be fine. The country is another matter. laughter stephen if you can, did you give her any advice on how to deal with the ridiculous situation at a certain level . You just move on. She didnt need my advice. Just move on, thats what i did, and looked for other ways to serve. Stephen obviously, you threw yourself into educating people about Global Warming, what was happening to our climate. Now, ten years after an inconvenient sequel, our President Trump has pulled out of the paris peace accords. Does that worry you and your friends who know about Global Warming . I worried it would be a disastrous move. But all the other countries in the world doubled down and said were going to do more. And even here in the u. S. , a lot of our most important governors and Business Leaders said were still in the Paris Agreement and were going to meet the commitments of the country regardless of what donald trump tweets. cheers and applause piano riff stephen if im not mistaken, did you get a chance to talk to donald trump about this before he pulled out . I did. I went to trump tower after the election, and that was not the only conversation i had with him, and i thought that there was a chance he would come to his senses, but i was wrong. Stephen well, does it when you hear that a piece of ice has broken off, an ice shelf in antarctica about the size of delaware, do you think thats a direct attack at joe biden and the state of delaware . I guess my question is why is ice always measured in the size of u. S. Eastern seaboard states . Is that a Significant Development or just more par for the course . Well, its significant as a sign of what is happening to antarctica as a whole. This particular ice shelf, its already floating, so it wont raise sea level, but if the others behind it also come off, that could release more land based ice that would raise sea level, and a significant part of west antarctica has already crossed a point of no return. Stephen what does that mean, no return . Im asking for a friend who has a beach house. I understand. The ice scientists say, unfortunately, there will be continued sea level rise, but we still have the ability to have an impact on how long that takes and whether or not other big parts of antarctica melt in turn because, if they did, we would lose a lot of coastal cities in the u. S. And around the world. Stephen well, the new film is an inconvenient sequel truth to power. Normally a sequel two movie is a sign it was successful. Is it a sign it wasnt successful because we need a sequel to this one . Should we have done more by now . I guess thats what im asking. We should have done more, yes, but 18 months ago there was an historic breakthrough with the agreement in prix paris where just about everybody in the world agreed to bring pollution down to zero in the early part of the second century and thats encouraging. We have made progress. The other exciting thing is the cost of electricity from solar panels and wind mills has come down incredibly fast and, in many areas, its now cheaper than electricity from burning fossil fuels. Batteries are coming down in cost and electric vehicles are becoming more popular, so we have a lot going for us. We can and will solve this but the real purpose of this movie is to encourage everybody to get involved whos interested to help solve this. Learn about it, go to the movie, get the book, go to the web site, www. Inconvenientsequel. Com, and then use your vote and voice in conversation on climate, and when candidates ask for your support, tell them this is important to me, and depending on their position, tell them you are be for them or do everything in your power to defeat them. applause stephen youve got to go but most important question. Yeah. Stephen weve got to go, but the most important question i could ask is i know a lot of young people feeling hopeless about this and they read articles and magazines or see interviews on tv and hear it is too late you know, dont even have kids because you will only help destroy the planet and there will be no future for them. Is there hope, al gore . Absolutely. Go see the movie. You will see there is tremendous hope. We are going to win this. The only question is how long it will take, and to young people in particular, i really recommend this movie as a date movie. laughter its a hot date movie. Its an amazingly hot date movie. Stephen because if the end of the world is coming, you might as well hook up with me. laughter thank you so much, mr. Vice president. An inconvenient sequel, truth to power, in select theaters july 28 and nationwide on august 4. Al gore, everybody well be back with issa rae stick around this is lynchburg, tennessee. This is how many people were born here. This many are fifth generation. This is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. He keeps the town dry. Theyd prefer it a little wet. This many are proud of what we make here. This is how many will go around bragging about it. This is our town. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. We send them all over. They look like this. We send them all over. Take the zantac it challenge pill works fast . Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. When heartburn strikes, take zantac for faster relief than nexium or your money back. Take the zantac it challenge. Hey. What can you tell me about your new Social Security alerts . Oh well alert you if we find your Social Security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so youll be in the know. Ooh. Sushi. Ugh. Being in the know is a good thing. Sign up online for free. Discover Social Security alerts. I am a First Responder tor and iemergencies 24 hours a day, everyday of the year. My children and my family are on my mind when im working all the time. My neighbors are here, my friends and family live here, so its important for me to respond as quickly as possible and get the power back on. Its an amazing feeling turning those lights back on. Be informed about outages in your area. Sign up for outage alerts at pge. Com outagealerts. Together, were building a better california. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody folks, my next guest went from creating a youtube series about her life to creating an hbo series about her life. Please welcome, the star of insecure, issa rae cheers and applause band playing hi. Nice to meet you. You got me through college. Stephen did i really . Yeah, id give you my diploma but i never picked it up. Stephen you can clear something up for me. I have a question about you. That is you had a popular youtube series called the misadventures of awkward black girl. Yes. Stephen you seem like a selfpossessed africanamerican woman. What makes you an awkward black girl . Just life. Feeling uncomfortable at all times. I grew up in predominantly white neighbors and stephen me, too. I can understand. Im african and american, it was always a state of transition. A lot of people try to bridge the gap, having conversations with white coworkers, things like that, they always try to find a connective tissue with us. I would be bonding with someone. Stephen you and i. Doesnt get any whiter. You and i were talking. I thought we had a moment, and all of a sudden, you were like, and girl you put on a black accent stephen let me ask you a question girl please do not do that. Dont start sentences with, hey, do black people dont do that. Stephen because they dont . I dont know. I dont know what other black people do. I dont. Stephen you can ask me about white people if you want. Do white people stephen nope. Hmm mmm. laughter youve gone from youtube to an hbo show. Now that its a little bit of a higher profile being on hbo. They market you, you know, they want you not to be able to walk down the street. They want you to be famous. Has that been different for you going out there being seen and recognized everywhere you go . It just feels like im popular in high school, if anything. Its not really, like im not really well known. Stephen after tonight, you will be extremely well known. Thank you. Stephen its over. applause if you have any vices, get them done between now and the time the show broadcasts. Good to know. Stephen yeah. Helping my friend return something that bloomingdales and i was standing by the cashier, being bored. And the cashier was, like, wait, wait i know you i love you so much i love your music i was, like, who do you think i am . And she thought i was a beautiful rapper and i said, no, thank you for the compliment, shes beautiful. Two minutes later, this person comes up to me and says, yo i love you so much and the cashier didnt hear the beginning part. She said, i love you so much, i love your show, can i take a picture with you . And the cashier saw me taking the picture and said, bitch, did you lie to me . I said, no, im a different person. Im sorry. laughter stephen i get a lot of, i love you, steve carell. Im, like, im not him. I wish i was. Now, this is based on your own life, this series . Its partially based off of experiences and a lot of my friends. I honestly just wanted to create something i felt like was relatable and was something kind of for us by us. Stephen we have a clip here. Can you tell me whats happening in this one . So we opened the season with my character who is also named issa. Going and adventuring into the dating world and feeling like it gets a bit redundant after a while. Stephen okay. Jim . Where are you from . Honestly, doesnt matter what i say because this isnt going anywhere. Yeah. Im into burritos now. High school kids . Sounds tough. You like working with kids . Hows it working with kids . To be honest, bleep . But im trashed, too, so. So how long have you been unhinged . How long you been on boom . How are you still single . applause stephen i understand that a music consultant or supervisor on your show is Solange Knowles . Yes, for the first season. Incredible. Stephen any way you can get me invited to a party with beyonce . I cant even get into a party with beyonce. Stephen what . I always just miss her and it just has been driving me crazy. I would love to meet her. Its crazy, even talking to solange about, when she was an employee on the show, hearing her have casual conversations, yeah, me and my sister and i zone out immediately because shes talking about beyonce, beyonce is her sister so it got very challenging. Stephen because ill hold the babies or anything like that if she needs the break. Honestly, if youre baby sitting, im baby sitting, too. Stephen its a deal. Season two of insecure begins this sunday on hbo. Issa rae, everybody well be right back thank you so much for being here heineken is served in 192 countries. Its world famous. Like me. Come here. Look it happens all the time. Antonio banderas its Antonio Banderas from the movies. Enjoyed in 192 countries. Theres more behind the star. Yo and you probably do. Rt youre a beautiful thing. Sc johnson. 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The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. No splashing wait so you got rid of verizon, just like that . Uhhuh. I switched to tmobile, kept my phoneeverything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah. Its nice that every bad decision doesnt have to be permenant ditch verizon. Keep your phone. Well even pay it off when you switch to americas best unlimited network. Ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. What are you doing after this . Four seconds on the clock, championship on the line. Erin the sharpshooter shanahan fakes left. Shes outside of the key, she shoots. She scores uh. Yes, erin, it is great time to score a deal. We need to make room for the 2018 models. Relive the thrill of beating the clock. The volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a 1,500 in available bonuses and 0 apr for 60 months on a new 2017 jetta or passat. Stephen and now here performing mercury please welcome planetarium cheers and applause all that ive known to be of life and i am gentle you ran off with it all and i am faithful all that i felt within my arms and i am weightless you ran off with it all and i am speechless all that i said to get it right and i am confident you ran off with it all and i am steadfast all that i thought to be precise and i am consequence you ran off with it all and i am sorry and i am sorry and i am sorry all that ive known to be at peace and i am desperate you ran off with it all and i am restless all that ive known to be of love and i am gentle you ran off with it all and i am desperate all that i dream where do you run where do you run to . And i am evidence all that i dream where do you run where do you run to . And i am faithless all that i dream where do you run where do you run to . Now i am messed up all that i dream where do you run where do you run to . Carrier, friend where do you run . cheers and applause stephen thank you so much. Thanks so much. Planetarium, everybody well be right back cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show. Goodnight cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from cocolalla, idaho, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden