Renew your vows. All in honor of the 20th anniversary of the first same sex marriage in the u. S. Outside lands is in august in s. F, so we can get married at outside land. Now you can. Wow [ cheers and applause ] steve from studio 6b in Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests tiger woods. Benny blanco. Comedian, todd barry. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 1963. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about. Thats a great crowd. I love you. Hey, welcome. Thats a great welcome. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, i am so pumped about this. Tiger woods is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and to make him feel comfortable, i personally carried his bag from the airport. Yeah. [ laughter ] well, a lot of people dont know this, but combined, tiger and i have been featured on a a wheaties box 14 times. [ light laughter ] tiger, 14 times and me [ laughter ] well, speaking of fulltime golfers, former President Trump was back in court today for his hush money trial. And before entering the courtroom, he once again complained about the temperature and called it a a freezing cold icebox. [ laughter ] yeah, every day he is slowing turning into your grandma. Is there a draft . I hate drafts. He said it was an icebox. Even bidens like, its called a freezer, you old man. [ laughter ] you could tell trump was freezing today when he wrapped his tie around his neck like a a scarf. [ laughter ] yep, trump was so cold, he came this close to hugging eric for warmth. [ laughter ] i thought that was nice. Yeah. [ applause ] i saw that i saw that today, eric actually attended the trial. Steve ooh. Jimmy yeah, oh, i forgot to tell you guys, today was take your kid to court day. So its earlier. [ laughter ] heres a sketch of eric in court. Yeah. And then eric said to the sketch artist, can you draw one of me riding a skateboard with buck teeth . [ laughter ] of course, everyone has been talking about how trump keeps falling asleep during his trial. And today he dozed off several more times. [ laughter ] eventually, trumps lawyer just slipped a pair of those fake awake glasses on him. [ laughter and applause ] im paying attention. Meanwhile, today, the judge held trump in contempt and fined him 9,000 for violating his gag order 9 times. Yep, trump was like, but i get the tenth one free, right . [ laughter ] trump wasnt alone when they started talking about his night with stormy daniels, everyone gagged. [ audience ohs ] thats right. Trump owes 9,000. Hes like, thats like 8 nfts, 9 pairs of gold sneakers, and 50 bibles. How am i supposed to pay that off. [ applause ] but this was nice, the judge also said that he wont hold the trial on may 17th so trump can attend his son barrons high school graduation. Yeah. Let me tell you, after sitting outside through a ninehour Graduation Ceremony in florida, hes going to miss that airconditioning. [ laughter ] he is. Oh, and this photo of trump walking into court after lunch is going viral. Take a look at this. Jimmy yeah, this is [ laughter ] this is when he tried chipmunking mcnuggets back into the courtroom. [ laughter ] well, switching gears, some business news. Walmart Just Announced that theyre closing all of their health care clinics. Great now im going to have to get my prostate exams at t. J. Maxx. [ laughter ] for some reason people didnt like being vaccinated by a a 90yearold walmart greeter with a shaky hand. Its like, youre aiming at my eyeball. Whats happening . I didnt even know walmart had health care clinics. Its like krispy kreme announcing theyre no longer offering pilates classes. [ laughter ] did you guys see this . Dave busters is going to start allowing customers to bet on arcade games. Until now the only way to gamble at dave busters was to eat there. [ laughter ] some more business news. Dominos Just Launched a new promotion that tips customers who tip their delivery drivers. Yeah, so theyre giving customers money to give their drivers money. [ laughter ] if only there were a simpler way. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i dont think there is. You guys, today is the last day of april. [ cheers and applause ] so, i thought it would be nice to give a little recap of the entire month. Here, lets do a quick one. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you. Aprils done it felt so short time flew by except in court one guy sat there every week, yeah donald trump fell asleep. [ laughter ] we all looked up at the sun with our glasses it was fun what could top a full eclipse how about the latest album from taylor swift. [ cheers and applause ] Caitlin Clark is mvp challengers the top movie tennis stars behaving bad dont watch it with mom and dad. [ laughter ] month of april there was plenty earth day, tax day and 4 20 also april fools of course i wish that explained the first golden bachelor couple is getting a divorce. [ laughter ] it was the fourth month of the year and now its done the next ones here the only thing thats left to say is that its gonna be may jimmy there you go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Thank you very, very much. Appreciate that. Thank you, roots. Its gonna be may [ light laughter ] jimmy finally, guys, the Kentucky Derby is this saturday, which means that its time once again for Kentucky Derby hat week. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Kentucky Derby hat week Kentucky Derby hat week Kentucky Derby hat week jimmy thats right. Every show this week were partnering with ford to give one lucky audience member a a rizztacular Kentucky Derby hat from the derby hat starting gate. Since this is day two, lets open gate number two and see what hat were getting. Lets see it. Ready. One, two, three. Wow. [ cheers and applause ] now thats a hat. That is a beautiful hat right there. That is a great Kentucky Derby hat. Now lets see who is going home with tonights hat. Everyone, look at your seat number. And if i call your number, i need you to jump up, let me know where you are and you have to stand up because you have to try this on. Quest, can i get a drum roll, please. Who wants this hat, come on . [ cheers ] [ drum roll ] jimmy 298. Where we going . Where are we going . All right. [ cheers and applause ] hey how you doing . Come on now. How are you . Good. How are you. Jimmy nice to see you. Welcome to the show. Thanks. Jimmy what is your name and where are you from . Anna, duchess county. Jimmy hey, anna, duchess county, very good. Anna, i realize that you didnt want to stand up to win this beautiful hat. [ laughter ] no, i jimmy oh, youre just in shock. This is a lot of anxiety, actually. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, its a lot. Yeah, no pressure. Theres no pressure at all. Do you are you do you have a hat like this for Kentucky Derby . No. Jimmy you dont . So this is the first one like would you like to try it on right now . Sure, of course. Jimmy you guys . I think it will be [ cheers and applause ] look at that. [ cheers and applause ] you look beautiful. Thats fantastic. No one will have a hat like you. I have to help you keep it up. Try to keep it on the whole show. The whole show . Jimmy no, no, im just kidding. Thank you so much. Congratulations to our winner. A round of applause, please. [ cheers and applause ] thank you to everyone at ford. Be sure to enter their derby day sweepstakes, where you have a chance to win a brandnew vehicle of your choice. An all new electric ford mustang mache, ecoboost powered bronco, or f 150 powerboost hybrid. Well be right back with more tonight show, everybody. Come on back. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there was a picture of you, i think it was the last day that you were playing, and it went viral on the internet. I dont know if you saw this. Its you shaking hands with a a tree. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its time. Yes, the time has come for a fresh approach to dog food. Everyday, more dog people are deciding its time to quit the kibble and feed their dogs fresh food from the farmers dog. Made by vets and delivered right to your door precisely portioned for your dogs needs. Its an idea whose time has come. Zyrtec allergy relief works fast and lasts a full 24 hours so dave can be the. Deliverer of dance. Ok, dave lets be more than our allergies. Zeize the day with zyrtec. When it comes to your wellness routine, the details are the difference. Dove men body wash, with plant based moisturizers in harmony with our bodies for healthier feeling skin. All these details add up to something greater. New dove men Plant Powered body wash. Its your time to cache in. So dont just play. Stay at northern californias premier casino resort. Book your getaway now. At cachecreek. Com. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. It is time for the latest installment of my do not read list. Here we go. Do not read do not read do not read these books these books jimmy now, before we start, i just want you all to know that every book that im about to show you is 100 real. These are actual books. You can find em on amazon or check them out at your local library. They are real i dont think theyll be at anyones library. Steve well, they might be. Jimmy well never know. Lets see. Lets see whats on my do not read list. Either way, if you see it, dont read it. [ light laughter ] thats what im saying, is that the point of this . Yeah. This first one heres a a cookbook from the 80s called microwave miracles and, uh [ laughter ] got some clams, shrimp, lobster floating in like, a bowl of hot koolaid there. Thats good. [ laughter ] i know im at home, i might tell my wife, hey, you want to microwave some clams . [ light laughter ] but you know youre in good hands because its from the culinary minds at sears. [ laughter ] so there you go. Thats a good book. [ applause ] steve thats a softer side, yeah. Jimmy im just saying, yeah. Steve yeah. Jimmy they would know. Microwave miracles. Steve a terrine of koolaid soup. Jimmy well, this next up is a classic. Steve oh. Jimmy this is middlemarch by george eliot. Steve oh, yeah. Love it. Jimmy its considered one of the best novels ever written. Okay, now this is a used copy that i found that has something pretty interesting on the last page. This is real, look at this. It says, marty, hey, sorry i left so abruptly, im just not happy. [ laughter ] steve wow. [ rim shot ] wow. Jimmy wow. Steve wow. Jimmy so someone was dating marty and waited until he finished an 810page book [ laughter ] to drop the news that she was leaving. Steve yeah. Make sure she got the footnotes, too. Jimmy i feel bad for marty. Yeah, at least put it in the middle somewhere. I feel bad for marty. But i would read i would that book. Steve yeah. This is the middlemarch. She marched right out in the middle. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. This next one is a book for animal lovers, okay . Steve love animals. Jimmy yeah, this is called celebrities favourite pets. Steve oh. Jimmy higgins, name me a a celebrity. Steve okay, Ryan Reynolds and blake lively. Jimmy no. Name me another celebrity. Steve tom cruise. Jimmy nope. Keep going. Steve whoopi goldberg. Jimmy mm, no, how about bob anderson, professional darts player. [ laughter ] steve that was the next one. That was the next one. Jimmy yeah, thats who it is, thats who we got. Bob, you got a story . Ooh, man, talking about pets . Do i got a story for you. Ooh, yeah. So heres bob anderson, professionals dart players story. It says as a 10yearold i had a pet rabbit called, almost inevitably, thumper. He was a real pal. Now with all the traveling i do, im unable to have a pet. [ laughter ] great story. [ laughter ] thats a great story, bob. You sure you want to waste that on my book . [ light laughter ] steve you could turn that into jimmy what a gift. What a gift. Thanks so much for giving me this great story about your pet, bob. [ light laughter ] steve turn that into a a movie. Jimmy they should turn that into a movie. [ light laughter ] thats a beautiful story. Next up is a childrens book. I love childrens books. This one is called things to make for children. Steve oh. Jimmy yeah. Like a creepy pingpong ball clown doll. [ laughter ] you guys want to get scared tonight . Guys want to get frightened . Lets put on dateline lets put on dateline and put the kids to sleep. Frightening. This next book is a d. I. Y. Book. Steve oh, love it. Jimmy yeah. This is called telephone repair illustrated. [ laughter ] by stephen bigelow. Yeah, this is a good book here, but this one has a dedication page. Steve oh really . Jimmy isnt that nice . It says, to my darling wife, kathleen. Without your loving encouragement and support, this book still would have been possible [ laughter and applause ] [ rim shot ] steve wow. Jimmy excuse me . Why would you . Kathleen kathleen is like, thanks a lot, stephen. Maybe she threw a phone at him and said thats how inspired him to write the book. Steve maybe oh, maybe she was dating marty. Jimmy oh. [ audience ohs ] she was leaving marty during this time. Steve yeah, maybe marty wrote that as a penname. Jimmy oh, interesting, yeah. Were down to our last book, everybody. Steve aw. Jimmy this is called spirit summonings. Steve ooh. Jimmy look at this one. It seems kind of interesting, right there, spirit summonings, yeah. Lets see what it looks like when someone summons a spirit. [ laughter ] steve okay, no. Jimmy i dunno. Steve oh, no. Jimmy looks like looks like hes summoning Something Else. [ laughter ] dont come in here dont come in here, its occupied occupied im summoning spirits dont come in here thats all the time we have for this edition of do not read. If you have a book that you think should be on our next do not read list, send it to donotread tonightshow. Com. Well be right back with tiger woods, everybody. Come on, now. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were together, we have 15 minutes to write a a song, what do we do . Me and you . Jimmy yeah. We call someone up whos better. [ laughter ] we call up the roots and have them write one. is it menopause or Something Else . The menopause journey has stages. Learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator. That tracks your fsh hormone levels. Combining them with your cycle data. Whats your menopause stage . Popeyes 25 tenders bundle is perfect for the whole family you get 12 hand breaded chicken tenders, four sauces, your choice of four regular sides, four biscuits, and four small drinks for just 25 you can feed the whole family at a price youre gonna love love that chicken from popeyes imagine a future where plastic is not wasted. But instead remade over and over. Into the things that keep our food fresher, our families safer, and our planet cleaner. To help us get there, americas plastic makers are investing billions of dollars to create Innovative Products and new recycling technologies for sustainable change. Because when you push for smarter solutions, big things can happen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is one of the greatest golfers to ever play the game. He has 82 pga tour wins and 15 majors. Now he has a new apparel and footwear brand called sun day red which is available now at sundayred. Com. Please welcome tiger woods [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on now. Come on. I gotta come on now. Stop. Jimmy come on. I appreciate it. Thank you. Jimmy the greatest. It always good to see you, buddy. Come on. How are you doing . Everything good . Im good. Jimmy youre looking good, pal. I want to look at this picture here. This is you and your son charlie playing at the pnc championship, and your daughter too, sam. Yeah, sam was caddying for me and she had well, we had the greatest time. These two were like nibbling at each other and needling each other. Im just trying to keep keep going, having fun, but theyre like jimmy theyre brother and sister. Theyre brother and sister. Theyre not gonna listen to one another. Jimmy yeah, of course, yeah. It was awesome. Jimmy do you remember when we were at we were together, i think we were at a charity thing for one of your charity events. And we were sitting in a golf cart together, and we were going to this thing, and i just had my first daughter. And you were like, how is your hows your that was a good yeah, thats a good story. Jimmy you go, hows your baby . Yeah, you go, hows your daughter . I go, shes great. I go, tiger, let me show you a a video of my daughter. And you go, okay. And im one of those dads that cant find the video. [ laughter ] you know, those annoying so im like looking through the thing, and youre sitting there patiently, youre like so i go, how is your son, by the way . As im looking. And you go, hes great. I think he was 3 or 2 or something at the time. He was a baby, and yeah, he was still in diapers. Jimmy he was in diapers and you go, let me show you a a video of my son while youre looking for a picture of your daughter. [ laughter ] and you showed me a video of charlie and hes wearing diapers and has one of those chuckits, yeah. Jimmy a chuckit. You know, the thing that you throw balls for dogs with a a tennis ball, like a chuckit. So the baby walks up, charlie, hes holding a chuckit thing. He goes up to this tennis ball with the chuckit and goes [ laughter ] and hits this amazing hes a baby. Hes a baby in diapers. And i go, oh, i found my video. You go, what are you i go, this is my daughter sucking on a lemon for the first time. [ laughter ] thought thatd be funny. Just two dads just being dads. Were being dads, were having fun, right . Jimmy it was yeah. We were having fun, exactly. How was the how was the masters . It was awesome. No, it was awesome. Jimmy yeah, it was . Just to be back, playing again, and to play there. Jimmy 26th . Was it my 26th one . 24 in a row, yeah. Jimmy oh, my god, buddy. Do you still get yeah, not too bad. Jimmy yeah, not too shabby at all. Do you still get that the energy when you get there . Like, the feeling of augusta and you go, im doing the yeah, i do and its nothing else like it. Ive been playing there since i was a teenager. So, theres nothing like driving down magnolia lane and seeing that, and just seeing the topography, just and then the history of it. Jimmy i there was a a picture of you, i think it was the last day that you were playing, and it went viral on the internet. I dont know if you saw this. Its you shaking hands with a a tree. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what was this and do you remember this . Well, it was yes, i do. Its the great verne lundquist, and he was there and hes [ laughter ] jimmy its the best picture ive ever seen. I love this so much. [ laughter ] it went all over the internet. I dont know if you saw these no, i what happened . Jimmy theres a couple memes. Okay. [ light laughter ] jimmy this one here said, when i asked for my receipt to be emailed instead of printed. Thats pretty good. [ laughter and applause ] ah, just email it to me, i dont want to see it. Okay, okay. Jimmy this one here says, how it feels to go on a good hike. You know, you go, hey, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, tree. I appreciate it. This last one was my favorite here, this one finally it says, these edibles aint yeah. [ laughter ] 30 minutes later youre shaking hands with a tree. Thats awesome, thats awesome. Jimmy yeah, come on. Oh, my goodness. Jimmy i also have to ask you about this thing that went viral, because only you can do this. You outdrove somebody while swinging your golf club from your knees. I did, and [ laughter ] i it was because, you know, ive been, unfortunately, my legs havent worked as well as ive gotten older. Jimmy yeah. So ive had to learn how to hit a golf ball off my knees. Jimmy thats not not true at all. Is this like a trick you knew how to do . Yes. Jimmy from a kid . [ laughter ] yes. Jimmy and so, someones like, lets ill have a a driving contest and you go yeah. Yeah. I had done it before. If they only knew like, what golfers do for gambling purposes or entertainment. This is one of them. Jimmy i want everyone to take a look at this. Watch this. All right. Long drive contest. Oh. No [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats insane. [ cheers and applause ] thats insane. Its good for me. Jimmy yeah, its great for you. Yeah, you could do the whole 18 with that, man, why not, man. [ light laughter ] we were talking once and i asked you when your first hole in one was, cause i always figured, well, you were probably in high school or Something Like that. And you were like, no, i think i was 6 or something. Was it and it was at, was at puttputt, right . Nope. Jimmy where was it . I was 8. Jimmy oh, sorry. [ laughter ] sorry, i just lost my i wont be writing the book. Okay, yeah, sorry. I was off two years. You were eight. No, you know, i was at a a par 3 course in hartwell and it was the 12th hole and i hit a 3 wood over top of a bunker and it rolled in. Jimmy is that right . Mmhm. Jimmy and you just were like then [ cheers and applause ] i mean youre probably too young i didnt see it go in, cause i was too short. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. But you were 8 so you probably didnt know, oh, im going to be a professional golfer then. No, no, no. Jimmy no. And here you are, youre tiger woods. Every time you come on, you always bring a fun story or a a new thing and now you have a a new athluxury line, i will say, i will call it. Its gorgeous, its called sun day red. Look at this. Youre wearing it right now. Super soft, what whats the thing behind this . How did you get involved with this . Well, its about athletes being first, and designing something for the athlete, so that we can perform at a higher level. And here we are with sun day red. Jimmy yeah, and you wanted to do this because you said, i want it to be so comfortable. I want it to feel like youre golfing naked. [ laughter ] is that another trick that you know how to do . [ laughter ] no. That is true. That is true. But if it helps you, then so be it. [ laughter ] jimmy why the name sun day red . Maybe because ive won a few tournaments on sunday and wearing red. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy why why red . Why is that the no, the red the red story is actually a good one. It comes from my mom. My mom thought it was my being a capricorn, whatever, is my power color or some b. S. Thing like that. [ laughter ] jimmy thats fantastic. So, i end up wearing red, and im winning some junior golf tournaments, and then to spite her i wore blue jimmy yeah. And i did not win those tournaments. [ laughter ] so, mom is always right. Jimmy yeah, your mom is always right. [ cheers and applause ] shes like, hey, bud, wear red. Tiger, i told you. Thats right. Jimmy youre one of the most accomplished athletes of our lifetime, both on and off the course. What is the one thing that you havent done yet thats still on the list for tiger woods to accomplish . Well, you and i had never gone headtohead in pingpong. [ laughter ] jimmy no, we havent. We havent done pingpong together. Weve done almost everything else. Correct. Jimmy yeah, weve never is that a thats something we can make a challenge, right . Jimmy yeah. 2024 . Done. Jimmy me versus tiger . Yes. Jimmy all right, done. [ cheers and applause ] youre the best, man. Always good to see you. Absolutely. Jimmy tiger woods, everybody. Sundayred. Com. [ cheers and applause ] get your hands on the first ever launch of sun day red right now at midnight. Well be right back with benny blanco. Stick around. Its tonight its on tonight. [ cheers and applause ] vo its shrimp your way. Choose three flavors for just 20. Like new street corn shrimp. And our famous garlic shrimp scampi. Its time to grab some cheddar bays and get flavorfull. Hurry in to try shrimp your way, only at red lobster. No application fee if you apply by may 31st at university of maryland global campus, an accredited university thats transformed adult lives for 75 years. Youre not waiting to win, youre ready to succeed again at umgc. Edu. Everyone say space pod meanwhile, at a vrbo. When other Vacation Rentals are just for likes, try one where youll actually like. Ladies and gentlemen, please take your. [crunching] mmmm. Place. Mmmm. On the conveyor belt. Lets move it oh. [crunching] [alarm beeping] [crunch] [crunch, crunch, crunch] turn up the fun with crunch shopify helps you sell at every stage of your business. So you can sell it online, take it in person and go big. Like a million orders big. Whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. [cheese grater cranking] geico makes Car Insurance easy. Say when. As easy as loving parmesan. Say when. [cheese grater cranking]. Say when. [cheese grater cranking]. Say when. When ah. Fresh ground pepper . Oh yes please. With 24 7 emergency roadside service, its easy to geico. Oh can we get a box . Of course. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is an 11time grammynominated artist, producer, and songwriter, who has a new cookbook and guide to entertaining called open wide which is available everywhere right now. Please welcome benny blanco [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on. Great to see you, my friend. Benny, congrats on the book open wide. Welcome to the show. Youve produced and written some of the most popular songs of our time. But this is an entertaining book, and a guide to dining, and wining and dining, and so i thought itd be fun to have a a little a little kind of dinner with you. Its like [ loud crunching ] yeah, okay, yeah, perfect. [ laughter ] its going out to dinner. What are we what are we doing tonight . Oh, my god, that was good. Jimmy it was good . Oh, my god, its delicious. Jimmy are you a big entertainer . Am i an entertainer . Yeah. I dont want to go to a a nightclub or anything. First of all, yeah, im way too short to be in a nightclub. [ light laughter ] no i cant be in a a nightclub. Its too loud. I want to be at home with my friends. I wanna drink until i cant see anymore. Jimmy yeah, okay, okay, thats good. [ light laughter ] that sounds fun. Yeah, its amazing. This book okay, basically what the book is, is its how do i throw the perfect dinner party, okay . How do i what do i drink . How do i what do i smoke . What music do i play while im just chilling . Jimmy oh yeah, you put some qr codes in here. Yeah, we put qr codes, we have a playlist. Its how do i kick my friends out when its 12 00 and i want to go to bed . [ laughter ] jimmy how do you do that . Okay, okay. Heres my two rules. One, i sit down on the couch and i just close my eyes, and then that one kind of works. But number one way, number one way jimmy wait, wait. You just close your eyes while everyones having dinner . No, no, after dinner, when were chilling. Jimmy oh, youre chilling now. You just like, kind of lean back, and youre like drifting in and out. Jimmy thats pretty good. But number one way, every single time, i just go, hey, does anyone want to help me clean up . [ laughter ] instantly, instantly. Jimmy everyone leaves. Everyone leaves. Instantly everyones gone. Jimmy thats kind of genius. [ cheers and applause ] thats brilliant. I leave my own house. Jimmy youre like, i dont wanna help. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy what are we having tonight . This is one of your favorite dinners you like to prepare. All right, we got steak. We got these potatoes are the greatest potatoes on planet earth. We got look at this bonein. Look how beautiful this is. Jimmy yeah, this is gorgeous. We got some whipped cream for us for later with some strawberries. Jimmy strawberries. [ laughter ] we got we got a nice salad. We got some red wine. Jimmy and what is this guy . Okay, okay, biggest trick, okay . Olive oil, you take a shot my friend nino taught me this. These old guys from italy came in. They said before you drink, you take a shot of this. You cant get hung over. Impossible. Jimmy have you ever heard of this . Audience no. Yes. Who said yes . [ laughter ] jimmy thats nino. Nino nino jimmy nino, whats up . Okay, we take it. We go one jimmy take a shot. Yeah, you go one, two, three, bam. [ audience ews ] [ laughter ] i love it. Jimmy that could have been that could have been fake, by the way. Oh, my god, its spicy. This ones a jimmy thats a little peppery olive oil. No, this is like classy. This like classy olive oil. Jimmy ugh, ooh, wow. Right, now i need this one. Yeah, now you get drunk. Its actually just to get you drunk. [ light laughter ] jimmy but one of your one of your things that you do with your artists when you work with them is you use food to start a relationship. Of course. Jimmy so, like, what does that mean . Like, who what artist comes in, like what, sza comes in and goes yeah, okay. First time szas ever at my house. Jimmy gotcha, here we go. She goes to the kitchen. Jimmy yeah. Shes getting a glass of water. Theres like, a small tupperware of something. Shes like, whats that . And i was like, oh, its just like some banana pudding. She takes a bite. Before the end of the night, puddings gone, okay . Jimmy wow. And then the next day she comes in, shes like, is there any more banana pudding . And i was like, no, but i did eat some lasagna yesterday. So shes eating lasagna. By the time we finished her album, i was a fulltime restaurant. [ laughter ] she wouldnt come over. She bribed me. She was like, im not coming over unless i got the banana pudding, the lasagna, i need a a caesar salad jimmy is that right . I need spicy fusilli. Yeah. Jimmy but thats how you you just get in there and start to get to know them through food . Im not even good at making music. I just [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know about that. Wouldnt you keep coming over to my house if i was just giving you like amazing food every day . Jimmy yeah, thats all i wanted. Yeah, of course. Come over. Jimmy so music is like a a side hustle for you . Food is your main thing . No, its the perfect its the perfect introduction. Are we eating . Jimmy yeah, lets have some. How does it even happen . I just want to eat potato. Jimmy yeah. How do whats the secret to these potatoes, do you know . No. Yeah, i do know. [ laughter ] of course, i know. No, theyre see how crispy they are on the outside . Jimmy they really are. Then inside is soft, its like a pillow. Jimmy yeah, this is gorgeous. Yeah, you love this. Dont you want to come over and make a number one song with me now . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy yeah, i really do. You know what i want to hear . What . Jimmy i wanna hear cause i know you worked with rihanna, you worked with our pal ed sheeran. And ed sheeran you did the album divide on a boat. We literally mm. Jimmy this is good. Wow, thats [ bleep ] good. Jimmy mmhm. That is good. Um, okay. Jimmy we both shouldnt have eaten at the same time. Yeah, i know. [ light laughter ] all right, that was good. Okay. Literally, i dont fly. Jimmy you dont fly . I took a boat to europe. I literally take the titanic to europe. [ laughter ] jimmy its not true. No, it is. Its the same when youre on the boat, like day three, theyre like, this is where the titanic sank. And youre just in the middle of nowhere. Jimmy they shouldnt say that to anyone, yeah. What do you mean . Its amazing. Me and ed sheeran watched it, actually we watched titanic in bed cuddling on the fourth night. [ laughter ] and it was jimmy you did not i swear. Jimmy you did with ed sheeran . I swear. Jimmy for writing the album divide . Yeah, we literally wrote the album. And eds so nice. The funniest thing jimmy hes the best, dude. Hes the nicest guy in the world. We would they gave us like a a room to write in. It was the same room that like there was like a a daytime pianist that was like this 85yearold woman, and she would come in to practice every day and had no idea who either one of us was. And she was like, hey, its my time to practice. And wed be like in the middle of writing like jimmy shed throw you guys out . Yeah, we were like in the middle of like writing like perfect or happier. And she was like she was just like and eds so nice. Hes like, okay. And he would like sit there, just like wait, just wait. [ light laughter ] she was a great pianist, ill tell you. Jimmy and she didnt know you or ed sheeran . No, she didnt know anyone. I loved her. [ laughter ] jimmy how did i love the story. But do you when youre there i mean, now you know how to do it. I mean, youve written so many great pop songs, and songs that are the most popular things on the radio. Do you know do you have have a routine . You go, jimmy, i know what we would do when we get together. How much time do you get with an artist . Like, you spend a lot of time with ed on a boat. Were together, we have 15 minutes to write a a song, what do we do . Me and you . Jimmy yeah. We call someone up whos better. [ laughter ] we call up the roots and have them [ applause ] jimmy the roots. They could help. Yeah, exactly. Thats what we do. Jimmy but say a real youre with a real artist. Okay, okay. Heres what i do. Jimmy yeah. Basically, im a therapist. So immediately the artist comes in. Jimmy yeah. I got to figure out i got to pull out their deepest, darkest secret and then make make them feel comfortable enough to tell me it. Then we have to write a song about it. Then we have to figure out the melody for it. Then we have to make sure the rest of the world likes it, as well. Jimmy its kind i dont really care what the rest of the world likes, but for some reason, sometimes when we make the songs, people like em. Jimmy yeah. They you make really great songs. Nah, man. Jimmy you really know what youre doing, bud. I dont. I really dont. Honestly, i kind of black out, and then i wake up, and theres just like crumbs over me and a a song done. [ laughter ] jimmy you by the way, i saw your mom backstage. Im so happy that sandy was here tonight. Aw. Jimmy thank mom, thanks for being here and supporting your kid. [ cheers and applause ] hes done pretty well. The book is called open wide. I just want to tell everyone, cause i love the book, i love the photos, but i also like your sense of humor. Its really good. Some of the chapters ready . Heres some of the chapters. I wish i was an italian grandma. Thats pretty good. Take me to the cheesy rodeo. Why we only have thanksgiving once a year . Thats a great question. Thats a question. Jimmy i love that food. I like this one. Stop asking me where to eat in new york and l. A. [ laughter ] i swear jimmy everybody where do we go, benny . Every nand its always like someones like, hey, im in new york on 32nd street and i need a restaurant in the next 15 seconds. And then ill get my friend you know one of my you know eric andre . Jimmy yeah. Eric andrell ask me for a a reservation, like the hardest reservation to get. And then ill pull all the strings, ill get it for him. And then hes like, ah, we just went to dennys instead. [ laughter ] its crazy. Jimmy thats very him. Yeah, hes super funny. Hes the sweetest man. Jimmy hes the funniest dude ever. But how do you go like from this, to go like and doing what youre doing to go like, oh, im going to write a a book . Honestly it kind of happened by a mistake. I was just throwing i start throwing dinner parties in l. A. , like, just with my friends. Jimmy yeah. And my other friend was having a, like, book release, and they did it at my house, and it was in like the l. A. Times. And then the next day, my agent, whos actually here, called me and she was just like, hey, do you want to make a cookbook . And i was like, yeah. Like it was like no, it was like a dream. You know how you have those dreams that you dont tell anyone about . Jimmy yeah. And you never think they could actually happen. I feel like my whole life is like that sort of dream, and im just, like, pinching myself literally this morning i was like, what . Im going to go see jimmy . [ laughter ] like that was literally this morning, i was waking up. I was brushing my teeth and i was looking in the mirror, and i was like, im going to see jimmy. Jimmy here we go. Youre on the tonight show. Youre okay. Jimmy yeah, am i right . [ cheers and applause ] im so honored to have you here. Thank you for the meal. Benny blanco. Open wide is available everywhere right now. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with stand up from todd barry. Cheers. Im gonna do that olive oil trick. That was spicy, what was it . [ cheers and applause ] marshalls buyers are detail obsessed perfectionists. Who take quality very seriously. And go to the ends of the earth to hustle the best of the best for you. Yes we get the deals, you get the good stuff. Marshalls. Can an oven Roasted Turkey Breast pack so much succulent flavor, that the mere glimpse of it induces turkey sandwich daydreams . If its hillshire farm, oh, hill yeah. ™ tony hawk skating for over 45 years has taken a toll on my body. I take qunol turmeric because it helps with healthy joints and inflammation support. Why qunol . It has superior absorption compared to regular turmeric. Qunol. The brand i trust. When it comes to your wellness routine, the details are the difference. Dove men body wash, with plant based moisturizers in harmony with our bodies for healthier feeling skin. All these details add up to something greater. New dove men Plant Powered body wash. state farm jingle leo jake from state farm. You did it, buddy. Well you suggested bundling home and auto you bundlin bundler. Who wanted that affordable price . Bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, state farm is there. Lactaid is 100 real milk, just without the lactose. Delicious too. Just ask my old friend, kevin. Nothing like enjoying a cold one while watching the game. Whos winning . We are, my friend. We are. Ring jingle whasssssup. Greetings happen. Yeah, thats not good happens. Huge things happen. Home happens. Woo hoo be there with ring. Learn more at ring. Com. On your period, sudden gushes happen. Say goodbye gush fears thanks to always ultra thins. With rapiddry technology. That absorbs two times faster. Hellooo clean and comfortable. Always. Fear no gush. Were looking for adults 45 and under to be in our hpv vaccination ad. Sound like you . Nah. Not me. In a relationship. If youre sexually active and unvaccinated, it could still be you. Im too old if youre under 45, youre not. For most people, hpv clears on its own. But for those who dont clear the virus, it can cause certain cancers. Wow. Gardasil 9 is a vaccine given to adults through age 45 that can help protect against certain hpvrelated cervical, vaginal, vulvar, anal, and certain head and neck cancers, such as throat and back of mouth cancers, and genital warts. Gardasil 9 doesnt protect everyone and doesnt treat cancer or hpv infection. These diseases may have many causes. Your doctor may recommend screening for certain hpvrelated cancers. Routine Cervical Cancer screenings are still needed. You shouldnt get gardasil 9 if youre allergic to the vaccine, its ingredients, or yeast. Tell your doctor if you have a weakened immune system, are pregnant, or plan to be. The most common side effects include injection site reactions, headache, fever, nausea, dizziness, tiredness, diarrhea, abdominal pain, and sore throat. Fainting can also happen. Help protect yourself against certain hpvrelated cancers. Talk to a doctor or pharmacist today. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest has his comedy special, domestic shorthair available now on youtube. Making his tonight show debut, please welcome the very funny todd barry. [ cheers and applause ] all right. I live right here in new york city. The building i live in charges me 50 a month because i have a a cat. Its a spiteful pet fee to have. [ light laughter ] remember being in the leasing office, signing the lease, guys like, so its just you in the apartment . Yeah, just me and my cat. Oh, so its not just you in the apartment. [ laughter ] theres also something this big living there . [ light laughter ] yeah, shes the size of my toaster. You have a toaster . [ laughter ] you gotta come clean with me, my man. [ laughter ] all right. I have a couple of spoons also. [ light laughter ] okay, well go 50 for the cat, 30 for the toaster. 8 bucks each for the spoons. [ light laughter ] i can make that joke last 19 hours if i wanted to. [ laughter and applause ] im trying to move into a fancy building, had to fill out this long application. They said, do you have a pet . I said, i have a cat. They said, we need to see a a picture of the cat. [ light laughter ] you think im lying about having a cat . [ laughter ] thats the kind of lies i tell . I have a cat. I do not have a cat. [ laughter ] i dont know why i just said that. Maybe theyre just trying to trip me up. Oh, you got me, its really a a polar bear. [ light laughter ] i was gonna draw whiskers on him, hope for the best. I didnt realize you had this airtight screening process [ light laughter ] where you ask for a picture of the cat, because you know how hard it would be for me to go online and find a picture of a cat. [ laughter and applause ] and what are you going to do when you get that picture . Oh, no, no, no. Not another calico. [ laughter ] supposed to brush my cats teeth. That was sprung on me by my vet, you gotta start brushing her teeth. I was like, okay, i wouldnt have gotten the cat. [ laughter ] just saying had i known, i wouldnt have considered it for one second. But its too late, i love her. So i went on youtube looking for tutorials how to brush your cats teeth. [ light laughter ] thought there might be one or two, theres thousands of them. [ laughter ] all the same, none of em are helpful. Theyre all like, heres like how you brush your cats teeth. First, start out with the worlds most relaxed cat. [ laughter ] you got that . No, i dont got that. Shockingly i do not have that. Place her carefully on this table specifically designed to examine animals. [ light laughter ] you can get one at your local veterinary supply store for 6,000. [ laughter ] now, take the toothbrush and toothpaste i watch it, oh, my god, she took it from my hand. [ light laughter ] shes taking the cap off the toothpaste. Shes brushing her own teeth. [ laughter ] crest white strips, whered you get those, baby . [ laughter ] they have cat cafes now. [ scattered cheers ] coffee shops [ light laughter ] they have cat cafes now. [ laughter ] coffee shops with cats roaming around in them. Theyre great. I go to these when im on the road. Usually theres like 20 or 30 cats at these places. I went to one in sweden that had six cats. And they were proud of it, like, we have six cats here. Its like, if i went to a a noncat cafe, and they had six cats there id be like, oh, theres a few cats in here. [ laughter ] i wouldnt be like, whoa. Did i accidentally wander into a cat cafe . [ laughter ] i am counting one six whole cats. Im five cats and a mr. Coffee away from having a swedish cat cafe. [ cheers and applause ] im just doing cat jokes tonight, by the way. [ laughter ] its fun being a new cat owner, get to buy her stuff. I was on amazon looking at cat treats. Found a brand of cat treat, theres a bunch of reviews next to it, saw there was a onestar review. I was like, ooh, i gotta read a onestar review of a cat treat. [ light laughter ] this was the entire review. My cat didnt like this. [ laughter ] guys, it is keyboard. Im going to keep this lean and mean. My cat didnt like this. Boom, the end. [ laughter ] i could just see that guy at home, hey, pockets, come here. Got some new treats for you to try. What do you think . Oh, you dont like them . Oh, dont worry, daddyll bankrupt the company. [ laughter and applause ] well, just try a different brand, dont be so petty. You dont be so polite, pockets. Im going to crush them. Thank you very much, folks. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy daddys gonna bankrupt them . Todd barry [ cheers and applause ] domestic shorthair is available now on youtube. Well be right back, everybody. Come on over. Thank you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] its a beautiful. Day to fly. Wooooo [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to tiger woods, benny blanco, todd barry once again ladies and gentlemen. Todd barry. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Goodnight everybody. Byebye. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight joe manganiello, host of msnbcs way too early, journalist jonathan lemire